Full Transcript Patientu2019s first vision changes 0:00 I looked down one day, just looked down and my lap was double. 0:04 This was very quickly, it was a matter of weeks afterwards and I looked up again and I looked down and now my feet, instead of two, 0:13 I had four and I'm like, what is going on? 0:16 But it wasn't when I would look straight and I realized when my head was straight but I would lower my eyes, that's when everything went double. 0:24 Then I came back in again to see you. 0:26 That scared me. 0:29 It was just afterwards, it was just constant fear, because every little thing I felt, I was like, what is that? 0:35 Am I supposed to feel that? 0:37 Welcome to the IQ Podcast. 0:39 I'm Dr. 0:40 Ronni Banek, here to help you boost your IQ with powerful insights that connect your eyes, your brain, and your whole body wellness. 0:49 Hello, and welcome to the IQ Podcast, where you can gain insights into your vision health, your brain health, to help you raise your IQ. 0:58 I'm your host, Dr. 0:59 Rani Banik, also known as America's Integrative Ophthalmologist. 1:03 And on today's episode, I have a very special person I want to introduce you all to. 1:10 Someone who I've known for almost 10 years now, who happens to be one of my patients. 1:16 And she's been generous and kind enough to share her story with you because it truly is a story of resilience and hope. 1:24 I'm so excited to bring on the IQ podcast today, my patient Mev Markashi. 1:29 Welcome Mev to the IQ podcast. 1:31 Thank you, Dr. 1:32 Banach. 1:33 So as I mentioned, we've known each other for quite some time now, almost 10 years. 1:37 I think that your journey with this issue we're going to be talking about today began in 2016. Now it's 2026. So it goes back quite a long ways. 1:47 And I've kind of watched you evolve through the years with your condition and your acceptance of the condition, et cetera, 1:54 how you're managing with it. 1:56 But let's go back. 1:58 to the very beginning. 2:00 So tell our audience, what happened? 2:04 What was the very first thing or what were some of the initial symptoms that you had that ultimately led to this diagnosis we're going to be talking about today? 2:12 Sure. 2:13 The initial symptoms were, I would call them very subtle. 2:18 My concentration was off at times. 2:21 I found myself focusing, not being on. 2:23 I was reading the same line over, and I just couldn't concentrate. 2:27 And that would come and go for a bit. 2:29 But it wasn't anything that was really impacting my life. 2:32 But it did make me wonder. 2:34 As time went on, I started to develop this fatigue. 2:40 It was just fatigue. 2:41 My body started to hurt. 2:45 I couldn't explain getting up out of bed as if my head just became a hundred pounds heavier.
Podcast introduction and guest welcome 2:51 overnight, it was weight to it. 2:54 Again, subtle symptoms that were explained away, I would walk, I would change my diet in certain ways. 3:00 But then my vision, and I will say it was slow from the, I'd say it was almost a year later after these subtle symptoms started to show up, 3:10 just fuzzy, wasn't feeling right. 3:12 But the true moment was when I was in the car and it was this, I would come to a stop sign when I would leave my home, and I would turn left to look, 3:21 right to look, and then left again. 3:23 When I made that turn, and I may be using the wrong word here, but it felt like my eyes were doing this in a wave appearance. 3:34 I would have to drive about three blocks down and I kept blinking because it just was no longer just this clear static picture, 3:41 it was just shifting on me. 3:44 So to clarify, you mean like your vision was shifting like jiggling back and forth kind of? 3:49 Yes. 3:51 Like if you couldn't, if you looked at something, looked to the sides and then things were unsteady for a little bit? 3:56 Correct. 3:57 Correct. 3:59 And the first time that happened, I clearly was, what was that? 4:04 It happened the next day because it was always the same routine. 4:07 I would leave and it happened again, but this time it was taking longer for that image to just stay straight to really be able to not feel that. 4:17 I knew at that moment, I said, okay, now there's now and now it's my eyes. 4:21 So I made an appointment with an optometrist. 4:24 not an ophthalmologist, an optometrist who was just down the block from me. 4:28 And I told them what was happening. 4:30 Quite honestly, it was, oh, you know, you're 42 and, you know, these type of things happen. 