Be VicTORIEus Ep. 68

Book Announcement and ACEs Introduction 0:00

Hey, you guys, it's me, Dr. Tori. My book is officially out. And yes, It is time to talk about ACEs. You guys can find the books everywhere. However, I would encourage you, guys to go to my website, bevictorious.com and place your order today. Yes. It's time. To talk. About ACE's. Let's go, y'all. Hello. Welcome to another episode of Be Victorious. You know who I am. It's Dr. Tori. And let me share with you guys, it is a pleasure to have this young lady on this podcast. She is the face, she is voice, She's the marketing, the media.

When I tell you this lady is all that in a bag of chips, when I think about superheroes and superstars, I will let you guys know she's always been inspiring

Introducing Aisha and Her Work 1:10

to me, a huge motivator of my success, the number one supportive, and when I tell you very supportive I would not be who I am if it was not for this young lady. She has her own business. When I say educator and entrepreneur, they call it edupreneur, I would not be who I am without her. Miss Aisha, let the world know who you are. Hey, y'all, hey. Wait a minute. I still don't see you. There she goes. Look, there we go. we gonna get it. That's right. Hello, my love. How are you? I'm doing good. I am alive and present and well, I thank you again for coming on.

We're gonna do something different because the world needs to know who you are. Everybody's been asking about Miss Each. And we need to know who you are. I let them know I would not be who I am without you. We have so many connections and so may ties. So let's start off with an introduction of who are, tell the world who, you, are? Okay. Yes. Hi everybody. My name is Aisha B. Um, I'm 24 years old. And I stay in Chicago. Just graduated Columbia about two years ago. a video editor and social media manager.

I also have my own business called Edit with Each, where I do those things for clients, any and everybody. Where I give people a platform, a voice, or just a space opportunity just to highlight themselves, their business, and you know, feel heard and seen. And I feel heard and seen, honey. Let's be clear. We just had an international conference that you helped plan, execute. How do you feel? I feel so great. In the beginning, like during the planning stages, you never really know like how big or how serious or impactful events can be.

So to be in the stages of planning it, to actually see it come to play and see how amazing it was, it's a little rewarding, but also my heart just screams with gratitude because this is an opportunity that not only changed me, but I feel like I was able to help and change others as well. I believe it, because you did. And one of those people are me. Let's be clear. We'll talk about that in a minute. So for those who don't know you, how would you describe your journey as a cycle breaker?

Cycle Breaking, Faith, and Support Systems 4:10

My journey, as cycle-breaker, I would say it's rooted into creativity, Truth and resilience. It's all about acknowledging the pain, feeling it, but not staying in it. And as I've gotten older, been in school, post-grad, it's really important to acknowledge what's going on, acknowledge the elephant in the room, because we can't solve the problems if we don't know what the problem really is. So my journey as a cycle breaker, it's not easy at all. There's ups and downs and there is with life in anybody in any specific way.

But I think what it is, is having that passion and that drive and just keeping cycle-breaker on the forefront. because anything is possible, anything. Like, I always try to, you know, recognize my trauma and recognize, what may not be right and try and fix it. I don't let it just linger or say like, oh, well, that is what it is or this is me and just be done with it, no. You work towards greatness and you work toward breaking those cycles because that's important and that beneficial to not only you but to others who may be looking to break cycles.

It's very eloquently stated. That's why I love her, but you know, I'm trying to show, not to, show and stay in my, my host realm because let me tell you I've seen your growth. It, it's amazing to see you transition from a young woman to a adult you know what i mean i've been mentoring you for so long and just to see your transition and to See your growth for me it's humbling just the smile just The way that you move the way That you are doing things it just lets me know that You know god put us together for a reason and that's our job to help each other and to see each others grow.

So let me throw that in there. I am very, very excited for your success and the fact that you stand tall as a leader and a cycle breaker and I see you breaking those generational cycles, I have to give you your heads up. With that being said, what are some of the strategies or support systems that have helped you on your path? Me personally, I would say prayer. Prayer is number one. Talking to God, talking about it. As I've gotten older, you know, heavily involved in the church, preaching, dancing, singing, leading, and talking, promoting, all of that.

