Full Transcript 0:02 Hello, beautiful souls. 0:03 Welcome back to the Women's Wellness Summit. 0:06 Reclaim your energy, renew your confidence, and remember who you are. 0:11 So the intention behind this journey is to create an uplifting and an empowering experience that reminds you of what's possible for you. 0:20 We want every conversation to offer hope, fresh perspectives and practical tools that you can use right away so that, you leave feeling inspired to prioritize 0:30 yourself and take those meaningful steps towards reclaiming that energy, renewing your confidence and remembering just how amazing you are. 0:39 So before we dive in, I want to invite you guys to listen to this interview with one intention. 0:44 What is one thing from today's conversation that you can take and put into action in your own life right away? 0:51 You don't have to change everything at once. 0:53 In fact, one insight, One decision, 1 small step can create a ripple of massive change. 1:01 And I know because that's exactly how change began for me, one ripple at a time. 1:06 So I'm your host, Denise Barin, holistic practitioner, energy healer, spiritual life coach. 1:11 And my passion is all about empowering women. 1:15 It's really that simple. 1:16 Guiding them back to that light and the power within themselves. 1:21 So I choose to create a world filled with love, freedom, and peace. 1:26 And I believe that that world begins inside each one of us. 1:30 So, I'm on a mission to spread that love that freedom that joy that courage that belief one woman at a time across the globe and across galaxies. 1:40 Joining me in this mission today is Dr. 1:42 Audrey Schnell and she's here to chat with us about how to stop stopping yourself. 1:49 Hmm, Dr. 1:51 Audrey is a coach, a speaker who helps high achieving professionals stop getting in their own way and do what makes them truly happy. 2:01 With a background in clinical psychology and research, Audrey brings a rare blend of rigorous science and practical insight to personal growth. 2:11 She and her husband homestead on a 117 acre farm in rural West Virginia. 2:17 So welcome, Dr. 2:18 Audrey. 2:19 Thank you so much. 2:20 So much, Denise. 2:22 It's so great to have you. 2:23 I appreciate it. 2:24 And I'm honored to be here. 2:25 Yeah, it's an honor to comparing stories of acreage living and all the things that come along. 2:35 How many jars of beets we've had. 2:38 And relish and the chickens and, all of the thing. 2:43 A great conversation, but coming back to what we're here to talk about today. 2:48 Before we dive in, I would really love to know, what is it about your work specifically that makes you believe that women's lives truly can change? 3:02 My own experience, the experience of my clients, and over 50 years of helping women, helping men change, studying how and why we change. 3:20 And it's not changed. 3:23 isn't easy. 3:24 We resist change because at a very primitive level, change is dangerous. 3:30 And so self-sabotage really comes from not a fear of success or a failure, but a fair of the unknown. 3:37 Anything new is potentially dangerous and so our survival brain our inner child, what I call our Inner Toddler kicks in. 3:49 And the smarter you are, the more clever you're at finding ways to stop yourself. 3:59 That looks like excuses, it looks self doubt, lack of confidence, all the logical reasons why we shouldn't move forward to live to our full potential. 4:15 And I imagine this journey is different for everybody. 4:18 It's different. 4:19 For everybody and a couple of things. 4:22 Knowledge is never enough. 4:24 If knowledge were enough, nobody would smoke. 4:28 Now people just don't respond. 4:30 Yes, knowledge is necessary, but it's not enough always. 4:35 Typically we all know what we should eat. 4:38 We all should go to bed early. 4:39 You know, floss our teeth. 4:44 but often find ourselves going, I know what to do, but I'm not doing it. 4:50 So what is it that causes that inside of us to be like, Oh, no, what I should do. 4:56 But I going to eat three servings of chocolate cake instead. 5:01 I don't know that there's any one thing, But at the core, it's the sphere of change. 5:07 Who will I be? 5:09 If I do all these things, if I change my life and some of it is, you know, habit, I don't buy totally into this whole rewiring idea. 5:20 I think it comes from, what we learned from stroke victims, but it's habit. 