Architect Reveals The 3 Spaces In Your Home That Are Secretly Destroying Your Sacred Relationships

Common Friction Points in the Home 0:00

And I think, especially if you're in a place where there are multiple people living in the household, I wonder, in your design process, Are there things that you recommend that can practically help to kind of soften these friction points and increase ease and grace throughout the home? You know, it's hard to just talk about it without seeing a specific example. Like, if I'm looking at someone's particular home, I am looking their family, looking up their existing floor plan and saying,

Why Entry Spaces Need Better Storage 0:42

okay, what works, and what doesn't? Are we going to make changes with their home? Or are we building a new home and we want to take the good and leave the bad? behind into creating this new thing. You know, what are the specifics we can dive into? Generically though, I can share some things that are common friction points in the home. And those typically are spaces that perhaps not quite size appropriate for the load, the occupant load or the paraphernalia load that they're getting. So those are going to be kitchens, bathrooms, and entry spaces.

Think about it, especially if you live in a cold climate or a climate with seasons, like I do in New England. Um, as the seasons change, I mean, you have coats and hats and boots and gloves and umbrellas and scarves and. Bags of groceries and handbags and keys and cell phones and all sorts of stuff. And if you come home with a family of five, all at the same time, and you just have a little entry area or worse, no entry at all. It just opens right up into the kitchen or into a living room and it's just becomes a dumping ground.

Right. You need a size appropriate space that can handle all of the people and all the gear that they have to deal with.

Building Systems That Reduce Household Friction 1:58

And if there's not a place for all those coats to go in an organized fashion, then things are going to end up out of place. You spend precious time nagging the people you live with to pick up after themselves. And that creates friction and disharmony in the relationship. Whereas it's not that they're lazy. It's just that there's no system in place. The architecture isn't supporting it. Where as if we build a size appropriate entry vestibule with appropriate cubbies or shelves or closet space for storage of everyone's stuff comfortably where they can get at it, Then once a few times, once the habit is established.

Then it just becomes automatic, second nature. You just go ahead. Oh, here's where my keys are. And then that way you're not running around the morning going, where are my key? You know where they are? They're right there. They always go there, this is where. There's a place for it. I built a system around it and so we build systems into the home to do that. So now instead of chasing around, looking for misplaced lost items or nagging each other for picking up after themselves,

Accepting Limits and Focusing on What Can Change 3:04

the time you can spend interacting is quality time. It's about doing stuff that's fun. It is about engaging at deeper levels. And so that is an example of a friction in the home that it's no one's fault. You need to be accepting of yourself and of the people you live with and just allow a broader acceptance and compassion for each other. There are some things you can fix. Let's fix those. There's some things that you can't fix and you just have to say, okay, it's one of those things. I just ha it is what it.

And, you know, perfection is hard to come by in the, in a world of three dimensions, and so when we build a home from scratch, we can build things, We can get excellent perfection. Right. But we could certainly head for excellence and we try to figure out how many cubby spaces we're going to need or how much linear feeders of closet and how may drawers of storage and many, coat hooks and all that stuff. We plan the space for everyone. But if you don't have that and there's simply, you know, if your renting a place or if already in a position where you have no budget or no intention to renovate the place, then you want to focus on things that you can do rather than the things you cannot do.

Because if focusing all the time on the thing that can't do, it's an impossible task and you're just going to be frustrated. And so that's not the message I have for people is dissatisfaction. People find the low hanging fruit, the simple things they can to positively impact their life. Yes.