Be VicTORIEus Ep. 65

Book Launch and ACEs Introduction 0:00

Hey, you guys, it's me, Dr. Tori. My book is officially out. And yes, It is time to talk about ACEs. You guys can find the books everywhere. However, I would encourage you, guys to go to my website, bevictorious.com and place your order today. Yes. It's time. To talk. About ACE's. Let's go, y'all. Hello. Hello, you guys. Welcome to another episode of Be Victorious. It is 2025, guys, and I had to start the year off with this young lady. When I tell you she came in and reminded me of Dr. Nadine Burke Harris for my Be Victoria Chicago experience.

It was an amazing thing to see. Shout out to Chicago, who not only represented but supported me tremendously. That was where I had my first conference. Now, what people don't know is I've been working with this young lady for a very, very very long time. And it's my pleasure actually to have her here. So Kim, if you're here, let the people know who you are because this red dress let me share. It was an amazing thing to see. Hello, isn't she beautiful you guys. I have to introduce you, guys to camera she's my lead aces ambassador, and I chose her.

Because when I mean she represents what our organization is founded upon.

Meet Cameron Brown and Her Research Background 1:56

She is now this young lady. It's back home in Chicago, but before Chicago she was the one that I was always talking about. She was a John Hopkins university and she actually was there doing research. And so could you tell us a little bit more about that? Sure. So my name is Cameron Brown. I'm the lead ACEs ambassador for the B. Victorious Foundation. And like Dr. Torrey said, I previously worked at Johns Hopkins in the geriatric and gerontology division. For those who don't know, that's older people medicine.

and I did a lot of Alzheimer's research and community engaged research as well with older adults living in subsidized housing. And I worked there for a year, did a lot of great groundbreaking research with many of our physicians, and then I decided to move back home and I now work at UIC for the Institute of Juvenile Research in the Department of Psychiatry. Interesting. Congratulations. Now, of course, this is impromptu, you guys. So as you all know, This is what we do and this how we record. And so she doesn't get the ACES questions like you, guys, we're just going to go off of just us and the experiences we've had over the past couple of months.

But before we get to that, I got a few questions. Of course you know about ACEs. When did you find out about it? Um, I would like to say maybe when I was 13, i was aware of childhood trauma, but I, was where it being actually aces, like when i 17, 18. Okay. Was it a class? What was it? It was really through kind of getting connected to you as I was exiting high school, going into college. I really became aware of like, oh, so this is ASIS. But I always knew about childhood trauma, but I never knew its clinical term.

Right. And I think that's the thing. Everybody like, oh, yeah, I heard about it. I just didn't know what it was. Yeah, that makes sense. So this is you said leaving for high school. Did you go to college? I did. I stayed and took care of my grandmother who was battling Alzheimer's dementia and breast cancer. And shortly after she unfortunately lost her battle, I then was kind of just like I need to be somewhere completely new. So I went away for school. I. Went to the illustrious Morgan State University and I also went to Towson University.

Both are in Maryland. so I had my HBCU and PWI experience. Cool. Now. You went from there, you graduated with your degree, and now you have this thing about ACEs. Why? Because ACE's impacts us a lot more than we think, down to our literal biological makeup outwardly, to how we communicate with people, how you receive information from people how, we receive media, how we consume media and what media we're drawn to and all those sort of inner workings and it aligns directly with the work I do now at UIC.

Chicago Launch and Adult ACEs Conversations 5:38

We are working on research that is purely ACEs centered. It's about community activism, how their community affects their learning, and how the environment affects they're learning. What they like to change about it. If they've never been engaged, why they aren't engaged. what is an obstacle in their engagement. And just overall how they are sort of impacting them as high school youth. And if y'all want to know why I got a foundation, this is why, honey, she is out here doing this research and it makes me so proud.

Let's be clear. Because again, like I told you guys, there's no script here. We're just having this conversation because these are the conversations that they're really needed, especially in our community. And you have people out there that are actually doing that. And here she is. So congratulations because this is actually really a big deal. You got a chance to go on this wonderful experience with me. What do you think? How was the Chicago experience? The Chicago was amazing. That was my first time facilitating a book launch.