4:35 And I was getting very frustrated with a lot of that because internally that this cannot be right. 4:41 Could I ask, when you went for the eye exam, did they just check you for glasses or was it a full eye exam? 4:48 At this moment, he dilated my pupils. 4:50 And I think he did. 4:52 He did, yeah, because of what I was saying. 4:54 And did he see anything on that exam? 4:57 Yes. 4:58 He went from my right eye to my left and he would not stop going back and forth. 5:06 I asked him, is everything okay? 5:08 And he did not speak to me. 5:10 He kept going back and forth. 5:14 And then he left the room. 5:15 Okay. 5:16 I came to learn that what he did at that moment was call a neuro-optimologist here on Staten Island to bring me in on an emergency. 5:25 What he was trying to figure out after I had met with him after the surgery, he said, I was trying to figure out how to tell you and not scare you, 5:33 what I was saying. 5:35 My optic disc, is that correct? 5:38 He came to me and said, you have papillodema. 5:42 He goes, it is excessively swollen, but what's unusual, he says, it's also your left eye. 5:50 So both of your eyes, your optic disc is swollen, and he said it. 5:56 He goes, you know, we tend to see these things with a brain tumor, but it's usually just one side. 6:02 He goes, and that was it. 6:04 It was actually both sides, but you know. 6:08 Probably, you know, the red flag was there and he did the right thing. 6:11 Number one, he did not just a glasses exam, but he dilated you, which is so important because if unless he dilated you, he would never have seen this or 6:20 less likely he would have seen it. 6:21 But also he called the right specialist, which is so important. 6:25 So kudos to him. 6:27 Oh, yeah. 6:28 Oh, yeah. 6:30 Yeah, I want to just ask you a little bit before we go further. 6:33 So, you know, there's this question, okay, is this a brain tumor? 6:35 But you mentioned that some of these symptoms are going on for a long time. 6:40 Can you give us a time frame? 6:41 Was it weeks? 6:42 Was it months? 6:43 Days? 6:43 Like, you know, the brain fog, the heaviness, the vision issues? 6:47 How long was this going on? 6:49 I remember when I turned 40 because that started to be the time that everybody was like, Oh, you know, you're 40 and that's what happens.
Early symptoms and worsening vision 6:56 And I would say two years, two years, two years was the subtleness of something feels off my concentration, but then I would go even it would pass. 7:11 Would it go back to normal? 7:13 Would it kind of come and go? 7:14 Yes, come and go. 7:16 And it wasn't anything that was impacting my life. 7:19 I was going to the doctor and like, oh, you know, maybe stress and maybe you're, you know, maybe the foods that you eat. 7:26 And I tried everything, everything. 7:28 And by the way, I should mention this to the audience, Mev is actually in the healthcare field. 7:33 She's a registered nurse and she's been working in various clinical settings for quite some time. 7:38 So you knew that what's normal and what's not normal at some point, right? 7:43 So you decided to seek care, which is really important. 7:46 Yes, I did. 7:47 And I remember someone, my nurse and colleagues would say to me, you're a nurse. 7:50 You didn't know you had a brain tumor. 7:51 And it was like, no, no, I didn't have headaches. 7:55 No, there was nothing going on with my vision. 7:57 I hear people say the same thing that I was saying back then that are normally functioning. 8:02 There was nothing that made me think that I had a brain tumor. 8:06 So that heaviness that you were feeling, it wasn't a headache, right? 8:10 It was a difference. 8:11 It wasn't like something's pressure, you know, pressure is building up in your head. 8:15 It was a different sensation. 8:17 Just wait, wait. 8:19 That's what I could say. 8:19 It felt heavy. 8:21 I have to say, Mev, going through that period in one's life, especially being a woman, perimenopause, menopause, a lot of women do chalk up their symptoms to, 8:29 oh, it's just my hormones, or oh, I haven't slept well, or I'm stressed, or this is going on, or that's going on. 8:35 So a lot of women like you may let things go for some time, right? 8:40 Like we take care of other people, we don't really focus on our own health, and we unfortunately sometimes get care too late, 8:48 or I shouldn't say too late, but delayed, which really shouldn't be the case. 8:52 It shouldn't be, and that's exactly what it was. 8:56 So now let's go back to that moment in time when your optometrist came in and said, I'm worried, you need to go see the specialist, 9:04 you may have a brain tumor. 