From Fear to Confidence: The Decision Framework That Changes Everything | Julee Gracey | Ep. 126

Farm upbringing and early confidence 0:00

We had 200 head of cattle. I found a raccoon one time. You didn't eat the raccoons though. No, we didn' eat racoons. Just cows. We didn do that. But I have had turtle though, I've had alligator, frog legs. And I think I even had squirrel one-time. Oh boy. What about squirrel? I'm pretty sure I tasted it one times. It was just like chicken. Aw man, poor little squirrel. Today we have Julie Gracie. Alright, Julie. From international modeling to becoming a global business strategist, today's guest is Julie Gracie, keynote speaker, bestselling author, and founder of Go Digital Marketing Co.

She helps entrepreneurs turn confidence into serious business growth. What is it about confidence that you see a lot of people in business not doing? They are unable to make decisions. They're so worried, they have anxiety, their anxious, and what if I did this, or maybe I could do this? And they stay stuck and they build this anxiety that affects your health, then you go home and you take that energy to your spouse, to you kids. It's just, it's a really terrible place to be. What do you say that most people that are looking for the outside validation before making that decision already have the answer?

Every business owner that comes to me already knows what they need to do. But what's missing? You know, Welcome to another episode of a Healthy Point of View podcast. I'm your host, Sam Tahata. And as usual, we're bringing experts from all over the world to talk about health, wellness, beauty, and mindset. Today, our guest here at this studio comes all the way from Dallas, Texas. She is an author, a speaker, and a business coach. Today, we're going to be talking about building confidence. There's a lot of us out there that don't have the confidence we need.

Even if you think you have that confidence, there's always room for improvement. All right. That's how we do it here. You know, we're bringing that energy, that fire, you know. Just to kind of like break the ice. We do that, the nice welcome, just so your confidence can come up. So, Julie, before we start and start talking about what you do as a coach, a business coach and all this confidence stuff that I really want to get into, I want the audience to actually know who Julie Gracie is. So we're going to go way back from when you were a kid so we can really understand what your upbringing was that got you where you're at today.

Yeah, it will explain a lot because I grew up a farm girl. So 200 acres, we raised cattle, and it was farm life. And anybody who's been raised on a firm, you realize that it's tough. At a young age, You have responsibilities and you have to figure it out. I can tell you, being raised in a form, I learned how to make decisions quickly and not have fear be a factor in that.

From modeling dreams to a one-way ticket to Europe 3:04

And that is how I truly built my confidence. And I didn't realize it at the time you're a kid, but so many times there's decisions and things need to happen on a farm that no one's coming to save you. You're literally in the middle of nowhere. So from a young age, I learned to just take action, set the emotions aside and think logically and make things happen. That's how was raised. When you were young, whatever, that's your normal. It was normal for me to look at a situation and maybe I felt fear or I feel uncertain, but to be able to at what are the logical steps to make this happen.

And so it was such a gift, learning that at such young age and that is exactly what I teach today. Nice, nice. So give me an example of one of those things where you gotta make that decision on the farmland so quickly. Yeah. Um, there's multiple, um, lightning strikes. The barn's on fire. It's 3 a.m. the whole house is up and you're running out the door. Like we could be scared, but the animals are going to get out or there are animals trapped in the barn. You just have to act. And it is that we talk about fight or flight and your firefighter.

And there's the people that see the fire and they freeze or they run away. And I've always been the one to, as soon as I see it, I sprint toward it. There is that, that reaction. So when I a problem, it's immediately like I'm going toward. Now, is always the best sometimes? No, maybe it like you should have thought through that process, but I always running to the problem not away from it and I really believe that was part of kind of my upbringing. That's how I was raised. Yeah, I can resonate with that because that's kind of what I've done all my life since I was young and also professionally, you know, always going to the problem.

And I have always been kind like that person, like, that friend. When anybody else has a problem, it always lands on my lap, right? Or it's just like I got to do something about it. I gotta be the coach or the mentor or whatever it is to get this person or therapist, to right to this get person to next step and do better. So, you know, You do a lot of business coaching, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't the first thing that came to mind after you got out of high school and went into college. Oh, yeah.

No, no. I mean, not at all. One day I go be a business coach. What are you? No. Never. And I was in high School and you're living on a farm in the middle of nowhere. and this was back when you would get magazines. Right. There was no Internet, social media. And I would see these women and they were just beautiful. And they seemed powerful. They were traveling in all these amazing places. I was like, well, I always wanted to travel because I'm stuck in a town of a thousand people. My love language is just to see the world experiences.

Well, look, they model. So I could go and do that and then I can travel. Then I started looking at what does it take to be a model? I went to my mother and said, I want a model." And instead of like putting down my dream or like, really, how are you going to do that? We live in the middle of nowhere on a farm. She asked me this one very powerful question and I teach this framework today and she said, ask yourself, what if I did? What if did become a mother? and it takes out the emotion and I literally wrote down the logical process.

Well, where do models live? I would need to move to LA or New York. And I went through the process of what I need do and literally just followed the steps. That's how from high school I took off. I was in LA, I worked in TV, worked on game shows like Deal or No Deal, was on the cover of magazines. At one point I sold everything. At one point I sold everything and booked a one-way ticket to Europe, walked runways in Milan, and just was able to travel all over modeling. And everyone's like, oh, it's your dream to model.

I'm like no, It's my dream travel. Modeling was just the vehicle to get me to do that. Yeah. Well, you know, You got to have a certain level of confidence to do that. Talking about buying a one way ticket to Europe, sometimes I always question, like my parents, they took four kids and left Dominican Republic without understanding the language here. And they just moved here to the US. But, you know, with them, it was to give us a better opportunity. There was a bunch of other things going on politically.

We had family here. Now with your story, I got to hear more about this because we are talking about confidence and something got you to a point to have the right confidence to say, You know what? I'm going to buy a one way ticket, go to Europe and really take this model into the next level. Yeah. And it was just, again, confidence or ignorance, maybe a combination of both. But I am so grateful for the innocence at that time, because you look back now, would I let my daughters do that? Absolutely not.

There's no way. I've seen some crazy movies where I'm like, no, it was one. I think it's all taken or something like that. Yes, yes. And I just I. Think, though, too, is my mom has just always been, you know, not everybody has that person that speaks life into them. Man, I realize what a gift I had. You don't get to choose your parents. Right. Yeah. My mom was an immigrant from Canada and first born American. It was very much of you can have anything you want, but you're going to work hard up for it.

Don't depend on anybody else to do it for you. And again, being raised on a farm where it wasn't like, oh, I'm tired. We don't care if you're tired, the animals still need fed. The work still needs done. And that work ethic and mindset as a kid just rolled right into life as I got older. I learned to make decisions without emotions. You start to feel fear or scared or nervous about a decision. and I knew the process to set that aside. and go through and how to logically go though the possibilities and the steps.

And that's a huge basis of what I teach people to do today because there is so much emotion involved in health decisions and business decisions. But yeah, going back to booking a one-way ticket to Europe, yeah. It was kind of like, what if I did?

Why business owners get stuck without confidence 9:20

What if went there and it was awful? Well, flights also come back the United States. Right. Right. So why not? Yeah. You know, it's one of those things where sometimes people always kind of question themselves consistently. Well, what if I did do that? What if. I actually made the decision 20 years ago to actually go to Europe, you know? Who knows? Your life could have been completely different. And sometimes you got to follow your dreams. Now. One of the things you as a as. A business coach talking about confidence, which you wrote a book and we'll talk about that later about the confidence side.

What is it about confidence that you see a lot of people in business not doing? They are unable to make decisions. They're so worried they have anxiety, they're anxious. And what if I did this or maybe I could do this? And they stay stuck and they build this anxiety and it feeds into their life. It feeds in to their health. We know about the mind body connection. When you have that energy and that stress, that affects your health, then you go home and you take that energy to your spouse, to you kids.

It's just a really terrible place to be. And so what I love to teach them is how do you make quality decisions? Because I truly believe your life is a reflection of your ability to make a quality decision. So there's a framework that I teach. How do I walk through a process to make the right decision, right? Because when you're stuck, I don't know, do this or should I do? This my big step is get it out of your head. Get it outta your because your brain, your brains an amazing place, Right? I could be right now.

I can be on a boat. Sailing to the Bahamas. Just caught a fish. You know what I mean? Like you can do anything you want in your. It could also go to a very dark place. Very dark. in our brains, and you probably know this, are actually designed to look for the bad things. It's a defense mechanism. So we first think of, oh, well, I couldn't do that. The first reaction naturally is to stop this new change because our brain, our body wants comfort. We want the known thing. And so when you write it down, you get it out of your brain.

it can't go to the deep dark place. That can go. To the crazy place, it. Can have a process and say, Oh, Why am I not making the decision? Here are the options, here's what could go wrong and here is what can go right. And then I have at least, okay, if this went wrong, is this 100% true? That's one question that I love to ask. Well, you know, this could wrong. Are you sure? Is it 100 percent true that it's going to go to wrong? Well no. Okay. So then there's a possibility it could right, but they focus on the negative.

