Why Your Vitality Isn’t Just About You (Part 2) | Vitality Wednesday

Introduction and episode topic 0:00

Hello everyone and welcome back to Hello everyone and welcome back to Vitality Wednesday and I am Dr. Kalpana Vitality Wednesday and I am Dr. Kalpana Vitality Wednesday and I am Dr. Kalpana Sundar. With me is my co-host Robin Sundar. With me is my co-host Robin Sundar. With me is my co-host Robin Fields and every other week we talk Fields and every other week we talk Fields and every other week we talk about things related to vitality and a about things related to vitality and a about things related to vitality and a two weeks ago we talked about how two weeks ago we talked about how two weeks ago we talked about how vitality isn't just about you. So if you vitality isn't just about you. So if you vitality isn't just about you. So if you missed that conversation, you know, missed that conversation, you know, missed that conversation, you know, maybe go back and take a look. It was maybe go back and take a look. It was maybe go back and take a look. It was quick but 10-minute little episode about quick but 10-minute little episode about quick but 10-minute little episode about how it affects your relationships. And I how it affects your relationships. And I how it affects your relationships. And I wanted to kind of deeper dive into that wanted to kind of deeper dive into that wanted to kind of deeper dive into that today with Robin because you know, the today with Robin because you know, the today with Robin because you know, the other thing that people don't realize other thing that people don't realize other thing that people don't realize because I again, I think we all think because I again, I think we all think because I again, I think we all think vitality is just about us and it really vitality is just about us and it really vitality is just about us and it really isn't. But low vitality affects so many

Vitality affects everyday interactions 0:46

isn't. But low vitality affects so many isn't. But low vitality affects so many things. It doesn't It actually affects things. It doesn't It actually affects things. It doesn't It actually affects the connection that you have with other the connection that you have with other the connection that you have with other people. So not even just your family and people. So not even just your family and people. So not even just your family and family. That's we talked more about family. That's we talked more about family. That's we talked more about family last time. But also the people family last time. But also the people family last time. But also the people around you, business acquaintances, around you, business acquaintances, around you, business acquaintances, people that you come across every day, people that you come across every day, people that you come across every day, people at the supermarket, all of that.

people at the supermarket, all of that. people at the supermarket, all of that. How does it show up in those situations? How does it show up in those situations? How does it show up in those situations? Well, it can actually distort your Well, it can actually distort your Well, it can actually distort your character in everyday life. So character in everyday life. So character in everyday life. So let me ask you this question, Robin. let me ask you this question, Robin. let me ask you this question, Robin. When you're out and about in a day, can When you're out and about in a day, can When you're out and about in a day, can you tell when somebody you tell when somebody you tell when somebody doesn't feel good?

doesn't feel good? doesn't feel good? Yes, absolutely. Yep. And you can also Yes, absolutely. Yep. And you can also Yes, absolutely. Yep. And you can also feel it when somebody is feeling great. feel it when somebody is feeling great. feel it when somebody is feeling great. Yes. And you know what? We we don't Yes. And you know what? We we don't Yes. And you know what? We we don't register these things sometimes. We register these things sometimes. We register these things sometimes. We don't think about them, but it is very don't think about them, but it is very don't think about them, but it is very obvious not only in the way they obvious not only in the way they obvious not only in the way they communicate, but in the way they show up communicate, but in the way they show up communicate, but in the way they show up energetically.

energetically. energetically. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Somebody feels great who feels great, Somebody feels great who feels great, Somebody feels great who feels great, how would they Let's say how would they how would they Let's say how would they how would they Let's say how would they act in this grocery store?

Reading energy in public and social settings 1:50

act in this grocery store? act in this grocery store? Um well, very nice, uh very helpful, Um well, very nice, uh very helpful, Um well, very nice, uh very helpful, um smile. um smile. um smile. Right. And then you have the person Right. And then you have the person Right. And then you have the person that's, you know, stomping their feet, that's, you know, stomping their feet, that's, you know, stomping their feet, checking their phone, and just checking their phone, and just checking their phone, and just aggravated, and you know, again, they aggravated, and you know, again, they aggravated, and you know, again, they could not maybe they don't have a could not maybe they don't have a could not maybe they don't have a vitality from a physical perspective, vitality from a physical perspective, vitality from a physical perspective, maybe they don't have vitality from an maybe they don't have vitality from an maybe they don't have vitality from an emotional perspective. Whatever that is, emotional perspective. Whatever that is, emotional perspective. Whatever that is, they do lack some sort of vitality or they do lack some sort of vitality or they do lack some sort of vitality or they wouldn't be they wouldn't be they wouldn't be acting that way. If they were truly acting that way. If they were truly acting that way. If they were truly inhabiting their body and enjoying their inhabiting their body and enjoying their inhabiting their body and enjoying their life, life, life, I don't think a person acts like that.

