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- Discover and embrace your desires, and learn how to communicate openly with your partner
- Navigate difficult conversations about intimacy with finesse, setting healthy limits, and asking thoughtful questions
- Maintain passion in monogamy by trying new experiences, sharing desires, and embracing change
- This video is part of the Solving Sexual Dysfunction Summit
Diane Mueller, ND, DAOM, LAc
Welcome to another episode on our sexual dysfunction summit. I’m your host and your libido doc, Dr. Diane Mueller. And in this particular mini-talk, I’m going to be talking about sensual communication. I’m going to give you five top things to consider when you’re talking to your partner. When you’re talking to your lover about sex. Sometimes these conversations can be very difficult because egos can get involved. Oftentimes, as humans, there is a very natural and beautiful desire to please our partner and to show up in our best sexual selves. Sometimes if we are asking our partner to make a change or we’re trying to ask something differently and we want something differently out of the sexual experience sometimes egos can get bruised and the conversation can go not as well as one would wish. So where do you start? How do you start having these conversations?
The first step is becoming honest with yourself, and this starts with really acknowledging when it comes to your sexual life when it comes to what you like, what turns you on, what doesn’t turn you on, and what are your yeses. What are your nos? What are your sometimes and what are your maybes? And one of the things we want to consider here is what you know, innately what turns you on, but also what is going to turn your partner on. Now, there are certain things or maybe certain things that might be huge turn-ons for your partner that just feel completely awful for you. And these are probably your nos, there are other things that might be not that interesting to you, but it’s not bothersome, it don’t cause any pain or discomfort. And, you know, it brings your partner great pleasure. Perhaps these are your sometimes, but the more you can be very clear on what you love, on what you hate, on what your fantasies are, and what your curiosities are like, maybe there’s something sexually that you have never tried that you thought about or your friends have told you about, or you heard on a podcast.