Reclaim Your Sacred Feminine: The Real Key to Longevity?

Opening Reflection on Feminine Power 0:00

But like there's a reason the egg is so ginormous compared to the sperm. And there's a reason we throw their mitochondria out. We don't need it. We need very little information. The information is in the cytoplasm. It's in the water. It's in the structure. She holds it all, right? She is the container. She is the vessel. She is the receiver, the receptacle. You give her very little and massive explosion. That's who we are. So I see an honoring and a reverence for that. And it's not like we're not better.

We're in a partnership. is Doctor Talks, real talk from real doctors on the issues that matter to you most. Hi everyone and welcome back here to Radcast where we reimagine aging as a path of power, purpose, and possibility. I'm your host Dr. Melissa Grill-Peterson and today's episode is a truly sacred invitation to come home to yourself. I'm joined by the luminous Dr. Stephanie Rimka. She's a doctor, a healer, visionary, and guide of the soul who's been helping thousands reclaim their health and wholeness through brain-based therapies and trauma-informed care, but tonight we go deeper.

As a featured voice in this year's Women's Longevity Lab at RadFest, Dr. Rimka is about to release something profoundly personal in her new book, Receive. This isn't just a book, it's a transmission. a reclamation, a remembering. And we are going to do our best to get through this episode without too many tears. But if they do come, they're going to be tears of joy, of celebration, of a life well lived. Because when we talk about longevity on this show, it's not about how long we live. It's about how fully we allow ourselves to live, love, grieve, expand and receive.

So today on this episode, tonight as we film it, We are here to explore how the sacred feminine loss and letting go can become portals to vitality, wholeness, and radical self-acceptance. So take a deep breath. Let's all drop in and get ready to be moved. Dr. Stephanie Remka, I love you. Welcome to the show. I love you so much. So for those of you who are listening or watching, we've known each other for decades. And she is my bestie, and I am hers, and we are the ride and die of each other. And I was explaining to thousands of business owners that I coach in a coaching program recently.

And obviously, this old thing we say, you're the sum of the five people that you keep closest to. And I gave you as an example. I'm like, listen, let me be clear. So here she is. She's been with me for decades. in my five and the reason she's never left is because she independently has been changing her five as well and she's been I've been growing and she's been growing and so we keep each other in the five but I was coaching about how many of their friends and family and their interactions like it doesn't mean you're you're not throwing them away yeah but if they can't keep up with where you're going then it's okay that they become number seven, eight, nine, 10 or 11, but they're not one, two, three, four, five, right?

And I was thinking about you and I was explaining it over and over again. I'm like, we have stayed in that five because we keep growing and we're doing it in our own separate paths, but yet notice how we stay with it and we've recycled people here. We both have done it. We've let people go. They're like, I love you. doesn't, I'm not pushing you, you know, and yet we keep doing it with each other. And I'm like, yeah, she's always there. So I was explaining that using you as an example. And I think it's actually thank you for that.

Thank you for because I didn't know she's just telling me real time. And it's very true. What I love is that's actually kind of a beautiful way to think about opening this up.

Friendship, Growth, and Visibility 4:18

I think so often, you know, in life, we are taught by whatever title or degree. So as a doctor, we get pigeonholed into how we're supposed to doctor what's supposed to be acceptable. we think that life is a straight line to success, to the outcomes, that there's only one path. And what I do love about our listeners and this tribe is that there is a curiosity and a knowing that more is possible. Even the idea of aging is optional, right? So if we think that things can be malleable, it is important to realize like we do often get really, hmm, comfortable.

with our surroundings and there's nothing bad with that comfort we seek comfort right we really really seek it and going through discomfort and some would say growth is uncomfortable and that's what we're going to talk a lot about today i mean you've been through such radical growth in the past six months like you you were really just put through the wringer and to see you come out the other side and so it's like to continue to grow to continue to experience greater states of aliveness More success prosperity abundant.

It's not typically acquired just staying staying put and not not allowing ourselves to expand and and realize Not everybody's gonna come with us on the same journey and that is okay, and that's nothing bad about anybody else it's just like that is evolution and that is life and so I appreciate you for helping us just to already take a moment and explore that, because that just landed hard with me. And you've been through a lot that's led you to this book. And I think before we go to the book, Steph, I want to talk about this idea of, you know, kind of, hmm, labels, expectations, because what we are opening up tonight in this container is a bigger conversation than you've ever had.

Like you said right before, man, if I could have told them my little five-year-old self, like, look who I've become. You said that right as we were getting ready to go live. and you're known as one of the most influential doctors, you are a truth teller, yet how do you go from doctoring to all of a sudden really coming into a whole new time of sacred, feminine expression, this concept of receive? Well, ultimately all it is, is I've stopped hiding. And you are a part, I mean, I'm not trying to stroke your ego.

You know I love you, and I'll stroke you any day you want, honey. I love you so much. I love you too. But you and Gary Vee, Gary Vaynerchuk, but you were the one that pushed me over to do a Facebook Live. I didn't want to do it. I liked hiding in my office. I liked hiding in my practice. I knew what I was doing mattered. I knew what I was doing made a difference. But I didn't want to be visible. I didn't want anybody to know my name. Like I don't want that. I didn't want the attention. I grew up in a very rough kind of way in Detroit.