5:27 It's, we, once I read this a long time ago and it so true, growing up runs counter to the laws of gravity. 5:37 And it's similar to change just isn't natural. 5:44 We want instant gratification. 5:47 we want comfort. 5:51 Not to be in pain. 5:52 Were more motivated by loss and immediate gratifications than we are by Pleasure or future rewards. 6:03 And so sometimes I think it's really almost like grace, a gift that gets us to to change, to see something and go, oh, I never thought of it like that. 6:18 I'm going to do it this way instead. 6:21 whether it's a push from other people, whether its seeing somebody doing something we want to do or don't want do and the light bulbs go off, 6:31 but transformation doesn't, you know, come in a flash. 6:35 It feels like it comes into a flesh sometimes, insight has to lead to a change in action. 6:46 That's why I think if I were to give, uh, jump ahead a little bit and give your audience one, I guess, one piece of advice. 6:57 And that is in the personal growth world, we hear so much of, and tell me if this resonates with you, you have to be who you want to, 7:07 be to do what you wanna do to have what. 7:11 So it's this big do have model. 7:14 that I think many of us have heard over and over again. 7:18 And I would stress that many times, if not most of the time, it needs to be the do be half model. 7:31 We have to do the things we wanna do to instill in ourselves who we are. 7:39 We want the evidence, we want to prove. 7:41 And it doesn't have to be major, but it's really hard. 7:47 You have run if you want be a runner. 7:50 you have write if want a be writer. 7:53 Our brains work from interpreting our own behavior. 7:58 So when we actually do something that's in line with who want It reinforces it in our brain. 8:11 So if you can shift into the do, be, have model of change, and it doesn't have to be a big do. 8:23 But if want to, you know, a fitness person, do some movement every day. 8:29 Reinforce that's who you are. 8:32 And we skip the behavior piece. 8:35 So it's interesting that you say that the Be Do Have model is something slightly newer to me within the last few years. 8:44 And while I can see your point of view, I also understand the be do have because if you want to do the things that are going to create you into who you 8:54 wanna be and where you go, you still have to have some idea of who want be. 8:59 Yeah, you do. 9:00 But sometimes the behavior has to come first. 9:04 So what you're saying is that behavior, behavior I want to be a healthy person. 9:21 I wanna be speaker. 9:25 Somebody who values exercise. 9:28 You can sit there and be all you wanna, but until you actually start performing some of those behaviors, That's why I think it's really dangerous sometimes 9:41 for people to go, oh, if I was only more confident, I'd get up on stage. 9:47 Well, confidence comes from doing things. 9:52 And it's a feeling, so it comes and goes, but we have a lot of things backwards sometimes. 9:58 And so I think it, I mean, and I'm a thinker, that little sculpture thing could be my holy grail, the thinkers. 10:08 But the truth is we to do the things, we had to experience them. 10:15 We have to build our identity on something we've done. 10:22 that reinforces it. 10:24 Even if it's only, you know, I walked around the block every day. 10:28 Well, then you're- Something small, right? 10:30 Something's small. 10:30 It doesn't have to be big. 10:31 You don't to like jump out of an airplane, but you have incorporate the small actions that bring about the shifts. 10:40 Towards the direction that you want to go towards the vision that. 10:44 And identity is powerful so I'll give you an example of the reverse. 10:51 You know people say you know I just can't you now I can force myself to eat healthy. 10:59 Well, and I'll say, when you walk into a store, do you have to force yourself not to steal something? 11:07 People are like, well, no, I don't have force myself not steal. 11:11 I'd never steal, why? 11:13 Because you know you're not a thief. 11:16 So when we can align our identity and our behaviors, you I'm a healthy person. 11:24 And I drive through McDonald's. 11:26 If anybody saw me drive to McDonalds, they'd be shocked. 11:30 unless it was my husband who was driving. 11:32 But that's another story. 