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Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Dr. Keesha Ewers is an integrative medicine expert, Doctor of Sexology, Family Practice ARNP, Psychotherapist, herbalist, is board certified in functional medicine and Ayurvedic medicine, and is the founder and medical director of the Academy for Integrative Medicine Health Coach Certification Program. Dr. Keesha has been in the medical field... Read More
Anna Cabeca, DO, OBGYN, FACOG, is triple-board certified and a fellow of gynecology and obstetrics, integrative medicine, and anti-aging and regenerative medicine. She has special certifications in functional medicine, sexual health, and bioidentical hormone replacement therapy. For the past 20 years, she’s served 10,000+ women in her private practice— and... Read More
- Grasp the power of oxytocin and how you can take advantage of it
- Get to the bottom of the stress, cortisol, and oxytocin connection that causes relational disharmony
- Untangle the relationship between hormones and sexual health
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Welcome back, everybody, to the Reverse Autoimmune Disease Summit 5.0. This is Healing Your Energy Body. And of course, we know that everything is energy, so there’s not anything that doesn’t have to do with healing your energy body. So I’m really excited to talk today to my dear friend, Dr. Anna Cabeca. And we’re going to talk a little bit about how we restore intimacy and sexual health. Again, a vibration. Vibration between you, yourself and you, and partners in the world that you have. So Dr. Anna is uniquely qualified to talk about this. She’s a triple board certified and fellow of gynecology and obstetrics. She’s also certified in integrated medicine, anti-aging and regenerative medicine. She has special certifications in functional medicine, sexual health, and bioidentical hormone replacement therapy. For the last 20 years, she served 10,000 plus women in her private practice and millions more through her books, online videos, and articles. When her own health took a troubling turn during menopause, she sought out the wisdom of healers around the world, and learned that modern medicine and time-tested natural remedies are not at odds. Working together, they create indisputable results and true wellbeing. Using delicious healing foods and simple lifestyle changes, Dr. Anna reclaimed her health and life. Fueled by her belief that every woman deserves to be empowered and in control of their health and life, she developed the Keto-Green lifestyle, which has helped thousands of women opt out of menopause misery and experience a joyful transition to the next stage of their lives. With her methods, you too can breeze through menopause into your second spring, feeling the best you ever have. Welcome to the summit, Dr. Anna.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
It is great to be here with you, Dr. Keesha. Thanks for having me.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
So we always do our interviews in, well, in this particular summit in two parts. And then this first part, we’re going to kind of build the basis of how is sexual health, how is menopause part of our vibrational healing, our energy body? What does this have to do with all of the things that I had just talked about? And then in the second part of the interview, for people that wanna dive a little bit deeper, we’re going to really talk about vaginal restoration and healing from vibrator trauma. When we talk about vibrational healing, we’re gonna get very literal.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Why not, right?
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Right. And vaginal restoration, and how to bring back that energy that is your life force vitality. So let’s start at the beginning and talk about menopause itself and how hormones change as we age and how they can affect this sexual energy that we’re talking about.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Yeah. So I think the biggest thing is recognizing that menopause is a hormonal transition. It’s a hormonal transition. And hormones are energy molecules. It’s an energetic transition, just like puberty is. There’s a transformation that occurs. And also in menopause, there’s a transformation that occurs. Not so rapid for men, it’s very subtle, but for women, it can be very rapid or can feel drawn out. And I wanna say menopause is natural and mandatory, suffering is optional. Suffering is optional. But understanding that we can’t just, okay, well, we’re gonna shut down, we’re gonna replace all your hormones, shut down your body’s natural communication system, and manage you through this way. No. That’s not the correct way to go about it because we have to rewire. It’s like there’s a network reboot that has to happen in this time of post reproductive years. And it’s really a time to honor our body, honor our transition, step into our power of force, our feminine energy, and to excel in that way.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
You know, you talked about sliding slowly through or dropping in. I was one of those kind of drive along and then it’s the cliff dive. And it was so interesting because everyone’s different in how they go through menopause. But for me, my face started to sag. It was so fascinating to me. I was watching it overnight go. And I realized menopause, as some of these hormones start to shift, it’s a pause to take inventory, take stock, right? And I realized I had about 25 pounds that didn’t belong here any longer and released those. And it’s a lot through the Keto-Green lifestyle that you talk about, that I did too. And so then my face stopped sagging. It was like everything stopped sagging because there wasn’t this extra heaviness. So a lot of the things that were heavy in my life, I started to release and become unburdened, got rid of a lot of stuff in my house. And so as these hormones change, it seems like they’re also the guardians of the gate for the next level of your development. And a lot of times when you think about hormones shifting, I mean, I don’t know. I think in our culture, people get a little anxious like, ooh, I’m gonna look old or I’m going to . And it just feels like the hormones are there as messengers to say, I mean, they are messengers, to say, let’s take a look at what’s not serving any longer. Is that your experience?
