Be VicTORIEus Ep. 69

Book Launch and ACEs Introduction 0:00

Hey, you guys, it's me, Dr. Tori. My book is officially out. And yes, It is time to talk about ACEs. You guys can find the books everywhere. However, I would encourage you, guys to go to my website, bevictorious.com and place your order today. Yes. It's time. To talk. About ACE's. Let's go, y'all. Hello. Hello, hello, you guys. Welcome to another episode of Be Victorious. Y'all should know who I am by now. It's Dr. Tori, known as Dr Victorius, and I'm here for another You know what I like? The fact that I get a chance to meet all of these wonderful superheroes that are willing to tell their story.

And it's been my pleasure to have such an experience with so many wonderful people. What do you think, Marv? Yeah, it was very, very cool at the inaugural ACES Awareness Conference to meet all the people that we have been interviewing throughout the years. So it really, really awesome. I felt like it like a family reunion. Yeah. We had a ton of people who are cycle breakers. That's probably because you're going to Guinness Book of World Records.

Conference Reflections and Cycle Breakers 1:35

How many cycle-breakers can you have in one location? I think that was what it was. So many people had so many wonderful things to say and so may wonderful, positive things, to bring to the conference. It was hard to not choose and pick everybody because there were so much people. I just loved the cohesion. not just the people that came, but what they brought to the conference. I think that was what it was for me. Like, I'll give you an example. From our live events, our podcast, 300 Letters is doing their thing.

You already know to have those cycle breakers, to had those superheroes share their story and their passion and purpose in regard to 300 letters. Lisa, one of our authors, used their story to actually donate her books to a woman's shelter in Chicago. And so that's power to me because we're a community that is actually really doing about the awareness of ACES and putting the information out there. Lisa's book is about ACEs. And to go to a prison, a woman's prison and share her book with somebody that actually will have an ACE score, lets people know that we cannot let ACes define who we are and what we do.

I think that is what I liked. The variety of people and everything that they brought to the conference. Now everybody is catching on and the community is growing and I You know, I mentioned all the people that we met, right? We met in person for the first time. But the thing that stood out to me was not only the support of your community, your sisters, you friends, but also your mentees and how many of them were present. So you've been mentoring for like what, 30 plus years? What type of impact has that had on you as a person?

I'll be honest, I start off with I'd be honestly, because I don't know no other way to be. But when I was 17 going through my ACEs I felt like I needed a me and I did not have a need. And I have to shout out the people that were there to fill in, you know, those, open spaces. people that fill in those open spaces, I'll be totally honest with you, they're cycle breakers. So when I think about it, They have aces. They are overcoming their adversities as far as growing up. they are doing things in their community already.

They are based off of description. So if you have somebody like, I'll give you an example, me. You got somebody that are out here breaking generational curses, out there that's doing the work of a cycle breaker. you really don't know until you're in that situation. But I think ACE's awareness helps that. person know who they are and define who They are in understand who who? They? Are which is the reason why we have so many people that have stepped up to the plane and said you know what this is this?

Is what I want to do I know now how to pivot my life and address aces because not only addressing their acis is helping them It's helping their respective community as well so I'll give you an example another example of You have people like Jorge. Jorge actually has went back. He is a licensed transformational coach, has been doing it for a while, but due to mental health life, I'll say that. I wanted to empower him a different way. Jorge is so much more than just a Jorge, the excitement we know, that he's really qualified to have this conversation, to talk to people and change lives.

You would have had to be there. When he did his first Motivation on Monday, I mean, and I was proud, a proud mentor because this is what he wanted. I think the difference between me mentoring at a high school and in schools and mentoring worldwide, shall I say, is that the common purpose is still the same, is to reach and mentor and create and make an impact and to make people feel empowered and feel positive. And I think once you know about ACES and once get that education of ACEs, it kind of combines.

So I think that's what I like about being a mentor, because it doesn't define you within a classroom. You can mentor people just being who you are. And me addressing ACEs and telling my story and having the podcast and sharing my stories, I really think it was helping people and educating people seriously. What made you want to Lead by example, be the example. Talk about your personal life and put your story out there to make a difference with ACEs. Why not? And I say that- Not everybody wants to do that though.

