Family Business Done Right: Lessons from Siblings Who Made It Work

Opening Banter and Coffee Jokes 0:00

Your cortisol is always really high. It's maximum. My heart rate is 355 right now. And I'm having a double espresso. That's your third coffee of the day. But you drink coffee like water. We all know this. I don't do that. You're in denial. Cigarettes maybe but not coffee. All right, welcome back. Another episode of Sibling RX. I'm Dr. Roddy. And we have, conveniently, we Dr Yas, her mouth tape today, which is like a dream come true. So I am going to do all the talking today. Today we are talking about family businesses.

We have talked a little bit about our background and what we do. When siblings work together, you work with any family members, some of you guys listening or watching may have that situation. I figured a perfect way for us to talk about this is to tape her mouth so she can't contribute whatsoever. No, but in all seriousness, is that like a waxing too?

Mouth Tape and Breathing Habits 0:58

It'll wax your upper lip? Yes. Well, that was a fun 13 seconds of bliss that lasted 13. Uh, we never talked about that tape before, did we? No, no. You want to tell them what that is? Yeah. So there's a couple of different brands you can get. I just got a cheap brand on Amazon, but it just helps people train to keep their mouth closed. A lot of people are mouth breathers and don't realize it. And that affects your entire microbiome in your mouth, which in turn, is one of the first ways to affect your gut microbiome because what you're breathing in through your mouth goes into your system directly.

So it really helps with not just the microbiomes portion of your health but also it helps structurally so that kids that are maybe they suck their thumbs or They have a really arched palate from other reasons. Like my daughter had, she was a thumb sucker, but she also had a very severely deviated septum. So even though we fixed her septal and she doesn't suck her thumb anymore, thank God she's 15. But she still has a high palate and they did the oral expander for the palate expender before she got braces.

Um, but now with everything being fixed structurally, she's still not used to using her nose because for so long she couldn't breathe through her knows. So I'm trying to retrain her to breathe her mouth. I don't have her sleeping with it at night yet because it freaks her out. But during the day to school, right? Right. Actually I have, her more importantly, I had her wear it home when we're all up so that she doesn't talk. That's messed up. Yeah. Forced it. That cool. So today we're kind of going to pivot a little bit from health and wellness.

Any of that stuff. I thought it would be a cool topic to talk about how do people that work in a family business coexist without killing each other,

Why Family Businesses Are Challenging 3:14

having restraining orders, or things like that. So we've been in business successfully for almost 25 years, 25 next February. And a little bit of background, we worked together with our mom for many, many years. 20, 20 years, 19 years. Well, yeah, she started the business with me. Yeah. And then she was with us for 20 in the businesses. Which was great. It's a great way to get close to somebody in your family, but it has its challenges, which we'll get into. And then I know you've brought this up a couple of times already, then how the dynamic of that changed after she passed and how we figured out a way to balance stuff, you know, because it's kind of like a massive reorg that you're not prepared for.

Yeah, especially when she handled. Wait, first, can you put your phone on like, do my phone is on vibrate? No, Do not disturb. I don't know how to do that. It's the top. You know. How there's a focus thing. No, my phone doesn't focus. Yeah, phone does not do that. Give me your phone. Oh, I think I just saw it. Let's see here. Is it the red one? Give you your. Don't mess up my settings. So see, that's good. That's what coworkers do. So yeah, so a lot of that changed. And then during those 20 years, we had a lots of different things that happened.

Life things happened, you had life things, I had live things. Meanwhile, were still running a business, trying to maintain that. You had to step out for a while to deal with stuff, just not as available and stuff. So we have to kind of restructure. For me, it's always been, when you're in the office or when your work mode, that's what your mode. You know, trying not to bring family stuff to work and obviously not trying to take work stuff home. I mean, yeah, I don't think I think we do a pretty good job maintaining just work, stuff at work.

