Heal your Body by Healing your Mind

Introduction to the Reverse Autoimmune Detox Series 0:00

Welcome back to the reverse Autoimmune Disease Summit series everybody. I'm Doctor Kisha and this is the fourth iteration of the reverse autoimmune disease series. We're doing the autoimmune detox this time. Of course, we're working off of those four corner pieces of the puzzle that we have to address if we're going to reverse autoimmunity, which are healing your trauma, making sure that your toxic burden is releasing, making sure that your gut is healthy, and then looking at genetics and mitigating any of those that want to express themselves in disease patterns and making sure that they don't.

So in this particular reverse autoimmune disease series, we're going to be talking about autoimmune toxicity from the spirit, the mind, the heart and the energy body and the physical body. So when we talk about detox, we're not just talking about green smoothies. And my guest today is really right along this line. And I'm so excited to introduce her to you. Her name is Talia Harbert and she's a mindset expert. She's a certified ICF International Coaching Federation coach and a certified personal development facilitator.

She's the founder of Alpha, which is Alpha by Talia and is currently dedicating her life to working with women that are suffering with multiple sclerosis and healing their bodies and improving their lives. And then Alpha stands for authenticity, love, freedom and abundance. Welcome to this series, Talia. Thank you so much. That's okay. I'm so happy to be here. I'm excited. I'm really happy you're here. I was interviewed by you for your summit, and I just remember going, oh, I have to have you. You have such wonderful energy.

You know, you're just very, very heart centered and open, and you're along that same path of, we have to heal the whole system. And so that's why I invite you to come to this particular series, because our viewers and listeners know exactly what you're talking about. You're not having to preach to the choir here. So I always whenever I interview somebody, I want to start with how they got to be doing what they're doing today. And everybody has a very unique story, and I would love for you to share yours.

Yeah, of course I'd love to. So, I was born in Israel, born and raised in Israel, and I don't know how much our listeners know, but being in the conflict over there as a child can get scary. And I always told myself that I have to be like a very strong person to deal with that. You know, like you wake up in the morning, you take the bus going somewhere you don't know if you're going to. If somebody put a bomb on the bus, you got to jump on. So the fear, the constant fear of like, am I going to be attacked?

Talia's Childhood, Identity, and Early Survival Patterns 2:51

How can I protect my family? But I'm just a child. I can't protect anybody. So there's like a lot of thoughts, a lot of fears, and a lot of, like, I need to be somebody. I don't know if I even am to survive in this life. A lot of thoughts about survival. And then, I grew up, had my own life experiences. Like my father left, I realized at a very young age that I'm actually attracted to women and I'm Jewish. Like, that's wrong. And hearing from my mother, like a lot of stories about, I think she was, realizing that I might be gay.

So she was saying she didn't know how to deal with that. She did her best, but she was like, saying some stuff that really hurt me. Like, oh, those people are sick or stuff like that. So I grew up with a lot of, shame, with a lot of guilt. I'm wrong. I'm not good enough. And I was always trying to, I was focusing on the outside because the inside was not enough for me in the way I saw it. And so, I grew up, I got to the U.S, I got married, to a man. And, it's like nothing was enough for a time. Marriage was great.

I started a whole new business, learn a new language. I everything was great. Like most people, they would look at, my life would be, well, I want your life. Whatever you have there, I want it right now. I want it yesterday. And for me, it was never enough. Nothing was good enough. And there was sadness that, was part of everything that I did, and I couldn't understand why. So at some point, I started my own, journey in personal development and started diving in and and asking questions and finding answers and learning myself, and during this journey, I, I was diagnosed with a mess, multiple sclerosis. And, well, before the diagnosis, I realized that things are not exactly working, and I and in my marriage, I at some point closed my business because I realized the difference that these kind of work do for people.

So I'm like, I want to learn it on a deeper level, because if I realize how my life changed because it was like extreme change, I became super happy. Understand that I had all the answers. I, I stopped doing things that didn't make me happy, that I thought I was supposed to do as a human or woman in the world. And, and I just was like, it was amazing. So I start studying it, right? Just to be able to deliberate in my vision was, if I can understand that, I, I have the choice at every moment to create the life that I want to feel, how I want to feel, to think the way that actually is, supporting the life that I want to live.

