Top 3 Tips For Parents Who Have Kids With Headaches

Alison Alford, MD

Yeah, absolutely. I’m so glad to be here. So yeah I’m actually a child pediatric headache specials here in Richmond Virginia. So I did pediatric neurology and then I actually went and did extra studies to be a headache specialist on top of that. So that’s all I do all day headaches and concussions. When I opened my own practice six years ago because I wanted to really spend time with patients. Be able to educate patients, not just medicate them. I think there’s a lot with migraines and any lots of headaches actually that we can do that is not medicinal. It’s you know there’s lifestyle changes behavior things and that takes time to talk and educate a patient about. So with my own practice I could take as much time as I wanted. I could schedule things the way I wanted and so I opened my own office for that reason and I’ve loved every minute of it and getting to do that for patients. It’s been fantastic.

Amelia Scott Barrett, MD

I love it. That’s great. Okay so then what do you tell parents you’re talking to parents and kids all day long about headaches? What are some of these educational lifestyle pieces that you think are really important for parents to know?

Alison Alford, MD

Some of them are really simple silly things like hydrate. People do never drink enough water and kids especially tell us 2 to 3 liters a day on a regular day and you probably tell your patients that as well. I mean it’s it seems simple but it makes a huge difference in the headaches. And then watching their caffeine intake a lot of kids are drinking the monster drinks the Celsius and those are not things we want them to have and too much caffeine, I give them more headaches and so we watch those things and getting them up and moving. That’s one of the biggest things we can do and it is hard for kids with the workload they have in high schools now middle school, even elementary school sometimes for them to find time to be kids and go play and relax and get outside. So encouraging your kids to get up and move in whatever form they find enjoyable if that’s dancing like an idiot to the radio, like no one’s watching, go for it. But help them get off screens, get outside, get off their phone. Even for 2030 minutes at a time just to get up and move. That’ll go a long way to helping their headaches.

Amelia Scott Barrett, MD

So I love this idea. But I’ll be honest with you, I am a mom of a teenage girl with headaches and I try to get her to move. But you know there are so many barriers to it. It seems like, I mean it’s partly what you said her schedule is so packed if she has a free half hour in a night, like I’m resisting. I’m just really reluctant to say honey, do you do you want to come lift some weights or she’s like no. So I you know it’s it’s just really hard to do that. Do you have any any tips to share strategies that that might that make it go over a little better with the kids or you know secret inside tips of the trade on how to get your teenage?

Alison Alford, MD

Absolutely. Well why let me say there is something to be said for balance. So you know if it is that one half an hour and they need to decompress that’s okay. Like don’t beat yourself up as a parent that you didn’t do every waking minute.

Amelia Scott Barrett, MD

Good point, Good point. Yeah.

Alison Alford, MD

You know they’re one of the gifts the pandemic gave us and I really think this is true is that when Jim shut down in the world, shut down exercise had to go virtual. They didn’t have a choice. And a lot of people and I’m actually a zumba instructor, which is if I could swim, but all day long I probably would. But a lot of those people that’s my side gig for them, it’s not, that’s their livelihood, that’s their job. And so losing the gym a huge impact. So everything went virtual. And so there are, I mean anything you want to try, you can probably try online. I know zumba definitely went virtual and you can dance with people from all over the world at any, given any given time of day you want. 

And that’s been helpful. I know that companies like beach body had virtual platforms, bar classes, yoga classes. So again, if it’s that little bit of downtime and you want them to relax, you can do yoga. And so getting access is easier. You don’t have to drive to the gym and have a big weight system. And the other thing I think as a parent that helps is work out with them, you know, we beat ourselves up, especially as mothers all the time about spending time with our kids and working mothers, right? We have a business to run and I have this to do well. Yeah, but if I have to work out anyway, if I do something we both enjoy now, I’m spending time with my kid and we’re getting healthy together. Set goals together. I know for a while I don’t know if anyone, we, my family and I watch American ninja warrior I know it sounds silly but it’s a lot of fun and I’m amazed at what these people can do with their bodies and so we looked up a it was an at home ninja workout and it was basically lunges and squats and you know bodyweight exercises and I started doing it by myself just because I thought it’d be fun and I would put on like we set up a soundtrack of a lot of the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack, seventies like fun music and my kids wanted to join it and ended up at one point all four of my family members, we were all doing it together and pushing each other to do more sets and do more and work and we had a blast, you know, we look forward to it, you know, Tuesday night was ninja night and so working out with them, I think double doubles your fun with it and makes it a little more workable.

Amelia Scott Barrett, MD

Yeah, you know you bring up that is to really good points, the first point you made is find things online which is so much more available now and that does kind of tap into their natural screen propensity shall we say. So I hadn’t thought very much about that. That’s a good tip and yeah. Yeah working out together then you know you’re helping them on multiple ways. You’re being a role model. You do get that time together like you said and then also they get their workout in and mom gets their workout in or dad. Right so that’s kind of a win win. Yeah. Yeah.

