Full Transcript Introduction to Resilience 0:00 It's all connected. 0:00 Well, first of all, I think it's important to, to know that everybody is resilient 0:05 to a certain extent. Right. 0:07 The fact that you got out of the world and you're here 0:10 and you've gotten you've gotten everybody's been knocked down. 0:15 I don't know how many times. 0:16 And it's and it's still here listening to the show. 0:18 So the notion that you're not resilient is incorrect. 0:22 So everybody is resilient. 0:24 And resilient is about the ability to be able to bounce back after adversity. 0:30 So we've all done that. 0:31 The question is how well are we bouncing back. 0:33 We bouncing back broken. 0:35 We bouncing back stronger. 0:37 So if you look at athletes 0:38 that put themselves under a lot of stress, they come back stronger, faster, better. 0:42 Welcome to Doctor Talks the podcast where every episode leads to a healthier you. 0:48 Join us as we navigate the world of optimal health, 0:51 uncovering groundbreaking strategies to conquer chronic disease. 0:54 In each episode, we'll bring you the latest insights 0:57 from leading health experts, medical innovators, and wellness warriors. 1:01 If you're seeking to transform your health journey, or if you're looking 1:05 for answers to burning questions, you've come to the right place. 1:09 Get ready to unlock the secrets of lifelong health and vitality. 1:13 This is Doctor Talks, 1:15 real talk from real doctors on the issues that matter to you most. 1:21 Hi everyone. 1:22 Welcome back to the Integrative Health Podcast with Doctor Jen. 1:26 Today we're going to be talking to Doctor Eva Shalhoub. 1:30 She is an internationally recognized resiliency expert, 1:34 physician, author, keynote speaker, and spiritual advisor.
Guest Background and Career Path 1:37 Doctor Eva served as an instructor of medicine at Harvard Medical School 1:41 and as a clinical associate of the world renowned Benson Henry Institute 1:45 for Mind Body Medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital for close to 20 years, 1:50 serving as our medical director for six of those years. 1:53 She now works with clients and companies, and serves on a variety of boards 1:57 to refine the ways in which we approach resilience, health and leadership, 2:01 encouraging her audience to believe in the possibility of transformation, of 2:05 connecting with one's spiritual core and discovering 2:08 optimal resilience and light and connectedness, joy and fulfillment. 2:11 She's the author of six books, including burnout for dummies, resilience 2:16 for dummies, Your Health Destiny, The Stress Management Handbook, 2:20 The Love Response, and coauthor of Your Brain on Nature. 2:24 And I know we all really get burned out and need resilience. 2:28 So this is so great that we're going to have this discussion today. 2:31 Welcome, Victor Salahub. 2:33 Thank you for being here today. 2:34 Thank you for having me. 2:36 Awesome. Yes. 2:37 Well, let's talk a little bit of how you even got into this as a physician. 2:43 Were you burnt out yourself or did you find people around? 2:47 You were burnout. And how do you. 2:50 I would say yes or no. 2:52 I got into this, really early on in my career. 2:56 So when I was, when I was a resident, I was training at Boston 2:59 Medical at Boston City Hospital at the time in Boston Medical Center. 3:03 I was planning on going into being intensivist and pulmonary medicine, 3:07 intensive care medicine. 3:09 And in 1996, we had a very large 3:13 population of, HIV positive patients. 3:16 And I was, I stuck I got stuck with an HIV needle and HIV infested 3:21 needle, was a very big exposure 3:24 in 1996 was basically a death sentence. 3:27 And, the NIH had just come out 3:29 with a, a study on a post-exposure prophylactic cocktail. 3:33 And I was one of the first people on it to, prevent conversion. 3:38 And it was a six weeks of being on 14 different pills a day. 3:42 And, essentially, I, I did not have a lot of good coping skills. 3:47 And I spent six weeks crying a lot. 3:50 Worrying a lot. 3:51 Concerned that I was, you know, 3:52 going to die with a huge loan debt that my parents are going to have to pay. 3:56 That I was going to die alone, that no one's going to love me. 3:59 That I was going to suffer, that I was going to, you know, be sick. 4:02 And, you know, what have I done? 4:03 And I went through just a whole series of of emotions 4:06 and in fear and physical pain because of the medications made me quite sick. 4:12 And, and during that time I just that there must be something more than this. 4:16 And I, you know, I vow that if I get through this, 4:19 I'm going to really give my life over to service. 4:22 It was, you know, pretty big. 4:24 Needless to say, I did not convert to HIV, however, that that year 4:29 was a sort of a five month period where, you know, that brought me to my knees. 4:33 So I sort of sort of rallied. I said, I'm okay. 4:36 I'm just going to going to follow a midwife around. 4:38 I'm going to be there for the for the needy. 4:40 I'm going to take care of people. I'm going to be more compassionate. 4:43 And then my dog died. My grandfather died. 4:46 Somebody started her rice raising me and writing letters to the medical board. 4:49 I take them to court. 4:51 My apartment burned down and I lost everything and didn't 4:53 have renter's insurance. 4:54 And my father had a heart attack all within five months. 4:57 So, needless to say, 1996 was a devastating year. 5:01 However, it was also a year that brought me to my knees. 5:04 I became quite depressed. 5:06 I just didn't want to live. 5:08 And during this five month period of just kind of living in this darkness, 5:12 I don't know what happened. 5:15 I just lived in darkness for five months, and then I just came out of it one day 5:19 when a friend pulled me out and said, we miss you. 5:22 And I tell this story so many times, but I just don't even know what happened 5:27 though. 5:27 I woke up and I as I realized it was asking the wrong question. 5:32 I'd been walking around saying, why me, why me? 5:34 Why me? 5:34 Feeling really victimized by my circumstance that every time 5:37 I pulled myself up, I'd get knocked down and pull myself up and get knocked out. 5:41 And I just didn't have the energy to get back up. 5:44 And I thought to myself, you're asking the wrong question. 5:47 The question isn't, why me? It's why not me?