Everybody can. So I want to bring this work to Israel, and I want everybody that I love to see it, to feel like to experience it, to live it. I was so passionate about it. I think I still am. I can feel it. And, and I just, I dove in, I left anything else and I filled in. And then at some point I got the diagnosis and it was really hard. I'm like, oh my God, I finally thought that I'm charge my life. I finally thought that I'm worth something, that life worth is worth something. And now you're taking everything away from me.

Like I'm going to end up on a wheelchair. I'm just in my 30s. What's happening? And and of course, with all the work that I was doing, I learned how to manage it. I learned how to deal with it. And every day was better. It was a journey, like everything else in life. And, and in some point I realized that when I don't let my fear, my negative thoughts. Take my present, take me from the present moment, I'm actually managing it really well. When I started doing certain practices that I was teaching people how to do, and I was, you know, training them on how to create it in their lives, my mess was life changing.

It was disappearing. And nothing. And when I allowed my tests, my thing, my my fears, my stress to come to the present moment, things were different. So I started like it was for me. It was new. I was like, oh my God, wait a minute. My mind actually affects my body. What happened? Is there connection? I have no idea. That point, that connection was new for me and I was so excited about that. I started studying that and reading and I was like, oh my God. Like, I didn't think you know, it's real. I'm the science behind it.

And, and I really believe that there is a reason for everything that happens in our lives. So and we have purpose and we have a mission on, on this planet. And, and I guess that was my mission, but I needed some I needed the world to, to to tell me. Yes, yes, you're in a right place, but you are doing what you're doing. So what happened was into the trainings that I was in, the people with the mess start showing up. I've never even knew a mess with like existed until my diagnosis, and all of a sudden, after I had the realization that the work that I actually do changes our body changes, reverses autoimmune disease, and those people start showing up in my space.

And they were telling me, oh my God, I never felt so free in my body. Since my diagnosis, I never feel like I can choose everything. I never felt in charge of my body parts. I was like, oh my God, like there's a reason it's in my space. I get to focus on that. More and more people get to know, get to learn that they have the power to choose, and they can heal. And and since then, like that, that's my mission. That's what needs to happen on this earth and everyday. That's what I focus on. I'm passionate, I love it, and I think that human beings are, you know, we are so powerful.

There's so many opportunities for us. And I want to spread the message. I want everybody to know that.

Diagnosis, Mindset Work, and MS Symptom Improvement 9:08

So Kelly, thank you so much for sharing your your story. I find nobody does the work that we do without having a personal connection to it. And in your Vedic medicine, which is one of the things that I discovered after I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis 26 years ago, they say that autoimmune disease is undigested anger. And so when you go back into that space, right in your story, I remember kind of sitting back in my chair looking at the computer screen when I read that and thinking, but I'm not angry.

And then and then going, oh, probably my lack of awareness around anger that my body has had to take on because I have not acknowledged it, giving it permission, decided that this was a, human emotion that needed to be commissioned and then digested, which means moved through is maybe why I'm here right? And so when you look back and you think about, you know, I had sexual abuse in my past and I had some things, you know, that I should have been angry about, but wasn't I just sort of put them in a little box and stuck them in the back of the closet?

And I can see that, like getting on a bus. Not sure if you're going to get off the bus. You would do the same thing because you can't be governed by fear. So where's the fear going to go? Yeah, I actually I'm like you, very clear on the anger that I, I, I angry, I was angry the world I was angry at my mother, I was angry at the family member that touched me inappropriately. My father's friends had touched me inappropriately. I was angry at myself. Why? Why do I like women? It's wrong. I'm not supposed to be like that.