I've always been in public speaking. Always been a mental health advocate. Did it a lot on my college campuses. Moving to a more professional space doing it was definitely like I'm very thankful for the opportunity that you gave me. And it was also really fun and interesting to talk to the adult demographic about ACES because I think so often we're like, okay, let's get to The Root and talk the kids about it so that we could just, they don't have to be adults that have the conversation when adults, that they weren't the kid that were targeted to have this conversation with.

So we have also we have to reach them where they are as well. So it was really interesting seeing people be vulnerable in the open space, especially in black community where it's kind of been conditioned and indoctrinated to suppress that sort of expression. It was a very beautiful experience. And then you had to go away because you needed to see what was going on in Dallas too. Why? I have never told you that For me, you were already lead, period. You've been doing this. People don't understand we've done this quite a while.

So, mentorship has always been real to me. I don't think people understand that you're fuel to me because you believe that I can do these things. Like it's you, like you trust me to do things, and I say from the people that have mentored, I think they all can say that same thing. So I take mentorship very seriously. I do, as you can see. And unfortunately she's still with me, so obviously it is working, because let's be clear. I'm not saying these things, she is. And so if anybody wants to know why I am having this conference, it's because we've been having these conversations for a while.

This is what we did. We did this with her at her school. we get this information out here. Having the role of lead is not easy at all. However, you're doing it. but this is what we have to do in order to get out here. You can facilitate that and came down here and shut Dallas down. How was Dallas? Dallas was really fun. I enjoyed it. Um, I feel like having the practice I had with the Chicago launch, definitely came with a little more fire for the Dallas launch. And I wanted to really include the audience and really get their full perspective of even have you never read the book or even if you read.

The book twice over. to really get your opinion and your thoughts and just get you gears turning about ACEs about childhood trauma and seeing the intersectionality of how it affects why you don't like talking to people at work or why. You take everything personal with your friends or while you're in over share or you know share enough or You're a hyper emotional person or why you can't recall the last time you cried like seeing people really think about so that's why I am the way I Am and not view it as a bad thing But just like and that part of the life experience is that if you are experiencing all the things that you aren't experiencing life so It was really beautiful seeing people really take inventory of themselves and not in a judgmental way.

Cause I think so often we're kind of thought to be like, so I'm this way and that's a bad thing.

Dallas Launch, Healing, and Mentorship 10:23

And I have to change it immediately versus being like okay, this happened to me. In a way it's happened for me because if this didn't happen, I either wouldn't be who I am. Or if it happened the way happened now that I know about it, i'm able to blossom and become a better or not better version. an evolved version of myself. A superhero. Exactly. We're having a superhero conference. That's what that is. Because it's the podcast guests that have been getting together, having the conversation. You've been having That's why you're here.

Not because you haven't done the podcast, you are doing the work in the community. They're doing to work the in community as well. And why not get together to have this pod, not just podcast celebration. We've been doing this. The podcast is three years, but we started ACES Awareness Month together and now It's been a year. We come in and celebrate. So it's so much more than a conference. It is so more so than education. it gives value to what we've been doing and what have accomplished. And we just want the community to know that there are people out there that are doing this.

there are people having the conversation. So no, she hasn't been on the podcast, but she has now. And guess what? We've been having that conversation, so for those who are interested, come to the conference. Is it going to be people like Cameron there? What is she going be doing? Facilitating. I haven't even got a chance to respond to this young lady. She had to submit too. So yeah, you got it. I just haven't, we've been extremely busy and you know that. So congratulations, of course. You will be a great facilitator for the conference.

Come see what she has to say. Listen to what you just said. We are going to pour into rooms and help people understand it is okay to be superheroes like us. Cause you what ACES is, correct? Yes. And what's your ACEs score? My ACE score is a four. Another question. Do you let your ACES score define you? I do not. My ACEs score defined me. I used to for a very long time though. What made you change your mind about that? When I realized the things that happened to me weren't my fault. I took a lot of ownership over things that happened to me in my youth and just in me being a person on this planet, I kind of internalized it as well.

I must have done something or I most have not done enough. And that's why this happened. So once I kinda reclaimed my power and also absolve that person of the power they once had over me. I was just like, no, they just did that. And I don't have to understand it because if I understand that, then that means there's some parts of me that are like them and that has the capacity to do that to other people and I didn't want to have that capacity. So I will say I'm- Ownership and accountability. Yes.

