Eat More, Stress Less: Why Most Diets Fail and What Actually Works

Podcast Intro and Guest Introduction 0:00

Yeah. Let's just talk about like, I mean, in the comments of this podcast or YouTube, if that happened to you, if that happened to you. Yes, absolutely. Me? It's happened to my daughter. Oh my goodness. Yes. It's just it's super frustrating, right? Yeah. It is. It's frustrating for three ways. Number one, the person means well right? They mean well. They're just not educated enough. I think at the core they do. Step two is now the first thing they learn about nutrition, whether it's true or not, they think it's true is, well, I need to count points and I this is the appropriate amount of food for me in my day to day life.

Number three, these these poor girls are learning. Hey, I'm not valuable. I'm not worthy. I'm not confident, I'm not attractive. I'm not. Insert whatever word fits with you unless I fit in this small frame. Welcome to Doctor Talks, the podcast where every episode leads to a healthier you. Join us as we navigate the world of optimal health, uncovering groundbreaking strategies to conquer chronic disease. In each episode, we'll bring you the latest insights from leading health experts, medical innovators, and wellness warriors.

If you're seeking to transform your health journey, or if you're looking for answers to burning questions, you've come to the right place. Get ready to unlock the secrets of lifelong health and vitality. This is Doctor Talks, real talk from real doctors on the issues that matter to you most. Hi. Welcome back to the Integrative Podcast with Doctor Jen. Today we are going to be talking about why diets are not working for your weight loss. We have Joe Hoey on the podcast today. So most coaches tell women to eat less and move more.

Joe Hockey does the opposite through diet detox, he simplifies nutrition and fitness, helping women eat more, exercise less, and focus on what truly matters. Breaking free from self-sabotage. Shifting their identity and achieving forever weight loss.

Joe's Personal Journey Into Coaching Women 2:00

With a background in surgery and years of coaching, Joe has helped over thousands of women ditch restrictive diets, rebuild their metabolism, shape their lives. His bold, backwards approach provides that lasting change isn't found in any other diet. It's found in the Total Mindset shift, named is one of the top ten menopause influencers of 2024 and the host of Midlife Makeover Summit, the largest online summit for women. 40 plus. Joe is an influential figure with a track record to back it up. Welcome to the podcast, Joe.

Thank you so much. Happy to be here. I do, maybe I sent a typo, but I can't be a liar. So I was in the top 100 menopause influencers, not ten. I was number 58. Just so if anybody goes and looks me up like this guy's a damn liar, we ain't getting off on the wrong foot over here. Okay, well, I might have just said that because maybe it's going to happen. So I might have said ten instead of 100, and it's so cool. Yeah, it wasn't a typo on your end, but maybe I'm like forecasting that. Right? So that's a good thing.

I'll take that. We would take that for sure. Well okay. Tell me about your journey into working with women because it's a little bit different. Right? We're not really used to a younger man working with women that are going through hormonal changes. So how did that happen? Yeah. So kind of a long story. Kind of a it's three parts really. So when I was 13 years old, growing up at my mom's house, she was my strongest, most consistent role model. And at that time I was I mean, I've always been an only child, but at that time I had two stepbrothers.

Sometimes they were at my mom's house, other times they were at their mom's house, and at the same time, like, I just hit puberty. I got super tall, but I didn't really fill out. I was like, tall, skinny, awkward. And kids started to notice that and kind of take advantage of it and started picking on me, to a pretty like, serious point. And at the same time, I was also starting to hang out with the wrong kids and do the wrong shit. And it really wasn't leading me anywhere good in life. And my mom saw both of those things.

She had been going to the gym for years already and she's like, hey, I think you're old enough. I think you'd like it. And she didn't tell me is, I think it might help you. But she's like, I'm going to the gym tonight. I'd love it if you came with me. And I said yes, because in my eyes, in my in my brain, like, all the guys there had what I wanted, right? They had muscles, they had confidence, they had their chest up, their eyes making eye contact with people. I was like, yeah, like, sign me up. That's what I want.