But I think that as I got older and life started life in for real. I learned how to talk to God, how I need to get what I need to receive from him. Sometimes throughout my day, I'll just talk to God. He's a friend or just a peer, someone that I could just easily come and talk and tell them, look, you know what's going on. I can't. This is just too much. You know, to get better in my faith, grow, get out of this situation, what do I have to do? And a lot of times, I'm impatient. I working on that.

And you know how people say he may not come when you want to, but he'll always be there right on time. So true, like really, really really true. It is. And I just, I recommend that for everybody. I feel like we kind of get like sidetracked in life where, you know, we may be going through it and it seemed like going though it for a while. So we feel that God isn't listening, but that is so not true at all. Always think about like when you go to the gym and you want to get stronger, you have to keep lifting weights.

You can't keep lift at a five pound weight and expect, you know, by tomorrow you'll be able to lift 100, no. you gotta keep building that, keep going through it, and keep elevating those weights because that's what's gonna build that muscle. So, prayer number one for sure. Second, I would say probably dancing and listening to music. I've been like going to a lot of like sound bathing classes and meditation and stuff like that. And this lady that I work with told me how important it is to move your body.

She was saying like, even if you got to twerk, twerking out, you gotta move something, keep your moving, shake that negativity off. I literally remember the first sermon I ever preached, the whole thing was shake it off, and step it up because you have no choice. You really got to go out there and you really have to get it. And lastly, I would say, excuse me, just surrounding myself by people who are like-minded individuals or people are encouraging or see me for me. That's a really big important thing to have.

It lets me know that I'm not alone, that i feel heard and I feel appreciated and Of course, everybody wants to feel like that, but surrounding yourself by around people who mean well even helps you grow and helps your elevate. So it just makes the whole journey of life, you know, a little bit easier, little brighter per se. And I love it because the transition, honestly, we can both speak on this, the transitions amongst each other. I think for me, and I'll just keep it 100 with you, is the fact of the transmission of me mentoring you and you mentoring the girls.

Healing, ACEs, and Conference Takeaways 10:20

and how that full circle moment works. Because you said surrounding yourself around positive people. People are watching. They're watching the good, they're the bad, the watching up, watching down. And I think if we are our authentic selves, then that's what people are going to see. You've seen me transition. I've see you transition, you've them transition but keep God first. keep doing what we're doing, understanding. We were really all born into saying, let's be clear, we don't have anything to do with that.

However, We're learning to grow. we are learning, to heal. were learning. To be resilient. And I think for me as your mentor, because like how Reggie said, Let me shout them out. Mentorship is really what it is. It's not anything else. I'm not your therapist. It is something different and that was one thing that I loved even throughout our journey, you know, I'm transitioning from mentor for this mentor, for that, and people have to understand that. So just so you all know. Yes, she has been a huge inspiration to help me also a part of my community.

helped mentor my own daughters who love her to death, which is the reason why she hasn't been part of the team. The reason we have the victorious, the reasons why we had a lot of things going on in regards to ACEs ambassadors and things of that nature. This is our spokeswoman. And so you have to understand the role that she's playing. You have do things not for anybody else but do thing for yourself. And that's one thing that I love about you. So let me ask you one more question, or a few more questions, shall I say.

You talked about your healing strategies, support systems. In what ways do you now empower others, whether it's in your family, workplace, our community, to break your generational cycles? Spreading my positive energy. I'm always letting people know I am here for you, I love you. You're okay with me, but I don't judge. I have my flaws as well, and that's what makes all of us beautiful individually. My flaws are not your flaws, You know, they're here to show it is what it, is this is who we are. It doesn't make us bad people, you know?