And like, actually, attention meant you were on the crosshairs. You might get a bullet at you. So why would you? Don't do that. You don't want, you know, I never wanted to be president. Why would you want to be president? They're going to try to kill you. Like, that's a stupid idea, you know? So that's kind of what drove me. So really, though, it's just now. I have just unabashedly, unapologetically said, this is who I am. Whether it makes you comfortable or not is none of my business. I was very comfortable with the strong, aggressive, masculine, logical, left-brained way of approaching the world.

People are comfortable with that. I hid a lot of what I did clinically. Where I'm at in my 50s and where I am now with writing this book is the perfect blending of every part of who I was. It's a balance and a merging. It's that I'm done compartmentalizing myself to make anyone else comfortable. This is the truth of what, of who I am, of what this essence is that's embodying this avatar in this time and space. Here is what I have to say. So that's really what's happened and you were a person that was pushing me to become more visible, saying you're bigger than these four walls.

You're hiding here. And, and to be fair, everybody, she has turned that lesson back on me as well. She's like, you're hiding. I'm like, just hold on. All of my stuff is so well together. You know, we humans, we have this beautiful thing. We flow and we support and we reflect each other. We are mirrors. You're only bring people in that are there to, you know, I'm your hype girl. You're my hype girl. somebody said that word i'm like i got the best hype girl in the world you know and it's like when i go somewhere like i got you and when you go somewhere i got you yeah like that's where you know what i mean yeah you know there's something that's really interesting and you were going there's not necessarily there is a script uh gang that are listening and thank you guys for this but it's i had kind of this i i know some questions i want to get to ask stephanie tonight and yet i want to take a moment and really acknowledge the depth of this friendship because I believe that there's such a human lesson for us all.

Trauma, Safety, and Community 10:20

As I've shared with you over my years, one of my biggest issues is trust. And although I can show up fully, right, for everyone and everything, fundamentally it was more about like, okay, and you laugh at me and you help me to realize where I like to control things. And a big part of that was trust and safety. And one of the areas that you've always specialized in practice is trauma. And so lack of safety for whatever reasons, for whatever caused it, right, Creates a trauma in our system and then we we show up and we're wounded but we compensate and we we show up for life the best that we can and It's so interesting because you and I we've always loved each other.

We've always had this massive bond even But it hasn't always been easy. We are both we're we are strong and soft in our own ways and and the way that you love me You've helped me to to really Like trust and and I think we've done the same for each other like to go like no like this is this is a forever. We'll always be each other's five, you know, like we'll always be in that because it's kind of like we challenge each other. We push each other. We hold each other accountable even when it's not comfortable or convenient and then sometimes like I take my foot off the gas and I'll just give you a little tender warm hug and let you boo-boo right now.

I won't call you on the carpet too much and then a couple days later. Okay, come on. Let's buck up. But I have, you have helped me to come to a deeper knowing of, like, love isn't always easy. Everything in life isn't supposed to just be, again, comfortable, and not the comfortable's bad. Like, there's so much that's waiting, I think, in the depths and the fullness, and in allowing ourselves, being willing to just breathe, exhale, receive, remember, With other people and so talk to us for a moment.

I'm not gonna make this about me tonight But like you've given me so much this friendship has given me so much and I love you so much you've done a lot of trauma work over the years. Because so many of us have either big T or little T traumas, what's one of the ways in that if we find ourselves maybe in a point of, I wanna grow, I wanna expand my five, I want more aliveness, whatever is the thing that we want more of, or maybe the thing we want less of, yet we're afraid. For whatever reason, we're masking it, packaging it, and we just can't quite get the inertia and momentum to get out of it because there's something deeper.

How can you help us to appreciate trauma and where would we maybe start in a safe way to explore so that we can ultimately receive more? Okay, I love that. So let's start there. Let's just relax a second. Yeah. And let's remember that, well let's, okay, a couple things that you said that I wanted to point out. What we've been talking about is connection. Connection and longevity is everything. Like everybody wants to talk about which peptide which molecule, which therapy, all these bizarre biohacking, which I cannot stay on the term in and of itself.

I think it's such a masculine, aggressive term that I just don't think applies to the feminine at all. I don't want to hack anything. I want to heal. I want to restore. I want to transform. I want to flow. You know, hacking just sounds like a guy with an axe and tearing out a tree. I don't know. I don't like it. I don't like the whole term. I think that's why the whole biohacking movement has left women out. You know, but longevity, you know, what is the number one factor around? What is it? It's connection.

It's people. It's community. And so that's what we've been talking about is how we are connected, how we have a community and how you and I spend so much time talking about how to build a bigger community and how to stave off loneliness and isolation. And women in particular have been really devastated by isolation and lack of community. You know, it's just the nature of the Western kind of city culture. They're taking women and motherhood that's been this isolated thing that tribal and primal communities do not, they do not experience what we have gone through.

They're not alone. There are, you know, dozens of women that help out in that tribe of 150, 200. So first let's start with that. Like we are talking, even though we've been talking about our relationship, we're talking about we are enhancing our longevity by constantly focus on How can we spend more time together? How can we be more connected? How can we create community? Because that is the quilt that weaves everything, and that does change our physiology. That does change our biology, right? It's very, very important.

So trauma, so now going to point number two, is the misunderstanding of how we define trauma. Trauma is biological. Trauma is an energy deficit. Trauma is a mitochondrial disorder. So you do need to address it that way. This isn't a conceptual issue. It is stored in the body. The mitochondria have to deal with it. The water structure you have to deal with, which is also then the fascia and the connective tissue. So it creates a rigidity. So this, and a lack of flexibility, that must be addressed.

