Be VicTORIEus Ep. 89

Book Release and ACEs Introduction 0:00

Hey, you guys, it's me, Dr. Tori. My book is officially out. And yes, It is time to talk about ACEs. You guys can find the books everywhere. However, I would encourage you, guys to go to my website, bevictorious.com and place your order today. Yes. It's time. To talk. About ACE's. Let's go, y'all. Hello, hello, you guys. Welcome to another episode of Be Victorious. This is actually part two of an episode that we really need to listen to. You guys, we've been talking about ACEs for 30 years, but this young lady has really been talkin' about ACES for thirty years.

She is a board certified health practitioner from Kaiser Permanente. And when I tell you she is 30 years and she has 30 Years in Diana, where are you? Good morning. I am excited to be with you. It's been a great week. Don't know if you know, but you've ignited some things here. You've sparked a discussion that needs to happen. We cut the chase and went immediately to the source, and I have been talking to my new best friends. week, it's an amazing thing because you all have to understand the listeners, the people that are watching, this is history in the making.

This is a discussion that has been going on since 1995. Yes ma'am, before actually he started doing, Dr.

Why ACEs Took So Long to Enter the Conversation 1:51

Foley started the work probably five years before that, yep. Yep, and to see that we're finally Finally, after 30 years, because we're gonna make it happen, I'll tell you, who's going to make that happen? Because we have to continue to have these conversations. We're bringing awareness to ACEs that has never happened before. And I think the great thing is, we are having the conversations, connecting our communities, bringing an awareness of something that should have been brought a long time ago.

So we had to have this discussion, you guys, have a part two, because we got so deep and it resonated with both of us that we have to continue to had these conversations, Because we know how healing goes. And honestly, for someone that knows about ACEs, if you understand your ACE's and you'll understand ACE score, You'll learn how to heal. Trust me. It comes with education. So here we are having this conversation. Diana, welcome back. Thank you so much. It's so exciting to be here because I, to your point, we are finally having all of these important conversations and I'll tell you something.

So Dr. Felitti, who is pretty much the biggest part of the story, it was interesting. He was not well received after he figured out what was going on. So when he started to figure out, connect the dots with ASIS and understand why people in their 40s, 50s and 60s had such horrible health. um he would yeah everybody uh turned he got a lot of people turning their backs on him even within the organization because nobody wanted to touch it with a 10-foot pole that's a personal problem that is not our problem and people were frightened because it brought up their own stuff so within medical community Why it's dragged out so long before we're now feeling like we can do this openly, strangely enough, is because people just, especially within the research and medical community, thought it was a taboo subject.

I'm just letting you know. So that's why I am giddy that you and I are having these conversations. And I think that's what I love because I wrote a book. Let's talk about it. How come we are not talking about? And so going into communities where I know it's needed, we have to, because why not? Why not have this conversation? So that where it started with me. Now I will share, I do lunch and learns live on Instagram on Thursday. They're pretty good. People really come with their paper, pencil, ready to learn.

And I was explaining to them the difference between childhood trauma and ACEs, because it's been a big deal. I've had some people kind of get off on me about that. But I let them know in regards to ACE, it it a medical term. It's it resonated in medical books, in journals, that type of thing. So I didn't get out like it should have. I gave the example of my dissertation and said, this is really the book, you guys. What I did was just add my story too. This, and this is the reason why people are grabbing it so quickly because it resonates that way.

And so when I presented it that was like, oh, that makes sense. Well, let me tell my story then. Or me saying, well, you guys, I'm a first generation high school graduate, honestly. I graduated with a doctorate degree too. When it's like well what did you do? I understood my ACES.

ACEs, Trauma, and Social Determinants of Health 5:55

What's ACEs? And I will say Diana what I would resonated with me is we've never really had a global campaign or a campaign in regards to supporting aces either. No, I think it's been in growth. wonderful folks in small places trying to do their little bit. I mean, there's a lot going on in England, which has been wonderful. It is, you know, I think for better or worse, COVID actually helped this because people said, mental health, once it got really scary, everybody got scared about so many people passing away due to suicide.

