Loving Yourself Through Menopause

Dr. Sharon Stills

Hi, everyone. I’m Dr. Sharon Stills, your host of Mastering the Meno(Pause) Transition Summit. Welcome back for another interview. And this is one of the reasons I did this Summit, because I really wanted you all to understand that mastering the menopause transition goes so much more beyond than just balancing your hormones. And you know that balancing your hormones is important, but it’s who we are when we’re doing things. And how much do we love ourselves? And so I was able to get Dr. Margaret Paul come share with us today. She’s a bestselling author. She’s a popular mind body green writer and co-creator of the powerful inner bonding, self-healing process, and the related self-quest self-healing online program, which is recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. She has appeared on numerous radio and television shows, including Oprah. Her book titles include “Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You?” And subsequent titles “Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by God?” And “Do I Have to Give up Me to Be Loved by My Kids?” “Healing Your Aloneness and Inner Bonding”, and the recently published “Diet for Divine Connection” and “The Inner Bonding Workbook.” Margaret holds a PhD in psychology. She’s a relationship expert, public speaker, consultant, and artist, and she has successfully worked with thousands and taught classes and seminars for over 50 years. So we are so thrilled to have you today here with us and have this important conversation about self-love.

Dr. Margaret Paul

Yeah. Yep, I’m looking forward to it.

Dr. Sharon Stills

So that’s quite an impressive bio. So why don’t we just jump right in? Like we all talk about self-love, love yourself, take a bath, get your nails done, be kind. But what does it really mean, and why is it so important to love yourself?

Dr. Margaret Paul

Yeah. I mean, people talk about what to do externally, you know, like getting your nails done or take a bath or take a nap, but what we’re really talking about is taking responsibility for your own feelings. And this is what people don’t learn how to do. And this is especially true during menopause. Those of you that are either premenopausal going through menopause know what a challenge it is. It was a huge challenge for me when I went through that, and knowing how to take responsibility for my feelings was incredibly helpful to me during that time. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through it if I didn’t know how to do that. And so, for example, if you have a baby who’s crying, you know that you wanna take responsibility for that baby’s feelings. You’re gonna go pick up the baby, feed the baby, change the baby. You’re gonna do something to take care of the feelings. But most of us have no idea that we’re responsible for our own feelings, and we don’t know how to do it. And so the process that I teach, inner bonding, that’s the how. You know, people know that they have to do it, but they don’t know how. How do you do that? How do you take responsibility for your feelings? What does it really mean? So that’s what we can talk about.

Dr. Sharon Stills

All right. Yeah, ’cause when you say responsibility for your feelings, do you mean your feelings towards yourself or your feelings towards others or both?

Dr. Margaret Paul

I mean all of your feelings. So, step one of inner bonding is learning to be present in your body. Most of us, as we were growing up, we learned to be in our head because there was a lot of pain for a lot of us. And so in order to not be in pain, we learned to get into our head, but when we’re in our head or abandoning ourselves in other ways, judging ourselves, numbing ourselves with various addictions, making other people responsible for our feelings. We’re not taking care of ourselves. We’re not loving ourselves. We’re abandoning ourselves. So I’m talking about all of our feelings. Our feelings of anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, anger, aloneness, emptiness, jealousy. These are the feelings that we actually cause with our self-abandonment. Then there’s the feelings of life, the loneliness when we wanna connect with somebody and nobody’s there or they’re not available. That’s a life feeling. 

Grief at losing someone we love or losing a job or whatever. Heartbreak when people are mean to us or mean to themselves or each other. And feelings like helplessness over others. We’re not helpless over ourselves, but we’re helpless over others’ choices and what others do. So there’s the feelings of life, the existential feelings of life. We’re responsible for managing them. We’re not responsible for causing them, but we are responsible for learning to lovingly and compassionately manage them. But we’re responsible for causing what we call the wounded feelings, that whole other list. Anxiety, depression, and so on. We cause those, and we’re responsible for all the self-abandoning ways that we treat ourselves because when we’re abandoning ourselves, that’s the opposite of loving ourselves. And those feelings are letting us know that we’re not loving ourselves, that we’re abandoning ourselves. And so if we’re in our head, we don’t even know that we’re feeling those feelings.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Mmm, so the first step is to get in your body.

