Midlife Courage: Living Your Best Life After 50

Introduction to Autoimmune Detox and Unique Health Puzzles 0:00

Welcome back to the reverse Autoimmune Disease Summit series everybody. I'm Doctor Chiesa. And of course this is the fourth iteration of the reverse Autoimmune Disease Summit series. We're talking about the autoimmune detox. And we're referring back once again to the fact that you are unique and you have your own unique puzzle. And there are four corners to every puzzle. When we're solving it. You have your own unique genetics, you have your own unique gut health, you have your own unique past stress and trauma, and how you're managing those today.

And then you also have your own unique toxic burden. And one of the things that I always talk about is the fact that toxic burden isn't necessarily BPA and glyphosate, it's also the stuff that's here. And so we're going to talk a little bit about that today. I have a lovely friend that is going to be sharing midlife courage. So this is Sherry Clarke. She's a midlife. I just said Sherry and me reminded me Sherry, this is Sherry Clarke. She is not Sherry. Sherry, we're just laughing about this. Sherry Clark is a midlife courage coach, TV show host, inspiring speaker, and accomplished author.

She's written and presented on topics ranging from finding your passion to overcoming career burnout. Her fork in the road coaching practice keeps her busy working with clients one on one and in groups on creating an authentically fulfilling life and her personal time. Sherry and her cat Lotus work on their yoga poses, and we're going to have her contact information here. So welcome to the series, Sherry. Thank thank you, Doctor Cuca Kuka Evers. Yeah, that's right. Hey, it's nothing to catch you, Evers.

Yeah, I have a million different variations. My deepest apologies. And it's so funny because we were talking about it and I said, oh, I can see where you start reading the bio that you would do that. And sure enough, I did it, I love it, I love that we just laughed about it and didn't just try to cover it up and do it. No, no, I'm all about the laughing, the humor and all of the things you know, it's just it's it's a way to get healthy. So, you know, speaking of healthy, we talked about detoxing old beliefs as your talk title so that you can live the second half of your life for you and one of the things that I notice and people with autoimmune disease, women are diagnosed with 80%, a lot of immunity.

So 80% of the autoimmune diseases in the world are in women. That being said, I have noticed a pattern in women with autoimmune and I call it the the 3 or 4 P's, depending on who I'm talking to. But the three P's are people pleasing, perfectionism,

Midlife Courage and the Cost of People-Pleasing 2:50

and holding on to the poison of past pain. And then in your Vedic medicine, they always say it's pitta people, the people with a lot of fire that wind up with autoimmunity for the most part. So with all that being said, then you know, people pleasing and perfectionism, these are all beliefs that make it so. It's really difficult to live the second half of your life for you, isn't it? Oh, that and all of those P's. Every last one of them absolutely makes it difficult. They're imperative impediments. There's a P in there, too.

There's another piece of impediments to them. Passionate. You? Yes. Please. Please. Yeah. And so, you know, when when midlife comes along, a lot of times, you know, this, this old term midlife crisis, you know, has been stamped into our cultural mindset. And if somebody is behaving against the grain, then they must be having a midlife crisis. So let's talk about midlife courage and what midlife courage coaching actually means. Well, you know, I, I got to self-proclaimed my title and I call myself a midlife courage coach because I believe it takes guts to live the second half of your life for you when you've lived the first half for everybody else, which really dials into what you were talking about in terms of most people pleasing the past, just bringing all of that step forward.

And so when I talk about that, I also often talk about the roles that we've had as women. And if you think about it for just one second, if you took a quick inventory of all of the roles that we fulfill, first of all, let's start with one that every single one, regardless of your gender or where you live or your nationality or any of it. We are all offspring because we've all had parents, right? So offspring is a role, and that might be it's up for some of us, your offspring on many levels. You might have adoptive parents if you were an adopted child and birth parents.

And then you've got maybe you've got fought, you had foster parents or step parents or whatever. And then so all of a sudden, if you do that and multiply it into every single role that you have, sometimes as a spouse or as a parent or as a an employer employee, a friend, a volunteer, all of those things, and all of a sudden you start thinking, Holy cow, I can see where all of those things were put on me. And if every one of them has a people pleasing component, then holy cow, know no matter we're exhausted, burnt out and autoimmune.

