The Magic Of Connection Through Sex Toys

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

We have such a special treat for you on this one. We are going to talk about sex toys and vibrators. We are going to talk about some of the research that has really shown that beyond pleasure, beyond fun, that’s already amazing. Beyond all that, the research that’s showing what we can actually do to heal truly, just heal sexual dysfunction and many different types of conditions that come with this.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Oh, my God, this is so much fun. I love this. First of all, this is just it’s like Christmas, it’s like birthdays. It’s like everything rolled into one. So which one do you want to start with here?

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

Maybe we will start with the tenuto.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

All right. So let me just show it to you. I love unboxing videos right here. I’m going to show you the whole little box here. Look at that picture on there. That’s pretty good. When this came to my house, I was like, what is that? Like? At first, I realized, like, I’m not quite sure. And then I don’t know, let’s open it up.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

So and quick comment on that too, just so you know, these vibrators are from our sponsor over at Mystery Vibe and a cool thing that Dr. Betsy did not know what it was is because they come with very, very special packaging where it does not say on their packaging who it’s from. So you can really be very secretive if you need to be with your delivery.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Yeah. Because you don’t really want something showing up to your house because God forbid, it’s like sent to your neighbor and it has the words sex toy or something like written on the side of it.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

You’re very protected.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

So. All right, so I just took this thing out of the box, so I’m going to show you from all different angles here. So, what I was reading about this is it’s something for a male partner, but it can be enjoyed with or without another partner. So I know when I had to look at it first, I go, okay. I mean, I think this would also be great for women. Like, I think you could put it like, yeah, there are definitely ways you could do this for like external for women, this would be really great.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

Yeah, you definitely get a lot of vibration from this one and it can be a little bit tricky. One of the things I like about Mystery Vibe so much is they have so many pictures on how to use these toys because it can be confusing. So they give examples of very, very classy drawings and samples of how to actually use these. But essentially, this is in some ways you can look at it as a very glorified conquering for anybody who knows that term. Right. So essentially, typically, how often worn is essential with the penis going through this part, and many times you would actually even on the lower part there, you would actually put the testicles through there. And so one of the cool things about this is for many you know, for many men and women, it’s like there’s this disparity, right? Of the amount of time that it can take to bring a man to orgasm versus a woman to orgasm. 

Not only has this toy has been researched right for they done personal research to help with things like erectile dysfunction in men and had amazing success with it. So that’s one amazing thing to add to that, but the other amazing thing is think about this like you’re helping with erections, it’s helping with erectile dysfunction, and it can help also, though, because of the vibration that both the partners will experience, they can also change and shorten that time to orgasm for a woman and lengthening it for a man. So it helps bring that time to this very, very difficult thing that we’re often trying to figure out in cis-gendered relationships is how to get those orgasm times closer together. This device is clinically approved magical to do that.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

And I have to say from just like an esthetic standpoint, it’s something that’s it’s like structurally very nice looking and it’s one of those things that you could like easily leave this out and nobody would like accidentally walk into your bedroom and be like, What is that? Right. So it’s like, all right. And whatever the material is that they’re using on the outside is very soft. Very soft.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

Yeah. It’s beautiful. I know there’s a lot of silicone in here. The other thing that’s really cool about this is how waterproof it is. You can even get into the shower with you like that is so uncommon. Oftentimes in the sex toy world where we’re using electronics. Right? But this one is also showerproof. And like you said, it’s like super comfortable. It’s like fits really nicely in the hand. Super easy to use. Yeah, it’s wonderful.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

And easy to clean, too, because there’s no there’s no real open. There’s nothing open. I mean, the only area is where you’re going to charge it so, but that other than that, it’s all like one unit and so like Dr. Diane was showing is like the penis would go through here and then this area would go, well, I guess there’s a couple of different ways I saw in the pictures when they showed where a man can have this area going toward the testicles. I mean, you could flip it around like this and then have the female partner be exposed to this side. But then just all the female partners are going to get exposure or whatever partner is going to get exposure to that side. When I turned it on, though the power, I was surprised at the power behind these things. So it’s actually pretty easy to turn on. You just kind of hold it down and then I don’t know if you guys can hear that, but there’s like different patterns and then there’s an up and down button for you so you can control. But I think what’s even cooler, Diane, is the app, right?

