Hitting Your Mental Reset In Your Pregnancy Journey

Introduction to Elizabeth King 0:00

Hey, friends, I'm Dr. Aumatma, the host of your Beyond Infertility Summit. And I'm very excited to introduce my friend Elizabeth King. She is a certified fertility expert and founder and CEO of the Fertility Coach Academy who help people of all backgrounds conceive a healthy baby and carry to term after having three children of her own after the age of 40. Elizabeth believes taking a more holistic approach is the key to success when attempting to conceive. She is a certified life coach, a birth and bereavement doula and a new parent educator.

She has thousands of women achieve their dreams of conception and parenthood in 20 plus countries around the world. She supports clients through natural fertility, infertility, IVF, miscarriage, loss, early pregnancy, PTSD and new parent support. She also is the host of the Creation Innovation Podcast and is a contributor to books like Naturally Conceived. She's also been hosted on the Good Morning Washington, Sacramento's Your California Life, The Tamron Hall Show and so many podcasts. In addition to her incredible bio, I will also say that we're going to have a very interesting conversation ahead around mental and emotional health on the fertility journey.

And this is really important because I don't know too many people on the fertility journey, whether you're just starting out or you've been on this journey for a year or two years, five years. There are different challenges that come up in every stage, even those that have just started out. I can guarantee some of the questions that you're sitting with is why do things go wrong? I didn't realize this is going to be so hard and I'll be leading at the right time. Am I doing all the right things? Should I be taking supplements?

Those questions are going to change. When you talk to someone who's been in this journey for a little bit longer.

Emotional Challenges on the Fertility Journey 2:27

But the reality is we all need to be supporting our mental and emotional health. So Elizabeth and I are going to get into it around what can you do to support in a tangible, easy, practical way the journey that you're on, regardless of where you are. So we'll see you there. Hey, Elizabeth, welcome. I'm so excited to have you here today. And I'm really excited for our topic because it's so, so important. As people are going through the fertility journey, the emotional and mental toll that this takes on, the couple that's going through this process is really intense.

So I'm really excited that you've joined us and I'm going to pick your brain about all things related to mental and emotional fertility staff. Thank you for having me. And thank you for bringing this topic to light. Because I think when most people think about fertility initially, they are so concerned with all the other things really, and the mindset kind of comes last, although the mindset is really the, the thing that gets triggered first, right? When we first recognize is, oh my God, this is not going to be as easy as I thought.

Or, you know, maybe I'm not ovulating or my period came again this month that mine starts to play tricks on us. Yeah, absolutely. So let's get into like, what are some of the emotional struggles or challenges that couples face when they're struggling with fertility? I think it depends on where they're at in their journey. Right. Somebody who is trying to get pregnant naturally at home versus somebody who maybe done several rounds of IVF. It's a little bit different in the fact that they're that emotional struggle is stemming from different trigger points, essentially.

Right. So again, that the couple naturally at home their triggers for their emotional well-being or mindset are going to be the ovulation are we having intercourse, you know, during the ovulation time? Is somebody traveling during that time? And if you miss that window, then you tend to have some resentment about what's happening or that partner of this is your fault, because, you know, now we have to wait another month and then the the time of that nine, 9 to 14 day depending window of the two week wait, as we call it, and then anticipating the the positive test or the negative test and whatever that mean may be.

So that emotional stress in and of itself can take a toll. And mainly because our society, all society's not just ours in the North America, but most societies really do make you think that, you know, growing up, you got to watch out because you're going to get pregnant, right? You just everybody's told that that's the path that happens. And then once you figure out, oh, it's not as easy, then your mind starts to play some tricks on you. And it's not just you. It's because we've been programed as a society to think, if I'm not doing this in the way that it's meant to be doing right.

You know, are the well, however you want to call it, most roles in the United States and across, say six months, for 35 and under I'm sorry, six months, for 35 and over a year for. 35 and. Under and under. Right. I always get that confused because I don't abide by that rule. So I tend to leave that out the window. But when you hit those marks, that's another thing, right? Okay. Now it's been that six months or that year and it's still not working. Is there something wrong with me? And then if somebody is going through ART or artificial reproductive technologies, that's a whole another situation of stress, right?

