Opening on Parenting Leadership

I think the number one thing we can do is to step back into the leadership role. There has been a lot of talk in recent years, in the last 10 years about leading with the child in mind and really thinking about how the children feels.

And that is incredibly important. We can't discount that. But that you as the adult with a fully formed brain do know better. You know, better in terms of what a good bedtime is.

you know better in terms of what is healthful food. You know scientifically now that screens prior to five really should not be in existence to step back into your leadership role.

And when that child does push back, which they will, they're built to do so to stand steady in the fact that you are the adult and you best for your child.

Everything is connected and I'm here to tell you how. I am Dr. Laura Hanson with Connect My Brain. This podcast is for moms who are concerned about their child's development.

The brain impacts our mind, body, and overall health. I explain how your brain is wired, what happens when it's out of balance, and how early childhood development not only impacts your child but can affect you as an adult years later.

Want to know how to improve your life? Join me and learn about your amazing brain and what it can do for you. Hi everybody, it's Dr. Laura with Connect My Child's Brain.

But you know what I do, your brain connect my brain. I'm so glad that you're tuning in. And I am so excited about this interview. So I received a post from my daughter on Instagram, and I was immediately pulled in to Sharon's comments on, do we get good kids just because we're lucky?

Or is there more to it? So Sharon, thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. Why don't you introduce yourself, give us some of your background, and then we'll dive into some questions.

Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me, Dr. Hansen.

Introducing the Podcast and Guest

It's such a pleasure to be here. My name is Sharon Schwarz. I'll start with the fact that I'm a mom of two teens who are 15 and 16 years old, but I also have been a teacher for the last 23 years.

And I've taught everything from sixth through the 12th grade. And so over the years, starting back in 2001, you notice changes over time in the classroom with the way children are showing up in your classroom ready to learn.

You start noticing patterns and over two plus decades, You do notice some big differences and changes that have taken place in The parenting space and the changes That are taking place and The kids that are before you.

And so I started this parenting journey trying to create a framework for the classroom at first. That's where it started for better management and better learning outcomes for kids in my class.

And then it sort of morphed into a parenting framework that I created. So I'm curious, because I love talking about patterns too. What patterns did you start to notice were actually changing?

You know, I was thinking about this question and I think it was threefold. I thing the first thing was right now, especially after the pandemic and social media and kids on smartphones became so ubiquitous, we really started to see a change in just the affect of students.

Wow. A much lower affect, a lot less expression, less ability to communicate with words, more reliance on digital communication. And it started to really be noticeable in the classroom.

It manifested in what appeared just a lack of social skills. Greeting children in morning, which is, of course, any educator knows is best practice. Whereas 20 years ago, you would get most children to say, oh, good morning Ms.

Schwarz. Good morning. Hi. Hey, how are you? You'll be lucky to get any type of verbiage coming out. You will get maybe almost like a fearful look. Why are you talking to me?

And so that little interactions that happened between teacher and student really started to change. We also just started see differences in when you communicate with parents.

That was the biggest thing for me. I always joke with the teachers I work with that in the beginning of my career, if you did have to call home for a child's behavior, it was almost always supportive.

The parent would say, thank you so much for making me aware of this. I really appreciate the phone call. And that began to morph into more of a, well, let me talk to my child and get the full story.

This really doesn't sound like my childhood. I really can't imagine them doing this. And this is when multiple adults are expressing similar things. So that was another change, a bit of lack of parental support en masse.

You can read about this from coast to coast. Teachers are experiencing this and talking about it. And then the third thing was just how much the kids actually don't like the way they're growing up.

The kids are actually so communicative about how they don't like their phone. They don' want to be on their phones. They wish that they had grown up in the 80s or the 90s.

Classroom Changes and Digital Effects

And so it was really the first time I saw kids lamenting their own childhood. There's a word for it that I can't think, but it's nostalgia for a time period you never even lived through yourself.