Alison Alford, MD

Sorry I also think it helps them to to learn some time management and help that part of it. I think that’s a skill also that will help your migraine sufferers and warriors is teaching them. Okay well maybe that’s not the only half an hour they could have if we work their schedule around and maybe what project they were working on here. They could figure out we could do that on Tuesday if we work out today and help them plan their day to plan a workout in. Also I think would be helpful wven if it’s with you or not but you help them plan their day that’ll reduce their stress and help their headaches too in addition to the exercise helping the headaches. So it sort of gives you that benefit as well.

Amelia Scott Barrett, MD

Yeah and I really like what you’re bringing up about time management. That sounds like something that’s really helpful for us to coach our kids on also as parents of kids with headaches tell me more about that.

Alison Alford, MD

So it’s amazing to me how much our kids do. I think it’s ridiculously higher than what we did as Children and how much workload they have and how many activities they’re in and I mean kids are playing, not just sports for their school, which is what I did, but they’re playing a travel team on top of that and like my daughter’s a gymnast, so that’s an intensive sport. She’s in the gym for days a week for hours at a time and and then has all her school work to do. And so it’s it’s a lot for them to do and we as adults adapt most of us, I should say a dad pretty easily and doing multiple things at once and planning our day out. Kids don’t have that skill immediately. So we as parents need to teach them how to do that and how to a lot your time. And so if you know, you have a big project, don’t wait until the last week, sit down in the beginning and say okay, I’m gonna work on this part, I’m gonna kind of give themselves due dates maybe and that doesn’t things I’m suggesting don’t necessarily work for every kid and I’ve had this conversation with patients trying to help trying to help them figure out how to manage their day and sometimes kids just don’t like, yeah, I can sit down and make that plan, but I’m not gonna stick with it. Okay, well then we have to, you have to pay out what’s gonna work for your, your child. But helping them learn those skills so that they can multitask as it were, when it’s necessary and be able to have some downtime in their day, some fun in their day and still get their work done without feeling stressed and overwhelmed is a skill. And I think that’s something as parents we need to teach in addition to, you know, teaching them manners and they teach them life skills and I think that that goes a long way.

Amelia Scott Barrett, MD

Really good point. Yeah, to spend some time teaching kids time management because I mean, it’s not like it’s a natural born skill, you know, I mean, think about all the other things we teach our kids, like you were saying, and I would imagine that what you’re really getting at when you help your kids with this skill is you are teaching them how to manage stress. You are teaching them that yes, I can anticipate that this part of my week is going to be hard. I’m going to church. I think that up, I’m going to do a little bit this day a little bit that day that day. I can’t do anything. All right, well at least if you’ve thought about it ahead and you’re anticipating it, you’re really teaching them that number one stress will cause your headaches. That is how you’re made. And number two you can control that. You can influence it. You don’t have to be a victim of your schedule. You don’t have to give up all the things you love. You just need a new skill set right?

Alison Alford, MD

Yeah and I love that you used the word control because that’s really part of it is stress. I took kids like the kids in high school I said your stress usually gets better when you go to college and they all look at me like but it’s more work and it’s more intense but you have more control. Your schedule is not eight hours a day locked in a building. Do you know you have a couple of classes and then if you have a headache you can rest and then you still have time to get your work done it’s feeling and sometimes we have to feel control like we have control even if we don’t. And so sometimes that time management gives us that well okay. I know I can’t work on it this day but that’s okay because I have planned to work on it the next day or I have already done some work on it before and it doesn’t feel so much of a punishment that I didn’t work on it that day and I’m gonna be behind.

Amelia Scott Barrett, MD

Yeah. Yeah I love that. That’s a really good idea. I would not have thought about that as being a top tip for parents who are dealing with kids with headaches but I think you’re right, that’s a really good plan. Anything else, other tips that you recommend for your parents dealing with kids who have headaches.

Alison Alford, MD

I mean I think just again teaching them ways to relax. And I always sometimes I wish I could tell you this is how you relax do this. No you gotta figure out what works for you. And the same thing like I said with exercise, you gotta find the thing you enjoy. So I tell people you know meditation is great and I’ve done it. I will, I was skeptical. I’m not gonna lie. As a as a previous yoga devotee, I still was skeptical. I was like really sitting still is gonna do something for me. And I was I handled stress much better throughout the day, I was much calmer. My move is much more level. I’m not gonna lie but for me like 3-5 minutes as much as I can do and then my mind starts going on. I put that down, I gotta put that over there and I just, I couldn’t do longer but for some people 20 minutes a day it’s the perfect thing. My husband runs, I told you I said I would rather you punch me in the face than run anywhere like that. I have never enjoyed it. I will never enjoy it but for him he’s like it’s me in the road and I like it. 

He cannot dance. He would not do zumba ever. I’ve tried, he won’t do it, but that’s my happy hour. Like I, and now that I’m an instructor, it’s even double because I get all that joy back from the like students in the class, the classroom and it’s amazing but you have to figure out what works for you. And so whether it’s relaxation or exercise, there is no one size fits all. And so figuring out what works for your child, what works for you. And then just as part of that you’re gonna listen to your kids like sometimes what you think they need isn’t what they need. And I think in the world has gotten so fast paced so everything’s in small nuggets overwhelmed with information and input. And our kids are getting that too. And I think we forget as adults a lot of times how much of the world they’re absorbing and how much they are trying to process the post pandemic world just like we are and we can learn from them sometimes too as well as help them and figure out what they need and listen to them take. 