And then, you know unless like something happened and I could see you were bothered by something personally or I'm bothered something personal and then we're able to talk to each other during the day. But yeah. We do a good job keeping it professional, but I also feel like... The downside of all of it is that we were so close growing up always. We even in chiropractic school, we didn't go to the same undergrad clearly, but definitely did not go wildcats. So yeah, Harvard of STDs. Hey, what number one in everything, innovation and STDS.

It's okay, it's still number 1. Right. Yeah. But, and we live together in Chiropractics school but I feel like working together has put a, has made us a little bit farther apart. Even though we live next to each other, we don't hang out like we used to hang. Yeah. Right. But it's life. It's not, for me, it not like, Oh, let's try not to. Hang out. No, no, I think it just, is a combination of like. We always see each. Other, but then also like our kids have different interests. You know, We just have.

Now if you wore the tape more often, right. I'm sure that would be, you know. No, I think you're right. You're like going a million miles an hour during the week. And then when you when your weekends or nights hit, which is this is no excuse. It's kind of like you don't want to. be around that other stuff, even though we don't hate what we do. We love, we love nobody. I mean, for me, I'm not like, oh my gosh, two more days till Friday. Oh, it's Sunday night and we got it. You know, you know I've never thought that way and I am not being like a weird optimist, but it is just I don t feel that.

The day I feel like that is the day that I have to be like all right, all I got to do is I m out. I look forward to my weekends. I like the challenges of the week, you know, and then sometimes during it you're like, oh my God, this is annoying, but we have really amazing people in our organization and they take such a burden off of us and our family, I think we've always treated them like family. One thing I was thinking about. You run on such an intense frequency. Always. Always. Don't be scared.

Right. Like your cortisol is always really high.

Roles, Communication, and Structure 7:50

It's maximum. My heart rate is 355 right now. Yeah. And I'm having a double espresso. That's your third coffee of the day. But you drink coffee like water. So anyways, we all know this. I don't do that. You're in denial. Cigarettes maybe, but not coffee. Tobacco, cigarettes, whatever. Zins, the new. A dip and I smoke at the same time. Then I have a hookah nest on my desk. Which explains all your inflammation? But anyways, we did that Colby score where is like you you base It's an assessment based on how how you it's not even a personality It was more like a work assessment of like how do you function at work?

And it was interesting because we scored fairly similar more similar than our other our Other exec team but we're so different because like I'm a little bit more of an introvert where I need to recharge and like reassess and I don't function without doing my breath work in the morning. If I miss my breathe work, my stress levels are through the roof during the day because I work with you. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah, so, but then you're the opposite. Like you just like wake up. The other night we were in Flagstaff together, right?

And you fell asleep on the couch and I couldn't wake you up, we're watching TV and it was late and i'm like, let's just go to bed. And I was trying to get you. Up and you wouldn't. Wake up and. I kept saying Rod wake. from like the other side of the room. Wake up. And you, you were dead asleep. You were like snoring. Your dead to sleep. So then I walked over to you and I shook your foot and the entire room like I was like, Oh my God, You woke up so startled. I scared me. Oh, my god. He's like stress.

Even when he's sleeping. No, I'm not. Anyways, but you just run on a different frequency. When I lay down, I'm out. I know. And then when you wake up, it's like... I make it a point to get up before my alarm. Like I am ready to go and I don't have to have a cup of coffee. You have an IV coffee? Yeah, that's right. It's an espresso IV. The other thing people I think sometimes perceive that, oh, you work with your family. That must be so great. Or you worked with family, so it is great to be able to trust your Yes, for us, absolutely.

That's been the story. Well, you hear people that work with their family and some family like to hurt family. They think, well, it's family, I'm gonna hurt them, but they're not gonna leave because they are family so just because you're family it doesn't mean that you should cut corners in, For example, partnership agreements, operating agreements. What do you call it? Organizational charts, all the things that, kind of like a B plus at, you know, we're not like A plus bulletproof, but we have that stuff together, right?