Like, oh, I guess we better pay attention. And if we look at the pandemic and understand it, it's a collective trauma. It adds to intergenerational trauma, and people didn't want to look that either. So appreciating what the body holds, so telling the story, is so important because we need to relieve our systems, our nervous systems of carrying the burden of pain. Exactly. And let people know stress. I think that's the conversation for us as adults. So talking, we always talk about our unresolved childhood trauma.

We're going to come up with a name for it because it really doesn't have a because we don't know how to handle the ACEs that we have because, we know what they are. And then we become adults and we're going through the same things are in the ACES categories. And so here we are having a conversation and saying, okay, you guys, it resonates within our body. Okay, You guys. It resonates with in our stress levels. okay. it will, It can do this. What is the it? And I think that's the reason why people want to have the conversation.

I agree with you 110%. The pandemic was the eye-opener because I. Agree. When the CDC made those updates in 2023, that when the light bulb went off for me. Yeah. I, and I'll share, when I completed my dissertation, I complete it in the middle of COVID. So it also didn't get the, but I will shout out Chicago because Chicago saw it. And when Chicago, saw that I endured through the pandemic, they created this big, big billboard. It's set right on I-57 and 94. So there's an intersection that goes to Indiana and it goes Memphis.

And here I am like this, graduated with a doctorate. I think people saw that. They saw more than anything in the city of Chicago that there is this black woman on this billboard and she's done something in this pandemic that Because I didn't get to graduate until two years after I received my doctorate degree. So again, no recognition, but let's put it out there, know anything. And I kind of see how it resonated back in 1998 because it really sat on the CDC website until the pandemic woke us up.

It did and also I think help disparities, social determinants. So people, it's interesting. We just hired a new young woman on our team and I was giving her a history lesson about what Kaiser's all about and this, that and the other. But I thank the interesting, cause she goes, I telling her about ACEs and she says, oh, because she'd never heard of ACE's. And but she she goes, but it sounds like the social determinants of health. And I said, bingo, I say there would be no social determines of Health without the ACES study.

It is a genesis of that work. So what we now people really are much more comfortable talking at least about understanding where people live and the resources that they have and.

Healing, Resources, and the Limits of ACE Scores 10:20

The safety of the neighborhood and food insecurity. These things are. Much more easier to talk about than people in their own homes, having severe dysfunction. So, yeah. And I agree, because that's the conversation that we now need to start having. Now, I will share with you, what's working for our podcast is the fact that, we have people out there that do know about ACEs. and the life that they're living now, the steps that their taking. Yep. There's hope. The message of hope, it's always a message hope right?

But I think, I also think that the concern is that people feel like, okay, once I, first and foremost, ASIS is not a diagnostic tool. We have to remember that. You are not doing, cause a lot of people will misinterpret it. It's kind of like going down the rabbit hole on with WebMD. Don't self-diagnose. If you're going to use that ACE questionnaire, please, make sure you've got the resources to do something with it. Because if you just sit with yourself with, it could eat you up. So the responsibility that you and I and all your champions, your, you know, folks have is that we need to help people guide them once they've taken it so that they know how to get out of the hole.

Get out that because in and of itself the ACEs won't get you where you want to go. Not at all. And that's the reason why I will share and I always share, and always put that disclaimer out there for people to know, I am not a therapist. I an educator, the ACEs educator. Keep therapists, keep social workers, those people around me for the determinants of once you get that ACE score and you have questions, let's see. Let me educate you. And then here, let me provide you a list of resources that will be available for you in case you have questions.

I think those steps is what people need to understand. Because I'll share in the community, it's still that, what, therapy? Do I? All right. Oh, yeah. therapy is for me as an educator is the education and then the community awareness. Oh yeah. Because you're in circles, you are in places, your in safe spaces where people are saying well yeah I was sexually abused when I Mm-mm. Sadly, no. It's so much more difficult. And that's how the conversation starts. That's comparison to say, your ACES score is a five.

What's your next steps? Let's go talk to a therapist because that is the issue. I hate that, but I will ask you as the answer, because you are, what are some healing strategies, habits, or support systems that have helped you? Well, spirituality, huge. Huge. God's grace is everything, for sure. But I think that's, you know, again, it's about the community around that and finding forgiveness of self and other. because the pain is pretty intense. Also, I'm going to tell you, obviously, because my background is in creative art therapy, creativity, our souls need to be creative, and I love the paintings behind you.