11:34 When we can align those things, there's a synergy. 11:41 So identity is crucial. 11:44 Yes, sometimes in a way it's the be and do, but you have to do the behaviors to reinforce that, to build that identity. 11:53 We know who we are by what we do. 11:58 And when we experience that, what we call cognitive dissonance of doing something that doesn't align with our values, this all goes back to values. 12:09 Then that's a guiding light for us. 12:13 So change comes from that spark by that insight followed by action. 12:25 I would love to know. 12:29 In your perspective, in your opinion, I should say. 12:33 So my summit is all about women's wellness, right? 12:35 And again, we had talked before in our meeting, like so broad, but what does women wellness really mean to you? 12:42 and how does that fit in with I guess, the identity shift that may get to happen or need to happened for someone to stop stopping themselves from what 12:56 they want? 12:57 Oh, God, I think it's really a component of many, many pieces. 13:03 It's identity. 13:05 We throw on that word empowerment, but it is having self-trust, agency, knowing what we deserve. 13:15 Women carry the cognitive load so much. 13:22 in the house. 13:23 It's like when I asked my husband to do something and he says, well, just remind me. 13:27 Well, then it's still on my to-do list. 13:31 I don't want to remind you. 13:33 Anyway, I think it so many things, but wellness, it is physical health, mental health and emotional health. 13:42 Each one of those things requires us to to be aware that we have to take care of ourselves. 13:52 We have have good boundaries. 13:53 I'll talk about that more later. 13:55 we do the things that make us feel good. 13:59 have a sense of self-worth, self trust, our own health. 14:06 Self-care goes out the window when we're busy. 14:12 And you don't earn rest. 14:13 You don' self care. 14:15 They have to be non-negotiables, they have be part of the equation, not an afterthought. 14:21 And I'm as probably guiltier than anybody who's listening that, you know, self-care goes out the window when we get busy because it never feels in that moment, 14:34 we're back to immediate gratification and loss, it ever feels like we are shortchanging ourselves, but we aren't. 14:44 Yeah, we are. 14:45 And yeah, self-worth self trust, the more we can get out of our own way and do the things we know we should do, The more our self esteem grows, 14:59 and it compounds. 15:04 When you keep your word to yourself, I think that's the basis of of growing that self esteem that so trust, self confidence that keeps us growing, 15:20 moving to what we want, and we start with small steps. 15:24 So do you think that in the biggest thing that women are doing that are, you know, stopping them from really reaching for the life that they want? 15:34 Is that again, going back to the fear of change? 15:37 fear of change and putting everybody else first. 15:40 As cliche as that sounds, it's cliche for a reason. 15:48 So Dr. 15:49 Audrey, what can women do to stop stopping themselves? 15:57 Pick one small area to improve, even if it's just, I give myself five minutes a day to sit and relax. 16:15 I nourish myself, eat good food, move my body, start with sleep, get good sleep if you don't do anything else. 16:28 Get good sleep. 16:30 You can't function when you're tired. 16:32 you can make good choices when your tired, you cant take care of yourself when were tired so the first place to start is with good Sleep. 16:44 I can already hear the listener saying but Dr. 16:47 Audrey I've tried all the things and I still can sleep I have terrible sleep my energy is crap I wake up in the morning feeling unrested What can you share 16:59 for them? 17:00 Well, then you have to start to look at the whole package. 17:03 And of course, age is a factor. 17:06 But what's keeping you up? 17:11 Is it the to-do list? 17:14 You know how we see in little kids, they get overtired and get crabby. 17:20 So how late at night are you eating? 17:23 Just go back to the basics. 17:28 Stop eating at least two hours before you go to bed. 17:33 Pick a bedtime and stop working not at when everything is done, but at six o'clock. 17:43 Don't wait and nothing's ever gonna be done. 17:45 Life's never gonna slow down. 17:47 So stop using that as a metric. 17:51 Go to bad early. 