The Needle Stick and Burnout Journey 5:50 Nature. 5:50 Just as soon as a forest fire burn has a flower bloom, it's not personal. 5:53 You're taking life personally. 5:56 When life just happens 5:57 and you have a choice of either being a victim of life 5:59 or a creator of life, a co-creator of life. 6:03 So that's when I knew that I had work to do, 6:06 that I had some work to do that I had to learn about what resilience 6:11 was all about, because it had a spectrum that we fall and get back up. 6:15 But if we stop getting back up, that's burnout. 6:18 And I wanted to learn more about that. 6:20 And that's when I started working at the Mind-Body Medical Institute 6:22 with her Benson to learn about stress in mind body medicine 6:26 and not only apply it to my own life, but apply it to my patients life. So. 6:30 So I started pretty early on, and it's been a road all along the way. 6:34 So that's, you know, almost 30 years of having moments 6:39 when I am enlivened in moments and I feel a little burnt out, worked out 6:42 and developing, coping still coping tools that not only help me but help others. 6:49 Oh, that's that's quite a story. 6:51 I yeah, I got stuck once in resonance or no, 6:55 it was after a residency and I was doing a dental block on someone 6:59 and they like grabbed my hand out of their mouth and it stuck me. 7:03 And it's very scary. 7:06 If for those of you that work in the medical field, you realize this. 7:10 It's it's very scary. 7:11 But yeah, resilience is something 7:13 that we're not really taught about in medical school. 7:17 That's another thing that's crazy. 7:18 We're just told to power through it. 7:21 And and that comes like a lot of depression. 7:23 There was a suicide in my medical class, 7:28 and there was one after my residency, like, after I left. 7:33 And it's. 7:35 We just need to talk about this stuff. 7:37 It's hard. It's not easy to talk about. 7:39 And we need to realize that we have to 7:42 communicate these feelings with people if we're feeling burnt out. 7:46 I was reading, Philippians two in the Bible and just. 7:51 Yeah, like, if you're in jail, you know, Paul's in jail, and he's 7:55 he's asking God, you know, like, if I die, I'll be with you, 7:58 but I know I'm supposed to be here and do more good work. 8:01 So if we're wallowing in the sadness, we're not able to help others. 8:05 So we need to talk about it when we're in those hard times. 8:08 So how do 8:11 how could you explain in an easy way to those listeners 8:15 out there how resilience can impact our health? 8:19 Because it is connected. 8:21 It's all connected. 8:22 Well, first of all, I think it's important to, 8:24 to know that everybody is resilient to a certain extent. 8:28 Right? 8:29 I mean, the fact that you got out of the womb and you're here and you've gotten 8:33 you've gotten everybody's been knocked down. 8:36 I don't know how many times. 8:37 And it's and it's still here listening to the show. 8:40 So the notion that you're not resilient is incorrect. 8:44 So everybody is resilient. 8:46 And resilient is about the ability to be able to bounce back after adversity. 8:51 So we've all done that. 8:53 The question is how well are we bouncing that? 8:55 Are we bouncing back broken or bouncing back stronger. 8:58 So if you look at athletes that put themselves under a lot of stress, 9:02 they come back stronger, faster, better, you know, physically anyway. 9:05 So and then there's the mental toughness that comes along with it. 9:09 And that allows them to like to really thrive. 9:11 So if we want to look at resilience, think of it as a bell shaped curve 9:15 that, you know, there's sort of the middle ground which we call wellness. 9:19 And then there's other ground or we call burnout or fitness 9:23 where we just can't get back up anymore. 9:24 The systems just doesn't have any more oomph anymore, no energy. 9:29 And on the other hand, where we've gotten better, 9:31 where we either call that homeostasis, which is getting stronger 9:35 and in, from stress, or we call it 9:37 flourishing, where we just, you know, we're just better. 9:40 We're stronger, we're better, 9:42 we're more acute, more and more energized as a result of the adversity. 9:46 So it's remembering that it's not about not having adversity. 9:50 It's how we learn to cope with it and then thrive as a result of it. 9:54 And that's very, very much connected to our health and well-being 9:57 because it's connected to our stress response. 9:59 And our stress response is connected to everything, to our entire body 10:03 and how it operates 10:04 and how it adapts to any changes that happen in to our environment. 10:08 And that stress response involves every system of the body, 10:11 from the cardiovascular to the gastrointestinal to your mental. 10:15 And when the body's under a challenge that response gets activated. 10:19 And if the brain believes 10:21 that challenge is not manageable, it'll be hyper activated. 10:24 So that means more inflammation, an increase 10:27 in heart rate, an increase in muscle tension, 10:29 a decrease of serotonin and dopamine, which are the neurotransmitters 10:33 that help our mood. 10:34 So when we're not in balance and when we can't correct that response, 10:39 we can't find adequate coping, 10:42 the system is going to get hyper activated until such time that it burns out. 10:46 So it's very much physiologically connected to our health. 10:50 Yeah. 10:51 And I think one pet peeve of mine is 10:55 when doctors tell their patients, hey, just stop stressing. 10:59 And I'm like, oh my gosh, like you're 11:01 there's always going to be any kind of stressor. 11:03 And everyone's level is kind of 11:05 at different of their stress and what they can cope with. 11:08 But I tell them, we're going to work on your resilience to stress. 11:13 We're not going to get rid of stress. 11:14 There's always going to be something there's always going to be suffering 11:18 in the world, right. 11:19 So we have to look at things differently. 11:22 Well, I definitely, encourage people to look at stress differently. 11:26 In any case. And 11:30 it's sort of people, but I don't think people realize it's 11:34 the stress is really positive and that we actually would be dead without it. 11:38 So stress is really just a term of physics. 11:41 And it's basically telling us when something is out of balance. 11:45 So every living organism, including the ecosystem, 11:49 every system wants to be in what we call homeostasis, 11:52 which is that steady state that we learn about in biology, 11:55 which is impossible to maintain or sustain because everything's 12:00 constantly changing and moving. It's dynamic. 12:02 So the universe is dynamic or dynamic. 12:05 The Earth is dynamic, and it's always needing to right itself. 12:08 Right. 12:08 The Earth is constantly writing itself, and so the body does the same. 12:12 What same thing. 12:13 When there's an imbalance, the body that needs to right itself. 12:16 So hunger is actually a stress. 12:18 Being cold is a stress. 12:20 Being too hot is a stress. 12:22 Being uncomfortable is a stress. 12:24 When we're uncomfortable, we shift positions and we get back into comfort. 12:27 So that's the writing itself. 12:28 When we're hungry, 12:30 our body lets us know that we're hungry, that our blood sugar is off, 12:34 and then we go and eat something, and then it writes itself. 12:37 That's what we call coping. 12:38 So there's a difference between adaptive coping and maladaptive coping.