I was angry and like anything that existed in the world, and I carried it and I expressed it a lot. I actually remember when I came to the US, Israeli people are mostly tend to be like very, passionate and louder than what you mostly going to find in the US. And, and I remember when people were like, whoa, you're a feisty and like, no, I'm just having a conversation. So I think I remember being in Israel and thinking the same thing that you're just saying from the side that I was on as an American born, and then living for a lot of years in Japan where things are very quiet, you know, and you, you tiptoe around on rice paper mats and the walls are rice papers.

You're very quiet and you learn to be I, you know, as a child, I learned to be very demure. Right. And then going to Israel. And I was just like, whoa, you know. I was there, I and I loved it, I loved it, but it did seem angry to me at first, like, oh, no. And then I was able to start to see threads of passion there, but then I could feel underneath what was infusing that passion. And so I'm so curious about what rates of autoimmune disease are in certain countries. And it's interesting that a lot of the, the numbers that I found, according to different cultural values and habits, a lot of times the ones that are expressing anger freely don't have autoimmune disease, which is fascinating to me.

You know? Yeah, it is interesting. So, as you know, high as high numbers as in some places, but, it's not able to be acknowledged. Right. So anyway, another thing that I was thinking about when you were, talking about this is, you know, when you said I got underneath all this and then my M.S. started to change. One of the things I always talk about is the fact that we're not ever going to be curing our autoimmune disease. We're reversing it so that these genetics are still here. My my grandfather had RA right.

And they're still there. I'm not getting rid of my DNA. But the way that it manifests, right. My genetics express themselves. I can actually have something to say in that, you know, and so that if I were to go back to the way that I was when I was 30 and what I ate and how I managed my not managing my anger that I could actually have RA probably in six months again. And so when you think about medicine, you know, you said it changed. Where are you today with symptoms and things like that? I mean, today's amazing.

I remember at a time I couldn't see, I walked into a wall and realizing, oh my God, I didn't see this wall and I just ate it with my face. I lost my vision for a time. I lost the ability to walk even after I gained it. I constantly had almost the whole package. All of a mess. So mess really affects different parts of the body. There is, severe fatigue. I remember needing to take a break on the road stop in the side of the road, because I realized I can't keep my eyes open. I needed a nap in the middle of lunch because, you know, you just have to have it.

Or taking a nap after after after a shower. Usually a shower used to wake me up, you know, now I need to rest because I had, like, it was an activity for me or a numbness. I had numbness, both of my hands. The left hand barely used, numbness in my legs. Very weak knees. For a time I was walking with a cane to support me just in case. And today it's gone. It's gone. I mean, of course it's a whole package. I also eat healthier, and I constantly take care of myself. My mind, the work that I do is like it makes it easier for me because I just like now it's obvious it's the new way to live, but it just constant.

Right there is what I wanted to point to. I'm constantly taking care of myself, and I think that people don't realize they sort of think about health as a light switch. It's either on or it's off. Instead of a spectrum. And auto immunity is definitely on the spectrum, you know? So when you think about it that way, then, I know, like if you've had trauma in your background, then often women will will really want somebody outside of them, the little kid part of them want somebody outside of them to notice them and to read them and to be able if since I'm caregiving you, you're going to finally notice me, and then you're going to turn around and you're going to notice what I need, and you're going to provide that, that is an inaccurate myth.

And so, you know, I, I always want to point to the fact that this is a constant. This is a constant that you're not saying, okay, so my symptoms are reverse. Now I can go back and do what it was I do or that I've arrived. And so now there's this new normal that I can rest on. You know, the laws of physics say if you're not actually pushing forward, there's entropy. And so I think about this with autoimmunity too. And in your languaging as you're talking, I'm wanting to point that to people like, look, this is you are that important.

You are that important. And so this, this idea that I have to constantly be watching my thoughts, watching my own reactions to what life is delivering, not controlling what's out here, but watching how I interact with it. That is constant. Yes, you slip backwards and start moving into anger or pity or victimization or any of those numbers of things that are default settings from childhood. You can get your symptoms back. Yeah, yeah. I mean I had a really busy slash stressful like a month and a half and all of a sudden I had a few days of, you know, I was a little bit confused.

