Meet Leslie: To begin, BEGIN…you won’t regret it

Introduction to Leslie 0:00

Yeah, I just got it too. All right, good. So we're here. We're hear again. And tonight we have Leslie. Leslie, you will love Leslie's energy. Do you see what I mean? How could you not watch this? So I wanted you all to meet Leslie. I've introduced you to some of my favorite people. This is another one of most favorite that I love, yes. And I want you get to know her a little bit and I you want to hear her story and how far she's come and hopefully this will help you along your journey. So thank you for being here Leslie and taking this time and spending a few minutes with us and tell us a bit about yourself.

Well, thank you for having me. And I have to say that I always say, and I say it all the time to you, I am the Mikey, the life cereal Mikey of holistic. When I tell you kicking and screaming, you are looking at the poster child. But when I, um, was on Jesus, II was, on blood pressure medicine, cholesterol medicine. I was on medicine for my stomach, and I would go on and off boost bar for anxiety and stuff like that I wasn't feeling good at all. So the first thing I did I had joined. And I still belong to this ploddy studio and I started to do it.

And one of the, the people that was there. One of them women was talking to my daughter, and she was saying how she, you know goes to these holistic practitioner how she had breast cancer and she just felt like she needed to get everything out. And I was like, oh my God, that's me, you know, because I couldn't even, when you go down to the beach, I put my chair down,

Hitting Rock Bottom and Seeking Help 2:09

to walk down the water and then even go on a walk. I could not handle it. So, I was stressed. I also was having a good time, but eating bad stuff, stuff like that. But when she said those words, I just feel like I needed to get stuff out. She's talking to my daughter, and I'm like, what, me? I want to know, where'd you go? Give me that card, right? And then I came to see you and and the first time you know I gotta admit like I was that person that was like yeah right you now she's like tree hugger and stuff and I got to do this person no way i'm doing it.

But I wasn't checking off your your checklist where you had to say what you have. And I had so many things. And at this point, I was just like, you know what? I'm gonna give it a shot. Like I said, my first appointment, when I decided to do it, was leaving for Florida. In my head, it was like okay, take your best shot, what are you gonna do for me? And as I've been progressing in everything, And it's crazy because you get through times when you're like, Oh my God, is this really working? Well, I just told you that story that where I was like it was Christmas time, we were running around, and I missed my appointment with you.

I couldn't get back into your office fast enough. And now I want to say I'm off blood pressure, cholesterol, off the stomach medicine, don't take any anti-anxiety drugs, I can't explain how great that makes you feel, you know? I mean, I now I'm addicted to like working out and feeling good. And the biggest thing that I really, between you and everybody, there ain't no way, good, because I like my stuff. I have a good time. And, you know, it took a long time, and I was kicking and screaming the whole way.

But even now I'm like, I find myself like no, i'm not eating past this time or no i've not going to have this because I feel good. but I also mentally had to learn that I could still be fun, Leslie, have a great time, be out, but not feel so bad the next day or not let work consume me. That's the other thing. And you're running around, you feel bad, and you keep going to the doctor. They're like, here's this, Here's that, And it was just too much. Yeah. And you're still having fun, right? I'm still havin' a great time.

I still sayin' bad words. Raisin Cane, I even got my reviewer told me I have to be nice to people because when I get all mad. But I am. You know, I always laugh because they say it's a life. It's not a diet or it. Not this it a lifestyle and I was like I can't tell you how many times I'm like. If you tell me it to lifestyle change, it like, um, throwing down. So I do not tell him his words. I. Do not want to hear them, you know? It like don't be telling me. All I know is it squad. Like not only did you, you know, I'm still like now I don't want to stop.

Matter of fact, in the thing that I had to fill out for our appointment, it was like, what do you want accomplished? And I want keep feeling good. You know? I do not want this train to start because I am even more full of energy. I was doing everything. Going here and there. Still having fun. It's a lifestyle change. Now you're that person, not person. But you know what? It it's like three things. And that's another thing that that I like. It not only physical, it mental and it spiritual.