We're all trying to evolve. We are all tryna grow and change. And I just feel like, being what I couldn't have to somebody, I wouldn't wanna see them go through what went through when You know, all I needed was a simple, hey, how you doing? Hey, you okay? How's your day been? I've been thinking about you. You've got all my mind. Um, so definitely just spreading positive because the world could be so dark. Yep. Like there's no compassion. There's not sympathy. No understanding. And I try to be all of that as much as possible for every party.

Cause you never know what people are going through. We only see. a percentage of what people show us and barely even that. So just, you know, even if I don't know your story or know what's going on with you, trying to sympathize with, putting myself in your shoes and think, how would I want to be treated? How would want be respected? You know? Do I what this type of behavior reciprocated to me? And just thinking about the other person and actually genuinely caring about their feelings. You're right.

You are 110% correct. Speaking of, you know about the ACEs quiz, the ACES study, and you have an ACE score. What's your score? A six. And I love it. Because guess what? You don't let it, And you never let this six define you. And I love you for that because again, we cannot let our ACEs score define us at all. So let me ask, did you learn anything at the conference that shift your perspective or help you better understand your own story? I did. From learning how to breathe through it, work through knowing with specific type of meditations work for specific types of problems.

That is key that is so essential. And also just learning that, you know, It's okay. Like you don't have to, like you said, wear that score proudly on your chest. It is what it is. Show off those battle scars because without my battle scar, I wouldn't be who I am today. I would have known what I know today or be able to help other people in their space, just evolve and grow and let them know that, hey, you're not alone. like I'm going through this too. So I just think, being in a space where I can feel more comfortable and recognize, you know, this is me, and it's okay, it is okay.

I feel like the whole conference, the main thing for me was, It's Okay. And I needed that for sure. Good for you. So is there something you wish people would understand more about childhood trauma or ACEs that isn't talked about enough? Um, yes. I feel like oftentimes a lot of people, two things. Okay. One, we don't recognize how our childhood trauma affects us as adults. And we don't recognize how if it's not healed, processed or acknowledged, we carry that. And oftentimes like we're not breaking cycles because we do not acknowledge it.

We brush it under the rug and that's about the way to go because then you'll find yourself at 50 wondering, well, why am I acting like this? Why do I feel like why is this going on? Well, because you never took the time to process the childhood trauma or bring it to the forefront and say, this has been going on. this is not okay, and I have to do something about this. Only I had the power to change that. Nobody else can force me, nobody else could make me. I'd have want to that and have be open to it.

You know, this not something that's going to happen overnight and there's gonna be times where because you did go through your trauma,

Childhood Trauma, Awareness, and Mentorship 17:20

it may bring you back to, you know a place that you don't want it to be. But you have smart enough and willing and Encourage yourself and tell you that you have to go on. You have keep going because it will get better. I hear your emotional support agreeing with you too. Yes, like she's speaking. And I talk about it all the time because for people that are not aware, that's what pets are for. They will help you comfort. You know, Sophie, you know I know that angel. What a cute self. I hear her saying yes.

But people have to understand you have find the things. One thing that you highlighted is self care. Self. self-care because somebody else can do for you what you know you can for yourself. So thank you for highlighting that. I love what said though, because that's what we're struggling with as adults. You're an adult, but when you get older and you're dealing with the things as a result of the childhood trauma, that where we like, man, I wish I would have knew a little bit. earlier. So how has being a part of the Be Victorious movement shaped your healing journey, your purpose?

Because you're younger, so you still got that chance to take care of some things. I know. Um, I feel like that's a great question. The Be Victoria Foundation helped me be comfortable in my voice. That's number one. Take conviction over my life and stand firm in being a leader. I feel like my generation, we don't really have platforms, resources, support system or groups like this who want to say, listen, I talk about these childhood adverse experiences because that's what forms you. People don't realize when you're a child, you notice every single thing.

That's where the brain starts forming and you keep this information stored and growing and learning. And to that point, I feel like the foundation has helped me unlearn some things as well. may not be what is centered or what I believe or I feel is morally correct in my life and my journey. Being a leader for my peers, it can be hard sometimes. Oftentimes we wanna be cool, we want to be looking like this or portraying this. And nobody really talks about the healing journey. Nobody talks like how hard it really is to just be a human, exist, live in America, like period.