I had some brain, brain fog. And I mean, in the past there was, oh my God, why is it happening to me? I can't believe it's like life sucks. What? Why me? Why not somebody else? Today I'm like, oh my God, thank you for the reminder, right? I stopped taking care of me because I made other things. Then outside of myself. More important, thank you for reminding me that I get to choose myself every day when I wake up. And who's reminding you? Me, the planet, the universe, whatever is the me.

Autoimmunity, Constant Self-Awareness, and Emotional Triggers 17:18

This body that comes through my body so betrayed by, you know, this body is not behaving the way I want it to. This body isn't doing what I want. How come it's not? How come? How come how? You know, this body, this beautiful body is what told you, right? Hello. Wake up. I'm here. I need a little attention. Right here. Right. And so the body becomes this. Its own consciousness is delivering data to you. Information constantly. And I always think about autoimmunity as a disconnect between. Right. We're at war with our own systems.

And so moving forward toward the body, collaborating with the body just as it is, even if it's not functioning the way you want it to, just turning towards it and saying, how can I serve you? You have serve me. For I had my birthday yesterday. For me, it's 56 years, you know, and so it's like 56 years this body is serving. And of course, I'm not going to berate it if it's tired one day or you know what I mean. Or if my knee hurts while I'm hiking, I'll instead of like getting mad about that, I'm going to sit back and go, what did I eat?

You know what I'm saying? What? Okay, buddy, I hear you. Let me just check in again. You know, how can I serve you? How can I appreciate you better? How can I have more gratitude to you? And I always see people. And you probably see this in your practice. You like with autoimmunity. Feeling betrayed by their bodies. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes that's that's something that I've heard a few times. Also for my own family, I'm not the only person with autoimmune disorder. So it's something that I am familiar with, but I want to bring it back to what you said earlier, the word constant and show, really discuss about the fact that everything is constant.

The question is, are you doing it consciously or is it unconscious? Are you choosing it based on what you want to create or based on the life you thought you think you you got? Because what I did constantly before I was aware is telling myself that I'm unlovable because my father didn't choose me when I was younger, or I'm bad, I'm wrong. I'm I'm dirty because because I like women or that I'm not good enough. All of those things were constant, too. Yeah, it was direct. And actually every choice, every action that I took, every day, every thought that was in my mind.

Right? Because all of this is all of this is following, our beliefs. And I really believed in that. I start thinking those things when I was three years old. Of course, I believe that is one child who feels really wounded is constantly informing what's going on in your adult perceptual process. And do you want that? I always say, do you want to give the upset four year old the keys to your car? Exactly. And this is why it's a it's it's constant and it's a choice because you get to wake up in the morning and you get to start taking actions of the person that you know.

You are not the one you thought you were based on your past experiences, and start breaking those patterns that are actually reaffirming every day those negative thoughts about yourself. Because that's what we are doing every day, basically, for affirming those like, you're not good enough, you're stupid, you're ugly, they're better than you. And then when some piece of evidence emerges that shows that, see, I knew it right? And so you hope you focus on the event or the moment in life that supports that old messaging as proof positive, that what you said was true and ignore, like maybe the ten other things that prove that it wasn't.

Yeah. And you're saying the one little thing I really believe that we are actually creating this. Right. It's not just showing up because whatever I believe in is is there. Because whatever. You know based on where I grew up, the messages are heard when I grew up and my past experiences, that created a whole set of beliefs. And now the thoughts that I have are following those beliefs. And then the choice, the feelings, the choices and the actions that I take are all based on that. So if I believe that, let's say somebody I grew up in a house that my father cheated on my mother, okay.

For example. So as a child, I'm like, men are evil, men cheat, men betrayed, men are mean. You know, that's what I understood as a child. And imagine somebody grows up this way with these kind of thoughts, and then you're going to a relationship, let's say, with the men. And that's like to continue this example. But your thoughts are like men are mean, men are cheats, men betrayed. You can trust men. What kind of relationship is you going to create out of that? We are always responsible for the results.