Stress, Coping, and Health 12:43 So adaptive coping is I'm hungry. 12:46 That's the stress I eat. 12:49 That's the system writing itself. 12:51 And now I'm back in balance. 12:52 It's a term called alo stasis instead of homeostasis, 12:56 which is the ability to achieve stability through change. 12:59 How we get back into balance by changing, by adapting and, 13:03 maladaptive coping would be I'm anxious and I eat. 13:08 So the eating is actually calming. 13:10 Our anxiety down. 13:13 But it's not solving the reason. 13:15 The anxiety is there to begin with. 13:17 So it's a it's coping. 13:19 I'm getting through the day, but I'm not actually addressing the reason 13:23 that I'm feeling anxious. 13:24 I'm just kind of putting a Band-Aid on it. 13:26 So we call that maladaptive coping because eventually 13:30 the system is going to get hurt by that, because you're not actually addressing 13:33 the stress, 13:34 and the stress is not being extinguished, and the system is not getting back 13:37 into it. It's not getting righted. 13:38 It's just getting like slightly corrected, but it's not getting righted. 13:42 So I think it's important to remember that without stress, we'd be dead okay. 13:46 Without stress, you'd never get out of bed in the morning. 13:49 You wouldn't, you want you wouldn't want to change anything. 13:52 You wouldn't want to find out any information. 13:54 It's the lack being in a state of lack that motivates action. 13:57 And that's the beauty of being human. 13:59 If you weren't human, you wouldn't have stress at all and you'd be dead. 14:03 So I really encourage people to understand the beauty of stress. 14:07 And that's really about learning how to use stress. 14:09 So it doesn't use us and it to, you know, take that control back. 14:14 Yeah I loved watching 14:15 you said and how you explain the different coping. 14:18 I was just talking to my daughter. 14:20 She was at work this weekend and she was just shocked. 14:23 She works with a lot of college students. 14:24 She's a server, and she was shocked at how many of them vape, 14:29 you know, and I'm like, yeah, it's like a it's like a pacifier. 14:32 I mean, you know, they're like 14:34 everyone's sucking on them and it's like it's the new coping pacifier. 14:38 It's not it's not okay. 14:40 So they're they're not being very resilient. 14:43 They're using that to cope. 14:45 And and that's not good. 14:46 But maybe if someone told them like, hey, you know, 14:49 it might be a stressful that your car might not start 14:52 or your kids might be just kind of crazy and have meltdowns 14:57 because they haven't been 14:59 they've been staying up late, you know, because it's the holidays, 15:01 but you're going to breathe through it 15:03 and you're going to be resilient and it's going to be okay. 15:05 And you should be grateful that your kids are alive and healthy. 15:08 So, you know, you shouldn't be sucking on a V8, right? 15:12 So it's it's very hard because we're also 15:16 I feel bad because she's like offered, you know, these vapes, 15:20 all her friends at school, they they vape in between basketball practice 15:24 like and it's like you really have to talk with those around you about what 15:28 this resilience is. 15:30 And as we're talking about today, because if not, they might fall 15:33 prey to some of these different coping mechanisms which are unhealthy, 15:37 which we see a lot in, in patients with, with medicine. 15:40 Right. Like overeating, smoking, drinking. 15:44 You know, I'm sure you could probably go into that a little more. 15:46 I'd love to hear. 15:47 Well, I think I think that the major thing here is it's the why. 15:51 Right. Like why? 15:52 Why are they choosing this as a coping mechanism? 15:55 And that's what we really want to look at. 15:57 What are the what are the anxieties? 15:59 What are the fears. 16:00 What are the psycho spiritual aspects of 16:02 of what's happening here, the environmental issues, the pressures 16:06 that are leading them to use this as a coping mechanism? 16:10 Because once you've found that, oh, this helps me feel better, 16:13 you're going to use it. 16:14 I mean, all behaviors essentially addictions 16:16 to a certain extent because the brain, it goes towards reward of what helps 16:20 you feel better and away from what makes you feel badly. 16:24 So it's just how we're designed. 16:26 And so unless you teach people how to develop self-awareness 16:30 and how to essentially reset the thermostat, 16:33 because if you're cold outside, you're going to shiver 16:35 and trying to stop that shiver when it's cold outside, 16:38 it's impossible unless you reset your internal thermostat. 16:42 So this is a bigger issue. 16:44 It's really about working with people on that, on a cultural level, 16:47 on a community level, on a and a an a way of re 16:51 addressing how they see themselves and how they see the world. 16:54 Because as long as they have that anxiety and have those fears 16:58 and have those pressures that parents, society schools put on them, 17:02 and they're not given other coping tools to manage it, 17:05 that's what they're going to do, because it helps them get through it, 17:08 and it helps them get by. 17:10 Yeah. 17:10 So it's a bigger issue. 17:13 It's a bigger help. 17:15 Can I ask you what you think 17:17 the pandemic did to resilience in the United States? 17:21 You know, it's a very good question. 17:23 I think that, it did 17:26 it had some, positive effects and probably some negative effects. 17:30 Both. 17:31 So on the negative aspect of of it 17:35 from and resilience is the lack of connection. 17:38 So people went from we were humans. 17:42 We have a necessity 17:43 to be with each other physically and to have a sense of belonging 17:47 and the isolation really took away one of those 17:51 coping tools that we really need as human beings to thrive. 17:54 So that sense of connection, that sense of being with other people, 17:57 social isolation, and, you know, that 18:01 that's on that one negative, another negative or screen time. 18:05 So we know with your brain our Nature, which was released in 2012, 18:09 and we we saw that the advent of screen time was increasing anxiety, depression, 18:13 mental health issues and ADHD and things like that, especially children. 