I had a whole process that you write it out and I've had people come to me that You know, make decisions. One girl, gosh, and I talk about her often actually, she had always wanted to be a pilot and she never told anyone. And I walked her through the process of what if I did? And she's like, this is the first time I've ever written it down. Wow. I never tell anyone and was like I'm shaking physically. Literally just checked in with her today. Just today, She's still in pilot school. She was getting ready to take her exam.

That's amazing. So Julie, when you're talking about the emotions, right? Those bad emotions that start basically overtaking your thought process and doesn't allow you to do that one thing because now you have that fear. You have to, and I'll let you comment as the expert on it, is it true that you really have know how to talk to yourself? Because I feel like if you don't know to how talk yourself and take control, it becomes nearly too impossible. Absolutely. So, and here's the thing we talk about, like they just ignore the fear and move forward.

I feel that's horrible advice. How do you ignore fear when it's in your own head? It's inside of you. Um, I like to explain it as I do in the book is we are born positive. Listen, I've had anyone that has little children, they know exactly what they want. They're not afraid to go for it. they're afraid ask over and over, and I want that. No, give it to me. I really want it, right? They are going for. Somewhere as we get older and society tells us, you know, that voice starts building and that is from external voices.

So I would say that negative voice is not you. In fact, this is based on psychology and it's going to sound a little crazy, but just hear me out. You should name that negative voice because you're personifying it outside of yourself. Like, I am positive. I'm moving forward, but I have this negative. What's the name of your negative? Her name is Barb. Oh, is that the one you were telling me about earlier? Yeah, her name. Her. Name is Barbara. She's Barb and she is, you know what? Here's a thing. she wants to protect me from, you know, jumping off the roof or touching a hot stove or embarrassing myself.

That's what she's trying to do. But she doesn't realize we're no longer, stepping outside and afraid that something's going to attack us and kill us. You know we are in a modern day society, but that voice it will build. And so I have a fun and funny exercise to kind of go through, But it's based on science of how do I Take that voice with me everywhere I go. I said, you're not going to get rid of it. You're going put it in your purse or your bag or you pocket. Take it where you go and and when you start to do something and they have that negative voice of listen, who do you think you are to this?

You are not good enough to to like this is when that starts. I would say, and this is based on psychology, acknowledge it. So I just have a con... Oh, oh, we're going to start this. All right, what else? I'm not good enough. Oh. I have bad hair today? Oh okay. What else, tell me all the things. Okay. I'm not good enough, I shouldn't be doing this. Okay, what are all the things that it tells you? Listen to it. Are you done? Great, now go sit down and let me do what I, and then take action. So when you try to push it down, ignore it, it just gets louder and it becomes overwhelming to where sometimes you feel like you can't control it because you're ignoring it so the advice of just ignore your fears and go forward.

I think that's terrible advice. In fact, know it's a terrible advise. So that's pretty cool how you've named that voice and you have the ability to communicate with yourself, which is that. Now, let me ask you this, I'm going to just for the listeners and viewers so they can kind of understand this. So if I ask you right now, you go ahead and sing a song for us. Right. That fear is just I'm not going to do this on this podcast. What is Sam asking me to? Right? So now you have to communicate with Bob or Barb.

So not Barb, and I want you to communication with Barb To get you to sing something on the podcast. Yeah, you don't have to see no no, but I'm gonna tell you right now So exactly that Barb's like the first she's already talked. Oh, oh Julie. We all know you can't sing I like yeah barb I agree with you on this like literally you just and I know again, it sounds a little bit off But this is based on psychology. I read so many psychologists books on imposter syndrome. So Julie, you can't sing. Okay, well, I'm gonna sing on the podcast.

Well, they're gonna put that on repeat and put it all across the internet. People are gonna hear you not be able to sing, okay. I think that actually might be kind of funny. Like own it, no, so yeah, yeah I can sing I will happily sing in your podcast, but do you see the process of I hear, oh God, can I sing? I am terrible at it. So let's be terrible. Yeah, let us be. Yeah. You know, I went through I do a lot of public speaking. Yes. Obviously podcasts on the news, MC of big conferences, all kinds of stuff.

And I was never a person who could speak in front of people. I actually had some serious like stage fright.

Naming fear and overcoming imposter syndrome 17:18

So like everything you're saying, like a recipe with it. And I remember my first time actually being on a stage. I was in a orchestra, symphony orchestra in high school. It was ninth grade. My brother was an orchestra. He's two years older than me. And for him, when we had our first concert, you know, all the string instruments, the winds, there's about one hundred and fifty members in the orchestra Everyone was excited, you know, that we're going to have a big symphony orchestra concert going on.

And it was my first one. I was a second string violinist all the way in the back. No one could even see me if they wanted to. In I got the worst butterflies literally had to go to the bathroom, sit on the toilet. The director, after everything happened, they played all of the music without me. You know I missed the whole concert. And the director came to me, he says, it's your first one. He says I get it, says you'll be good. The next few times we'll work on it. And since that day, I told myself, this is I got to change.

I can't let that happen. In what I ended up doing, ended becoming the class clown. Forced myself to become the Class Clown. Also, you know what? I'm just going to act funny. And from there, that's where my journey started to be able to like actually speak publicly in front of people. And I remember when I was 16 and I already working as a lifeguard, I became a swim instructor here so I can feel confident. teaching kids how to swim, right, and be confident, being able to communicate to the parents as a 16 year old swim instructor.

And then from there, everything just trickled. I became a CPR first aid instructor, teaching people with stuff that I was already pretty confident in. and then it just builds from the year after year, after a year. But I had serious stage fright. So, but you understand that's actually normal. Do you know the fear of public speaking is more than the Fear of Death? I believe it. And I think it's called glossophobia, which sounds like I'm afraid of makeup or something, but it is the fear of public speaking.

It is truly a massive fear. I work with people that are multi-million dollar CEOs and they are scared to death to speak in front of people. They won't even get on camera. No, no, they won't get on camera. And so that's why like I created have a program It's called confidence on Camera Academy because I was coaching so many business owners and I'm like, okay and so the number one way to market yourself is getting on-camera video online they're like Like deer in the headlights, you can't be a faceless company.

You have to do it. Yeah That's how I learned as well. Now. I want to talk about something about that. Yes about speaking publicly so I thought I mastered it to a certain point, right? Speaking on panels, speaking on stage, doing keynotes on the news. You know, pre-recorded news is completely different than being on live news, you know? Being on podcasts, in-person podcasts versus virtual podcasts. And I was just doing it all, me doing my podcasts and then Last year, I remember I'm the chairman of the association.

So a few of other CEOs were on on a monthly call and we do a big conference for the whole industry. And they asked me, they said, so, Sam, we want you to be the emcee of of that today conference. I said no. You know why I say no? Well, fear. Well. But an emcee is different than a speaker. That's what that's where I'm going to. Very different. And I want to have you comment on this because I think this is very important. I've never done the whole emcy thing. Now I got to keep the attention of the crowd for two days, eight to nine hours straight every single day.

Lucky, I know what I now after that they pass. I told myself, this is I've always learned that you grow when you're uncomfortable. Mm hmm. How am I to do it? And I did it. This was this last September. Yeah, and I and it did fantastic. And am going to it again next year. Good for you. But I want you to talk about with what. The difference between the different public speaking, because it's one thing to be on camera, one to to on a panel, which I think the panel is the easiest thing do on stage. Right.

Then doing a keynote. You know, I want to get into these different things so people understand the level of fear and confidence that's needed between all of these. Yeah. Well, i would say the number one things to do is quit thinking about yourself. So first time I spoke in front of a group, I literally went in from of 100 women first-time speaking, like on a stage. I've been obviously Zoom calls and talking, but to your point, first I'm doing something and like, okay, But I can speak, it's the first doing it this way.

So you got to give yourself some grace there. But my speaking coach at the time, Um, and she said, Julie, are you nervous when you coach people on, on zoom? Like you, coach them. I'm like, no, I could do this in my sleep all day long. She goes, all you're doing is coaching from stage. That one sentence. Done. Walked up there. Are you sure you? I was not nervous at all. Walking up, like I thought I would have, okay, the butterflies and am I going to the slides? I walked up there and I was so confident and so comfortable because I'm like, no, it's not about me.

It's about all these women in this room that need to hear the message that I have to share with them. And so I literally was like I am coaching right now. As soon as I put that in my brain, It was solid. I've done a lot of speaking events. by very first one, one of the best ones that I've done. Amazing. Yeah. And so speaking to what you're talking about, you've spoken on a lot of podcasts. You've been a speaker for events. An MC is a whole nother ball of wax. I have a friend who is an MC and he is perfect.

He does a lots of, he's perfect as an emcee, but he just trained as a MC. You are entertaining the crowd. You're getting them hyped up for the next speaker. There's managing the flow of the room and the stage and speakers. I've never been an MC. Now, could I get up there and wing it? I think I could. In fact, I feel confident that I would. Would I screw it up a little bit? Probably. But I probably could make up with a bit of, you know, my energy up there. But so that's something that someone's like, would you want to be the emcee?

