Be VicTORIEus Ep. 97

Introduction and Book Announcement 0:00

Hey, you guys, it's me, Dr. Tori. My book is officially out. And yes, It is time to talk about ACEs. You guys can find the books everywhere. However, I would encourage you, guys to go to my website, bevictorious.com and place your order today. Yes. It's time. To talk. About ACE's. Let's go, y'all. Hello. Hello, you guys. Welcome to another episode of Be Victorious. Now, let me share. I feel like there's enough room in the mental health space for all of us African-American females to have this discussion because it's so needed.

And it was an honor to run into Dr. Worthy. When I mean Worthly Therapy, is all that in a bag of chips? It is. It was her messages that ignited that kind of let me say, let m keep sharing these posts because they brought attention not just to the space that's needed, but there's another voice that needs to be heard. And as we got to know each other online because we met on social media, I realize, I know we had something in common. She's a professor too. Clinical psychologist doing her thing at Seton Hall.

Dr. Worthy, tell us who you are. Come on into this space and have this conversation with me. Oh my goodness, thank you so much for that introduction. It's bringing a room for us and your message ignites rooms. So why wouldn't I invite you to a space where you can have this conversation that needs to be had? You're amazing. And then I didn't find this out until like three or four days ago. I'm like, ah, I knew that that was my sister. Thank you, thank you. Thank You, Dr. Tory. I'm so elated to be here and that introduction really warmed my heart.

And I think the part that really resonated with me was that there's so much space for us all. and I know we're going to get into the topic. We learned that, there is only enough for a certain group of people. Oftentimes, I used to count myself out. Like I wasn't a part of that group. So I appreciate that Introduction. Now I count you in. Yeah, count me in! I will tell you, I was on the East Coast last week. And when I tell they know about ACES, they go about Aces. It was an honor. Like red carpet rolled out.

People didn't even eat lunch because they wanted the autograph. Family Tree, the organization I did the conference with, put my book as the book for people to have for the conference and I was the featured speaker for lunch those people didn't even eat and i was like wait can we like do this a little later and the lady said no you fed us enough sit and wait so we can get an autograph andi was humble because i go in spaces where they don't know about aces and you do so tell us about you Yes. Well, as you said, I'm a licensed psychologist.

I am over here on the East Coast in New York.

Dr. Worthyu2019s Background and Professional Mission 3:40

Yeah, I'm a professor at City Hall University. I am also a clinical coordinator in their PhD program. So I enjoy that and I find myself breaking cycles there and just like being a presence, being like having representation there, right? Because there's so many of us that aren't in that space as Black psychologists. I make it a part of my mission to take up more space and to let people know that they too belong. What else? I was a former college athlete. I also bring that and I think that's when I first started to realize how much my ACEs experience shown up as an athlete, I would always want to be perfect and experience performance anxiety.

Well, not always. Every once in a while I would choke. And that was a major, like, I think that that a lot of like trying to protect myself to be safe and like I need to have the perfect move, the Perfect Pass or whatever it may be. So it was lot over thinking and I'm just happy to here because Not only am I a licensed psychologist, I'm someone who has been very vocal with my clients and with students about how hard life has be for me and I love my family. And that's one thing I hope to talk about as well, like just having empathy and compassion for them because they too were a part of the cycle.

There we go. Why you are here. So you notice and I will share this is the cycle breaker series so of course I pulled you in, because you're a cyclebreaker. However, I sent you some more questions because I didn't have me in. So let's begin, shall we? Let's talk first about ACEs so people can know. You know, I'm heavy on ACE's education. It's more or less the awareness for me. I am not a clinical psychologist. If I put it out there publicly, that's why I have you here! I don't want to have that conversation.

My job as the educator is to bring the awareness. So tell us about ACES. How did you first learn about it? Well, I would say I learned about it unknowingly. I learnt about through my experiences. When I wanted someone to check in on me, when I felt like I wasn't enough or I saw violence within my home. And I'm like, something isn't right here. Why are people coming to me as a child to comfort them? All of that. So I learned it early on. But the name, I formally learned about it through grad school.