Dr. Margaret Paul

Right, to get in your body, get present in your body, and that’s not easy for a lot of people. It wasn’t easy for me because I had learned to stay in my head, and I had learned to attend to other people’s feelings but to ignore mine. And so to get into my body and pay attention to my feelings, that took practice. But once you’re aware of a feeling, let’s say anxiety or depression or anger or agitation like in menopause, there’s a lot of agitation or at least there was for me. Then what we wanna do is then move… Once we’re aware of the feeling, then we wanna move into step two which is breathing into your heart. And in inner bonding there’s only two intentions. Either your intention is to learn about loving yourself, learn about what you’re doing, that self-abandoning, learn about your false beliefs. Or your intention is to protect against pain with various forms of controlling, self-abandoning, avoidant behavior. So in step two, we consciously open to learning. You know, we say, yeah, I really do wanna learn about how I’m treating myself that may be causing this pain. And in step two, we open to a higher part of ourselves. Our older, wiser self, our higher self, our higher guidance, whatever that is for a person. 

We open and invite that love and compassion, that strength and wisdom into our heart. Because in step two what we’re doing is creating a loving adult. We can’t take care of our feelings from a child place. We have to do it from an adult place. So in step two, we breathe in, we open to learning, we connect with our higher self. Then in step three, we go back into the feeling. So let’s say, you’re feeling agitated, and you’re going in and you’re asking, what am I telling you? How am I treating you? What am I doing or not doing? It’s like we’re talking to an inner child. Or we can think of our feeling self as the inner child. This is our soul. This is our essence. And this part often communicates with us through our feelings. And so we’re going in and asking, how am I treating you? How am I abandoning you that’s causing this pain? And we go in and we let that feeling part of ourselves, that inner child, that soul, answer from inside. And maybe the answer will be you’re ignoring me or you’re putting pressure on me or telling me I better do everything right. Or you’re judging me that I’m not good enough or whatever it is that that so many people have learned to do to abandon themselves. 

Or you’re numbing me out with sugar, and I can’t handle it, it’s agitating me. And once we understand what we’re doing, then we go a little bit deeper into what we call the wounded self, that’s the ego. And that’s the part of us that’s treating us badly. This is a young part of us. And it’s a part of us that lives in the lower left brain, the fight or flight mechanism that absorbed fears and false beliefs, and we’re operating from that young part. And most of us think that’s who we are. We’re that part of ourselves. We’re our ego, we’re our wounded self. And we don’t know that that’s really not who we are, that we have a beautiful soul inside that needs our attention. And so we go into that part and find out why. Why are we treating ourselves this way? What do we believe? And this is where we start to contact our false beliefs. And maybe that part’s gonna say, well, I can’t handle my feelings. I’ve gotta ignore them ’cause I can’t handle them. I’m gonna die or go crazy if I feel my feelings. Or it’s not my responsibility, I wasn’t taken care of as a kid, so it’s somebody else’s job. Or I’ve gotta numb out. I can’t handle this. Or if I judge myself enough and put enough pressure on myself to do everything right then somebody else will love me and make me feel better. So there’s all kinds of beliefs that we’re gonna come in contact with that have to do with control.

Dr. Sharon Stills

And does this all come from our childhood? Is that what you find?

Dr. Margaret Paul

Yeah. They come from our experiences. What happens is that we absorb the wounded selves of our parents. So let’s say that your mother was a people pleaser. She gave herself up all the time and took care of everybody else. Well, you might have absorbed that. You might be a people pleaser. You might be just completely giving yourself up, trying to take care of everybody else and feeling drained and agitated because of it. Or maybe your father was a very angry person, and you absorbed that, and your father’s anger was effective in controlling you, so you think your anger will control others, but, in fact, it’s making you agitated. And so yeah, we absorb all through our childhood the wounded selves of our parents, siblings, teachers, media. In many different ways we absorb these false beliefs and ways of abandoning ourselves thinking it’s gonna give us control, and yet it creates all of our pain or most of our pain. So we wanna be tuning into that. 