Early Resistance and Small Changes 6:34

You need all three of them. Believe me, I'm the queen of baby steps. I don't think so. Yeah, but when it all comes together, You wake up and you're like, holy crap, I feel good. I'm gonna have to tell her, yes, it's a lifestyle change. Yeah, Leslie was never forget the first time she came to my office, she says, and I'm never going to eat anything different. I love what I Love. But I think you said I don't eat vegetables. Yeah. You're like, I Don't need vegetables, you're Like, it is what it Is.

i just want to be able to keep up with my husband. He has all this energy. he loves to work out. And he's athletic. and i can't even keep Up walking with him, i Just want To be Able to walk with them and Keep up With them. That's it. that's It. You were, you were determined to not change anything, anything. You are like set in stone, like I will not. And then, and here you are, we did baby changes. I remember the first time I showed you your food logs. So that was way back when, when we used to keep paper food log, remember?

And you'd fill it out on the paper and I would circle everything. Remember? Yeah. And I remember it took like maybe, I mean, we took such small steps with you. But I remembered after a while, and I used to save them all in your file. And remember showing you, remember what you said to me and how you were never going to eat anything different. I compared the one that you just handed me to like your first ones and you're like, oh, shit, eat different things. Well, how about like I finally tried mahi-mahi.

In Florida, having a great time, I tried fish and I immediately text you i'm like oh my God I fish, because I am not a fan to fish to the point where. When I was in my childhood, my mom had it and it smelled so bad, I came down to the dining room table with an underwater mascot. And how did it end? I don't remember because I believe she got that look where you knew you were in big trouble and the rest goes blank. Yeah, you were deterrent. Every appointment, Les, we gonna try fish? You really need to eat fish.

Nope, not gonna eat a fish, and then I got that text message, yay lie. I'm like, oh my God, finally, thank you Jesus J. Fish. And just Friday, I ate Brussels sprouts. Oh my gosh. Yeah, instead, I went out with a friend. And that's the other thing. When you start feeling good, you don't want to do the bad things. I want out and we had lunch. Instead of getting the fries and all that and feeling terrible, because my friend loves Brussels sprouts, and she was like, what? Where does Leslie go yeah it was like, who are you and what have you done with her but it but.

it's like it took it did take me a while, but but the great thing is is. You know everybody's, like you look good, you know oh my God where's the other half of you. but you know what? All th that you take and everyth up and then your metabol and I remember, you kno want to be in pictures and You know, mom, because we were at a funeral and you know how they do the picture. They're like, well, when we go to yours, there's going to be not one picture of you because you won't let us take a picture and that stuck with me.

And then when I was on a lot of medication one time, my husband said to me, where's the girl that I married? You now, I still go back early. but yeah, I'll sleep in the middle of a party. I don't care, you know, sleep baby. But I was just always tired. And when you're working and at one point, You know I, was also a single mom. You're trying to keep your kids, all the balls up in there. Then you get remarry, then you try to blend a family. That's a lot of stress. Then throw in the corporate world.

I mean, it's like, why are you leaving? Why are looking at the clock? So it was like so many things were just snowballing and snowball and snow falling. And that one conversation, first I started working out again. Thanks to my friend, she's now my friends and I like her a listening to her talking to my daughter, I was like, what, you know, and then I just started and now I can't go back. That's the most important thing. It's like I still have a good time. I am still all up. You know you want to go out.

We're going out, but now it's I don't it's got to be my eight hours, you know, and if it goes past it there's nothing wrong with raising cane but have a mortar or taking that one drink which I know you're going to roll your eyes. And let it go the whole entire time you with people you don' need you, know that that young mentality where oh i've got a pound it down or i'm not. center of attention, or it's not fun, we don't have a great... Well, those things no longer define you, right? You've made a decision to choose other boundaries.