I feel like having this platform, having his organization and just surrounding yourself around people who also feel the same way you do, I also want a leader, also wanna change. It just makes it easier to be confident in yourself and be competent to spread the awareness, because it's here. It's been here, it is here to stay. And a lot of people, they may not know. So just educating people and telling them about it and tell them, hey, this is what it, we have this out here you don't have to sit in silence or sit on your trauma forever.

healing out there for you to do. And I think just reaching people, not even my peers, like people younger than me, people older than be like, even hearing them say like you know, you're so inspiring. My sister, I have an older sister who was like about to be 40, old enough to my mom. Even her like I told her about ACES. I brought her, familiar with the Be Victorious Foundation because it has to start somewhere. And I feel like that awareness aspect is what, you know, helps everything keep going.

It keeps the wheels turning, the engine moving, because I could be a leader, I can be an ambassador, but what does that really mean? What work am I doing? How am trying to, use my gifts, my knowledge, and my wisdom and put that forth in the world. by spreading awareness, sharing to people, telling them, you know? Swashing my boo. I hate to say it, y'all, but yes, yes! This is the reason why it's been going for 30 years. You guys, I've been mentoring for thirty years, this is why we have the Victoria's Foundation, because it does work.

It's easy. It is really simple. Its awareness, its education, it's a voice. it is all of this. And you are doing that. I have to applaud you for that because this is the reason why we are here. You are the voice! So now these younger people are going to say, You know what? If she's doing it, I can do it too. We have to make it not normal for the things that have been happening, like the abuse, the neglect, and the household dysfunction. So again, thank you. What is one thing you would whisper to your younger self?

Oh, wow. I would whisper to my younger self, continue to be that life. Come on, baby girl. Never dim it down for anybody. And don't let nobody dim me down. That's right. In our respect. Woo, that's a chill on my spine because that resonates with me too. You know what I mean? We often do that. I understand that yes, I have a doctorate. Okay. Ooh. But people really do not know my story. And I think it's humbling to see like Kermari, because I have to share. Your relationship with the girls is the reason why I was like, hey, wait, hold on, what?

As a parent, I really didn't know what was going on. I wasn't your mentor and I helped you. You know, through high school and helped to get to college, but I didn' know was really going in the household.

Be Victorious Movement and Personal Growth 24:10

until in confidence, my daughters was like, no, mommy, I think you might want to talk to each. And just to see you as an adult overcome those obstacles, you're a hero to me. And so with that being said, we'll have that conversation. Right now, let's focus on what we need to do. Because again, We just had a beautiful conference. We all learned. we did what We had to. Do we highlighted the fact that we're cycle breakers. So if your healing journey had A theme song, what would it be? Um, I would probably say Made It by Teyana Taylor.

Okay, I'm with it. I like it because you did. First, so let me share. When I brag, and I don't try to brag but I'll brag. Do you know what school you graduated from? What school did you graduate from. Columbia College Chicago. Baby, do y'all know? That's the reason why. So everybody keeps asking me like these clips and these things, and it's this and this. This is the person that has done this, if you all know her story, I swear to God, we'll do that in another episode. But this here, you'll have to understand, this is why B Victoria's foundation was created.

So what does, and this is the last question, being victorious mean to you in this season of your life? In this Season of my life, Being victorious to me means, even though you're in the midst of it, Even though it may seem hard, you may see you might seem alone, Do it alone, do it scared, Do It Unsure, doing worrying. Because at the end of the day, all it takes is the size of a mustard seed of faith to keep going. And it's there. So many times I didn't like, I don't know how I was gonna, didn' see today.

I did'nt see 24, and see graduating, i did't see talking to you. i didn''t see getting this podcast. All it takes is that perseverance, and that's all you need. That's, all, you, need and the rest, it's like a domino effect. The rest will come. And even the small victories, And I learned this from you. the Small victories also make you extremely victorious as well. You're trying to pump me up. I mean, I feel real good right now. Let's be clear. But you all know for the ones that have seen the podcast, the podcasts is three years old.