We have to update it regularly. But I think sometimes people think when you work with family, oh, it's fine. And that's when, unfortunately, families kind husband and wife or brothers or sisters or family businesses that don't have their stuff together because they just assume we're in this safety umbrella. Well, it's my family. They're not going to run with the money. And they're going walk all over me. It happens all the time. I mean, luckily, knock on wood, we don' have that issue. No, no. Not that you know of at least.

Yeah, I have heard and I know so many partnerships that are siblings or parents and kids and they've just disintegrated. It's sad. You think you're in a safe place and you think it's going to be easier to work with family and at times it can be but at time it is more challenging than easy. you know, and the things that should be easy should, be given like trust, you, know and just reliability and dependability. But sometimes those things just don't, they don, don t work. And it's really unfortunate.

Yeah. I think there's just an assumption that it s going to be there. They'll be, there for me, but it doesn't mean that you take advantage of it. Um, I, think for us, um, defining our roles, which again, give us a B plus in that. Yeah. Cause so much happens at once. Um, and we, we tend to do so. Much of everything. You know, where it's like, there's no clear line. Okay. you handle this and I handle. But you know it. Because we have so many things going on at one time. And again, I was thinking about it just on that call I.

Was on before when I walked in here today and. I Was thinking. About when. call without mentioning it, like, do we need to do this right now? You know, I was thinking about that, but I tend to function better when I have a lot of projects and I kind of categorize them like this is pressing, we to this now, this one's on kind like the back burner and this ones on like five burners back, you know? And I know for people around me, that can be overwhelming. Maybe you sometimes, maybe when mom was around, overwhelming, but I tend to have to different things that I can touch.

And as they become more visible, then I'm like, okay, now that's a front burner thing. Now that we have deal with that, whatever that is. For me, it's all always growth or solving a problem or fulfilling a need. Obviously, we're entrepreneurs, so we want to monetize, but we also need to make sure as healthcare providers, what is the need that we are fulfilling? What is whole that were filling? Anyway, that's tangent. I'm just thinking about that. But I function. not stress, but overstimulated in a way to be able to accomplish those other things.

Coping After Their Motheru2019s Passing 14:00

Yeah. No, your high quarters all function. I just, I don't, and I'm like a, let me go meditate for a second. That's a clear way that we're different. Um, communication is important. It's very difficult to carve out time. and say, hey, let's touch base. Because sometimes for me, it's like, I don't have the patience to re-explain everything. I'm like hey if you weren't there when this discussion happened, sorry, like I, don' want to go through it again. It's I wish I could have recorded it, but I think communication's important when you're working with family of whatever capacity.

In this case, its siblings, other people could be different things. Communication, think it important to carve out that time and kind of go, what's going on in your, work world, like, what do I need to know about and what you need about? And that could be a 30 minute conversation once a week. It could a 15 minute while we're independently driving home or whatever. You know what I mean? We used to have our weekly Wednesday meetings, which were good, but we just don't have time for that now. I know they're filled with other things, but I think communication is important.

I Think documenting things and making sure that, you know, God forbid something were to happen, that the company is in order. Like things are in place, operating agreements, buy, sell agreements. Dissolution agreements those are all in play. So that way, You know you, don't have an issue if something tragic were happen. We were a three way partnership with our mom. And when that happened, It was like, thank goodness we had what we have. It wasn't easy, especially dealing with all that stuff. And she was well-prepared, right?

Yeah. Oh yeah, it was because of her. Yeah, her law background helped with that. So, but yeah. Um, yeah it's, It definitely changed the dynamic because more, I feel like she passed away, what? Six years ago. Right before COVID. No, during COVID, Yeah 21. Um, but it puts so much more on each one of our plates. Like the amount of workload that we now have is, I'd say double for both of us. Yeah. Easily. And then dealing with that and how do you go through that crisis, personal crisis pandemic, right?