9:06 What went through your mind? 9:07 I mean, that's just, I can't even fathom the emotions that may have happened at that time. 9:13 As much as he was trying to calm me down at that moment, I knew I had my diagnosis because it all added up then. 9:21 I said, that's it, here's the answer. 9:23 I have seen everybody, this is it. 9:25 I was scared to say scared and in shock and I drove all the way down to the neuro-optimology from there on my own. 9:35 You think to call somebody to come with you, I just scared. 9:39 I'm sure like the processing like that, you know, like, oh my goodness, and people think brain tumor, that's one of the scariest diagnoses to get, 9:46 right? 9:47 Anyone is, that's the first thing they think of, like, is it a brain tumor? 9:50 I get that question every week. 9:51 But to be told that, and then, you know, to try to put the pieces together, like, this has been going on, this has been going on, 9:58 this has been going on. 9:59 I really applaud you for keeping your cool and making it to that doctor's office. 10:05 Yeah. 10:05 I drove. 10:06 I said to him, my pupils are dilated. 10:08 You want me to drive? 10:09 He gave me the glasses. 10:10 He says, you're going to be fine. 10:11 Go. 10:12 And you know what? 10:13 Yeah. 10:14 I got in the car and I was just processing. 10:19 And then when I walked in, they brought me in immediately. 10:21 And I immediately said to him, I said, I know it's a brain tumor. 10:26 He said, don't. 10:27 So I jumped to conclusions. 10:28 He said, we do see these things. 10:29 And he would again, trying to bring me down. 10:32 I have a history of paternal diabetes and we've seen these in autoimmune and no matter what they said and the staff came in and they showed me a comparison 10:42 of what a healthy optic disc looks like versus what mine looked like. 10:50 I was shocked at the size of what was occurring. 10:54 And no matter what they said, I was like, this is a brain tumor. 10:58 And I was not emotionally crying or anything. 11:00 It was just shock. 11:03 Here it is. 11:04 It all adds up now. 11:05 That's what's been happening. 11:07 Was there a sense of relief to finally get some kind of diagnosis? 11:14 In an odd way, yes. 11:16 Because you've been grappling with these symptoms for two years, right? 11:20 So to kind of say, like, now, okay, it's making sense. 11:24 Like, I'm kind of glad that I know now what's happening, even though it's a scary thing. 11:29 I think that's a challenge, too, is, you know, getting to the diagnosis and then the relief after that that people experience. 11:36 Like, okay, now at least I know now I can move forward with this and address this. 11:41 So what did that neuro-ophthalmologist do? 11:43 What was the very first thing that they did for you? 11:46 Well, they sent me to a neurologist for a follow-up. 11:49 He did a full assessment. 11:51 I'm going to tell you, he was not convinced. 11:53 Even he, they did a full check on me. 11:55 My whole, I was strong. 11:58 Everything, even the neuro- No weakness, no numbness, no back issues, no headaches, kind of. 12:04 you know, all the things you would expect you didn't have, you had other symptoms. 12:08 Correct. 12:09 And he says, you know what, why don't we just get an MRI, he says, to roll out a brain tumor. 12:14 And it was like, when he said it, it was becoming more real. 12:17 And I said, you really think I have a brain tumor? 12:21 He said, no, we're just going to roll it out. 12:23 And I'm going to tell you, I really don't think he was convinced. 12:27 Yeah, I have this. 12:28 Mav, in your age group, being a woman in your 40s when this was diagnosed, there are other conditions that can cause papillodema. 12:36 And the vast majority of those conditions are not brain tumors. 12:39 So, you know, it's very, you know, it makes sense that they were really thinking this is not a brain tumor because it's the exception, 12:46 honestly. 12:47 It's the exception. 12:48 I would say 95% of patients have something else, not a mass growing in their brain. 12:55 Right. 12:56 I was praying for diabetes, to be honest with you. 12:58 I was like, Oh, let's hope this is dying something. 13:00 And I went for an MRI. 13:02 I remember it was a Sunday. 13:03 Don't know why they were open on a Sunday, but I did it on a Sunday. 13:07 I went to work next day. 13:08 I don't know how I got through today. 13:11 I kept looking at my phone.