And so part of it was like, wow, there's a name for this. I immediately felt seen and validated. Most importantly, this was something I can work through because it's so common. One of the stats that you gave me as I was completing the quiz is that 64% of people endorsed at least one symptom of. That it's a community experience, a shared experience. Yes. I knew it. Because this is what I have been pushing. Pushing for the awareness plus community will equal empowerment for everybody. But you have to know how to do that.

And that's the reason why I had people like you here. This podcast has been used worldwide as an educational tool. I'm not really interested in numbers just yet because I believe that the numbers will come. Your added value and you sharing your story, you being a cycle breaker, and knowing about ACES adds to the community. Congratulations. introduced the world to another, and I'm just keeping it honest, African-American female with ACEs that has achieved success. You are a life-breaker. Congratulations.

Thank you. How did your ACE score help you grow? You told us about a few of your experiences, but when you learned about ACE, how did that help grow you? Part of it was sitting with myself and I think therapy has been a major tool in my life. I've been with my therapist for as long as a relationship, about seven years, and we go keep going. But I think I've grown because I faced my fears, like in therapy, and I said this with my clients, it's like you're facing a mirror, you are facing yourself every time you show up.

The good, the bad, The experiences that you love, experiences you repressed because they were too much for you, right? And so I over and over again, I showed up for myself, for the little girl who didn't feel seen or felt unnoticed or feel like she had to be perfect, like felt like, she has to strong. And so learning about my ACES score and learning what ACEs means, it allowed me to console that little girl to say like I see you and that this adult person that you see before you, the psychologist and all these other like you know, accolades that I may have is like, it's still a struggle, Dr.

Tory. Like, and so just showing up every day, I think that is what is, is worth it. I even struggle coming here today, like I gotta be perfect. You don't have to remember, just be honest. And I hope that that's the message that, or one of the messages that leave is that just, be You don't have to be perfect. You are already worthy. And that's one of my messages that I give. I think that is the ultimate. Freedom is knowing that you don' have earn worth. That you are giving it. Yeah, but you could, mentor resonates.

You could tell, you can tell on social media that your messages are pure, they're sincere. They're really trying to get out here to save people. And I think that resonated to me, because I'm like, yeah, man, she real, like discussion, the conversation, something that led to that. So let's go to the beginning. The beginning, the beginning. Okay. So now we getting real. Now we hit the girl.

Learning About ACEs and Early Childhood Trauma 10:20

Let's go ahead and get it. I don't hide it, it's hard for me to share my story because people don' know about ACEs. But when you open up to people that understand ACE's and know that ACE is easier to shared. So I've been really sharing my stories recently because I have no other choice. Like me sharing that I had epilepsy. Well, a year ago, the doctors told me I had a brain tumor. So it's like, wait, hold on. Let me let people understand and know that that medical second opinion is needed, no matter who you are.

However, if we don't share, then people won't know. That's why I got to have somebody another sister to share their story because when I tell people I'm a first generation high school graduate, they do not believe me. So that's what when i come into spaces, I just go by doctors where I don't even tell. People who I am because they see the titles instead of them. Absolutely. Let's start from the beginning. This is some of my anxiety showing up and I'm going to embrace it without any shame. My first ACEs experience was witnessing I had to be a toddler.

Like my biological father abusing my mother. And that is a, I'm not really in contact with him anymore, but like that as one of my earliest experiences and I've sort of witnessed that up until I was like eight years old like not consistently, he was a violent man, it was, you know, and I love my mom for her strength of getting out of that relationship, but I also, in learning more about her as an adult, I have learned what she witnessed, right? And the abuse that took place in her home, and how, as a result of adult kiasha here, so I'm gonna go ahead and kia-sha.

it's like I could have compassion for her because I'm like, you didn't receive love, You weren't checked on, and you had to be strong. You had To be perfect. you have to Be the child out of three to have it all together. And so she raised me in that same vein, like be tough. Don't let you know, your not sick. Go to class. Good. Know what I mean? Go To school. Your not hurt. Get up, And that was also sort of the parenting style when I played basketball to get up. And so I wasn't allowed to feel. I think these girls are bullying me at school, right?