And so I fell in line from day one. It redirected me on the path I was going, but it never helped me gain any muscle. So from 13 to 18 I really didn't change much. But I went to the gym religiously, still got picked on, developed a case of pretty serious body dysmorphia, and in that that's something that's never going to go away, right? We just learn to live with it better. And so I graduate high school, I go to college, start pursuing a career in the medical field. And because of that, I have to take courses in anatomy, physiology and nutrition, kinesiology and really just understand the human body and how it responds to different types of stimuli.

And so I become my first guinea pig. Like, I started doing everything that I learned and knew to be true, to create results in my body. But at the same time, I'm 18 and I'm a dumb kid, and I start partying and drinking and eating pizza after drinking and not sleeping after eating pizza. And that's a really bad combination. So yes, I'm in the gym. I'm certainly at a calorie surplus, so I'm gaining a little bit of muscle, but I gain a lot of weight. And inside of, there's like a year to a year and a half, I gain like 85 pounds.

I go from 145ft 11 up to 225. And now I have a new problem, because if you look at BMI charts, 140 is underway and 225 is obese. So I literally went from two skinny to two fat. And I still wasn't happy. I wasn't happy with how I looked. I wasn't happy with how I felt. I didn't like anything. So I quit the drinking, quit partying, dialed in everything I knew to be true, and and I reached a point of basically where I am today, right? 511, around 190, 195 pounds. And pretty lean people noticed, right?

Because number one, I look better, but they also started seeing the version of me that you guys are hearing today, right? The one that advocates for himself and speaks up and maybe he'll make a smart ass joke here, here and there. Okay, you know what? I kind of like this, Joe, and I've never seen him. I wonder why. I wonder where he was. I wonder if he can create the same transformation in me. And I had enough people ask to where my business brain is. It's always been there. Just went off. I had a light bulb moment and I was like, I'm going to run these eight week challenges.

I'm going to help these guys that were just like me, either too far too skinny, learned to love taking their shirt off and learn to be confident and show up for themselves. And that's transparently what I thought I wanted to do, is how people like me. So I start running these online fitness challenges advertising locally on on my personal Facebook and Instagram, and I get a ton of signups and I never look at the names. I'm just like, cool, I got people rolling in, I'm going to help them and we're going to create some results.

So I open up my my laptop. On day one, I log into zoom, I turn my camera on, everybody else turns their camera on when they join the call and looking back at me, nobody looks like me. They all look like my mom. And I was like, oh my God, like, what did I do to get here? But what I realized is growing up with my mom is my strongest, most consistent role model. The person I spent the most amount of time with, along with our friends, is I learned to communicate in a way that that resonates with them.

And so I naturally drew them in. And since that was true, guess what? I also resonated with them on the calls. And at the end of the first call, we had fun. At the end of the first eight weeks, they all got results and I was like, wow, I feel really fulfilled. Like, this is great. I don't care if I thought I wanted to help people like me, I'm doing this. And so I just I just ran with it. At that time, those challenges were certainly not profitable. I was giving out $500 to every winner every eight weeks.

And in the beginning, I wasn't making enough money to cover that. So I'd be losing like 50 to 100 bucks per challenge. But it was really fulfilling. But fulfilling doesn't keep the electricity on. So I had to work my job in surgery and again, like, call it what you want. God, the universe, a higher power, fate, something pushed me in this direction once again, and so I was on the surgical team. My role was to help the doctor with just about anything he or she couldn't do with their own two hands.

Why Diets Fail and How to Simplify Nutrition 8:30

And it was myself and seven other ladies on that team, and my higher ups were like, hey Joe, I think you're the one that needs to go inside the ob gyn based rooms. So again, stuck with the female body. Like here I am in OB rooms with doctors that spent their entire adult career learning about it. And like as we're operating, we're having conversation. I'm like, hey, doc, what could this lady have done proactively to not be in the O.R. today? And so they're thinking like, wow, Joe crazy. He's really asking good questions in the right.

