Be VicTORIEus Ep. 63

Book Launch and ACEs Introduction 0:00

Hey, you guys, it's me, Dr. Tori. My book is officially out. And yes, It is time to talk about ACEs. You guys can find the books everywhere. However, I would encourage you, guys to go to my website, bevictorious.com and place your order today. Yes. It's time. To talk. About ACE's. Let's go, y'all. Hello. Hello. Hello, you guys. It's me, Dr. Tori, coming back with another episode of Be Victorious. Now listen, it's been a minute since I've actually been on here. Of course, I'm extremely excited about our conference that's coming up.

April 23rd through the 25th, the DoubleTree-Hilton, Chicago, and Alsop, Illinois, we are coming. There are going to be authors, there's going be therapists, they are willing to the social workers, that is going the educators, their goings to coaches, theirs going doctors, thers going lawyers, theres going parents, thats going so many people here at this conference,

Conference Announcement and Guest Introductions 1:12

were extremely excited to bring awareness community and empowerment to the community. Now listen. There's been a lot going on since we have new officers that are in office. And I actually am excited about the conference, but a bit worried about what's going in today's society. I did a live and we were having a conversation and I love when people come and bring resources. When they brought the resources that they bought, guess what? The CDC actually has been impacted. Surprise, surprise. Not just people that are going through the different health issues and medical issues, but the new officers coming to defund everything.

I think it's worth a discussion. What do you think, Mar? You forgot to mention that I'll also be there at the conference as well. So we had that in there, but how you doing, Dr. Torrey? So you, are you saying that B Victoria's podcast is going to be their too? Yes, the Be Victorious podcast will be in the building. We'll do some live interviews and talking to people. So we'll definitely be live on the scene and talk to all the special people that are there. Now we want you in a place to be, but also if you can't be the place, we will obviously have videos and a lot of recaps and everything to show you what's happening at this awesome event.

Make sure you register now. Really, because again, I am so excited just about the fact that it's a conversation that needs to be had. Now, what do you think about what's going on? I'll be honest. I have to shout out your podcast because you actually had this conversation really with the new officers in office on your podcasts.

Concerns About the New Administration and CDC Information 3:24

So that kind of made me bring it up and want to bring you on. It's been a minute since it has been me and you having this conversations. Yeah. So the new administration, they have been causing havoc with a lot of things that they are trying to do. And we're a podcast that talks about people's mental health, their wellbeing, And I know for a lot of people, the news that we see daily coming from this new administration, it's stressful. And i've seen people say, hey listen, I need to protect my peace and they are I don't want to say turning a blind eye, but they are choosing to be very diligent about what they pay attention to.

And I saw something on social media where this is a strategy from those who are on that side. It is to overwhelm you. it is to get you to where you just say, listen, I'm not going to say anything. I know I am not gonna look at anything because when that happens, then things begin to slip through the cracks. So we have to be diligent. We have yes, turn off when it's time, but also be able to Make sure that we pay attention to things that are going to affect us. Now we're a podcast that talks about adverse childhood experiences and you've mentioned it several times that that's on the CDC website, which is something that this administration has decided that is not important and they want to control that information or whatever, whatever motive they have for that.

the information that people have been able to glean, meaning us as regular American citizens or doctors looking for guidance, all that has been removed or wiped. I'm not sure I haven't been to the website, but I understand that if it hasn't happened, it will be happening. So a lot of the powerful information, the research that you have done that we know that the CDC has, you know, had their eyes on and used to adjust what they put on there, it's gone away now, or will be going away. Now, I know there's some organizations like the American Medical Association, the Medical Associations for Black Doctors, they are doing daily updates on their YouTube to make sure that people are given the knowledge that they need to be given.

And honestly, Dr. Torrey, I think, you know, we ought to reach out to them and they need to talk to you about this because you, to me, have been at the forefront of making sure that this is brought to the light and you have increased awareness for so many people about every day I see something on social media or see some in the news where I say, that's ACEs and we need to address it. So there's hope, people. We don't want folks to become hopeless because when you become helpless, then it's just nothing else left to do.

But we're still in a fight and Dr. Tori is doing her best, not only with this conference, but with these podcasts and with her daily posts on our social to make sure people don' forget about ACE and how it affects us. I think what it is, is people are starting to realize that we're reverting back. Because when you think about it, the beginning of COVID, who was the president at that time? It was 45 who was now 47. Yeah, we won't say his name, so. Woo! And the reality of the situation is it had an impact on everybody.

It wouldn't matter what color you was, red or blue, black or white, in or out, We were all shut down. And you're meaning to tell me that that's exactly what's happening again? You know, and the fact that the matter is that this is ACES should be a bipartisan topic. It really is. When you look at the number of, we'll just say red states.

Why ACEs Awareness Matters Across Communities 7:48

who voted for the current administration, and you look at the population, a lot of those red states, I mean, they're people who come from impoverished conditions. And we've talked about it, that a lotta times, poverty, lack of resources, it leads to a outta the factors that creates ACEs. So by turning a blind eye to this, by shutting it down, not giving information, and not making the information available to people, it's hurting everybody. And it is not just people who are in blue states, people in red states.