And that is another thing that I don't talk about. It's just, you know, my mom would say, oh, they're jealous of you, but like, okay. But I'm hurting. saying that to me, but I don't know what to do with that as a 12 year old, as 15 year-old, you know? And so having to figure it out on your own was my experience, right? Like having navigate friendships in which, like I was constantly repeating the cycle because I engaging in friendships where people weren't respecting me. They were emotionally neglectful.

What I mean by that, they would lie to me, They would, you know, pretend to be a person that they weren t tome. And I knew it. I remember having a friend, I was like, yeah, she's a pathological liar, but She's my friend. She the only, you know what I mean? Like it's just accepting of it. Cause I'm like, this may be the one person I have. So I'll go accept it and I will be mindful of what to tell her. Instead of getting out of the situation, I molded myself to fit in the unhealthy relationship. All right.

And so that was the beginning for me, right? And I would say like and so embracing this, would be 40 next year. God willing, and I, it wasn't until like two years ago that I really became the person that i'm proud to be like in front of you today. And so a lot of that is my willingness and perseverance and like continuing to break the cycle, continuing, to show up and, like I was telling my partner, I'm like, iIm still breaking the circle right now. Like I feel like i've got to have these perfect answers.

It's just like you got it. You know what I mean? Like trying to uplift me, but like it is, It is a daily practice. It is. And you know it. I love how you said, well, listen, I'm still going through this. Take me through that. I have three girls and let me share the breaking of the generational cycle. It really is something that we have to look into because we blame ourselves for what happened in regards to our parents and the things that were exposed to. We do. I'm telling you, I know I did. And understanding ACE has helped me understand that.

Like it's not my dad's father, he was 16, lost his mom, and they shipped him to the military. Or my mom having an abandoned mom. And that's as far as I go with their story, because to this day, as much as you can say, hey, you know, I'm turning 40, God willing, it's people out there that don't even admit that. And I think that awareness of ACEs, just the awareness, of it again, it has a time, finally, what? That is what is gonna help people say, okay, let me take the steps because I don't want this to happen to me.

I definitely don' want it to happened to my daughters. We have the conversation every day, I swear. And we don', I won't try to, but I want them to understand and know that it's real and it is out there. You've mentioned, family members, you've mentioned students, your mentor, and if you don't know, let me tell you. You got mentor radiating all through them glasses. Let's be clear. These are the stories that you have to share. How you feel? I feel good. Yeah. I'll be honest. But that's what's going to help you heal.

And I'm telling you now, I am still healing to this day. When I shared in Detroit, not Detroit because again, Detroit was in July. Shout out to Manifest Conference. I, in Baltimore, was so comfortable with the room, I had no other choice because they seriously didn't know who I was at all. The students and the people that support you really don't about your experiences, what makes you strong. You carried a shield of armor of protection on yourself based upon your childhood experiences. I want to know what led you to clinical psychology in the PhD.

These experiences, I really like from, there's something significant about the age of nine. I think for me, one, my mom remarried to my stepdad, which is a lovely guy and they have their own stuff, but he's lovely. He's been a present father figure for my, so I'm really appreciative to call him dad. But it was a major transition. So I moved from a rural area South Carolina, Black, shout out Blackville, South. And I moved to Augusta, Georgia at nine. But there was something about that time period, like I knew that I was a healer.

Before I would say I'm a helper, but my own therapist helped me like, no, you're a Healer. I know then that it was in me. So from there on, I kept saying, first I want to be a psychologist, then I said I am not too great with science. That wasn't my jam. So I, you know, because of my strength and because my mom's like forceful, like you got to be able to rely on your own, rely to support yourself throughout it, I was able to set a goal and accomplish it. That has been my life story. If I say, Imma do something, imma do it I'm a woman of my word.

And so because of that strength, and I think that's a part of the ACES too, is making space for the adverse experiences that you went through, but also how they shaped you and helped you become the person you are today, or person I am today. And so that just sort of like commitment to something led me here. It wasn't easy. I was often one of two or three black students in the class. Right. So that was another cycle that I I'm the only person in my family that has a PhD. You know, my, I think I inspired my mom to get her masters.

And so she got her master's.