Ah, maybe. I might not do it great, but would I do a good? Yeah, I think I would. I took a lot of like preparing when I did it. And I. Think that's something that people should kind of, like, you want to feel you don't want. To feel unprepared. Yeah. Right. Mm hmm. In I remember when when. When I first did, and I told Carlos it was right back there and. Tell Carlos I said because he was running the whole production team for the event, we had thousands of people there. So Carlos says I need one of those earpieces, so I got to be in communication with you the.

Whole time. He says, Don't worry, And no lie, I had an earpiece and I was able to be in communication with stage production and everything. You know, oh, this so-and-so, we're looking for him before he comes out on stage. And that just being prepared at that level just allows you to feel more comfortable. Yes. Yeah. Right. That comes across. It comes cross on camera and you've seen this with people that are speaking, you can just tell that they're nervous. And so luckily again, you had all the experience there.

So it was like, okay, this is new, but it probably came off as excitement as opposed to nervousness. Yeah, I was still nervous. Yeah. And the interesting part is everyone on my team, everyone, you know, they said this is you did get the first day, but you were a heck of a lot more comfortable the second day. It's like the First Pancake. Everyone's, like, got to get so prepared. You just got a go rip the band like on the 1st one. Prepare as much as you can. That's why I created the Academy. OK, this just how you speak.

Here's the process. There's your body language. Tone to your words, pause, drop the tone of your voice because sometimes we get excited and we speak really high. Like, OK, we're going to bring it back down. So I'm going give you some of these basics, but then you've got to practice. And like you said, where do you start practicing? Zoom. getting on Zoom, speaking into the camera, how is my energy? And then, okay, can I go on a podcast? It's prerecorded, you screw up, they're gonna cut out all the parts you screwed up anyway.

You're good, start there. And a panel. A panel is a great place to start if you're not comfortable speaking because the focus isn't on you. Or if your someone probably like you and me, I just was like, Okay, do you want me to speak? Sure I can. Here's the thing, did I walk up there and think I'm going to crush this? I was like, well, I won't know until I do it. What if I did? What's worst case scenario? Well, might embarrass myself. Have I ever embarrassed myself?

Public speaking, stage fright, and learning to perform 26:38

Oh yeah, lots of times, but I survived. So if want to go down this path, have to get started. And I'd rather be embarrassed and make mistakes now so that in a few months, Like I've got that behind me. We see that a lot in business or in your health journey. Oh, I wanna get started. Maybe I'll do this. And they make these huge plans. Well, now I have to start working out five days a week and I'd have clean my diet and go on all these vitamins. Honey, how about you just put your shoes on and take a walk around the block?

Why don't you start with that? It's like that first step toward the goal that you wanna reach. Yeah. You know, I had a guest on the podcast just just the other day, the founder of Ancestry.com. OK. And, you know he said something. It kind of goes with what you're saying. He said, knowledge is not power. I actually say that. Knowledge is NOT power! OK, sorry to interrupt. No, no, it is. Not I want to see where you are going with it now. What do you say? Okay, because I have a lot of overeducated friends that never use that knowledge.

That's it. You hit the nail over the head. He said, when he said knowledge is not power, and I stopped it, I really resonated with what he says. Knowledge is no power without action with you applying it Say, man, that's so true. You know, a lot of us we number one, we know. Let's say someone who's in an unhealthy. They know how to eat healthy. People know what healthy food is. We're just making the decision not to. Amen. Right. So so same thing. When people do things that are not right, they are bad.

Someone's committing a sin. Most people know that it's a said they know you shouldn't steal. they still steal, you know? So they have the knowledge, but they're not utilizing it. So now with what you were saying, it's like people get this knowledge, but how do they actually apply it and use it? Yeah, well, it depends on in what context. So for me, for business would be, OK, I'm going to teach you about sales and we're going learn how to grow your business. What do you want to do? First of all, clarity.

what is it that you actually want? You'd be amazed at how many people don't actually know what they want. Right. so I make them write it down and look at it. And here's the thing. It becomes very real. A lot of times people don't write down their goals or what they actually want because then they have to look at it and they own that they're not taking steps toward that goal. Do you recommend people to journal everyday and write things down everyday? How would you have them structure it? Well, initially it's like, okay, when they come to me for business.

Okay, well, what do you want? It's not what I think your business should be. What do want it to be? What is your goal? And a lot of times with business, I said, business we're always tied to financial numbers, right? Otherwise you have a hobby. So is this a happy or a business? Then I have people that come me, they want me to coach. I just said you, how about you're running it as a hubby. Can't help you. Unless you tie these to a financial goals, can't do anything for you? Because that's not a business.

And I have made some people very angry with that. I'm like, no, this is a bussiness. Okay. Well, what's the number one reason, What's between a hobby and a buisness? Profit. Gotta make money. Right. So they've never actually written down. How much do you need to make a million dollars a year? They're like oh, I don't know. It's $83,333 a month. Why do I know that? Because I've done the math. Right. You know, it's they've never actually written it out. So I would say the biggest thing, biggest takeaway for anybody that's in business or wanting to start business, have the confidence to build a business.

Write down what you actually want. That's step number one. you have a forty three percent more likelihood to reach that goal if you write it down. Those are Harvard facts. It just over complicated. Yeah. Right? Julie, when you make a decision, do you a make decision with your mind, your heart, or your gut? I would say mind and gut over heart. Okay, break that down to me, explain that. Yeah, because my heart is, it's all emotion, and I've seen decisions be made that are not logical in any sense. So there is definitely a place where emotion is the forefront.

But when it comes to business or it come to your health, Those are logical decisions. And I always talk about business. You might be passionate about this business, and that's where the emotion is, because your big, deep why. That's why you let the emotions, that where you can lead with your heart. I love this. This is what I wanna do. Okay, we're gonna take that. We're going to set it right next to you. It doesn't, but we gonna set here. Now we just gonna focus on the mind. the logical part of this.

And then when you get through the logical parts, then that's when your gut instinct, okay, this is logical. I know this as the path, I'm passionate about this, something with this feels off. That's where your guts comes in and we don't ignore that. Would you label that gut feeling as intuition? Yes. Yeah, your sixth sense, intuition, Something is off, Okay, so how do you deal with that? And that's why it's so imperative. You surround yourself with like-minded people, with other business leaders, With people that you can go and say, hey, I needed somebody else outside of me.

Here's the logical process. here's where I wanna go. This is what I know in my heart. I want something about this feels off. That's when I like to get like outside input. Because maybe they can see something I can't. Or maybe there's some question that I don't even know I have in my subconscious about it. That just having a conversation with someone else that can give me a different point of view. But other than that, you can be dangerous to go out to get everybody's opinion on things. In fact, it's very dangerous in business.

You know this. So I want to touch up on that. Getting other people's opinion, right, is one thing. And I want you to explain the difference between getting someone's, someone else's opinions for whatever decision has to be made versus getting somebody else validation for you make that decision. Yeah, that's a really great point. Because there's lot of people that are missing that level of confidence to actually pull the trigger and execute without getting outside validation. Yeah. And it's to me, what I've experienced with that with at least with my clients is they haven't actually thought through the process or somewhere they have a lack of belief in themselves.

So again, I like to go back to the logical. Where do you not feel like here's all the steps. Let's go step by step. You need to do X. Do you feel 100% confident you can handle this? And if it goes this way or goes wrong that you know what to fix that? Yes. We go through it all. Yes, yes, okay. Then what part of this are you uncomfortable with? You know, like I literally call them out on it because it is, and then they're gonna sit and they just, well, I'm gonna think about it. Would you say that most people that are looking for the outside validation before making that decision already have the answer?

Every business owner that comes to me already knows what they need to do. So what's missing? the confidence to move forward of like, I think I want to do this, but is this the right decision? And I don't know if I'm good enough and I didn't want it to look stupid because I am going to try this and everybody is going see me fail. And they start spiraling through all of these questions. Well, it's great. I say there's no shortcuts in life. Yes. There are. I look for them all the time. I hire a mentor.

You've had coaches and mentors, I've coaches, and I have coaches to this day. My success is because I've had people all along the way guiding me, coaching me. Whether it was just a mentor, a friend that had experience in the direction I was wanting to go, or coaches that I paid. The coaches I pay are... I love them because they take no BS. And that's exactly what I need. I don't want to be surrounded by yesmen. Oh, it's okay. You tried. That's not what I want. That not's what need. And that's when I tell my clients, I'm like, look, i'm not here to hold your hand.

I am here tell you the things that other people won't tell. You and you have to be careful. Who do you get your advice from? Right? Because I going to build this business and then my grandmother's like hey, don't know if you should do that. Okay, thanks grandma. Appreciate your thoughts. You've never built a business and you don't know anything about this. But in understanding love, they're saying it out of love or their own limited beliefs. I would say they typically mean well, but never would I go to anyone in my family for advice in building a And so you have to say, where am I getting my advice from?