So any clinician, if they don't know all of those things, if they don't know how to restore fascia, if they don't know how to heal trauma, mitochondria, they need to bring somebody else into it before you can really move forward in a person's, before there's a softness and a suppleness that is able, a flexibility that allows that person to receive whatever therapy or modality you're trying to apply. You cannot break through, you cannot use force to help somebody recover from trauma. Must use softness.

You must fill them. They are starving. They are depleted. I love these concepts we talk about, the vitamin N, which is nature. We should have the vitamin H, which are hugs, or the vitamin T, which is touch. The vitamin C, which is cuddling. Community, connection. All of these things are very, very undervalued to me. These things we can't quantitatively assess. stupid or a ring or a Fitbit, it cannot track. You know, you can't get a number on how many hugs a day you got in or how much affection and attention you were feeling, how much community, how much bonding do you feel.

So those are critical in addition to everything you're doing with the electron transport change inside the mitochondria. Like we need to bring in the peptide and the small molecules, but we also have to bring in that layer of safety to the mitochondria to the microbiome to the fascia like there's so many layers that have to be addressed at the same time that to me this is the time of the divine feminine of the female clinician who can see so holistically in a way that no disrespect to any men i love men i honor them deeply in my new book But the feminine mind sees so many things at once.

We are designed to put things together in a way that nobody else can. That's what we do. You have to address everything. And it must be done in a non-linear fashion. And it must be done simultaneously. And if you don't know how to see things layered on top of each other all at the same time in a holographic manner, you're going to really struggle with patience. That's how I see that we address it and that's how I start with patients. What's one recommendation or invitation you might offer to our listeners that maybe they don't have a clinician yet and just how can they begin to confer

Nature as Nervous System Medicine 18:48

safety to their own system? They don't know where to start with the mitochondria. Maybe they're trying foam roll. Maybe they're trying some peptides. Maybe they're trying some different things, and maybe they don't even really know. They haven't fully identified kind of root of their trauma, if you will, yet just something in them is feeling a little withdrawn, a little isolated. They are feeling rigid. They've got a lot of soreness, stiffness. They're just kind of closing down and going like, I guess this is what it is.

What are some soft ways that they can confer safety first in themselves to then open up. Because before we can even say, yeah, community, come on. Oftentimes, we isolate because we feel so unsafe being in a community setting. I know sometimes this is a hard thing to do, but it does require leaving the house. Because already being indoors is neurologically stressful to the system. Being inside under artificial lights and not having a natural environment is a danger signal to the body. So if you can go outside and sit on the ground and put your back to a tree.

So with the back that gets protected, it feels like, listen, I know no one can have it from behind me. So it has a physical signal. I'm good. Go outside, sit in the ground, put your back to a tree. Spend 15 minutes a day outside. Nature has, nature knows how to heal you and restore you. There are things that are happening that are harmonizing and changing your frequencies, changing your brainwave patterns. And as you can hear, my dog is clicking the door. I must let him out because he's like, I need to go outside.

Yeah, that's baby pookie. He's the man of my inner child and everything I'm saying. So nature is designed. to automatically entrain us into the right frequencies of healing of an activated parasympathetic nervous system state. So the birds, the birds singing alone. The birds are not going to be singing unless they feel safe. That's how it works. They know if there's a threat, they're done. So let me tell you, if I was out hiking, I used to live in Montana, if I was out hiking in the mountains and suddenly I heard no birds, Danger is coming.

Something is very wrong, right? So birds are only singing. Bird music and why? It makes all of us feel so amazing because it means the environment right now is safe. They're good. There's nothing threatening them. And they actually attune, they tune into the other mammals and we are one of them. And they sing in such a way, their frequency of sound is a nutrient. And that sound light frequency makes our brain waves change. They calm us down. They help bring, if we're high beta frequency, freaking out, ruminating, overthinking, they slow it down and bring it down.

The birds help heal you. The ground itself, the hertz of it is 9.6 hertz. The ground has a terrestrial, the land has this frequency that is near 10 hertz, that's an alpha brainwave. It starts to entrain us in the 9.6 hertz, which is the optimal frequency for our mitochondria to work, actually. So you get all this mitochondrial healing as well as the brainwave state of moving into alpha. The air atmosphere, what's happening in the ionosphere from the electricity that's happening up there, all this lightning that's happening, like we don't even see it that's happening, all this, you know, that's electricity.

That's 7.83. And that's the Schumann resonance. People know of that. That's 7.83. The ground is 9.6. They are not the same thing. both, you know, so now we're looking at this is a theta frequency, you know, so we have this alpha theta state, so this moving between alpha and theta, the dream state, daydreams, consciousness dropping in and then neutral. We let all this, this is aliveness, this is active parasympathetic engagement where all healing and restoration goes down as well as You aren't thinking when you have these thoughts.

Daydreaming and sitting in neutral, things just pour through you. You're like, I don't know, just happened. You know around your people when they drive, they get like kind of zoned out, they think, and like all this amazing, or in the shower or in the bath, that's because they're going into alpha or theta. And things are a lot, they become the magnetic receiver we're designed to be. If we were connected to nature, we would be functioning in this alpha theta state most of the time and we would not be, which is a very internal receiving place where like imagination lives, where thoughts from the field are just poured into you.