Yes, yes. And it is like they'll watch Stranger Things and they say, wait, Ms. Schwarz, is it really true? Like in the 80s, you just rode your bikes everywhere.

You know, and you never heard kids talking like that 25 years ago. Yeah. Well, I love that part. So in my practice, and just even listening to you with like the digital devices.

So you have all these different areas in your brain, and they have to work together in timing. The need to talk is on the right, the work of talk, is in the left.

And digital device, phone, computer, whatever it is, it's ramping up the less side of the brain more than the right side of the brain. So if I'm creating an asymmetry, I am almost looking at conversations just too hard.

I don't want to engage in it. And then, of course, in the world of reflexes, children only have the extended library of how many years they've been on the planet.

When we're talking about You know kids in the sixth grade and up to 12th grade. That's all they've been here So they don't have those experiences just like you were saying that they were going I almost wish I grew up in a different time Where I'm sitting here going, you know, I am 65 years old And I've seen so much and I'm grateful because I can adapt, but I cannot imagine not being able to ride my bicycle.

I rode my bicycles everywhere. You know, I find this conversation very interesting, especially about the heart of a child. Even saying, wow, is that what everybody did?

Everybody rode their bikes. That's just, that's incredible. Well, you've got a niche. You really talk a lot about this authoritative parenting and I really would love for you to kind of define that for my audience because initially you might think you're just talking about authority in a negative context and that's not it at all.

Would you give us some thoughts on that? Yeah, I always say it's almost a shame that the original research about this chose two terms that were so similar.

So you have authoritative parenting, which is what we like. It's very high expectations, very, high accountability, but mixed with very. High warmth, Very high affection, But then you have what I think a lot of people mistake it for, which is authoritarian.

So you also in that have very high expectations, but you had very low warmth. You have various severe consequences and punishments for failure to meet those standards of your parents.

And that's not what this is at all. It is the idea that two things can be true at once. We can have a very expectations for whether it's our students or our children.

So long as we're also coupling that with enthusiastic engagement in their own lives with the supports that they need and with a lot of just plain love and affection and time spent with them.

I think it's something that's really been mixed up. I've been in practice for 30 years, and some of the stuff that I have seen over the years and, you know, some groups coming out with, this is the way you should parent, This is The Way You Should Parent and really the journey of development hasn't really changed.

Children need that structure. I can remember I had a little boy in the office and I came out, mom was with him and i said, oh hi guys, how you doing? I'm just a bit behind and ill be with you in just minute.

And they both just looked So sad. And I said, Hey, is everything okay? And she said her son's name and then she went, he's upset because you're running late.

I just went. Well, I'm sorry. And knowing what I know about the brain, the Brain is going everywhere at this time. It's shaping, it's forming, and brains need that structure and guidance so that they can learn how to go into new environments.

how to handle things, and then move up a notch when it's time to learn how go into the classroom, then how mix with friends. I think there's been so many different, let's parent this way, that way.

And I can understand how some young mothers might feel very confused. What can we do to really explain this?

Authoritative Parenting vs. Authoritarian

Let's give a few examples that we can help moms really understand what structure we're trying to offer. I think you bring up the greatest point about mothers being truly confused by the insane amount of information that's available.

And I'd think the best place to start, and you'll probably appreciate this given your profession, is the science of learning or the Science of Child Development and the research.

Because we have people kind of just talking about things that sound very nice. but they don't actually work because they're not rooted in the way a child's brain learns things.

So if we just take a step back, there's a refrain I hear in comments that on my social media disagree with what I'm saying. And the comment I see the most is, you can't say that this is the right way to parent because not everything works with every child.

And what I say to that is, that's true. Children are all different. There's nuance involved in how we raise our children. But what say that, is there are physiological things about being a human and growing as a humans that are constant for all humans.

And the first one that you noted is why my framework starts with the letter R, it's raised, and it literally starts, with routines and rhythms. Honoring a child's circadian rhythm, honoring the child need for sleep, absolutely, there is no child that doesn't need a certain amount of sleep.