Right? And so what is your methodology then as you're working with people? Because midlife I always think about menopause and women and anthropos for men. And you know, menopause means it's time to take a pause. It's time to really stop. And I found myself on the top of a mountain in Colorado at the Lakota Sioux, doing a vision quest for my menopause. And I wasn't intentional. I remember sitting up there, it's four days. Three nights, with no water, no food, and you're just in that space with asking for a vision for the next step of whatever you're up to.

And I remember thinking, oh, I'm actually in the middle of menopause. I self-selected to take some time away from everything. Right? And really sit with this. What is it that I want the last part of my life to look like? What intentional doorways do I want to open and walk through that aren't just reactions to the flow of life that I've generated up until this point? So how do I want to be really, really, really intentional about the last years that I will be on this planet and that a lot of people don't think to do that?

Yeah. And you don't have to go up on the top of the mountain and go and fast, by the way, right to do this. You do not have to do that. No, no. Yeah. So so I have a couple different ways that I look at it. But let's talk in kind of in terms of generalities because I think people are really more interested in like, yeah, how do you even get your head around something like that? Where do you even start? And so one of the starting places for me, I indicated, like the roles taking up, taking an inventory of where you're at.

So in my work, just like yours, the first step has got to be diagnostic. I could be great at solving a problem, but if the problem solving isn't the one you have, I haven't done you any favors. So, you know, making sure that what that what we think is the issue, the problem really is that. And so taking an inventory of where, where is the itch before we scratch anywhere, let's find out where the itches. So what roles aren't working. Are there roles that you can be releasing and letting go of or or shifting, pausing, whatever those things are?

That's one early plays, another early place is we talked about the past as though it's a pariah. There's a lot of P's in this conversation. It's a good thing we've got might pop filters or we'd be all over the place. But the the past isn't a pariah. The past can also be informative. And so looking at the past with a healthy viewpoint. So one of the things that I really love to do is regret work. Now I'm sure everybody listening is going, oh dear God, no, I'm never going to work with her. I don't want to look at anything.

If I regret it, I'm just going to close my eyes and say, yeah, that's terrible. But the thing is that our regrets, when we can look at them from the vantage point of our wise selves, now have a lot of takeaways for us. Notice I didn't say necessarily lessons, because that's one of those punitive words that we go, oh, it's so like spinach. When you're did you learn your lesson from that young lady? Yeah, exactly. Once that crap.

Regret Work, Wisdom, and Updating the Past 8:40

No, it's what's my take away from my regrets. And I have a methodology that I do with people to help them get to that point. That's not painful. That's not dredging. Dredging up every past horrible thing. Misdeed. But it's a way of looking at it, because what I like to do is categorize them. We are creatures of habit. And so what? How we often do one thing is how we do many things. So you if your regret stems from a particular behavior, a belief, a pattern, then finding a clump of those and say, and being able to say, I can't un ring that bell, but I can stop it from ringing it again in the same way.

So that's just two kind of early ways of looking at it. It's really taking a look at where am I before I run off and solve a problem. Let's make sure I got the right problem. I would love to speak to regret for a second. So just like you said, it's it's not opening up Pandora's box to pull another piece through. It's it's actually in Tibetan Buddhism, which I'm right now, I'm doing a master's in divinity and in Tibetan Buddhism. And so it's up for me. But they use regret as a really informative piece of information like you're doing it.

What they say is, if you do not have regret, you are more likely to repeat the problem and injure again. And so, you know, they they think about holding regret as something that is to be evaluated every night before you go to bed, you know, so that you're making sure that you're not going to repeat that pattern going forward. You get to have it eliminated and see it and say, oh yeah, that was that hurt me or somebody else. And I regret that. And so therefore I want to shift my behavior, my thought process that went underneath it so that I can change the karma of the future.

Yes, I love that. Yeah. The an especially doing it on a day to day. So you're stopping it from accumulating. It's like a regret detox. Yeah. What you just described as the regrets are coming in. The other cool thing about that is when you look and find those patterns and start to identify those, is that you can say, I think I understand where this came from, and I think I understand how to short circuit it for the next time and then release it. It's over. It's the past. Like you're just adding insult to injury if you drag it forward.

And then the final thing I want to say about that, and maybe it's not final, maybe you got something else to add but have something else to add. So I was I final? That's great. We. Got that. You know regret is it's got so much to teach us. And when we are of a certain place and we're looking back on it many times, it's from the vantage point of wisdom where we might say, you know, I regret that marriage, but without that union, I wouldn't have had this child. Or I regret this, but not for the reasons that I thought that I did when I was younger.