But it wasn't for them. It was for me in the ladies that I served outside of work. And so now, like, I've created this perfect storm, I love it. I want to give back to my mom. And I'm really freaking smart about it. Right? And so now I can help these ladies understand them and I like it. And so seven years later, I mean, this is where I'm at today. Oh, I love it. And you're right. I think we are called to do things that we don't expect to do. I mean, that that's where on that too. I never thought that I would be out of working full time in the E.R.

and in integrative medicine. So I think it's great that we serve where we are planted and we grow from there. So that's amazing. And your mom must be very proud. Yeah. So she works in the same hospital I worked at. And, at this point, because she's in the oncology department, at this point, she'll come home or come visit every once in a while on the job. I had another person come in and say that they worked with you, and they're very proud of the young man you are. Thanks, mom. That's amazing. I mean, that's the best compliment a parent can get, you know, as it is a mom of four.

Now, when another mother comes up to you and says, oh, this behavior was so kind. I mean, that's that's what you want. So that's amazing. It's that's great. And we're very fun. We're fun to work with. Right. You got to you got to push us. We need to be accountable. But we're we're great to work with. I look, I'll tell you what. Because it's not like I only work with women. I mean, 99% of our client roster in my free community is women. We got a couple guys in there that realize, like, hey, a lot of these things are going to apply to me, too.

So I'm going to learn from who I can learn from it. And I'll tell you what, the guys are the biggest babies ever, right? Like, like, I think I almost love working with women more for that reason too, because it's like, hey, you got to go do this. And you guys are tough. Like, you've, you've done everything for everyone all the time. And so if you get this thing, you're like, all right, I can do it. And it's just easy, easier I should say, right. Right now one of the things you say is there is no right or wrong diet across the board.

Can you explain that mindset a little bit? Absolutely. Yeah. So a couple thoughts on this. I've met people that have done keto for ten years and they're in great shape. And their health markers are good. They look good. They feel good. So you know what? Keto works for them. Personally, I've done keto on my journey of trying to figure out what works for me. And I tell you what, it did not work for me, right? I did carb cycling. That worked for a while, but it was it was too much to pay attention to, and so I just wanted something more simple for me.

I know people that like Chris Powell, my friend Chris Powell does carb cycling every day, has for years, teaches everybody how to do it, and he's insanely successful. I don't think there's a right or wrong diet. I think that the right diet is the one that works for you. And we got to add this asterisk and keeps you healthy, right? Because it's one thing to get to this like insanely good looking body. But if you feel like shit and your blood markers are awful, you're like, sorry, it's the wrong diet.

It's dangerous too. Yeah, I think there's so much everyone looks for the next best thing, the next best diet, and they jump from diet to diet. Like you said, keto doesn't work for some people. You know, carnivore doesn't work for some people. Sometimes they just need it short term. But I agree with you. And and I think working with patients and you working with women and coaching, you know, we see that. And you know, when you go to the doctor's office they're all prescribing a similar diet. And that's not helpful either.

So how do you work with your clients deciding which diet is right for them? I really don't like to assign diets. If somebody comes to me and they're like, Joe, I am so set on intermittent fasting, I'll level with them and I'll be very transparent in the beginning of like, cool, look, I don't think it's going to work long term, but I'm very open to being proven wrong. And hell, I mean, if I'm proven wrong and you're successful for life, I'm happy to be wrong. So here's the deal. Let's do it. I'll give you everything I got and help you succeed through this.

But if we find out it doesn't work when you open to a new approach, that might. Right. And so oftentimes nine times out of ten their first approach doesn't work. And that's okay. And so what I like to do is simplify it. Right. Because let's be real I would assume most of your listeners are here in the US. I know for a fact that this is true in the US and probably most other places in first world countries. We're way too busy to be overwhelmed and dragged down by too many rules, especially when it comes to the food you put in your mouth.

So I like to simplify things, right? Let's look at calories because we understand most of the time calories are going to determine whether you lose weight, maintain weight, or gain it. But that doesn't paint the whole picture because you could be gaining fat. That sucks. You could be losing muscle. That also sucks, right? And so now we're going to look at protein because we understand that when you take some protein a higher protein intake, rather pair it with a little bit of resistance training.

You're cueing your body that yes, it needs to lose weight in a slight calorie deficit, but you can only lose fat at this point. We got to keep that muscle. And again like that opens up a whole nother conversation of goal weight versus ideal body composition and so many more things. But another thing I like to get into is the reason I don't like diets is because they're not the fix, right? Because if you do a diet, all you're learning is a certain way to eat. You're not fixing who you are at the core.