You know, both partners are responsible. If it ends in a bad way. It has to do with my thoughts, with my actions, what I created. So I'm creating a scenario in my life. They're going to be like, Cecilia, you're right about that. They're right. And what I'm talking about also is you can get that thousand foot perspective too, and you can hear a story that says, oh, a bombing just happened in another city and say, see, people aren't trustworthy. The world is not safe. And yet you have not heard the ten other stories that happened in that same moment, in that it may be five mile radius of people being kind to each other, you know, and so it's it really is.

We're going to notice, we're going to attract and we're going to create exactly what that little kid, what their meanings and beliefs are. And then there's your world, right. But then there's also the world itself happening in response. And then you're going to pay attention to the places that support your belief system. And so then it just creates the suffering that we feel is so interesting. And the beautiful thing is we can actually shift it. Yes. And that's the power, the understanding that do you want to shift?

Do you understand that actually, I mean, it's hard sometimes to see that. Yes, we do have the choice in what to see. You know, we do have to choose what do we want to let into our to our space. You use the word response that I love because because whether I react or I respond is my choice. The world not going to change because you're choosing yourself, not because you're choosing to change, to work on yourself. The world's going like bad things going to keep happen. Some people are going to keep treating you bad.

How are you choosing to to process it and to respond? Is what actually going to make the difference in your life and your health? And that's that detoxification process that we're talking about. When I say autoimmune detoxification, because sometimes when you get to that place, you will notice there are people in your life and you might have to actually release people in your life that aren't following through with coming along in your own evolution and expansion. Yeah, yeah, I believe that. And a lot of people don't like hearing that and that's okay.

We, like you said at the beginning, right? We have the genetics. And it's not just the genetics. There's the expression of our genes over our cells. And and this is your mind. Like, this is where you are here in a way in control. And the fact that like when people hear they're like, no, no, no, no, no, I didn't create it. I didn't do it to myself. I just another way to like, bring what we're familiar with this anger that even though it's negative, it reminds us of of experiences and emotions that, you know, from our past.

But we're familiar with that. And you human beings, we like to feel there is safe in what we're familiar with. So we go directly, directly there and some other people take it to, oh my God, I did it to myself. Now are you blaming me? That's all here sometimes. And this is not about blaming and becoming victim to that. And actually you can take the exact same message and say, wait a minute. If I created it in a way, I actually have the ability to change it. And the same message can flip the whole picture give you so much power.

This is an empowering message. I mean, let's think about it. Some people, you know, died from certain diseases. Yeah, because they didn't realize that. But you have the power to choose right now. Choose yourself. Choose the lives of choose this process and reverse it. My, my my father died last week, and this is airing in April. So in February, on February 15th, he died and it was quite sudden, but he had had cancer. He had had chronic lymphocytic leukemia since 2002. And our journey together, was me working with him on the intense level of anger that he had and his inability to, in his own mind to be able to digest it.

And so over the years, he was on chemo first and then, then they changed into a different chemo. And then, about three years ago, he got pneumonia around Christmas time, and he almost died because. Because the chemo had knocked out. You know, you can't take an antibiotic if there's no immune system for it to rally with. And the chemo would just knock out everything. And so there was he was on like five rounds of antibiotics that everyone put him on and nothing. So he finally came to me and he said, all right, I am now hearing what you're saying, that he was really at death's door three years ago.

And I said, okay, had and he said, I'll, I'll, I'll I'm listening. I'll do anything. I said, it'll be hard now

Beliefs, Responsibility, and Rewriting Old Patterns 26:48

you're going to have to do some some heavy lifting mentally. Right. And he said, I'm ready. You've been talking to me about this for years, and we've been kind of doing it very, very slowly. And it's obviously not fast enough. And that was amazing because, you know, in that moment I saw in his eyes like, oh, yeah, all of this anger that I have not been willing to really get rid of, to jettison. I can feel it. Like he could just feel it in his body for the first time. And then the antibiotics not working.

