Join as I dive deep into the incredible journey of self-discovery and empowerment. In this video, I’ll share an eye-opening story about the true secret to success—posture!
We often find ourselves comparing our Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20, especially in this dazzling age of social media, where perfection seems to reign supreme. But let me tell you, the path to greatness isn’t about the finish line; it’s about the beautiful journey we embark on, filled with lessons, growth, and that undeniable sparkle.
Get ready to ignite your passion, boost your confidence, and unleash the fierce goddess within!
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Remember: You are the main character of your own story, and the world is waiting for you to shine!
Full Transcript
Opening and Going Live 0:00
Okay. Hey everybody. Dr. Remka, I am trying something a little new. Let me see if it's working. I think I'm going live on two platforms at once. Not usually this sophisticated, but I try to be efficient and I keep working it out best I can. Maybe drop a something and let me make sure Facebook. So I on Instagram and Facebook I have completely messed that whole beginning up because you're supposed to come in fast and do like a hook and get your attention. And I didn't do any of that. One of my coaches will be like, really Rymka?
That was so bad. Okay. I'm a fail forward. Imma keep doing it. So I was on a business coaching Zoom last night with somebody who I've taken many classes from and I hadn't heard from him in a while. It was the first time I hearing him talk and it was shocking because he was in big group environment. And in his 20 minute segment of the whole meeting, I had so much illumination as to, oh, that's what I do? That's What it is. Okay. If that's what I'm doing, if that is the secret to my success in life and school and work and business and money and relationships, social media, whatever the stage speaking.
That's the. To what? I've been doing. And I actually haven't been teaching that to people.
Chapter Comparison and Social Media Pressure 1:35
I didn't teach that with these words, with this knowing. to the thousands of business affiliates I've had, whether they're selling my courses, they are selling products, whatever. They're brick and mortar, they're doctors getting patients into the office and just trying to help them leverage a little extra $50,000 a month by moving some nootropics or some CBD or something like that because doctors need more money too, y'all. Everybody has bills and the bills are just constantly going up. I'm not gonna lie, okay?
So this is what I figured out last night and it made me think of a story and I wanted to share the story with you. And it comes down to this. Have you ever heard the phrase, don't compare your chapter one with someone else's chapter 20? And I think it's important to keep reminding you of this because we are really prone to do it. As social media has taken off, as filters have become the new norm, and as weird gluing on of eyelashes and things and inject people, I don't even know what's happening with most people's faces right now, okay?
There's so much pressure to push forward and reward fake and false and hyperbole that, and these personas that are not even real people at this point, I think. It's causing a lot of really wonderful people who have incredible gifts to share with the world to end up feeling bad about themselves and quit even trying to go after bettering themselves or going after their dreams. And that breaks my heart because they have special gifts to share. They were born for greatness. You were never born from mediocrity.
That is not why any of us are here. A lot of it just because there's this natural kind of comparing your chapter 1 or your Chapter 2 with somebody else's Chapter 10. 12, 20, 100. So you're starting, and you look at maybe me now, but you didn't see 10 years ago when I started on social media. You didn' see my first Facebook Live. you Didn't See my First two months of posts on Instagram, you just see where it is now. And you missed a lot of the journey. so you are starting and I intimidate you or you don't see how you can be like that or whatever.
That might be some story some of you are telling. So because of this comparison of chapter one or chapter 20 that's going on, that bad enough. But now in this environment with so much fake Photoshop, AI and ghost writing, you know, even really know if it's that person's real chapter, 20 or if someone else faked it and they just ran it through chat GPT. Okay? I want to remind you of that.
Christineu2019s Story and Early Courage 5:00
A lot of fakery going on. Lot of shenanigans. Oh, I just went to the gym and they're injecting themselves with all kinds of stuff lying to you. Lying to. Okay. I wanna tell a story, a real story that came to my mind last night so deeply, brought me to tears actually, because I'm so happy about the story. That I hope will help you because I just figured out, last night, on a free business coaching Zoom, a part of my business, what is my secret to success? 51. And I'm only getting started. I know I might be better at 56 than I am at 51, and at 62 than am it, right?
I-I'm getting better and better. Imma be at my prime at 70, watch. Ha! Stick around for the next 19 years, cause it's going. But! Immediately, this is the story that came to mind. Why this was what my brain connected, I don't really know. But here we go. Once upon a time, there was a little girl in second grade. She was struggling to make sense of the weird characters on the pages in the books she was supposed to be able to read. And after spending the entire year working with her teacher and her mom, and her tutor after school, she was really frustrated and sad that the decision was made by the adults to let her spend an extra year in second grade.