You're not fixing your thoughts, your actions, your behaviors, your identity. And so as soon as you stop the diet that may have even made you successful, well, guess what? The only thing you're left with is who you were at the beginning and who you were at the beginning had what you had at the beginning, which means you're going to go back to that, and you're eventually going to get back to what you had. So we need to change who the person is at the core, the way they think, act and behave in order to, number one, get a result in a in a enjoyable way.

But number two, keep a result for life. Yeah. And diets can be really restrictive too. And then patients might binge or they might just go back but with vengeance and then they're worse off than when they started. So it can definitely be very dangerous. I've seen like in the functional space, you know, they they go to a practitioner patients and they get a food sensitivity test. And it's really high for a lot of things just because they have leaky gut. So they're reacting to everything. And they're put on these crazy, crazy restrictive diets of like ten specific ingredients.

And they're so stressed out that that just makes everything worse. So I definitely see that in my world where really restrictive. It's not good. It's really not good. And especially for women, we tend to be more emotional around food, honestly. Have you seen that? Sure, absolutely. Yeah. And I mean, if we're going to start depriving ourselves of these things, I don't know about anyone else, but if you tell me I can't do something or I can't have something, I'm going to want it ten times more versus the girl we just signed up the other day and she's like, she's like, Joe, I just have these massive cravings and they're so bad.

And I'm so ashamed of them that at this point I'm starting to, like, not even want to admit them. And she started working with one of our coaches and she told our coach that. And my coach was like, well, well, what do you want to eat? She's like, I just want a donut. So when's the last time you have one? She's like a month ago. She's like, well, do me a favor. Get off this call when we're done, go get a damn donut. And with the permission, you could literally. My coach said you could see this relief in her shoulders just drop like, oh, I have permission and I'm not bad if I eat this thing.

And now guess what? Because she ate it. Because she was allowed. She probably doesn't need one or want one tomorrow, right? It's that shame too. There's a lot of shame when it comes to the diet culture and food and and that's really hard and really, like we should live without shame. Like, as a Christian, we should not have shame. But it's a it's attached. You know, our society is there's just a lot of heavy shame. It's very heavy, and it's self-destructive. But I agree with you. Like, I think of my kids, if I tell them that they can't do anything, they're going to figure out a way to try to do it for Jesus anyway.

Well, so I'm talking about my three boys. My oldest daughter is not so much that way, but but boys. Well, anyway, it's it is very interesting. You brought up a little bit about body composition. So when we talk about weight loss does that you know, does that matter compared to fat loss. Right. Or how your belt is fixing. So can you explain that because some people are so focused on weight. Absolutely. Yeah. So every once in a while like maybe, maybe every 2 to 3 months, I'll host a big webinar and I'll go through a bunch of these things together.

And what I call it is the 3 a.m.

Body Composition, Mindset, and Diet Culture 18:00

masterclass. So mistakes that people make, why metabolism is so important and then mindset. And so one of the biggest mistakes that I see is giving way too much value to the scale. And so I'll ask everybody like hey guys, type it in the chat. Do you have an A goal body weight that you want to weigh. Everybody says yes, whatever that number is. They put it in the chat like awesome. Close your eyes. Play a game with me. Use your imagination when you hear me, snap my fingers. Guess what? You're at your goal. Body weight.

Think about that for a second. Open your eyes and type in the chat. Are you happy? Yes or no? And there's some people that get the bigger picture. They'll say no, but there's a lot of people that are like, yes, yes, yes, yes. And I'll go really? Because five minutes before this you just told me you have no energy, you don't have any confidence or self-worth, you don't sleep well, you can't focus. You're never hungry, but you have high cravings. None of that's changed. The only thing that changed was your gravitational pull to the Earth.

And oh, by the way, I didn't tell you what kind of weight you lost. You just lost all your muscle and you kept all your fat. Are you still happy? And now they see the bigger picture of like, oh, wow, there's way more to this than the number on a scale. Yeah, absolutely. Especially. I mean, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the GLP one Ozempic and we'll go the craze. I would just like, oh, I see I see you're reacting to it. All right. You good mixed thoughts right. Like this is definitely Pandora's box.