He couldn't breathe, and he felt like he was really being buried underneath all that anger. And so for over the last three years, we had the most remarkable, oh so many amazing experiences as he really started getting underneath us. And he was chemo free for, you know, all that time his cancer went into remission. You know, after almost I was 15 years. They had it. So this is the kind of power that we're talking about when you when you really start talking about like the power of the mind, it's not just willing your impact, it isn't even willing yourself better.

It's not saying I want to be better. It's saying, what is it that's happening inside of my circuitry that's creating dis ease inside of this body? You know, that's a that's a whole different thing rather than mind over matter, right? Yeah. And I mean, I think and I'm relating to what I can understand what you're saying right now with those few years, because the part of the that he's unconscious that is part of our daily life is stress. Like that's constant even if we don't like, oh my God, I feel stressed right now.

Our mind is always creating stress. Besides what's already happening. Like think about Covid, you know, like that's stressful. Will I die tomorrow? Am I going to get it? Am I going to be in a hospital? That'll be stressed, stressful, right? And then your thoughts from the past, anger or I'm not good enough for any any beliefs that are not supporting you. You know, 95% of our thoughts every day, actually the same thoughts that we had yesterday, the same thought that we had yesterday, the day before.

So imagine, because most of those beliefs are really negative, they're really hurt from there's some stuff we would never tell anybody else, but we tell ourselves. So everyday you put yourself down like this, you don't really think you're somebody that can deal with whatever shows up in this lifetime, you know? So the stress is like happening inside on a constantly. And I mean, I believe that all the listeners know this far. That's like stress really shuts down our immune system. Right? Our body can deal with stress.

It it's genius. It can. It's designed to work and deal with everything. But the level of stress that we are creating with our minds, that's too much. So they have like it has to compromise something. Our immune system is being compromised. And here is the reason why autoimmune exists, where the doctors say like we don't know what is the reason, but here, take some medication and soul knows well and I want to point to also it's not just us having negative belief patterns against ourselves, but also being critical of outside of yourself.

That's just a reflection, because outside of yourself is you. And so that that was one of the things that I was really working with my dad on is he would get so, oh my gosh, politics, who he would get. So angry. And this past election, I am convinced he lost his own battle. And that's probably why he had a hemorrhagic stroke. You know, he just could. It is just like, I cannot deal with this, you know? And I said, well, you're saying the words right now, I cannot deal with this. Right? And so, you know, he he made his own choices about how he want to deal with that.

But, I mean, I would just say, if you find yourself critical of any group of people, of any political thing, of the world, of God, of life, of anything, then turn it off. You know, I would always say, just turn it off, put the magazine away. My parents don't have a TV, so it's not like they could literally use a remote and turn off the news, but like, put down your reader, put down the magazine, put down the book that's talking about this. And is that really making you happy? This whole engagement that you're having with it, you know, and is it changing anything in the world?

It is not. But it is changing your body, you know. And when this all happened, my mom, she just kind of said you were right, you know, you were saying, this is going to happen. If it does, if you cannot get underneath that. And it was just so angry and he'd gone through this really beautiful period of time where it was he was peaceful, no chemo, super healthy. And then this happened. Right? So it is kind of fascinating if you can observe that in yourself and notice, like where am I critical, my critical of me and my critical of something else, and that bitterness and that resentment and that rumination on the same thoughts over and over again, I've heard the statistic 94%.

And so I'll say somewhere in there there's 6% of new thought. And of that 6%, those are not always gems either. So you want to be still long enough to search through the 6% and find what you really want to focus on and create it right? Yeah. I mean, here is the thing we interpret everything. We give some meanings to whatever it is that is real outside of us, right? That's always what we do. We don't really experience reality. We see reality. Something happens. There are facts outside, but we give it some meaning.

And this is what exists in our personal reality. And these kind of situations, like you said, for, for me, the work I do at least and believe in this is a sign this is for me, showing me this is where work gets to be done. If there is anger, if something is pissing me off, if I have any certain emotions showing up, it show me that something is still not resolve. There. And and and that's where you get to. Yes. You want to make sure this doesn't exist it in your life. If it triggers something in the psyche, puts you in stress or in it affects you in a negative way.