We wanna be opening to that. And then once we understand what we’re doing and what our expectations are, our beliefs are, then we go to step four, which is back to our higher guidance, our higher self. And we’re asking what’s the truth about any of these beliefs? And what’s the loving action towards ourselves? And this is something that I encourage people to really start to build into their lives, to be asking the higher part of themselves, who does know, what’s loving to me right now? What’s in my highest good right now? People don’t ask that. If they have a baby they’ll say what’s loving to my baby? But they won’t say what’s loving to myself.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Mm. I love that question.

Dr. Margaret Paul

Yeah. What’s loving to myself right now? Not at some future time, but right now.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Right. It’s so easy to wanna like say well, in the future, but not right now, do it in the future.

Dr. Margaret Paul

No, right now. Right now. That baby’s crying right now. What does that baby need right now? That baby in us, I call it having your inner baby monitor on. That baby’s crying right now. What does that baby in us need right now from us? And so with practice, you can learn to tune into that higher part of you that does have that information. And in step five, then you do it. You do whatever’s loving. And then in step six, you tune in, see how you’re feeling. And if you’re feeling better, then you know that you’ve taken a loving action for yourself. If you don’t, you go back and ask, well, that’s not working, what else should I do? What else would be loving to me? Now, being able to access that higher guidance takes practice. It’s about our frequency. We vibrate at a fairly low frequency so we can see each other. If we were vibrating like a hummingbird’s wings, like really, really fast, we wouldn’t see each other. And so our bodies vibrate at a fairly low frequency, but spirit vibrates at a high frequency. 

So in order to access that, we have to raise our frequency. And there’s two things that we do, and these take practice, but there’s two things that will raise your frequency high enough to access your higher guidance. One is your intention. When your intention is to learn about loving yourself that raises your frequency. When your intention is to protect against pain with various forms of controlling behavior that lowers your frequency. There’s no way to access spirit when that’s your intention. The second thing is, is the frequency of your body. And unfortunately, in this day and age, there’s so much junk in the stores. There’s so much fast food. There’s so much junk food. There’s so many… processed food with sugar and high fructose corn syrup and additives and pesticides and GMO and all this. This is very tough on the body. And so when you eat those things it lowers your frequency, and it makes it very hard to access your higher guidance. And so part of loving yourself is to learn about what actually creates health in your body. If you’re eating for health, you’re gonna keep your frequency high. So if your intention is to learn about loving yourself, you’re gonna do it on the physical level. You’re gonna do it on the emotional level, on the spiritual level, on many different levels. And that’s when you’re gonna start to feel the inner peace, the joy that’s here for all of us.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Mmm. That’s so beautiful. I don’t think we’re taught to even think about how we’re loving ourselves. We’re taught to love another, find a partner, but can we truly be a good partner if we haven’t first partnered to ourselves?

Dr. Margaret Paul

No, because if you’re not bringing love into yourself, then there’s an emptiness inside. And that emptiness is sort of like a vacuum cleaner. It’s an empty hole and it wants love. And so if you’re in a partnership and you’re not loving yourself, you’re gonna be trying to get love, and that’s what people do. We attract at our common level of self-love or self-abandonment. So if you’re abandoning yourself and you’re looking for somebody to love you, you’re gonna be attracted to somebody who’s also abandoning themselves and looking for you to love them. But you don’t have love to give. If you’re not loving yourself where are you gonna get the love? We don’t manufacture love, we open to it. Love is what God is. God is love. Spirit is love. And so when we open our heart to loving ourselves that’s an invitation to that love to come into our being, into our heart, into our soul. We get all filled up with love. And then we come to our partner to share love, but we have love to share instead of trying to get love, which is what the wounded self does and which that’s a codependent relationship. You’re each trying to get love. We come to each other to share love, and that’s an extraordinary experience.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Just hearing you say it. I just feel the love flooding through my body. It’s just such a beautiful way of seeing things clearly. So how did you get involved in this being your life’s work? I’m so curious.

Dr. Margaret Paul

Well, like so many, I grew up in a dysfunctional family, and my mother took me to a psychiatrist when I was five. I was pretty much of a wreck as a kid. And, of course, she thought it was my fault. She didn’t know that she was kind of an angry narcissist. And the psychiatrist talked to me and talked to her, and then, and I’ll never forget this ’cause it was a defining moment of my life. And he said to both of us, he said to me, tell your mother not to yell at you so much. And I remember thinking I’m only five years old. She is not gonna listen to me, you tell her. And the next thought was, I can do a better job than you. And I was five. I decided, that’s when I decided to do this work.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Wow.