So people know me by now and they know who I am. And I think that's the reason why this podcast is going to resonate with with the world as they all do, because they've seen my work, they see what I do. They see who I really am. And this authenticity is rare. This is us. So we're really having this podcast, but we are having a conversation that we need to have. Because when I left Chicago, I just left. I didn't get to hug. So to have you start off this podcast season and do what we need to do is what I needed.

So I have to thank you so much for everything that you've done. I want the world to know who you are, how much you have helped me. Let them know a lot about what you do and how an entrepreneur I want you guys to know she is one of the many entrepreneurs that have been my mentees that motivated me into entrepreneurship. Tell us about Edward Eash. So Edward is a business that I started almost two years ago. It's basically where I get to showcase my digital creativity. I love editing videos. I just feel like I'm just immersed in the digital world and it just allows me to be creative and show who I really am.

I help clients out a lot, small businesses to big businesses, corporations, executives. Starting out, even if you need help starting a business, I can help you out with that as well. And really my goal, my mission statement, you know, the business side, vision and all of that. I just want to be recognized helping someone else's dreams come true. So when I edit these videos, when i'm going to film these events, you know, my main, what makes me different from other,

Aisha's Business and Closing Remarks 29:20

digital creators, social media managements, I storytell. I see a story and I make sure I tell it, whatever that may be. And I'll make I sure tell from a lens that is specific towards you, because it's your story. And you're trusting me to, you know, handle your story and showcase in a way that is engaging to others, but also means something to you. I have to treat like my baby, that's our baby that we're gonna take care of. And we are going to show and just tell the world, so I do, like I said, videography, editing, social media management, teach people how to edit because I know that there's other editors, videographers, people who do this field, but I think doing it yourself is so much more different.

I can tell you this is how I want it to go. We can sit and watch thousands of reference videos for you to recreate this, doing it yourself, because you know what's in here. You know it's here, you how you want it to look, how do you what that text to flow into there, that graphic to spin around in there. And nobody can do it like you. Yep. So, with that being said, yeah. You got a good job with me. Thank you. And it wasn't always like that because I really used to hate teaching people like I'm, I get very like quick I don't, But in this journey, and I'm doing something that I love, or doing some that are passionate with, I am learning patience.

I learned how to take my time, learning how, you know, to find different ways. Because I was one of those kids in school, like I had to learn a different way. that A is B and C is D. No, I need it to where it sticks for me. I'm a visual learner, so I got to see it. And I've got a put it in my head. and I gotta build it up, break it down, separate it, organize it and put back together so that I could, you know, be immersive in that and not could expand and, show exactly what it is that i'm trying to show people.

Mm hmm. That's why I love him. I appreciate you a million percent and you know that. Let the listeners, the viewers, everyone know where they can find you on social media. Yes, you can. Find me on any and every platform of social and my business page on Instagram edit with each website is currently under construction. So that would be on the way, but stay tuned for that release and also book with me because I have affordable prices. I'm very flexible and I am very, very easy to work with. And I can attest to that.

The letters of recommendation. Here is a visual letter of recommendation. Thank you guys so much. I really enjoyed this podcast episode because you know, very rarely I'm meeting people for the first time and I don't get a lot of people that I know forever. or have been knowing half your life, my God, to sit here and have this conversation. So thank you so much. Aisha, I thank for being a part of the team. I think you for your support. Thank you, for traveling.I thankyou for still being with me after all of these years, because again, you're going to have mentors that you are going run into in your lives.

And I always thank you for your gracious return. So again, thank so much for everything. You guys, another fabulous episode of Be Victorious as always. you know where to find me. I'm everywhere too. everywhere and I want you guys to know that I will be back on TikTok for this season because it's been a demand. So with that being said, tune in you, guys. Thank you again for another fabulous episode of Be Victorious and we will see you guy soon. Talk to you later. Bye-bye.