18:17 Lack of empathy, more irritability, more anger. 18:20 And so you can imagine 12 years later how much worse it is. 18:23 And with Covid, 18:24 wherever school was on screen time and everything became screen time. 18:28 And so the kids of of it, 18:31 especially during that time, had less socialization 18:34 and more screen time, which is again, a really bad recipe for, 18:41 for mental health 18:42 and possibly physical health and ability to manage resilient. 18:46 So that's on one hand. 18:47 On the other hand, we had people who 18:51 especially were 18:55 sort of were taught that you need to do something 18:57 a certain way and work a certain way and, and be sort of a workhorse. 19:01 Realize that, wait a minute. 19:03 I don't actually even like doing that. 19:06 I started sort of connecting with their own core 19:09 values, as opposed to doing what everybody else is saying and saying. 19:12 Wait a minute, I actually have other interests. 19:15 I'm going to go spend time in nature. 19:17 I'm going to maybe develop myself spiritually. 19:21 I'm going to reassess my values about what's important to me, 19:24 and not sort of give my power away to the larger authority as it may be. 19:28 So I think from that perspective, also, for introverts 19:32 who were released of that social pressure to have to be with other people and, 19:37 and to be able to go more inwards 19:39 and inform their world within that it was also really helpful for people. 19:43 So I think from a level of being able to sort of look at things and say, 19:47 wait a minute, why am I giving my power away to a larger authority? 19:49 Let me reassess my own values. 19:51 What's really important in my life and in my world. 19:54 So I think in that respect it was really powerful. 19:59 Yeah, yeah. 19:59 That's great. 20:00 It definitely was different. 20:03 So it was interesting to watch all of my kids go through it in each age 20:07 group is that I have kids five through 16, so it all affected them differently. 20:13 And I feel like it hit my 9 or 8 year old the worst. 20:18 But because he was in 20:19 that like kindergarten age and that's like a lot of parents see that. 20:23 So, it just very interesting. 20:26 But it did we did get really resilient. 20:28 We did crazy things, like we got chickens and went outside and but the screen time, 20:34 do you know that commercial where it has the girl, 20:38 she gets a phone for Christmas and she's on it all the time. 20:42 And then she starts like her demeanor, like just gets really depressed. 20:46 And then she's like crying all the time 20:48 and watching TV all the time, falling asleep in school. 20:50 And then she sees her bicycle. 20:52 It's a bike ad and then she rides her bike. 20:54 Do you know what I'm talking about? That commercial? Yes. Yes, yes. 20:56 And that's exactly, exactly that really does happen. 21:00 Yes. It's a big time studies looking at, you know, people on their phones 21:05 and what's happening to the brain or people who are not who are 21:09 basically nature deprived, 21:11 and what happens to the brain and what happens to the brain 21:13 when you even just see scenes of nature get out to nature and what it does for us? 21:18 And so this is all very real. 21:20 It's very real. 21:22 Yeah. That one like got me. 21:23 I was like, oh, but then I'm like, well I'm watching the screen. 21:27 It was during a football game. 21:28 But that was like, it is funny, but that Yeah. 21:31 It's so hard with kids too. 21:33 And as parents, yes, it's harder. 21:35 You have to set those limits. 21:36 But I will tell you when I'm like when I say to my kids, hey, 21:40 clear off the table, I'll, let's sit down and play some cards. 21:44 They've never said no. 21:46 They're, you know, like, that's what they want. 21:48 They want that human connection and they want to play cards. So. 21:51 So yeah, that helps with their resilience. 21:53 Right. Exactly. 21:55 The social connection, the play, the having fun, 21:59 the creativity that having having you know,
Pandemic Effects on Resilience 22:03 when you're only looking at a screen, you lose out on a lot of the 22:07 creative abilities of that, 22:08 that the brain can then innovate and create that you would get from nature. 22:12 So and, you know, and the connection with others. 22:15 So it's not that it's totally negative. 22:17 There's a lot of, 22:18 you know, the brains of the kids today are different than ours for sure. 22:22 And innovative in different ways. 22:24 So it's not about creating a negative, it's just finding balance within that. 22:29 So, you know, having periods during the day when you're unplugged 22:33 and, you know, focusing and being with family 22:35 and being with friends and being fully present, 22:38 and really being able to create that sense 22:41 of connection with yourself, with the outer world and with others. 22:45 So creating those, those times when you do that. 22:49 So it's not sort of not having screen time, it's just finding balance. 22:54 Absolutely. 22:55 Well, what are some more practical tips and tools 22:59 for cultivating resilience in our daily life? 23:03 Yeah. 23:03 So I I talk about the six pillars of resilience. 23:07 So the first pillar is your physical vitality. 23:10 So what can you do to support your physical vitality? 23:14 I would I recommend you start changing your mindset 23:17 and looking at everything as either fuel or toxic. 23:21 So the activities that you do or don't do, the sleep that you get or don't 23:26 get the nutrient rich food or lack thereof that you put in your body, 23:31 even the people that you keep around you, or the thoughts that you have, 23:35 or the the time that you do for recovery and relaxation. 23:38 So everything is fuel for your mind and body to either thrive or die. 23:43 And figuring out what suits you best. 23:46 So what kind of movement suits you best? 23:48 What kind of, nutrients suit you best? 23:51 What kind of, sleep regiment suits you best? 23:55 I mean, there's a protocol for everybody, but the question is, you know, 23:58 you might have some variations that work for you, that don't work for you. 24:02 And remembering that your, your, your gauge is how you feel. 24:05 Your gauge is how much energy you have. 24:07 Your gauge is you know, how much focus you can have 24:11 or how much happiness you hold in your heart. 