There's no children that really benefit from rhythms to their life, to rhythms in the day. We even see this in special education. Some of the most kids that I serve who are neurodivergent, they benefit the most from routines and rhythms being a part of their life.

So that's where I would start. I will take a step back and say, we have a wealth of science and research to show us how kids learn and to dive more into that than just how we think kids learned or we feel kids learning.

Well, I think it's almost like a double-edged sword. Everybody is really stressed out. I don't think they have margins. And I always talk about margins, remember loose leaf paper and the two red lines on the left, that's your margin.

You can't go right on other side. I feel like everybody is to the edge. When we as the parent or the adult or caregiver, when we don' have margin ourselves, it's very easy and you become susceptible that you can't really handle a lot of things.

And none of this is meant as criticism. It's really meant to put an olive leaf out. Let's just kind of step back and try to give you some support so that this can get better.

But if mom and dad are stressed out, you are going to have a stressed child. There's just no question about it, and there is no other way for the child to go because you're role modeling that.

And the subconscious mind, which I love working in, is created at the end of pregnancy up until about seven and a half, eight and half. So that is that saying, the acorn doesn't fall too far from the tree.

That is a very true, real statement because the way our lives are, we are guiding our children along with us. And if we're always on our cell phone, they're going to see it as, I should have a cellphone and I shouldn't be able to be on a cellphone.

I sometimes think of myself a little bit too much as a stalker when I'm out in public, especially having dinner. And there's a two year old with a monitor with colored frame.

I mean, like set up, we're going to entertain you while we are together. When this is the opportunity for that little one to engage in eye contact, watch what's going on in the dynamics.

And just a couple of Sundays ago, there was a table full of adults, probably six of them, and a little baby. And all of a sudden, you just hear this baby crying.

was on their phone. Nobody was engaged with the child. And there's actual research that talks about that child is actually now tried what they could, didn't get any reaction.

Now my nervous system is all dysregulated and I don't know what to do. So I'm going to scream. You see the patterns happening. What do you think? I absolutely agree.

And then to add a layer to when children are exposed to that level of, I call it dopamine drenching, they're living in an environment of being drenched in dopamine.

So then when they go to learn things without a bell and a whistle and an avatar and light up screen and little sound, it doesn't feel good.

Routines, Rhythms, and Brain Development

they're losing that feeling of, oh, I learned something and it felt good because I got a pat on the back or a good job. Because that good a job, that pat, on back that little gold star doesn't compare to this box that they've been staring into that rewards them so heavily.

And, you know, those things, too, they reward children every single step of the way. The second they tap, there's a reward. They haven't even accomplished anything, and there is often a award.

Never mind what it does to their affect, to the ability to communicate, as you're saying. And I think it's sad. We see the same thing when we go out and, I actually started this parenting journey because I remember when had our children.

It was almost like dating when we were meeting other parents. Is this gonna be a compatible relationship? If we go out to dinner with you, are you going to bring the iPad or are gonna bring some coloring books?

if I go over your house, Are you gonna just let the kids have screens for the play date? Because that's not a playdate in my opinion. Let's have them actually play.

And it was a process trying to find and it's why I started this social media. It with extremely difficult to my parents who were aligned in that respect.

I can really appreciate that and we can kind of take a step back too and think about, I think some of these things about the physicality. That's one of the big things that I've really noticed is kids have no endurance anymore to be physical.

This is a very physical program here at Connect My Brain. We do aerobics, they learn about their target heart rate. They are going to do what we call the fantastic seven core exercises to get that trunk stable.

And then we have all these body weights, but we really have to work with them to build up the endurance. There are five categories to looking at a child.

Gross motor, fine motor. social communication and adaptation. The cost is in that adaptation because they are trying to adapt, but it's coming at a cost because it can't do the typical things that you would expect a child to do.

I constantly use the matching game. When I'm trying to explain something to a child, you should be able to do this. You know when you play the match game and you turn over the card and it's a duck?