It's am I embryo is being fertilized. Are they coming back normal or are they not normal? Why are they normal? Are not normal? Is it my age? Is it the sperm health? What's happening there? And then you really are at an every other day, every two day, you know, waiting for that phone call of what your test results are going to be. That alone, that stress alone of waiting for those phone calls are what's happening is quite stressful, let alone if you're doing a retrieval and, you know, figuring out that there's shots.

And I always say, you know, we're not qualified to be administering these shots ourselves, but yet they're handed over to us to essentially say, here, go home and do this. So there's a lot of different stresses that come on either side of the coin. And I think just recognizing that it's normal and it's expected to be in those situations, given what we have been programed and recognizing, I do have the ability to change this, though. This does not have to be my story of going through this and a stressful way.

Yeah. And and is it is it the experience of just going through it or do you find that people do actually like take to the circumstances differently based on their capacities to deal with the stressors? I think it depends. I think the people that are more educated in mindset and all the things are able to adapt to it easier than somebody. This might be their first kind of intro into something not going as easily planned for their life right? They think, okay, I met my partner, I got married.

Mindset Shifts and Reframing Thoughts 8:06

Now we're going to have kids. And then that's their first intro to This Isn't Going Well, right? I have one client in particular. I'm thinking of. She's like, I got into the school. I wanted to I met my husband. We have a great relationship. We bought the house with that. We want to do all these things. We're going as planned. And then now on a three year journey of trying to have a baby. So this was her first intro to having a true struggle in life to recognize. I really need to get that that mindset, my muscle in place to show up for me in a really strong way.

Yeah. Yeah, I find that that's so true, especially with high achieving women is like they have really created the checklist and like I'm going to hit this goal and then this goal and then this goal and then fertility is just a whole new curve ball that no one ever plans for. Right. Right. Like, oh, this was just supposed to happen. Knew it was there need to be in this phase for three, five? How many every year. Years that it ends up taking. Right. And that's exactly it. It's that those type A high achievers think if I just do all these things, it's going to work out.

And unfortunately, that's not always the case. And unfortunately, we we do put that in mindset and the work on ourselves at the bottom of that list until we get to that point of real desperation of recognizing, okay, I have checked all the boxes of everything I've been to every naturopath I've been to, every medical doctor, I've been to, the acupuncturist, all the things. The only thing left is to really work on myself in the mindset and unfortunately, because at that point too, they are so down the rabbit hole of depression and sadness and despair because they want this more than anything rightfully so.

I don't I say this all the time. I don't care if you're 21 or 41 or 51, if that is something that you're yearning for, that's still that's going to pain you. And you're in your heart for something that you're not able to to achieve. And that's the thing. If even Olympic athletes. Right, they're like, I can train and qualify for the Olympics. But I cannot do this to conceive a child. You know, it's it's really a situation where it puts everything out the window that you've ever known about working hard to do something.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are times where people can put all those things in place and turn things around and get pregnant easily. So for sure, I'm the first one to to say that that is possible. But there are those cases where people come to us that, you know, they really have done everything and we need to work from a different place of recognizing, does this belong to you? Is it something that's, you know, a DNA genetic lineage? BLOCK That's not even yours? Maybe it's a great, great grandmothers.

BLOCK Around fertility and and pregnancy and or birth or something like that. We forget sometimes that in years past, people would lose babies. Quite often they would miscarry sometimes without even knowing what's going on. And so there is this imprint, a DNA imprint, and most of us that we're not even aware of. So that is part of the work that we do, is to clear that and unblock some of those subconscious beliefs through a modality we call psych in order to help people to release some of these thoughts, whether they're from their own lineage or something.