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Oh my goodness. Well, you say it so poetically and with such conscious communication, it just is really, really elegant. So I can’t say it as well as you, just to say, but yes. I mean, it is the unburdening. Women will say why I no longer tolerate that. I am holding stronger boundaries. We’ve lifted this reproductive hormonal haze, so we can be really clear what’s at my core. What’s important to me? What are my needs versus my wants? We have to do that work. This is a calling for us to shed the old, shed the grief, shed the pain, and look forward to first of all, stand fully in our presence and the presence of others that we choose to be in our world, really creating this community, this family of good, healthy connections. Ideally, we have the strength to do that, so physical strength to enhance emotional strength during this transition time and well beyond. It’s part of that necessary evolution to have that empowerment. And that’s the one thing that I totally recognized in my own life. So that’s where the Keto-Green way came, to maintain the physiology, to have that presence, have that clarity, have that peace, and have the ability of discernment. It’s like, “Oh yeah, what we eat can help us discern?” Heck yeah. Heck yeah. And then plus you’re discerning better about what you eat. So there’s that to gain this energetic clarity, but I think we want to look at it, we need to rename menopause, first of all. You know, the Japanese say the word second spring, kanreki. And I like that. The second spring of our life, how would I do this? And we can look back and say, what would I have told my children to do, now that we have the fog, the reproductive haze, or my 20 year old self to do for the next two decades? So lift that reproductive help, the reproductive haze, hormonal haze, and move into the second spring of our lives.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
That’s beautiful. And I think that a lot of times, like I was saying, I was starting to get jowly and some of these other things, and instead of being anxious about it or . it was, oh, there’s something there that is asking to leave. Right? And so I think that this is a really, really important discussion. And you have some pillars of a Keto-Green life that you talk about. I would love to have you go through those.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Yeah. There’s some key steps that we take for Keto-Green life. And one of the things I recognize in The Girlfriend Doctor community, the four pillars I focus on is the first one is how we nourish ourselves. How we nourish our body, how we nourish our mind, the thoughts we keep and the thoughts we release. So nourishment is key. And the second one is shine. And shining from when you’re, like how you release those jowls. When you’re have healing from the inside out, and also the outside in, very conscientious of looking healthy is the best compliment I can get. So shining, and then the third is awaken, and that’s where we awaken our mind with more information. We never stop learning. I had an old professor, Dr. Cullen Richardson at Emory University Department of OB-GYN, who was one of my mentors. And he would say, at 85, still operating in the operating room, he would say, “Dr. Anna, I’m doing the same thing tomorrow that I’m doing today.