It can be, so we have within us, everyone, these great gifts in us to Be Well, but we don't, people don, it's not like you come with a manual and you know how to manage this stuff. But the beautiful thing about whether you sing, whether your write, doesn't matter what you write. How you right, you're right. Movement. expression of any kind, it helps regulate that nervous system, which I know you've been talking about the polyvagal theory by Stephen Porges helping regulate. I think to your point, we have to appreciate the fight, flight or freeze versus the parasympathetic.

The tool, so you asked me a question is what has helped me and what is helped is to understand how this body works. How does this body work? The problem really is hard to be patient. We want to feel better now. And what's going to great about the mentors that you have in your community is to walk with people over time, over seasons, because I can, you've got them in your book. People can go buy books and listen to other people talk about, hey, do X, Y, and Z, which are all valid points, but it's going to look so different in life.

And we're going hit sticking points. Like the holidays are coming up. Some of it is good, some of is not so beautiful, right? And so as a health coach, what my job is, is to help you walk through that season and know that Even though it may not work out the way you thought it was going to work. Just keep moving forward. Don't get stuck. I don't know if that was helpful. It was. Because, again, you're empowering others. You're the expert when it comes to this. lived experiences are the best experiences.

So people are looking for us to say, okay, what's next? Well, What did you do? You know, like, You can retire if you want to, you know what I mean? But yet you're still going. People would ask and say, hey, well, how? How can you help? What do I need to do? So of course, I'm always going to ask because again, as a person that advocates for adverse childhood experiences, those lived experiences are what want hear. I want them through because I feel, and this is just me, I have been through a lot.

So you don't have to go through it. And that is what I tell my mentees, or I'll tell, you know, that I am working with. When I'm helping someone go back to school to get their doctorate degree, whatever I'm doing during the day, you know what I mean? I have to let them know like, listen, I've been through it. You can take my advice, You could try it yourself. However, if you don't take My advice and move forward because at the end of the Day, i just love the fact that understanding ACEs you can actually heal

Personal Trauma Stories and the Path to Recovery 17:20

if You understand. It is the stepping stone. it's the pieces because it takes something that has It's so hard to talk about and you can't even get your head around. There are no words. And then, so that's why I mentioned in the last, when we were meeting for the first episode was that I feel like I'm a translator for trauma because it crazy. It crazy, man. I think when, to your point, the lived experiences, when we talk about each other's crazy, like you would get my crazy and you'd be like, oh yeah, I got even more, you know?

So because, and I'll share a bit about my situation. So when I was raised in a household with two alcoholics, brilliant people, they're English professors, but if you look at their trauma, dysfunctional folks during the depression. There's a whole bunch of stuff. So my father ended up being manic depressive and having a severe breakdown when I was young, tried to kill my mother. And so then it blew the family, just me, my sister, and blew up. My mother decided to move us across country. We had no money.

She was selling her plasma to keep going. because yeah, so been there and done there, got my t-shirt too. And then thought, okay, well, I'm gonna be all I need to do, because everybody was acting like fools, you know, bad stuff. I decided to the very opposite, So I decide you become very prim. and I am gonna to be the best girl, and gonna get the the grades, And I gonna show y'all, that I not gonna become you. That worked for a while, got through grad school. Got married the year before I started grad School just because I knew it would make everybody happy, right?

Then my father ends up passing away due to lithium toxicity, which is the medicine that you take when you're bipolar, but he wasn't being well monitored and it killed him at 64. And that was the beginning of how I got to where I am now, I think, if that event hadn't happened, because it brought me to, like, my marriage fell apart, all that stuff. So I had to walk. What I tell people is you can run, but you cannot hide from your stuff, and so until you start, you get the ACEs information, are you ready?

for the story to be different? Are you ready to make some amends? are you Ready to have some peace, peace with the past? Can't change how mucked up my family was, right? And the things that I could be more like, Oh, I didn't get this. My parents never did that. So what? You didn' t get what you didn t But now I make a decision to give myself what I need and speak up and have a voice. But I'm 60 years old now. So it's about time. The generational addressing is what i am really starting to appreciate because It's, I'm in my forties.