We have opened it and we will never be able to close it. I don't think if I'm proven wrong, I'll be pretty damn happy. But I don't think it's going away. And so my job now is a coach. Basically an educator is to say, look, here's what's going to happen when you take it. You're going to have no appetite, which means you're going to eat next to nothing. When that happens, it goes straight back to the weight loss versus fat loss conversation. You're going to be in the weight loss side of things, not fat loss, which means that you're not going to like how you look and feel when you get there.

By the way, this is also going to go back to the identity conversation. Once you stop it, you're left with who you were because you are who you were before. You're going to get what you had before. You're going to go back to the same way you were. But guess what? You're not the same person that you were before. You're actually physically worse because when you lose weight in the in the form of muscle, but you gain it back, you're not gaining that muscle back. You're replacing it with body fat. So you're the same weight and fatter with less lean muscle tissue.

Like that's a problem. And every time you repeat that cycle, whether it's GLP or diet, it's happening again. But yeah, I mean, it's really a pretty similar conversation to diets overall, especially with my education level on it. Like, I'm not the nerd that can dive deep and go down like rabbit holes with this, but I just see the bigger picture in it, and I think most people don't. Yeah, I and the thing is about like the craze, and it being handed over to a pharmaceutical company, of course, when we look at medications, I mean, we could talk about adipocytes too, you know, after this, but with GLP ones, it's it's too hard, too fast.

I get great results with patients when we go low and slow. Plus I'm having them maintain muscle lift, eat protein. And I tell them if you're not getting 120g of protein a day because you don't feel like eating, we're at too high of a dose and we really knock it back. So it can't be done correctly. But it's not being done correctly. It's on. It's at every med spa, it's at every weight loss. Gimmicky online stuff. But it's not like you said. It's not fixing the mindset. It's helping with the food noise.

But but when you get off of that, that food noise is going to creep back in if you don't fix the mindset but add effects, so add effects. These patients. I come on this, I remember a lot of the nurses when I worked in the E.R. would go on add effects. It's basically like cocaine, but it it's going to have you drop that weight, speed up your metabolism. Right. When you look at ephedrine. Yeah. Yeah. It's similar. Yeah. So, so basically it's just it's the same kind of thing. Like you're not fixing the root cause, which you say is mindset a lot.

Yeah, exactly. And look like that's not, that's not sexy. Like dealing with who you are at the core and as a person is not attractive I get it. But guess what is attractive? Finally having all the things you've ever wanted and keeping them right. So do you want long term attractive or short term attractive? Yeah, that's a great point that a lot of people don't think about. And but it's the hard work, right? It's easier to take a shot or take a pill. But actually uncovering why you have this mindset around food.

So what are some of these mindset issues that come with diet? So for the women I've worked with right in the demographic there. And so it used to be 99% women, 40, 50, 60 plus. Recently we've transition to a little younger. I can get into why after if you care to know. But what I've, what I've heard and noticed over a long enough period of time is most women at the age of you name it five, seven, 13, 17, something like that, we're told by somebody they looked up to, whether it's their mom, their teacher, their gym teacher, their coach, their older brother, somebody whose opinion they valued, they were told by them like, hey, sweetheart, you're getting a little bit big.

I think that we should start Weight Watchers. And so, oh my God, let's. Yeah, let's just talk about like, I know in the comments of this podcast or YouTube if that happened to you, if that happened to you. Yes. Absolutely. Me. It's happened to my daughter. Oh my goodness. Yes. It's just it's super frustrating, right? Yeah. It is. It's frustrating for three ways. Number one, the person means well right. They mean well. They're just not educated enough. I think at the core they do. If you want to prove I love you I.

No, no I agree. It's like they can't help it. They think it's just not good constructive criticism. No. Because also women were so tied to this outward appearance. And you know, it's probably because we live in a broken world and how women are supposed to look in social media and all of that. So then we start comparing our body because we're given that suggestion, right? Exactly. Yeah. I think they mean well, but they're, they're freaking awful at meaning. Well. So step two is now the first thing they learn about nutrition, whether it's true or not, they think it's true is, well, I need to count points and I this is the appropriate amount of food for me in my day to day life.