Dr. Margaret Paul

And so then I became a traditional psychotherapist doing traditional psychotherapy for 17 years. I had a ton of my own therapy. I wasn’t happy with that. I wasn’t happy with the results of traditional psychotherapy. And at that time I started to pray for a process that would really work, or a teacher or something to come into my life because I was not happy with traditional psychotherapy. And so that’s when I met Dr. Erika Chopich, she’s the co-creator of inner bonding. She had half the process. I had half the process. Spirit came in and put it together for us. That was 38 years ago. So it’s been evolving all that time. And that was completely life changing for me. At that time, I was very ill. 

I had been ill as a child, and in my early 20s I was tired of being ill. So I started to read everything on health, and I changed my diet, all organic, at that time, and I got a lot better. But because I had been giving myself up so much, you can’t just give and give and give, you get depleted. And many people eventually get sick, and I was very sick at that time. So it’s just a good thing that inner bonding came in at that time, and I realized, because at that time I did a process with myself, and I let my inner child get angry with me. And one of the things she said to me, she was yelling at me. You know, you’re giving to others. You’re loving to others. What about me? You don’t see me. You don’t know me. I don’t even exist for you. You treat me just like mom did. You treat me just like dad did. You don’t care about me at all. How sick do I have to make you before you pay attention to me? See, that was it.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Yes. That is a truth. That is definitely a truth. So for the women listening who are somewhere on their menopausal perimenopausal journey, it’s so easy, that false belief from society that you’re getting old, you’re getting ugly, you don’t matter anymore. We’re gonna just put you out to pasture, which we are all about changing and flipping that script here ’cause we know that’s not true. But what would you say to the women listening? Any tips for them on…

Dr. Margaret Paul

My best, my most joyous times have been postmenopausal, and my most productive times have been postmenopausal because doing inner bonding changed everything for me. It opened me to my creativity. It opened me to my spiritual connection. It opened me to the joy of what I do. It opened me to being able to share love with the people in my life. Now I’m gonna share my age. I’m gonna be 83 soon.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Really?

Dr. Margaret Paul

Yes, I’m going to be 83 soon.

Dr. Sharon Stills

I love that.

Dr. Margaret Paul

And I am more vital and alive today, and I do more and have more joy and peace than I ever had. So I wanna tell all of you premenopausal, menopausal, just post-menopausal women, your life can start at that time. You know, you’re done with all the menstrual stuff. You’re done with the hassle of it. You’re free of that, and now you can learn to love yourself. Now you can learn to discover who you really are. One of the things that’s so powerful in the inner bonding process is learning to see ourselves through the eyes of our higher guidance because we can’t see ourselves through our programmed wounded self. But when you start to see yourself through your higher eyes, the eyes of love, and you get that you are a spark of the Divine. You have your individual gifts, you are incredible, you are amazing. When you really get that, and you really start to love who you are in your true soul essence, that’s when you can blossom. And that’s what happened for me. I didn’t know that before that time. And so much has happened for me since then.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Wow.

Dr. Margaret Paul

That’s why I said it’s the best time of my life.

Dr. Sharon Stills

You’re living… I feel that way too, but I’m only 54. So you are such an inspiration for me because I too, I went through menopause at 48, and I felt like after that was when I really… I had always been working on myself and doing deep work, but I felt like it just deepened then. And I really got to this place of peace and joy and love and productivity. And it really is this, I call it the second sacred act of your life, but it really is such a beautiful time, and I’m just at the beginning of it. So to see you… I did not know your age, I really didn’t. I thought you were gonna say like 68 or something. So to see you doing what you’re doing is just such an inspiration to me and I’m sure all the listeners. That it’s never too late to start again. And I do believe, and you are doing the work that without self-love… like, that’s why we’re here to learn to love ourselves and…

Dr. Margaret Paul

And share that love.

