Daily Self-Care For Enhanced Fertility

Introduction and guest background 0:00

Welcome back to the Super Fertility Summit. I'm so happy that you're here with me for this interview. We have an incredible speaker who also happens to be an incredible friend. Danika Brysha, you are here with us as America's leading self-care expert and the founder of Self-care society, which I know we're going to get to tell people about in the course of our conversation. You're a three times wellness entrepreneur, former plus size fashion model, host of the podcast and YouTube series, Your Morning Mindset Practice, and you have two super baby girls and it's such a pleasure to have you here.

I'm so honored to have you here. You're really kind of still in maternity leave mode with super baby girl Sunny Sloan, but taking the time to be here for the Super Fertility Summit. Thank you so much. thank you for having me. It is always my pleasure to talk about, the magic that I have been gifted through your program and our fertility journey and watching my girls now, I mean, it's the. It's just incredible what you do. And, the more people that can hear about it, the better. Thank you so much, Danika .

And I'm really excited for people to hear about what you do at Self-care society, because it's so important. And I think self-care is a really big buzzword. But the lived experience of self-care is a whole other animal, and it's something that you've really perfected. So I can't wait for you to share your craft and your art and your real life devotion to self-care. Even as a relatively new mama with two super baby girls, two years old and six months old and just under six months old, and I would love to start by asking you to think to the end of this interview, what do you hope that, mom or dad, that parent of any and all genders, leaves remembering today?

Something that I have to hear regularly too. And I'm by no means perfect, and it's just this reminder that the more we can fill our cup and it doesn't have to take hours and hours, but just caring for ourselves, even if it's a five minute practice each day, benefits our children deeply. And I know the pull of like, wanting to be as present as possible and and to give as much as possible, but I'm so much more able to give and give quality, when I care for myself. And so just the importance of self-care and that self-care is not something we do

Self-care as a daily practice 2:51

once in a while, it's a we need to find a way to make it accessible so that it can happen on a consistent daily basis. The same way we work out daily, the same way we sleep daily. That is so important and beautiful. And you said something really important, which is that we all need this reminder, even when we are the experts ourselves, that it's easier to pour when our cup is full and even more critical. You said it doesn't have to be something that takes hours. It can be a practice that fills us up.

That's just five minutes long. And I want to really underscore that because there are a lot of people listening to us who want to have their first super baby, and there are as many people listening to us who are here because they're having difficulty having a second or third subsequent super baby or baby, and they want to have their super baby. And what I think is really important about that is that for that group of people, it can be easy to feel like I don't have all the time that I used to have before having my first child to take care of myself, to pour into my fertility, to prepare for my pregnancy.

But you're here to say, as somebody who especially rises in self-care and has two young children, that you can take care of yourself and you don't have to have hours to do it. Can you talk about how your self-care and maybe even your prime mastering has shifted from mastering for your first super baby versus prime mastering for your second super baby, and how you've changed in your practice of self-care. Because I think that's something that people don't talk about enough, for sure. And I smile when you ask that because I, you know, I reflect back to when I was single, living alone in New York, and I just felt like I was so busy all the time.

And then I was like, oh, they had no time. And now you reflect, you know, I have an exclusively breastfeeding, five month old, a two year old, you know, and it's just a totally different dance. and so, yeah, it has changed. The Primester set me up with some with the habits, I think, that have been, that I that have carried me. Right. Because at the end of the day, we only have as much energy as the way that we care for ourselves. Right? Coming back to self-care. So the way that I eat and the way that I sleep, which is because I probably woke up eight times last night like, you know, and so it's not going to be perfect.

And there's a piece of this where it's like, yes, it does matter what you're, how you're sleeping, how you're eating, how you're moving. This is really important. And then there's the other piece of it, which is, are you being gentle with yourself? Are you checking in with your emotional and mental well-being, those two sides of things. And so for the second sort of baby now and having two, you just don't have the you're not you're not sitting down. Right. Like you're not I'm not getting a lot of dedicated journaling time or meditation time or anything like that.