And then you turn over another card and it's a cow, but that doesn't match. You telling me how tired you are doesn' match, so there's many pieces to that.

I think schools have taken away a lot of the physical part. i couldn't even remember, I can't remember when this happened, But like you weren't allowed to play red rover, red Rover.

That's been removed. Right? And then what about the food? You know, these kids are eating like Lego my ego in the morning and they are literally carbo crashing within 45 minutes of going to school.

And, then you start scrolling and like you said, you get the dopamine hit and that is really disrupting how their brains are coming online. You, know it's a sequence of events.

You come into this world fully formed, but you are not fully functioning. You're in your brain stem. And then the back of the brain, where the visual cortex is, ready to go.

Then you should be getting the right side up, then left side created by the left, and then you've got this whole human. But it's not happening that way.

It's so funny that you just bring this up because right next to me, I'm actually gonna show it to you because you've just brought it up. And I was filming earlier a video for this company, but it's funny because it is exactly what you're talking about.

You're taking about it more like the body and the bodies not having endurance. What we're finding now in schools is that it crystal clear that when we write information and we right notes and touch paper and manipulate our information, we retain it so much better.

And what they're finding in kindergarten is kindergarten readiness is really decreasing, and specifically a child's ability to hold even a crayon, to even begin the writing process.

So I was here, let me get this real quick. When you talk about toys and you talked about screens, you know, if a children has a screen in front of them, they are tapping and they swiping.

They are just tapping, swipping. Right, and then meanwhile, you remember toys like this with like a peg puzzle. This is for a two year old, this is an 18 month old but you don't realize that this child has to take their hand.

They have to grip this tiny little wood peg, they have open it up, then they like shove it in this thing. this all actually creating the musculature necessary for the child to eventually learn how to write.

And so kindergarten teachers, they're saying now, you know, forget the ABCs, Forget the 123s. Forget colors, for get shaped. I don't need your child to know anything.

Just please play Play-Doh with them. Let them squeeze things. Because I am starting three months prior just trying to do hand exercises. for children to be able to hold a writing utensil.

That is how far the impact has been with this digital drenching that we're doing with our children today. I love the term digital, drenching. that's very good.

Are you familiar with the homunculus? No. Oh, you're going to love this. Okay. So just when you have a chance, Google homunculus, H-O-M-U-N-C- U-L-S.

Screens, Dopamine, and Physical Play

And it literally is the sensory motor strip. It will show you how the whole body is mapped out on that strip. And if you look at it, the largest parts of the body have the greatest influences.

Then they've even updated it to show how it's influencing bringing the circuits together. The biggest is the face, and that's mirror neurons, that eye contact.

Like you said, they're not even looking at us anymore. eye contact, right? And then the next big thing is the hands. So these kids that are not crawling, these kid that only doing the tapping, they're not using a part of their brain that is expecting that feedback in order to build it.

I talk about this all the time. We've got to get back into the basic skills that the body should be able to do. You know, you think about if you and I were to walk into right now a traditionally set up playroom with traditional toddler toys and watch the children play, it's an interesting thing.

Children will often play let's say with a puzzle like that in a squat position. with their butt just off the ground and leaned over. These are all things that are building the child's body.

If you have those stacking or nesting boxes from large to small, that child will bend over and over again. People are not recognizing that when we fail to play with toys like this with our kids, we're missing an opportunity for these neural pathways to take shape.

And after the age of five, it's not like it gets too late, but you have missed a critical opportunity for the greatest growth the brain will go through ever in development.

You can make a change, But it is so much harder. Absolutely. Your goal is to know this from the beginning. Right. And bicycle riding, you think about how many things you Have to do to ride a bike.

You have to be able to sit on the seat, you have be to able balance, to have able grip, look, see, hear. Your foot on one side is going down while the other one is pulling it up.

There are so many things that are going on and that shows a beautiful picture. of circuits coming together in the brain, right? And I'm just so grateful that there's somebody else out there that feels as passionate about this as I do.