It's for something different. So sometimes looking back allows us to update the files. It's like, you know, it's like the it's like a system upgrade. You can go you know what I thought I regret that, but maybe, maybe not. Yeah. That's beautiful there there's, you know, this thing that I do where I'll say, okay, I was just talking to doctor, Kira Barr, who's a dermatologist on one of our interviews. Right. We were talking about how the skin shows the map of, you know, where problems of detoxification are happening, whether it's physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual.

And, you know, I was saying, oh, I wish I could go back to my 16 year old version of myself and say, stop smearing yourself with baby oil and putting aluminum foil near your face, you know, and frying yourself in the same thing is true. Where when you find a point of regret to be able to go back to like, I'm coming from a 56 year old version now to go back to my 30 year old version or my 40 year old version and say, oh sweetie, you are operating with the skill level you had in that moment and forgiving that part of you, that version that you're looking back with regret and saying, I should have done that differently.

But you're coming from the wisdom eyes of today that you didn't have back then, right? I think that's so important. And there's another thing that bogs us down that I think keeps us looking at regret, and I call it the tyranny of positive thinking. I just kind of think, like with the laws of manifestation and, you know, all of the things that that are being touted right now that those are important and, and you get to have your feelings and looking for regret is helpful instead of, I call it spiritual bypass, where you go over the abscess and you build a school on top of that toxic waste.

You know it's going to come up and is going to actually be toxic in whatever part of your life that you're trying to bypass, whatever that was. So it's I think it's important to go and find those places. Like you said, I'm so glad that you go and you excavate, you know, because you want to make sure that what you're building on is good, solid land that doesn't have a bunch of toxicity underneath it. That's going to make the school children sick. Bingo. Exactly right. Let's avoid that. Let's avoid that. Yeah.

So yeah, just that you always have to have positive thoughts. The tyranny of that is it makes it feel like you're a failure all the time. Right? Yeah. I, I concur with that whole concept about and there are some days I like to say it this way. If we are always operating at peak performance, then it's not peak performance, it's it's something else. And so sometimes you've got you don't have a positive day. Sometimes it's a shit show and I say let that happen. Yes, yes. And it's only by having this.

It shows that you learn organizational skills. Right? Right. So. Right. Why do you think this takes so much courage to do? Because it does take courage. What we are talking about right now is that's courageous. I think part of it is because we become used to status quo. For one thing, it's like, well, this is the way it's always been. This is the way it's always going to be the whole why bother mentality. The the other thing is that other people think about the expressions that we have. Let's let sleeping dogs lie, you know, let's you know, let's you even my expression, you can't unring the bell.

So why would you go back to revisit it? There's some of those kinds of thinking. It becomes kind of the the mediocrity of the masses. But like, why are you trying to rock the boat? Why do you want more? Isn't it good enough? And I see a lot of that. The other thing is I think that people get pigeonholed. You remember all those rules that we started by talking about your scene as being a certain way that, oh, well, that's how you are. I was just recently reunited with my sister, who I haven't spoken with in 30 years. Long stations.

Thank you, thank you. Yeah, it's been it's been an interesting journey, let's put it that way. Because, you know, predictably, in the beginning, it's kind of a, you know, it's like a love fest. It's like, where have we been each other's lives? Oh my gosh, how could we let this happen?

Family Triggers, Boundaries, and Compassionate Communication 16:20

But now we're rediscovering one another. And here's the thing. The last time we saw one another, we were both kids. I mean, I was going to college and she was younger than that. And so locked in my memory, in my recollection, is a freeze frame of an 11 year old girl. Yeah. And that's not her anymore. And I'm not 17. And so and my math is all off because I'm way older than however 17 and 30 is. But whatever it is, we haven't talked to each other in a long time, but so we're we're both having to remind ourselves of that, that I'm.

Wait, before I say that I need to do an upgrade. I need to do an update. I need to remember. And I think that's what happens is that we all get bogged into that. The people around us think that we are still fill in the blank, even if they've seen us every day, because they just had this happen. My father passed away about ten days ago and, and we're we're actually recording this in March, everyone. And it's airing in April. So he, he died, that February 15th. And so, you know, talk about math. My brother who doesn't live in the same area as I do, you know, I thought we, we we came together and we just swimmingly got things done and, you know, called all the people that needed to be called for.