You made the decision, to chose other values, and you've built the belief system in other place, you devalued those other things, because it is like, wait a minute, I could continue the, the road I was on, but I didn't like where that was going here I can still have fun,

Feeling Better and Building Momentum 12:40

But my road is taking me in a different place and I Can have Fun without all of those things so a lot of times we're afraid to let go of them because we identify so much with them well who am I without this right. Yeah. And you've learned that I can still be me, but I could be a more amazing version of myself and show up in this way as opposed to that way. Once you get a taste of that, like you said, you don't ever want to go back. No, and it's so true. I'm in the best shape I've ever been. heck yeah i'm like bring on the year, she you know, and now you're like taking the taking picture full you in all these pictures you got the sexy outfit going posing we got plenty of pictures for your funeral now.

I went from no pictures to like. taking pictures again. it's like oh yeah right here take the picture. But, but I can express like to me it's and you say it over and I watch you know your your. Replace every day where you're like this, this is this and the biggest thing is so true, and when you said in the very beginning you are an onion. And you now you have to peel back the layers and now, you It's so true as it goes away, even though you're pulling like all those layers, you are finding the true root to what was making you feel bad.

And it's like, I get a lot of headaches and I'll be right away to you. I will be like what do we do? And you'll like Leslie, what's going on? What time in the year? Let's go this way. Then I'm like okay, yeah. But it feels great. It doesn't feel like you're constantly taking medicine. And I even at one point went to a neurologist. I'm not saying people shouldn't go where they got to go, but I went into neurologists and he told me, when I told him the amount of aspirin and Tylenol and everything that I was taking, he said, oh my God, do you realize that you can actually build a tolerance that will give you the headache from taking that?

And it's like, you know, like I said it just feeling great inside like your onion, as you peel back the layers. It's, it kind of blossoms everything just falls into place. And, and it it, something that I kicked in screen. I gave you a hard time. But it's great. And now I'm like 56. I just saw on my little app that my recovery is that of somebody in their 30s. That's right. Right here. And you know and it's funny and that's kind of almost what you do you, know, and its like it just it a feeling that I will forever, thank you and I don't want to get off the roller coaster it so fun ride.

Yeah, but you decided to put in that work, right? You decided keep investing in yourself, even when it got hard and it get a little challenging sometimes. Even if you just made a small change, you still kept going and that led you here. Because sometimes that, you know, in the beginning, that can be a little overwhelming for people. Well, how do they get, they look at, sometimes people will automatically assume when they first see me or start talking to me that I've got to be exactly what she is now.

And how am I going to get from where I am to there? Well, I didn't get here, you know, overnight, You didn' know this isn't something that you just turn a switch on, like Dave said a couple weeks ago, it's not a swtich you turn on and then that's it. You're healthy and it' all grand. of how you start to see the difference, you started to realize the value. You start saying, hey, maybe this stuff does matter. Maybe it does all add up. And once you realize that, then you're like, all right, well, what's the next thing I can work on?

What's next? And you make all these little changes, like you were saying. Now, Leslie is a Zumba instructor. I have to tell Leslie, that you are doing too much. Like you need more recovery time. I can't keep up with him walking to now I have to tell her to sit down. Yeah. And you know, even that like the courage to go. I was 56 I went to Rowan to to all by myself to take that training and you It was, it was big. You know, at first I was like, Oh, you know what, if I'm the old lady in the group. And then when I got there, I Was like oh yeah, i'm like iIm doing it.

But, but it's like but there are things like over your life like you said that you just don't like if you told me back when i met you that i'd be down the path i'M on. I would tell you, you're insane. You know, I'd be like, it ain't happening. Like, let's get real here. But it does. And it takes, little times. and like I said, the big light bulb for me with you was that one time when I ran out of everything. Cause I was like it's no big deal, catch up. Then it was oh my God, feel horrible. I literally was counting down the days.