I don't have anybody to help me build this business. Well, then go pay a mentor. Go pay someone that's already done what you want to do. You know, if I wanted to start a health brand or I want it to a lot of stores where I did, you know what liquid Vita does. So. Sam, do you mentor? I would literally go to someone like yourself, say, this is what I'm wanting to do. Can you mentoring me in this space? One of the best ways is then go work at a clothing brand. Go back to the bottom. And go learn it.

Yeah. We overcomplicate it, and here's the thing is we think we have time. Next week, I am going to think about it and look into this. I will talk to this person next month. That becomes years. Success loves speed. So I always just say, oh, well, I'm going to call that person. I like, great, get them on the phone right now. Like, oh, well, I was going to call him next week. I'm like, no, we're on a call right now. Go ahead. Do you have your phone number? Call them right. Now, just do it. Yeah. And they're just like and they are like.

Oh, yeah. Instead of contemplating in this step, because then that's how you end up losing. You know, you got to move going back to making the decision. We talk about. Yes. Mine are gut and you mentioned you primarily use mind and gut. So can you break down the difference so so the viewers and listeners can really understand what the feeling is when they're making that decision and that feeling that's coming in, that intuition of the gut versus what they are hearing, seeing or feeling when it comes from the mind.

Yeah. I think I believe it's different for every person of how they interpret that. And I, I truly believe that some people can feel that Intuition stronger than others. Um, I never used to tap into it. I used just be like, Oh, something feels off. But now I really pay attention to it and I can feel it in my body. And I don't know about you, but I've gotten to where I will go into a room of people. And I literally have physically stepped back from someone because I can feel something. There's some bad energy.

The energy, yeah, I have nothing base to base it on. I don't know anything about this person. Something feels very off. And i literally will step back. From them. i'm like, whoa, i felt that they're vibrating at a whole different frequency.

Decision-making, intuition, and outside validation 38:18

Yes. Or those people that you get into and you just all of a sudden like my, my I just want to hug them. I'm like, hi, I don't know you, but do you want a hug? Like I, just my energy is immediately attracted to yours. Um, and I believe in that hands down. Yeah, me too. Uh, that's something that it's not easy to tap into, once you actually have the ability to top into that. and you can feel someone else's aura, you know, how their energy just you just know. You know? So that's pretty cool that you could do that.

Are you a believer in any kind of higher power? Absolutely. Yeah, I truly believe I probably should be dead at this point or very traumatized at some point, because I mean, yes, i truly believed that in I higher Power God. has always been there, and I have gone and challenged myself to do things and put myself in situations, looking back, I'm like, dear Lord, thank you, like there is a God, because I shouldn't be alive. He's been protecting you. So how does, you know, am a Christian, a believer, how is that higher power, God?

How does it take a whole play on these decisions and your confidence and everything else? Yeah, absolutely. I have a great relationship with God. self-acceptance with believing in God too of, look at me, who am I to doubt he made all this, right? The good parts, the parts that I don't love about myself, that parts I'm working on, he created this. And so there's something really amazing too that he is giving me so many challenges and I am just like, why? Why am suffering? why am so challenged with this only to realize later See what you were doing there.

I see what were you doing. And once that happens over and over again, then you stop questioning. You're just like, oh, well, I know you got something big planned for this because this is insane right now. This is crazy what I'm going through. So I hope you have big plans for that because why am I suffering through this right? And you're a speaker, you pour into other people. It's very humbling. that this is the calling that you have. That you would be the person that would speak life into other people and the words that say impact them on a level that impacts their life, impacts the life of their children, like as a business coach, I've gone in and these people are suffering, they're in debt, their unhappy in their marriage and been able to help them turn all of that around and start making money, have a better relationship with their spouse, Then they can show up as better parents and those children are raised in a better home.

And you're just like, it's humbling, like that. I have that effect on people. Yeah. It's a very rewarding thing when you see that, right? That's like the fruits of your hard work. You actually see it and it is a domino effect. What happens after that, you know, with those kids when they have both parents at home or whatever, and the kids are thriving and vibing and all of that stuff. It's like, man, if I didn't help this person with the coaching, where would that kid be? You know? Right. And then all the experiences you've had in your past.

Why was I born to these parents? Why did I have to experience this? How did it go from a farm to working in construction to moving to LA, working at TV, modeling, then going overseas, and then coming back and selling millions of dollars in real estate, where's the actual thread through all of this because it seems like it's chaos? And then you get to like what I'm doing now. Oh, yeah. Right. Every single thing that I did now, I am pouring into other people in every single area. There were lessons that they teach today.

So and also I'll tell you this, Sam, is I had two parents that Neither of them graduated from high school. They worked 80 hours a week, both of then, and they never complained. Wow. I never heard my father or my mother complain about work or being tired. It was just what you did. And we were grateful. We are grateful for everything. For me, all the sacrifices that they made and poured into me Who am I not to go and share those lessons? Who I am to hold all of that inside of me and keep it for myself?

Yeah, that's almost like that would be irresponsible and a form of negligence if you did that. That's how I feel. Like I would feel like I'd be ashamed. And so that is part of why I do what I'm doing. I don't know everything, but I know this. Do you feel that you're living right now for your God given purpose? 100%. That is amazing. And I talk about this is sometimes it comes as what looks as a negative. So when I was a kid, I have a lot of energy. I love to talk. When I young, it was told like, Julie, you talk too much.

You're too loud. Um, You draw too attention to yourself. Right? So, when i was kid I would, okay, i'm being myself and it's wrong. It's wrong to be me. So you're kind of like forced to a little bit more reserved. Quiet and reserved, and that's part of why I love speaking about speaking. Speak up. Yeah. You have a voice, use it. Use it, right. And so part me was like, oh, what? I talk too much and I'm too loud and draw too attention. Great. I am now a paid speaker, so you guys can kiss my, you know what.

So Julie, what's the hardest fear that you help women with? That they're worthy. that the dreams that they have, that are worthy of them, it is prevalent across every single woman that I coach. There's only one, there's one woman I have coached who didn't have that fear. She grew up with a mother very similar to mine. And she is a black female in the roofing industry, male dominated, took her from zero to almost two million in her first year in business. she just crushed it. Because she was committed.

She wasn't like, oh, I'm gonna try to build a business. She's like I am doing this. And she just went after it. It wasn' an option to fail. I going to have speed bumps along the way, but I still plowing forward. To this day I work with her. she's such an inspiration. What do you see difference wise between people that show up to your coaching that are alpha driven versus other people who are beta? That's a great question. So my women and men that are like very much, just tell me what to do. I want to go do it.

Love them. And my men are more like that. I'll just say, as far as like results, my guys, I'm like, hey, listen to me, go do ABC. They're like I got it, i'm going to go to ABC! I love coaching them, they don't overthink things. Whereas women, we use different parts of our brain than you guys do. We tend to overanalyze and over think things and I've got to get them to stop and like go, do A B C. Well, I thought I would do a, but then, then I don't know. I'm like, sometimes it can be challenging. And this is where me growth as a coach of how do I get them to take action and move forward because they're just wasting time now.

Um, But a lot of times they just don' t feel like they' re worthy of it because here's the thing, and we talk about the difference between, uh, like boys and girls in a classroom. Well, to be a lady or taught to a be lady, which what? sit down, speak softly, raise your hand, ask permission, right? It's un-ladylike to get loud and raise you voice. You guys don't get that training, yeah. So you get to be loud, and you raise voice, because you're a boy, so it's like the opposite of when you wanna be an entrepreneur is yeah, you have to brag on yourself, You have seek attention, have you to loud.

you are worthy of taking up the space. And so I have to work on that mindset with women specifically quite a lot. What's one of like the most common lies that people tell themselves that you notice when you do your coaching? That that they're not good enough, like they they are not. Good enough to do this. Hmm. And I go back, who told you that? You don't think you're good. Enough. Who told. You that. Because you weren't born thinking you were good, enough. Trust me. Ask anybody with a toddler. They think they're good enough, they want what they wanna and you, we know it.

Somewhere someone taught you that. Who told you? And I think I've only had one client not cry on a call with me because I dig. Only one that didn't cry? Only that has not cried. Oh boy. And I saw some tears welling up one day, but because you're digging into it and Sam holding that space where they get to be vulnerable because nowhere else is anyone holding this space for them, you know, that they can let these fears out. And that is an honor to hold that for space them because they're not sharing that with anyone else.

I know for some of the women, I'm the only person speaking life into them. Do you think childhood trauma can cause someone to lose confidence and not be able to take those steps that you're talking about? Absolutely. It all goes back to your childhood. Absolutely, I think I was listening to you podcast with Elizabeth and about how the you know your mind, your trauma when you were little and how you take that into your adulthood. Yeah. I mean, I had a client who was like, Julie, i never like to talk about myself because when I was in school I would get straight A's, but I didn't like sharing it because I don't want to make other people feel bad about their grades.