They read somewhere at a at some point, or maybe they overheard something as a kid where their mom was talking to somebody else or whatever it may be. And so those things can really affect us, whether we recognize it or not, but only when you're at a point of the that trying to figure out what else underlies right underneath the rocks do we see, okay, there's something else there that we need to work through. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So you mentioned psych. What are some practical like tools or strategies that people can use to manage the emotion and stressors and anxiety that is coming up during this time period?

I always say, keep a note in your phone. Recognize the recurring thoughts that you you always have. We always you when you're laying in bed or you're driving your car, you know those thoughts that you're having. Maybe it's your too old. Maybe it's, you know, whatever it may be. Everybody has their own stuff and it doesn't even necessarily need to be around fertility. It can also be just around life, maybe it's a relationship. I see a lot of situations where sister in laws come up. Ironically, it could be anything but recognize the recurring thoughts that you have in your head.

And next thing to that is that thoughts serving you right? The thoughts that we have create our feelings. When we have that feeling that creates the action that we take or that we don't take in our life. And then that action or inaction is the result of how we show up in our life, whether that's through illness or success or whatever it may be. But it all goes back to what is that thought or a sentence in your head, because that thought or sentence then creates the feeling and the feeling dictates everything.

We have the ability to choose the feeling that we're having and the thought that that we're having. So that's a first step, is just having this awareness. Okay, I'm thinking about my age. Is that serving me? Is that a good thought? Is it a bad thought? You know, let's say I'm 41. I'm going to think I'm too old to be having kids naturally. Or I can think I'm 41. I'm actually way better off than I was when I was 21. I'm going to be a much better parent than I was earlier. I have an amazing partner now that I didn't have then.

There's a lot of places that we can turn those thoughts around and change that neuron that in our brain instead of It's never going to work. I'm never going to have a healthy baby. Nobody else around me is having babies naturally at 41, etc., etc. Those thoughts just don't feel good for our body and that's where it starts to overtake things. Now again, going back to the subconscious mind and Reprograming is with the psychic, that's different. So if we take those thoughts that we have, we're able to essentially reprogram them, take the right brain, left brain, pull them together in a whole brain state and reprogram that so that you no longer have those thoughts that are not serving you in the best and highest possible way for everybody involved, really.

So that's that's something that you can find a psychic facilitator in your area. You can do those remotely with any provider that's been practicing for a while. But I would say the first thing would just be having that recognition of the thoughts that you have and are they serving you? Yeah, that's awesome. That's a really good tool because it just says it's about awareness. It's about starting with recognizing where am I and what are these things that are happening in the background in my head that are maybe showing up in different ways in my body? 100%.

And even if that's the doctor, right, you're not comfortable with your doctor or you're. Should I be seeing a naturopath? I don't know. And you should I go the natural route. I don't know. Look into that. Right. Because that's something that's your intuition. That's something in you. That is a recurring thought that's trying to give you a message of something. So listen to those. And I think often when we're on a fertility journey, we all of that intuition goes out the window. But those recurring thoughts, although sometimes are not healthy for us, they can also be healthy.

So having that awareness, like you say, is a serving me is it not? Is there a message here that I should be taking away and leaning into that either way to say, okay, this is I want to go this direction or I don't want to go this direction. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah, absolutely. Are there other strategies or tools that you find super helpful? Conscious language is very helpful. People don't even recognize how they speak about their bodies, about their lives, about anything that's going on. So, again, back to the awareness.

How am I speaking about my body when I'm talking about this? I had a client a couple of weeks ago and she said, I'm a little bit worried that this is going to destroy my body when I get pregnant. I was like, Oh, it made me cringe. I get goosebumps even saying that that word destroy is really heavy, you know?

Practical Tools for Stress and Self-Care 17:00

So having this conscious language about being aware of how we're speaking about our body and about everything in our life, maybe you would say I'm a little concerned that it's not going to be as easy as I would like it to be. That feels very different then I'm worried it's going to destroy my body, right? Yeah. And those words have so much power to our body and how our body functions. And again, when we're, you know, maybe you're taking supplements or maybe you're taking medications in order to stimulate for a retrieval or whatever it may be for yourself, but recognize in everything that you say, even when you're saying this project is killing me, what does that message sending to your to your body, to your soul, everything as opposed to again, this isn't as easy as I thought it would be, right?