You know, the world turned upside down and how do you manage through that? So I, I sometimes think we got through, that we can get through anything because that was like so many on so levels. So many different layers of emotion, you know where, we had to take the personal side of it and then handle. I remember when she was passing away and I had a rush to her account and make sure that everything was transferred. Do you remember that? Otherwise they would have frozen her liquid assets. That's one beauty of working with family is just knowing that that stuff will get done.

But again, I don't think people should cut corners if they're working family. I think that they should just assume certain things are getting done, you have to delegate, document, circle back, have structure, all those things. There's obviously a lot of great perks. advantages in working with a family member or family members. And I think one of the neatest things I see is when a Family business is handed down generation after generation, you know,

Family Business Pros, Cons, and Core Values 17:28

really common in the restaurant industry and other industries too. I mean, that's, it's cool if you have kids that want to take over what you do or it has been handed to you from like your great grandfather and whatnot. Ours definitely don't want that. No, no, I don t think so. and I do not blame them. But that is always neat to see because that means that they have a really good model and And they've let it evolve naturally from when they started 50 years ago to today. You know, those people, the people that started to let, let evolve and not just stuck with the old ways.

So it's kind of cool to see. And when we were starting out too, people loved, Like I remember when you joined the practice, everyone loved that we brother and sister were working together, you know, and we were in one office together. We split days and then as we expanded, we rotated around, but everyone just loved. So it was just, I can imagine people not liking some type of a family vibe. And I think that, uh, that core value, like starting that way is something that we've done up and down with, like instilling that within the company, whether it's, you know, people that we see in a day-to-day or clinics.

But I think overall, a lot of our team really understands that that's a part of identity and they try to embody those same kind of skills within their team, of each individual office, which is good. Because patients sense that. Patients want to be a part of a family environment. They don't want be apart of, you know, kind of cold, corporatey thing. And we always encourage when employees have siblings that want work with us, we like that, like we have some cousins and sisters and what not that all work for us.

So, yeah, it makes it more, the core values is more consistent. Yeah, I think so too. So, so I, thank you. We said, we just, there's some perks and there are some challenges when you work with family. I it's doable as long as you're organized and communication and, and roles are defined, you know, it could be a great thing, You know? And if you don't, It could an absolute nightmare. Like we said earlier. For instance, if we both were high cortisol, We would be 10 times more successful. Ten times, maybe 20 times.

No, no, we would definitely like be self-destructive. I think any organization, there's difference in personalities and that's what people grow, right? Because you see a problem with a different set of lenses. And we kind of go, how do we collaborate what we're seeing? Take an average of what were seeing and problem solve. So no I agree. If two people were the same, two leaders were same that would be a problems. Yeah, it's like you can't have two like you know, high spender people be married to each other.

You got to have one saver and one spanner, you now or two savers really. But yeah, it's, or like too high, someone who wants to party all the time, You can't have two people that want to Party all that time. Who's going to take care of the kids? Yeah. Themselves. Yeah, that was good. I mean, I think that it, people don't know that we started out as a family organization and I You know, of course it has its pros and cons of working together, but overall if you can respect one another, balance each other out, and have good communication and things set in place to maybe eliminate future issues if one member ends up, you know leaving or passing away, it'll just simplify things for you, so.

So if anybody listening or watching currently works or has worked with their family, we'd love to hear about your story.

Closing Thoughts and Listener Call to Action 21:08

So please comment below and let us know what are the ups and downs that you've experienced working with family. I also think that it would be neat to get people that are in family businesses of different scopes and different fields to collaborate. I've been a part of a lot of masterminds. That'd be kind of interesting. Comment below and let us know what your wins and struggles have been. Please make sure you subscribe, like, share. We appreciate the support and we'll talk to you soon. Bye. The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice.

While we may be licensed healthcare professionals, this content should not be used to diagnose or treat any medical condition or to replace the advice of your personal healthcare provider. Always consult your doctor or a qualified health professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Listening to this podcast does not create a doctor-patient relationship. Reliance on any information provided is solely at your own risk.