17:53 If you've got tons of things on your mind, do a brain dump before you go to bed. 17:58 Yes. 18:00 But, and it takes time. 18:01 It's not like, oh, you're going to go sleep tonight and everything will change. 18:04 No, but you got to build up those health habits. 18:10 Just the simplest basic things. 18:13 Brush your teeth. 18:15 Wash your face, wash your hands, get into bed. 18:20 Don't, you know, don't stare at the screen. 18:22 Well, I just want to watch the end of this show. 18:25 It'll be on tomorrow. 18:28 Parent yourself, be a good, if your listeners only take one thing from my talk. 18:37 I would say be good parent to yourself. 18:40 Put yourself to bed, put yourself on time. 18:45 We all know how well kids relate to and need routine. 18:50 Yeah. 18:52 And they do so well at it. 18:53 Then somewhere along the way, it's like we become, I'm going to use air quotes, adults. 18:58 All of a sudden that schedule and that routine goes out the window. 19:02 We're on our phones drinking coffee at five o'clock in the afternoon or pushing ourselves, doing all the things. 19:12 It doesn't support know, setting the body up for moving into a nice restful period. 19:19 Yeah, I mean, people make fun of my husband still makes fun because I go to bed at eight o'clock. 19:24 I'm up at five farm life, but I got a bit of data clock. 19:28 And always, you know and we all have different needs for sleep, But everybody needs sleep and needs good sleep. 19:37 And it, you know, have you moved during the day? 19:40 What have eaten? 19:41 You know just the basics. 19:46 We have to start with the basic, but yeah. 19:48 It doesn't need to be any more complicated than that. 19:50 No, no life is, life as simple people are complicated, But we need take care of ourselves. 19:57 we really do. 19:57 And we don't. 20:01 I don' care what anybody says, I still think women are are more vulnerable to taking care of others and letting themselves go. 20:10 know, and I think it really comes to light when you, you know someone like yourself or myself who has animals, we have farms, 20:18 live things that depend on, not just children, but many other women listening will have families and children and stuff, 20:27 they need to be on a schedule, right? 20:30 When you're feeding your cows and you are trying to support them before they go into calving, every single day at the same time they are so routine and 20:39 it's hilarious to watch the cows move you know about their day they move out from pasture pasture whatever but they always know somehow that it is getting 20:47 towards three o'clock and its time to eat and they all make their way and stand there waiting for their food to arrive oh yeah its like they have this 20:56 internal like nature just has this clock that knows what it needs and what supports it best and yet us as humans and I'm really just actually going to 21:05 say women It's like we feel the internal clock, but we snort, snooze. 21:13 Well, when you said that about the cows, I thought my chickens, my hens, as soon as it starts to get dark, they know they just march into their coop and 21:25 go roost or go into the nesting boxes. 21:31 And yeah, you know, nature does support us if we let it. 21:37 And yes, we all have a lot to do, but we, all know you can't do a good job when you're habitually chronically tired and we're like, 21:47 I don't know why I'm so tired. 21:49 Well, You need sleep, rest, and you need the right food. 21:54 Yeah. 21:56 and an environment that supports it. 21:58 All you need to do is go to the local grocery store and know the world is working against you. 22:08 And so we do, we have to be strong enough. 22:11 We have be rested enough to resist, I guess, and to build an environmental that support us. 22:18 I mean, you and I are lucky we live in nature. 22:21 we don't have like drive an hour, We just have walk out our door. 22:25 but we all do what we can, but it starts with just the basics. 22:30 Good sleep, rest. 22:32 Rest is not earned. 22:34 The rest is as much a non-negotiable as sleep and the right foods and an environment that starts to support us. 22:46 If you don't want to eat cookies, don t buy them. 22:51 Don't, you know, sometimes, and now we can order grocery so we're not even in the store to be, well, I can't order groceries because nobody will deliver 22:59 to me, but a lot of people can. 23:00 And so, it's even easier in a way you're seeing things that tempt you. 23:07 So keep it out of the house if you can Yeah, that's a, really a simple way to support yourself. 