It’s cause I was too lazy or stupid overnight to learn a better way.” So I like that he was continuing to learn and to develop his technique at that. That’s why he was the best of the best. And then the fourth one is about embrace. The pillar is embrace. Those are the four pillars that we use in my community and my framework, and it’s embracing each other. At the end of the day, the most important thing in our lives are our relationships. Did I love well? Did I live well? Was I well loved? And at the end of the day, that is the most important thing, so let’s bring that to today and every day, how do we embrace those in our lives? And how do I embrace my own self-talk? Especially going through menopause, recognizing that this is a time of evolution and strength into even higher energy, power, and beauty than I’ve ever experienced in my life. That comes from within and radiates out, and then that’s perceived.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
That’s a really important, Someone said to me, I was referring to myself as the little old lady librarian in the basement in human design, who is the investigator and just is always pouring through information and bringing it back to the community. And she looked at me and she says, “Little old lady smoking hot library.” And I remember saying, “Well, I was just embracing my crone as I’m moving into the stage of life.” And she reminded me, she said, “Yeah, crone is juicy if you nourish it.” Right? If you nurture that. And we started talking about that. She said something about being 20 years old and then 30 years old and then 40 years old, and where we were inside of the relationship of ourselves and our skin, with the people that we love. And in my twenties, I was so driven. When I was 30, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease.
When I was 40, I got breast cancer. I mean, I honestly, at this stage of life, I’ve been really the most vital that I’ve ever been, and freer than I’ve ever been from a lot of the mental stuff and emotional stuff that plagued me from trauma from my childhood. And I thought, yeah, you’re right. This stage and age of being the crone or the matriarch of the community, the elder, the eldress of your community, it can be juicy. And that’s one of the things we’re gonna be talking about in our second portion is how to make sure that’s true on a physical level. But the juiciness, as you were just saying, it happens from an emotional, spiritual, mental place from the inside of you and just shines. I love the fact that shine is one of the pillars. You do shine when you have that space that has been freed up and you’ve gotten in touch with the divinity that you’re linked to. And you know that that feeds you and that’s your source of power, not trauma bonding with relationships out here, but with the divine that’s inside of you.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
So good. So good. And I think about that, I wanna do my twenties, thirties, forties and today. In my twenties, super driven, burning the candle at both ends. And in my thirties, having babies and burning out with a diagnosis of early menopause and infertility. And in my forties, recognizing that I’m following the medical path of my mother. And if I don’t change things in a few years, I would be dead. And I promised her, I promised her I would find a better way. And in my fifties, now, I’m 55 with a grandbaby and I’m feeling better in my body. And it’s so funny because I feel better in my body now. And that’s liberating.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
That’s freedom. That’s it, right? That liberation from all of that, having to be motivated from approval from the outside, success perceived, whatever it is that comes from outside to this dropping in and having it come from the inside out, because you know that you’re worth is not subject to anything outside of you. It’s at a hundred percent all the time. And that does shine. That does shine and it you’re definitely shiny. So I really appreciate what you bring. So you have a book that was just published this year, MenuPause. We talked about it on Facebook Live and with a couple of interviews, but I would love to have you talk a little bit about that book and what comes from that that people need to know, like these different plans. How do you say, oh, my body’s telling me that it’s tired of carrying around some extra weight, or my body’s saying you’re not feeding me enough, how do I nourish it better? Where do we find that space?
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Yeah. So this has been quite a journey also with my creating programs in developing the plan. I’m gonna sneeze.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Bless you.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Oh my goodness. Thank you.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
It’s just so funny when it warns you so many seconds ahead.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
And I’m like, okay, let me just tell you, give myself a second to mute, and then here I go. Oh my gosh. So one of the big things is with MenuPause, I’m working with women through transition, as well as myself. There are five different pauses. And I always like to say there’s beauty in the pauses of our lives or there’s magic in the pauses of our lives. And menopause is one of those. And MenuPause, Menupauses that we make are really critical, and it’s all based on, okay, we want to empower our physiology so that we think better, feel better, have the highest vibration that we can. So it’s what you eat, but also when you eat and the food combination. So I created five plans that incorporate the five biggest pauses. And the first one is the Keto-Green Extreme. So really focusing on healthy fats for the keto and high quality protein, and the alkalinizers, herb, spices, greens to add in. So the carbs come from that, not from fruits, et cetera, and no grains. And it’s grain-free, dairy-free, of course, gluten-free plan. Keto-Green Extreme is also follows the autoimmune protocol. So there’s no nightshades or peppers and no mushrooms or eggplants. So it’s a very low inflammatory plan, because sometimes people with autoimmune disease, especially Hashimotos or MS really react to those foods, but you don’t know until you eliminate it. Honestly, it takes just six days within elimination to say, okay, I can feel the difference with this. So that’s why each plan is only six days. It’s that, what’s what can I do this week? It’s doable. It’s doable and it’s simple. So that’s Keto-Green Extreme. And the second plan is completely plant-based.