You're focusing on the word easy rather than on the negative. So I think those things also are just something that once we have awareness in our life in general, we can correct that in all areas. I even hear my kids and correct them all the time because we don't those words carry so much weight of, you know, I don't even like to say them anymore and can't really think of examples even. But instead of saying horrible all right, I feel crappy or whatever it is, just find an alternative way to say that in a sense, that it's coming back to your body and feeding your your body and your soul and knowing that everything is okay and it might not look the way that we thought it was going to look.

But if we use that conscious language as we're moving forward, it's going to be so much more healthy for you as well as creating. I talk about all the time, we're trying to create a human life when we're creating, okay, when we're in a fertility journey. So what can we do to create every day and having that awareness of am I creating a recipe? Am I creating art through coloring books? There are so many beautiful coloring books out now, right? For adults played out I have at my desk just to mess around with anything that you're creating every day is showing the universe God, whatever, that you have that ability to create.

And we tend to again cut that off when we're on this fertility journey because we feel like we just can't take anything more on we're so stressed. All we can think about is when are we ovulating? What are we going to do next if we're doing IVF and all the things. So opening yourself up to that feminine energy to create and recognizing this is the natural state of your being, and how do we get back to that? That can look different for everybody. Some people it's writing, some people it's meditation and journaling.

I would just be cautious if you feel that meditation and journaling and those more traditional things don't fit you at that time. Don't force yourself to do that because that will end up causing you more stress. I know a lot of people that are like, I don't know how to meditate. I'm, you know, and then they get stressed about being stressed because they're trying to do the thing to make it better. And then it ends up, you know, being this alternative way. And so you take baby steps. It's find what works for you.

That's the beautiful thing about making your own path is it can be going for a walk. It can be listening to music that takes you back to high school and you could just shake your booty and you're not thinking about all the stress of life, you know, really get back to connecting to yourself and your soul and being more conscious, consciously aware of all the things around you. And I love that what you're talking about actually has me thinking about a book I'm listening to right now, which is like so off topic but irrelevant.

Okay, think it's called tinkered dabbled doodled. Try something like oh okay. And his main point is like when we're hyper focused, our brain is only doing that thing and it narrows its abilities because we're hyper focused. But when we expand or when we I'm rephrasing it in my words. Yeah, like our unfocused, like intentionally unfocused. It actually gives the brain time to relax. So meditation falls into that. But I love what you just said about Plato about are about food as our whatever you want is like whatever you enjoy.

Right. That time to be unfocused really helps the brain to like hit the reset button. I love it. Yeah. So absolutely. Thank you for sharing that because I think more and more people need to hear those types of messages because we do live in such a world that everything we do, we feel we do have to be hyper focused. Right? And so we lose all things otherwise, right? So I love that, especially for those of us even that have children, it's you know, it's really it's a lot easier to see it through them and to kind of be forced into playing make believe or doing all those those sorts of things.

But when you're trying to get to that point and you don't have that to kind of force your hand, eventually it's going back to your self of what is it that's going to light me up? What is it that's going to make me expand rather than contract? And I think that's another thing recognizing as this person make me expand our contract, does it does this book make me expand or contract and really just honing in on those abilities for ourselves to tap into this. This feels good to me and this doesn't feel good to me.

And really honing in on where those where those belong in your life. I can almost envision like couples hearing us and being like, Oh, well, it doesn't make me feel good to eat healthy food. I'm just going to eat it. What would you say to that? I get it. But also, I think that's where it comes down to understanding food at its whole being. Right. And what it's doing for us. Right. So especially when you're on a fertility journey and you're trying to create this amazing, healthy embryo, right? It's like, okay, am I going to eat?