You have the 60 year olds that are saying thank you. They're the ones that I've met that're saying, thank. I knew it was something. And it's like, yes, like I know, know I wish I would have known. It was like you still can do something in your sixties? Oh my gosh. Yes, you can. do some things. So you would be surprised a lot of the people that I'm interacting with are older than me and they want mentorship. Nice. Of the fact that they feel like they have found what they were looking for the same way that I felt like I found out what I was looking.

For you know, I mean, so I I share in their sentiments because it's a wonderful feeling they when I tell you. Diana, people send me stuff every day. I mean, every, day, and I look at it because it's a value to me. It makes me know and believe that they're understanding ACEs for real. They're understand it. So, Dr. Williams, what do you think about looking in the vaginal nerve and it's like you should yeah that's what you think is the reason why your body needs to heal look into it there are people there resources there people that talk about how the nervous system is attached to straight like, you know, it, oh, its clear as day out there but again, I just want to prove not to say I do want provide the education is like to really really learning.

And I think that's the reason why the movement is moving so fast, because it's like, okay, wait, hold on. Hold on, I'm like wait. If you're looking for someone that is talking about, so ADHD is connected. I feel like that it connected, Hold On a second, let me give you three stories, episode three and four. Because I don't, you know what I mean? It's hard to find it, see that people are sharing their story in relation to it. I think that's the reason why it has become a valuable tool, because people are making that relation because of the stories of The Psycho Breakers from the podcast.

I agree. And I Think the beauty, the hope, again, that message, it's emotional freedom is the gift. Emotional freedom, is that you, be brave. Take your time, gotta be patient, but be around good people. Be around the good peoples so that it's possible because doing it by yourself, I mean, you've been alone in your own misery for how long, right? I don't wanna be alone anymore. Yeah. I got a good question for you.

Creative Expression, Nervous System Regulation, and Coaching 24:15

And what it was something you wish people understood more about aces now that wasn't talked about then. Dear. Um, I think, particularly, but So I think what I'm grateful for, really I, think your question's a great question, but I it's interesting how times change, right? And as much as I like, and Dr. Felitti did this, it was like come on, listen, People aren't ready until they're ready. And that is in recovery. We talk about this as well. You just never know when somebody is going to get it. So they can only get when they are ready, so that acceptance piece.

I think the other is that the silence needs to stop the secrets, the silences, people keeping secrets. is the cancer. It is cancer in us. And so I guess what I would say, really what am I'm grateful for and hopeful for with how things have changed, is that people's health will improve. Because once we understand that emotional dysregulation causes inflammation in the system, and the major contributor to premature death and misery. So when we're able to help people calm down, feel centered, feels safe, Health improves significantly.

So it's not an option not to talk about your emotional health because your physical health is completely tied to your Emotional Health. It is? Yeah. I've been telling people something as easy as stopping. Just stop for a second and breathe. Yeah, stop and breath. It works for me. And it's crazy because you really never know once you do it. Something as simple as that really can help. We don't even want to do that. But yet, if we try it, it works. It's like, oh. do it again, it will work and help you.

So you're right. I am going to agree with you 110% because I think that's the reason why we're talking about it, because people are looking at the numbers and they're looking in mental health and their saying, when we can actually do this ourselves. We can, we have a lot more influence on our medical health than we know that we do. And I think part of my concern about that, though, is that people will go down that rabbit hole of social media and believe whatever they read. So that is something, it's a different piece, but I do know this to be true because my health is significantly improved.

when we sleep better, we're able to make better decisions about what we eat. When we have nutrition in our bodies, were able walk and be out in nature. I mean, they all go together and it's a choice that I get to once I understand. It's like Maya says, you know, when I know better do better. Right? That's what this is. Agree. So let's remove everything. You are at work and there's a new person and they come in and want to heal. And they say, I want do this. What is the first thing that you will say to them?