So I think there's a there's a big aspect of leaning on others. Right. And I know that not everyone is fortunate to have a partner or, you know, not fortunate, but and I know everyone has a partner or family to help. Not everyone has caregivers to help. However, wherever you can find support or wherever you can include your children in, like I mean, as simple as stroller walks, right? Like that requires no caregiver for me. I can pop the kids in the stroller and they're pretty happy because they're out and about and I can just walk, right.

My little my my toddler will stand with me while I do, you know, an exercise video and pick up the little weights and stuff too. So things like that. And really weaving that into your day to day life, which I think is something new. I learned in the Primester what I did in the Primester for the, you know, year before we had our first all turned into habit. So now it doesn't take so much effort. And as a result, I have so much more energy to care for my little ones and myself because of the way I, I have set that foundation from the Primester.

It's so beautiful. And one thing that you talk about a lot is how do we bridge the gap between knowing that something's good for us, like knowing that we need to carve out time to care for ourselves and actually doing it, and doing and doing it in such a way that it makes sense for us personally

Building sustainable habits and accountability 7:22

so that it can become sustainable to talk to us about how you bridge the gap and how you make it sustainable, so that it actually has an impact. Yeah, this is one of the reasons that I cover the main reason that I created Self-care society. because I did a tour in 2018, we, my partner and I went around the country. We did 66 events for women around self-care, work with thousands of women. And that tour was inspired because I had created a tool called the Self-care checklist, which I'll share with you because I think this is a really important, very simple, anyone can do it resource that you can make your own.

And I'll tell you, it was I just made a list of the things that helped me get to the end of the day and not binge eat, because that was the way I was dealing with the stresses of life at the time. I was struggling with binge eating and I'm talking like 10,000 calories in a sitting, like, like, you know, addiction, all of that. And so, this was, you know, over a decade ago and I remember thinking, how do I get to the end of the day and not binge? And I just made this checklist that was like a certain amount of sleep taking the time to journal.

you know, a couple self-care things. And I found that by the end of the day, just the simple act of the accountability of checking off these things, right day after day, I would realize, oh, wow, I have I haven't binge today. Right? And what I realized was how powerful this little tool was to hold me accountable to what matter. And so this self-care checklist evolved over time. And that's really what we help people cultivate, on the tour. But it evolved into a lot of the mindset work that you'll find in the Prime Minister.

Right. Like the, the, the, the mindset that, you know, you want to have as you go down this journey. And I know it can be hard, but it helps you stay accountable to the affirmations that you want to believe every day. Right? The gratitude practice that you want to be doing, all these little steps. And so this tool for me has been this gives me pivotal. Now I use, a technology called the sauna to really use as kind of like a checklist throughout my day. I love how automated it is. So I have all of my self-care items automated for me to repeat at whatever frequency I want to repeat them, and I give them the same as importance as I do showing up to a call or an interview, right?

Like it's there if my life is not like work personal, you know, like it's all together, right? I had the same 24 hours to share these important things. And that's a, that's a really helps me. And that's why we created Self-care society because I wanted to help people show up and an easy format to practice their mindset, to exercise their mindset every day. And so we do classes that are sort of journaling based, really reflecting, right. Like, how am I feeling? How do I want this week to be maybe different than the last?

What am I thankful for? Where am I going right. This is self-care. So when we think about self-care, it's it's a little bit tough because the term is vague to a lot of people. It's like, well, it's bubble baths, nails. What about getting your nails done? Whatever. And that's great. But to me, self-care at its core is checking in with yourself. And I really believe that a great life is just a series of great days. And when we think about creating a great life, that's really overwhelming, right? when I was getting sober and I would be in the recovery rooms, a big part of big dialog there is like, take it one day at a time, take it one hour at a time.