And if you guys can see me in video, I have my hands in a very small circle and it's so detrimental. Number three these these poor girls are learning, hey, I'm not valuable. I'm not worthy. I'm not confident, I'm not attractive, I'm not insert whatever word fits with you unless I fit in this small frame. So they can't love themselves unless they're small, which is so bad. Right. And so I don't even know what started this, but now I'm fired up the mindset, you know, like like why. So you think that just carries on.

So that's most women you think. Good question. Most women I don't know because I get a really specific sample size like I get those women. So for me to say most women, I honestly can't tell you. I can tell you that if anybody resonates like you're my girl, like you're the person that we've helped thousands of times, and then it snowballs from there, right? Like, like you said, there's so much pressure from our side to fit these norms, right? Women can't lift weights. You have to do cardio if you go to the gym.

Also detrimental because you've started losing muscle naturally at the age of 30. So you're just speeding up that process even more. I mean, we could probably go on for days with all these things. Yeah. Yeah, it's it's it's hard out there. I think things are kind of changing. I think the younger women are starting to realize that lifting weights is cool and it is good. You said you were attracting younger and younger women. Now, why do you think that? So it's because I'm trying to. It's not like they they naturally started coming to me like I'm trying to.

And it's because for the past seven years, like, I've seen these women that are 40, 50, 60 and older have these struggles. And if I can catch them earlier, if I can catch them at 30 when they've just done maybe their first diet, their second diet, their third diet, rather than their seventh, 10th or 20th, we're avoiding so much damage and we're solving we're being proactive rather than reactive, right. Because a lot of times for the women I work with that are 40 plus. They've dieted for so long, they've done so much cardio and they've experienced at least a decade's worth of natural muscle loss, that their metabolism is so slow that we need to rebuild their metabolism before we can get to the weight loss phase.

Whereas if I catch a girl in her 30s, I'm like, hey girl, let's get some muscle on there now. By the way, we can lose body fat either slowly, simultaneously, or first if you want. But let's just make sure you have muscle going into your 40s, 5060s, because right now you're going to look good in the later you're going to look good and still feel good. Unlike a lot of the ladies that I've worked with in the past. Yeah, no, thank you for that coming from from a doctor that cares about women's hormones and their metabolic health and their blood sugar.

It's so important that you are trying to get them for long term health and not just like a short, quick fix, which would be diets and these gimmicky plans that we see, you know, anywhere. They're out, they're everywhere. All the gimmicky weight loss, you know, click and bait kind of thing that appeals to that probably childhood trauma. I think it does, which is what makes jobs like yours and mine so much harder. Right. Again, because we're going back to that conversation of like short term sexy versus long term, like we're humans.

And we've been trained, especially in this generation, to want quick fixes and like instant dopamine hits. And that's so much easier to get. Yeah, it really is. Now you also say something that the 99% are not realistic for 99% of people. How does that fit in with what you do? Good question. I'm wondering where I saw that. Do you have is there more reference to that of like 99% of what I think it is? 99% not realistic for 99% of people, probably just with nutrition and diets. Yeah. So I mean, it goes back to the same conversation that we had in the beginning, like, yes, I've seen people do keto and be successful,

Metabolism, Muscle, and Sustainable Weight Loss 28:30

but realistically, like I've seen one person do keto and be successful for every 99 that have it right and so if I go and make a post smashing keto, I'm going to have somebody that's like, you're a jerk, you know, work for me. I'm like, great, I'm happy for you. But there's 100 other people behind you that are saying, yeah, go, Joe. Like it didn't work for me. And I'm using keto because it comes to mind. Don't get mad. We can we can put that in with paleo, carnivore, you name it. Like, what about me again?

What about vegan? What are your thoughts on vegan? I don't like it. I don't like it. Again. Like what my friend's wife is, is a vegan and she was a bikini competitor and she did a kickass job. She did a really good job. And I've been to barbecues at their house and she's given me pulled pork from her crock pot that was actually made of jackfruit. And I couldn't tell you can do it, but there's 99 other people for you that can't. And guess what? Like you got to get your protein and I love your rule of 120g of protein.