My mom did. Everything works so well as a team, I was beautiful. I was just like, wow, this is so beautiful and so happy. You know, that he's here. And then I went back to work for a couple of days. And then, the night before he was supposed to fly back to California, I went back down to my mom and dad's house, and we were going to have dinner that night, and something had happened in my brother's head where it's like, no longer was a 53 year old sitting in front of me. He was eight, you know, and I could tell like something was going, so something happening for you.

And and he just like, and, you know, just oh my gosh. And it was mean. And it was, it was just like, poof. And I just look at him and I said, my goodness, this must feel terrible to you. Like just the level of suffering that you're obviously feeling. You know, and and I said, what you're referencing right now happened 40 years ago, you know, where is there a way that we can bridge, you know, the 16 year old version of me and the 56 year old version and the eight year old version of you and, you know, and so, and again, our math is off because it would have been 13 year old, for him.

So just, you know, it's 40 years and it's fresh. Yes. Fresh. Right. And I could tell that this was not my brother of today sitting there. And we've already unpacked all of this stuff and done a lot of work around it. And I've apologized and cried and said, I wish I'd been different then for you in that moment. And, you know, and and it was all back to that place again. And so, you know, just to be able to hold that space and say, oh, yeah, that's what's going on. Instead of getting defensive, getting hurt, you know, it's really important to be able to recognize that when family dynamics are happening because this happens.

I was actually thinking, wow, a family death just happened and we just skated by with no drama. This is remarkable. Yeah. I shouldn't have said that in my head. Oh, well, Keisha, the cool thing is, is that the reason my sister and I reconnected was the same thing? My mother passed, and our family had been fragmented and not speaking and all that stuff. So here's the here's the theme to for both of us to remember, to move forward. And for anyone listening, try and be curious, not furious and passionate. Curiosity.

Mass. Yeah, right. And and it's so it's so, so bridging and healing. Yeah. To just like, wow, this must hurt for you. You know, and and not feel even an iota of defensiveness. If you can do that, then it allows the person to really drop in and then they have nothing to fight against. Yes. Right. There's nothing to fight against in that point, as long as it windmills. I think the important part is for it to not be a condescending, oh, this must be hard for you. Oh my gosh, yes, but a compassionate one.

I'm the older sister and if I had said something like that to my younger sister. Oh holy crap. Oh, ignited a a powder keg. So as just the important part, my point is that what you said, you said it. You need to be clear with yourself where it's coming from in here. And if it's not coming from in here, zip that lip and wait until it can. Yeah. And then it's like my brother responded really well. He recognized and you know, he was like, yeah, this isn't this doesn't make any sense. This is you know, this is a 13 year old version sitting here and it has been 40 years, you know.

And so I know this isn't really about you. This is my my twist right now that's going on inside of me. And so he was able to own that and do that. And then they said I'm going to start therapy. Like I really realize I need to do therapy. And that was really beautiful. You're not always going to get that. And so you know that if you have to have a boundary with somebody that's vomiting emotionally all over you, you can totally do that, you know? But again, if you can come from a loving, compassionate, open space of right, not not furious, but curious, sometimes you may have to have some distance and do the forgiveness process without the reconciliation.

I always say forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing, right? Because somebody is not contrite and they they're not apologetic for hurting you, then you don't keep doing it. Right. Yeah, yeah. My definition of insanity. Yes, I that's a toxic relationship that you need to detox if that's happening. So I'm so happy for you. And, you know, this is, the fact that the two of you are processing, you know, if you can both process and grow and evolve, then that takes courage. That takes a lot of courage to be able to sit still and do that.

It does. And the other thing it takes, I think for me, anyway, I can't speak for her and nor would I want to, but, that it's it takes compassion and timing. Like for me, sometimes when I want to immediately respond, I have to say, you know what? You're going to count backwards from five before you respond. Because because you need to do that. Check in of how am I feeling and where in my body am I feeling it? If she's saying something to me and I instantly feel it here, you know, anger, then anger point, then it's probably better to not say right now and to let it let me process it a little bit more.

Yeah. That's beautiful. So we're talking about second half of life and how can somebody tell if they're not living their second half of life for themselves? You know, here's an interesting thing. It's it's a slow realization oftentimes, and it has been for me and the many times that it's happened. And so I'm going to describe a scenario that, I think many people will identify with and you'll kind of see where you are, perhaps on the continuum, because that that feeling of dissatisfaction to me is a continuum.