And so I really bring this philosophy into my life, into my self-care, into self-care society of like, what does it take to create a great day and especially with your fertility, right. Like, what does it take? What do I need to do in the day to add up to this collective, like beautiful vibrancy in my fertility, right. Because the whole thing can be really overwhelming. But if you can say, okay, what does it take in the day, which you get so many tools in the Prime Minister to say? And I took the Prime Minister when I did the Prime Minister, I made my own checklist. Right.

I added these elements in the same way I was referring to self-care. And it was like, what are these little things that I can just focus on doing each day? Well, I can focus on doing, you know, 15 minutes of hit of strength training this many days a week, whatever. That's easy. Focusing on doing it in the big picture can feel hard. So my point being is take. I'm really big on micro habits and looking at the day and saying, let me just look at the day in front of me. What is the equation? What is the recipe for a great day for me, for a healthy day for me, for, an epic fertility day for me.

And can I stack enough of those next to each other that they add up to the results I desire? Oh my God, I want to. Can you say that one more time? let me try to. Oh my God, I'm not. I have such goosebumps. I like on so many levels. I love you, everybody. this woman I love, and also what you've said is so important because you said a great life is just a series of great days. And the same thing is true of a fertile life. A fertile life is a series of fertile days. And it turns out that what makes fertile days and a fertile life.

Yes, it's about egg quality and a bit about egg quantity, and about the uterine lining and hormonal balance and all of these things that everyone is focused on. And yet at the root of all of that is our our, what we call the psychosexual level of the fertility and pregnancy pyramid. But it's really our thoughts. It's the ability to experience positive emotion and to express positive emotion and positive feelings and the ability to bounce back quickly from negative emotion, to be resilient to the ups

Trusting yourself through fertility challenges 13:02

and downs of day to day life and the stresses of the modern world. And to me, it is so profound that you have in in your wisdom and brilliance this recognition that if I can just make it, turn it into a manageable checklist that I can achieve each day, I get to stack up those good, fertile days into a good, fertile life. And you did you you did that with your self-care checklist. And then you came in and you did that with the Prime Minister protocol, which was so amazing, mind blowing. And and it lives in the Prime Minister protocol.

It is a part of the Prime Minister protocol now so that it blesses thousands of others. So thank you so much for that. And the the last thing you said is what's the what's the equation, the recipe for me. So talk a little bit about what are you in your mind. What's the equation. The recipe for a woman who's been struggling to get pregnant or stay pregnant. And how can she continue to be focused on this is hard. It's a hard question. There's no easy answer. But to be focused on feeling good and having a beautiful life in the process and path to getting to her super baby.

Yeah, I love that question. And like you said, everyone's unique and there's no perfect way or perfect prescription for that. Right. And so I think what I'll, what I'll and the way that I'll answer that is with like one of the things that I foundationally believe after working with so many people on this for so many years, and that is that our answers are inside of us and we often just don't create the space to listen. And so what I'm passionate about and what we do through self-care society as well, is like create the space to go inward and ask yourself that question.

Right. And I'm not trying to cop out and not answer the question. Right. Because like, but I do feel like we've grown. We've we've all kind of come up in this time where we've been told that we have to get our answers outside of us and that everyone else knows better and no one knows better of how to take care of you than you. And so I always say, seek inspiration outside yourself, but seek answers within inspiration. Outside inspiration is amazing. You're here right now. The amount of ideas and energy that you're getting from these summit spots in this experience is incredibly powerful and invaluable, and then you get to take it and digest it and say, what works for me?

What stood out to me and trust that. And there's like a strengthening of that self-trust muscle that is really important and only comes with practice. And so I'll answer it that way. And then I'll also answer for me personally, when we were trying to have our, first baby, we, trimester probably for about a year. I mean, my AMH levels were not I mean, there was some fast dating results as, as a result of it. And then for us it did take about seven and took about seven months. My partner didn't really prime minister fully, so I'm going to blame it on him. but.