I got to get to her office. I'm like, you know, I mean, it was just and that that thing that one time in the very beginning made me think, okay, i'm on the right path. Then, like I said I made it I met a great group of girls I go there I work out I discovered Zumba. And then everything and the place that you go is in Glassboro. It's called Just B, right? Yeah. Bernadette is the owner and she's amazing. So if you guys live in that area, anybody that might be watching, she has a great studio. She has reformer.

she does TRX, B Bounder, which is like, you know, if You've heard of like a rebounder type exercise, Right, Les, what else does she do? What does She have? So TRx, yoga, Um, all that stuff. And then, and then I also do the Zumba, you know, And I just, I loved it. and, You know I, if you asked me, mean I would never think I'd be this spot and everything with even the corporate world, it's, It's rough, its hard, Its a hard 10 hours, your behind your desk. Its getting like so many things coming at you.

but it's taking that little bit of time. And that's another thing with my food, I used to use food as an okay to stop working.

Lifestyle Shifts and New Habits 19:48

Like, well, and then I got to realize, no, you know, this isn't helping me. It isn' making my belt go faster. So I'm going to get up, walk away, take a break. I am allowed to do this. You know, and I, no matter where I go I always have my pill like my one daughter teases me on my little pill thing yeah and she's like I feel she was like do you take that everywhere and i'm like yeah i'd like, I don't want to miss it. So what Leslie's referring to just to jump in there and clarify a little bit so Leslie had.

We do, we meet once a month and we just customize a protocol for her based on her needs and what her body is working through at the time. So it's kind of like a personalized multivitamin, right? Instead of just picking and grabbing stuff off the shelf, well, maybe this will work, or maybe that'll work. We meet a once month now, and were in the maintenance phase for here. And we customize her multavitamins each month, so when she talks about her pill case, that's what she's referring to there. Yeah, yeah, and it's like, it is my friend.

And the other thing that I have to say with the, like going the food way, is you kept saying to me, I am a carb junkie. You were like Leslie, you're grabbing fillers. Grabbing fillings. Have to eat more protein. Then I would be like I can't. I'm working on my dose. Can't run down. You just put it on a frying pan and heat it up, and then you can have that. And now I have like, I even say to this one girl at work, she laughs at me. I'll come back and I'd be like the best lunch. She'll be, like what did you do?

I'm like I had cauliflower thins with a turkey burger with lettuce, tomato. Then I've had my little cauliflower Spanish rice. Then I have I love my frickin berries and my berries with my little bit of coconut whipped cream on it and she's like oh my god that makes me hungry and i'm like yeah i don't like I am feeling good. yeah and you know you got the little mini crock pot right didn't you yeah I got that um actually my mom's friend where she was had gotten an insta pot and then she gave me and one day and this is no lie I came tearing down from my computer I was like shit through in chicken threw in like um anything and everything vegetable I can with stock turned it on, ran back upstairs, proceeded to finish out my day, came down, and my dinner was made.

So I was like, damn that, Jen. She was right again. I can do this. Right again, because you were always like take a cookie sheet, Leslie, throw this on. Throw this, put this in, stick it in there. And I'm like I don't have time. What I finally realized is yes, I do have Well, you have time for exactly what you want to have. Time for. Right. Yes. Which I just read in her book about time. Yeah. And what did you read? Share it with us. I am reading this. Can you see? Yes, You are a badass. It's like you're a bad ass and it's how to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life.

And I just before this was reading about time and I'm like, ah, it's so true. And that's another thing. I am also the biggest, like do not give me a self-help book. Like don't take me down that aisle. Am I gonna read it? Don't give it to me, I don' want to hear it. So far in our book club, we've done two books that I love, that am saying to people that highlight. I never highlighted, I did Cliff Notes in high school. I didn't read the book. And now she's reading the books. She's highlighting it and she is quoting it back to me.