Not everyone is strong enough to lead by examples and to be vulnerable to talk about their weaknesses or things that they want to improve upon.

Mentorship, Personal Story, and Generational Trauma 7:00

And the crazy thing is I still haven't had the chance. I wrote the book, It's Time to Talk About ACES, because I want people to understand what ACEs are, how much of an impact they have on you. And I wanted people know that you can still have ACes like I do and achieve. So for example, for the people that don't know, and I say this all the time, yes, I'm a first-generation high school graduate, however To be the first to graduate from my family on both sides with a doctorate degree, it's a huge weight to carry.

Because if you really know me and you know my story, I have an older brother. Nobody asks me, well, what's going on with your older bother? Why didn't he graduate? So that's the reason why the book is time to talk about ASIS is out first, so I can explain to people what it is. I added parts of my story so people can understand that throughout the books, but I still haven't told my stories yet. As I said, I lived in household dysfunction when I was younger. Well, what happened was, in my adult life, that household disfunction carried with me.

And that is why my first chapter is Talking about addressing generational curses and talking about generational trauma. Because had I known, some of the mistakes that I have made, I don't want to call them mistakes. I want them experiences has helped me through my growth of life and helped through process and has help me heal. So I'm going to say that was what it was for me to lead by example so people can see it. And I am already leading by examples being the first of to do a lot of things. But I think that has also empowered people.

That's the reason why me as a transformational coach is there, because I can help you transition. We're talking about not just with your personal, but with you're professional. I've helped several people at this point now go back to school to get their doctorate degrees. Like, yay, love that. that's coaching and then there's mentorship. So someone like, who I hate to take advantage of that mentorship, yep, this is my mentor that she has mentored me. She has educated me on ACES. I take that with pride because to see him work and see, have that conversation, to him talk about it, To see Lisa talk, about to, see Mick talk.

About it to. See all the people that we have impacted on this podcast. Yeah. I had to. So you talked about, and I'm putting a little bit of your business out there, but I am proud of this person too. You talked being a first generation high school graduate. And we also talked cycle breakers. But the cycle continues to be broken because your oldest daughter just graduated from high schooling. So the mission that you're on, not only are you saving other people, but you are saving your lineage, your family.

So if you had to say a message to your daughters about why you do this and why it's been your ministry, you mission, what would you say? I don't want anybody else to go through this experience. which is the reason why I became a mentor in the beginning, because as a person that graduated from high school first, I don't want anybody to go through the stuff that I went through, my aces growing up. That's the reason why I became a mentor. I'm going to be totally honest with you. If I can graduate from high school, you can, but those experiences that we have been through, let's kind of address those and do what we need to do.

So you won't have to. Do those things. We all all know students or kids that have dropped out of high Family things have happened, have committed suicide. We know that there are kids out there, or wait, hold on, let me add the community violence or bullying to it. we have people out that have experienced these things, but if you don't know what these are, you can't address them. You cannot. Like, bullying is a norm. I'm glad that the CDC has made bullying an adverse childhood experience because bullying starts in the home.

parents, siblings, a whole nine. I've heard it, obviously the siblings thing, but I saw something that was trending on social media where they said, my first bully was my mom. Right. And I was like, damn, that's deep. That's a deep, you know, there are a lot of sisters. How many fathers have we seen if the young man doesn't fall in their lineage or they fall Did they get upset? Well, I played football. You need to play football, or I did this. They don't fit that mode of masculinity. Yeah. And I will tell you this, and this is so funny.

I would share with you, my first job out of college, was I was a supervisor, a hospital supervisor. A housekeeping hospital, supervisor with the Aramark Service Master. My dad. I remember when you had that job, yeah. Yes. Guess who was the person that was that person for me? Was my dad, he was a housekeeping supervisor. True story, true facts. You know what I mean? So when think about how powerful your family is and how powerfully your can be, you telling me I graduated with a master's, I made a bachelor's degree in psychology and my first job was, a housekeeper supervisor?