I don't even want to use the word sacrifice, but can I do this for this period of time to know that everything that I'm doing within these six months to a year to get ready for my baby and get all my cells good is going to be worth it 100%. And also 8020 rule is a good way to live by right. If you can do it 80% of the time and 20% say I'm going to, you know, eat something that sounds good to me or feels better for me than a bowl of vegetables or whatever it may be. Then do that, because, again, we go back to that mindset and if the food is going to be causing you more stress to follow such a strict diet, you really do want to figure out what is it for you that you can do in order to keep that balance?

Because a lot of people do come to the table with issues around food, whether it's body dysmorphia or eating disorders or other things prior to having children. So food can definitely be a trigger for a lot of people. And at the same time, we do know that when we are eating unprocessed whole foods, it really does help ourselves grow in a better way. So I think that's where it just comes back down to like science and the data and you know, you can deny it all you want, but the reality is it does help our bodies.

So thinking about your future baby and your future self, three years down the line, where would you rather be? Yeah, yeah. Good. Good point. Good way to frame it, because I think that comes up a lot. You know, like from providers that talk about intuition or accessing that like creative energy or do a feel good. Right? And they instantly then do what feels good goes into well, but I feel good when I eat my junk food. It's good to always remember. And I also think of it as like what feels good in the moment may not be actually what feels good, right?

So when you have that period of time where you're like, okay, I'm focusing on eating better, doing all the things that are supporting my fertility and simultaneously remembering that it may not feel good to have to cook every day, but it may feel good in my body to have good food, right? So it's like that recognizing which feel good are you going for? You're going for that. Like what? What's the deeper feel good. 100%. And and looking to the future. Right. It's bigger than just eating that candy bar or something, right?

Like that feels good in the moment. And maybe it is a matter of talking to somebody again around a psychic balance to do in order for you to feel I'm not drawn to the foods that are not healthy for me anymore. I am. It's easy for me to to pick up something that nourishes my body. Right. Some people really do need that reprograming for their brain because they are so used to going the other direction for whatever reason. There's a lot of reasons why why people may choose food that's not so healthy, but it is possible to to get your your brain to be programed, to go the other direction.

And I think recognizing where does that stem from? Is it just because or is it because you had some issues around food growing up? Is it because you are trying to escape another feeling and that's that covers that up. So sometimes there might be more to it than what we're just thinking. But if you feel that having those foods that support you during this time is too difficult, you might want to look a little bit deeper at that because it really is helping to serve the bigger, longer purpose for you and your future children to come.

So I would I would certainly look into that. If you're if you feel some resistance to your practitioner saying, okay, we want to try to go down this route, why why are you having the resistance to that? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. All good points. Yeah. Let's shift a little bit into mental health and self-care, which is crucial when dealing with fertility issues. Could you suggest some self-care practices that can help individuals maintain a healthy, emotional state while they're trying to conceive?

Yes, I think for most people, connecting to that essence energy, that is you. Because again, we tend to lose that when we just as we're adults, right. We're living in a very like do do do mentality. There's not a lot of time for self-care or whatever. We feel like we actually are blocking our account calendars out to do, but especially when you're on a fertility journey to to make this just as important as taking your supplements. I know people don't miss those supplements. No way. No how they're going to take those every day and they're really religious at that.

Also, what is that self-care going to look like for you? And figuring out what works and and kind of having a toolbox so that if one day you feel like you don't want to meditate, you know, you can go to the three other things that you know are going to feel good for you. Maybe that day it is just sitting on the couch and watching Netflix because you never let yourself do that. But knowing what is going to fill me up, what's going to expand my energy and what's going to pour back into that self-care, it could be just laying on the floor, a hand on your heart to hand on your womb, and taking some deep breaths, closing your eyes and taking that minute.

Very rarely do we stop to do that. I'm not saying it has to be a full meditation because a lot of people cringe when they hear that word. But just within yourself, right, listening to your body for 60 seconds, what do I need to know right now? Where do I need to go right now?

Hope, Social Evidence, and Alternative Paths 29:30

You really don't need to go or do anything except to be here in this moment. What is self-care mean for some people that's going to get their nails done and their hair done? For other people like me, I would do anything except those things like that. But that's different for everybody, and that's why I like to use that as an example, if that is what makes you feel good and you consider self-care, okay, great. But also, what are the things every day? Is it? It could be being organized. Is self-care for you?