So her brain could have the time and the patience required to catch up with how hard It was to learn, to read with dyslexia. Now, on the first day of her second grade, she found herself alone in a sea of strangers. And these strangers were asking a lot of questions. Who is that? Because after all, the second graders were just with all the 1st graders, and this was a new face. It quickly spread like wildfire that she failed. Upon seeing she looked overwhelmed and didn't know where she should sit at lunch when standing in that lunch line, another little girl walked up to her and said, hey, you want to come sit with us?
And the rest is a little bit of history about how two little girls became very best friends for many years. Now these two little girls went on to dominate the room in many ways. They were funny, they were charismatic, They are quite opposite and yet just the like. they went to the dominate all the sports teams winning all of the time and were the only girls to always play football, baseball and soccer with all boys at recess. Now while one struggled and worked really hard to get a 70% on a weekly spelling test, and the other won every school and city and county and state spelling bee without ever even studying.
They were like a little two peas in the pod, alike and opposite. That girl with dyslexia, I'll cry thinking about her, was my best friend Christine. And she taught me more about courage than most people will really ever know. I don't think the kids in the class ever understood how much I thought she was the real rock star between the two of us. Despite my grades, my winning contests, My spelling bees, right? That my accomplishments were like getting more attention What not many people got because they didn't get to see at times was how cowardly to do what I wanted to for fear of failure, I actually was sometimes.
But Christine, she seemed to give zero Fs, right? She didn' t seem to care much what people thought of her anymore. After all, She was already the dyslexic kid who couldn't read. and failed second grade, right? And had to study and barely could pass the spelling test every week. I don't know. But here's where I learned watching her struggles, her failures, or obstacles. Some of the conversations I had with her mother at their kitchen table created tremendous resilience in Christine. And I saw it and I respected it.
And respected the shit out of her for it, that girl worked. She never gave up and it was hard. In fact, this is the story that came to me. I remember the moment I was most proud to be her best friend.
Learning Posture Through Fear and Performance 10:50
It was also one of the times I most ashamed of myself. It was eighth grade I think, maybe sixth, I don't know, something like that. And it was time to audition for the school play. We were all into the plays, the popular kids did all the stuff and we did everything. we were just doing all things back then. So when it's my time audition, i thought for sure I'd get the lead. After all I was popular, a good public speaker, one of the best forensics competitors the schools ever had. I could do this thing, that was funny, class clown.
But Christine wanted it too, so we had, look, we're gonna see who will win this thing, right? It's some friendly competition. We were good. So when the music teacher called us up, they had to go one by one, and it was my turn. In that moment, it's the first time that I'd been called to up and sing by myself with a piano accompanist, I realized I was way too terrified to sing a solo in front of anyone. I had done group, I'd done like choruses and stuff, but this was going to be a musical and I suddenly was overwhelmed with fear.
Now did I tell anybody? Did I say I was scared? did anybody see me shake? that anybody seen me cry? Nope. Not gonna happen. i was a little too cool for school. That wasn't about to So I really don't know what I said, but I know I did like some pretending. Like I didn't give a shit and I don' want to do it. I tried to make the whole thing seem like I'm not doing this blah blah and did something dumb, maybe got myself in trouble. like a panicked duck looking calm on the top and my legs are freaking out underneath me.
My little, are they gonna see it? Are they going to see me afraid? I wasn't ready for that. I didn't have the capacity for. That I watched Christine then go up there. She walked up and she belted out that song with zero stress. And I remember just being like, I wanted to like, and even though I was trying to become invisible in my own shame, of my weakness, my fear of that, being bad at it, made fun of, laughed at, failing, I had no room in the system that I couldn't be good at something. It just wasn't allowed, so I just was afraid to try.
I could not even get caught in that because I'm in such awe of her. And I was like, how did this girl do that? Who I've watched cry over her spelling test, who I watched throw her tests in the thing and get angry because she would study so hard and fail again because you couldn't read. It was just hard, right? She wasn't dumb. She was real smart. Just couldn' make those letters line up the way my brain can make them line And I was like, the contrast for me was so extraordinary. And, I don't think I told her at the time.
I, was scared. That's why I didn't do it. So I had to keep my ego in check, my reputation in, check and all that stuff. But, to this day, still I think, damn that girl's, tough girl. People might've thought I would was a tougher one. Probably came off the tougher ones. But there's a lot of strength in people that have this quiet strength sometimes you don't understand. So I say all this and say, people see me on stages, they see my public speak, I can drop that mic, i'm good at it. I studied and I practiced and trained, so I am good, and work for it, but they'll compare that and not understand that there have been times I have choked I was afraid.