Breaking Cycles Through Therapy and Self-Compassion 19:40

Um, and that felt nice. I don't know if she would ever admit that, but I'm like, you know you following your daughter but that's you knows all good. Yeah, so we were breaking cycles together. Um, but that's what led me to where I am now and get it will pursue in the PhD. And most importantly, like feeling like there was something else that I could do. Like, what does it mean to be a healer? Not just venting, I wanted to know the science behind it. I want it to learn about ACEs because I didn't have a name for it, you know what I mean?

I wouldn't learn it about generational trauma because it's so like, it is in our communities. You can walk out here in New York City, You see it as soon as you walk up. you know, like it's there in your face. So that's what led me to pursue my PhD. It was something I knew that was in my spirit from an early age. You can tell that you are making one of a kind, let me tell you. For something, I just had to get you in this seat, so I'm a first. both sides of my family to get my my doctorate degree as well.

So it's important to be the first graduate from high school, but to go through all of that, my undergrad is in psychology, surprise surprise. I don't want to beat the psychiatrist, the psychologist, I love research because as an African-American woman, i find it very hard. We have to like Prove ourself. And so instead of having, I let my facts speak for themselves. So that was it for me. Like, listen, cause I'm tired of telling y'all and it's, it it, It's worth it. Especially with me doing studies and doing research, the facts speaks for their selves.

Your, your facts, speaks four self sister girl. People are going to continue to follow you. Look at first off, look at who you are. You know all of this. This was me getting to know you and having a seat at the table. Look at all the stuff I learned. I knew you was a star. Go as far as researching to see that you were a basketball player. That your message resonates to me and that lets me know that your a healer, that let's me people are going to listen to you. Another person that knows about ACEs, another person has an ACE score, another person that is sharing their story.

Yeah, we have to do this because it's more of us out here. And if we don't, then they won't. Help me on that one. Yes. You know what? Years ago, it would have pained me to receive all of the love that you're giving me right now and just the praise and that is a part of breaking the cycle to know that I'm deserving of it. So thank you so much. And I am fully embracing it, yes. And this is the reason why people love me so much. I had to embrace that too. And I actually did not give myself this name at all.

My name is Tori, seriously. But the Dr. Victorious came because I was the first and this was what was given to me. So it was like, I create victory others for real? Okay, well let me prove it. Let me do this. and I'm humbled. my producer is my long time best friend in the whole wide world. He cannot stand me now I am playing. he loves me the best. but he believed in me from the beginning and here we are 90 plus episodes later and there are people that are sharing their story. You are a boss, a queen, all of that.

What's wrong with us having the same, being in the space and sharing? It's more pressured for us to get together for people to understand that we're working as a community and we working No, do y'all know who she is? I do, I now. And that's the reason why we have this, it's an educational podcast. This is another chance for the world to get to know, who you are. In your story is going to resonate with so many people, not just experiencing your aces, but you're an athlete, which is interesting. Here at the Brixton League, we even had a whole bunch of athletes.

Former NFL basketball, football basketball. They've been on this podcast, trust me and believe me. And it's the fact that we all have the same commonality, which is Asus. And I need you. You gotta help me spread this awareness. I'm always going to share or tag or do those things because your message seriously resonates with me. So listen, let's dig in some more because again, of course, I understand this, but you empower so many people yourself. Tell us how you do it. In what ways do you power others?

Your family members, your students, tell us. How do you do it? How long do I do? I, you know, I may be saying the same thing, but I think consistency is everything is like just showing up. Yep. Showing up and one thing you pointed out is just like being willing to share, to talk about the hard stuff and being to pull back the layers. Being willing be vulnerable is how I show strength, not by burning myself out. And that's what I try to model, even with my family. I can't break the cycle for you.

That's a big thing that I had to learn. I cannot break that cycle. how their life could shift in a positive way and they could feel more at peace, I cannot do it for them. And so the way that I share with my family or to help them break the cycle is just by being me and being that model. A lot of the feedback that have been receiving, especially from my mom, she's like, you just seem so much at piece. I'm like cause I am. You know what I mean? I don't have to respond to everything I didn't like.

I know there's you dealing with your cycle. You know what I mean? Like, this is you, right? I can come in and give you feedback and be honest. And so I set limits with them as well. I cannot do it for them.I can be supportive, offer advice, and I could set a limit. With my students, I show up by showing them who you see today, not feeling like I need to hit them with all the psychological jargon to help a client. just be here for them listen be interested be a person you know that is where really healing starts like that connection that you gave to me that.