Look at that. My favorite is it doesn't make my boat go faster. Doesn't it make me boat faster? And I love that because does it? Like I wanna have a great time. I want to do this and that. Or if somebody's pulling at me, I'm like, no, it's not gonna make boat goes faster, It's gonna me sicker, gonna feel like crap. No, so I am not doing it. And that's hard. That's really hard because I also people pleaser. Yeah, but I'm learning, I've been learning you have to put yourself and that's the biggest thing I hear from my friends, you know, oh, i don't have time with the kids.

I got it. i was running all over for dance running, all, over, for cheerleading, You know it's like, But you, have you haven't got to make those choices. And there are certain things and I like i've, been a kid about my hair with my hairdresser I say. a bomb could go off and I'd be there for my hair appointment. The world could be ending and i'm like, sorry, I got a hair point. But that's how it's gotten with you. You have to make those choices. And they're hard. They don't come fast. Let me tell you something.

I can vouch that I was in Mikey and kicked and screamed. Then I'm, like you try it first. Yeah, but it has it's made a world of difference. Yeah. And I thank you. Oh, well, I Thank you for all you've shared with me. You make me laugh so much. It's like I told Leslie, i want to be in the in her nursing home if we have My hair all big with But you made a good point, though, with your hair and that kind of thing. You've learned the value, right? So you've allowed the values, you have made the decision, and you allowed values to shift and to change.

And you see that you show up in a better way. That you can be more productive, more fruitful, that can more of a compliment in your relationship. if you care for yourself first, right? When you're coming from that place where you've made those healthier decisions and those healthier choices, that allows you to show up in a better way, in more productive way. And think of all of the time that you were spending before spinning your wheels, emotionally, mentally, and physically. So now you take that energy and you can shift it over here.

Now you come from a place of power. as opposed to a place of just being miserable, rig I was on, I had the docto Oh my God, I can't believe I'm going to write this script out for you because

Mindset, Boundaries, and Self-Care 26:48

the amount for this blood pressure pill. I always knew I'd have to read it and I figured he'd be a six foot three hundred pound man. And I never thought it'd. Be this little thing sitting on my, you know, my table that that's who I've given it to. But I was. Just, I can't tell you, so stressed, overwhelmed. And then I just, it spiraled. It was like a spiral. Your job didn't change, your relationship didn' changed, you decided to change. Yes, and that's huge. And I know some people are like, you have a right area, because I was one of them.

But it is, it's about me, putting me making sure I see you making, sure, I do everything making. Sure, do all these different aspects. For me, and now I'm still over 20 years at the same job. You know what I mean? So that hasn't changed. I've been with my husband for over 17 years. That hasn' changed, we still have the girls, the kids, they're all Still here. Well, if only this would change. If only that would changed, then I would be okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know, provide the space for us to learn what we're here to learning.

Sometimes that lesson is that we need to value ourselves and care for ourselves in a different way. Exactly. And it's the truth. It's like thanks to that and Again, your onion. I love the onion because you know me with my analogies. And that's what it is. It's an onion and that that the hardest part is getting through your head. Its an Onion and like we even talked on Friday up where I was like, how come now when I do do something out of out my regimen, I'm so sick and you're like because before you had so many things.

Now that we were coming down that path, just one little thing is such a big change in me that I feel it and it's the truth. You just have to keep working at it. And then all of a sudden it is like, the little light bulb goes on. Well, before you just, you know, feel bad all the time, right? So you don't know the difference. Now you felt good for so long and then you kind of, not backslide, but you'll be like, all right, well, I'll compromise here, right? And you make that little compromise and you feel the impact so much greater because it's amplified.

Now, you can see it for all that it truly is. It's not disguised under 30,000 other feeling horrible things, now you really see in all of its glory. Exactly. Yeah, so it's very eye opening. And now it You, when I have encountered things, you know, I'm like, oh my God, it is so not worth it. Like, It is not worthy. I don't need, like I said to you, that little kid, i'm touching that, touching the socket. i finally stick my finger in it and I am like holy crap it's really bad. Why was I doing that?