Yeah. So let's be clear. I did what dad wanted. Yay. But he wanted it a little bit more, but I thought I was doing something. He was my mentor. Or he was a person that told me to do what I needed to. Do. but when you have, again, generational lineage and generational understanding, I mean, the only thing that he did in addition to that was go to the military. And that wasn't an option for me. Yeah, Well, I mean, yeah, the main thing we're talking about is the mentorship and your mentees. So which leads us to some big things that we got coming up.

Yes. The cycle breakers. I mentioned all the cycle-breakers in one place. And we've got something special for the viewers when it comes to bringing a highlight, shining a spotlight on the Cycle Breakers we know.

Reframing ACEs as Strength and Ambassadors 14:00

You want to talk about that? I just think that people have to know that psycho breakers are superheroes. We don't need to categorize ACEs in a negative light. I feel like we need categorized ACE in positive light, and I say that to say there are so many psycho-breakers out there. Let's give a few examples like Taraji. Of course, I'm going to bring her up. The reason why I bring up Taraje Henson because she always talks about ACEs and she's always talked about her ACE score and how she doesn't let her ace score define her.

Well, don't either. You know what I mean? It's like, everybody's, oh, how was the conference? And how is this? How was this, it's great. So what happened? You should have been there. You know what I mean? It's like the people that were in the room can explain it a lot more, but we empowered them, the ones that was in a room, so much to understand that they're happy about being Psycho Breakers. They're happier about who they are. We actually came up with superhero names while we were there so we can let people know how empowered we are and who we I'm always going to be Wonder Woman.

Everybody that knows me know I am all over the place, let's be clear. But when you think about the original Linda Carter, she was a normal person. When she took out and put on her Wonder Women, She did her thing. And that's exactly what happened at the conference. These people came out, and did their thing, We have to highlight these people because there are people out here in the community that is really honestly doing the work. And I didn't just... force people to be on the podcast. These are people that came to the podcasts that actually really told their story.

And then you like, it's like they tell their stories and you find out that they're authors and they got this going on. They have this non-for-profit that their doing or they had this story and this is what happened to them and the result. You know what I mean? So it was like why not put a highlight on on cycle breaking and put it into a positive perspective. We got people out here whose parents broke up and they decided, well, they're going to get together and heal by breaking the generation of curses and be in relationships, marriages for 25, 35, 40 years.

Gotta shout out my aunt and uncle who I always call my aunt the original OG my dad's oldest sister her and her husband had been married over 50 years like OMG you talking about milestones you talk about you know what you want to do when I tell you they have been supportive of me since I'm not even 50 yet. So just know since birth, you know what I am saying? You want to put yourself around those people, but you also want highlight those type of people for what they have done. And I think it's a good idea to do that because I thing more people once they see it from a positive perspective, instead of seeing ACEs as a score or seeing an ACE as something negative, will get more awareness out there.

That's just how I feel. So we're going to have people that you've seen before coming back to the show. We've got some new faces coming in. But the thing that would be consistent with all of them in this upcoming series is that they all are cycle breakers. You know, we've talked about ACEs. we help promote ACE awareness. I'm saying this, not Dr. Torrey, but this is like the second phase. Okay, now we recognize it. Now we want to show how we beat it, so that's what this series going do. But before we go, I talked about your mentees and a lot of your mentors are ambassadors for the foundation.

Talk about how that impacts you in terms of, you mentioned about you wanted to be somebody that you needed, the younger you need, right? But now you're leading in a different way because you are making a bunch of smaller, younger, Dr. Torres to go out and help in the community. So talk about the ambassadors and what you have going on with them. I came up with the idea of and Hashtag for aces ambassadors. It's a hashtag out there already ace ambassador. I think an ace Ambassador needs a definition and I thank the people on not just our podcast is other people that fit that description and so I think it would be a good idea to just put that out as a hashtag so people can know and affiliate with understanding ACEs that way.