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

It’s so cool. So you guys, you download this app and it’s super easy to use. You connect it to the device, Bluetooth, very, very quick and easy to set up. It’s like extremely easy to set up. And what’s also cool is you can put it on your phone and your partner’s phone, so maybe you want to be the one in charge. Maybe your partner wants to be the one in charge. And there’s different ways, both from like a quality standpoint point as well as a quantity like the strain that this will vibrate. You can do so many different things and there are so many levels of control and it’s kind of fun to like turn that over to a partner. Right. We’ve talked throughout the summit and we had another conversation we just were recording earlier about novelty. Right. Well, this is a really fun way to add novelty, and especially if you’re in a situation where you’re trying to figure out, like I said, like, how to work with erectile dysfunction, not just in the moment, like you take some of these pharmaceuticals and you get like a momentary improvement, right? So you can actually perform. But this has clinical trials for actually healing erectile dysfunction, not just helping you in that moment. So cool.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

I mean, that makes sense too, because any kind of vibrational movement is like a mechanical, like irritation is not the right word, mechanical stimulation. And we know that mechanical stimulation can actually stimulate growth factors in tissue. So that makes that makes a lot of sense. Plus, I mean, how much fun would it be to get this for a partner for like a birthday or holiday gift, just saying things are coming up. That’s great. You know, and they’re like open and they’re like, what is that really? Like, we’ll try that out later. Yeah.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

So happy holidays to everybody that you that.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Oh, my goodness.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

So we move on to our next one here.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Let’s see the next one, like I said. All right. So here we got the box crescendoed to. All right. And then we’ll get this thing open and you’re quicker at opening than I am.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

I had it loaded inside. That helps. Yeah. Yeah. And like I said, you guys like there are in like what comes with the devices, are small pictures on how to use it in instructions. Their website mystery vibes website has more and then they even have for a very low price. They even have these additional card decks you can buy that in other ways of how you can use these things just to keep things interesting so, so mean. There is so much support in the utility of these. So if you’re new to things like vibrators and sex therapeutic devices, you have plenty of support with this company.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Do you know what I like about this one? I like the fact that it’s flat. Like it’s I mean, it’s not completely flat, but I like the fact that it’s not completely circular, especially for people with pelvic pain issues, because sometimes getting these other circular devices or cylindrical devices can be a little bit strenuous to try to get in place. So what’s nice here anatomically and this is something a lot of people don’t know anatomically, the vagina is collapsed unless there’s something in there. So this is nice in that it’s you’re not going to be like being yanked open by something. It’s less intrusive. Like it’s only really it’s not very wide and not very, you know, thick. So that’s actually a really good option.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

Yeah. One of my favorite things like this was so exciting to like discover in this, like in pulling out of the box, it’s like, yeah, you look at it like you’re saying and it’s like this long device. What is it exactly? But then what we can do with it is we can change and bend it and comport it into all of these different shapes. Right?

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

I Love this.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

It’s so amazing. It’s so amazing. And I think it’s just some of the smartest technology because there are other devices. Like one of the things you can do with this as a female is you can insert it and work on hitting various spots that are stronger and have more erectile tissue like the G-spot and then also get outer clitoral stimulation as well. And with that, what’s so amazing is this company realizes that while oftentimes G spots are in similar locations for women, everybody is anatomically different, right? So now you have extreme flexibility on exactly how to position it. Right? It bends in almost every direction except for side to side. Well, bend. And so many different ways. And you can get exactly the right spot. And when it comes to learning your own body, that’s another thing we’re talking about on the summit. When it comes to learning your own body and being able to describe it to a partner like, oh, this is where I feel the extra sensation. Maybe that other area is not as pleasurable. This is going to help you find all of those areas and learn your body, learn your partner’s body in whole new ways.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

You know, the bendability of this thing is just first of all, it’s just even not using it for sex is just fun. It’s just like at first I was kind of scared when I first took it out of the box and I’m like, okay, I can bend it. Like I was afraid I was going to break it. But then I’m like, Oh no, it’s meant to bend like easily in all different directions. And then the gynecology in me started kicking in. I started thinking about all my pelvic pain patients. And so how with pelvic pain, a lot of times you get spasm muscle. And spasm muscle is spasms muscle. So if my leg was to spasm, what would we tell you? Heat, stretch, and massage? Well, vaginas a lot more. You got to get a lot more creative. You can’t just be like, oh, let me just stretch my vagina over here. You can’t like, you know, like even your leg. You’d be like, let me just put my leg up here and stretch it. So the vagina, you got to get, like, more creative. Sometimes we’ll use trigger point pressure where we find the area where the muscle spasms and you put pressure on that area. Well, some devices are out there that can be used for that. But this can also be in you could basically adjust because the other products are out, there are fixed, like there’s a fixed shape you can adjust it. You just have to adjust by positioning and maybe sometimes you can’t get the right angle or the right position. This gives you that ability to go position it however you need to, you know, say you’re coming in from above and you need to like, you know, go in there and push on a trigger point. Well, you can bend it to whatever angle and shape you need to to get where it needs to be. So that’s something.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