24:14 And it's going to have it's going to be variable 24:17 according to your physical vitality. 24:18 So that's one because I mean, again, you I think about my ability 24:24 to make decisions when I'm sleep deprived versus fully rested. 24:27 So they're very different. 24:29 So the second one is your ability to make decisions. 24:31 What is your mental mindset. 24:33 So working on how you perceive yourself and you perceive your world. 24:37 Are you a victim or victor or a co-creator or 24:41 do you look at something and and do your limited beliefs 24:44 get in the way, or are you able to look at something as an opportunity? 24:48 So I encourage people to start looking at their world as opportunities, 24:53 but even in most difficult situation is an opportunity for learning and growth. 24:56 How can this be an opportunity? 24:57 How could this be an opportunity? 24:58 That's what we call the growth mindset. 25:01 The third pillar is about your emotions 25:03 is to start learning about emotional intelligence 25:06 and how to check your emotions, how to keep them in balance. 25:08 Emotions aren't negative. 25:10 They're just like hunger. 25:11 They let us know that we're out of balance and develop skills and tools to find 25:15 that emotional equilibrium, that emotional balance, 25:17 whether it's mindfulness through meditation, cognitive behavioral therapy, 25:20 there's all different types of tools that allow us to recognize 25:24 what's happening with our emotions, to be able to step outside of them 25:27 and use them to inform us rather than take over us. 25:31 And then how affect our behaviors? 25:33 Because our negative emotions come 25:34 in, it literally causes our mind to drop down into victim mode 25:38 and that the world is against us, not for us or with us. 25:42 And the fourth point is what we just talked about, which 25:44 social connection, which is working on our relationships. 25:48 Again, like I said, we are social beings. 25:51 We want to feel like we belong. 25:52 Our resilience comes from being in community. 25:54 Our ancestors never would have survived on their own in the wilderness. 25:58 So it's looking at our relationships and looking at our our sense of community, 26:02 what we're a part of, who we are a part of, who gives and who receives. 26:06 And in developing those relationships. 26:08 The fifth one is also about connection, but it's about spiritual connection. 26:13 Ultimately, our ability to transcend 26:16 this world, our humanness is our spiritual ness, 26:18 our spiritual connection, a connection 26:20 to something greater than that allows us to give us meaning 26:22 and purpose in our life. 26:24 So working on that, working on our meaning of purpose, connecting 26:27 to a spiritual community, whatever your belief in is, it could be nature, 26:31 but reminding yourself that you're connected to something greater than 26:34 and the last pillar is a pillar of self-awareness and self leadership. 26:39 Understanding that we take accountability
Six Pillars of Resilience 26:43 for our actions, for ourselves, for our beliefs, for our thoughts, 26:46 knowing that everything we think, feel, do affects everything else around us. 26:49 So either a boulder or your pebble, but either way you create ripples in the water 26:54 and taking accountability and responsibility for that. 26:57 So every day, being able to do practices that support you in those six pillars, 27:04 I love that. 27:04 That's great. 27:05 And it's just such a positive spin on everything. 27:08 And we all struggle and everyone, everyone has hurdles. 27:13 We all have valleys, we all have mountains. 27:14 And it's hard when, you know, bring up social media again, or being on a screen 27:19 when you're just looking at people's mountains, 27:22 you know, and they're not sharing their valleys. 27:24 I personally always share my valleys on my social media 27:28 because it's, it's it's a part of me. 27:31 And I'm actually proud of those valleys because it brings me closer to 27:36 to Jesus, to my faith, to, to, you know, talking about that higher being. 27:40 So I'm grateful for those now. 27:43 But when I was going through residency, 27:46 those valleys were hard being on call. 27:49 You're so busy that you're not you're not leaning into those steps. 27:54 I remember we would have once a month, I think, 27:59 you know, residency, like wellness days and do paintball or something. 28:04 And it was great for that human connection. 28:06 But it was it was just a hard time. 28:09 And now I think it's it's a lot better. 28:13 You know, I think doctors are better taking care of 28:16 to some extent, even though it's it's still a problem. 28:19 So but, so when you went through 28:23 that needle stack, did you, 28:27 did you have like a mentor or 28:29 something like walking you through that at that vulnerable time? No. 28:33 Nothing. No. 28:34 Never had a Shane never have. 28:36 No. I mean, so I think everybody's got their own path. 28:40 You know, I, I think you would agree that with your, your spiritual, 28:43 belief system that we each have our own divine guided path. 28:48 And, you know, we don't really know why until afterwards 28:51 when we try to make meaning from it. 28:52 But I do believe now, you know, almost 30 years later, 28:57 or even just my entire life, that for me, I, 29:02 I need to go through something on my own and figure it out. 29:05 And that at this age now, where I have colleagues and, 29:10 you know, other people that are esteemed and are in their mastery 29:13 that I can turn to for some guidance or advice. 29:16 But a lot of what I needed to go through in my personality 29:19 type and, and my journey was figuring it out on my own. 29:23 I don't think anyone I had people along the way who supported me, 29:28 but putting it all together 29:29 was something that was part of my own creative process. 