Because we pause meets to increase, we know from research, all the blue zones have higher plant-based diets. And also, the higher plant diversity in our diet, the more diversity within our gut bacteria or the microbiome. And that relates to stronger immune system, as well as longevity. And also to eliminate constipation, which is a common problem in women and men as we get older, but especially when we’re doing more of a ketogenic diet. So this is a vegan plan that is game-changing for vegans cauSE they typically are eating way too many carbs. So it’s a Keto-Green vegan plan. And then the third plan is pausing all vegetables. And it’s a carnivore-ish plan. It’s a carnivore-ish plan. Very strictly low carbohydrate, so those clients with Candida issues, with eczema, psoriasis, sometimes just can’t, you know, the intestinal lining is challenged and digestion is challenge. So giving rest to all the plant foods to decrease any adverse effect that they’re having, especially gas bloating and digestive issues. So we go to the complete carnivore plan. And then the fourth plan is a cleanse. It’s a smoothie cleanse and bone broth cleanse or alkaline broth if you’re vegetarian, for six days to really improve the intestinal lining. And so that’s the plan that you do see quick results, especially in your skin and that’s beautiful. And then the fifth plan is sometimes people have been doing keto-green plan for so long or a keto plan for so long that I have to add back carbohydrates into their life.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
And I think rotating is really important because people become carbohydrate intolerant, and they’ll lose weight on a carnivore style diet, and then their liver will get fatty. They wind up developing fatty liver or they don’t know that they’re an APOE4 SNP carrier in their genetics, and they wind up having brain fog and being at risk for Alzheimer’s and heart disease further around down the road. So it’s good to be able to have some flexibility and fluidity with these six day plans that allow you to do a reset. So I love the principles of the MenuPause program that you have.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, the pauses are necessary and we get stuck in doing something. So changing things up is critically important, plus variety. There are seasons for a reason. So intellectually, and this is a hard to thing to study. Right? Have we ever studied rotating diets and individuals? No. But in my online community, we’ve been doing this. Now we’re seeing tremendous results. Like we get good results and then we get better results. Like, okay, we get stuck, we break through. And that’s our evolution, but what I need maybe different than what you need to break through a plateau or whatsoever, and intuitively getting really clear and saying, oh, well I feel like really lifting the fog so that we can discern, well, this is good for me. This is good for me at this time or this season. And then being willing to not hold a legalistic view and say, well, I can’t.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Yeah. An evangelical attachment to it, right? Everybody should be following this cause this is my result. Yeah.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Exactly. Exactly.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
So one of the things I discover going through menopause is that my body didn’t need as much food as I’d been feeding it up until that point. It needed more exercise, less food. And one of the things I use to really give people exercise prescriptions that match their bodies is to do adrenal and hormone testing and see where those adrenals are. So people will ask me about intermittent fasting, and I’m sure people are wondering that right now, like, is that part of the keto-green plan? And I just wanna throw in kind of the same thing that Dr. Anna and I have been saying, individualization is key. And I get questions about what about a seven day water fast, or what about this kind of fast, like very aggressive fasting. And if you have phase 3 adrenal fatigue and your hormones are bottomed out, that is one of the worst things that you can do. So part of this, what we’re talking about is to really know what your body’s asking for, which is why the rotating is so important, right?