And I’m thinking about when you’re saying all that’s like that that bend abilities. I don’t know if you’ve seen that show Grace and Frankie at all. It’s like it’s a hilarious Netflix show. And at one point these women decide to design sex, toy products, vibrators that are for people with arthritis because they’re really looking to say like, oh, a lot of the toys are made where the position of the vibrator or the toy cannot be done in a way where it’s not going to hurt wrist pain or those other things. And I’m also I’m extrapolating from that, that show, but it is very interesting to think about, oh, like you’re saying, certain positions where maybe you can get to that position or maybe it’s uncomfortable for a hand to be holding it in that direction now because you can do all of this fun stuff, you have more options.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

And I love it. I know that there’s, you know, once again, just like the last device, it’s all kind of one unit, and when waterproof and easy on and off and so many different combinations of vibration, you know, these aren’t your old school, like one, one rate of vibration. That’s it. There are patterns to this thing. And then we got the app too.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

Yes, we have the app too. And so I’ll talk about that. One other thing I want to make sure we say before I say that, though, is just also a reflection of everything you’re saying about your history. What you’ve seen over the years as a gynecologist around pelvic pain. This really is the perfect device because this is also a device that Mystery Vibe, amazingly, has been researched and studied on, and they have actually shown that this device can improve pain up to five times improvement in just 12 weeks. So amazing. So this is another way where, you know, we’re saying like, yeah, like sex toys are fine. Their pleasure, their novelty, their connection. But we have to start looking at devices like this not as just pleasure, but also as healing as far as ways of actually healing from some of these dysfunctional conditions.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

And I love that these fiber vibrators have like their own identity, meaning that they have their own color in shape. And it’s not doesn’t look like a giant genitalia sitting on your desk table, you know. So it’s like another thing if you happen to leave it out, people might not exactly know what it is.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

So, no, it’s definitely not as clear as a lot of other vibrators on the market. Like what it is at all. And talking about the app like another thing that’s really fun about the app. So like that basically there are different parts of we’re looking at all these different junctions along here, you guys. There are different parts that all vibrate all along here. And so with the app, what is amazing, like just like with the tenuto that we just talked about with the crescendo in the app, you can put it on your phone, you can put it on your partner’s phone and different people controlling it and essentially you can make different parts vibrate so you can, you know, alternate between different parts of your tissue that are touching it vibrate. There are different ways it’ll vibrate, it’ll pulse in different ways. You can use different intensities. So it’s highly customizable for you. And we know that, you know, especially for women, for men too, but especially for women like we are, you know, as far as like where what is needed, as far as what really works for the erectile tissue to really respond. We’re so unique. And then I really feel like they did such a good job with this product, capturing that in this vibration toy.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

You know, and we always forget and I love to mention just because we’re calling it a vibrator, it’s a massager. It doesn’t have to be for just down there. Like, honestly, like if you have like tennis elbow like this is a great like, like you can use it to vibrate, massage any area of the body you know, you got back, you got, you know, like use this anywhere and just remember, like our skin, our biggest sex organ uses anywhere. It doesn’t have to be just down there. So lots of options and angles and you know, we got tons of different ways that this can be used.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

I’m really glad you said that because I saw a picture. You know how they said they have like mystery vibe that has all these like cars on and examples of how you can use that? Well, one of them is actually using this device that we just talked about on the nipples.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Oh, yes.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

So you actually use it to simulate the nipples. Right. And so like skin anywhere like you’re talking about, like this is your opportunity to be very creative, to add novelty and just to be curious and, you know, and it’s like some of it might feel good, some of it, you know, you might not enjoy. But it’s just a good opportunity to be like, okay, this is what I like. That’s not what I that’s not what the other person likes. And you learn so much about how to provide deeper pleasure and connection way beyond just intercourse.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

You know and know to bring it up. What’s also nice about that flat shape to it is I mean, we’ve been talking about using it vaginally, but that shape is also really nice for rectal play, for anal play. So if that’s something you want to definitely check out, this is a great option and it would be much easier to insert than other devices that are out there on the market. So yeah.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

Absolutely. And there’s also, you know, good reason to consider like prostate massage. And there are a lot of reasons to do that for prostate health. Right. And these are of your open to that to help with the health the health of the prostate. These are other ways you can use this device. Of course, I have to we have to say, like make sure you do use this rectally at all. Clean it before you use it in other areas. Very, very well. You don’t want to give directions.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