You know what I mean? Make it known. I'm an ACE's ambassador, I know about it, know I what to do, educating people in my community. And I that's where B. Victoria's Foundation can make a huge impact. As easy as $1 a month, Having a donation and saying, hey, I want to do it a dollar a month, $12 a year. And for those who are big and bad, a $1 a day. Whatever it is to let people know that ACES is out here, ACEs is real, we can continue to educate people. The way that I love the way it was broken down when I was listening to Jorge break it down and one of the young ladies knew that has taken the test with me said, that's where I took the tests with you.

It was one thing to take it and see it. She said I loved the that you broke it now. But I liked, I am an audio visual learner. She said when Jorge broke it down, it made more sense to me. And that made my ACES score go from a six to a seven. I know it doesn't define me, but it was the awareness of it for me and that is the reason why I said, yeah, we need to put this hashtag out here because it's not just my mental tees, my former mentees that I am mentoring at this point.

Upcoming Events, Social Media, and Closing 20:30

I'm mentoring everybody, I mentor people all over the world at that point, you know what I mean? And not just me, but I have a community that is doing the same. And I was talking to Mick and he was telling me and I keep talking with this young lady, she's in our group. She's at Liverpool University having a conversation and getting her doctorate degree on ACEs. So this isn't just something that i'm doing. You have people like Mike, um I call him future Dr. Davis, Mike Davis that's out here having a conversation about ACES, he's doing his and changing his directive to ACEs and understanding people in the military because there's such a combined, thanks to future Dr.

Helena Fields, who is finishing up with her doctor degree. Dr Fields was... Dr. Fields, she was episode five, and she talked about ACEs and lupus. So let's be clear, it's not just me that's out here doing these things. It's people that have been on the podcast that are out there in their community doing their thing. And I think we need to put a highlighted emphasis on them, not as just a cycle breaker, but bring that ACE ambassador awareness to adults so they understand. You don't have to be a mentee to understand ACE's.

Yep. So, you know, we got a bunch of big things coming. We do, and I want to, I wanna let people know on the 21st here in Dallas. I have collaborated with an organization here. Not only are we doing a book launch, were celebrating Juneteenth. And I'm the highlight. I am so excited. So I have to shout out my people from Chicago who mentioned my name in rooms. We're going to have that conversation. And then I month, mental health month. I have to shout out Andre Charlie, I will be there in I wanna say July, having that conversation that we had at the conference as far as the statistics that brought for the men.

Oh, we're gonna elaborate that a lot more. All of that information will presented out there to get more men aware about ACEs and mental for sure. So we got a lock coming up in June. We got lot of stuff coming period. So June 21st will be the program here in Dallas, Texas. Tell people where they can find you on social media and where can they find your book. You can fine me everywhere in social Media. I am on Instagram as Dr. Victorious. Facebook is Dr. Victorious. I am actually on LinkedIn as myself, but my pages be victorious with Dr Tori Williams and be Victoria's foundation are on linkedin.

i am Actually back on tick tock i'm going to be working with a young lady. Her name is harrya harris shout her out We're going, to, be doing some series she's definitely interested in talking about aces ii'm gonna Collaborate with her and do a few series to put that information up on ACES back out there on TikTok land. So you got Facebook, you get Instagram, You have LinkedIn, and you have TikTok. Any other questions or concerns you can hit me up on email or you could hit my DM if necessary. Yep, and get that link on her bio so you can buy the book.

Absolutely. The book is everywhere. When I mean everywhere, everywhere you, can go on my website if you want a personalized copy. You can get a hardback or you could get paperback and I will send you all of my wishes. I have workbooks out there.I have trainings, I had things available. So just reach out and i have what you need to help you. Trust me, i got you! Alright, now that we talked about it enough. Yes. Thank you so much for everything. And thank you for your support. Three years in, how do you feel?

I'm good. I've fired up, ready to go. Looking forward to this new series, because I enjoy not just talking about a problem, but also showing how people can provide solutions. Because you are a psycho breaker? Yeah. Don't say that. Uh-huh. That's why we need to have that conversation that we have in there talking about ISIS. Let's get to it. We'll talk about it, but all right, y'all, we'll see you later. All righty. Talk to you guys.