208 – Toddler Behavior

Dr. Carole Keim explains all the toddler behavior you can expect at different ages between ages one and three. She goes through all main behavior and ability changes and gets to the heart of why toddlers are acting in the way they are. 

The more understanding you have of why children are behaving in a certain way, the easier it is to see things from their point of view. Dr. Keim offers tips and tricks for navigating the word no, the repeated question why, three year old defiance, and other notable toddler behaviors. It will be difficult, they tend to push all your buttons while learning boundaries, but Dr. Keim will make you feel more confident in your navigation. 

In this episode:

• 1-1.5 yo
• 1.5-2 yo
• 2 yo
• 3 yo
• Resources

1-1.5 yo  00:37

• Starting to be able to do things for themselves
• Just starting to walk/talk, can feed themselves
• Don’t have a lot of opinions/preferences yet 
• Stranger anxiety – most will stay within sight of a parent
• Fairly easy behavior
• Parents: this is an ideal time to take a parenting class together

1.5-2yo  07:03

• Can walk, use some words, pick things up off the floor / get things for themselves 
• Separation anxiety, strong attachment to parent – explores with a parent nearby
• Mimicking
• Want to try things for themselves, show off 
• Trying out their independence 
• Learn how to use the word “no”
• Advocate for themselves
• Most wants are actually needs
• Start having some opinions and preferences but can’t express them yet 
• Offer 2 suitable choices 
• Empathy

2yo  13:21

• Run / run away 
• Say no
• Like attention (any kind) – spend 10 mins/day in child-led play 
• Struggle with transitions, have no sense of time 
• Can understand sequence a little bit – when/then statements 
• Want to experience things for themselves – natural consequences 
• Empathy, choices still 

3yo  18:30

• Drama – know about emotion, how to tell stories, have very active imaginations, are egocentric 
• Start expressing a wide range of emotions 
• Understand that their actions impact others but don’t understand empathy/theory of mind yet 
• Ask “why?” repeatedly – attempt to connect 
• Test boundaries to see where they are
• Test consequences to look for cause-and-effect 
• See how much they can get away with (testing that you still love them)
• As above (when/then statements, natural consequences, empathy, choices) plus modeling how to handle anger/frustration, anger wheel of choice, logical consequences

This guide is all about toddlers and why they behave in the way they do. For additional tips and advice on babies and toddlers, follow Dr. Carole Keim on her TikTok and YouTube channels. Her book, “The Baby Manual”, covers the first year of baby life and is the subject of Season One of this podcast. Remember it is always okay to call your doctor or emergency services if you have concerns about your child’s health.   

Resources discussed in this episode:

• The Baby Manual (https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Manual-Ultimate-Guide-Parents/dp/1977608698/ref=sr_1_2?crid=37H1GELHZW5FJ&keywords=The+Baby+manual&qid=1643324113&sprefix=the+baby+manual%2Caps%2C118&sr=8-2) – Available on Amazon
• Subscribe to this podcast 
• Your Parenting Mojo (https://yourparentingmojo.com/) podcast by Jen Lumenlan 
• healthychildren.org (https://healthychildren.org/English/Pages/default.aspx)
• Love and Logic (https://www.loveandlogic.com/)
• Bringing Baby Home (https://www.gottman.com/professionals/training/bringing-baby-home/)
• Anger Wheel of Choice (http://www.insightfulparents.com/blog/positive-discipline-tool-card-5-anger-wheel-of-choice)

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Dr. Carole Keim MD: linktree (https://linktr.ee/drkeim) | tiktok (https://www.tiktok.com/@doctoratyourdoor) | instagram (https://www.instagram.com/doctoratyourdoor/)

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