The first say to them is I think it really is about so you coming in and you're ready. You're saying you ready, right? You saying You ready? We're going to do one small thing, we're gonna walk slow. And I also say you are in control of what's gonna happen here. I may be I'm the coach and or also I may be the subject matter expert on stuff, but you are the Subject Matter Expert on your own body. And so what I would say to that person is don't be, I am not going to be giving you answers and telling you what to do.

We're going get connected to your intuition because you know what do, you just need I've got a movement for, I don't have a word for it. You need love, you need luck. So yeah, so if you're ready, when people are ready to rock and roll, first, we're gonna make this a safe environment. And second, You gotta know that you are the captain of your ship. you gonna be deciding where we are going. Yep. and that to me is the reason why the educational part of it I think it's also what people are sitting and waiting for because we see it.

I don't think people want to do it because it is the thing to. You want me to feel better? Yes. A year and a half ago I was told I had a brain tumor. And I have had to sit with this for a whole year. So sitting with it, Diana, and I'm sharing this with you, just sitting for this whole year has been an emotional toll. Because it's like, well, let's figure out what your next steps are. So the stress of trying to figure what the next step were with someone with ASIS. Everything, everything, And ever since I found out that it's not a brain tumor.

It's a rain hernia. I have been up walking, running, eating, doing everything because I know that eating is my source. Um, I'm not going to tell a story. Again, some pounds I did.

Living With Diagnosis, Stress, and Emotional Eating 31:25

I knew that because, again, I know about ACEs. I you know, when we get into those funks and we into situations where we're depressed or our anxiety is high or things like that. We're going to resort to what we love. Love it, love it. But I still couldn't get my mind around the fact that I had this tumor. I don't know if it's benign, I dont know, if its cancer, you know what I mean? I Don't Know, and nobody's telling me anything. But when I tell you I've lost 12 pounds all because the diagnosis changed.

Sure. That's the reason why I always start and let people know as far as the introduction to ACES, it did start from a weight loss clinic. Oh yeah. And people are like, wow, why you say that? So what you're trying to say? Well, think about it. I have to make it relatable so people can understand. What goes wrong? What's the first thing we do? Gotta eat our feelings, man. Instead of grabbing that fruit, we're going to grab chips. We're gonna McDonald's. Yup. One of all these places that's gonna help us or help feel good.

That's what resonates. I always provide an example. I hate it, but I'm a teacher. Oh, I can't help it. Have to have something that they resonate with for them to understand. Dr. Torrey, don't you think also, in our mentoring is the reality is that once you know about ACEs, it's not a done deal. It's a one and done, my friends. It is in your cellular structure. It's who you are. And I think the other thing is that we have to appreciate that as much as we'd like to be our best selves all the time, when you get hit or hit a concrete wall with a brain tumor diagnosis, it's going to throw you.

And how couldn't it? So I think that it's great. These stories are important and the mentorship is important because people need to know this is not going to be necessarily a beautiful walk. I tell people this, this work that we're doing is now for the week. And I say, when I said I make sure I emphasize not with my facial, cause you know, Diana, I know you by now I'm a little extra, not for though week because it not, it is It's not. That's just like anything, people wanting to lose the weight.

If you want to commit to doing it, do it. I feel like it's the same way when it comes to understanding if it is something you really want do, let's commit and do. For the rest of your life, it just is the way. We can't just think that I master it that's what I've seen with many, especially in weight management. when people start and that they, they look better and they're like getting all this compliments and things like that. I got this under control and then I see you a year later because it didn't go the way you thought it was going to go and you needed your food again.

You needed you food. Again. So yeah, but that's the reason why, like how we talked about earlier, things, creative writing. Yes. Cause I, linked ACES with extracurricular activity because it worked for me when I was, when i had my ACEs. I knew when was younger and I struggling to go and dance. And I love bands because surprisingly I wasn't a band. That's great. What'd you play? The alto saxophone. And people say, what? Are you serious? You play that? I'm like, yeah, I want to perform arts high school.

Let's be clear. I seriously auditioned to get in this school because the school that we were at, you know, it used to fight all the time. But that was me getting my anger out and catching the attention of family when I was younger. Of course I can tell that story because I know. but people don't get it. So when i go into schools and I see the kids that are doing the same thing, So that's why it works. It works because that awareness really can help people heal. That education can really help. People heal, but you have to know.