I am 23 now. Now I would like to say, I have been free of being defined by my ACEs for about seven years. God bless you. Thank you and look at the glow, y'all. Look at that glow. It's honestly been a pleasure. And I don't even want to end this early because we have so much to talk about. We have a conference coming up. Are you ready? I'm very ready. I am very excited. Would you like to talk about some of the things that you've done in the community since you have been in Chicago? I would, I'd like to share.

I've hosted a sports volleyball camp for some children or girls in the Chicago area that has implemented mental health and sports performance and showing that the mental strength that you gain from life's trials and tribulations and the competitive attitude that bring towards sports can both be combined to making not only a better athlete, but a person. So I've hosted the, and it's actually called ACES, All Children Excel Sports Academy. So, I have hosted that. This would be my third year doing that, so if you have any young girls ages 6 to 13 that would like to join, feel free to message me on any platform.

Yes. So yeah, that's really, yeah. That and my research. My research has been my baby and implementing it in different conversations also at work that gets other psychologists, their brains really thinking about it as well. Now tell us more about that. So the part or the department I work in within the Department of Psychiatry is the Institute of Juvenile Research. So we work directly with children of various demographics of, various ages, different backgrounds, and really shedding light on whatever they might be coming to our clinic for or whatever research that their doctors might getting grants for that a lot of it is rooted in aces whether it's this is a child from an immigrant family with unfortunately with the climate we live in now that that's a that' a very big fear that alot of families are are having right now of even just the thought of like I don't know if I can go to school and know that my parents are going to be there when I get back.

That's an ace. that even the mere thought of having that not every kid is born just immediately thinking my parents might not be home when I get back right they might come take me from school right the ace of growing up in a single parent home whether it's you never knew that the other parent or whether you were there when the parent left or that's an ace. And thinking about that when they approach these sensitive groups, because sometimes I think that, especially when you go through things with a very broad lens, you don't think of the very niche groups that exist within the lens that you're looking through.

Very good. That's how she feeding on plan. No, but I'm dead serious because this is the conversation that is going to happen at the conference. And I don't know if you know, but you're gonna be in a room with Dr. Adrienne Faulkner-White who works for the DC, yeah. I had to throw some people out there because I think people understand how wonderful the conference already is because of people like you. Not that I don't want to put the information out there, I really do. I want this to be a huge conference because we are really out here working in the community to get this awareness out of here.

But as far as speaking opportunities, do you have people like you, like I said, Noche? I'm just now telling her she got what she applied for. So I still have the people waiting to speak and this is the great opportunity, but if the conversation is not going to about ACEs, because I'll be honest, I know for me, every conversation I have is about ACES. I try not to make it that way, but it's such an engaging conversation to have. Do you agree? Am I by myself? No, 100% agree. Because I don't understand why we're not doing this.

So I will share with you why I chose Chicago, because we ignited Chicago when we was here.

Conference Vision, Community Impact, and Closing 18:38

I don't think people even got how we got to where we were. Me incorporating the foundation was the solidification for me so people can understand power and purpose in what I'm doing. So now that people know is people out here like you that are really doing this ACES work in the community. It's for your generation to understand and catch on. I helped you. Now, these are the people that need to be coming to the conference. So while we're the ones that sitting here trying to heal from all the physical elements from aces, you all still have that opportunity, just like the high school students and the kids that you just talked to us about, they still had that.

People have to understand that impact about it as well, if that makes sense. That's the reason why we have a conference. Because people are coming for sure. So now all of these people get to see it after having this conversation that I just had with you. Let's be clear, are they gonna come? They have no other choice. How can we get this information out there? What do you think? I think holding spaces like the conference, having podcasts like this that reach multiple groups, it goes through any accessibility barrier.

Having lunch and learns, Having just the conversation. I Think talking about ACEs to me is just like talking About football on a Sunday is Just like Talking about Netflix on A Friday. It's a part of our everyday conversation because if we don't then there's no real healing in silence. because that just allows the wound to grow deeper because nobody's treating it. And treatment doesn't always have to be seeing a therapist, although for those that find comfort in that, that should be accessible to them.

But sometimes treatment is just, I talked to my friend and we've realized, wow, so we both really experienced some ACEs growing up. That was the commonality I didn't know we had until we got the conversation. It makes you realize you're not so different from everybody else and something that make you feel so alone. I think that has been the reflective for me. So I that's the reason why Chicago was great for and Kansas City wasn't, because I knew that Kansas city was going to be exactly what it was, which is why when the invitation was extended, I told you not to come, at 17 for a reason.