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Mm-hmm. Yeah. And to be able to discern that, and I think too, with also honoring the intelligent design of our bodies, honoring that intelligent design, because it’s not gonna be the same thing every day for the rest of our lives.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Yeah. Which is why I think anyone that is in a menopause age category can look back and see the truth of that. Like what worked for you at one point, maybe isn’t going to work at another point.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Oh my gosh, that’s so true, Keesha. I always say the weight gain without doing anything different. Right?
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Right.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
That was my story. It was true. When my patients used to come into me and I was a young doctor in my thirties, and they said, “Dr. Anna, I’m gaining weight without doing anything different,” and I’m using air quotes here. And I would be like, yeah, sure. I’m like, sure, you’re not. Like what’s in your bag, you’re just more sedentary, maybe you’re picked up another TV show or you’re driving through for dinners and I was really skeptical, but I would do all the workout and try to figure things out. You monitor thyroid, address any hormone issues, inflammation. Then when it happened to me, 20 pounds without doing anything different, I’m like, God will make me humble. There’s always another lesson to learn. I’m like, okay, they were truthful. And that’s where my books came from. Especially Keto-Green 16, 13 weight control hormones, how they change as we age, and understanding we’re in a rewiring, we honor that, support it, create the safe container for it. And then we step into our truth, our power, know our worth.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Yeah. And the idea that in Ayurvedic medicine 10,000 years ago, they used to say, don’t eat more than what you can put in your hand, like in a cupped hand, which is sort of like a rice bowl. Don’t eat more than that. And I remember as a runner in my twenties and then breastfeeding for children through my thirties, I thought there’s no way I can follow that. And now, actually this morning, I just did the third round over the last four months of trying on my clothes and getting rid of stacks and stacks and stacks. I’ve whittled it down to just very few things in my closet that fit me anymore. And it is that, oh, I understand now. I understand that this is really all that I need now that I’m not breastfeeding, now that I’m not running around. And I’m exercising and I’m holding space for community, I’m doing all these things, but it’s different. And it just feels very much like my body says, yeah, you don’t. You’re feeding me more spiritually, emotionally, mentally now, and I need less physically in terms of caloric intake, which is fascinating because it’s not counting calories, it’s not watching anything, it’s just really listening and being in tune. And so I think that as we age and we get closer to that veil of moving through into the next stage that it is supposed to be that we thin out a bit and we are less reliant and less earth heavy, less earthy. So that’s kind of what has come forward for me anyway, and again, we’re all gonna be different, but I’m curious if that’s your experience and what you hear from your clients.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
I mean, it’s interesting perspective and I’m visualizing that, and I think it will be different based on what your evolution or stage has been. I think for me, for instance, I feel like I’m more earth. I’m more mother earth energy. I am less up here, and reigning it in, and maybe there’s still evolution to happen, I’m sure. Of course, there’s a lot of evolution to happen. At the stage I’m in now at 55 and as a grandmother, it is like I am more in my presence. I’m more in my presence and I feel more grounded in earth energy than I ever, and this linear connection, like I said, we’re audience of one, is this pleasing and right in the eyes of God, and in my world, in my practice and my spiritual practice. So I’m feeling this very linear where I’ve been like that for so long, I’m coming here. So I’m very in tune. Okay, let me really practice this, and then what’s next? I’d be curious.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Yeah. See, everybody. Yeah. It’s just so beautiful. And I think the pause is getting in touch with that, wherever I am now,
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Exactly.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
what’s my relationship with food, with other people, with the divine, with the planet. Yeah, exactly. So beautiful. Then we’ll have another talk from Dr. Anna that’s gonna take us deeply into revitalizing the energy of your sexual health. You know, I think a lot of people have a lot of drying that happens in a women as they go through menopause, vaginal dryness becomes a reality, and some drying of their cognitive function and their bowels, like constipation, memory loss. In Ayurvedic medicine, we’ve called that Vata imbalances. So let’s talk about how to keep this stage of life juicy, shall we?