Why did I ever do that. It was so Right and and that helps and then that, helps with the mind and, then you go, and you start with, the books and. Before you know it you're just a reading full. your rock star. You are, you're out on that Zumba floor and you are the last one out there and they have to tell you, return the lights out Leslie, gotta go home. Oh my lord, I do. I'm out and I am shaking so hard. So if you knew that somebody was watching and they're realizing, OK, I'm at a place where maybe I want to start making different decisions and different choices, what would be one piece of advice you would give them?

They're scared. They are overwhelmed. they are not sure if this is right for them. What would you say? Baby steps. Baby steps, start with baby steps. The fact that you realize it just like that day with that conversation, I was like, i feel like crap. I didn't know how or what way i was going to do it. i just liked what i heard. So i made that first step and just keep going. Don't give up. II always say to some of my friends are like. How can you like exercise all the time? I'm like, well, if you, okay, you don't have a great day, but it's better than sitting on the couch eating chips.

So it is like don t bite off more than you can chew. Take it into little clusters. There you go. Break it down. Make that first step for you, you know make that step, because no you're not all those all there's fads every fad that like if you do this you'll lose weight or if we do that she'll feel better, I have done. anything and everything on the market. And the only thing that works is just sucking it up and doing the work. Then the world becomes fun and then you become fun. I always like to say it's like a cloud lifting from your head.

All of a sudden you're like, wow, this isn't bad. This is hard after all. So my advice is baby steps, make that first step, and stick with it. Because it's worth it, it worth every penny. If not, you're sick, miserable, sabotaging your life, your relationship, kids, everything. Yeah, if you'd have kept going down that other path, you know, what position would that have put you in for your grandkids, your future grand kids that are coming? You know? Yeah. Now you're going to be teaching your feature grandkid Zumba now, instead of being sitting there, oh, sorry, Grammy, can't get up.

I'll have them with a little hat on backwards, Zumbazumba, zumba. It'll be a year old. Their first pair of shoes will be zumbas. But I mean, it doesn't. And the other thing is, right now, you feel your age because that's what you're doing. Yeah. You know what I? Mean, your given excuses. Your saying, I can't, You're saying. Oh, but I'm this age. That's the. Other thing that really resonated. In one of your things, don't say your weight gain is from Metapops. You're like, yeah, these hormones kick in, but you can reverse stuff.

You can, if you take care of, you peel back the onion, take of your organs, If you care what you fuel.

Advice for Starting Small 34:18

We have so much more power than we were led to believe we have, right? Exactly. And we're always taught to sacrifice for everybody. Well,if you put yourself first, then you really can help them. Yeah. And you never, and you can help them without ever having to sacrifice. So, you know, there's that option too. That's not the, the only option is not just helping someone and we have to to do it. There's another option guys. It doesn't have that way. You can do both. Yeah, And that's the hardest thing for people to understand.

you don't, You don' have be that martyr. Take control of your life and do that journey. And the help that you have now, you're able to show up so much better for other people, right? Compared to the situation you were in before, and especially if that would have continued, You would've been in a completely different place to showed up for your mom, for example, now. Yes. Whatever else that means for the future, Right? Very much so. It's huge. And the other thing is all those fads of take a pill, and you'll lose this and no, they don't work, you have to do the work.

You have take care of yourself three ways. You have to do it physically, mentally, and spiritual. And once you do that, then yes, you show up for so many people. It's no big deal to go here and there. You know, sometimes I feel like, oh, I'm totally rocking this. Do you know what I mean? It like I'll pick up this, my husband was ripping off wallpaper. He's like be careful lifting this and I was like ugh, show, lift it. Oh my gosh, nobody can stop her now. We've created a monster. Yes, you did. Well, I am so glad that you shared that and hopefully this helps someone else that might be trying to make those decisions maybe for the first time and maybe it's scary.