Eye exam reveals papilledema 13:13 I was in a school as a nurse, kids were coming in and I was, the only thing I kept saying to myself is I hope I don't get a phone call today. 13:22 That was it. 13:23 I hope I do not get a call today and it's just a routine MRI and they're gonna call me back whenever. 13:30 And I thought I was out of the day. 13:32 I went home, school closed, 3.30, got home. 13:35 I'm like, great, day's going to go. 13:37 I'm not going to hear from them. 13:38 This is not happening. 13:40 My phone rang. 13:41 I was sitting in my living room. 13:42 I looked. 13:44 It was him. 13:44 It was a little after four. 13:48 And I was like, oh boy. 13:49 They didn't want to hear from him, but there he was. 13:53 And I picked it up. 13:55 And he says, Hey, Matt, and he was very calm. 13:57 He says, we have your MRI results. 13:59 Then I'll never forget his words. 14:01 He said, there's good news and bad news. 14:04 He said, okay. 14:07 He said, bad news is you have a meningioma. 14:11 That was the word that he used. 14:14 I'm processing OMA, tumor, meninges. 14:18 He says the good news is these tend to not be malignant. 14:24 When people say my life flashed in front of me, I can honestly tell you it was as literal as those words can possibly be that I just saw everything and 14:37 it was this release and then he went there he got very escalated then he said this needs to come out like yesterday he goes it is. 14:45 Yesterday you have a lot of swelling on your brain we need you to come in here now. 14:51 And from there on, it was just full go, full throttle. 14:55 Everybody was across the whole spectrum as quickly as they possibly could to get this tumor out. 15:01 So I want to go back to that. 15:03 You know, you said your whole life flashed in front of you. 15:06 Was it a sense of relief or was it a sense of dread and uncertainty or maybe a combination of both? 15:15 I think for the first time in my life, I experienced the vulnerability. 15:19 It was not a relief. 15:20 It was more of nothing made sense. 15:23 It was like all that for this moment, all that, that whole, this whole life, this way that I've lived, always athletic and moving around. 15:31 And for this moment, there was no relief. 15:35 It didn't make sense to me. 15:39 You know, you think you're invincible, you're never going to be that person, you know? 15:45 And there was just this release, I think, of no control. 15:51 No control, vulnerable, and it's not a comfortable feeling. 15:56 I've certainly had patients who, similarly after a major diagnosis, they think, well, I eat healthy, I exercise, I'm at a good weight, 16:06 I don't have diabetes, I don't have high blood pressure. 16:08 Why did this happen to me? 16:10 And there's that feeling like I've done everything right, but why did this happen to me? 16:16 And my response is, this is nothing you did. 16:19 It's not your fault. 16:20 There's no guilt to be had here. 16:22 It's our human body. 16:25 And sometimes things happen. 16:27 And I'm going to show your meningioma just to kind of demonstrate what the initial scan looked like so our audience can understand. 16:33 But I just want to preface that by saying that Meningiomas are very common. 16:39 They're estimated to be present in about 15 to 20 percent of the normal population. 16:44 Most of us may not even know that we have one unless you get a brain scan or unless it grows big enough that it causes a problem. 16:51 So it's not that uncommon, but when it grows, then it needs to be addressed. 16:57 And so with that, I'm going to share your scan. 17:01 Hello, I'm Dr. 17:02 Rani and I'm here to talk about something we often take for granted, our vision. 17:07 In my book, Beyond Carrots, Best Foods for Eye Health A-Z, I delve into how crucial it is to be proactive about your vision health. 17:15 Certain eye issues are quite common, such as dry eye and eye strain, while others frequently develop with age like cataracts, 17:23 macular degeneration, diabetic retinopathy, and glaucoma. 17:27 Some of these types of eye conditions can be debilitating and even lead to loss of vision. 17:32 The good news is that many of these sight-stealing conditions are preventable if you take the right steps. 17:38 Your eyes are precious and they deserve the best care possible. 17:43 To ensure healthy vision for life, you need to provide your eyes with the proper nutrition they need. 17:48 Nutrients like lutein, zeaxanthin and bioflavonoids, also omega fatty acids, are like fuel for your eyes, keeping them strong and vibrant. 17:57 But here's the truth, sometimes our diets have gaps. 18:01 That's where my Agile Size supplement bundle comes in. 18:05 It's the result of years of research and my passion for eye health. 18:09 The Agile Size bundle contains the three essential supplements I recommend to my patients. 18:15 Let's start with Fortify, a blend of powerful ingredients that protect against stressors like blue and UV light, eye strain, 18:22 free radicals, and oxidative stress. 18:25 Next is Nourish, a complete multivitamin. 18:28 Nourish provides the foundational building blocks your eyes need for cellular function and repair, along with powerful bioflavonoids that support the delicate