So, that was the reason why I asked when people are starting their healing journey, we have a lot of people that don't even want to heal know it's unfortunate. Yeah, it it, You know, I think the thing that breaks my heart when people make that decision, because they don't think they can do it or whatever comes to the mind, is that if you do have family or children, what you've done by not getting that change in the family is, that you haven't given them any freedom to see. And so we have a responsibility once we know.

to make that change and own it as well. I mean, cause I'm not perfect, you're not. Perfect. This I've had some bad days recently, but if we, if when we do make the decision, then people around us, it doesn't even have to be blood family. It's community. When people see that you are willing to do that, the community, It is a community healing, right? So to your point, I mean, there are going to be folks that just, and, you got to love on them and they're just the, they are not able to do it. Whatever that is without judgment, let them be.

But in general, when we create these communities, we can hit love each other and things, the story changes, changes. And it's going continue to change, but we control the narrative. We can, and I'm not gonna keep saying, I think we're doing it. Now, 30 years ago, you were a part of this.

Community Healing, Mentorship, and the ACEs Movement 38:15

Here it is, thirty years later, You're a partner of it, but you're apart of the Be Victorious movement. Do I get to join? I would love for you to. I thank you for being so cool. You know why? Because my best friend, We've established this wonderful relationship, me and Dr. Almond. And when I tell you, we have more in common than we actually, like, he's a transformational leader. And I'm like do you know? He was like no, do YOU know, and I was, no do YOO know! So this is where we're at at this point.

You know what I mean? Because our stories are the same, our passions are same. I never thought I would meet somebody that loves ACES more. Oh my gosh, that man is amazing. But I will tell The movement that is sparked now, I think we're catching on and people are catching the fact that we are combining communities. We are doing what we need to do. What we missed then, we can get now. And God bless Brian. I mean, he has it's been an uphill uphill, uphill battle for that man. And he never he's never given up.

He's gone through so many different chapters of this story and has been a voice for aces. But to be honest with you, I think the time now is is right. It wasn't right before. I think merging with communities of color and it's a different story. It's better story when we find the things that we are similar together. I don't think you guys know, and because you know Dr. Tory, that I am a product of ACEs. You know what I mean? I'm the product I, it's, I would love for them to know that their work is walking.

You know what I mean? Like I haven't had that chance because we've been, you know, talking. Why do you think why I found you? That's what he's been saying to me. But again, as someone who's saying I. Found you on Instagram. And I was like, Hallelujah, yay, it gave me because like I haven't known what to do with my aces. I've been on other podcasts. It didn't really people weren't like wanting it or whatever, whatever. And so I can just imagine Brian me so ecstatic but to to you need to know how excited I Was to see the work that you're doing.

Thank the lord that this is happening because it's what's, what we've needed But we're we are here brian and I dr. Fulliday. God bless him. He's still he's amazing still I mean no, no knock on his wife. Sorry If he was my baby, he looks good and i'm saying that because you gotta think about it when we were doing this, this research and we we're doing, it was passed and to making the attempts to continue to do it. I want, I told them, and I said, um, not going to hold my tongue. And I wanna be a part.

Yeah. That's what I love because it's working. People are like, people are talking about ACES globally and not hiding it at all. There are pastors. Hmm. And that was one thing that I will say, because there's still some sensitivity in faith and religion, but I can tell you, my pastor's having a conversation about ISIS. I have people that have worked with that their pastors are having conversations. So the faith, I honestly think, Diana, that's what brought us all together, I agree. And I just, I know I'm just like so psyched because Brian has been he, like I said, he's given his life to this work.

For us and for us to find our way to you and you to us is been such an amazing thing. I am so thankful that we've done that because we're here for you. Thank you And anyway, you know, if I can be of any use, let me know. What we're gonna do, because again, we have a powerful community. I've introduced a lot of people because, again I wanna continue to educate and do what I do. However, there are people out there, they're coaches that know about ACEs. There are social workers that knows about ACEs, cause remember I started in a classroom.