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
I so wanna talk about this yesterday, Keesha, in my Girlfriend Doctor Club membership live that I do twice a month. One of the women, Joanne, she just shared something so beautiful. Cause I was talking about feeling worthy in our journeys and she goes, “Dr. Anna,” and then she goes to saying, “thank God for you because you’ve helped me resurrect my body, resurrect my sex life, which had been dead for years, and I’m in the best relationship with my husband in our lives.” And that was so humbling for me, and I’m still in awe as I reflect on that, I’m like, oh my gosh, but woman I see is so energetic and so sexy. Then she’s like her sex life was dead for years until she felt that empowered energy, she received higher sexual energy and able to magnify it. She was able to reignite desire within herself, and that is irresistible in a relationship.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Oh, for sure. So there are certain aspects of, I don’t know, this stage of life when it comes to vaginal health. And one of the things as we are talking about what you wanted to put in this section is vibrator trauma. And I wanted to have you lead with that. Let’s talk a little bit about that.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Yeah. There are natural changes that happen when we age, with loss of integrity to the muscle and the connective tissue and the dryness that occurs. Now we can reverse that, so that’s part of the resurrection of sexual function. But also the concept of using vibrators, needing more higher powered vibrators to receive an orgasm. And what happens to the nerve, especially in the clitoris, I mean, thousands of nerve end, what do we think? 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris? Thousands of nerve endings, and these are delicate. So they can be damaged, traumatized by vibrator usage. And this is a real phenomenon. And to heal from that, it’s important to recognize we need to gently resurrect those nerves too. And so we can do this with really light touch. Really light touch. And I like that orgasmic meditation practice, the practice to just do very light clitoral stimulation, we say it is a partner practice. And it is with good healthy guidelines. So you’re receiving this light touch without an obligation to have sex. And so it is that part of resurrecting the nerve endings. And definitely the clitoris is vulnerable, but so is the vulvar area and the vaginal walls are vulnerable to vibrator trauma as well. So go exploring and pausing. I’m all about the magic and the pauses. Pausing. This can be incredibly powerful to improving your sexual receptivity response and sensual pleasure, so you really can feel every light touch again, and also being able to recognize what feels good for you.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Yeah. I think there’s something that happens often with women where they don’t recognize that the treasure map that they are has to be explored by them first. And if you really love me,
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Well said.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
then you’ll be able to read me, you’d be able to know how to turn me on. It’s like, well, no.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
No.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
You actually need to be aware of where the treasure lies for yourself first so you can point to that area.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Could you introduce me to that guy that does that? You find him?
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Yeah. Right?
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Who could read my mind and know my treasure map without me. Yeah. We could find that one.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Yeah. You know, so much is psychological in the bedroom. These belief structures that we put in place. And I would imagine that in menopause and andropause, one of those belief structures can be, I’m not attractive or I’m aging, I’m older, that therefore not sexy or attractive or whatever it is, right? And I don’t know. Part of what the woman that was talking to you from your community, it’s the same thing we were talking about in the first part of our conversation, where if you feel that inside of yourself, it shines through. So you become magnetic when you are really fully aware of your own sensuality and your beauty. Right?
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Absolutely. Absolutely. And I love to reawaken that. I mean, I had to resurrect it in myself.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Me too.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
I had to resurrect that. There’s probably 10 years in my marriage where I didn’t even orgasm. And it’s not for a lack of trying. It was very interesting phenomenon for me as we end up teaching what we most needed to heal from. And so being able to awaken that, to be multiorgasmic in my mid-fifties, where that was never even considered a possibility. I thought I was just one of those numbers, part of women, 25%, that never orgasm during intercourse. And so reawakening that is really powerful. And it’s often with the pauses, with the lightest touch, but also knowing what you like, and then being able to play and express yourself and receive love and affection. And in my program, Sexual CPR, talks about resurrecting and actually just didn’t realize that she used the word resurrection. So sexual CPR, like cardiopulmonary resuscitation, well, same thing for our sex drive.