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21:45 One time, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the restroom. 21:49 I put the light on and everything went black. 21:53 It was this quick black. 21:55 And that was right at the time where literally like that, the car moment, it was all happening at that one time, everything went black. 22:04 Yeah, and that's a very common symptom. 22:06 And maybe you noticed it at night because maybe you were laying down, then you'd gotten up very quickly. 22:11 You know, that positional change can sometimes trigger a loss of vision. 22:16 It seconds, like really brief, but it is an important indicator of high pressure in the brain. 22:22 Okay, so what happened after that? 22:25 You got this diagnosis, they got you in. 22:27 What was their treatment? 22:29 What did they do? 22:30 Then I went in, I saw the neurosurgeon and it's funny because some of the things you said, he actually said, looking at your images, 22:40 I didn't expect somebody like you to come walking in here. 22:43 He goes this strong without his assessment. 22:47 He could not believe that there was no weakness or the way I just, he looked at me like this when I walked in. 22:53 They scheduled me for surgery. 22:55 They wanted to do it immediately. 22:57 He said, I wanted to process. 23:00 I said, what is the longest that I can wait? 23:02 He said, no more than two weeks. 23:03 I said, please give me two weeks. 23:06 And we scheduled the surgery. 23:09 I had a craniotomy with a resection. 23:13 And can you show us where was it under your hairline? 23:17 Right here. 23:18 You could actually see the line here. 23:21 all the way back here and you can see the temporal atrophy that I have on this side. 23:28 It's very mild. 23:29 Yeah. 23:30 Hair actually does a nice job to cover itself. 23:33 Yeah. 23:35 The surgery was, when I asked them, I said it's six to eight hours. 23:38 The surgery went total from beginning to end. 23:41 It was 12 hours. 23:42 It was a monster. 23:43 Obviously you saw the size of this tumor and all the vessels were wrapped around the brain tumor and I was upset when I heard that they could not get all 23:53 of it out. 23:53 There was a residual tumor that sits behind my optic nerve, next to my optic nerve, and I was told the carotid artery. 24:02 I understand why they could not get it out, but when I was told, I just remember looking at the residents and going, oh, 24:08 really? 24:09 All that and you guys couldn't get it all out? 24:12 Let me show the post-op scans. 24:14 They're not immediate post-op, they're actually the most recent scans that you had, but let me just show that for comparison. 24:21 So, you know, that large tumor that was all here is now down to this little nubbin right there. 24:29 So I don't know what numbers your neurosurgeon gave you, but I would say that's a very good decompression and excision of the tumor. 24:39 Maybe there is like a small amount, like 10% left. 24:41 I don't know if he gave you a number or anything like that. 24:44 And then here, this is the residual right here along your optic nerve and the carotid artery. 24:51 you know, just to compare, this is what it used to look like, and this is what it looks like now. 24:58 So, yeah. 24:59 Well, I'm not complaining, believe me. 25:01 Once they said to me immediately why, I just had to understand the physiology, the anatomy that was happening. 25:08 I said, oh, oh, I just, I said, no, it's okay. 25:11 It's okay. 25:13 I'll take it. 25:14 Yeah, yeah. 25:15 I mean, I think considering what you went through and the size of this tumor, it's remarkable what we have, you know, the tools we have in modern science 25:27 and surgery and, you know, to help people not just get rid of the problem, but to lead healthy, fulfilling lives. 25:35 And, you know, this is actually the reason why I asked you to be on the podcast, Mev, is, yes, your story is very unique. 25:41 you know, quite scary at times, but I really wanted to highlight what happened after and, you know, your experiences after having this tumor removed and 25:51 your recovery. 25:52 So can you just share a little bit about that? 25:53 Like, what was that journey like? 25:55 It's a good thing we don't know what's waiting for us afterwards. 25:59 Sometimes for me, I was still scared. 26:02 I was still scared. 26:04 I was trying to do the most that I can do for myself as far as trying to walk a little bit, eat protein with all those different things. 26:15 But it was very quickly that just felt like every day I was feeling something new and I didn't know what was going on. 26:23 I looked down one day, just looked down and my lap was double. 26:28 This was very quickly.