You continue to give to Dr. Tory has helped me like feel comfortable like every minute of this dog in my pocket I'm just like wow I feel so seen and I felt so supported and comforted and like. That is how you. break the cycle, but that is also how I've been modeling it for them. Just be yourself. Be honest. And that's what helped me show up today. It's just like, this is my story. That's why people are gravitating, more people want to gravitate toward you. Why don't you accept it? This wasn't a session for you.

This was supposed to be a section for me, but you got to accept that. And I'll be honest, imposter syndrome is real for people like us because of our ACEs. It has taken me a long time. I didn't used to share the, when I put up Dr. Victoria's, it was like, okay. Okay, but then I started to embrace it like, yeah I do do this. And then, I get out these victory songs that come out and then it's like when I'm a brand, so I wear my Be Victorious everywhere. Again, on Represent Manifest because ManiFest has helped me get the study out with the African-American men that are so needed.

I am working in communities, working with people, helping people heal just by being my authentic self and showing up. Like how you said, showing is the key. You also say something so valuable. You listen. We don't listen to nobody these days, but you do. That's why your students, that's your family listen you.

Family History, Identity, and Healing Strategies 28:20

Now you mentioned family. Do you have siblings? I'm a part of a blended family. It's very, like, complicated. Like, my biological dad has a bunch of kids who I am not in contact with or I don't really know at all. But I do have step siblings, so it is... six of us all together within that blended family. So we have a huge and it's a lot of baby mamas. Everybody is, you know, hopefully nobody sees, nobody feels scared. Listen, and even if they do, they got to honor it. You know what I mean? Yes. that we still hide within our families, you know, especially, it's the holiday season.

And I had put up a post, this man was singing, if you telling your girl to go change her clothes, then maybe the uncle don't need to be invited to the house. Well, This is the thing, we don' have those conversations. So you even sharing that you're in a blended family, what's wrong with that? It's okay. We can't be mad about these type of things. And how we're going to address and break the generational cycle is bringing awareness. We're not saying it's not OK. What we are saying is it is normalized, and we have to bring awareness to it.

And I'm going leave it at that, because I haven't even started talking about my family. In my book, I talk about how my grandfather was a preacher, but my grandmother got married eight times, so no shame. or that you can't tell me about your blended family. And I love him to death, may he rest in peace. Married eight times, pastor. So when people used to make fun of me growing up, everybody your cousin know for real. Everybody is nice. So I did it. I say, I get it and you just don't understand. And I think that's the push for me and ACE's awareness is because I can't share those things.

How are we laughing about it? Like for real, it's funny as hell because it is not just my family. It happens, but we don' talk about. it I used to call him grand pimp cause I thought it was cool. He was, you know what I mean? This is my grandpimp. We got married eight times and I understanding aces and having that conversation with him. I asked him, I was like, what was up grandpa? Like what's up? And he was, like honestly, i wasn't marrying eight times. i was trying to find the right person to help take care of my kids.

And it makes sense to me because we're talking about back in the day, we talk about grandpapa. Yeah, that makes Mm-mm. So we could laugh and joke about these type of things. And then 2025, everybody ain't baby mamas. However, yeah, I get it. When I tell you I did it, we got to share these stories. Because if we don't share any stories, just imagine me, and I'll tell, you this, getting into it with people that were my cousins. because growing up back in the 80s and 90s, oh, no, that black don't cry.

Oh, I couldn't do Crips and Blood. So you come on my blog, what up cuz what kind of people. Just imagine then you finding out you go into the parent teacher conference. And it's really a no, that's your cousin for real. This is normalized in our community. We have to have this conversation. Because when we don't have the conversation, it creates shame, right? Which is why like you even picked up on it, like, you struggle with imposterism. You know, something I'm working through, Right? Like, I promise you I just think you're really truly amazing.

And you see some people and people say it all the time. I will give you an example. When I went to Baltimore, people were walking up to one of my mentees. I have a huge mentorship. And one of the young ladies came up to my mentee. She's a grown woman, married, three kids, dog, partridge, and a pear tree. And they were like, I found her on social media. I have been to Baltimore three times. It's putting to rest the shame. and supporting, being consistent, listening, and being there for your community.