Educators know by ACE's, were doing trainings, He introduced me to the app. I love it. What we're going to do within the next couple of months, it's going change lives for real. This is what we need in order to take the steps because the research is valid. It's out there. There hasn't been a chance, but people like me, people that have been on this podcast, And I think that's what happens. I was, I told them on Thursday when diabetes had a campaign, it was a big deal. Everybody was talking about, everybody was out there getting their tests.

everybody, was doing this, Everybody, who's doing that because we've never had. A campaign about it. I think that ACES ambassador awareness campaign can really work because awareness is something that we really need to bring awareness to. And the people that I love, I'll love it. It's humbling to me when people of the older generation say, thank you for saving my life, just educating them on something I was educated on. Because I wanted to know what was wrong with my childhood trauma back in the day.

This was when when I tell the kids like in 1995 we didn't have WWW. HTTP. Yeah, yeah, we did. We had encyclopedias. Dr. Felitti and Dr Allman with the VHS tapes. Yep. Those interviews, the interviews with his patients, yep. So I'm doing what he has been doing for 30 years. This is an amazing thing. Just a revelation. The proof, that documentation, you guys, is enough for me to know, yeah, this has to be a conversation that has continue. And I am going to do my best with this wonderful, of course, producer of mine, because he is just as busy as left shoes, but nonetheless, we're going to do it.

He has believed in me and have met me when my aces were. So he knows my story. To say, I think this is how you get this out here, this what you do, This is our community started. This what we've been doing. And of course, you've already been a part of it, You see the wonderful people. When we jump on, We jump one. Yes, I've educated them. Yes. I trained them Yes I talked to them, but they're good and they they are bringing in their wonderful communities. When Lisa talks on Tuesday Lisa's actually in Canada.

countries out here, you know what I mean? But they are talking about ACEs. And we know that it was the second largest study in the United States, but I want them to know how global their impact really is. Because I know for a fact you all can do this. I'm saying you are we, we we. We, yeah. Yeah. Yes, We can. Do this and we are doing it.

Awareness Campaigns, Conferences, and Global Impact 46:35

Well, and just think about what can happen from this. The beauty of what could happen, Dr. Tori, when people feel seen, heard, respected, safe, we get the ramifications of that are huge. And so it blows my mind what the potential is. I think when, people are not in psychic pain, then they become better parents, they became better people, They become stronger within their communities at work. The rate of violence is reduced. I mean, Dr. Felitti actually did a, I forget where that piece of the study is, but he showed the correlation between incarceration and ACEs, right?

So when we heal the ACE's, then we heel so many different things, people become better human beings, bottom line. And so what is more important than that? Exactly. We actually had our, during our ACES International Awareness Conference, interviewed a couple. They were incarcerated when they were young, stayed together. I mean, when I'm mean poster children for ACEs, poster, children. Amanda even had children in jail. So her kids were in jail, they weren't shared their story. They have one of the be victorious foundation definitely supports their not for profit.

It's called 300 letters. Like that needs to be discussed. You know what I mean? Like they go to the, their service is going to jails, talking to their inmates, letting them know. They talk about ACEs, and I love that, of course. But there are compassion prison projects. I really want them to know that the work that they have done over the 30 years, it's out here. Yeah. Just need to identify. Unite and keep moving because I'm telling you, Compassion Prison Project is one of them. People are out in the communities.

When we were there for the awareness conference, Lisa donated her books to a women's shelter. You know, there are things that are under the ACEs. I always do my umbrella under this umbrella. that we can identify, bring awareness to, and identify those steps in order to heal. So I've, of course, if you all haven't caught on, you know that Diana is with our community. She's been with out community, she has been a part of the Victoria's Foundation supporting, She has watched us. What I love is this is what we are doing.

You guys, we're gonna make a movement out of this because again, everybody keeps saying, damn you did it so fast, You did this so quick, what's next? We have next steps. Because I've watched it, we've watch people here, and we watched more and more people. The last podcast we did with Renee was someone that I met in another group. And she didn't know about ACES, so I went through the steps, you know, with her and she learned. She was like, I'm telling you, it's an amazing thing. More people need to do it.