Recovery, double vision, and healing 26:31 It was a matter of weeks afterwards and I looked up again and I looked down and now my feet, instead of two, I had four and I'm like, 26:38 what is going on? 26:40 But it wasn't when I would look straight and I realized when my head was straight but I would lower my eyes, that's when everything went double. 26:47 Then I came back in again to see you. 26:50 That scared me. 26:52 It was just afterwards, it was just constant fear. 26:55 Because every little thing I felt, I was like, what is that? 26:58 Am I supposed to feel that? 27:00 Am I going to have a stroke? 27:03 I mean, are the symptoms just fear? 27:06 Fear and then the smelling in the brain. 27:08 I mean, it's a skull. 27:10 All that swelling has nowhere to go. 27:11 The heaviness, there was so much pain afterwards. 27:16 It was scary and just the not knowing. 27:20 the not knowing, you know, all these different thoughts of, I'm a nurse. 27:24 I can't not be able to look at something. 27:27 It was scary. 27:29 I didn't know what to think of it. 27:31 Is it going to go away? 27:32 What do I do? 27:33 And maybe there'll be classes. 27:35 Like I kept saying, oh, maybe this corrected blast is out there. 27:37 Maybe they'll give me something where that won't happen. 27:41 anything that I could make myself feel better about what was occurring. 27:44 But every day I'd see after the surgery, it was just constant fear. 27:49 Fear every time I'd feel something. 27:52 Because my gait and having to hold onto the furniture and it was scary. 27:57 So I'm going to put on my doctor hat right now. 28:00 And I explained to you in our audience, like, after having something like this removed, you know, something of this size removed, 28:09 it takes some time for the brain to adjust. 28:14 And there's a lot of swelling inside the brain, but you also had swelling on the outside, you know, where the scar was. 28:19 It takes some time for, you know, this again was growing for at least a decade to maybe more. 28:25 So your brain had to, you know, reacclimate to not having that big mass in your head. 28:31 And there are shifts in fluid that happen. 28:33 And so what happened to Mev was after the surgery, she didn't have double before the surgery, she had double after the surgery because some of the nerves 28:41 were impacted by these changes in the brain and by the surgery itself. 28:45 The good news is, and I know you went through a very fearful period because all these new symptoms were popping up, but the good news is, 28:52 you know, the brain has a tremendous capacity to heal as the rest of our body does. 28:58 And you started off in a really good place because you were healthy to begin with. 29:02 You didn't have any really chronic medical conditions you were grappling with, so you started off in a really good place. 29:08 And it takes some time, but the brain can do it. 29:11 There is neuroplasticity, there is this capacity for the brain to be resilient and heal. 29:17 And over time, it took some time, it's not overnight or even over a few weeks, but it took some time and your symptoms did slowly improve. 29:27 And you remember, I don't know if you remember though at that time, but you were coming to see me pretty regularly for these vision issues and over time 29:33 your papal edema got better and over time your double got better. 29:36 And so, you know, I just had to, you know, keep supporting you during this process. 29:40 But what was going on from your standpoint like during the months after surgery? 29:45 You did. 29:46 You explained. 29:48 And I am somebody who has to understand. 29:50 I just wanted to understand what was happening. 29:54 And I can tell you, it took six months. 29:56 And I remembered a day where I no longer saw my feet turn into four. 30:03 It was at the six-month mark. 30:05 What was happening during that time, you ask, as far as... 30:09 Just you're going through your mind, like, I know you said you were very fearful, like, what's going to happen next? 30:14 Is this normal? 30:15 Is this not normal? 30:16 Like, did you eventually kind of come to terms with it? 30:19 Like, okay, this is going to get better? 30:21 Or were you still very fearful? 30:23 I was fearful. 30:24 I was hopeful that it would get better. 30:26 I was hoping it would, but I'm not going to sit here and say, you know, I know it's going to get better. 30:34 My goal was to do what I could do for myself. 30:42 What were you doing for yourself to support your healing process? 30:46 I did what I could do. 30:48 Like I said, I got up every morning and walked. 30:50 It was winter. 30:50 I wrapped myself up really good and I would go out and walk. 30:56 I listened to music. 30:57 I love music. 30:59 And if that meant that I just sat there in my emotion and put music on and at times, I'll tell you, I just cried. 31:08 I needed to cry because I think it was more of, I don't know what to do and what's going to be. 31:14 I felt like I was looking at myself from the outside in and nobody around me gets it. 31:22 No one. 31:23 Right? 31:24 I mean, unless you've been through a similar journey, even people with different types of brain tumors, no one's journey is exactly the same as yours. 