23:16 Don't buy the thing. 23:17 It's lethal when you have them in the house. 23:21 Yeah. 23:22 Yes. 23:23 We all know that. 23:26 Now you said something at the beginning of this interview that I want to wrap around back to so I don't forget before we move on. 23:31 You were talking about change and the fear of change. 23:34 What popped into my head as you were taking about that is the seasons. 23:38 And you know, nature changes. 23:42 I mean, I guess depending on which hemisphere you live in. 23:46 We have the four seasons, we experience them all where we are, but there are parts of the world where they don't have a winter necessarily like we would 23:55 describe winter. 23:56 It's all just kind of hot all the time. 23:58 Or it's Christmas in the summer, which just when I was in that South Pacific, it was like these people have Christmas and the Summer. 24:06 Isn't it a rule that Christmas is supposed to be in It's the same time of year, but this is a different season. 24:17 Yeah. 24:17 So I was, I, was reflecting as you were sharing, it was like, you know, if we could just get on board with understanding that change happens. 24:32 Um, uh, what's, the word I'm, um, searching for like cyclically or Regularly and that change is not something to be feared. 24:42 I mean, if you think about winter, you know, or fall, even, all the leaves are dying off. 24:48 the trees shed their their leaves everything kind of goes dormant and takes a little nappy nap for the winter and then it always comes back alive again 24:56 and if we could look at ourselves is that you know as i'm approaching maybe a change maybe there's a desire of you, know needing to want something different 25:05 in your life right if you can look, at changes you. 25:07 know it's just like i am just shedding my leaves iIm going to take a. 25:11 little resty rest and. 25:12 then i'M going, to come back a live again with. 25:16 a new perspective or a, I don't know if I would say identity, but like a desire for where I want to go in my life. 25:26 And change doesn't have to be something that we fear. 25:29 It can be some we embrace. 25:32 Yeah. 25:33 I think when we talk about the seasons, one of the things we know is we don t fear summer because we no fear winter because spring is coming. 25:45 My mom fears the summer and it welcomes the winter. 25:51 Yeah. 25:52 I'm not a hot person, but we know what's coming. 25:56 You know, we, so again, it's that self trust. 26:00 And I read something and I'll share it with the audience that really hit me and had to practice it. 26:07 This let, I have to keep remembering it and i'll tell you why. 26:11 That it is not stress that stresses us. 26:16 It's our ability to handle the things that stress us. 26:25 And when you know you can deal with something, so I was really stressed out. 26:30 There was a lot going on. 26:31 I traveling, I'm sick. 26:34 Some things were coming up that I had to take care of. 26:37 and I thought, why am I stressing about this? 26:41 I know I can handle it. 26:44 You know, I have the tools, the skills, and the support to handle it. 26:49 And it just really brought home to me again that it's not the stressor that is the distress. 26:56 It's our ability to deal with the stresses that mitigates the sense of stress. 27:09 Sorry, I was just gonna say or to trust yourself that you find a way you'll cope. 27:13 Yeah, yeah, like I can remind myself I I've survived every shitty day so far chances are I'll survive the next hard day. 27:25 But that comes from trust that come from keeping our word to ourselves. 27:30 It comes form taking care of ourselves again we're back to Health, sleep, rest, good sleep good rest good food, nourishing our relationships, 27:44 nursing our brain, learning, knowing what we value. 27:48 And what's linked to longevity more than anything else is happiness. 27:58 I would absolutely agree with that. 27:59 He who's happy wins. 28:02 Doing what makes us happy. 28:06 and taking care of ourselves. 28:07 You can't, you know, I get the older you get, the more you appreciate good health and that it's never too late, to start taking of yourself and doing and 28:23 being and having what you want. 28:26 Self-worth, self-trust, Self Esteem, they matter. 