So she would just dim herself down. Wow. Because she didn' t want make people other feel. And I'm like now you're trying to be an adult and grow a business. You can't you have to switch that. That's not going to translate to success. Right. What's the that invisible cost when people have that self doubt and don' get rid of that? the invisible cause. What is it costing that person? It's costing the person. Well, it's not just costing them. It is costing their relationships. Mm, OK. Right. And so I mean, I wasn't going there, but it's not.

Here's the thing is forget about oneself. Who is it affecting? Right? Exactly. So that's where I can give it like, oh, me, stop thinking about you. What about your husband? What? About like for example, my husband is works is a workaholic. That man works harder than anybody I know. He's he loves his work. Great. But then if I'm sitting over here for me and I don't know if i can do it, How am I showing up for him? I have two children. If you're a parent, that is one of the best things. That's one the most motivators that I used when I find out one my clients is a parents.

I'm like, your child is looking at you right now. You gotta look down and look them in the eye and say, I am sorry. Can't spend time with you because I chose to spend doing all these things that are unimportant instead of you. How does that feel? And they're just like oh my God, you are crushing me. No, You're crushing yourself. So again, I always just say, we always are so focused on me and what I should be doing. What should I, I have daughters that are watching me. They're on my social media, they see me every day.

Do I wanna show them, hey, you should just sit back and not go after your dreams? Or do I want to show the look, look I'm gonna go for this. I am gonna possibly look stupid, feel stupid. But I gonna do it anyway, because I worth doing it. It's worth it, right? That's not a reason I hold myself back. Be the example. We pour into our kids, we want them to have the best life. Yeah, but you're the examples they're looking after. You know, it's like that relationships, how I treat my husband, How my has been treats me.

That's how they're going to go look for a male husband in the future is how he treats. Yeah. Luckily he treated me amazing. So they can have amazing husbands, but they are always watching. Sometimes we just get outside of ourselves and think of what other effect this is having. For example, I used to deliver meals for meals on wheels. If you've ever done that or donated your time to the underprivileged communities, if I just think about me and paying my bills, well, what about them? They need help.

If I'm going to go look at this little girl who is an orphan, who has old raggedy clothes, and I want to say, you know what? I can't help you with your schooling and the things that you need because I am too worried about myself and how I look on camera.

Health, stress, and building confidence through wellness 51:38

Not a good thing. You know what I mean? So I can really, there's different ways I could dig into some of these parts of like, then they realize like oh my God, I'm being so selfish right now. I am like you said it, bingo. Right. Julie, you know, every there's a saying that says every great athlete has a coach. Right? And there is always room for improvement. A lot of room from me to improve. There's room. For you to approve. And even though we coach people on different things, we know that we still need a mentor and that.

We still. Need coaching ourselves. What's one belief that you still struggle with that? You want to prove. Oh, now we're getting real deep. That's. One belief. I struggle. With. I would say, right, I'm a mom, so different phases of life, is that I can move forward with my business and still make time for my daughters. So I will tend to, like, where we say what are you willing to give up to go after what you want? And, you know, what, are, not willing, to. Give up. I am not, willing. To give, up time with, my children.

Right? I mean, excuse me, My youngest will be, I graduated from high school in a year and a half and off to college. My oldest is already off-to-college this fall. And so I'm very aware of time with them. So I have a lot of opportunities that get sent my way. That would be amazing. The trajectory of where I want to go is like this perfect rocket ship. I got a seat on that rocket. I'd be willing to say no to that. And there's the part, business, oh, it hurts. But then there is a part where it's my family and my girls.

It's not even a question, no. So you feel like that's one belief part that you struggle with personally that, but it seems like you kind of made that decision already. Here's a thing. I teach the logic. When I have a decision I had to make, I literally go through my own framework. Okay, what if I did? And I go though it all. Okay, that's a no. That's not right now. I wanna keep the relationship with you. There is a tour that I got asked to speak on, a very nice one this last year, and I realized not yet.

And I'm happy you mentioned about certain things that you have to sacrifice when you're succeeding in business, right? And you to understand those things. So as a business coach, what are some of the things you sacrifice personally being in the business and succeeding business? Which business and which era, you know what I mean? So I, mean, when you are young and you're just going after it, who needs sleep, right? Because I'm in my 20s and I can rebound. I could go out all night, get to work the next day.

You know, I didn't really sacrifice anything. Whatever I wanted, whatever I want. Here's one thing I'll tell you, Sam, is when I was modeling, the one regret that I have was I did not run it as a business. It was, this is fun and it allows me to travel. I didn't see modeling as a business. Now had I, and I ran it like a, it would have been a different scenario, but it was just, I was young. It's the knowledge I. Didn't have, right. Even know to, to do that. Does that make sense? So some people. They don't even know what they don' know.

I see it all the time. Right. Either it being within them or a product they have or something that they're representing and even a lot of influencers that have millions of followers. They're just there. but they don't have that coach or someone to tell them like, go run it as a business. Do this, do that. Like you can capitalize so much more than what you're doing now. But they just they. Don't know. Well, and here's the thing, too, Sam. I have clients that come to me, I show them exactly how to, you know, 10x, 100x their business, they didn't want to do it.

Why is they say they want you, but. They don' I've stopped trying to figure it out. Maybe they don't want to do the work. For example, I had a gal, she had custom t-shirt company, and I said, you ever done the math on how much you're making on shirt? Yeah, well, will I sell it for this? I'm like, that's not what you are making. You got to have to the numbers. How much are you making your time? Come to find out she was making $2 an hour. She had a full-time job and in the evenings, her kids, after she'd make dinner, they'd be in another room and she go into this little room in her house and start making custom t-shirts.

But through the process, we learned you're making $2 an hour. Yeah, that's not good. First of all, it's a hobby. You're not making any money. Second of, is it worth you giving up every evening with your kids for $ 2? Right. And she was just like, oh my gosh, no. I said, all you have to do is make this one switch. and you'll be making, I think we did the math, it was like, you're gonna be at $250 an hour. Okay, kids might watch a movie for a little bit while I go in here and bang a couple of that, but you know, and then how to build that to a million.

And she still didn't do it. So, with clients like that and I know you've had plenty of clients that how you said earlier, they just they don't it, right? I'm pretty sure you've had clients where they say, oh, I am content where I m at. Are they lying to themselves? Maybe, but honestly, i don't think so. I' m content. Where am I? Okay, then why am i here? Right. And I have said that I've like, look, there's nothing I can do to help you. Some of the worst things I could do is give advice for free.

There's a saying that he said, like if you don' t pay, you do' n't pay attention. Cause I give that same advice. Here's how you build this million dollar business. Like everything's there, the talent, they're like, yeah, I thought about it, but I think I want to go over to this path. I'm like great. Good for you. You're always going to struggle because down that path, there's no money. And it's like what can you do at that point? And that's hard. And I think it was actually Tony Robbins years ago that I listened to, gave some really good advice before I started doing speaking events.

He goes, when you do speaking event, you have to understand that not everybody in the room is there for you. Not everybody you're in a room, is gonna actually resonate with your message. In fact, your going to have some people that are gonna be like, that was awful. Right. This is Tony robbins. You know what I mean? That this is awful. This message is dumb. Like I wasted my money. Why did I come here? He goes, it has nothing to do with you. They're already in the crowd. You're not trying to reach it.

If you try to everybody, you're going to fail. The point is, he goes, go in there, depending on the size, five people. There's five in that room that today the words you say are going transform their life, the life of their children, and it's going have this butterfly effect for years. That's why you are there. I want to put emphasis on that because there was an artist that one of the things that he said, If you're trying to do something big, only 50 50% of the people are going to like it. If your pleasing 100%, they'll never become what you think it should become.

And he broke it down. He said, think about it, art. 50 percent of people who are not going like that piece of art, they're not gonna like this little balloon dog that's here. Right. The other 50 per cent might pay ten thousand dollars for that little dog. Same thing with politics. You can't expect everyone to like you if you're running for president. Fifty percent of people are not going to. Like you. Right. Yeah. So I think what you are saying, you know, is it really resonates with me. It's like so many people go on that stage or get in front of that camera to post on social media thinking that everyone's going like them.

Listen, I'm an alternative medicine, the whole biohacking wellness. There's like 50 percent more than 50% of the medical community in traditional conventional medicine that rip my content apart. And initially, when that started happening, said, man, well, like that, it's just like it like depletes you a little bit. Absolutely. So eventually you got to get to a certain stage where you're just, who cares? Keep on commenting. Build up my engagement on social media. Yeah. Yeah, I know what it is. And trust me, it's not like you become immune to it, right?

So we all love to help people. I mean, we're in this I have 100% the best intentions. So I'm taking everything that I've learned and I am pouring into people, okay, someone doesn't like it. Okay, but then when you get the negative come back to you, you're like, You have to be aware, it can hurt a little bit. Like, oh, wow, that stings. And if you're not, if don't have that guard up, It can get inside you. Yeah. and sometimes it's like, Oh, yep, its inside me. All right. Hmm. Then you have, I would say, recognize it because the decisions you make after that in any area are probably not gonna be that good.