You don't have to problem solve. They're just given to you. Like here, let me help you. Let me just give you the solution. You're like, oh, there it is. Like right before you fall asleep, something comes to you. Oh, there it is. And right when you wake up, you have an answer. So nature brings you there. So if we go there, it relaxes the nervous system dramatically. So sunlight, the ground, the trees, the birds singing, a waterfall, a stream. If you can be near any of these things, if you have the opportunity to be in a mountain, the mountains have another frequency.

So the ocean has a frequency, the mountains have a frequency, the ocean is more alpha, the mountains are more theta. Again, it's all alpha or theta. They're both fantastic. The rhythmic pulsations and the electromagnetic frequency of that, the earth and the waterfall is much bigger than you. So it just pushes you naturally into that state. It overrides where you are. That's why people feel so much better. So that would be the first thing I would do would be go outside and by going outside also by not being in the space of your home where the walls are, the ceiling, everything's tight, it requires a certain expression of the feminine, the yin yang must deal with itself and it must balance itself to counteract that the sky is so big and you must bring forward whatever masculine inside yourself that's required and when you're outside in big space if you walk let's say so if they can see you can sit the second thing I would say would be walk just go for a very simple walk because what has to happen when you have to move your body through big space outside The left and right movement brings in left and right hemisphere of the brain.

It forces an integration of the corpus callosum. It forces you to start being a whole-brained person and being more connected. But your eyes are just naturally going to go left and right. They're going to have this tracking movement. that stimulates again a parasympathetic vagal tone response. This is where EMDR was birthed from. So you don't necessarily need to go pay all this money to a therapist. I'm not saying not to go do EMDR, but you can do it just by walking outside. That's why I don't like walking pads and treadmills.

Do it outside. It has a completely different response in your nervous system. So that's the first thing I would say for the average person and it's totally free.

Performance, Presence, and Receiving 26:18

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Meet the people you want to make forever with. RadFest 2025. Take advantage of lower advanced pricing now at radfest.com. I love it. Yeah, it's an interesting It's an interesting expression we all live in because especially in the Westernized modern world, you know, there is such, there's such praise put towards busyness and it's, you know, especially for women. And, you know, I can say to this for so long where I got in my own way and it wasn't conscious. It was such an unconsciously driven and it comes from the traumas and the protections and all the things and the worthiness and whatever.

And I know many women, we show up in a very performative manner and, you know, kind of finding the permission, the permission to shift from performance to presence, to be able to get into this beautiful balanced flow. while still feeling really connected and present in society. And I don't know, I don't know that we just have a easy recipe there yet, you know, kind of as at large, like, yes, we're all making these little personal shifts. And it was so nuanced and over time for me, I don't even know when the moment was.

And you were saying how, you know, earlier on in your career, you were very comfortable in left brain, you were very comfortable in that doctor role and a bit more masculine. And as you've now you said, Hey, I'm in my 50s and I'm just, I'm all parts of me are present, you know, and all parts of me are here for it. And you're just in a much more balanced and harmonious state. Is there a moment that you feel that You were you were aware that you were able to receive you were able to receive the present you were able to feel comfortable in overriding the performative the busyness the busy being are doing rather and.

you know really started to be conscious of I am receiving and I'm receiving real time not just back in his end state sitting by the tree which is lovely and we all need to do that and that's one of my favorite things to do but I think maybe maybe where I'm trying to get because this is this is so nuanced what you're talking about and it's beautiful and it's artistic and it feels great but it's really important at a deep human level like how do we allow ourselves to bring this receiving into the present without being overridden by busy doing to to be able to like really kind of show up for life show up for life like in it in this, what I'm gonna refer to almost as this flow state, the alpha, the theta, that I'm here but I don't have to dominate, I don't have to perform, I don't have to overdo, it's like I'm just in you and your 50s, I'm in my fullness.

Is there a moment that you feel was definitive that allowed you to do that or was it kind of just this slow progression over time? What do you think? And let's be clear. So men, I know this is like so controversial to say today. Men are not women. And women are not men. I'm gonna say something that sounds crazy today. We're not the same. I can't believe that technically has gotten, that got me through, that I was thrown off Twitter for this statement three times. But let's start there. So men, need to behave a little differently.

So right now, we're mostly talking to women in this conversation. I learned this when I was teaching one of my courses, which is now called Radiant Reset, and we start with Rest, Restore, Renew, and I had like 200 people sign up for that very first course, and about 50 were men, and then 150 were women. And I realized really quickly, When I'm telling the women, it's completely different. So I had to start like a men's course after because I don't need men to learn how to rest. I need them mostly to get off their ass, you know, like bruh.

bruh what are you doing yeah okay yeah you know the masculine in its beauty and its splendor is action and it's linear and the masculine is the giver and the masculine as i wrote in my book he is not dominant he is obedient The masculine is the obedient one. And we've gotten this all wrong. The masculine in his most divine self is obedient to the feminine. The feminine is the ultimate receiver. He is not the giver. She is not the doer. She is not actually even the nurturer. He is to receive. And her greatest gift is receiving direct transmission from source.

then the masculine is obedient to that information. You understand? So to say it in the simplest way that people like, and this is personification, so this is not accurate, but we like to personify deities and people and whatever. The feminine has a direct phone call line to God, basically, to spirit, to source. And she's like, so what do you want me to do? Oh, OK. And the masculine comes, so what did it say? What God said? What do you need to do? And he's like, got it, baby. And he goes and gets the shit done.