Well, now let's go through. I saw a couple of other questions I wanted to ask. You worked with thousands of children over your career. What have they taught you about what kids truly need in order to become capable, confident adults.

I love that. Thank you. I think it's ironically the opposite of what many of us think they think, they need, if that makes sense. We often think and in schools, you'll see this happen.

And I work with a lot of pre-service teachers and many first year teachers, second year, third year. They go through the same pattern where first they come in and they want to be the cool teacher and everybody's friend and like, oh, it' cool.

Like as long as you do your work, we're good. And every first-year teacher realizes very quickly that that does not work. Everything devolves. So then you come back the second year and you're like, that's never happening again.

You're, like these are the rules and listen to me and sit down and I don't want to hear it. And you like over-correct. Then somewhere around year five, you start realizing that there's a happy medium.

What children really want and when their nervous systems can relax enough to learn is they love predictability. They love actually knowing what are the rules here, what the guardrails are, and what is okay and not okay.

When an adult, even when the adult holds them accountable, to something they did that actually builds trust in that adult, meaning she actually really means what she says.

And many teens especially find that refreshing and actually calming. Yeah. Many kids, they just want to feel capable. And so I kind of made up a word years ago, and it was fasciculation, which is facilitated manipulation, but in a good way.

So let's say you have a child in front of you. Listen, between you and me, their writing at a second grade level and they're in eighth grade. Their writing is absolutely ridiculously awful, And they have far, long way to go.

If you come to that child with, oh, you know what, this is going to be great. This topic is right up your alley. I cannot wait to see what you write. And no matter what they write, starting wherever they are, children just want to feel like they can.

When an adult believes in them, the extent to which they will surprise you with how hard they're willing to work for someone who believes in them is an incredible thing.

We really don't give kids the credit that they deserve. Many of them truly want to be capable, they want do more, but they do need a self-belief. They need someone to say, yes, you can, I believe in you.

It sounds so corny, But I think we need to bring corney back. I always say that too. Let's bring Cody back. Like, yes, you can be a cheerleader for these kids.

They want to be held accountable. they want high expectations. Well, I have a saying that when they do something really good, wow, And I said, Dr. Hanson, it takes a lot to dazzle Dr Hansen, but you have dazzled me.

One of the things that I've noticed in all the assessments that have done, or just working with him, so many kids are saying, oh, did I do it wrong? I didn't do a good job.

Did I? You know, that just breaks my heart that at this age, you already feel defeated. And, you know, we got to talk about that stamina, and so our language here is you don't do anything wrong.

This is your gym. We are your coaches. we're here to help you cross the finish line. Whatever that goal is, We're going to Help you Cross the Finish Line so that you can do it and you Can feel good about it.

Building Skills Through Toys and Movement

And it is it's a balance. But we also have a very high expectation. Parents are bringing their children here. They're paying for their services I believe in giving people the best value that I can possibly give them So we have to also deliver so we to do our part and they have do their part And we bring that structure in so that everybody can be accomplished and I'll tell you the greatest thing one little boy really struggled with manners, really struggle with thinking he should be able to do everything he wants to when he want to it.

And as that has been broken, and I look at it, I'm not a psychologist, but it's about what's going on in the brain that's giving that feedback to that person to think that they need to regulate everything to be in their control.

so that they can be okay. So many of the things that we call behaviors have a lot to do with how that brain actually got turned on. And over time, the greatest gift, that same little boy, as things came together for him, every time he walks in here, he runs in there and gives me a big hug.

That's so sweet. Right? But they feel safe. You brought me to safety. Right? It's funny. Sometimes I think the best compliment you can get as an educator are those little things you hear like, she's so strict, but she is really nice.

or, you know, or she's so, that class is so hard, but like, she really loves us, it's those things. And every year I often just get on my team, the kids that are having a hard time and they're not thriving in the school.

It's always a little bit of an adjustment period when they get to a class that has these types of expectations. But I'll tell you, year in and year out, that's the thing that shifts the focus for them.