Dr. Sharon Stills

And that’s the diving board, the springboard that we dive into life from. So that is just so, so beautiful. So are there any little procedures or tools or exercises? That’s the word I’m looking for, any little exercises that the ladies listening you could share with them that they could kind of just start integrating on their own? Is there a place to start? What do you recommend?

Dr. Margaret Paul

Well, yes. I mean, you know, the six steps of inner bonding are a pathway. They’re the tools for getting there, but right now, right now, I encourage everybody to just take a few deep breaths, take a few deep breaths, and put your mind on your breath. Take yourself out of mind focus. As you put your mind on your breath, let your breath take you down inside into your body so that you move out of mind focus and into body focus. And as you breathe in scan your body, notice any physical sensations going on because emotions generally show up physically. So notice if there’s any tightness anywhere, any tension, any shaking, any butterflies, any numbness, any emptiness, just notice what’s going on inside. Anything other than a sense of fullness and a sense of peace lets you know that there’s something to attend to. So breathe into that, whatever it is that’s going on move towards it. Welcome it, embrace it. It’s information. It’s not to be avoided. So many of us have been taught to avoid our painful feelings. 

Now we wanna move towards them, open to them, and make a decision that you want responsibility for them. Just make that decision. And now breathe into your heart and consciously open to learning. Say, yeah, I wanna know if there’s something I’m doing. If there’s some way I’m treating myself that’s causing something other than peace and fullness. And imagine an older, wiser aspect of you, like you 500 years older than you. Very wise, very loving, very powerful, always here for you, adores you, and just say to yourself, I invite your love, your compassion, your strength, your wisdom into my heart and breathe that in and make sure that, you’re in your heart, that you’re very curious. No judgment. That you’re just open to knowing what that inner child who might be feeling something other than peace and fullness inside has to say to you. And then breathe back inside and ask the feeling part of you. What am I telling you? How am I treating you? What am I doing or not doing right now that’s causing you to feel something other than peace and fullness? Something other than feeling full of love inside. 

What am I doing that’s making you feel empty or unloved or inadequate, scared, anxious, tense, alone, angry, depressed, jealous, envious, guilty, shamed? What am I doing? What am I telling you? And see if you can tune into that. Listen to what the feelings wanna tell you. Imagine that’s a child inside, a child who you might have been abandoning, who you might not be loving, who you might be judging, who you might be ignoring, who you might be numbing out with various addictions, who you might be giving away to others for their approval, for their love, for their attention. Just notice without judgment. And if you discover anything about what you’re doing, go a little deeper. Ask why am I doing this? What’s my hope? What’s my belief? What’s my agenda? What am I trying to control? What am I trying to get? What am I trying to avoid? Because whenever we’re abandoning ourselves, we’re trying to protect against something, avoid something, control something. See if you can tune into that. Okay. So those are just the first three steps of inner bonding. I can take you through the rest if you’d like.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Sure.

Dr. Margaret Paul

Okay, we’ll keep going.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Who knew I was getting healing during this interview?

Dr. Margaret Paul

Okay. Okay, we can keep going. Okay. Now, imagine yourself in a beautiful place in nature. Someplace you love to be. And imagine yourself there with your higher self, your older, wiser self. I want you to ask that… You know, imagine you’re sitting at a picnic table with your higher self, is very wise. And let’s say that you uncovered a belief that you can control how people feel about you or whatever it is. Ask your higher self is it the truth? Is what I uncovered the truth? Do I have this control? Is it loving to suppress my feelings? Avoid my feelings? Is it true that I can’t handle my pain as an adult? Well, it’s true as a child, but is it true now as an adult? Just see what your higher guidance has to say. Just make it up. Imagine it. Imagine what your guidance would say to you. And then ask your guidance what would be loving to my inner child right now? Just open to whatever wants to come through you. One thing that’s often loving is just to hold with love, to put your hands on your heart and hold your inner child with love, to just let that inner child, that soul know, that she’s not alone. Surprisingly our wounded self doesn’t know that we’re an adult. And so saying I’m an adult, I’m here. I am capable of taking care of you. 