It could be planning your meals out for your facility or getting a meal service to say, okay, I know that I don't love to cook, but I'm going to find a meal service that is going to be healthy for me during this time. There are many, many ways to pour back into yourself with that self-care, but most importantly, what we want to achieve with self-care is, is this contributing to calming your mind, bringing your nervous system back to being regulated, making sure that the cortisol cortisol is balanced in your blood.

So figuring that out for yourself, again, whether that's going for a walk, listening to music and I say music over a podcast because we want to connect that, that part of your brain with a memory or something good and creating new memories. So we know that when you hear a song again from college or high school or something, it takes you right back to those friends or whatever it was you're doing same thing here. We want to create that part in your brain that is open up, opening up to creating. So really getting your place yourself in that place to know.

I have a lot of options of things that I can do for self-care that are going to help me towards this. Finding the people that have been down the path that you have and connecting with them say, Hey, are you open to having a weekly, 15 minute chat just to kind of keep me motivated and hopeful for my future? Because you've kind of paved the path for me and I kind of feel like you're a mentor for me. I don't know anybody on this planet that would say no to that, right? People want to help people. So if you find somebody that you can see has done something that you want to do to reach out to them, and there's many, many things.

I think it's just really finding what is self-care for you. Yeah, beautiful. For those who have faced the fertility challenges for a long time, they often find it hard, I think, to keep their hope alive or have resilience to go through the struggles that they're going through. Anything that you would you can offer to those people? Yes, I think that it kind of goes back to the social evidence. We know that we have that social evidence that it's possible. Right. So don't give up hope. You can find people that have been trying for ten years that that get pregnant, whether that's through IVF and ten rounds of IVF or whatever else that may be, or maybe it's creating their family in a way that they didn't expect to.

So I think staying open to open and curious to what else is there in front of you? Who else is there in front of you? What could this possibly look like that you didn't think it was going to look like? And then again, going back to finding somebody with that social evidence to know it's possible. Right. And I think there's so many ways people are having children now, whether it's through surrogacy, natural IVF, donor conception. I mean, it's amazing that we live in a world that it's all possible now, but also being aware that that social evidence can also in finding that social evidence, I guess I should say, can also lead us down some rabbit holes that I would say are not necessarily healthy.

So you need to make sure that you find that find your person or your your tribe, so to speak, and then release from that in the overall kind of social aspect. And just focus on those people or those groups that you know are healthy for you. Right? So if somebody was looking for, again, three babies over 40, naturally I am that person for them because that was my story. So we know that it's possible. We know that you can have four sorry, not four, three children over 40 and let that person be your hope.

Find your hope in other stories that you know is possible and then find somebody to help guide you to. Okay. If if it if I am getting to the point where it's just too much for me, I am like drained. I am devastated. I am depleted. I don't know that I can go on with this anymore. Find somebody that can help you look into alternative paths. There's many, many, many ways to be a parent now. And sometimes it's just having those conversations to say, okay, this is what it looks like for two. If you decide to go down an egg donor or a sperm donor out, this is how it works.

This is the path and be ready because it happens super fast. So if once you pull the trigger on that, it's it's fast. There is a path to adoption. There's paths to embryo adoption. There's surrogacy. There's all kinds of things. And I think a lot of times because of our past in our society, people think, Oh, I can't do IVF because I can't afford it, or I can't do surrogacy because I can't afford it, or it's against my religion to do X, Y or Z, have a conversation with somebody to to educate you on.

Here's the options. Here's what it really is. Because there is always a way where there is a will to figure something out. There's somebody who can help you and give you the resources and point you in the direction. But the bottom line is do not give up the hope because there is always hope there. If you feel that in your heart, there is always hope that that is the sign of hope when it goes away from you. That's when I would say, okay, let's look at another something else, because if that that is that flame, so to speak, is starting to diminish, then maybe we look at why is it diminishing?