It affects all of us. So it definitely is something that needs to be addressed and that's what we're doing right now. I am excited about the conference because we get that opportunity. I think it's more than a conference. It's not just awareness, seriously, just the people that we have already. You know what I mean? I'll give you an example. What I love about Dr. Adrienne Faulkner-White is she works. for the Department of Rehabilitation and Youth Services. So let's be clear, she's right on the forefront.

She's there. I remember talking to her in regards to the conference and her giving the approval was humbling to me, but she was there and it was around the time that they were doing the inauguration. You know, that's her place of employment. That's where she works at the time, but she has a job that she had to do. And luckily, we have her as someone that is going to come to the conference and have that conversation and advocate for what we know and what believe in. So grateful for those type of opportunities.

But what do you think about the ones, if they're cutting off letting people know about Updates. How are we going to get this information? Because I'll tell you, I haven't heard from anyone. It's kind of like shocking to me that all of this stuff is really happening again. So I've reverted back off of social media because of it. But we have a conference that we had to promote. What do you think about that for people that have ACEs that can't get used to that media. What do you think? How can we get this information out there?

So, and I talked about on my podcast, the man listens show how, you know, we are really going to have to put a focus on local, local government, community activism. And that's where you play a part in that, in terms of doing this podcast, doing the lunch and learns that you do, during the conference that your putting together. All the interviews that you do everything that your putting out there, this is going to be a resource for people who can't get it from their government. Now there's there some danger in that right because you know we know that, you have all good intentions, but there could be some people that are putting information out that that could been misguided right and that's why we have the government to try to make sure that.

information is vetted and things are put out that aren't going to be misinformation.

Local Advocacy and Sharing Reliable Information 11:24

But I would say that we need to keep, we can't get discouraged. That's one thing we cannot do. For each one of us, you know, We have our own mission, right? We our our ministry. And I've always said ACES has been your ministry, it's your Ministry is your baby. So if it is somebody out here who was an ambassador for ACEs or somebody who wants to carry that torch because Dr. Tory can do it all, Obviously, I would say that you need to be able to speak up to your local officials. Speak to you state representatives, speak to city officials and say, hey, listen, this is something that needs to addressed.

How can we bring this to the forefront for our community? How can we get funding so that we can get this information out to people that need it, to the schools? Because they're attacking all types of messaging that is being sent to our students. You can't talk about certain cultures. you can teach about things because they want to be able to change the history. They don't want make people feel bad. But like we said, this is a bipartisan thing. This is something that affects people who are black, white, whatever.

And if we can't talk about this, protecting our children, making better adults, then we're really in trouble. So absolutely, I think this is some that we need to turn to something local and continue to go from there. We can do that. I thank for the issue, honestly, is the fact that this me. What I've ran to within the conference is you have a lot of people out there. A lot people that wanna advocate, that can't advocate or don't know how to advocate. I'll give you an example. There've been a lotta people who have been interested in the Conference, but everybody's not really ready to have that conversation.

And we've had to let people know that, no, you can't speak because you cant. Like, I'll give you an example. Everybody's not ready for a speaking engagement or a Speaking opportunity because You can spill the wrong information out there. and I think people confuse opinion with expertise. And I say that to say, when you're dealing with a conversation, especially when your dealing a with conversation in regards to ACEs, the information is out there, but the message has to be that. So, I'm trying to say it is as honest as I can.

Everybody's not ready to deliver the message. They don't know what they talking about. Yeah, there's people who could be advocates. There's People that can talk about, you know, that could Be advocates that people that Could talk About hey how this is impacting me. And that's probably, You know better for one-off discussions, but to be able to give somebody a platform who isn't ready to necessarily talk about these things. I think it would be detrimental to the people who are coming to, coming, to come into the conference or just coming into any type of discussion and to disallow that, that type information to go out.

You can't just get in front of anywhere in in-front of any organization, any type of mission without some type training on how to speak to folks and because what happens if you just spill out all the adversity that you went through. But then you're not able to also connect the dots or how you use this.

Conference Speaker Vetting and Trauma-Informed Messaging 15:36

You recognize it and then, you built from there. And I saw this woman on social media. She's been making rounds lately because she's put out some pretty provocative Instagram reels and maybe we can get her on the show. And she is a certified therapist. Her name is Raquel Hopkins. So she talks about some of the toxic things that have been happening with mental health lately. One of things she talked about is how people are using the labels that they have in terms of like, oh, you know, this is my attachment style or, um, I have ADHD and they're using that to define themselves and as their brand, like hi, and I'm Marvin and have aces.

And no, that's not what it is, right? It's supposed to be, okay, this is what I'm dealing with. And then this what need to address to a better person. Right? So, and there's a level of healing that you need have gone through before you can really talk to people about that. Because otherwise, you're just spilling your trauma on folks and it's really not beneficial to anybody. Maybe beneficial to you because you're getting off your chest, but more than likely what's happening, and I'm going to go ahead and give a shout out to my homegirl, Dr.