Well, this is how it works. So he is obedient to the feminine within himself and within his relationships. And every mammal pack on earth knows to do this correctly except humans. Every wolf pack, every pack that has the male and female mated for life alpha group The female makes all the decisions and he's the enforcer. He does lead and protect. He's like, so what should we do? Go left. Got it. And he goes left because she told him to. Because he knows she receives the information directly from source.

But she must be receptive to that listening. to source a spirit, and he must be receptive to him doing what he's supposed to do. He is giving. He wants to give his protection. He wants to give his defense. He wants to give his brawn, his strength, his I got you. If you push that away, however, all over the place, we're gonna have a catastrophe. So that's the general thing we're talking about. How I figured it out, like that moment for me, yes, became when I got pregnant, and it was a high-risk pregnancy.

I hemorrhaged for 10 straight weeks, blood falling out of me, like for 10 straight weeks. I fell down two flights of stairs. I was in the hospital. I had two private practices. I was flipping two houses. I was all over independent. I was, you know, like, whatever, I got it handled. And spirit was like, you ain't got shit hands. I'm gonna put you on your ass. I'm gonna show you what's really going on. And the doctor was like, you need bed rest. And I was like, I need what rest? And like, you gotta stop.

You can't drive anymore. You can't work anymore. I was like, uh what so and six weeks turned into eight months of bed rest on a pregnancy wow talk about you better surrender to what is happening i was

Masculine and Feminine Harmony 34:58

in no control i had no control that was the greatest lesson of well this is where we're at and the expectation was i was going to miscarry and it was the fear was we don't need you to die when that happens yeah now my son is 19 as you know i did not die nor did he but it was a hell of a journey and it took years to recover. I couldn't work, I couldn't be a baller, I couldn't be in charge. I had to say, I had to release, let go, and realize I'm in charge of nothing. I have no power here, and I better realize the small things I can control is all I can control, and that's really what's going on here.

The rest of it, I was deluding myself to think I had any power or control over that. So that was the real big moment where I realized, oh, okay, I've got to rethink how I see all of this. Now there was a journey through all of that, through motherhood and restarting practice after six years of not working and everything. And at 45 years old, I made a very conscious decision because I was very stressed out about becoming 50. The idea of becoming a 50-year-old woman sounded horrifying. That's like one foot in a grave.

Like, what? You know? So I was like, oh no, I can't have that feeling. Like, what am I doing? This is awful. I don't wanna feel that way about turning 50. So I started a very conscious way of driving myself so I could celebrate that moment of what I was, of my becoming. of this next stage, right? So I was very conscious of that. So those are two big things, like the getting pregnant and being really sick and not having any control and realizing, hmm, okay. It was such softness and receiving. I had to let people help me.

I had to have things happen that I never thought... Yeah. Are you ready to redefine aging and unlock your full potential as a longevity leader? At the Human Longevity Institute, our world-class certification programs train doctors, coaches, and wellness professionals how to deliver cutting-edge, integrative longevity health solutions so people can live better today for longer, healthier and more vibrant tomorrows. If you're ready to join the Longevity Revolution, visit humanlongevityinstitute.com to enroll and become a practitioner today.

Well, it's interesting because within that, what I heard you say, and I know you go into this in the book, we're going to talk about the book here in a few moments, but fundamentally, and I would say this has been the biggest aha in some of my own personal growth and healing, is really coming into the moment of going, Oh my gosh. So we're going to talk about a defining moment. I'm going to say a word that no offense to anybody, but this is an important word. This was about three years ago. I found the book by Mama Gina.

The book is called Pussy and it's the reclamation, right? And so, yes, I said the word. Don't get offended. Keep listening. Here's what's so important. I was because I just have recently turned 54 at the time of this recording. And so I would have already been I was 51, I guess. Yeah. And I read that book. And I was like, I don't even realize all the things I didn't realize about being a woman. And specifically this feminine and masculine dynamic. And let's just think of these, it's not just man, woman, it's polarities, right?

It is the give, it is the receive. And so women today in modern culture, one of the big things that we are dealing with is so many of us are in our masculine. I have shown up for so long for so many. I have been the caregiver. I've been the provider. I've been the leader. I've been the action taker. I've been the nurturer. I've worn all the things and I also thought that's what I was supposed to do. I found value in that. I found like so it wasn't a I didn't think I had to do it. You know, I did it by the by this is just how life is and this is how we're working as a family and this is what's what's happening.

So it's not like I consciously set out to to, you know, mother to demasculate to any of that. And I think I'm just one woman like many. Yes, ma'am. Yeah. Well, you got their bugs. I like she like testify. And I'm like, I'm sorry. She's like, yes, yes, but it is true. And so, you know, it's interesting when I hear you speak about this, because I'm like, of course, you know, just the the remembrance that Fundamentally women get to be to remember the femininity within, the true nature to receive. And men get to remember how to lead, how to support, how to go out and take action.

And there's a big flip-flop. And I don't think anybody's doing anything intentionally as far as in couples and things like that. And so you were bedridden to kind of learn that by default. And it's fascinating to hear you speak of this. In the book you write a lot about masculine feminine dynamics. Do you have any one? You know suggestion recommendation a place that you might invite women and men into. within themselves. So I know you said when you did the group, you kind of invited the men like, hey, guys, actually, I need you to take action.