I was just thinking the same thing. I’m glad. And then we have also the Poco. So this is a much smaller box and the same idea. Same as I am, first of all, they got great packaging, and great coloring on here. So open it. And so you have it. It just serves little devices here and they all come with their own chargers. This is almost like the crescendo, but just a smaller version of it. So maybe like even a travel version might be. It also bends. So we do have the bendability on the smaller device too and once again can bend in all different shapes and ways. So this one has three major sections that bend as opposed to the other one had more, more sections, but still really gives you that, that freedom to bend it in and do however, you know, get the angles that you want still made out of that great silicone coating. It’s like super soft. It’s almost has a skin-like quality to it and also controlled by the they get all of their devices amazingly controlled by the app. And I can’t say enough about I’m always like surprised when you turn these things on and I know sometimes like I’ve gotten people where they’ve gotten confused. They’re like, I can’t figure out how to turn that on, read the first, or read the instructions. Honestly, the company is so easy to if there are any ever kind of issues with any of the devices you just call the company. But usually, it’s make sure you you charge them for a good 24 hours before using and then it’s usually just holding down the one button to actually trigger or turn it on. And then it usually takes like a second or two and, and it turns on and the same thing with the turning off, it’s pretty easy. And then I’m always surprised with the power behind these little motors and these things.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

Yes.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

And they’re different, like and I like I want to know who was the person who came up with the patterns of vibration because that’s something I wouldn’t have thought of. Yeah. Would have been like on and off. Right. And this is got like, you know, it’s almost like a musical quality to the vibration. I like it really.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

Yeah. It’s really the thing I want to add to that. See, when we’re talking about charging and power is at least in my experience and maybe they’ll change, but so far the devices I have gotten do not come charged. So if you are, you know, if you get them and you’re excited to use them, you’re like, okay, we’re going to do this and wrapping party later with my partner and try them out or wrapping part or my wrapping party with myself later and try it out like you’re going to have to wait to charge it. So just know that when you get on, you do want to unwrap them and charge them. If you’re planning on using them any time soon and all of them have just a super easy it all, they all plug in to just a USB device, those super rechargeable very very easy to use and I would say, you know, 5000 thumbs up to this company in these products. And, you know, it’s like I was already excited and learning about them and, you know, they were our sponsor but upon really, you know, exploring their products and seeing what they’re doing and seeing the research and everything else. Like what a gift to be partnering with these guys.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

I think they’ve really kind of taken the whole sex toy industry in a different direction. It’s, you know, it’s not like the old things that we kind of used to make fun of in the past. And, you know, there’s science. There’s engineering behind this. There’s science behind this. It’s not like, let’s just throw a motor in something and make it long like that, you know there’s thoughtfulness put in everything. I mean, down to like what the material is made out of because I mean, it was, you know, not too long ago that this kind of companies realized that the plastics and materials that were being used could actually harm people. So, you know, these companies now have switched to materials that are going to be touching your skin that are going to be safe and hygienic and easy to clean. And, you know, and that’s in there. And that’s a big, big thing. Make sure you’re cleaning them in between uses, in between body parts of the areas of the body that you’re using them with. Switching partners and all of those things.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

Yeah. It’s very, very, very important. And yeah, you’re right. I mean, I think there’s been so much that has come with the technology and I do really appreciate that, that they are actually taking the time to do clinical studies on seeing things like we talked about, like how amazingly cool to have a device that not only will cause pleasure but can also heal pelvic pain like mind blown right that those kind of studies just shows about that that the level of care these guys really have for their quality products and how they’re thinking down to that micro level of the quality of the results and so much more.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

And I think it’s fun because like I sometimes struggle with like, what do I get people for, for like presents and like, I mean even like we’re talking partners or get yourself a present gives this is a gift that keeps on giving now but in a good way. But you know, but the other thing is how fun would this be like for like a wedding? Like if the bridal party all got vibrators as a gift.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

I love it.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Honestly, I probably don’t need another piece of bridal jewelry, bridal party jewelry, or something that I like something engraved with, you know, a husband and wife’s name that I’m never going to use like that. Got it. Or just, you know, for fun. Way to start a conversation with your friends. Get them on some of these things. You know, I’m sure that they will thank you their partners will thank you so.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

Oh, yeah. Believe me, I have already been texting a lot of my girlfriends about these products. So very excited and have great ideas for gifts. I love it.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Yeah. Oh, my goodness. And then I think that would bring up. Where can people find some of these products?

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

Yeah, absolutely. So you guys will make sure you have this in the show notes. This is our sponsor, Mystery Vibe who is sponsoring these products. So it’s just kind of like it sounds mystery vibe,  VIBE. We’ll put all that information in the show notes for you, but they’re very easy to find online and very easy to order. And like you said, like really easy and responsive to contact with any questions like this what we should leave people with.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

No, I just think, you know, if you are experienced with toys, this is great these are great ones to add to your repertoire if you’re not experienced with toys, these are great as beginner ones. So I think all around these are good, really good options for anybody who wants to just add a different angle into their play.

Diane Mueller​, ND, DAOM, LAc

Yeah. Agreed. Well said. Any any level of your experience they really can work well for you. All right, everybody will. Thank you for listening. Has been so fun to do unboxing with you and I hope you guys take advantage of these toys and we will see you on another summit interview.