But when you do the work and you want to start solving and learning about yourself because it's all about learning, like, who am I really underneath this? This is where the work, the work is. I believe that love is healing. I believe that authenticity. When we come back to our authentic self, who you were when you were born, you know, I love an creature that trusts everybody and loves everybody. And there's like nobody's me. Nobody's here to hurt you. You know, this is where our healing is, you know?

That's that's why I'll say I said at the beginning, it stands for authenticity, love, freedom in abundance. Because all of this is there available for us when we connect to that part of us. And this is where you will find your healing when you find a way to access that. So everything in your life, everything that happen, everything that triggers you, shows you, hey, this is actually where you get to stop looking and heal and life. And it's also if it's making you angry, it's some part of you that you've actually disowned about you.

You know, I used to say that to my dad when he'd get red faced. I say, you actually kind of look like the guy you're angry about right now. You go. And I get even more angry right now. I will go, whoa. Okay. You know, so that's a really important thing to remember is whatever we're angry about, we're actually becoming that which angers us. So that's a beautiful piece of that is everything is a mirror. Everything is a mirror, including your disease process. Right? It's a mirror just reflecting back something that needs attention though.

And it needs love from you. And that's always going to be the answer, always going to be the answer. Right? Anything that's seeking the toddler, that's pulling on your pants and saying, my mom, my mom, mom, they're wanting love your body that's pulling on your pant leg and going, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. They want love, right? The whole thing is all about that. So jumping back into that and really loving yourself fully, that'll take care of it. That's so beautiful. Yeah, absolutely. I feel like all the answers are right there.

It's not that easy to do sometimes. We didn't treat ourself most of our life this way, but like we can all start now. We can all start now with every single new thought. So where where can people I'm sure you probably have a, exercise. People could start right this minute. Yes. It can sound a little bit general, but for me, this is number one for anybody who really chooses to make the change from within. And that's something surfacing that will, you know, go away as soon as it comes in.

Practical Self-Inquiry and Healing Through Compassion 35:48

I think the answers are in the questions. So starting and being curious like now is where you're going to find the growth and the healing. So for example, if you're noticing it's actually connecting perfectly to what you just said, if you're noticing that, you're upset, you're sad, you're hurt from something that somebody said to you. You don't have a resolve that you wanted to get in something. Work, school, whatever it is, stop. Every time you recognize a negative, it's sort of a negative feeling.

Stop and ask yourself, why not? Why? From a place of blaming, this is really important. Why from a place of what is the source? And the more you ask and the more authentic, you need to be really real with yourself, because your ego going to show up and be like, you know, playing its part and trying to pull you away from the truth because it loves for you to stay small and not grow. It's their fault. It's not yours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So from a place of responsibility, try to understand what really is underneath all of that that created this outcome.

And if you go deep enough, you'll understand there is some belief that you probably most of your life for that is an absolute. But it's not. It's a belief you created because something that happened in your life. And if you find this belief, you'll start understanding what you get to work on. Because all the beauty in this work, and the most challenging part at times, is actually the awareness. Once you are aware of your patterns and their source and I'm spending all of it is a lie you've been telling yourself unconsciously your whole life.

You know when it shows up how to make a different choice. Choice is easy to make when you see the picture, but unless you have awareness in a moment, you don't even have the ability to choose differently. And then when you start breaking the patterns that you actually created in your life because of your past beliefs and those painful things you've been telling and thinking, this is what you need to break. Once you start breaking these, you basically start creating the person that you choose to be you want to be not that you thought you were born to be.

So ask yourself the questions. Understand the source, and then make a new choice. I have an example of this. Last night we were sitting at my mom's. I have one brother and we'd been working as a team, getting everything's just really figured out and done and had come together. I hadn't seen him for a couple days because I came back home and started going to work. And so last night we went over and had dinner, and my brother just had this weird energy about him, and he was really tight in his energy.