Because if it's there in your heart, it will stay there. It's just don't let the circumstance override your hope, know that there's social evidence that all these things are possible and it can happen for you, too. Yeah. Love it. I love it so much, actually. Speaking of hope, I. I need to figure out how I'm going to connect with this couple, but there is a couple in Canada that is like a friend of a friend. Yeah. Who is 67. Okay. Or something like that. Like the guy is a little bit older, but he's got a baby naturally for a while.

And I was like, Wait, what? Like, I need to have a conversation. These people. Yes. I remember early in 2020, I was working with people all over the world and I started hearing these stories more and more. It wasn't in places like Canada, but it was kind of most places out in and I want to say in the wilderness. But like for foreign countries, right? Like where they're eating off the land and they really don't have stress and they're you know, and I was blown away when I was hearing like 60 year olds having children, actually.

I was like, are you sure? You're like, Oh, yeah, that's happening. Like, it happens not every day, but it does happen. And that was what really where it started to open my eyes even more of all of the the things in our society that point as to the stress that the toxins in our food, the toxins in our environment, all the things that we're doing. And then there's people walking around with things of water on their head and Africa, you know, getting their water at the well every day still and those sorts of things where they're conceiving naturally at these.

And really, I mean, here we say 30 five's advanced maternal age, 65 is advancement, right? So yeah, when you find out I want to hear their story, let me know. That's that's amazing. You try to interview them because I just I'm fascinated. Like I would love to personally meet someone that. Yes. Has that story because I've definitely heard like read a lot of things that also similar to you, like extended my mind. Like if there are people in other parts of the world that are doing this at 60, I certainly think that we can do this at 40 like.

100%. Like not not that we would want to have babies at 60 or 65, but for us, like it would be totally reasonable to 40, 40 to 45, whatever. Yes, why not? And I think it goes back to our society has told us not. Right. Right. Yeah. You know. And so we're programed with. That. Absolutely. We're so there's so much programing that we already know that our our mind and our thoughts can influence physical things in our body. So I'm programed from an early age that our fertility drops off a cliff at 35.

We're certainly going to believe it and our bodies believe it and be like, Oh, I'm 35, sorry, it's too late for sure. I always say it's like that calendar invite you get in your your inbox from somebody and you can say like accept or decline. Any thoughts like that? You just hit decline? No, thank you. I'm not going to that. And that's kind of how it was for myself is, you know, people telling me, why are you trying to have three kids over 41? You know, and I just had this knowing that my was capable of doing it and I did not buy into that.

And that is such a big part of it is just not believing that that is it is for you. Now, don't get me wrong, some people have structural issues happening and other other situations that are going on. But for a healthy person, I think having children over 40 is that's not even a thing. I mean, they really should be. And I know that they are changing that 35 number, but it's, you know, in order to get things moved along in the medical industry, it's not super easy. But I'm super curious to those stories as well.

And I do think that it really is just about our society programing to us to that. So if our society was telling us, you know, having babies at 65 is normal, people would think that's normal.

Closing Remarks and Where to Connect 40:30

Right? And you eventually just conform to that. Now, do we need to continue to keep our our health in accordance 100% right. Like you do need to do things to make sure your body is well. And that's why I say, you see 45 year olds, 65 year olds that you're like, oh, my gosh, she looks amazing. Right? That also is the internal right. Like our genetics and what's happening and what we put into our body shows up on the outside and the inside. And that's why it is so important to keep our our hormones regulated and everything because it it is a roadmap to our health, essentially.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I always love talking to you, Elizabeth. It's it's been a pleasure. Thank you so much for sharing all of your amazing wisdom around our mental and emotional health through this journey. Where can people connect with you? Thank you for having me. I love I wish we could just keep talking all day. You can find me @theofficialelizabethking on Instagram, my website. Elizabethking.com. Awesome. Well, thank you for being here. I love it. Thank you for sharing again and for everyone listening and thank you for being here.

I hope that this was helpful for you and we will see you again very soon.