We love you, dad. Billy. Whatever. and we were actually going into, start the process of raising embryos because we knew we want to have a big family and had someone get me to it. And literally the day before we had the appointment to actually start the process, we found out that we were expecting, so that one, six, seven months and then, actually the second one happened fast. First child, those child. so so I say that because, there was just sort of like it was our own journey. And I remember through that, that that seven month period, it's like I had a feeling it was.

And so I really I just want to pause and say, I know that seven months is not a long time. And many people have been trying for years and a decade or more. Right. but through that time, and I know that it can be there's a like it's just you can like there's a hopelessness. And I think that caring for myself and coming back to not so being so focused on the how things were going to happen, but really that this is my vision and this is where I want to be. And, you know, listening to my vivid vision and writing my future biographies and my future journal entries and a lot of that mindset stuff, and staying in gratitude, right.

Like it's to be able to stay in gratitude for all you have and want to move forward and evolve. Expand is like this. It's this beautiful dance that can be hard to find. But when you find that you're like, yes. And to find a sense of gratitude within the struggle and the challenge. Right. and to be gentle with yourself, like, I remember reaching out to Leo doing the Prime Minister, I was like, we're just not doing it perfectly, you know? And I just, I was I was like, I have this direct line to a pattern that many people don't.

And she's reminding me as a friend, this doesn't have to be perfect. And it doesn't, and it works. And this 80, 20 or 60, 60, 40, whatever it is, it's still matters. The little bits matter. So if you're if today, all you've got is getting outside and getting some sunlight in your eyes, then like, great, you did that thing. And I think that's why I like the micro habits is because if you're if that's your personality, like it is mine, you get to check that often. Feel like, yeah, like I did something right.

And so just coming back to yourself is really, in summary, coming back to yourself, asking yourself what serves me and paying attention how you feel. Right? Because all of our goals in life are based on how we think we'll feel when we achieve them, and our goal should be based on how do I want to feel right. And so if having a baby and having a family, what makes you want to you want to feel it. It'll bring you a certain feeling. How else can you feel that feeling right now in the journey as you go there?

How can I feel loved? How can I feel valuable? How can I feel vibrant right now? Today, and where I'm going? That is so, so beautiful. Thank you so much for the things that you shared. I feel like you're speaking to the soul of so many people. Thank you for that. I was wondering in your mind if somebody could only do one thing to take care of their fertility and their future super babies? What's that one thing in your mind. That I say to do the Prime Minister, is that it's. Not ours? I love that. I mean, that is true.

That is true. Yeah. And, and and even more specifically. I mean, there's like so many nuggets and I will say, I am someone who believes deeply in the power of of food. I previously owned a meal delivery service that was like a healthy meal delivery. So changing how I eat changed my life. So I'll say like the food and alcohol piece for sure. But this other thing that really stands out is that the how I've learned through you, how just tracking my cycle and and not just like like to like a very deep in a very detailed way.

And I think that's been a really a gift that I've gotten better at over time. And yes, that's really helped me more than anything. I mean, yes, infertility, but even understanding my body

Cycle tracking, partners, and fertility tools 20:38

so that just the way that you taught me how to track my cycle and the different elements and then some of the tools that are out there today, I don't know if I can name anything specifically, but the tools that measure different levels and all of that, you can. Absolutely. You can you can name. And in fact, Mira is one of our sponsored because, you know, because, you know, we love and are obsessed with the mirror fertility monitor and the get pregnant and no time formula, which is step two of the prime master protocol is what you're referring to that teaches you how to use that tool to understand your cycle and your most fertile days, and the dance of your hormones in a way that is not available anywhere else in the world.

And that alone is an amazing gift. Mira Mira has been instrumental in and I, I couldn't utilize it as well as I did without the what I learned in the Prime Minister. But it has been an instrumental school, especially the second time around because there's been evolution to their there. Yes. And technology in all this time. And every time I look I'm like, oh my gosh, there's more and more there is. This is yes, plug them because it's been incredible for me to just be aware of that stuff. It just really, I think helps you get your timing more aligned and all that.