31:32 No. 31:32 No. 31:33 You know, they would ask and I would tell them, they're like, oh, that happens to me. 31:36 You know, I feel that. 31:37 I'm like, yeah, you know, we're not talking about it yet. 31:40 So I went into what I would call self preservation and self care. 31:46 These are my appointments. 31:48 This is what I'm going to do. 31:50 I followed everybody's lead. 31:53 What you would tell me, my surgeon would tell me. 31:55 I was seeing a radiation specialist as well. 31:59 Many times I would just sit there trying to reassure myself by all of the words that you, all of you as my specialist would explain to me. 32:08 So what I would do is to try to make myself feel better is replay our conversations. 32:14 I felt like, okay, they're professionals, they're talent. 32:17 Then I would tap into my own knowledge. 32:19 I was like, yeah, okay. 32:21 I would try to make sense of it and that would give me hope. 32:23 But really it was just do what I can do, walk, stay healthy, try and eat the best that I could, stay positive as much as I could. 32:34 I spent a lot of alone time and sat with it for some time. 32:40 And yeah, I'd tell you today that I noticed when I tied my sneakers and my feet didn't go die. 32:46 It's like, you know, those. 32:50 It was like, yeah, you know, and every time I get a little bit more sensation, I mean, I am acutely aware of my body. 32:56 It was, I would get these sensations in little areas first. 33:01 And I knew that was healing. 33:03 So I can tell that the body was healing. 33:05 So that was always a good, like, all right, good day. 33:08 I got a little bit more here. 33:09 Okay. 33:09 I got to feel a little bit more there. 33:12 Yeah, yeah. 33:13 Just for our audience, you know, when someone has a surgery like that, when the skull is opened up, the nerves are cut. 33:20 And so the sensation is affected to the face. 33:23 And that's what Meb is talking about. 33:25 Like, she had lost sensation in parts of her face after the surgery. 33:29 And, you know, again, the body has a tremendous capacity to heal. 33:32 It takes time, though. 33:34 And what percentage of it is back to normal right now? 33:37 Oh boy. 33:38 I got to tell you, if I compare it to the way it used to be, when I used to do this, I used to feel like I was hitting plastic. 33:46 That's like the adults, it felt dull. 33:48 I would say in the high 90s, I could feel touch. 33:52 I can feel my head in a way. 33:55 I mean, it's amazing what the body can do. 34:00 It is. 34:01 It is. 34:02 And what everybody did, I have all my pre-op reports and the operative, when I read what they did in there, I was like, I have a new found respect for 34:15 healthcare specialists and professionals. 34:16 And what they did, it's just, it's mind blowing, mind blowing. 34:21 Cause if any little thing could have went wrong, And it's amazing. 34:26 But of course, I can respect that to read what was done during that time. 34:32 It's amazing. 34:33 And you had one of the best care teams possible, my colleagues that I work with uptown at Mount Sinai. 34:38 So you were in excellent hands and you still are. 34:42 So I wanted to ask you, you know, our time together is coming to an end soon, Mev, but I wanted to ask you a few last questions before I let you go. 34:50 What about getting back to your normal activities? 34:52 Like, what about getting back to work? 34:54 Like, when did that happen? 34:56 And how did you feel when you started, you know, when you made that decision to go back to work and even started a new company, 35:01 right? 35:01 Your own company. 35:02 So talk a little bit about that. 35:05 I was afraid to go back to work because I knew I still needed to do per diem because of the appointments and I really didn't have the strength. 35:12 I was afraid to go back because in the schools, anything can happen. 35:16 I knew there were times that I would have to be really quick. 35:20 You hear that walkie talkie go on and there are times where you grab a bag and you run. 35:24 It took me about eight months to get back to work because the vision and all of that. 35:31 Once I felt a little strong, I said, okay, I can do that. 35:34 I would say for about a year that was, yeah, six to eight months and then doing per diem. 35:40 I was looking, I started to look for full-time work and I needed it to be close to home because I just, again, my body, it was not easy coming back to work. 35:50 explaining your gap and your resume and you haven't been a director in a while and I didn't think anybody needed to know my story. 35:59 It's very personal, it's private. 36:02 It is. 36:03 And you had just gone through it, so it's very fresh. 36:06 It was amazing how I couldn't enter back into the workforce. 36:14 This went on for over a year, I'll be honest with you, it was very difficult. 36:18 Even after just eight months of not working, it was difficult to get back into the workforce. 36:22 Yes. 36:23 Yes. 36:24 Very much so. 36:26 And I would hear the same response over and over. 36:28 Well, you know, you haven't been a director in a while.