I didn't do it. But here's what I'm trying to tell you this. Because I just realized what the key to my success was. And it's because I use moments like that where I felt so bad about myself that I did have somebody to look at to inspire me. Oh, what is that, right? I use it to fuel my own discipline, to build up my skill set, the buildup my confidence, build my swagger by working on my identity. And because I worked on this, what the term is that it's called, and I didn't understand this until last night, I went, oh, that's what it is.
Many call this my posture. I don't know that what this was, really, but I'm like, it' my posture. I'm postured. This is why I am so good at enrolling people in the possibility of choosing themselves or choosing my product or choose my course or my services or whatever. It's because of posture. Here's what posture is. And this is what Christine Coffey displayed when she got up and could sing and felt that out. Posture is not caring what people think about you. I don't need you to accept or agree with me.
I don't require your approval, your acceptance on anything I'm doing. And a person with a strong posture just stops requiring anybody's support to go after their dreams and their desires. I realized that's what I've built myself into. A person of strong postures. I, when I'm teaching my business builders and my affiliates and like coaches, like how to do this, I wasn't saying it that clearly because I didn't know
Applying Posture to Business and Leadership 17:20
it clearly. And when i heard about strong posture, i thought of Christine Coffey and how she stood up and I could not stand up. and how now every time I talk, every I get on the stage, I'm nervous, i'm shaking, im uncomfortable. I don't wanna do it. Im backstage going, idk why I thought this was a good idea. Yup, and this is a really bad and I regretting this decision right now. God, why do I keep doing this to myself? I hate this feeling. And go, music cue, okay, boom. and then the music and i walk and the i talk and love it And maybe an hour after that, yeah, you wanna do next year?
Yeah, let's do it. And then a few hours later, I'm like, why did I agree to do that? I don't know, like that I am not sure why I did that again, right? So I want you to know I do, that still, and I really love it, And I still scared. I say, all business, All success, if you want to use, it's really 80% mindset at a bare minimum, not skill set. The only reason you're working on a skill set is so you can build your posture. And here's what I want to say about that is Christine showed me. She had posture in one area, and didn't have it in another.
We all go through this, right? We can have posture here, but not posture, here. I can posture with my sexuality, I could posture my looks, posture of my beauty, my intelligence, like I have a posture for my athleticism. But as you get older, you start stacking all the versions of yourself on this. Listen, i just got posture because I got postured. i don't need you. for anything. Let me be real clear. Every conversation, every interaction, you are applying for my attention. I am the gift. Are we clear?
You're not doing me a favor. So that's an exaggeration, but that posture. You know what I mean? So I'm never bothering somebody when I say, hey, I have this great product. I'm trying to help you. You don't want me to have you? I will help somebody else. Know what I mean? And that's why when you come to my office, it's an application for services. you are applying. I'll tell you if I accept you or not. And I reject at least 60% of the people who apply for my services, no thank you, don´t want to work with you because I don't have desperation, neediness.
I Don't need your approval. That's the kind of place we need to get to any success, right? I didn't care what was your love life. So I have missed that with some of my leadership training. so that's my next big learning as a leader. And I'm super excited to focus on this. and I'll just tell you this because again, I'd say it's because you're probably maybe many of you are comparing your chapter one or two with somebody else's 10, 15 or 20 or chapter 100. You're looking at Gary Vee and Tony Robbins.
I'm like, they're on chapter 3,000. Okay? Like, just start your damn book. Start writing your story. start focusing on you are the main character and you're writing it. Everybody else is an accessory. They are privileged to be in your Story. Stop writing the shit out of your storytelling. And anybody that comes into your storyline, you aren't doing them the favor. You are a gift. So I have to figure out how to teach posture better to my people. And I'm super excited about that. This is part of some of the concept of, I like to live in blissful dissatisfaction.
I'd like really enjoy the now, like you really enjoyed the wins. Like to really be like, yeah, you got better, but I am always dissatisfied. That's why I always going and growing. I'm just gonna do that because I find it fun. So if that helped you, if any of you sometimes are maybe comparing yourself to me or somebody else, you need to remember I've had many chapter one, two, three, four, five things and some of them were ugly. They weren't good. And I didn't always come out smelling like a rose.
I just tried to learn from them and I reflect upon them. So if that helps, learn more about posture. And if you want to improve your posture, I'm committed to learning to translate and teach that a lot better for people, in particular in some other business. If you're interested in any of that, let me know. But ultimately, it's just hopefully a gift for you. I hope somebody maybe learned something and maybe something feels lighter than your heart. because I just want everybody to share their gifts, share the magic, because you're holding something here that I don't have.
And if I can help you grow and nurture that so you know how to it with the world, I would love to be a part of that. But if this was enough to help go out there and share your gifts I'm grateful as well. Have a fantastic night, Instagram and Facebook. It was a simultaneous thing. I hope it was okay.
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