I am capable of learning and growing. I am capable of learning to manage pain. I’m an adult and you’re not alone. I’m not gonna leave you alone. Sometimes just that will bring a lot of comfort. So just imagine doing that. And then imagine that your little tiny child, like a year or two years old, is there with you in nature with your higher self. And imagine that you can see your beautiful soul, who you are as you come into life through the eyes of your higher self, through the eyes of love. Just see that you’re a spark of love. You’re a spark of the Divine. See the gifts that you’ve been given, your uniqueness. See that you’re gentle, you’re kind you’re compassionate, you’re caring. See your individual kind of intelligence, your individual kind of creativity. See that in your soul there’s nothing wrong with you. Nothing unlovable, nothing unworthy, nothing that needs to be fixed. In fact, as that soul, as that spark of God, you’re perfect. And there’s no reason not to love who you truly are, and just recognize that your wounded self doesn’t even know. Doesn’t even know that this beautiful essence is in you because it’s been programmed to think that you’re inadequate, that you’re not enough, that you’re flawed, that you’re unlovable. 

It doesn’t know who you are, and it can’t see who you are. So you have to see that through the eyes of your higher guidance. And you have to see that like a newborn baby, you are deeply worthy of loving. You are deeply worthy of you loving that inner child. And just imagine what life would be like if you were truly seeing and valuing and loving your true self. Just imagine the peace and the joy and the connectedness with others that comes about as you learn to connect with yourself, your true self, and your higher self. You learn to create an inner family. A flow of love between your higher self, your loving adult and your heart and your inner child inside. Just feel that flow and how beautiful it is. And how does that feel, Sharon?

Dr. Sharon Stills

Mmm. We’re all in a circle dancing around the picnic table. That’s just absolutely lovely. Lovely, lovely, lovely. And just such a, for me personally, it was such a good reminder that I grew up in such dysfunction and chaos and that everything not being okay seemed to be what was comfortable and okay, and so it was really reminding me, it’s okay to have it all, to feel great, to love life. Like that can be a baseline too. Chaos doesn’t have to be the baseline.

Dr. Margaret Paul

No. So, you know, one of the things I’d like to do is I’d like to share with people where these parts of us are in our brain.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Okay.

Dr. Margaret Paul

One of my friends is Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. She wrote a book called “My Stroke of Insight.” She had a stroke at 37. You can see her on YouTube. She’s amazing. And she wrote a book called “Whole Brain Living” where she’s a neuroscientist. And so when we talked about what she’s discovered about the brain and the parts of inner bonding, they just come together. And I was just so delighted because she said, wow, you discovered this 38 years ago that I’ve just discovered with neuroscience. So I’d like to share the parts of the brain where these parts of us live ’cause sometimes it’s helpful for people to understand it. She calls the four parts of the brain, the two upper parts and the two lower parts, characters. So she calls the upper left brain character one. We call this the male aspect of the adult because this is the action-oriented. Our left brain learns externally and takes action in the world. That’s the part of us that does that. Our lower left brain, like I said, is where the wounded self is. This is our instinct, our fight or flight instinct, and this is where all our fears and false beliefs get stored. 

Now, imagine that the actions of your upper left brain are being informed by the fears and false beliefs of your lower left brain. What happens? You see here’s where people get themselves in trouble. They can hurt themselves. They can hurt each other. They can hurt the planet. They’re coming from fear, from control, from false beliefs. And so when the upper left brain is being informed by the lower left brain, this is when we have chaos. That’s what was happening in your family and my family because they were operating… their actions were coming from their wounded self. Now the lower right brain is where our soul is. This is where our inner child lives in the brain. This is the part of us that needs nurturing, that needs attending to. Now what I learned from her, which was amazing, the upper right brain, she calls this character one, character two, character three, character four. We call the upper right brain the feminine aspect of the loving adult. And what she discovered is that the upper right brain is naturally capable of opening to our higher guidance. It’s built into us.

Dr. Sharon Stills

I love that.

Dr. Margaret Paul

You know, a lot of us lose it because I wasn’t taught anything like that. I was taught to ignore what I knew. You know, I didn’t know anything, they did. I didn’t. What I felt wasn’t real. I mean, my mother, her favorite phrase was don’t be ridiculous.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Hmm.

Dr. Margaret Paul

So I learned to not connect. I had to relearn how to connect to that higher part. Now, when we relearn that, and we start to connect to our source of truth, and the actions of our left brain are being informed by our higher self that’s when everything changes.