I don't think a person acts like that. I don't think a person acts like that. Yeah, and you can definitely feel that Yeah, and you can definitely feel that Yeah, and you can definitely feel that energy. energy. energy. Yes. Yes. Yes. >> It brings you down. It really >> It brings you down. It really >> It brings you down. It really >> aware of it and you can stay, >> aware of it and you can stay, >> aware of it and you can stay, but yeah, if you let it affect you, it but yeah, if you let it affect you, it but yeah, if you let it affect you, it can bring you down. Yes, absolutely. So, can bring you down. Yes, absolutely. So, can bring you down. Yes, absolutely. So, I, you know, I've had a couple of I, you know, I've had a couple of I, you know, I've had a couple of experience with this, and again, experience with this, and again, experience with this, and again, sometimes I just tend to get a little

Low vitality and negative behavior 2:46

sometimes I just tend to get a little sometimes I just tend to get a little aggravated that people act certain ways, aggravated that people act certain ways, aggravated that people act certain ways, but then take a step back and just try but then take a step back and just try but then take a step back and just try to maybe propose what could be going on to maybe propose what could be going on to maybe propose what could be going on in their lives. I experienced something in their lives. I experienced something in their lives. I experienced something very interesting at a very high-end very interesting at a very high-end very interesting at a very high-end social networking club um several months social networking club um several months social networking club um several months ago, where, you know, these people that ago, where, you know, these people that ago, where, you know, these people that I met there, you know, of course they I met there, you know, of course they I met there, you know, of course they seemed really nice, and then seemed really nice, and then seemed really nice, and then as time went on, I was starting to get as time went on, I was starting to get as time went on, I was starting to get vibes of people talking about each other vibes of people talking about each other vibes of people talking about each other and talking bad about each other, and I and talking bad about each other, and I and talking bad about each other, and I thought thought thought Oh god, you know, I thought that was a Oh god, you know, I thought that was a Oh god, you know, I thought that was a situation that happened only in grade situation that happened only in grade situation that happened only in grade school or in middle school or or high school or in middle school or or high school or in middle school or or high school. But no, it happens even in school. But no, it happens even in school. But no, it happens even in adulthood, which is crazy. But the adulthood, which is crazy. But the adulthood, which is crazy. But the bottom line is that when people don't bottom line is that when people don't bottom line is that when people don't have vitality, whether it's mental, have vitality, whether it's mental, have vitality, whether it's mental, whether it's emotional, whether it's whether it's emotional, whether it's whether it's emotional, whether it's physical, they're really reduced to the physical, they're really reduced to the physical, they're really reduced to the smallest version of themselves.

Personal reflection and growth 3:34

smallest version of themselves. smallest version of themselves. Because the small contracted version of Because the small contracted version of Because the small contracted version of a human being is one that talks badly a human being is one that talks badly a human being is one that talks badly about other people, is negative, has no about other people, is negative, has no about other people, is negative, has no patience. patience. patience. An expanded view of a human being who An expanded view of a human being who An expanded view of a human being who has the vitality in many aspects of has the vitality in many aspects of has the vitality in many aspects of their life would be somebody that their life would be somebody that their life would be somebody that doesn't say negative things.

doesn't say negative things. doesn't say negative things. Is present in their body, present in Is present in their body, present in Is present in their body, present in life, enjoying it. Right? And those life, enjoying it. Right? And those life, enjoying it. Right? And those things show up so differently. things show up so differently. things show up so differently. Yeah, that's really sad. Yeah, I've Yeah, that's really sad. Yeah, I've Yeah, that's really sad. Yeah, I've noticed that, too, but noticed that, too, but noticed that, too, but Hmm, you wonder why Hmm, you wonder why Hmm, you wonder why they don't feel they don't feel good they don't feel they don't feel good they don't feel they don't feel good about themselves, so they have to bring about themselves, so they have to bring about themselves, so they have to bring others down. Yeah, and you know, I think others down. Yeah, and you know, I think others down. Yeah, and you know, I think that that that they don't feel good about themselves.

they don't feel good about themselves. they don't feel good about themselves. And whatever the root cause is, it's And whatever the root cause is, it's And whatever the root cause is, it's something related with either emotional, something related with either emotional, something related with either emotional, physical, or you know, mental physical, or you know, mental physical, or you know, mental well-being. I mean, that those are the well-being. I mean, that those are the well-being. I mean, that those are the really the only three things that I can really the only three things that I can really the only three things that I can think about. Because when I I When you think about. Because when I I When you think about. Because when I I When you really feel good in your life, you you really feel good in your life, you you really feel good in your life, you you don't think to want to do that to don't think to want to do that to don't think to want to do that to somebody else. And I'm not coming from somebody else. And I'm not coming from somebody else. And I'm not coming from this in a place of where I've never done this in a place of where I've never done this in a place of where I've never done that, because I have. And so, I'm coming that, because I have. And so, I'm coming that, because I have. And so, I'm coming from this at a from a place of I've done from this at a from a place of I've done from this at a from a place of I've done that.