It's not just I'm happy or I'm unhappy. There are degrees of contentment, and sometimes some of them are temporary, sometimes some of them are permanent, some are progressive, some are receding. So I think it goes like this. I think at the outset you start feeling a little bit of a twinge, an itch. It's almost like if you were sitting someplace outside in something called the corner of your eye. It's like something flew by. Maybe it was a bird. Maybe it was a bush that waved. Or a car from a. And you thought you saw something, and you glance and you're not really sure.

And then you're sure there's some. There's something over there, and I don't know what it is. And you become a little bit more conscious of it. And gradually it comes more into your vision. At the same time, if you observe your own behaviors. So in the beginning, it might be a thought like, oh my God, I just, I should quit this stupid job. You know, it'll just be a thought and you push it away.

Recognizing the Call for Change in Midlife 25:00

You're like, nope, I need the benefits. Nope. It's it's nope nope nope. And then it'll come and it'll stay that thought. The thought will grow a little bit. You know what? I need to quit this job because this is going to make me sick. If I don't. And it starts to Nestle and settle in a little bit more, and then the next phase is you say it out loud, you say to someone else, I should just quit the freaking job. And that's the beginning of when change is about to happen. Because what will happen is many times you'll say that the first time you say it is with some liquid courage.

It's a glass of wine with a girlfriend, and you're like, you know what? If I had any courage at all, I'd quit this job. Hahaha. Just kidding. And and you're taking it back and gradually it gets to be. It's a little bit more again. It's it's building its nest. And then finally, you don't care who the hell you say it to, you're just going to do it. So the discontent and the courage are growing at the same time and at the same pace. You know, they're there. It's just whether or not you choose to say, I think I saw something out of the corner of my eye, or you turn around and you go, there's a problem, and it doesn't matter.

Don't judge where you're at. It took me ten years to leave a situation that was painful and toxic for me, and when I got out of it, I did a lot of self-flagellation, took I beat up on myself and said, I can't believe it took a whole decade. That was part of my process. It's part of the takeaways, part of the things. Yes, there were regrets, but I can't let that take any more time from me. That's that's beautifully said. And you know it's not a straight line. It's also quite messy squiggly that point from here to here right.

Yes. Yeah. And you find yourself like I said you know you start to you take things back. You, you know, you I, I've done it I everybody here has done it where you're like I should just leave him. Just kidding I love him blah blah blah. But you kind of meant it. You're just throwing up a trial balloon, and you're you're testing, not the other person. Although sometimes that's the case. But testing yourself, it's like back in the day when we used to bake a cake in the oven and put in a cake tester and pull it out to see if there's anything on there.

And that means a cake that done. It's the same thing. You're testing yourself and saying, can I say this and not cry? Can I say this and feel it's authentic? Can I say it even just a little and let it be out there before I pull it back? So when is the time when you have had extreme courage to be able to confront something in a time when you haven't? Because we've all had that right? And I think about it as a spectrum. Oh, it's definitely a spectrum. And for me, I think, I think for me what happens is the the slow build that I described builds and builds to the point where you're like, I really need to do something about this.

I really need to do something about this. And then typically, and I know we have similar thoughts about this, if you don't do something about it, the universe will hand you a deck of cards, a hand that makes you have to do something about it, and far better for it to be on your own terms. But if you need that, if you need the crescendo, you need the boulder to fall on you, just wait and it will. Mine was a beautiful autoimmune disease. Yes, yes, yes. You know okay, here's rheumatoid arthritis. Are you ready to leave that church now? Right.

So yeah, there was, cult kind of thing that I belong to. And so, you know, and I kept getting the message that I needed to get out. I needed to get out. And didn't do it till I actually got diagnosed. So then I thought, okay, this is the wakeup call. Yes. Yeah. And it will happen. You can. But but wouldn't you rather have done it another way? Perhaps you know and so, so finding that courage like I said, if you when you feel like the time is right to me, then the next smartest thing is get your allies together, get your ducks in a row, figure out who's on your bench, how deep is your bench, and who can you count on to help you to to prop you up when you need that and to bitch slap you when that's what you need?

Because we all need both. And so for me, my deep bench includes nurturers and people that are supportive and all of those things. And it also includes a few people that are hard asses that talk tough. And that'll say to me, you know what? You're being a pussy, and I'm kind of tired of it. So how about we do something about it? And you need both and the balance. And I think that's how we get through because for people listening, it's usually something big. Leaving a job, leaving a spouse, it's oftentimes leaving.