And I said, what's happening for you? You know, are you okay? And he said, and he just kind of exploded, I don't trust you, you know? And I went, oh. And so, you know, I in my old pattern, my little kid part would have run away. And just like, you know, because this was an unpredictable behavior. And so instead, you know, asking questions like, oh, why didn't you feel safe right now? Like to this little kid, this is your brother. He's having a moment. It's okay. I've got you. You don't need to be out here.

I've got it. 56 year olds here, not four year old. Right. And so just really acknowledging her first and her feelings and giving her some empathy. And yeah, this is hard to to manage. This is unpredictable. It's okay I'm here okay. You don't have to manage it. And then just turning to my brother and saying what's happening for you. Like what's going on, you know, and and he just sort of went through this thing and, and, it was based on a 16 year old version of me, which was 30 years ago. And so he had this, you know, this thing that was going on for him that was 16 or 30 years old.

And so if I could talk to my little kid self and be okay, I asked him to do the same thing. Right? And so over a period of time in this conversation, you know, he got it. I'm being completely irrational. This is about me. This isn't about you. I probably need to go to therapy and really work with this little, this little kid part of me that was our outcome, which was beautiful. Instead of a bunch of drama. Right? Instead of a fracture in the relationship. And so because there's nothing like, like death in a family for drama stuff to start happening. Right.

And so being able to do that where you can acknowledge, like, why am I reacting the way I'm reacting, not this person's being an asshole. Therefore I have a right to act how I'm acting. That's the question right there. Right? Why am I having the response? I'm having? It's nothing to do with them. And so that right there is freedom. Exactly. And something that's really important, whether you do it alone or you have somebody that's like coaching, you're directing, you're mentoring, you have compassion.

And the fact that you today choose yourself, that's a win. That's a huge win. And yes, there going to be pain dealing with past pain, but allow everything to come up and just love yourself. Everything is going to be found there already, right? And even if it's not, you're going to be okay. As long as you continue to love the process and have compassion for it, you know? And at the end when I left, I said, you know, I don't even care about any material objects. You know, I care about you. Our relationship is the most important.

And that was that was for him to be able to hear that, because the 16 year old version of me would have never said that to him, you know? So. So then he could start to love himself and not feel shame for his responses. So the more that you can kind of stay present to the why, that's all he he's saying. That's really the key question why am I responding the way I'm responding? Who is it? How old is she? What's happening in there? Yeah. And specifically for autoimmunity, I think the people that are dealing with that and want to reverse that, I think that's a powerful tool because it connects.

Yeah. And this is going to happen also without like it's the those conversations that happen underneath our awareness. You're giving yourself a lot of power. You're basically telling yourself I can deal with that which can create a feeling of I can also heal my body. I can also be in charge and take responsibility of my genes, all my genetics. So the way my body acts, which I know that a lot of people lose it, like I'm not in charge of anything anymore. And it makes you feel very like powerless.

And if I can stay present with pain that's emotional, then I can stay present with physical pain and I can listen to it. Then it can shift, you know. But if I leave the building the second I have physical pain and feel despair and go down into an emotional abyss, my physical pain is going to get much worse. So these are tied in hospice work. This was really profoundly apparent. The more emotional pain someone had, the more pain medication it took for their physical pain to be alleviated. I mean, these are so connected.

Emotional pain is the number one cause of physical pain. So yeah, our mind and body are just it's one unit. We just lie in it. We don't learn it as as the truth. And then it takes time sometimes for people to just to believe in that. But the more the faster you see the results and change in your body. I so appreciate you taking time. Thank you so much. And for those of you that are coaches, one of the things I have not read into Leah's bio is that she has a group called Namaste Bitches. Which I absolutely love the naming of that.

And you can find her at the links that we're putting here with her talks. So, Alpha vitality.com and her Facebook is also Alpha Bites. Leah, thank you so much for taking the time today to Leah and sharing your wisdom with everyone. Absolutely. I really enjoyed it. Thank you for what you do. I I'm so grateful that work like this is being done in our world. Thank you. All right everybody, until next time, be well.