that. that. I know why I did that, and now I don't, I know why I did that, and now I don't, I know why I did that, and now I don't, and I know why I don't do it anymore. and I know why I don't do it anymore. and I know why I don't do it anymore. When I was a surgeon, I acted When I was a surgeon, I acted When I was a surgeon, I acted many times the same way. Just very quick many times the same way. Just very quick many times the same way. Just very quick to judge, very did not show people to judge, very did not show people to judge, very did not show people grace, um very impatient, you know, so grace, um very impatient, you know, so grace, um very impatient, you know, so clearly my life was not where I wanted clearly my life was not where I wanted clearly my life was not where I wanted it to be.

it to be. it to be. You know, but at that moment, I I didn't You know, but at that moment, I I didn't You know, but at that moment, I I didn't know it, and I don't think I was willing know it, and I don't think I was willing know it, and I don't think I was willing to look at it. But later in my life, I to look at it. But later in my life, I to look at it. But later in my life, I started to look at it and realize what started to look at it and realize what started to look at it and realize what it does.

it does. it does. Yeah, and I think all of us have been Yeah, and I think all of us have been Yeah, and I think all of us have been there. Oh, yeah. We all have. Yeah, and there. Oh, yeah. We all have. Yeah, and there. Oh, yeah. We all have. Yeah, and this is not a um you know, this is not a this is not a um you know, this is not a this is not a um you know, this is not a finger pointing, this is not a blame finger pointing, this is not a blame finger pointing, this is not a blame issue. No, it's just a noticing issue.

issue. No, it's just a noticing issue. issue. No, it's just a noticing issue. And when we see people like that, I And when we see people like that, I And when we see people like that, I mean, honestly, now I look at it with

Choosing compassion over judgment 5:32

mean, honestly, now I look at it with mean, honestly, now I look at it with compassion. I used to just get angry, compassion. I used to just get angry, compassion. I used to just get angry, but now I look at it with compassion. I but now I look at it with compassion. I but now I look at it with compassion. I think, "Wow, you know, I I think, "Wow, you know, I I think, "Wow, you know, I I I I feel for whatever struggle they're I I feel for whatever struggle they're I I feel for whatever struggle they're going through." And then I just say going through." And then I just say going through." And then I just say something kind in my mind for them, that something kind in my mind for them, that something kind in my mind for them, that I I they find whatever their peace I I they find whatever their peace I I they find whatever their peace they're looking for is.

they're looking for is. they're looking for is. Yeah, that's so good. Yeah, that's so good. Yeah, that's so good. And they can feel that, I'm sure. And they can feel that, I'm sure. And they can feel that, I'm sure. I hope so. I mean, cuz that's all I can I hope so. I mean, cuz that's all I can I hope so. I mean, cuz that's all I can do, and I don't want to I don't want to do, and I don't want to I don't want to do, and I don't want to I don't want to resort to what they're doing and then resort to what they're doing and then resort to what they're doing and then just talk negatively or feel negatively just talk negatively or feel negatively just talk negatively or feel negatively about them. So, I feel that compassion about them. So, I feel that compassion about them. So, I feel that compassion is the best way I can do it, and it is the best way I can do it, and it is the best way I can do it, and it keeps me calm and peaceful, and keeps me calm and peaceful, and keeps me calm and peaceful, and hopefully they feel that is all I can hopefully they feel that is all I can hopefully they feel that is all I can say. So, yeah, but there's a lot of that say. So, yeah, but there's a lot of that say. So, yeah, but there's a lot of that in the world, and it really vitality has in the world, and it really vitality has in the world, and it really vitality has a significant impact on others around a significant impact on others around a significant impact on others around us. So, we can choose to either make it us. So, we can choose to either make it us. So, we can choose to either make it a a a a positive impact or a a negative a positive impact or a a negative a positive impact or a a negative impact. And I think what I'd love to see impact. And I think what I'd love to see impact. And I think what I'd love to see in this world is that we all feel good in this world is that we all feel good in this world is that we all feel good emotionally, physically, mentally, emotionally, physically, mentally, emotionally, physically, mentally, so then we can so then we can so then we can continue to spread that to continue to spread that to continue to spread that to others around us, because that is others around us, because that is others around us, because that is contagious. It really is. When contagious. It really is. When contagious. It really is. When somebody's mean to us, some of us will somebody's mean to us, some of us will somebody's mean to us, some of us will just go and be mean to other people.