And then also, of course, if you have a partner involving them as much as possible in this work, because they're a big part of it. Right, like. Oh, beautiful. And you know, you know, so. Yes, involving your partner. And I always say this and we'll say it again, that the partner is at least 50% the person providing sperm, whether that's your partner or not, your partner is at least 50% of the equation and in some cases more than 50%, which is really surprising to people. So thank you for saying that. So really okay.

Number one thing is to prime matter because it encompasses all of this. And then even within that the food, the things that we're getting were moving out of our lives. And the really detailed, amazing way that we track our cycles in our most fertile days through the Get Pregnant in No time formula, which is part of the Prime Minister protocol, and then involving our partners as much if we have a partner as much as possible, as much as we want them to be involved, and as much as they're willing and able to be involved, and it doesn't have to be perfect on their side or on your side.

So thank you for all of those amazing, amazing reminders and and pieces of information. The last thing I, the last thing I want to ask you today is what is super fertility mean to you? What does it look like? What does it feel like? I mean, oh man, like I'm lucky I've had the gift of knowing you now for, I guess four years maybe. And you get more vibrant and beautiful. And I'm not just saying physically. Right. Like, energetic. Every time I see this woman. And I'm not here to just like, you know, but my point is that the fertility is not just about having children, and it's not just about passing along amazing materials to your even your grandchildren and future generations, which is fascinating and true, but it's also about longevity, right?

So if you're not just when you when you take action on your fertility and the quality, like there's sort of it's like preventative medicine, right? And I think that this is such a, to be honest, it's in like a sort of profound topic that many people don't think of. It's really just about let me get pregnant and let me try and be healthy while I'm pregnant and let me. And you know what?

Super fertility, longevity, and closing reflections 24:18

I love that, right? But this idea that we can make positive change and big positive change leading up to it, and that we should care for our fertility before we try and get pregnant is like actually a really new concept to most people. It was something I hadn't really even thought of until I met you. And so I think this is really important, right? Is like this lead up to to it is is so powerful. And so to me it's super fertility. It's, it's you do this yes for this process, but it's the tools and the tips and the lifestyle and the habits that I got through the trimester are now, whether we have more children or not are tools that contribute to my life, longevity and vitality and ultimately the kind of mother I am to my children and the kind of person I am to the world for the rest of my life.

Because if you think about it, fertility is really sort of just. And this is a simplification for someone who's not a doctor, but, PhD like, but really it's, it's about, it's slowing things down. Right? It's slowing down aging. We're looking at like so much of what you're doing. And so yeah, of course that contributes to your longevity in your health and how you feel. So it's just been one of those things where you off? I think you go into it for a specific reason in front of you. I want to grow my family.

I want to have a family. And then you come out of it realizing, wow, these tools I get to carry with me for my whole life, and I could never have put a price tag on on this, on this shift, because every day that I'm to make these self-care choices imperfectly, one day at a time, in an accessible way, every day that I do that, I get to just be a little bit more present and engaged and joyous in my life. And again, a joyous present, engaged life is just that series of of those days. Right. And so, it's been such a gift to bring this work now into raising my kids.

And I get to be energetic and present, with them and, and in my work and in everything that I do. So beautiful. And I'm crying because I know and love her. Two super baby girls and just seeing the the impact and the the light in them is so beautiful and powerful to thank you so much for being here. And I was as you were talking, I was thinking that a joyous, present, engaged life is a super fertile life. All right. So beautiful. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so grateful and honored to have you here.

Thank you so much for having me. And good luck. to everyone here. Thanks for joining. Thank you. And thank you so much for listening, and I'll see you in the next interview. I hope that you've been blessed by this interview. Thanks for being here with us.