Because when the child's nervous system can relax because the environment is calm and predictable, even if those expectations are high and they struggle to meet them at first, That's when you actually do start to see major behavioral change.

Sharon, I love how you keep bringing the term nervous system back into our conversation because that's exactly what it is and it's about regulating that.

And to me, what's in my heart, What's my goal is allowing them one, to be able to come together and feel good. have a childhood, not end up in therapies all over the place, especially in Atlanta, and to be able to then head towards adulthood and be to handle all the things that adults have to go through.

I mean, right now, our young adults in their 20s This is a market that is so hard for them to find jobs, to think about their futures. If we don't equip our kids to be able to strong, be to able think, regulate, life can sometimes throw you a few curveballs.

Absolutely. I have a few friends who are in the therapy space and they do talk about when they're working with young adults that they are noting just a struggle for basic life events, just kind of getting life started, doing the adult things that adults do, and a lot of it is because I think Jonathan Haidt talks a lot about this.

They're so coddled all the way up and through that there's almost like a throwing out of the nest rather than a gradual baby steps that start when they're five being able to do small things on their own.

And instead it's like this adult life comes crashing down on them and they are expected to just begin without that gradual scaffolding that most of us need in order to transition successfully.

Absolutely. It's like that movie Failure to Launch, right? Yes, it is. As I am so big on, you know, as soon as your toddler can lay out those toys, they can also pick them up.

Yes. And your six-year-old can go around and empty the bathroom trashes and give them, 50 cents. Don't give him $10, but give me 50 cent. Create the bank, show how we can save, how can tithe, have a little spending money.

You're right, it is supposed to be this gradual progression to teach them the likings of living. And you know, this summer has been an interesting one for me because both of my boys are now 15 and 16. And so we discussed as a family that you would get a part-time job in the summer once you turned 15 or 16, it was just the standard that we had so that they could learn things from punctuality to working for someone, to work with others, et cetera, and to start saving a bit for whether they're going to have car in the future or college, whatever it might be.

And I can't tell you how many parents in discussions with them, oh, really, like your kids are, where are they working? Oh, pizzeria. They're like, Oh you know, I just feel like they're only kids once, you give them this summer, they are only going to be 15 once.

Why make them work? As though the working the way they were talking about the 15 or 20 hours a week that my child goes to a pizzeria was like some torturous event and I think that children are really absorbing that message I talk a lot about this that.

Work is a part of life.

Confidence, Accountability, and Nervous System Safety

And if we teach our children that work is something to bemoan, we're effectively teaching them to the extraordinarily miserable for the rest of their life because most of us are going to work five days a week.

Most of them coming home to do more work in our house. If we can't skew that at least slightly positive, the entire way we look at our life just turns.

And I think that's one of the greatest disservices we can do to equate for our children that hard work is something bad. I really think I can't agree more with you, especially because if they're not engaging in the typical things that are going to make you a whole person, then where are they spending their time?

And traditionally, it's going to be on their cell phones. They already have cellphones. And they're scrolling. I don't think people really get how damaging this is to dopamine, this reward neurotransmitter in your brain.

You have a threshold. And if you're constantly popping it up and it has to constantly keep working back to your baseline, it drives you to do more. And our kids are ending up with pornography and gambling and even excessive shopping online.

I've actually witnessed this. i had a young man coming in for neurofeedback in my office right in that direction, our windows, and I saw him dropped off and i saw them go to the door and was waiting for the bell to go off.

He's opening the doors and then I'm going Wait a minute, he didn't come in. So I go outside and he, I don't even know how he got past my window without me seeing him, unless he went around back and went next door.

He was sitting on the bench scrolling. And he made, He's acting as in front of his parent that I'm doing what you asked me to do. I am going into my appointment.

But he's not. So he is living a life where he already being sneaky and not telling the truth. And these things don't just magically go away. and they can become greater and bigger.