How can I help? So for those who are looking for ways to understand and help, go to BeVictorious.com. We have tons of information. You all are about to see a whole face change on BeVictorious dot com, seriously, because Be Victorious Foundation, there are so many people that want to connect. Where we're supporting so. Many people we just supported. Meerkat Impact is a mentorship foundation. I mentor a mentor, a lot of people. We sponsored this race, the suicide awareness race walk. And there were people, there was schools, they were organizations that came, Affirmation walls.

There are so many safe spaces that we can create. We just need to identify. we need really get out in the community and I promise there are people that are doing it, you guys. So if you did not know, we have to continue to have these conversations because these are the conversations that bring awareness to communities and empowering them to grow. and that's what we want to continue to do in order to understand that ACES, it's not anything wrong with a score, like how Diana said, It's Not a Determining Factor.

It doesn't identify or it is not an evaluation tool. What it Is, is an awareness tool, that is all it to give you some type of next steps. And we have people out here that can help you with your next step. So this is what you guys have to understand. You'll see plenty of us. This is just one episode of Be Victoria's Foundation in our work. Because Be Victoria's podcast has been an educational tool that has out here for five years. So understand you guys, this is what we need. Come have a seat at our table, come have conversation with us.

Because ACES is here, it's not the end of the world. It is just an identifying factor. One in three, 63% have score. Let's get the score, let's do what we need in order to help you heal. Diana, did you add anything you wanted to say to our community? Let us know what need to do and let them know how they can find you, because I know them, they're good. They're going to reach out to you. Right on. So I don't have a huge social media presence or footprint, but you can't find me on LinkedIn. That's a great way to connect.

I think we're connected on LinkedIn. Okay. Yeah, yeah, and then the other, I would just say with all my heart, how much I love you all and that you're not walking alone. Just know you are not alone and we are here for you and it gets better. It gets We have, of course, plenty of things going on in our communities, but our ACES Awareness Conference will be in Dallas the 9th through the 11th. Will you join us? The 9 through 11 of October. Oh, April. What? Yeah, you didn't tell me what you did. Tell me about months.

Get out of emails. You're gonna get everything. I would. Very happy to join you. That would be cool. Do you want to meet in person? Why would not? I'm gonna meet you before then. Let's be clear. No absolutely. Because we got work to do. I think it's so funny because everybody's like oh my god Dr. Torrey you're amazing. Like yeah you too let's get to work. So that's what it is. I had to put the, there are so many people that are, you know, of course, speakers that out there that advocating for ACEs.

They're like, come on, Dr. Torrey, with this date. So I have to get the date out. Of course more information will follow, but yes, we're going to stay. It's going to be great. I'm telling you last year, there were so many powerful speakers. There were some many panels, the connections is what I think solidified the community for me, because they connected and when they connect it, it was like, wow. Very good, because it was so packed that some of the speakers didn't even get a chance because they were engaged in other people's rooms.

So even some other speakers weren't able. They were supposed to speak with us like, no, I think I lost my session when I was in a session with somebody else. It's like really good. I'll work that type of thing out. i'll workout the organization of that because I had a couple of those but yes we had. Maybe Brian will join us. What do you think? That's my new best friend and he's already on his schedule. I want, I mean, we instantly clicked. I don't think it was anything disingenuine about it at all.

It was like, oh man, where have you been all my life? No. Where have YOU been? Because the commonality of everything that we have, because I really want them to know. Because I didn't hide it any other time that I'm a product of ACEs. That I advocate for ACE's. If it wasn't for me understanding ACE awareness, then I wouldn't be who I am today. they need to know that. And I shared and it's like, no, Dr. Jory, you're amazing. I'm like no I don't know if y'all know who yall are, because I think that's the reason why it is going to work this time.

and I am saying not that it didn't work last time, it did. It really did, but like you said with everything that went on around that time including the pandemic, I thing it took for the Pandemic to ignite the conversation and 30 years later, yeah let's start it. Let's get it started. That's how we click, y'all. I don't understand. OK, OK. All right, back to it. Another wonderful episode. You will see Diana again. We will be together. you guys will See us doing wonderful work in our community. So we thank you, guys, for another episode of Be Victorious.

And we'll see you guy soon. Bye bye, you.