28:32 They really, really matter I love what you shared there just about happiness because, well, I mean, i would invite the listeners right now just to do maybe 28:43 a quick once over of, you know, in your mind real quick and just ask yourself, are you happy? 28:49 Are you in happy in you job, your career? 28:52 are happy you position in that? 28:55 happy your marriage and your relationships? 28:58 Are you happy with the, you know, connection that you have with your kids or with you, the others in your family? 29:03 Are your happy? 29:04 With your friends circle, right? 29:06 Because if there's, if any of that is like not a complete, absolute yes, then there needs to be a shift that happens because what is life worth living? 29:16 If you're not happy, what you doing? 29:18 And, and I would not to disagree, but it's a subtle difference because I think there are things that we do that don't necessarily make us happy. 29:28 but we do them because they're part of the equation. 29:33 I'm fortunate I have a job I love, but not everybody has that. 29:39 But you can still be happy. 29:41 You can to define what happiness is for you and when you CAN choose happiness. 29:51 We can't necessarily do it all the time. 29:54 And we certainly have all have had our traumas to deal with. 29:59 I'd say, you know, in practice, In theory, happiness is a choice in practices. 30:05 Can we always choose happiness? 30:08 No, but when we can, Choose happiness. 30:13 And maybe, you know, they're all, like I said, there are all things we have to do that don't necessarily make us happy in that moment or that we don' enjoy, 30:23 we work that, that doesn't make u happy. 30:29 But when you can choose happiness, choose hapiness. 30:36 Do you not think that happiness is something that could be chosen always, even when you're doing the things that maybe you don't necessarily like to do 30:43 or let you up or that you are passionate about, you can still be mindful and present and still choose to be happy because your outside circumstances don 30:53 t control where you were emotionally? 30:55 I think thats true and for those of you know, are there And I don't know why I need to qualify this, but you know, in certain situations where someone 31:06 has had a lot of trauma, the ideal is happiness in that moment. 31:11 Can we always choose happiness? 31:13 Maybe, maybe not, But that's the goal. 31:16 And yes, we can. 31:19 Is there pain in life? 31:21 Absolutely. 31:23 And it's not toxic happiness. 31:25 It's, oh, you should just choose happiness and you'll be happy. 31:30 But what I want to say is I think we often have more control over our moods. 31:40 than we think we do. 31:41 More control over our emotions. 31:45 Does that mean we don't grieve? 31:46 No, of course, there's real pain in this world. 31:52 There was a quote that I remember from Yoko Ono after John Lennon was murdered. 31:57 She said, she knew there was pain and life, but she thought she could just read about it in a book. 32:04 And, but there is pain in life. 32:06 And in that moment, pain is whatever it is, loss, grief, um, Pain is real, But we can work towards being a happy person of choosing happiness when we Can 32:22 of happiness being our North star, even if we're not always there. 32:28 Yeah. 32:29 It's the realization that we We can work towards that. 32:35 Absolutely. 32:35 Yeah. 32:37 And choose it when we can. 32:38 Excuse me. 32:41 Work towards being able to choose more and more of the time. 32:47 I completely agree. 32:47 Yep. 32:49 The more that you're conscious of what you are choosing for yourself, the more present you get to be in really what you're creating and generating for 33:00 your life. 33:01 Yeah. 33:01 If you choose to engage in the drama, if you chose to engaged in that gossip, If You choose too, um, you know, bitch about your neighbor to your other 33:11 neighbor or to Your spouse, engaging in, in behaviors that aren't necessarily supporting the energy or the frequency of happiness. 33:22 And I think sometimes, you know, this in this world, we've done people a disservice, go live your passion, well, first of all, 33:30 I don't think passion is a good hallmark or there wouldn't be like a 50% divorce rate still. 