29:32 And so and I feel like I went through it so that I can help other people, 29:37 not have to go through it 29:38 or not have looked through it as difficult, 29:40 you know, in such a difficult way that they can find more ease. 29:43 That something that might have taken me ten years will take somebody, 29:46 you know, ten weeks or ten days or what have you. 29:50 So again, so I just feel that in my divine path, 29:55 and really, for me to be able to really, really help people, 29:58 I needed to go through all of it, because otherwise I might be a talking head 30:03 and, you know, not really coming from my heart. 30:06 Yes, I agree with that there. 30:08 And there's a lot of that out there, too. 30:10 I feel like that with my Hashimoto's, my journey 30:13 and I, I'm glad because I get it when I see someone 30:18 with an autoimmune disease sitting across from me. 30:20 I'm like, I've been there, I get it. 30:22 So you coauthored your brain on nature. 30:26 I would love to hear more like geeking out a little bit 30:30 on what the brain does in nature, because it's beautiful. 30:33 I'm looking outside. 30:34 It's rainy here today in northwest Ohio and gray, but it's still beautiful. 30:40 I love looking at all the trees. 30:42 Yeah, well, so the that the your brain on nature is based on. 30:47 I mean, it just talks about all the research, 30:50 that we have that is confirming how important nature is for our brain. 30:56 We are nature. 30:58 We were born in nature. 31:00 We will die in nature. 31:01 We lived in nature. 31:03 Our ancestors did anyway. 31:05 And the human being has not actually been around 31:08 long enough for evolution to have caught up with technology. 31:12 In other words, our brain is used to being in nature 31:15 and not used to being in a concrete jungle looking at technology. 31:18 So it's actually very stressful to the brain because it's in a foreign 31:22 it's in foreign land. 31:23 Even though psychologically we've acclimated, we're used to it. 31:27 The brain is actually not so happy with it. 31:30 So the brain wants to be in nature. 31:33 It's comforting. 31:34 It's beautiful, like nothing in nature is ugly. 31:37 And so the research shows that when you spend time in nature, 20 minutes a day, 31:43 it improves your immune system. 31:45 It lowers the stress response and improves cognition and improves, energy levels, 31:51 improves healing. 31:55 We've seen that when you put plants in rooms, people get out of hospitals faster. 31:59 So it is very apparent, 32:03 oh, when you exercise, for instance, indoors versus outdoors 32:07 and somewhere in nature you feel less fatigue, less pain. 32:10 You can go longer, go faster, you're more enlivened. 32:14 So there's a lot of research that is confirming to us 32:18 how important it is for us to be connected directly to nature 32:24 on a regular basis, 20 minutes 32:26 a day, getting away on weekends, having photos of nature around your home, 32:30 reminding our brain that we're still very much connected. 32:37 It seems like we need more outside gyms. 32:40 Like I'm like, oh my goodness, because I didn't know that study 32:44 that if you exercise outdoors, like like I'm telling you like lifting weights 32:47 because that's I don't walk like inside on a treadmill. 32:50 You know, sometimes I'm like, just go outside, put on a raincoat, 32:53 but it's I need a Smith machine, like outside. 32:58 Well, you think you do. 32:59 I mean, yes, 33:00 if you had a, if you had a speed machine outside and it, you know, surrounded 33:03 by green and trees, you absolutely would feel a lot less discomfort. 33:06 And the other thing of that is like, you know, going and learning some 33:09 functional movements and going outside and doing some pull ups on a tree and, 33:13 you know, using, stones to, to lift weights and, and, you know, that 33:18 also then ignites your brain and the creative pathways for innovation. 33:23 So there's a lot of different ways that nature can be helpful, 33:27 you know, either putting your gym out nature or using your nature as your gym. 33:31 Yeah. Yeah, I love that. 33:33 I, I've seen those, 33:36 those like rock beach 33:37 like beach, like, they use rocks and like all that stuff for workout. 33:41 I'm like, that's so cool. I would love that. 33:43 Just being in the sand and but yeah, no no no no. 33:47 Northwest Ohio maybe another time. Yeah. 33:49 But not at this time of the year especially. 33:51 But yeah, but but the kids like if they're inside 33:55 and they're suffering I'm like, go outside. 33:58 Like you need nature. Just go outside. 34:01 And then they go and they play and they have fun. 34:03 So it's we laugh about that because, you know, we're 34:06 we're we're Gen Axis my friends and our Gen Z. 34:08 So you know when we were growing up 34:10 we were told go outside and don't come back until dinner. 34:13 So they didn't want to see us. We were out. 34:15 They had no idea what we're doing. We're out and about. 34:17 And we were not allowed back in until dinner time. 34:20 So yeah, no, I love it. 34:23 My friend and I would go on this property with like a bunch of streams, 34:27 at her house and then our house. 34:29 We had a pond and we would, you know, try to find Snapping Turtle. 34:32 We got leashes on us, ones like, we we had so much fun or even, like, 34:37 when we were teenagers, we would play laser tag outside, sit around the fire. 34:42 So definitely, gosh, the phones, I mean, all these kids that are just 34:48 so in their phone, I and I try to be careful 34:51 because I do a lot of work on my phone 34:53 and I'm sure you with like networking and all of that, it's it's hard. 34:56 So just make sure you're putting it down. 34:59 Your kids aren't modeling your behavior. 35:02 Yeah. 35:03 And when you're talking to them, be fully present. 35:05 You know, I think we do that with each other 35:07 and we do that with our children. 35:10 Is that, you know, we're talking and then looking at our phone 35:13 or that the phone is right there. 35:14 So it's really important to practice presence, you know, full presence 35:19 and not because otherwise we're advocate advocating what I call 35:23 learned invisibility that the other person is starting 35:26 to learning that compared to your phone, that they're invisible. 35:29 And we have enough of that in our world, or we learn invisibility or, you know, 35:33 we get sort of shunned and pushed away, and, 35:36 you know, told that we're too much or not enough or whatever those messages are.