Right. Because you've got this, you let that negative get in side of you Would you say you'd have learn how to navigate and also control those type of feelings? Yeah, yeah. Again, controlling your emotions, emotional intelligence of, okay. And here's the thing, and we teach, of course, I've never gone on to someone else's page and been like, you're terrible, this is awful. I'm not that person. Yeah me either. First of all, if I don't like something, that's stupid, swipe, next thing. To actually stop and make a comment to personally attack someone, something's going on in their life.

They need Jesus. they need some Jesus, they might, you know what? They didn't get spanked enough as a kid. I think that's what it was. My, I was scared to death of my mother. So it, she was a tough one. You know, what I mean? Like you don't behave that way. But yeah, You're going to get those comments. And so like they say, if you, don' get haters, your not pushing hard enough in sales. Oh, i made 10 calls and I sold everyone. you failed. You're not making enough calls. Your prices aren't high enough.

Like we, you got to get your percentage lower. Actually. You've got. Get your. Percentage of closings lower, but you're going to sell and make more, right? Yeah. Yeah, no, I can see that. I learned how to kind of like navigate through a lot of that stuff is obviously working 12 years working in the fire department. You know, obviously I've been retired for what, seven years now. Um, you know you get what's called PTSD, right? And the things you see just they never go away. They're going to be with me until the day I die.

Every gruesome call I saw, like I remember it till this day. But you learn how to control those thoughts, you know, so it's kind of the same thing. You have to kind like control all that negativity, the bad press or whatever comes up, people saying anything and just keep on pushing forward. Yeah. I used to be very reactive when I was driving. Of course, I lived in L.A. . I Was in my 20s and L A traffic is crazy. And I'd be like, OK, cut me off. Cut you off like I. Was not a positive person. As driving, as you have.

To be aggressive, defensive in LA traffic. And I don't know where the switch came, but I and maybe it's once I had once. I have kids that change me for sure. But it was more like when someone's like rude to me when I'm driving. Now I I. Have a very different mindset and I dont know what where it started, But It was just like OK, yeah, like give it to. Me don' take that home to your family. Don't take it too. The little lady just trying to go get her milk at the grocery store. Dont take It to the teenage girl who's driving for her first time out by herself.

Give it to me. You want to be a you-know-what and honk and flip me off. Yeah. Okay. Give to it me." I can take it. And I do that. It's almost like with my clients, I'm like, if you get a negative comment, you post something, make a phone call, a sales call and someone's nasty to you, they're like don't call me, this is awful. You call me, you give it to me. You don't carry that. I'm like, it fuels my fire. So you'd give to it me so that's part of what I do for coaching because it'll sit in them, It'll weigh on them.

I'm like, did you get a negative comment? What'd he say? Well, he wasn't very happy. Ooh, yes, tell me. You got somebody angry with you? And then I like I celebrate it because you made the call. Okay, now give it to me, what'd you say, give me the words. I was like this is awesome, high fives, you're awesome. Now go make another call, You just gave it me to like mentally I am walking them through. Take a deep breath, Give me those negative comments because I want to eat them for lunch. now you go and make more calls.

right? Because it'll stick in them and then that doubt comes in and if they're not sold on what they are doing, they'll never make a sale. And so I love being that person for people. Oh, we got somebody that's upset angry what they say give it to me You know, you have to change your mindset about it. Yeah Because here's the thing when you can't get somebody upset on the phone if you're if your not making sales calls Let's let's reward yourself. You're picking up the foam. Your making calls. I agree with that.

Absolutely So Julie, obviously you know you are on a healthy point of view podcast. So it would be Not the right thing if we didn't talk about health, right? Because I do think, not think. I know health is very important when you're trying to build confidence, when we look good, feel good in front of that mirror on a day-to-day basis, where we have that energy inside of our body, we're just gonna perform. We're gonna be a heck of a lot more confident. And I now when I lose a couple pounds and clothes starts to fit a little bit nice and a bit tighter, You know, my confidence goes out the out, the roof, you know.

And people see it, people feel it. So I know you were telling me about skinny to healthy. Mm hmm. Let's talk about it and what I want to tap into what you do for health, how health how healthy is so important to build up confidence and why. Absolutely. So my health journey was, I was an athlete when Iwas in high school. I worked out to run faster, to pitch faster. Then I went into modeling and Iworked outto be skinny, not to be healthy. Big difference. My job as a model, nobody cares if you're healthy, They just need you to be a certain size.

So I was also a fit model. A fit, model has very certain dimensions. Just means you go into a clothing company and you are literally like a human hanger. This is your shoulder width, your waist and your hips so they can try all the clothes on you. Oh, so a FIT model is a Human Hanger and I fit those dimensions so I stayed fit to match those. It was very tiny. I think I'm five, nine. very little. But that was modeling. Then I stepped back from modeling and became a mom, and then I started working out to get back in shape to keep up with my kids.

And now I work out for my brain. Cause now I've learned what that does for your brain. I work out every morning, I know what it does. When you have problems come up, it helps with your decision-making.

The Maha movement and workplace wellness 1:07:28

It helps keeping anxiety. Helps you stay emotional regulation in your body. There's so many good things as you know, Sam, but now, now work, don't work to be skinny. Work out to healthy. Right? There is a very big difference there. Yeah. And I eat to health. before I ate to be skinny. I was like, oh, I got a photo shoot. Well, i'm not going to eat all day. See, this is what I try to tell everybody. What you're talking about right now when it comes to especially as we get older, we're not thinking about how we were in our 20s.

Right. We're even younger than that. Where it's just like men are trying to get all buffed and, you know. like that, you know, where it actually gets to the point where sometimes we look healthy, but we're actually very unhealthy. Yes. Right. So now it's all about longevity and health span. Like when I do certain workouts like I don't do CrossFit, I used to do crossfit. I'm not going to get injured. I go pick up a wrapper off of the ground and I'll pull my back. You know, I'm not messing with it.

Yeah. So for me, everything is a very controlled exercise. How do you feel about specifically longevity and health span as you continue to age? I'm right there with you. Absolutely. I used to do the orange theory, the CrossFit, and the crazy workouts. Obviously, you're trying to the right thing. Okay, this is supposed to be what a group workout for your body is, so that's what you do. And I want people to highly confident about their health, right? And so I write in there, what is the ultimate success?

I can teach business. The ultimate is taking care of yourself. Right. And so I'm over 40 years old. So now it really is understanding my body at this point, because this is not the same body I had when I was 20, or even when was 30. This is 40 year old body. How do I take care of myself the right way? And that's just educating yourself and learning as science develops of what works best. And same as you, I do very controlled. For me as a 40 plus woman, Heavy weights, walking. My number one thing is sleep.

Prioritize your sleep, nothing messes with my sleep I am to bed early. Do not, you know, I tell my family, unless there is a fire or you're dying, do not wake me up. It can wait until the next day because that's how important sleep is to me because I know what it does for my body. When I get a really good night's sleep? I'm like jumping out of bed. I I want to take on the world. Do you use an oral ring? I don't. I've stepped back from those trackers myself because, and I know that you know this, sometimes the negative effect of those is letting this little thing tell me what to do and how I'm doing it instead of focusing on how actually feel.

Yeah, that's actually something that I saw right in my third book. It's called Your Wellness Data. And I highlight that actually, which you just said, really, because you could actually you know, stress is a true killer. it causes inflammation, oxidative stress in the body. and it doesn't matter if it's good stress or bad stress. Stress is stress, your body doesn' know the difference, it'll kill you. So some people when it comes to their health data, they stress out about it. Oh, I got to go to sleep at this time.

I gotta take my vitamin at. This time I'm going to take the next pill at, this I've got, to be in the infrared sauna. And a study actually recently came out and this is what I am talking about. It was overseas. They noticed a group of athletes between the ages of 25 and 35, having a lot of heart attacks and strokes. These group athletes that are having these heart, attacks of strokes, what they found out that they all had in common, was that they were overly obsessive about their health. Yes, I see this with women and food, the obsession around food of what do I eat?

What do i not eat, what time do we eat it? And I just I don't I've never been there, so I can say maybe I Don't understand it. And it's I think it is their way of trying to control of some kind of control over something that is that. They don' feel they have control. And the guilt, you talk about the stress. The guilt is also a stress, right? Like, look at me, if I'm going to take down maybe a burger, oh, I am enjoying it. I I enjoy it every bite. And yes, someone have a food baby afterwards and just going give it a little pat and be like, yeah, like.

I've never, I'm always been fairly thin. I have never had an issue with weight, but I also never have food guilt. And trust me, this girl can take down some food. My first date with my husband, and I think I took down an entire rack of ribs and he was like, ''I love you.'' Stress is the number one thing. So how can we manage our health in a way that is healthy? Right. And speaking of health is your health and business completely tie into one another. Absolutely. I've had clients that come to me and they're like, I'm making millions of dollars, but their relationship with their spouse is terrible.