And that's what made my right. So OK, so we've heard a little bit about the men. And so is it as simple as men? I need you to start taking action, see where you can step up. How do you help the women get out of their own way, get out of the masculine? Because it's not like all of a sudden I could be like, oh, I'm going to receive and be this divine, feminine goddess. That's been the hardest work of my life. I think it's been super, super hard. So as a recovering masculine dominant woman, where do we start?

How do you help us? Well, it's going to sound trite, but I'm going to say by the book. OK, so. Yes, indeed, by the book. Here's where I'm, I am that woman. Yeah. And you're going to, what I wrote, it's a non-linear, so this book is something that, I love it so much. You had read the first version and the second version now, the rewrite, it became more just truly me. It became every, like what I said before we started recording, every part of me came forward. The three year old, the five year old, the seven year old, the nine year old, the 12 year old, the 15 year old.

every little part of me, every girl that wanted to say something, I gave her space and I gave her room. And it was monitored and moderated by the 52-year-old, you know? And it's a poetic prose. You know, it's a prose, but it's written with, and it has like a poetic tone. It's a lyrical love letter to yourself. So I wrote it like, is a love letter to myself, but it's really a love letter to yourself. So it's written for women in such a way. I think you're going to start to see things. I'm not a teacher and I'm not a doctor in it.

I'm more of this embodied avatar for you to see that you are me and I am you. I'm just a mirror. What I see in you, I see in me. And it's, As I take you through a little bit of what I've been through, I hope, I think that sometimes we just need people to give us permission to open the door to see something. Like, it's okay. You can like this. You can try this. So as I tell the truth of my own journey of being, we were all rewarded for our masculinization. I think there's been, I don't get into politics, I don't get into all of that, but there was a really concerted effort for the feminine to become masculinized, for her to learn, not to receive, for her to think this was weakness.

And I fell into that trap and I had to relearn how to be in such a way to understand that's my greatest gift. So what I'm offering is, Different way to see thyself and to say and and every woman who's read it so far has been like it truly is like a Remembering you know this and you've been tricked and conned into something else This isn't weakness to enjoy what you enjoy to find pleasure to feel good to let others it's not about being a Diva it's nothing like that and it's realized like by us stepping into a role that we were not Supposed to actually fill we've cut someone else off at the knees we've taken away Imagine if we wanted to give someone a gift and you made it so beautiful and they would never even open it You know, like what are you talking about?

Like but I shopped for I spent three weeks and I made it and I wrapped it now like oh but they wouldn't open it? You know how hurt you would feel? That's how the masculine is feeling, and I think part of why this happened is because I'm the mother of a boy. When I realized that, I remember in this room, I remember standing, he was standing right there, and he was like nine and a half or 10, and I realized, oh, inside my mind, I'm like, he's gonna be a man. Like, I'm not raising a boy. Yeah. I'm raising a future man.

Like, it's going to be out in the world. Like, he's going to have sex with a woman one day. Oh my god. Oh my god. It was like a, I have to change what I'm saying. Like, I, shit. You know, it was a, you know, oh my, he's my little thing. He's my little playboy, little playmate. Maybe we'll go to the gardens and go to the, you know, Shit he's got learn how to throw a punch. Yeah This is like a whole like when the reality when I realized he was gonna be 35 He's gonna be 45 He's gonna marry some he's gonna have sex Like but I have to prepare him mmm, you know, I was divorced I'm you know, not alone.

I do have a I I don't like even being called a single mother. Like, well, his father's here. Not like he's dead. Like, you guys, I don't like that. I'm like, no, I think it's disrespectful to his father. I'm like, no, he's here. He didn't abandon us.

The Book Receive and Personal Reclamation 46:38

He's around, but it is different. This kid's got to bounce from house to house. And I had to be like, ooh, I'm raising a young man. And I would hear how some women would talk to me. that hate men, they have a hatred for the masculine, a hatred for men. And I would see how offended I was becoming in defense of my son. I'm like, you better watch your mouth. I was like, wait a minute, what are you saying? Like, no, I don't know what you're talking about. Men are not like that. What are you talking about?

So that was a big shifter me in all of this. And I was like, oh, I have to defend who he is. He's not bad. He's not inherently bad because his chromosomes are different mainly me. What are you talking about? This is beauty. He has beauty just like we have beauty. We are not the same. So that's where I started to be like understanding I need to address this. He needs to understand there are expectations upon you because you are a boy and you're going to be a man and this is what you need to do. Let me be clear.

And so I started explaining things differently. I have to live in reality land. So that's where part of this was coming from, and it gave me permission to embrace, because I had to see that different, I had to start honoring the future divine masculine in him. How could I not honor the feminine in me? So like, oh, right, because I am this and you are that, and this is beautiful and so is this. And how can I teach you how to treat a woman if I'm not understanding how to treat myself? So I went on a journey of like dating myself and loving myself and like, because who's going to teach the world how to treat me?

Yeah. Yeah. So who's going to, you know what I mean? So that's where like, those were part of the stages for me. So I, I wish I had like one piece of advice. I think like reading the book because I give, there's theory, there's feeling, there's poetry. It's a lyrical love letter. And you know, what's made me, the people who are listening don't know that you were a professional dancer. And I don't find it, I find it very interesting. I don't think it's a coincidence. Like I'm not a professional dancer.