So I have a program called Sexual CPR. They’re two secrets that I want every woman and every man to know. And the first is that women need to understand that he wants her pleasure. And women at any age, at any age, his goal is her arousal is his arousal. And I’ve asked some of the most chauvinistic guys on this planet, seriously. And I was like, “Well, what’s your number one turn on?” Well, her turn on is his number one turn on. It’s not like, oh, I need to come, I need to ejaculate, I need to whatever. No. Her turn on, that’s his biggest turn on. And women need to hear that and receive that and claim it and embrace it and encourage it. You have to give nothing back but your pleasure. And first, own that.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
And I would say that that’s same sex too. We’re not just talking about heterosexual couples when we say that your partner’s turn on is going to be the thing that says, okay, I wanna dive in this pool.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Yeah.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Yeah.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
So the second secret is that the oxytocin affects women and men differently. Oxytocin, the most powerful hormone in our body, the most alkalinizing. And I weave this into my whole keto-green concept because oxytocin is very alkalinizing, physiologically, to our body. Whereas cortisol, the stress hormone, is very acidifying to our body. And we can measure that by urine test strips, which I always tell clients, use the keto-pH urine test strips, check your urine every time you use the bathroom, this is part of your healing and self discovery. It’s a vital sign. So oxytocin works with men differently, has effect on men differently than it has on women. And I’ll illustrate this with a couple I had, Keesha, that came to my medical practice. And they’d been married 15 years, and he’s like, “Dr. Anna, I mean, she has great orgasms, but she never wants to initiate sex.” And she’s like, “Yeah, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” And I asked him, “Well, what do you do after you guys have sex?” And he said, “Huh?” I’m like, “What do you do after you guys have sex?” And he says, “Well, I roll over and go to sleep.” I’m like, “Exactly.” At that point, she needs the connection, the intimacy. How did this feel, what you love about each other, just that connection time for two minutes, as long as it takes you to put on a tie, to brush your teeth, to shave, you can use those two minutes after intercourse to nurture that intimacy.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
No one’s getting away with just two minutes in my world.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
And again, being able to say I need more. I need more. But that intimacy and that time to connect, that’s the reward. That’s the reward for women with oxytocin. And so being able to communicate that with your partner is really powerful. And they came back in two months later and she’d initiated sex half the time. And so it was just authentically. Authentically.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Yeah.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Because there’s that you’re filling my tank and that’s what I needed to orgasm. The climax was good. That was great, I love it. But when you fill my tank what I want to feel connected is that I’m seeing into me you see, that you’re seeing me, and there’s that intimacy. So I think it’s really lovely. And it’s these two secrets that I think are game-changing, certainly has been in my world, and in my coaching world, and I’m always learning more things.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Now you have a product that I really like that we’ll talk more about in another video. But when we talk about vaginal dryness for women that are in peri, pre, and postmenopause, Yep. Where is it?
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Oh my gosh. It’s so funny cause I’m carrying it around in my bag. I have my own. I pulled some out for me cause I’m traveling this week, and I have my lip duo formula.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
So this lip duo is so adorable because not only do you get vaginal dryness sometimes, postmenopause, which I, thank goodness, have not actually experienced yet, hopefully, I won’t. But I’ve had my physical lips, those have dried and had created some lines around them until I started using your Kiss. You sent that to me and I went, “Oh, this is fun.” And I started using it, I was like, “Wow, this is amazing.”