Return to work and life after surgery 36:30 Like what? 36:31 Like all of a sudden I have amnesia and I don't remember how to be a, because I was at a director VP level. 36:36 But regardless, there was somebody I had met along the way. 36:41 I had asked her if I can come do some work in the office. 36:44 It was a home care agency. 36:46 And again, it allowed me flexibility. 36:48 I did tell her what was going on. 36:50 And then she just said to me, she goes, why don't you just start an LLC? 36:54 She goes, come in here. 36:55 She goes, I could use you in my operation. 36:57 Help me with the compliance. 36:59 I said, okay. 37:00 And there it was. 37:02 some it just the opportunity. 37:05 Yeah fell into your lap. 37:06 Yeah jumped on it and you know it's funny because after I did I was like all right well that's great I have no plan and that was like 2017-18 I started 37:17 doing that and I sported my LLC and then I was on to I started to focus on A lot of marketing and how to get clientele and my own personal model is in 37:28 this current like healthcare reform. 37:30 And I've enjoyed it. 37:31 I've enjoyed it. 37:32 But that just felt, that came out of nowhere. 37:34 And it was perfect. 37:36 Cause it gave me the ability to really control my schedule. 37:40 At that time, the appointments started slowing down. 37:42 It was the first year I was constantly seeing. 37:44 Yeah, that's okay. 37:45 Yeah. 37:48 So, yeah, so again, your story is just so incredible in so many ways, like, you know, going through that journey of the diagnosis, 37:56 the treatment, the recovery, but then what happened afterwards, you know, this incredible opportunity professionally that came up. 38:05 And from my perspective, you are doing so well, you know, there are really no deficits whatsoever. 38:10 You know, when I test you, everything is great. 38:13 And I'm just, you know, honored to have been part of your care and Really, your resilience really shines. 38:21 So yeah, I want to thank you. 38:22 No, thank you. 38:25 I would have never gotten through this without, like you said, the care team, the compassion, the support. 38:35 My emotions when I walked into your offices, you were all beyond, I mean, what do you say? 38:42 You know, thank you is not enough. 38:44 I trust, I know that what was done and I mean, I know I'm in good hands and you know. 38:52 Yeah, no, it's been quite a journey. 38:55 It's been quite a journey. 38:57 And I have to say it's, you know, it's our privilege to take care of patients like you and people trust their care in our hands. 39:03 That's really the greatest reward. 39:05 But if you wanted to, you know, say a few last words for our audience, if there's a thought or anything that you want to really reinforce, 39:13 what would that be, Mev? 39:15 Listen to our bodies. 39:17 Our bodies talk to us. 39:19 When I look back, as you brought up as women and how we are and how we look at things, I wish I would have taken more control of the situation gone a step 39:32 further with things and finding the right people, finding the right professionals. 39:37 allowing your emotions to be real but not letting them take you over because my ability to find my inner strength and again with the support got me through 39:49 some of the roughest times and they were dark times for me. 39:51 So, you know, what's there to say? 39:54 I'm preventative care and I say this because I wondered many times, I'm like, if I would have went for an eye exam. 40:01 I didn't wear glasses, I didn't have, you know, why would I go for an eye exam? 40:05 Yeah. 40:06 You know, that's one of my big messages is after 40, go get your eyes checked. 40:10 Even if, like you said, like even if your vision's 20-20, get your eyes checked. 40:14 Because as eye doctors, we can see things that other doctors may not pick up. 40:20 And we can pick up things like brain tumors and autoimmune disease and it's just make it up a routine part of your care. 40:26 That's why I said, listen to your body, preventative care, find the right support system. 40:32 To me, that was key. 40:34 That was key. 40:36 All those aspects are so important and so beautifully said. 40:40 I really appreciate your getting that message across. 40:44 For sharing your story with us, I know it's a very personal story. 40:48 I know when I asked you to come as a guest on the podcast, you had your hesitations, but I'm so glad that you did it because it will help others. 40:56 It really helps. 40:58 Yeah. 41:00 Thank you. 41:00 Thank you. 41:01 Thank you for sharing. 41:03 And I wanted to thank you all for tuning in for the podcast this week. 41:07 Again, it was a very unique episode. 41:10 I love sharing my patients' stories. 41:12 And if you know of anyone whom maybe listening to this podcast would help them in their health journey, doesn't necessarily mean that they have to have 41:19 a brain tumor, but any other eye issue or brain issue or general health issue, please share this podcast with them. 41:26 because it can really, Mev's journey and story can really hopefully uplift other people and give them, you know, a source of hope and strength. 41:34 So again, thank you for being with us and thank you for listening and please share and subscribe so we can grow and impact more people. 41:41 So thank you all. 41:42 Thank you for tuning in to the IQ Podcast. 41:45 I hope you enjoyed today's episode and learned something new to help you boost your IQ. 41:51 Leave us a review and share the podcast with your family and friends. 41:56 Stay connected with me for more eye-opening insights on eye health, nutrition, and lifestyle. 42:02 Until next time, keep your vision clear and your IQ sharp.
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