Dr. Sharon Stills

It’s a whole different life.

Dr. Margaret Paul

It’s a whole different life. And this part can nurture our inner child. Bring the love down inside, in the body, to our inner child. Well, just see what’s happening on our planet. I mean, all the problems on our planet, the climate change, the racism, the sexism, the homophobia, everything, the violence. Everything is being caused by the lower left brain.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Mmm.

Dr. Margaret Paul

All of it.

Dr. Sharon Stills

And so your six part process helps to move you from the left to the right? Is that…

Dr. Margaret Paul

Helps to move you from being informed by your lower left brain and the actions that come from that to being informed by your higher right brain. What the six steps do is they bring new neural pathways. They develop new neural pathways in the brain. You actually develop new neural pathways for the loving adult.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Amazing. So is this something that you teach live or is this something women do on their own? Or how do women?

Dr. Margaret Paul

I do. I actually have a community where people can get on every other week for an hour and a half and I teach it live. I bring people through an inner bonding process. I talk on a topic, and then I do what I call laser facilitation ’cause I can work very fast, and I’ll work with a whole bunch of people with the inner bonding process so that people can see it. I help the person who I’m doing it with, but I also help everybody else because they see the process. And, of course, everybody’s got the same issues. So, when I work with people everybody benefits. And so that’s one way of learning live from me. I work with people individually. I have many trained facilitators. We have a fabulous facilitator training program, and we train people all over the world to do this work. So we have many, many trained facilitators who will work with people. I have many courses on the website, so people can take like my “Love Yourself” course which teaches inner bonding. It’s a 30 day video and email course. It’s very powerful in teaching inner bonding. I have a bunch of courses for relationships, for connecting with your guidance, for attracting your beloved, for discovering your passionate purpose. I have 12 published books now. And so there’s… There’s a lot of ways for people to learn inner bonding. If they don’t have the money for a course, they can get a book or they can go on the website. There’s a…

Dr. Sharon Stills

What is the website? Could you tell us what the website is?

Dr. Margaret Paul

It’s inner bonding.com.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Yeah. Of course, it is.

Dr. Margaret Paul

And there’s a free course there. And I’m gonna tell you about a free ebook that people can get on there that’s called “The Six Secrets to Profound Self-Love and Joyous Connection.” They can start to learn from the free ebook. They can go on the site and get our free course. There’s many ways of learning inner bonding.

Dr. Sharon Stills

What a gift you’ve got and are giving. And such an important topic that not only will help you with your menopause transition, but as you mentioned will help the world. The more we vibrate in love, the more it changes the outside. I always come from the perspective of if you wanna know what you’re thinking, just look around you and see what you’re manifesting. And so if we can come from love and as you say, it’s just opening to it. We don’t have to go find it. It already is us. So it’s such a powerful, potent reminder. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and your method with us and for being a part of the summit, for what I think is such an important piece. I love that you brought up food, and we always focus on our food, our exercise, our supplements, and these things are all important, but we have to be love, and then these things take on such a greater meaning and have such a deeper impact on us, so.

Dr. Margaret Paul

Well. And when you really see your beautiful essence, see, I used to be addicted to sugar and all the junk, but once I got to see my true self, my soul, I became very motivated to create a healthy body for my soul to live in. And so all the addictions went away, they just vanished, and it’s very easy for me to eat extremely well. I’m all organic, been all organic for 60 years. I don’t know anybody else who’s done that. But it used to be harder. And now it’s very, very easy because of inner bonding because I love my little girl. I want her to be healthy. I want her to have a healthy body to live her whole life in.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Mmm. Yes.

Dr. Margaret Paul

So it becomes easy to take care of ourselves.

Dr. Sharon Stills

Treat the vessel well. Well, I just adore you. Thank you so much for being here and being a part of this and sharing the love. So thank you everyone. I know I’m gonna listen to this interview again and again, and, now I’m like, we’re gonna finish, and then I’m gonna ask Margaret how I can become a facilitator. So we’ll be back with another interview, but I hope that you are able to obtain the summit so that you can listen to this again. And please go check out Margaret’s amazing website and all her resources. Until the next time be well, be love.