Their health was terrible, they haven't worked out. They're exhausted. You're, like is this worth it? Are you are you happy? Is this worth it? And they're like, well, I have to have one or the other. You don't have To have One or The other you have. To put a plan together. How do I take care of all of these things? You know, but they always put their health last. And I know I was a mom with little ones. Sometimes it's not, you know. It's hard to do. you Are exhausted and you're caring for little people.

But it really is. how do i put myself first, my health? Because that's the ultimate success. Yeah. Do you feel that growing up in the farm life helped you with your health? Probably in a sense that we were always up and out. We were all always moving. What about the food you would eat? Okay. So I was raised like people try to live today. That's like the dream. We raised our own grass-fed beef. You know, we grew all of our vegetables. It was very much like, people are like oh, I now spend a ridiculous amount of money getting grass fed beef to my house.

I'm like yeah, they were in the backyard. Yes, so yes, high quality beef and vegetables and you always had dessert. So that's the thing too. I never had food guilt of like, oh, I shouldn't eat sweets. No, that just part of the day. You have a little sweet treat at the end of day, so to this day I still have dessert. Do you had a lot of different animals out on the farm? We had 200 head of cattle and then what I could find, found a raccoon one time. Anything that was a baby animal in the woods I would take home and I raise it.

We didn't even eat the raccoons though. No, no, we didn't eat raccoons. Just cows. It's just making sure. Yeah, I know. But you know, where is this conversation? Depending on where you go in the country. That's a good question to ask. We didn' do that. I have had turtle, though. And that's that I think the or the turtle I've never had. Turtle, but they eat turtle soup. Yes. See, if I had a turtle of an alligator, a frog legs, um, think I even had squirrel one time. Squirrel. Oh, boy. What about squirrel?

I like you. I'm pretty sure I tasted it one time. It was just like chicken. I'll just eat chicken Man poor little squirrel All right, so What's one thing that you would want to improve for your health that? You feel like you could just do slightly better? Slightly better this is gonna sound terrible. I'm pretty happy with what I am doing. You know, like, I work out pretty regularly and if I find that I've off, and I stop and say, okay, where did my schedule take over? And then next week I adjust and it's because I coach it.

And I feel like I need to live it if wanna live in integrity. Oh, 100%. So I hold myself accountable that way of like... I telling my clients, you know. Okay, we're gonna help you with sales. Yeah, but how many times did you move your body this week? I need you to move your body because it's going to help me coach you in business." And they're like, what? Yeah. Yeah, you thought we were just going learn sales and scripts. Go take a walk and come back. I would say I'm pretty good. I mean, we, it's been a journey.

You know, here's the thing, when you're trying to get healthy, It just takes time to learn what works, what worked for your body, What works for routine. But yeah, I get all the grass-fed beef, get the wild Alaskan salmon, have the sprouts, the cage-free eggs from the chickens that Jesus himself blessed. And I like to go to do things for my health, like liquid IVs. um learning from you uh about the difference in some of the different ivies compared to what you have to offer i love learning these things i would just feel like there's so much more to know i'm always trying to educate myself um because you Have people they're like okay i'll go to xyz place and go get an ivy And they think that they're doing something good for themselves when really they are putting inflammatory products into their body and it's actually causing other issues.

Or they putting synthetic B6 into there body, and they wonder why they were having neuropathy. But they trying to do the right thing. They just have the wrong information. This is such a pet peeve of mine. And so that's why I loved, like with Vida, You don't do that. You use those synthetic chemicals. These things matter to me, but most people don t know about this. I think what you're doing with the education of this is so powerful and so needed. Do you do anything for your brain health, cognitive health?

I work out, I get sleep, hydrate, avoid stress, get daily sunlight for 20 minutes. I laugh every day. Do you meditate? No, box breathing. Meditate, I'll tell you this. I like to do quiet time. So this might be my version of meditating. Like I'd like you to take 30 minutes to an hour where I just go into a space in my home and a lot of times I have a book and I read. But then I put it down and i'm not really sleeping but I'm almost like a deep rest. It's like Huberman would call it a Deep Rest. And I would called that more my meditation.

Yes, I've tried. It's like all my friends love yoga. And this is where it's crazy that I'm attracted to people, because I try to do yoga and my brain starts going bananas. What do I do? I cannot calm my mind. Yoga does the opposite to me. Really? Yes. They're like, oh, you're going to breathe and meditate. My brain is like oh it is quiet. Let's start going through a thousand things. You watch Andrew Huberman? Oh yeah. Oh, yeah, and he's big into brain health as a neuroscientist. Yeah, no, I love him.

I loved how he breaks it down in ways that are simple that I can understand. In fact, they quote him in my book, too. Oh, really? And it's basically about the part of your brain. When you do one hard thing, there's a part your that grows and it helps you to do other hard things. Right. And so like I will do cold plunges. You do call plungers. That's one of the ones I just I. Can't do it. So here's the oh, don't say this. He can't. Yes, you can. Is it a hundred percent true that you It's not that I can't.

I don't want to do it. Okay. Let's see. That's exactly what I teach. Don't use the word can. Right. Yeah. All right. If it's 115 degrees and the sun is bearing down on me, I am happy. I love the heat. So what do I do? I go get myself my hot tub in the winter outside in this cold. It's 30 degrees. And I'm miserable and I make myself stay in there for three minutes. That is a mental exercise because every part of your body is like, you are dying, get out. And to get yourself to stay, there's a massive part of your brain that grows in that.

Also afterwards, you're just like the chemical release in your body and for your brains. I am so calm. You could not upset me. The world is great. It's like, the best, I don't do drugs, but I only imagine if that was like a calming drug, But it's all natural. That's exactly what it is. So Julie, there's a big movement that's happening right now. It's called the Maha Movement. Make America Healthy Again. Yes, it's about time. What are your thoughts about that? It couldn't get here fast enough. Could not get fast here enough What do you love about it the most?

I love that we're actually getting educated about what real food is and what we should really be eating. I mean, we've flipped the food pyramid, which those of us that know it's been upside down forever. Yeah, exactly. And I've been saying it for 20 years. Absolutely. But now we can start to educate people why. We have obesity is off the charts.

Real confidence, identity, and the message of the book 1:21:08

Child obesity off charts, We're going down a very bad path. And for companies, putting wellness programs in their businesses, I think, hands down, the data from Harvard, their return on investment is a 277% return of investment for every dollar spent. Where else in your business are you going to get a 377 percent return? They should be bringing liquid Vita and having those in their wellness programs. If you wanna have successful business, the wellness of your staff is going to affect your business.

if they're tired, they've been eating Doritos, They stayed up all night playing video games. They're coming in hungover. How protective are they going be? But if you have a program where they have gym membership, that can get a workout in, and they can go get liquid IV. they could get some red light therapy. Like this is just data and I know you love data, and maybe you already know this, the data is there. Like, so if we're talking about business people and they wanna return on investment, their numbers, there's the, data.

Put a wellness program into your business. Tap into the wellness, I agree. Absolutely. And for entrepreneurs, it's even more risky because a lot of entrepreneurs it you. You don't work, you don' make money. It's the unbeatable equity in your health. Yeah, absolutely. And so they find that you have a 33%, you miss 33% less days of work when you focus on your help as an entrepreneur. That in a solopreneur or a very small business, that is a massive difference in you business just by focusing on you health, you know?

So they think about, oh, if I got a membership to go get IVs and red light and a gym, it's too expensive. Actually, can't afford not to. Right. Yep. I agree with that. Julie, how do you measure real confidence versus performance? How do measure your real competence? Well, sometimes you do fake it. Sometimes it's just I'm going to get up here and I want to act confident, but I am scared to death and don't know what I do. That happens sometimes, too. Real confidence is when you can trust yourself.

Do I trust myself that no matter what happens, I'm gonna get up here and I am gonna fail, but am I going to be able to figure it out and am going be okay? Can I be there for myself? Keeping promises to myself. You're with you 100% of the time. What do you say that a lot of that stuff we do like being on stage or being a camera, it's a form of acting? Yes. Yeah, you're a different person in church on Sunday morning than you are on stage, that you aren't a bar on Friday night. Then I am sitting on the floor with toddlers.

Yeah. You know, and it's we wear different hats. You have to, and I'm not saying become pretentious, keep it real, but you still have kind of put on some kind, somewhat like a facade, right? There is a form of acting. You kind have bring out this stronger persona when you're on this camera. Well, here's the thing, it's still a part of you. It is. What part do you need to show up in this situation? Right when I'm on a podcast right now, I don't need to show up as. Julie, the mom that's at home in her sweats, playing cards with my kids.

That's not the version that I need for who I'm trying to speak to right now. They need the vision of me that is the business coach. Yeah. that there to kick their butt and get them to move forward because that exactly what they need. Right. When you're on stage, who do I to be for the people in that room? How can I show up as the best version of for them? And that higher energy, I'm a little louder, you are entertaining, right? Yeah, that's that version of you, but it's still you. It's you still, it is.