And I got the opportunity to share why, and I had it at my church. Shout out to Macedonia Missionary Baptist Church, still waiting on you all to call me, because I'm not gonna call when I didn't make that mishap on what happened. So I still love my Church. But let's be clear. everything that I knew that was going to happen happened. I had my big brother there and he handled his business. Food, people was fed because he took care of me, but he always has. But nobody has ever asked me why I was a first generation high school graduate when I have a big bother.

And so that's where the journey began for me to leave Kansas City. So I really didn't want to see it, but I have to shout out the people that came, that still came anyway. And I talked to Demarne just off of general conversation check on him. He came because, you know, he wanted to get away from Chicago and he said, it's cold. It's called in Kansas City. I said it is, and it took for me to go through the three city book signing. to help me heal, like that was it for me, I had to get it out. I've never went off like I did, and never ever do it that way, but I do.

But the people in the room were like, absolutely, it was amazing, now I get why you did this, know what happens. And I think that's what people have to sit and reflect on. This is why we bonded. While people think that trauma bonds are okay, some trauma binds are. You don't wanna call it a trauma bond, but when your parents are divorcing, all at the same time, and I had to give examples. So then when I started having conversations with my friends there, they was like, oh my God, that makes sense.

Everybody's not ready for that conversation either. And I understand that, But I didn't want you to be a part of that. Yeah. Because I didn't want that to be triggering for you. So I get it. You know what I mean? Like you have to understand ACEs really, so you can know. What rooms to being in and what not to the end. I will again say thank you because you wanted to come and I never share why I did want you to. But that's all in understanding ACE's too. And I thank you for respecting my bandwidth without me having to express it.

And as I think when you have community, some things don't have to be communicated to understood. Which is the reason why, and I'll share that now, I had a whole Yedig for Dallas because it was a weekend experience for the ones that did come because they needed that weekend So I wanted them to share that from that experience, and they did. I got TikToks and a whole nine out of it. That's my last TikTok I'm gonna ever do, too. Trust and believe me, I am not no pawn in anybody's chess game. No more TikTok.

But as I digress, yeah, they said the same thing. Like, I needed this experience. I need it to have that. So you also have to know when you're mentoring, when your coaching, you are doing this thing that we call living life, that you have also to understand. That's why that chapter one is so deep. There's a workbook now. because we really have to have this conversation. I got all the feedback, trust me, I've got it. Like I know everyone had went through that first chapter, okay? And said, hold on a second, this is a lot because it is.

And I didn't wait to get into the meat and potatoes. So I started off with the spoon so you can get fed. and I'm dead serious. As you see our community even on the mighty is growing. It is. I mean, all of these people that I announced on Instagram this week been in the group for about two and a half, three weeks now. So as I continue to put the information out there, what do you say to someone that is interested in attending? I would say come open, come ready to receive. and to also release previous judgments you might've had of yourself or of circumstances that you've seen others go through.

Because I think that's the biggest barrier in receiving ACEs is understanding that there's a lot of judgment that comes with ACE's and you have to release that to understand that it's not always you. Okay, let me do a row reversal. Any questions for me that I can ask randomly? What would you tell someone that is passionate about aces but doesn't know where to start? At first, I would tell them to take the quiz. I am not I'm fond of the quiz and I'll share why, because I think that's the reason why so much of a put back.

But my trainings now have turned into telling people why. that shouldn't define them, because you have 50 questions turned into 10. And of those 10 questions, they have three questions in one. So you can't let the score define you anyway. me getting away from it is the reason why more people are doing it by just doing that way. Understanding how the score doesn't define you because as now you know the scores one and three so if you look to your left and look your right everybody has aces. I've been doing research, and that's what people don't know.

And that is one of the things that I will be presenting at the conference, why everybody wants to, you know, add to the list of honorees. Let me honor myself by saying I have been research. That is what the ACES study on my website is. I did a study at a conference. Manifest conference! That's just one many, let's be clear, because when I do trainings, I When I did it there, that was a men-all-men conference, and I'm really excited to introduce that information. You know what I mean? I am a researcher.