Nature, Presence, and Boundaries 35:40 And to really practice authentic presence. 35:43 I love that learned invisibility. 35:46 I just came up with that term. 35:47 I'm about to release an article on it, so, 35:51 I don't know that. 35:52 Well, and it's true. 35:54 And it's so hard because, you know, I work, I do a lot of work from home, and, 36:00 you know, the kids will, like, pop in 36:01 and they'll see me doing it and review it and then just wait. 36:04 And then so I try to be extra present with them 36:07 because they do get a lot of me, but they see, 36:10 you know, I'm working in front of them. 36:12 I'm not like physically going somewhere a lot of the times to work. 36:15 So but you can you make up for that by connecting with them later 36:22 differently if you set that boundary, does that overcome that? 36:26 I think it's also really important to just voice it. 36:29 You know, you can say, listen, I'm, I'm, I'm working. 36:32 When I'm working, I'm not going to be fully present with you. 36:35 And so and I'm going and create like a time, a boundary like okay, I like 36:39 and can draw a line and say, okay, right now I'm at work 36:42 so you can interact with me, but I might not be 100% present when I'm 36:46 talking to you because I'm at work now, I'm going to step over the line, 36:50 and now I'm back home and I'm going to be fully present 36:54 as your mom here at home, and I'm not going to work. 36:57 And so you can just state that. 36:59 And so you create clear boundaries between my work time and my home time. 37:05 And even if you don't have kids or something that you can do. 37:07 So, you know, 37:08 I sort of draw my line outside of my, my office at home and I step out. 37:12 I'm like, okay, 37:14 I'm not working right now. 37:16 And then I step back in my office, okay, I'm working right now. 37:19 So I love, 37:21 you know, so it's sort of that people know where where you stand right now. 37:24 So you might be like, 37:26 you need to do an hour's worth of work sometime in the evening. 37:29 So you say, okay, kids, I'm from 7 to 8. 37:32 I'm going to be working. 37:34 So it's just going to be work time and then I'm going to be fully present 37:37 with you after that. 37:38 So that way you're completely focused, but you're focused and then you're not. 37:42 Right. 37:42 So I do that with all those people that have a difficult time focusing. 37:47 We call it time distraction. 37:49 Right now I'm just going to focus and then I'm going to time my distraction 37:52 and my time, my period that I'm going to be fully present with something else. 37:55 So just stating it out loud and following through. 37:59 Doctor Iva, I think I needed this too. 38:02 I'm so glad that you gave those tips and tricks for me, 38:06 because I'm entering a season where I'm going to be homeschooling my kids 38:10 for a few months before their new, It's like a hybrid homeschool start. 38:15 So I'm going to need to make sure I have those clear 38:19 set boundaries for them so they still feel like I'm giving them attention 38:24 and not feeling that something popped into my brain 38:27 because I have some cats that are very needy. 38:31 They're very needy. 38:31 Anyway, there's things sneaky cats do. 38:34 Do animals feel that same way when, like, 38:38 you know, they're adults or like, 38:41 so they feel that too? 38:42 I mean, I don't know, but I think they do. 38:45 I think animals are more sensitive. 38:47 I mean, they're really intuitive and really sensitive, 38:50 and they know when you're fully present, they know when you're not. 38:52 They know when you're unhappy. They know when you're stressed. 38:54 You know, they're we're all we're living beings are sentient beings, 38:58 which means we feel before we think, before we do anything, we feel. 39:01 And they can they can pick up in your and your vibration. 39:05 They pick up on your and and whatever it is you're experiencing or feeling. 39:08 They feel it and they will respond in kind. 39:11 So anxious. 39:13 They're anxious. If you're happy, they're happy. 39:15 So, you know, they pick up on that for sure. 39:19 Yeah. 39:19 I was just wondering because not everyone has kids around, you know, 39:22 so they have pets and now I you went through a little bit of this, 39:28 the mind body connection and its role in overcoming adversity. 39:32 Can you do you want to go into any more detail on that? 39:36 I think it's just important 39:37 to remember that you're not an isolated being. 39:40 Nothing is separate and everything is interconnected, 39:44 that your, 39:46 your brain is secondary to everything else. 39:50 Okay? 39:50 Your body feels first and your body and your brain discerns after. 39:54 And that when your body is discerning that there is a stress present there 39:58 lets your brain know when it's present and then the brain will look at. 40:03 It's a database that it's created 40:04 since the day you were born of what to do and then will initiate an action. 40:08 That's how everything works. 40:09 And so you're designed to try to find relief, and your brain is looking 40:13 for a way to get you there, to get you to write that situation. 40:17 Your brain is basing its knowledge on what's happened in the past 40:21 and what it suspects might happen in the future, 40:24 and it ties it in with your emotions. 40:27 So when you're in a negative emotional space, 40:28 it'll take you to your past when you had the same negative situation, 40:32 come up with the belief system that occurred at that time, 40:35 which is normally when you were young and didn't have much of a brain. 40:38 And then it will propagate the action, emotion, behavior 40:40 that will help you then move forward to cope. 40:44 The reason I'm saying that is because 40:46 many of us, when we're under stress, 40:48 I've triggered trigger belief systems and encourage 40:51 when we're younger that are not really true and not logical. 