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Thank you.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Let’s talk about the drying up of the different kinds of lips on a female body and what to do.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
It’s so funny. I felt really strongly to bring out an upper lip formula to break the stigma of talking about it. I mean, really we recognize that there’s a natural shift. Well, naturally, I’m having laugh lines, smile lines, and I’m embracing them. I saw Botox five years ago. So over five years ago now. I mean, think it’s really, that shift too. I want to age beautifully. I look at what will that look like as I age. So anyway. So it’s happening here at the most important real estate of our body, from my perspective, clutter is to anus. That affects our quality of life so much, right? If you have incontinence, if you have anal fissures or hemorrhoids, if you have vaginal dryness, pain with sex, discharge after sex, so I say at The Girlfriend Doctor, it’s my branding, The Girlfriend Doctor, we take care of your lips above and below your hips. So we take away that stigma. I really hope so. I hope that’s received well, I definitely look forward to feedback. But I want that to be received well because we’re just aging, that’s okay, but what can we do to reverse the things that matter most to us?
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
I did not wanna do fillers and Botox, I never have. So I was just heading into the road of, okay, I guess I’m gonna have, and the lip thing actually makes you look a little bit mean. So I was kind of sad about that. And so I was really excited when that just took away that upper lip thing. So I really appreciate the product very much so.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Oh my gosh. Thank you. And it was so funny because it was in my early forties where I went to one of the makeup counter. I love Christian Dior Red, and the woman at the counter, she’s like, “Use this wax to prevent lipstick bleeds from those fine lines.” I was like, “What? What fine lines? It was like, “What? What do I have? What do I need?” I was like, “Uh-uh”. That’s when I started doing some lip Botox and lip fillers. And then I think I was at 48 when I stopped all of that.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Well, Zoom does it for me? Look at this.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Oh, you look gorgeous. Gorgeous.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Look. The lipstick.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Oh, funny.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Find your zoom filters, everybody. You can put your lipstick on.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Oh my gosh. Really?
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Yeah.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
I need that filter.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
It’s already on there. It’s under studio filters. We’re gonna teach everyone a little Zoom trick here.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Oh my god. Video filters. Maybe I need to do an upgrade.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
It’s under Studio Effects, and it has mustache and eyebrows, but it has lips and they work, and you can pick what color of lipstick you want and put it on.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Oh my gosh.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
How lighter or dark do you want it?
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
You guys, Keisha’s teaching me this stuff. This is so good. This is so good, I got to find this.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
The only thing you have to be careful of is you don’t constantly go like that.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Oh. And then it goes in and out. That is so fun. Oh, I love filters.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Yeah. So I discovered that and went, “Well, that’s fun.” So I don’t have to have a bunch of different colors of lipstick, I could just have Zoom to it for me.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Oh yeah. And I’m addicted to the reds. I love the reds. So you definitely see those with lipstick bleeds.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Yeah. Yeah.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
So that doesn’t happen anymore. And then when I realized that I started using Julva, the product I created, I’m like, it’s gonna work here too. And I would tell people all the time, like, use my JVA for the vulva, on your upper lips too. They’re like, “Oh, Dr. Anna, I can’t use that for my upper lips. I’m like, “Yes, you can.” They’re like, “Huh?” So I was like, “Well, let me see what I can do for our upper lips” . And I was like, yeah. Cause I’m committed to my Christian deal red for a lifetime or light color, maybe more.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Well, Dr. Anna, you have graciously gifted our audience the keto-green recipes gift. And do you wanna talk just a little bit about that before we close?
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Yes. I wanna give everyone an experience with some amazing keto-green recipes, has some dessert recipes too that are just delicious. So 15 keto-green recipes to get you started in understanding the keto-green lifestyle and what a keto green plate looks like. So you guys definitely download that and check that out.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
Ah, thank you so much. Thank you, Dr. Anna.
Anna Cabeca, DO, FACOG
Thank you.
Keesha Ewers, PhD, ARNP-FNP-C, AAP, IFM-C
All right, everybody, until next time. Be well.
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