I think something with when we talk about the cell phone too, specifically on the scrolling, we have to start remembering that we are the ones who buy that subscription, that it is not our child's phone, it's ours, and their use of it should be honestly monitored completely by us and I often will talk to parents if their child is struggling and i'll just ask them before we even talk about anything.

Do they have that phone in their room at night? Are you using screen controls? The latest data is showing that less than half of parents utilize screen controls for their child, which means that half of the children that you and I are interacting with have absolutely unfettered access to the internet at all times.

That should terrify us. It should. And so that's your baseline. There's almost no other modification or strategy that we need to talk about if your child has unfetered to access the Internet via a smartphone.

That has to be the starting point. And it's a powerful thing. You know, my husband and I joke, thank God, because frankly, when our children have needed consequences, it is a very effective consequence to remove their hour of screen time.

They enjoy it as they should, as do I. I love going on Instagram and looking at recipes, you know. But it s a tool for parents that we can use. It is something our Children love and we could leverage that for the kinds of expectations and behavior we want to see.

Well, I gotta tell you, we are just absolutely on the same page. I see it, you see. So we'll wrap it up. Looking ahead, what do you hope your work contributes to the future of parenting?

And what legacy do hope to leave for the next generation of families? I really hope to quiet the confusion and possibly provide parents with an easy-to-remember framework that is rooted in the number one parenting practice that we have, which is authoritative parenting.

It has been studied for over 60 years. The findings have been replicated decades upon decades. to quiet that noise and to give parents the confidence to parent again in a way that is rooted in science.

That is my goal. Wow, I absolutely love that and I'm just going to top my hat off to that or lift my head off that I want parents to feel great about being parents.

You've been given this gift of this child and if it was meant to be the other way around, they'd be your parent.

Preparing Kids for Adulthood

but you're their parent and you have the best opportunity to raise amazing human beings that will contribute, thrive, be happy, and live their best lives.

So I'm just so grateful that I met you. Tell us, you have an organization, right? Well, I am building this as I go. As you know, full-time educator and mom.

This is my midlife mission now that my kids are not as needing me at all times. They're much more independent given their age. And so I will have a website up and live by Monday of next week.

It's called raised. it's a framework for parenting. I'll be offering one-to-one coaching and I am in the process of shopping my book, shopping an agent for representation of a book that I've written on this.

Well, you make sure that we get the link. Cause by the time this actually gets out, You will have your website up. And then once you get your book published, she let us know.

You know what? I'll have you come back and you can actually promote your. Okay. I would love that. Yes. Thank you. Absolutely do that absolutely. One last thing.

How can you help a parent? connected dot of some struggle their child is going through and maybe a different way to think about how you parent could really bring it together for them.

Right. But that you as the adult with a fully formed brain do know better, you know, better in terms of what a good bedtime is. you know better in terms of what is healthful food.

You know scientifically now that screens prior to five really should not be in existence to step back into your leadership role. And when that child does push back, which they will, they're built to do so to stand steady in the fact that you are the adult and you best for your child.

Oh Sharon, that's wonderful. Again, I completely agree. Well, thank you so much for being a podcast. I've really enjoyed this and we will definitely have you back.

Okay. All right. Sounds great. Everybody, so you know, go to the website connectmybrain.com. You can always schedule a complimentary consultation and I want you to go under how we help We have our shop live now and we have out parent kit and our professional kit.

The parent kid is to allow you to dip your toe in and begin to understand how Connect My Brain really works on regulating the stress response in your child.

The whole description is there, but you can always reach out if you have any questions. And as always, thanks for tuning in and be blessed. Thanks for listening.

I hope today's lesson will help you or someone you love. Do you a question or just really want to talk to somebody about brains? Connect with me over on Facebook or Instagram, at Connect My Brain.

Looking to understand and optimize your particular brain? Check out connectmybrain.com for course information and resources. See you next class.

Sharon Schwarz

Raising Capable Kids: Why Warmth and Boundaries Belong Together