BRINGING MOM HOME
Phil Vassar is undoubtedly one of country music’s greatest singer/songwriters. Phil made his debut on the country music scene in the late 1990s. In 1999, he was named by American Society of Composers, Authors, and Publishers (ASCAP) as Country Songwriter of the Year.
In his career, Phil has charted nineteen singles on Billboard’s Hot Country Songs, including two which peaked at No. 1.
Phil and his two sisters graciously agreed to share their family’s story of their mother, Dianne, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease about 5 years ago. It is a heartwarming story of a family’s unwavering devotion to their mother and what led them to make their decision regarding her care as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic.
“Hey Mom, how are you doing today? Do you have your coffee?” asked Phil when he logged into FaceTime for a video call with his mom, just like he did every day.
His mother lived alone in Lynchburg, VA, where he and his two sisters grew up in a very loving home. Phil and his mom enjoyed their daily coffee klatches via FaceTime, but it was also the way that he was able to check on her since her Alzheimer’s diagnosis. Dianne was now in her early 70s and had noticeably been forgetting things, which was unusual for her.
His sister, who lived close to their mom in Lynchburg called and/or visited her every day as well. Phil’s other sister would also call from her home in Florida to visit with her and to make sure she was all right. As a family, this was the way they had collectively decided to monitor her while she continued to live alone after her diagnosis. At that point in time, she was still very independent and not in need of any assistance with her activities of daily living … yet.
Their mom had always been their rock, and the three of them worried about the unaccounted-for hours of the day when one of them was not visiting or speaking with her over the phone. They agreed they would implement an alternative plan once they believed she had reached that stage in her Alzheimer’s disease.
Over the next several years that Dianne lived alone, Phil would have her come stay with him in Nashville for months at a time. She really enjoyed her visits with him and was also able to see her five grandchildren who also lived in Nashville. Dianne loved being close to her grandchildren and being a part of their lives. It was something that she truly treasured. They all had a wonderful time together and many of Phil’s friends would visit Dianne while she was there. She was loved and adored by all!
When she was back home in Lynchburg, she had a close circle of friends that would regularly get together. They would go to lunch, or a variety of other social activities, like going for walks.
Then the COVID-19 pandemic reared its ugly head and changed our lives as we knew it, especially for those who suffered from Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. Dianne was no longer able to socialize with her friends and grew increasingly isolated and lonely.
She seemed to withdraw and lose her vibrancy, and she regularly expressed to her family that she was extremely unhappy. “I don’t want to live like this anymore,’ she would say to them.
“After the COVID pandemic dismantled our lives, my mom was living by herself and had friends and family to spend time with. All that changed after COVID. The fallout from COVID was way bigger than we all realized.
We are social beings and need to interact with those we are close to and care about, but all that was taken away after COVID. Our mom was extremely lonely and felt completely isolated when she was living alone after the pandemic, so we asked her what she’d like to do, and she said that she wanted to move to Nashville to be close to her son and her 5 grandkids.
We noticed that after a period of being alone all the time, her outlook on life was very bleak! Now she’s happy. There was no question in our minds what the decision was going to be! This is our mom…she took care of us…now it’s our turn to take care of her.
The way she told us that she was lonely and tired of spending her entire life by herself hit a nerve. It was so emotional! I felt she was telling us that life was not worth living if it was going to be in solitude.
So, my family made the move to Nashville happen and she is so happy now. It has made a huge difference in the quality of her life. Personally, for us, the right thing to do was to move our mother to Nashville with us so she wouldn’t have to be isolated and imprisoned in her own home.
Her isolation came directly out of the COVID situation. I believe isolation is like solitary confinement…it’s a punishment, a torture. Solitude is a terrible thing, and we weren’t going to let that happen to our mother.”
This video is presented by Alzheimer’s Treatment Centers of America.
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