So like Leslie said, you know, just start somewhere, start with where you're at, get somebody to help you along the way to see what those baby steps are and to continue to encourage you to keep moving in that right direction. And you just keep building and building, and And, you know, one thing that I've experienced and Leslie's just talked about, how you get to a certain place that you thought was impossible, right? You're like, if I could just get here, like in your situation, it was your blood pressure medicine that was really motivating you.

You were like if could get just here then I would be happy. And then you got there and you realized, hey, I crushed this. I can do another step and then I do a step, and I keep going and do more. Every time you think you achieved something that couldn't have been done, you knock it out of the park again and you have another achievement and like you said, just want to keep on going. You're excited to see how much further you can go. It becomes easy, it becomes fun. Leslie is not at a loss for fun, she is suffering folks.

She did not compromise on that. So we get to decide. We get choose what it is, right? Yeah. It's exactly like you said. I mean, we to choose. You don't think you're scared. Go for it. Because what do you have to lose? Still feel like crap? Not be able to take care of your family? Get another prescription? and then be sleeping in a chair just when you're supposed to be talking because you feel like crap. That's what you have to lose. When you think about it, it's like, oh my God, that, you know, I got to go this way.

Cause even if I do a little bit, i'm still not here. And that's so you can lose. So what you have to lose is feeling like crap and not being there for your loved ones and having a great life and defying the age. Not doing your first 5k. Oh my god. I hate to run and I did it. I was there, I'm like walking and all of a sudden I saw this like older person go past me, another one. Cause you went in with the intention of just walking as much as you could, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's what I really went into it.

Like I was just going to walk the 5k and I just like, Oh hell no. I'm like these people are passing me. Never done a 5K in my life. Walked the mile in high school, you know, and then when I run in, look at me, I am running. Somebody get a picture, I'm running. It's like, holy crap, it's, like I gotta remember this. I have to tell somebody. And that's the other thing I told you. Oh my God, took a snapshot because I came, granted at the end of my age, but of real runners, wasn't the last. Yeah. You know, look at that.

So that is the only thing you have lose by not making that step. And you just, you have to, You'll lose feeling like crap. You lose being sad. you'll loose not getting in the pictures that your kids want to show. That's what you lose. What you gain is a whole other world. Yeah, and it's not just the pictures of those moments, too. It's the quality of these moments. The happiness that you feel during those times and the way that your able to appreciate them during these times is completely different now from the place that we are at now.

compared to then, right? So, you know, just not wanting to take a picture is just one piece of the puzzle. It's just part of how you were feeling at the time. But it really represents something so much bigger, Right? Yeah, it's huge. And that's what you find out. Again, don't get overwhelmed. Take it a little bit at a time and as you take it, a bit out of time, You'll feel better and better, and then you'll realize it's not the picture. It's the fact that you weren't there. You were there physically, but you were in the moment.

You weren't there. All of you did not show up. No. In the way that you could, you didn't show in that way you are meant to show, up you know, fully and express all that are. And that's something that not only do we rob ourselves of, we robbed our family members of too and the people that we love and care about. And that's the one regret I have. The one regrets I had is I wish I knew about all this sooner. Because I think life would be, I mean life is great now, but I just think, like I wished I'd had this a long time.

Now it's like, you know, open yourself up because we do have it. And, and that how you're gonna survive. That's how your gonna have a great life. I'd tell you age in reverse. Leslie's gonna write a book. And I'm like taking back the 80s. I am doing a hair big and everything. She is too. All right, my friend. Well, thank you so much for coming and spending this time with us and sharing your story. Please guys comment. Let us know if you watched and if this meant anything to you. And if it's helped you in some way, let us now we would love to hear from you too.

So thank my friends and I will see you're welcome. I'll see a leader. Bye bye.