Spoil Your Baby Ep 44 – I’m Right, You’re Stupid: Healing Adult Sibling Wounds

Why is healing the complex relationships between adult siblings a universally overlooked area in mental health?

Jessica Marriot and Dr. Bluma Sapir, who are sisters, were estranged and hated each other for their entire lives until the pandemic prompted a change. Their relationship healing began slowly on Zoom. This unusual process led to a realization: adult sibling healing is a universally overlooked population in the mental health field, with everything else seeming to exist except for it. This observation reinforced their decision to document their journey and write their book, I’m Right, You’re Stupid: Growing up your sibling relationship. Dr. Bluma Sapir, a clinical psychologist, provided valuable background, enabling them to dive deep into existing research, reinforcing their path to help others.

They discovered that their deep pain stemmed from origin stories where family legacy burdens, such as the generational pattern of one sibling being the “black sheep” and the other the “favorite,” played a defining role. Both sisters came to understand that they had played dual roles, acting as both the victim and the abuser for each other. The healing process involved using neuroscientific tools, like deep breathing and grounding exercises derived in part from Polyvagal Theory, to co-regulate themselves. Through this hard work, they stress the importance of teaching repair and perspective-taking, emphasizing that true healing focuses on authenticity (what was felt) rather than accuracy (what was precisely remembered). Ultimately, this repair offered a “wider lens” on their purpose, provided clarity in other relationships, and helped rewire their nervous systems toward calm and security.

Key Takeaways

● Adult sibling healing is recognized as a universally overlooked population in the mental health field.
● The relationship with a sibling is often the first relationship where we learn how to get along or not get along with others.
● The roots of sibling conflict often stem from family legacy burdens, where generational roles like “black sheep” or “favorite” are passed down.
● When managing sibling conflict, parents should serve as regulators and co-regulators, avoiding the urge to choose sides or let children “figure it out”.
● Healing requires focusing on authenticity—hearing what the other person experienced—rather than arguing over the factual accuracy of past events.

Join The Nurture Neuroscience Practitioner Certification

Join our February 2026 Program:
https://nurture-neuroscience.com/professional-certification-sales-page

Resources
● Book I’m Right, You’re Stupid: Growing up your sibling relationship.
● Website: Your Sib Hub: https://yoursibhub.com (for more information and their fun quiz).

Guests Bios: Jessica Marriot is the founder of Forward Thinkers and innovative entrepreneur who partners with global brands to disrupt industries and drive revenue growth. Dr. Bluma Sapir is a distinguished clinical psychologist with over 20 years experience providing transformative psychotherapy to individuals and pairs.

Ready to Connect with Greer?

“Nurture Neuroscience” Website: https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drgreerkirshenbaum/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/greerkirshenbaum/

FREE GUIDE, “Nurture Your Baby’s Stress”: https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/nurture-your-babys-stress

FREE GUIDE, “Manage the Stressors & Triggers of Parenting”: https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/manage-the-stressors-of-parenting

Order “The Nurture Revolution” Book: https://www.nurture-neuroscience.com/the-nurture-revolution