And if you have that rule of 120g of protein, you're a little person. Maybe you're not that active, which means you have a smaller calorie allowance. You're going to have a hell of a time getting in the protein you need and staying in that calorie allowance. Like good luck. Oh yeah. Especially with finding high quality vegan protein that has enough leucine in it to actually stimulate muscle growth. And I think that's a big argument. But yeah, and that's the thing your friend's wife like, is she really getting adequate muscle stimulation protein.

And you know, I don't know what she is, but if she, you know, enters her 40s in perimenopause, then she might fall off that cliff. Right? I guess, I guess you and me, if people come to us when they say they're like at the end, right? They're like, okay, I need I need this help right now. I'm willing to pay for it for the expertise and people with experience. I'm ready to go. And or they're so desperate because they are bouncing around and not getting help. But I will say I do have a couple of patients that are vegan.

They just they want to stay that way. They're not ready. I talk to them again and again about protein. I just don't think they're ever going to get to optimal health. Having a vegan diet as as their hormones are shifting. I can agree with you. My my friend's wife is in her 40s now. She she actually does a really good job. Like, she's got a good bit of muscle. She she's a hard worker. I can't take anything or knock anything from her. But I also agree with you. Like, I'd love it if most people would stop because 99% of the studies on on meat protein have been pretty biased, to say the least.

And, and like, it's just not going to help you. But at the same time, I'm not the guy that's going to sit here and preach to you about what to do. I'm just not. You guys come to me when you're ready, whoever you guys are, and I'll help. But I'm not going to try and sway you and say, hey, you're doing it wrong because you're doing it vegan, just not right, right? Because that's almost as bad as telling someone that they need to lose weight or they're, you know, it's going to hit that same point. And that's not that's not going to help them. Yeah.

So, what about metabolic issues that that come with the women you're seeing. What are the the top metabolic issues that, that you are seeing in these women that are struggling? It's just the calorie the calories that they can eat without waking. And it comes from, I would say, three different things. It comes from cardio over strength training. It comes from massive calorie deficits with not enough protein. And it comes from sorry, but being a female because at the age of 30 you naturally start losing muscle mass at 40.

That increases 50 increases again, 60 increases again. So it's this negative compound interest of losing muscle. And a lot of times I've realized that doesn't hit with people. Right. Great. Make the connection. And so if we don't have a lot of muscle on our body, we're not going to burn nearly as many calories. And if you're not burning nearly as many calories, well, guess what? When you eat a normal amount of calories, you're going to gain weight. And so that's why I'll have so many women come to me in their 40s or 50s.

And when I start learning about them, like, awesome. Well, what happen like when you start gaining weight like Joe? I don't get it. It was around. There's around like 40 or 40 5 or 50, like I change nothing. My job didn't change. I'm still playing pickleball with my friends and gardening. I'm still eating the same. Nothing changed, but but I started gaining weight. It's like, well, you nailed it. You absolutely nailed it. Nothing did change in what you were doing, but your body lost muscle. And so if you're continuing to eat the same amount of calories but you lose the ability to eat that amount of calories, guess what happens?

Weight gain. So we got to do something about that, right. And and it's a hard conversation to have, but it's pretty eye opening when somebody grasps it. Yeah. You can't just sit idly back and and stay stagnant and do the same stuff you did in your 20s or 30s when you're aging and your hormones are coming down, you got to got ahead of ammunition, you got to fight back and you got to be smarter about it. It was actually funny. Right before this podcast, I took my kids to the ice cream shop, and they they get to pick ice cream, like once a week or whenever they want if they turn in their homeschool points.

Anyway, the lady was so sweet at the shop and she's like, aren't you going to get anything? And I'm like, no, like I'm 43. Like, I don't need ice cream. Like I'm not going to no, I can't do that to my, you know, my body. I mean, I didn't say it like that, but she's so funny. She's like, oh, just go ahead and and you know, you deserve it. And I'm like, no, like we can say no. You know, when we're 40, we don't need to get ice cream with our kids every time. You can do it in the right time, you can steal a couple sips of theirs, you know, but you do need your own, like, large ice cream.