You know, if it’s a 10 minute ride to the store and they go with you, talk to them when it’s them. You see what, what are they worried about? What are they anxious about? What’s on their mind not what you think should be on their mind and you might be surprised and, and then that gives you more things to help them work on. Maybe they know, I know how to schedule my day. That’s not my problem. But I’m really worried about, you know, this incident I had with my good friend and I don’t know how to handle it. You know, there’s lots of skills we as adults take for granted that we learned and we know how to do and how to navigate in social situations and leadership problems and all kinds of stuff that we can help them learn as well. That also give them tools to help their stress and help their headaches.

Amelia Scott Barrett, MD

It sounds like really what you’re saying is just spend some time to connect with your kids. Meet them on their ground, do what they want to do, you know, plug into their world so that they’ll up and open up to you and connect with you.

Alison Alford, MD

Absolutely. I will be honest. So I don’t know how many parents will know this. There’s a game called roadblocks and I’m not endorsing and at one point, but there’s a game in there where you literally adopt animals. That’s the trade animals adopt animals. I started playing because my kids were playing it and we now have the blast sitting with each other and because you’re in a, you’re on a server together. So you all know you’re in the world together and we’ll trade stuff to each other and what’s amazing to me, it’s not just the game we’re all sitting in the room together playing right, we’re talking as we go and so I’m getting double, I’m in the world. 

I’m seeing what things they’re playing, what kind of experiences and what they’re talking about. But then we’re also just talking like and the stuff just flows because they’re just having a good time. They’re distracted and then you’d be surprised what they open up about. So being on their level really does make a difference. And I’ve gotten slightly addicted to it. I’m not gonna lie. Sometimes I play when they’re not around. But you know, but it’s you know, I think we it’s important to know what apps they’re on, what they’re doing and and meeting them at that conversation I think is important.

Amelia Scott Barrett, MD

Well this has been a really interesting conversation. This is not what I thought you were going to say. I thought you were gonna tell us all about, you know, the usual headache advice. Like put your kid on magnesium and stuff like that and you are a pediatric headache expert and these are the nuggets that you have distilled from many years of conventional medical training and working with, you know, people for decades at a time. So I think this is really incredibly valuable information to get out there for people and just to sort of summarize, So it sounds like exercise is important releases, endorphins helps kids in so many ways, maybe get them signed up for something online or maybe exercise with them and then teaching time management skills, which is really about stress management, How do you chunk out your time, How do you allow yourself a little bit of room in your schedule in case you do get a headache and you can’t get that assignment done on the one night you have for it. 

You know, you’ve learned about your body and you have learned ways to schedule your time ahead of time so that you don’t get in those stressful crisis situations as much and then just really connecting with your kids teaching them, you know, relaxation things like meditation or whatever what they’re drawn to and connecting with them in their world. And I like this because these are things that all parents can do, they’re completely free. You don’t have to get a doctor’s permission for it or anything like that, You know, these are just lifestyle changes that all of us can do, that can really make a big impact on the headaches that your child is experiencing. Is there anything else you want to add today Dr. Alford for our parents out there who are dealing with this?

Alison Alford, MD

I don’t think so, I just I think a lot of this stuff is really I’m passionate about and important to me because I don’t like putting medicines and kids if I don’t have to, like, I don’t think kids should have pillboxes and have to take something every day. If we can find these other triggers in these other, you know, wellness avenues, it really does go a long way, making their headaches better without having to medicate them all the time. And so they seem simple, but they make a big difference in the headaches and I think that’s, it’s sometimes simple is what we need to remember and do. So I think that’s my best piece of advice.

Amelia Scott Barrett, MD

Love it. Love it. Yeah, that’s a great foundation and if people want to work with you come and visit you, how can they find out about your work?

Alison Alford, MD

Absolutely. So our website is pediatricheadachecenter.com our handle on facebook twitter and instagram is @PHCR the number four in the letter U. And our email is [email protected] if you want to reach out that way. we try following us on instagram. Facebook is kind of fun. We did, we’ve done several, we actually have a youtube channel as well, which is linked on our website, but we’ve done some funny t rex videos and I’ve seen those inflatable t rex costume. My friend and I have done with migraine tips built in, but it’s us in t rex suits. So we try to be entertaining as well as education also. Sometimes just following for the sheer joy of it is not a bad idea. But yeah, we do have a full service headache center here in Richmond with an infusion suite and nerve blocks and Botox and everything in one space for you. So we are always happy to help when we can.

Amelia Scott Barrett, MD

I love it. That’s great. Yeah. Well everybody take a look at those social media resources or if you happen to be in that area, you should definitely put Dr. Alford’s Clinic on your radar screen and thank you so much for being here today and sharing these nuggets of wisdom with us. I really appreciate it.

Alison Alford, MD

Thank you so much for having me. It’s been a blast.