I'd be a thing, I'm a decent club dancer, but I can't really dance, right? You have this skillset that I wish I had. And because you have it, you now take it for granted. And you don't really even know how special it is. This book, I wrote it, Poetry, music, lyrics, and dance movement are woven throughout it. Each chapter is a movement like it's a dance. I wrote it like a dance. I wrote it like a ballroom dance. I wrote it like the feminine, like a tango, and then a waltz that is very consciously written into the entire book.

So it moves like music, it moves like a movement because movement moves things and the body will tell you everything you need to know. You can't lie when you dance with someone, you know? You can't, it's impossible. It's gonna show, oh there it is. You don't like him very much, do you? No, I don't. Like you can see it and you know that as a dancer. So I brought movement because that brings embodiments And I need women to get back into their bodies and to adore their bodies and love their bodies and realize this source we have of all the senses is where the real power is at.

And we've been taught through the masculinization, through the busyness, through the working, through the achievement and success, which is all masculine. They're supposed to do that. That's their thing. We've dissociated and we've disconnected. This is why we don't know how to access pleasure. We don't know how to orgasm. We don't know how to sleep. We have all these problems that we aren't supposed to have because we don't understand this is our resource of superpower, right? That's what I bring into the book in a very different kind of way.

So we have a few minutes left. So hang tight, everybody. I'm going to read a small piece of the book. And one of the last questions I want to ask you is we kind of think about this, you know, really, you've taken us even in this conversation today, Dr. Rimka, through this beautiful journey into truly into a remembering that will allow us to whatever extent we are each ready for to awaken. And so I'm curious, just your perspective on you know, how you really see this feminine awakening because we are seeing it and hearing it more and more, especially with amazing, you know, individuals like yourself feeling called to actually share their own story and to write about it.

So it's being put out into the world in such a beautiful front facing way. And in case you guys didn't hear at the beginning, Dr. Rimka will be a part of the Women's Longevity Lab at RadFest as we have the 10 year anniversary. So hopefully you'll be able to be there and be a part of that. but as we watch more and more of this come into the world as we are watching more women awaken into their you know just divine femininity and we're watching this sacred masculinity just you know have a reclamation as well how do you see that how do you imagine that that can translate into true health span, you know, really kind of moving the needle in a new way.

Besides, like you said earlier, the molecules, the peptides, the biohacks and the stacks really now moving us into a time between soul nourishment and cellular renewal. Riff on that for a moment about how you feel that this awakening between the sacred feminine, divine masculine and vice versa can take us into a new way of understanding health span. That's a really interesting question. So I guess from there, I'm just going to say the body is the technology. And the ultimate technology, I'm going to go all the way over here.

But I'm so glad I'm a woman. I don't know what it's like to be a man. I don't know what that avatar is like, that biological body. I've seen some exquisite examples. But we can do things. We create. We take anything you give us. And we magnify and amplify it, no problem. I can take one egg and I can make a whole human being. You know, they can't do that. The masculine avatar cannot do what the feminine avatar can do here. We birth everything. We birth. We create. We make something from almost nothing.

We've brought all life forward here. You can welcome, you can thank every woman for everything that you see. Like, this is what we do. And so, it's, you know, you want a mountain be turned into a mo, a moho turned into a mountain, that's what we do. We make it bigger, better, faster, harder. That's what we do. Everything we do, right? And we need them to help us with that. They're the partner with that. But there's a reason the egg is so ginormous compared to the sperm. And there's a reason we throw their mitochondria out.

We don't need it. We need very little information. The information is in the cytoplasm. It's in the water. It's in the structure. She holds it all. She is the container. She is the vessel. She is the receiver, the receptacle. You give her very little and massive explosion. That's who we are. So I see an honoring and a reverence for that. And it's not like we're not better. We're in a partnership. There's a harmonization. And what I wrote this book actually in response to my irritation and my annoyance with some very specific people that I was seeing talking about the rising of the feminine, but they do it in such a way as if it means we're better than, or we have to tear down and attack the masculine, or tear down the patriarchy.

That is not how this works. It's called harmonization. The masculine harmonizes us. I, the feminine, in my greatest form, when I am full blown doing what I do, I am a reckless storm that will destroy a country. I need a masculine to contain me. to give me some direction, to give me some anchor, to give me some level of safety so I don't just blow up and kill everybody in my path because I'm just gonna, ah! So we need that. And so I've learned how to bring that forward. I finally gave permission to the feminine.

I stopped shaming her. I stopped criticizing her. I stopped telling her she wasn't good enough. And people are gonna, you know what I mean? You can come forward. You can show your face. And the masculine part of me said, you are the one. I will be obedient to you because you are the direction. It's okay to show that you're listening to God. Do it. I've got your back. I will protect you. I got the sword. I'm ready to go. Do it. And I'll direct you to make sure you stay safe and you keep everybody else safe.

So that's what I've done with inside myself. right? And therefore it brought forth the relationships in my exterior that mirrored that perfectly. Yeah, amazing. And when we think about this, you know, for everybody listening, and it kind of, we're going to come back full circle almost to where we started tonight, is that so many of us have experienced some level of trauma. And even this imbalance in masculine, feminine can be a trauma in how we've had to show up, survive, do life. And there's no right or wrong to it.