40:55 We call them distortions, cognitive distortions. 40:57 And those are what's motivating our behaviors, actions, beliefs, and 41:01 and reactions to other people and to how we cope in life. 41:05 If we don't, 41:07 as we assume that connection to self, to the body, 41:10 to what I'm actually experiencing, and then take care of self, 41:15 then we're always going to keep doing the same habits over and over again. 41:17 That's why diets don't work. 41:19 All these self-care help self-help books 41:22 don't work because we haven't reset the thermostat. 41:25 So number one, in understanding mind body connection, 41:30 knowing that everything is connected, everything is interrelated. 41:34 And if we want to feel more empowered in our lives, it starts with us. 41:37 Starts with learning how to feel, how to be connected to our feelings. 41:42 Number one, how to we 41:44 we so that self awareness is number one. 41:48 Two is self-regulation 41:50 is being able to regulate that stress response 41:53 so that we can get into a place of balanced so that we can have access 41:57 to how we maneuver. 41:57 Because again, 41:58 when we're in stress and contracted, we can't see clearly or think clearly. 42:02 When we're open, expansive and calm, we can. 42:06 And the third thing is self-compassion. 42:08 What will get us out of this 42:11 stress response, this fear, this anxiety is love. 42:17 Is love spiritual love, social love, self-love, 42:20 and that compassion that we can fill ourselves up with. 42:23 Then we can get regulated and then figure out what needs to happen. 42:27 So all that fuel I'm talking about all the self-talk, 42:31 all the mindset, everything, all that sort of saying 42:34 of knowing what my leadership is in the world. 42:36 It's all based in love. 42:38 So the mind body connection for resilience 42:41 and thriving and flourishing is based on love. 42:46 Loving oneself, 42:48 being connected to something, loving that's greater than 42:51 and the love that connects us all together in our humanity. 42:54 So that that's what I that's the only thing I want to add.
Mind-Body Connection and Closing Thoughts 43:00 Yes. That's beautiful. 43:01 I like when I do the little heart to you. 43:04 We all need more love less I love that that's so great. 43:09 That's a that's a great just way to end you know the the podcast I love that. 43:14 So definitely so many useful tips and tricks for resiliency 43:21 which is so important. 43:23 I mean I'm telling you, every patient that comes into my office 43:28 stress resilience it's it's on the table their cortisol. 43:32 And yeah it's not going to go away. 43:35 Not necessarily a bad thing. Like you said. 43:37 There's people that can't make cortisol. 43:40 They die. 43:42 You know like you 43:43 die if you don't make it is also so it's it's there for a reason. 43:47 So I just love that this is your passion and that you turned 43:51 in a situation of pain and and really hard. 43:56 I mean, I couldn't imagine, I mean, I, you know, I've heard of it 44:00 happening to different residents and stuff, but, 44:03 you know, if you're the one, it's just a whole different thing. 44:06 So I love that you brought that story 44:10 and made it your career to help other people become more resilient. 44:15 Now, doctor Eva, how can everyone find you? 44:19 Where where do you like to hang out on social when you take that up? 44:24 I think you can find me in any. 44:25 Anywhere. Is doctor self-help dot com? 44:28 It's my website. 44:29 We're growing. I'm growing my YouTube channel. 44:31 So I'm going to have a lot of really informative, information 44:35 on there going forward, I think starting this Thursday. 44:39 This, this, this end of, I mean, end of December, 44:42 we're going to be starting that. 44:44 And also I'm on all of those social media channels, LinkedIn and Instagram 44:50 and Facebook. 44:52 What else is there X Twitter or whatever that is now. 44:56 And I think even TikTok, I'm on there, but I think that that's probably 45:00 not going to be around by January anyway. So, 45:04 but yeah, I'm all the, media channels. 45:07 I have, six books that are out, as you know, 45:10 and, yeah, 45:13 that's amazing. 45:14 So any future projects 45:16 or is YouTube what you're putting all your effort into right now? 45:19 Oh no. No. 45:20 Yeah. There's always different projects. 45:22 Projects happening. 45:23 So, we, we, I do, workshops and retreats often. 45:28 I've collaborating with two other mind body medicine. 45:31 One's a doctor, one's a nurse practitioner. 45:33 We've done two retreats, workshops together already. 45:36 We're doing I'm going to be doing a lot more of those, 45:39 which are these transformational workshops for people 45:42 to move into flourishing and probably doing a flourishing project with them. 45:47 And, yeah, there's always something brewing, 45:50 probably going to write another book and, like I said, mostly 45:53 a lot of seminars, workshops and programs that will be coming out 45:56 in, 2025. Great. 46:00 That is so exciting. Well, thank you so much for being here. 46:03 I appreciate all your time and your knowledge. 46:06 Thank you so much for having me. 46:08 Thank you for tuning in to Doctor Talks. 46:10 We hope today's episode has enlightened 46:12 and inspired you on your path to optimal health. 46:15 Each day is a new opportunity to make choices that empower your wellbeing. 46:19 For more insights and strategies, subscribe to our podcast 46:23 and visit our website w ww dot doctor Talksport.com. 46:28 Stay connected, stay healthy and join us next time on Doctor Talks. 46:33 Real talks from real doctors on the issues that matter to you most.
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