This is really what i do. And so I also want to do it at the conference as an awareness tool for people to understand. So yeah, we're part of research. I Am a Researcher. this is what do and so i think that's going to be The key for people to understand even more that you can't let the ACES score define you if that makes sense. It does. Thank you so much for anything else because this was it. This is honorable. You guys like again, I'm not. going to be doing everything. This is my lead. She has is doing this information out.

she's putting it out here. We're doing, we're going this conference together. So this just isn't me doing. I don't really need to do anything but put it, it's out there for people to understand. And we've been doing that and to see us in a room doing it together is what I'm looking for. Because I'm telling you, she lit up. Everybody kept saying, who is the girl in the brown pants? And she was so worried about what she wore. And he was a walking billboard. I think you had something about medical and mental health on your shirt or something.

Yeah. Like, let's be clear, I did, asked her to do the red dress because if you have not seen the Ted Talk from Nadine Burke Harris, Dr. Nadin Burke-Harris, if I even talk about her in my group, that is who I want for this conference. I've done everything. Imma send this to her too. She needs to see that the TED Talk that she did actually worked. And I think what happened for me is when she jumped back on 10 years later, it was 2014. I remember because I did my research in 2014, so when I seen that, I was like, that's what I want to do.

i'm doing my own research on that. She needs to know the fruits of her labor did not go in vain and the seed that she planted has us here having this conversation. Because I told you to research her too. You know what I mean? Like, let's be clear. Be proud of me and definitely be proud to her because she's doing it all the way. Let's Be Clear. So anything else you want to share? Any shout outs? Anything good? Shout out 360 Volleyball Sports Academy. Those are the girls who are taking over the city of Chicago by storm.

Shoutout Kenwood Academy, my lovely high school alma mater. And shout out Dr. Tori. Because without you, I wouldn't have the confidence to have a platform I have now to speak about ACEs and to be a mental health advocate for athletes and for young girls and just people in general. And just so you all know, our Be Victoria's Foundation is who's hosting this conference. All the donations, all proceeds. We spent a whole bunch of time just doing donations and helping, so in-kind donations. Where we're accepting sponsorships.

Were doing things in our community already. So we of course are looking for donations of any kind. When we take those, we are going to do exactly this, be in out community, have this conversation about ACES and I have the best person on my side helping me do this. So it has been a pleasure and honor. You are a blessing to me, you know that already. I think the value indices for the ones that are not aware, I do not hide that I have been doing mentorship this year is 30 years for me. So I would love to celebrate that in some type of caliber.

This year I've been working with this young lady Her name is Eternity. She's already telling me about some back-to-school things that she wants to do. We have a lot of work to as you see B Victoria's Foundation is in the Chicagoland community. And we are doing things everywhere. Shout out to Tyler Hobbs, who you met. He's doing an etiquette experience with the Omega Gents here in Dallas. That event is February 15th. so we are doing work in the community I shout out to myself I got community outreach for the boys and girls clubs here in Dallas which means be victorious foundation will definitely be exposed because everywhere I go that's what we're gonna do so continue to pray for us as we do this and for those who don't know again there is a conference the ACE international awareness conference.

If you have not researched us, please do go to our podcast, bevictorious.com. We are accepting every kind of donation you can think of. we are a non-for-profit this conference there are tickets right now hopefully well we haven't had anything so this should be a out quickly. We have Rise and Thrive tickets. Will keep them on sale for a while. Those tickets are 150. And as you see, our conference has valuable people. It is way well over a $300 conference for three-day educational conference. So jump on that Rise & Thrive.

Any questions or concerns, don't forget to hit us up. Cam, where can people find you on social media? How can they find me for questions? You can find me on Instagram at Cameron Lindsey Mae, K-A-M-R-Y-N-L-y-n-s-i-m-a-e, or at The Gut Punch Mag, that's where I have my magazine blog, blog that shares everything about the intersectionality between aces and scores performance. And you can at your UIC research building if you have any questions about getting into STEM, being a researcher, post-grad life, anything in between.

All right you guys, you know where to find me everywhere. Be victorious. I am not on Twitter anymore and I'm not I am back on LinkedIn. I'm on Instagram and Facebook. And of course, my website is up and available. So if you have any questions or concerns, we'll see you soon. Take care of you guys. Have a great day. Bye-bye.