Sometimes it's going to something. Starting a new business, embarking on something, a physical challenge, a triathalon, whatever it is, get a bench that will help you and support you. Yeah, that's really beautiful. And if you have resource spaces inside of you where you have been successful doing that. And one thing, as Sherry said, you know how you do when things are, you do most things. And so you can you can anchor into, oh, I was really successful at doing it that way. So let's pull from that, that place where it lives in my body, that place where it lives in my heart, in my mind.

You know, I can, I can I remember I can do this, right. Yep. And we don't forget it's like riding a bike. Yeah, yeah. And we have, we have examples of failures and successes inside of us. Sometimes people hear them say, well, I don't have any time. That and I'm like, no. Yet you do. You learned to tie your shoes, didn't you? I mean, really, you're brushing your teeth every day. So we all have success stories of some sort that we can pull through. You know, pull from. So we figured out zoom when the pandemic started.

Oh, good. Sad glue. So if you had to do over a part in your life, would you do it? And I would change.

Finding Courage, Support, and a Heart-Centered Next Step 31:20

I wouldn't change my behaviors. I would change my timeline. There are many things I would have done sooner, but that. But remember who is talking. Who's talking is the woman sitting here in the present day, in March of 2021, and not the 18 year old who did the dumb ass thing or the whatever? It's, it's so I say that even realizing I might need to take that back. So no, I but I've done my regret work. I have I have looked it in the eye and said, you don't scare me. In fact, I've learned from you.

Thank you for the takeaways. That's beautiful. I don't have any do overs either that I would do for the same reasons. Like what came from them. Yeah. You know, it was a wiser version of myself. It's why I love aging. I love aging, you know, because when I think about where I was at 35, 45, 55, you know, I'm 56 now, I think, gosh, you know, there's been a lot of evolution over those 30 years. So what's what 75 is going to be like? That's kind of exciting to think about. Oh yeah. Yes. I want to go back to this.

The I'm not gonna say stupidity, but the unskillful ness of my 20 year old self or anything. I'm kind of like the. But though my. I'll take that. So is there a baby step that our viewers can take right now to kind of tiptoe toward this? Absolutely. I think remember the first it's the first step is diagnostic and figuring out what where are we then I'm going to suggest that if everybody is listening, not if you're driving, but if you are in a place where you're listening and you can settle in and do a very brief, we're talking 92nd exercise with me.

So you would begin by finding a comfortable place in your chair, being conscious of your body. I like to put both of my feet flat on the floor without my legs crossed. I like to be conscious of where my sit. Bones are connecting with the chair. If the chair has arms, I might rest my elbows on there. And I sit, and I begin by taking a few deep breaths before I close my eyes and settle in. And in those deep breaths, which I choose to take in through my nose and exhale through my mouth. But you can do, however, is comfortable and I'll be quiet for just a moment and let you take two of those.

And with your eyes closed, if you then take your right hand and place it gently over your heart, and then take your left hand and place it atop your right and another deep grounding breath, because you know I'm going to be asking your heart a question. And the question is, what do you want? What do you really, really want? And very often an answer will present itself almost immediately for many of us. For some, it might take another moment. And then take another deep breath as you thank your heart.

And you can place your hands onto your lap and open your eyes. And I've done that rather quickly. But I will remind you that that is a tool that you can revisit at any time now. For some, for me, very often when I do that exercise, I feel tearful. I will feel my nose start to twitch just the way that it does before our tears spill out. And sometimes I hear one word and sometimes I hear a sentence, and sometimes I don't hear anything. And that's okay, because I know my heart is thinking, and I know that I need to give it space and come back and revisit it.

Because in the end, it doesn't matter what anybody else says or what the books or the self-help gurus or anybody else says, it starts with your heart. And that's the first takeaway. That's beautiful. Thank you so much. Sorry. All right. So my heart spoke and I'm so happy to end an interview. That's why it's quite lovely. Is there anything that you wish we would have talked about about detoxing the last part of your life so you can live it? Second part with for you, right. With intentionality that we haven't spoken about, that you would like to end with.

I think what I would end with is in in listening to this conversation, something stirred you. Something spoke to you. It might have been a sentence, a paragraph. It might have been a big chunk of it. Take some sort of action if you're driving and you couldn't do the heart exercise if you did it, but you were kind of half baked about it because you were listening for the doorbell, go back and do it again. It doesn't matter what action you take, it doesn't matter how large or how small. Just do something.

Action begets action. Thank you so much for spending this time with us for, you know, sharing even a smidgen of your great wisdom. I appreciate it. Thank you. Keisha. All right, everybody, until next time, be well.