33:37 Passions and emotion, but you have choices, not everybody, There are lots of musicians who would love to be full-time musicians or full time writers, 33:49 and they're not. 33:51 Does that mean they can't be happy that they should be miserable because they are not living their passion? 33:57 No. 34:01 So I think we have to, you know, some of these directives, like, oh, just live your purpose, live you passion, find your We get to choose happiness. 34:18 When we can, we get choose to happiness I think there's a couple different definitions really of what passions can mean because for some it's, 34:28 you know, they take it into say their workspace, right? 34:33 They become an entrepreneur to do what they love to to, you know, because unfortunately in the world we live in, we do need money, 34:41 right? 34:43 It is what it is. 34:44 We're no longer on a trade system. 34:45 Maybe we'll go back to it one day, in this world right now. 34:49 You're now in good shape. 34:52 Somebody's got to be working and someone has to make some money. 34:56 But, then there's those people that can create and be in their passion just for the fun of it. 35:03 Yeah. 35:04 And it's not something that becomes, you know, something they need to do to, to support themselves. 35:10 It literally is just their passion because they just love to it and it makes them feel good. 35:15 Yeah, I mean, i'm very fortunate. 35:17 I love what I do. 35:17 Mm hmm. 35:18 Love the work I Do. 35:20 But not everybody, has that opportunity. 35:24 i m grateful for it. 35:27 but that doesn't mean you can't be happy. 35:29 That doesn t mean You failed if you're not, working as a as a musician or as an actor, you still get to do the things that make you happy. 35:46 And that was one thing I learned very early on, and it's always stuck with me. 35:53 Man's search for meaning, Viktor Frankl. 35:57 When I one thing that has always stuck with me, you don't wait till you're happy to do things. 36:03 You do the things that make you happy. 36:06 Absolutely. 36:08 Whatever silly thing. 36:10 That is, so here's a question I'll answer. 36:13 Audrey, what's the silliest thing you do that makes you happy? 36:20 And this sounds so dumb, but I really value my surroundings. 36:28 So anytime I walk down the road, I will take a plastic bag with me and pick up trash. 36:34 And it sounds so like, oh, that sounds gross. 36:37 It makes me happy. 36:39 I feel like I'm caring for the land. 36:41 Yeah. 36:41 That makes feel good. 36:44 So you get to do whatever silly thing makes you happy? 36:47 Yeah, and you don't have to validate it or come up with a reason why, right? 36:52 It's just... 36:53 It what I do. 36:54 Happy. 36:54 You know, it just makes happy so I just do it. 36:59 And nobody needs to understand it because this is for you. 37:03 As long as it's not illegal, you don't have to justify it. 37:12 So is there anything else that you want to share about what women are doing that is stopping them from really living? 37:25 Yes. 37:27 Stop letting self-doubt is the sneakiest form of self-sabotage. 37:33 I'm not good enough, I don't know enough. 37:36 And too old, and too this, too that. 37:39 Know that is that inner critic that's stopping us out of fear, trying to protect us. 37:47 We are not afraid of success or failure, we're afraid to disappointment. 37:54 To a child, not getting the toy they wanted, is like death, I'll die if I don't get this. 38:03 And I think that sense of, even though we know we can tolerate disappointment, disappointment scares people more than success or failure. 38:16 So I would say, don t let self-doubt or that fear of disappointment stop you. 38:25 Recognize it as a false alarm and do the thing you want to do and start small. 38:36 Have a big goal, but make that first step really easy. 38:43 Make it, you know, your coaching language, Your goal should be out of your comfort zone, But your first Step has to be in your Comfort Zone. 38:52 Nobody runs a marathon by starting to run a Marathon. 38:56 They, They walk for 30 minutes or five minutes. 39:01 Start small, aim big, start small and be a good parent to yourself. 39:05 Even if you don't have a big parent. 39:07 I was going to say first maybe they have to go out and buy the proper walking shoes. 39:11 Like that might be step one. 39:12 Just go buy them. 39:13 Step one, get some good shoes, walk around your block, Walk for thirty seconds, walked for sixty seconds. 