I've recognized that I have, and I told myself, where Clint is my pastor and his wife, they were actors before becoming pastors. And I don't know if anybody else at the sermon received it how I did is he's awesome at what he does. And so is his wife. That's why he so great at this age, he did years of acting, like he can really, you can pull through with it very strong. So I told myself, this is, man, I'm gonna learn how to act a little bit. You know, so when I my camera on stage, you know, keep the crowd going and everything.

And sometimes when you're doing it so much, that that persona comes with you. So and I remember going to my parents' house for one of the holidays. You know what? I got friends that I grew up with, my brothers and my sisters. They're like, hey, Sam, you got to turn that shit off over here. It's going be the regular Sammy that we grew with. I was like. OK, I'll turn it off. Yeah, laid back. I've been that like, so when I go home, like the holiday, holidays family, I'm very quiet. You can believe that.

I just more I am over here sitting. Yeah, kind of like I said, very subdued because that's they don't. I'm not, the business, high energy, presenting on stage version of me, that's not what I am doing here. Yeah, right, but the reason why I bring this up, I think the viewers and listeners need to understand it's okay to put on that acting right. You know, get out of that, that tightness where you got like that huge rock up your butt, like release and just let loose and become that actor. When you get in front of the camera or get on stage, it's OK.

Yeah. Get that highest energy version of yourself. Because here's the thing, too. Every person in that room, typically what if these events you go to? Why are they there? Right. There's something that they need. There is something they're wanting to learn. They're seeking out something. there's a problem they have there. You don't know what it is. Yeah. Okay. So part of it, is if I get up there and I say the same thing of like, hi guys. so I'm glad that you're here. And today we're going to. Learn about sales.

I mean, dear Jesus, that's horrible. And you've been in meetings where people talk like that, and you're just like, oh my God. Whereas if I'm like hey guys, I am so glad you are here. Today we are gonna learn about sales. We're gonna to learn how to kick some butt and take some names. So sit down, i'm so excited for you. Like, And I talk about this when I do Zoom meetings. I teach them how have energy through a camera lens. Put your shoulders back. Like if you're excited about what you talking about, the other person's gonna get excited too.

Like, if I came to you and I'm like, Sam, I cannot wait to tell you this. Oh my God, it's going to be amazing. You're like oh my god, what is this thing? I mean, actually getting a little excited, too, but I don't even know what it is. You know what I mean? Like the energy you put behind your words matters. Yeah, they definitely do. It's like that in everything. Julie, this next question I'm going to ask you, I want it to come from the heart. All right. I Want you to let the world know based on what you do and what You've put together.

What is the true problem? And what is The solution you have for that problem. I would say that there's so many people out there that are holding themselves back. They actually know deep down inside what it is that you want to do, but you're waiting for permission. You're wanting for a permission from the universe, from your parents, your friends, and your network that is never coming. And then what happens is you never realize those dreams and you think, well, I didn't want to do that anyway, but it's still deep there inside you.

So I would encourage everyone to go through the process that I have in my book. It is a logical way to whatever that dream is, you ask yourself, what if I did? It's a framework and write down, just do this exercise. Here's the thing, when you take it out, it might be scary to write It's safe, you're just writing it down. You haven't done anything yet. Haven't changed your life yet." Getting that out of your head and onto paper is the first step because I truly believe that you have gifts inside of you that are just waiting to get out.

They can help so many people. And so for me, my goal is to help people get those gifts and those dreams out because the world needs what you had to offer. Amazing and Julie what what let's let us talk about the book Highly confident. Yes. What what motivated you to put this book together? And what is it all about? Well, and it's highly confident well, I'm I am confident no High confidence highly confidence. We're going to that level How can I reach that? Level because when you are highly? confident The anxiety goes away, the self-doubt, we know stress is the number one killer.

I can tell you this, I don't have those issues. When I'm worried about something or I feel myself getting anxious, stop, walk through the framework to help make the decisions and get clear on where I am going. And there's just so much peace in that. with your finances, with relationships, your kids, and your health. I wanted to write this because I kept teaching the same thing over and over to my clients that it was the pattern, whether they're a multimillionaire or starting a business from scratch.

And like I said, I learned how to make decisions logically. I learn how set the emotion aside to tell Barb your imposter syndrome set to the side. Thank you for all these negative comments that you're telling me I'm not good enough and still be able to think logically and to still move forward. I had the most amazing parents, had a mom that was so powerful in my life, and I realized not everybody has that growing up. So how can I take the lessons that I learned and get those into the hands of more people?

Because they need it. This thing where I'm not worthy never had that issue. And not in a way that, I think I am so great, it's just that why not me? So I'd say that to the listeners. Why not you? And whatever excuse you come up with, And is it 100% true? You'd be amazed at what you could actually accomplish when you start moving forward towards your goal. You're like, wow, I did that. I'm like yeah, no, now go do it again. Yep, yeah I feel it, and I know it. It's in the book. Where can people find that book?

It's on Amazon. Highly confident on amazon. It is there. The audiobook will be out next week. You can get me in your ear. Oh, you actually did that. it is my voice. I was not allowed to. No one else is going to do my audiobook for me. no way. We got that AI that matches it. And no, no. By the way, AI did not write this book. i wrote every word myself. Thank you very much. That's amazing. Yeah, I know. But audiobook like people are used to me talking and then suddenly some random person is doing it, ya know?

No, no. And I feel that highly confident energy. That's right. AI is great. But, you know, AI has not me. So that's the truth. All right, so, Julie, we're going to have a little fun here. OK, I love fun. One of my favorite podcasts out there is the diary of a CEO. Yes. and they came out with these conversation cards. Are you going go ahead and grab that? OK. Take that sleeve off and not grab two cards from anywhere in the deck. Two cards? I don't know what the cards are going to say. OK, I'm not going look.

I'll get this one. And then I mean to get. This one, OK? I love this. You're going have to give another one I think you took like the Joker. Well I. Don't want to look Steve. Because I I am one of those I never like to cheat at games. Like I really won't even look that way. Is that one? Yeah, that's good. So you got to read what's on the card and then you're gonna answer it. Oh, fantastic. Do you have to do this too? Is this just me? No, I got to sit here and watch. OK, great. So, oh, yeah, all right.

This is going to get deep. What is your rich life? Cody Sanchez. God, love Cody. I quote her in my book, too. She's an inspiration. I am living my rich life. And what is that? That is, I have an amazing husband who I'm truly in love with. I had the best relationship with him. My children, have amazing relationship. They're all healthy. Everything that I want in life, right now. So for me, and it's that piece with that, I don't have the stress financially, don' have stress with my health, granted it ebbs and flows, but the life that I'm living right now is my original life.

I truly could not ask for more. Now I am a go-getter, so I always gonna shoot for things. But I have everything that want, truly. So what's the next one? What do we got? What is an inadequacy that you admit to that? You could work on starting tomorrow. Oh, organization. So put me on any stage, tell me what I'm talking about. I'll figure it out. But like the process of the operations of business, that's definitely where I struggle. That's just not how my brain works. Let's go get sales. My husband is operations.

His brain is methodical. those, those connections don't happen in my brain like that. And I'm in awe of people who have that, um, so that's one area that yeah, starting tomorrow, that just means I've hiring someone to do it. I was going to say this and just hire some, I just hired someone. It's like the same thing with me. Like, I'm not going to do the financials of this business. I'll look at them, present the numbers to me, but I am not messing around with it. Yeah, yeah. So that's definitely a big one for me.

And the funny thing is, is I teach follow up. 80% of your money is in follow-up. I were to follow up more, I'd probably double my income. I'm going to work on that for 2026. Thanks for calling me out. Julie, as we wrap up here, if there's one person who's listening or viewing this podcast and really resonates with today's message, what is one thing you can leave them off with? I would tell them that whatever it is that they want to Follow the process and write it down. Get it out of your head. Again, your hat is an amazing place.

We can think of all the possibilities, but it also goes dark and it typically will go negative as your default. So whatever you want to write, it, down, get very clear about it. And then just write out the steps to get there. Follow. The process. Overcomplicate things. Right. Yeah, I love that and Julie if people want to find you where can I find? You they can find me I'm everywhere. I am on social media Instagram Obviously, my name is spelt very unique. It's a Julie with two E's know I you know, uh, My mother's French Canadian.

They say Julie Julie. Julie Yes, it's very beautiful America. Just Julie, but it made a name Elliot very English proper Elliot. Very proper. Um, but yes, on social media, uh, you find me at Julie Gracie, a highly confident book.com. Uh, You can find it on Amazon. And come say hi. I always love to connect with people. Amazing. Julie. It was a pleasure having you on a healthy point of view podcast. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Guys. This was an amazing episode. We all need a little bit more confidence in what we do to be able to succeed in business and relationships and anything that you do in life.

Guys, if you don't think you need it, I can assure you that have someone in your Rolodex that can send it to you. Any friends or family, make sure you share it. Make sure to comment, subscribe, do all that fun stuff and we'll see you for the next one.