just go and be mean to other people. just go and be mean to other people. Or you have another choice. Somebody's Or you have another choice. Somebody's Or you have another choice. Somebody's mean to you, you look at them with mean to you, you look at them with mean to you, you look at them with compassion, and then you just choose to compassion, and then you just choose to compassion, and then you just choose to be kinder to the next person you come

Serving others through kindness 6:54

be kinder to the next person you come be kinder to the next person you come across. across. across. Yeah, absolutely. That would be and and Yeah, absolutely. That would be and and Yeah, absolutely. That would be and and even if one person makes a difference, even if one person makes a difference, even if one person makes a difference, um that one person can have a huge um that one person can have a huge um that one person can have a huge impact impact impact 100%. 100%. 100%. >> around them. >> around them.

>> around them. I think sometimes as human beings, we I think sometimes as human beings, we I think sometimes as human beings, we think that we're small and and can't think that we're small and and can't think that we're small and and can't really create effective change. But, you really create effective change. But, you really create effective change. But, you know, you don't have to be Gandhi or know, you don't have to be Gandhi or know, you don't have to be Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr. to change the Martin Luther King Jr. to change the Martin Luther King Jr. to change the world. I mean, you really I mean, world. I mean, you really I mean, world. I mean, you really I mean, massive respects for for them, of massive respects for for them, of massive respects for for them, of course, and people like them, but course, and people like them, but course, and people like them, but on an individual level, if we can just on an individual level, if we can just on an individual level, if we can just extend kindness even when kindness extend kindness even when kindness extend kindness even when kindness wasn't extended to us, Mhm. we literally wasn't extended to us, Mhm. we literally wasn't extended to us, Mhm. we literally can change the trajectory. Oh, excuse can change the trajectory. Oh, excuse can change the trajectory. Oh, excuse me.

me. me. >> Bless you. Well, that just means that that's a true Well, that just means that that's a true statement. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not superstitious. I'm not superstitious. I'm not superstitious. But yeah, But yeah, But yeah, I had I had I had a church leader once. I loved his way of a church leader once. I loved his way of a church leader once. I loved his way of thinking. He's he thought every morning, thinking. He's he thought every morning, thinking. He's he thought every morning, "Who can I serve today?"

"Who can I serve today?" "Who can I serve today?" I love that. I love that. I love that. Yeah, I do too. And it was Yeah, I do too. And it was Yeah, I do too. And it was new to me, so I have tried to do that new to me, so I have tried to do that new to me, so I have tried to do that and implement it, but it just gives you

Closing remarks and upcoming topics 8:13

and implement it, but it just gives you and implement it, but it just gives you a different perspective and you know, a different perspective and you know, a different perspective and you know, who can we help? Who can we serve in one who can we help? Who can we serve in one who can we help? Who can we serve in one small way today? Yeah, and that's a small way today? Yeah, and that's a small way today? Yeah, and that's a beautiful way to look at it. And beautiful way to look at it. And beautiful way to look at it. And sometimes I'll I'll just add that sometimes I'll I'll just add that sometimes I'll I'll just add that sometimes it's somebody else and sometimes it's somebody else and sometimes it's somebody else and sometimes it might just need to be us.

sometimes it might just need to be us. sometimes it might just need to be us. Yeah. Only because we cannot truly serve Yeah. Only because we cannot truly serve Yeah. Only because we cannot truly serve others until we're really taking care of others until we're really taking care of others until we're really taking care of us. us. us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I agree with that and just with the So, I agree with that and just with the So, I agree with that and just with the with a small change. Don't tell don't with a small change. Don't tell don't with a small change. Don't tell don't tell him I changed religions.

tell him I changed religions. tell him I changed religions. Well, let me get between you and me. Well, let me get between you and me. Well, let me get between you and me. Okay. Okay. Okay. And the man upstairs. But anyway, well, thank you guys so much But anyway, well, thank you guys so much for for joining us today. I hope that, for for joining us today. I hope that, for for joining us today. I hope that, you know, added some, you know, at least you know, added some, you know, at least you know, added some, you know, at least some perspective to your day and, you some perspective to your day and, you some perspective to your day and, you know, starting next month we're going to know, starting next month we're going to know, starting next month we're going to get into some logistics and deep dive get into some logistics and deep dive get into some logistics and deep dive into some vitality measures. So, stay into some vitality measures. So, stay into some vitality measures. So, stay tuned with us and thank you guys so much tuned with us and thank you guys so much tuned with us and thank you guys so much for watching.

for watching. for watching. Thanks, Dr. Sundar. Yeah, bye everyone. Thanks, Dr. Sundar. Yeah, bye everyone. Thanks, Dr. Sundar. Yeah, bye everyone. Thanks, Robin. Bye.