39:22 Do start easy. 39:24 Yeah. 39:24 And then, and then know yourself, you know, if you're somebody who responds to challenge, challenge yourself. 39:30 If you are somebody, who response to, I want to take small steps, take smaller steps. 39:36 But don't let self doubt be the thing that stops you. 39:40 Or anybody else's voice in your head. 39:42 Yeah, yeah. 39:43 The inner critic is always going to try to stop you recognize it as a false alarm. 39:52 My, uh, my, Smoke alarm, which you can't see is right outside my bathroom. 39:59 When I shower, the steam sets off the smoke alarm. 40:03 So, and it's loud. 40:05 Fire, fire, I'm like, no, you idiot. 40:09 It's not smoke, it steam. 40:12 But it doesn't matter what I say to it. 40:14 it goes off when I showered. 40:16 That's a false alarm We have a lot of false alarms. 40:23 know that voice is a false alarm, just trying to keep you safe. 40:28 And it'll never go away. 40:30 So don't try to get rid of it. 40:32 Just go. 40:32 One of my favorite sayings is when you're about to go, oh, I can't do this. 40:44 I'm not smart enough. 40:47 Um, not old enough, young enough you know, what evidence do you have? 40:53 that that's true. 40:55 And ask yourself, do I have evidence that would hold up in court? 40:59 And if you don't, then you Don't have Evidence that it's True. 41:06 I love that. 41:12 Get out of your own way. 41:13 Amazing. 41:14 Well, my dear, We have jam packed a lot in a very short time. 41:20 I sometimes go off. 41:22 It's okay. 41:23 it's beautiful. 41:24 That's all meant to be shared. 41:25 So I just wanted to leave space for you to, as we wrap up, share with the listeners about the free gift that you have for them. 41:32 Yes. 41:33 Um, I have a free. 41:34 Gift it. 41:35 A PDF that they can download. 41:36 And I know you'll share the link with them and it called win every day, 10 practices to that lead to healthy boundaries which is what we're talking about 41:49 and leads to health and wealth freedom. 41:52 Our boundaries, our personal boundaries are essential, are promises to ourselves and to others. 42:01 And I've got some great tips in there for how to create healthy boundary and hold them. 42:07 Amazing. 42:08 I know that's something that a lot of women struggle with, because we're not really taught boundaries. 42:12 We're told we are selfish. 42:16 Yes. 42:17 Or we were too sensitive. 42:20 So yeah, it really is. 42:22 It all builds on itself. 42:23 What a lovely gift. 42:24 Thank you for being generous and sharing that. 42:26 And listeners, the link below this video is to make sure you check it out on Audrey's page here. 42:32 Any last final thoughts that you'd like to leave the listeners with before we close out? 42:36 No, just to emphasize again, you deserve to have the life you want. 42:48 And it starts with taking care of yourself and being a good parent to yourself. 42:55 Perfect. 42:56 Amazing. 42:57 Thank you, Dr. 42:58 Audrey. 42:58 It's been such a pleasure chatting with you today. 43:00 I know this will not be the last conversation that we have. 43:02 No. 43:03 Not at all. 43:05 And ladies, I hope that you actually I know, i know you heard something today that reminded you that where you are right now does not have to be where 43:13 You stay. 43:14 So just one thing from this conversation one idea one tool one small step she gave you a lot and do something with it. 43:21 because you don't have to change your whole life today but you do get to begin remember that this is just one conversation in an incredible week of wisdom 43:31 healing and possibility so keep showing up for yourself keep listening and keep taking what speaks to you and just leave the rest because it wasn't meant 43:38 for you So if you'd love to keep these conversations with you long after the summit ends, you can upgrade to the VIP All Access Pass. 43:45 Of course, where you'll have all of the interviews and the V.I.P. 43:48 resources to return to whenever you need them or whenever. 43:51 You need a solid reminder. 43:53 Um, You are worth the time and you are. 43:55 Worth the investment. 43:57 It's never too late to create a life that feels so damn good to live. 44:02 So keep choosing you one small step at a time. 44:06 Much love to you all. 44:07 Thank you again, Dr. 44:08 Audrey. 44:09 It's been such a pleasure. 44:10 Many blessings and we'll see you guys in the next interview.
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