Betrayal and the Brain
3 months ago
- Betrayal Is a Unique Trauma – Unlike grief from death or natural disasters, betrayal shatters a person’s identity and their ability to trust themselves. It disrupts their worldview, internal safety, and sense of reality. Dr. Debbie Silber explains that betrayal trauma doesn’t just create emotional pain—it impacts identity, trust in self and others, nervous system regulation, and even immune and digestive function. Because the trauma strikes at the core of self-trust, traditional treatment approaches often fail to fully resolve persistent symptoms.
- Post-Betrayal Syndrome (PBS) Is Real – Through her PhD research, Dr. Silber identified a predictable cluster of physical and emotional symptoms she calls Post-Betrayal Syndrome. Physically, 45% of betrayed individuals experience digestive issues, 63% report extreme fatigue, and 68% struggle with sleep disturbances. Emotionally, 84% experience an inability to trust and 80% report hypervigilance. When practitioners encounter resistant cases—patients whose labs won’t improve or who don’t respond to protocols—unhealed betrayal may be the underlying driver.
- The 5 Stages of Healing Are Predictable – Healing from betrayal follows a structured progression. Stage 1, The Setup, is marked by over-functioning and focusing on doing rather than being. Stage 2, The Shattering (D-Day), is the discovery moment when the body, identity, and worldview break down. Stage 3, Survival Mode—the “Trap Stage”—is where many get stuck, feeling better than Stage 2 but relying on numbing behaviors like food, alcohol, or work. Stage 4, New Worldview, involves grieving what was lost and intentionally rebuilding identity. Finally, Stage 5, Rebirth, is when physiological healing occurs, self-trust is restored, and a new life is established. Dr. Silber emphasizes that effective care requires identifying which stage a patient is in—otherwise interventions may miss the mark.
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