Spoil Your Baby Ep 41 – Self-Mothering: Your Most Important Parenting Job feat. Dr. Gertrude Lyons

What if the most crucial job we have in motherhood is learning to mother ourselves?

Dr. Gertrude Lyons, a master coach and thought leader, developed the “Rewriting the Mother Code” framework after conducting an in-depth doctoral thesis. Her purpose is to help women rewrite outdated narratives surrounding motherhood, self-worth, and identity. Dr. Lyons was prompted to begin this work after realizing that even as an established coach, she had lost herself in motherhood, stopped mothering herself, and experienced deep regret and remorse. This experience motivated her to investigate what is possible when women put themselves in the picture.

Her doctoral thesis centered on raising women’s awareness of the possibility of personal growth and transformative experiences within motherhood. This included challenging personal norms. For example, when facing fertility issues, Dr. Lyons chose to listen to her intuition rather than immediately adopting the full medical model. By tuning in, she uncovered a deep, unconscious fear of being a mother and continuing generational trauma. Addressing this “unfinished business” proved to be a critical part of her healing journey.

Dr. Lyons emphasizes that motherhood, despite being painful or chaotic—described as the “caterpillar to butterfly gelatinous mass period”—is the ripest time for transformation and rewiring. She champions the idea that we all mother (ideas, careers, relationships), and the most important person we need to mother is ourselves.

Key Takeaways

● Recognize that the challenging, chaotic early phase of new motherhood is the ripest time for profound personal transformation and rewiring.
● Challenge the traditional view of motherhood as pure sacrifice and duty, and instead embrace it as an opportunity for self-realization.
● The deepest form of self-mothering is self-actualization and awareness, requiring ongoing internal work to truly know yourself.
● We all express “mother energy” by nurturing careers, relationships, ideas, and dreams, not just children.
● Approach pain as informative and a natural vehicle for wisdom and transformation, rather than something to numb or simply avoid.

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Resources

Guest Bio: Dr. Gertrude Lyons is a master coach, podcast host, and thought leader who helps women rewrite outdated narratives around motherhood and identity. She developed the “Rewriting the Mother Code” framework after completing an in-depth doctoral thesis. She offers retreats in Mexico and Ireland, and one-on-one immersive coaching experiences.

References and Resources:

● Book: Rewrite the Mother Code: From Sacrifice to Stardust, a Cosmic Approach to Motherhood https://a.co/d/b4MU6hl
● Website: https://www.drgertrudelyons.com (includes her TEDx talk)
● Podcast: Rewrite the Mother Code with Dr. Gertrude Lyons https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rewrite-the-mother-code-with-dr-gertrude-lyons/id1534581166
● Instagram: @drgertrudelions https://www.instagram.com/drgertrudelyons/?hl=en

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