You community, period. From day one, I was like, like your post, boom. And then the next time I was like, very good, next, we have to do that for each other. We have too. So yeah, I ain't trying to ruin, you know. I don't mind being seen. You know, part of breaking the cycle is working through that discomfort. I want you to help me, because it's not up to me. And you already have the tools needed. You talked about your ACES score. you know about ACEs, you have a story. We need you, to continue to do what you're doing and think about it.

And I think a part of it too is like, once you lived it and you are healing from it, because I feel healing is a lifetime, then it becomes second nature, especially when you have the right intentions for people. And just like what you're talking about, it's all about community. It's about sharing your story. and making those connections and people starting to feel seen, which is why I'm so appreciative of being on this podcast and like just love the work that you're doing because you are showing people who are struggling, who feels like there's no way out or feel like it's going to be too tough or too rough, whatever it may be, like that is possible.

As you mentioned, NFL players, NBA players athletes, professionals, we all showing up and we're still going through it. It was tough. We have a story, but If you're in pain, that means healing is possible. Yep. And I agree with you 110%. So you have to share with us some of your healing strategies, because I know they want to know. How do you heal? Yeah, yeah, the biggest one for me is my faith in God. I think it's something that I've had to restore, repair. because of my, I identify as a lesbian.

And so that was hard for me. Like I grew up in the church, or I grow up Baptist. Once I accepted that I like women, that love women that, love my partner, um, started to feel shame. I started, it went back into like everything the cycle taught me like, nah, you gotta hide this. You gotta keep it a secret. you can't share with other people. Then once I did share it with my family, I got backlash. Right. It was unaccepted. I felt alone. And again, like I'm saying two years with me being who I am today, but I was saying just a few months ago, I feel really strong in my faith.

who I am is enough and that God has made me in his image. And that wherever he's facing, even just showing up for like here today, I feel like I'm getting emotional. Like he has prepared me for every space, every room, and immediately helps me just like feel more at peace and feel calm and feeling deserving of it all. So that is the biggest thing for me. Of course I love my therapist. I'm going like, I've given her so many referrals like you come come see her. No, she's good. She's got you know the really like I love her I loved her patience, i love that she challenges me when I want to give up that Embraces me when I'm around going through a horrible breakup years ago and this woman stayed on the phone with me for two hours.

Usually I was going to see her in person. I needed to talk. And there was one session that I cried in her office for 2 hours, and she just like held the space for me and. That is, I don't know, like I never experienced that, just letting loose because I think a part of being in that cycle is we feel like we got to hold it all in, right? And we're so afraid of talking about it because we just feel we can't take it. It's going to be too overwhelming. I dunno if I'm ever going be myself again if i let the feelings surface, you know?

That God my faith and God therapy exercise has been another thing that you know I told you I was a former athlete I played in college as well. And so, getting back into exercise, has really building that consistency has helped me. What else? And just like having a routine, I think children and even adults, we need routine. We need to know like what is predictable. What can I anticipate next and not out of fear, but out a preparedness, right? So having your routine having structured day to day. So I see my clients are between sessions.

I go to the gym, you know, and making space for loved ones. Right. You know. And that's another thing is like the, the aces impacted me, it's like being very avoided. I don't feel like doing that. And I had to reach out to this person again, I want to hang out, but I would rather be in here and it was like, nope, you gotta show up for people because these people show for you. So making that commitment, so I'm gonna talk to John for an hour today and I love that man, that's one of my best friends.

Imma talk my friend Malika, she always supports me. like breaking the cycle with my partner, right? Like her and I both are breaking cycles together. So it's like, I know we both don't avoid it, but let's talk. You know what I mean? But you're being intentional. And that is, that's it. We have to be intentional I'm old school. I'll say it again.

Community, Representation, and Closing Remarks 39:20

Yeah, and I love it. What I mean, love, I Iove it, but people get mad when you don't even call it text. And it's like, listen, y'all, you got to understand generational understanding. I'm not a texter. But I won't leave you on read on accident and then yall get and it is like I am not trying. I just pop from a nap. I'm taking naps at 48. Let's be clear. When I get it, that's the reason why I ask. You have to have some type of healing strategy. Love to hear that you are still in the gym. That's your strength.