Christina Slaughter Jones. What you are doing is you just sprinkling your trauma dust on everybody. And that trauma does may trigger someone else and it may make somebody else like, I don't want to hear that stuff no more. So yeah, we definitely have to be careful about who we give the platform to. I'm just saying because it's hard. I think for me, because I am on social media now, I notice it a lot more. And they're on there. This was not my life from the beginning, not to say that it needs to be now, but in order to get the message out, it's a great thing.

But people need to understand this conference is seriously Awareness not opportunity for you to gain likes, and I think that is what I've ran into. And so you have a committee you had a board you'd have all of these people that are looking and it's hard to kind of determine, but because I'm an educator. Because I'm a doctor, it's easy to determine. Ladies and gentlemen, chat GPT is real, but it is so common and everybody is using it and you can't just fill in answers. I use it too, let's be clear, and think that that's going to be your reason.

People are going research you. The fun thing about it when giving my information to Dr. Nadine Burke Harris-Crew is They looked for it. They were ready. It was like, yeah, we did our research on you already. So understand people when you are requesting that information in regards to conferences and speaking engagements and things like that. I'm a researcher and it may get past the planning committee, it make it past award. But when it gets to me trust and believe this is my livelihood be victorious foundation is something that I have been planning and dreaming about for years.

So, with it being a conference that is sponsored by the victorious Foundation that This is people's livelihoods out here. We're really here to have the conversation about ACEs. And we cannot have people that don't have that in mind. So I think that's what it is. I thank everybody for having the patience. But when it comes time for the speakers to understand, these are people who know about ACES. These are the people ready to get the conversations. They're ready pour out into the community. I'll give a shout out, since you gave shouts out.

I met a young lady that is getting her doctorate degree in May from governor's state. Her name is Megan Sims. When I talked to her today, she poured into me so quick. You'll definitely have to meet her. She's not only getting a master's degree, but she's using her ACEs. And she shouted it out and said, oh, and by the way, my ACE score is an eight. We're going to meet her. I'm excited that we're bringing the podcast back because that's one opportunity that can actually have where we are sitting and having a conversation with someone that is actually making an impact in the Chicagoland community because it's exactly what she's doing.

So surprise, surprise you guys. There are going be people that are already making the impact. that are going to be at this conference.

Health and Wellness Expo and Conference Resources 20:36

We actually have a health and wellness expo, where there's going be plenty of vendors. And no, I'm not talking about the people that make purses. I am talking people who are there to talk about health, and, wellness. No say to the person who made purse, but this is not that type. I mean, you're going to just be sitting there. I want those people to come, and I wanted them to get involved, but I also want people know there's different types of therapy that's available and that are out there, that nothing's wrong with therapy, so there are going be different kinds of resources that will be available for people.

That's the great thing about a health and wellness expo. it's the awareness that we're interested in doing in the community. That's what I would say in regards to updates and things that are going on and the impact that is happening in 2025. We need this conference. we need a huge space where we can have this conversation about what's going in today's society. If it is already 2025 and we are already going through this, We've got four years. Yeah. So, you know, first of all, shout out to you for being diligent and for guarding the door.

Thank you. What people should take from what she just said is, when you register for this conference, trust and believe that the people that are going to be giving you information have been thoroughly vetted. they're gonna be on point. And we're also gonna have vendors who are going to be able to give resources to you, because we wanna make sure that people leave better than how they arrived. Now we can fix your problems, right? But hopefully we could connect you to resources, connect to people who can help you start that path to healing and to addressing your ACEs and your mental health.

very good. And with that, I will say we have A wonderful conference plan for you guys. So go ahead. Everything is available. You can go to be victorious.com. We also have a community on mighty networks. you. Guys can find those valuable resources there. we're going to continue to make announcements of people we want to. Continue to talk about the conference we are going. To continue. to do a lot of things again. The conference is April 23rd of the 25th. in Chicago. It's at the DoubleTree Hilton in Osip.

We look forward to you guys coming. Any questions or concerns? Again, see us, bevictorious.com. With that being said, Marv, do you have anything you want to add or anything that you wanna share? I mean, that's it. I'm looking forward seeing everybody at The Conference. Looking forward see more people step forward, to be on the podcast and we continue to you know, continue this mission that we started.

Closing Details and Final Call to Attend 23:36

Make sure you go to my social media. Go to At Man Listens Show on Instagram and Facebook, and you can also follow us on YouTube. Click that bell icon so you could be notified of, you now, when we put out new episodes, we talk about current topics and, Aces has come up a lot on the show because obviously, I helped Dr. Tory put this show out there, but when talk Things that have impact the black community and my show talks about issues that affect the Black community. A lot of that either deals with aces or the root cause is acing.

So you're going to see a lot information, you know that I've learned from this show on my showed the man listen show. So we look forward just to seeing you all. And make sure you click that bell icon for Be Victorious here on YouTube, so you can be notified when we come out with a new episode. That's it. We're going to see you in Chicago. It's cold right now, but hopefully, April should be a little bit warmer. So- We going bring that with us. Well, it's kind of tricky in chicago, come on through, just bring your coat, your suitcase, and we'll be all right.

All right, you guys. Take care.