No, because our metabolisms different, our hormones are different. And maybe instead, go home and make a protein shake or bring it with you if you know you're getting ice cream with your kids. Sometimes I would do that. So we just we had to be smarter and we might say, oh, it's not fair or, I don't know, be sad about it. Or my neighbor down the street can eat whatever she wants. Well, you don't know what she's doing when she's at home by herself. And maybe she's lifting. But I don't know if you've seen in your clients that once you start building that muscle, you can you can play around a little more.

You can. You can indulge a little more. Like, why don't you talk about that? Because that's a really positive thing about building muscle. Yeah. So I mean, it's just the reverse order of what we said, right? If you're losing muscle, you can't eat that much. If you're gaining muscle and you have a good bit, guess what? You got some free time in your life and you can have that ice cream, or you can do what you want. Now, is there ever a time when you can do whatever you want 24 over seven. Now it's just not going to work, right?

Like you got to be doing the right things 80% of the time. And I don't care where you're at in your life. Like that is just a rule, a foundational rule that I think people should live by. But that other 20%, like, go have the ice cream or go have what you want. And by the way, when you have it, don't feel guilty. Don't feel ashamed because you know you've done good. The other parts of the the other parts of your life and you're going to be successful. So yeah, that's huge. Is is gaining the muscle.

What I see though is sometimes like, we'll get these ladies that they come to me eating 1200 calories a day, 800, a thousand, 1200, you name it. And and we'll start bringing them up in calories. Right? We'll go up to, let's say 16, 17, 1800. And as they're eating more, they start to let go of weight,

Working With Joe and Closing Remarks 36:30

which is amazing. And sometimes we'll let them stay there and we'll just ride that wave while we can. Or sometimes if they want to gain muscle, we'll keep pushing. We'll push up to 2000, 20, 400. I mean, we have a client right now. She's she's a little girl. She's eating 18, 28, 2850 calories a day. And and. God, it's so amazing the amount of food freedom she has. Yeah, yeah. I mean, since I had my last son, my five year old. Now, that is when I was like, I know the science. I'm going to just really push it after my pelvic floor and everything healed, and I'm really going to push it in the weight room.

And yeah, I can really eat a lot of calories now, which is nice. And you want to support support that muscle. So I think it's great that you are really supporting women where they need to be supported. And I think it's kind of funny coming from from you. I just think it's different. So I think it's great what you're doing. And in the community of women that you have, thank you a ton. It's fun from my perspective. That's for sure. Yeah. Well, Joe, I would love for you to tell everyone how they can work with you where they can find out more information about you and your programs.

And if you have another one of those, masterclasses coming up. Okay. Yeah. So if anybody wants to work with me, like, if you resonate deeply with what I said, just reach out to me, right. I think the best, the best way to to find out is just ask. Just ask me. We might be full at this point. I don't know when this is going to come out, but we're near full right now, and I won't let my coaches take on more clients because that means clients are going to suffer. So we're not doing that. But if somebody is struggling, the only thing that I want to share today, if somebody's struggling, they don't know where to start because they've started too many places and none of them worked.

I'd recommend you start with a quiz. And so I set up this free 62nd Fix Your Fat loss quiz, answer a couple questions, and you're going to get the solution to where you are. So number one, you're going to understand where your body is. But more importantly, you're going to understand where your body needs to go next in order to achieve the things that we talked about today and the ways we talked about, and so it's free. Just jump in there, take that. And then if anybody just wants to come spend some time with me, you can find me on Facebook or Instagram.

My name is Joe Hoy or Joe Diet Detox. And, that's it. All right. Awesome. Joe, thank you so much for sharing all your knowledge and your passion with us today. Thank you. And this was a blast. Appreciate it. That was such an informative podcast with Joe. I would love for you guys to share it with friends and family, and leave a review and tell me what you like best about the podcast. Thank you for tuning in to Doctor Talks. We hope today's episode has enlightened and inspired you on your path to optimal health.

Each day is a new opportunity to make choices that empower your well-being. For more insights and strategies, subscribe to our podcast and visit our website w ww di doctor talks.com. Stay connected, stay healthy and join us next time on Doctor Talks. Real talks from real doctors on the issues that matter to you most.