And I know you know that. What I love from the get go is you saying your faith in God. And I, again, my grandfather is a preacher, so I'm a PGK, you know, the PG K. I had to go to God and say, listen, trust is out the door for me, I don't trust nobody. When he said, all right, give me another shot, that's when I stepped out on faith. That's been doing this since 2023, like left my job, left everything, did what I needed to do, and I love working for myself. It's great. I get to meet wonderful people like you, but it's the trust in God that helps me heal because going through so much.

I had no other choice. Like, if I can't trust him, who can I trust? So I put it everywhere. If I'm faith-based, I don't hide it. Tomorrow, we're going to be 20 deep at church. Let's be clear. Dallas, Texas, Brian Carter, the whole entire church family. It's a huge church, but if you want to do your work and you'll want your works to speak for you, then do what you need to Because God has shown me. Yeah, you want me to trust you. All right, let me give you some examples. I don't play when it comes to him, because, like how you said, You gave him another chance just like he gave you another chain.

I'm honored to have you in this seat. I think this is the beginning of a great, great partnership, collaborations, everything, because you know what you're talking about. You know, what are you doing. I got to come over there anyway. Shout out to my line. My line sister is at Rutgers University. So let me. Okay. Here she was me out there for a sorority. I'm a Delta. Me too. Are you serious? and i didn't even know that this is it this happens every time i always choose the ones that i know i had no clue i have no cool either spring 98 love it's represented i'm old i've been i been retired since i got that 25 year plaque let's be clear I'm having issues.

Now I am not going to say have issues I have three girls and I had one. And so she's in college like mommy I like listen and i'm sorry you grew up a legacy I can't do nothing about it. At the end of the day, all the. roots, the traditions, all of that, that was instilled, first generation high school graduate, Delta, All of That has shaped me for real. And so I knew it, there's another connection. I didn't connect, we didn' connect so much on this podcast, I'm telling you the community is going to love you because we have plenty of people in the community that you can definitely connect with.

There's doctors, lawyers, psychologists, therapists, social workers. The person I went to in Baltimore, it was so many social work. They're the Baltimore school district. I mean, there was, so, many people and I know for a fact they're going to call me back to the East Coast because it, was that real. and I can't do it without you. Come join me because it's enough room at the table for us. So I'm going to say, let's pause here because not only did you share your ACEs score, not did only you did share you story, and talk about your parents, you talked about you partner.

Not only that you shared your story You opened up in a space and we learn so much about each other. This is the reason why this podcast is what it is. They're using this in classrooms. So people can be seen. So, people could understand that their story is real and that they're not alone in their journey. I want to thank you. So let me let you know, let the world know where to find you because again I want to lie and I'm gonna go ahead and put it out here. We have an ACES awareness conference, the second year we shut down Chicago.

But we're going to show on Detroit this year. So I have to extend that invite. Get ready to get your speech, your presentation together. I am doing, it was so much power in that room. After seeing so many cycle breakers, I had to shout out Sheree because her episode just came out. And I just have shoutout the people whose episodes, all of these people are people that I recently met that will be huge for the conference. Thank you, thank you. And find you you can find me on social media at Worthy Therapy.

You can also go to worthytherapy dot com like you, Dr. Victoria's. I took a leap in, what was it, 2022 and became my own business owner, right? So I own my private practice and I do a lot of hustling. That's a part of the business, like consultancy, teaching as an adjunct professor, being a clinical coordinator. And so I'm out here. You can find me invisible. Yeah. I didn't know. So now that I'm independent, Oh, I could call you real quick because it's work out here. Trust. Thank you. Right? Well, y'all know where to find me, you guys.

I'm everywhere. Haven't been doing well in some spaces, but nonetheless, ya'll will find somewhere, somehow, some way. And I am going to be there to continue to educate you, guys, about ACEs. Another wonderful episode. Thank you Dr. Worthy for gracing me with your presence and sharing your story. You will hear from both of us very soon. Talk to you later. Bye bye you guys.