The point I want to make is that when we think about health span, when we think about longevity, we're all in it to say, how do we live better today for longer tomorrows? Health span is just simply staying healthy longer without sickness and disease. And when we think about some of the elements at the root that accelerate aging at the root of decline and disease there are all these pro-inflammatory processes in the body so if we say it really simply we'll kind of give it that distress label and so what can be driving distress under the hood so to speak it is all of these conscious and unconscious emotional imbalances.

It's the various types of traumas. It's the various types of, you know, going out there and doing, doing, doing, staying hard versus soft. And I think, you know, a lot of the things that you shared tonight is just a remembrance. However you want to term it, it is a balance it's going man we get too far to one side right because we all have both we are both masculine and feminine each and every one of us this isn't a male female chromosomal gender thing this is these are energetic states polarities that exist with each and every one of us and so i think it could be as simple as recognizing the moments that we get way one side or another you know and simply like whoa is this working for me, you know?

And maybe that's the cue instead of feeling we have to go deep down a rabbit hole, just go, like you said, go sit outside at a tree, be in nature for a few moments, reharmonize because what I'm really hearing you say, it's so funny how quickly we wanna demonize and try to be like, well, that's wrong, which is also a polarity, right? It's also the moment, well, it's this or that, it's like still keeping us way out of balance and all this, all you're really sharing with us, not all, it's like, it's all of it.

is you're saying hey gang you know it's harmonization there's so much beauty it's not about it's this harmonization that now then allows things the way

Grief, Softening, and Closing Blessing 58:48

i see it it's almost like it starts to pulse and it starts to expand in this really whole way so instead of polarities always out of balance always like being off kilter we're always going to be sick we're always going to feel off we're never going to quite feel like it's safe to really enjoy life But when we start to remember and receive within ourselves as women, when we start to remember and contain and support as men, you know, we realize that there is a balance within the mutuality of one another.

I feel like what starts to be expressed is a wholism that I think Mother Earth herself is aching for, a return back to a greater state of wholism. It's kind of how it's landing in my system. You've said so much, you've shared so much. I love you, and we're not going yet, because I promise I'm going to read something, but I wanted to save it for the end, because we're all going to cry. Oh, boy. I don't know what she's going to read. So Dr. Rimka, before I do this, let's take a moment. Tell everybody.

So tell us the title of the book. I'm sure it'll be on Amazon. It'll be on all the places. But where do you want people to most come? Give us all your info, please. OK. So it is called Receive the Dance of Feminine Power. We are very close to publication. It'll be on yoursoulbeautiful.com. So I'll make sure you have that. So yoursoulbeautiful.com is the new website that will be launching more of the holistic, more of the feminine side of me. So the clinical side, I do have to do a lot of thinking and I do have to do a lot of that.

It's expected. I get it. Um, but this is a, that's, it's a new brand where the website will sit where I can have a playground to let, um, the little girl in me that used to play dress up in her mom's closet come out to play that didn't want anybody to see that. Cause I would punch you in the face. I was girly. I don't want to be girly. You know what I'm saying? So, right. I get it. And I just, so that's what it's called. You receive. And I will just say this, like that the ultimate, You know, I'm in longevity and I do peptides and neuro therapies and neurofeedback and these gadgets and devices and transcranial stim and all these weird things and I do things that other people have never even heard of and I've had incredible results with patients.

But as I discovered through this process of the last several years and falling into my own understanding of how I could learn to surrender and how I could learn to receive, And I could switch, understand I am not the giver. I am not the doer. I am the receiver. I am the vessel upon which the masculine who gives can do unto me. And I don't have to perform anymore. I don't have to burn myself out. I don't have to do that. That's the magic I have. That's what the feminine has. And the ultimate expression of that, unlike anything on earth, There is not a small molecule, a peptide, or a therapy I can think of for a woman to heal herself more powerful than her own body's capability to orgasm.

There it is. I love it. There it is. We are at an hour. I think you're all realizing you probably want to come to one of the retreats that Dr. Rimka and I are going to be doing and spend a whole entire weekend with us because we can just keep going and going. We're just getting warmed up. And yet I feel like you've shared just so much soulful insight and it is. I just want to keep saying the words because this conversation is so enriching. It just is a remembrance. to receive as we begin to receive.

And I just want to reflect this one thing back. And here's what I've learned in my own journey with this is I have been able to reclaim so much of myself that I didn't even know was locked down, that was inaccessible. I have reclaimed back into my system so much energy that I'm, you know me i'm pretty energized like and i don't mean phrenic energy i mean like this this whole hum into my system that you know in college my friends used to jokingly call me a frayed nerve because i was like always just like yeah yeah yeah and i was oh but ideas ideas go go go and that was what i thought it was supposed to be that's just who i was that's how i knew it and i don't even I can't even touch that, that frequency anymore.

Not to say I don't get hyped and I don't, I get excited, but it's a smoother. And so instead of being the frayed nerve, the phrenic, there's a smoothness, there's a richness, again, wholeness. And, and it's, it's only just, it's like a honey and it's just coming in and coming in and, and, uh, and so it's, it's fascinating to sit in this time in myself to go through this and to just, go, wow, this is a real thing. This is all so beautiful. And then it takes us back to where we started tonight, which is really, who are your five?

Who are those five people most around you? Because you and I have been on this together. We've had rich conversations. We've loved, we've lost, we've learned, we've grown. And so I personally, from my heart to yours, I wanna say thank you and I love you so much. Thank you. I love you. So now I'm gonna read, I'm gonna read. Okay, okay. I don't know what you're gonna read. Okay, I'm gonna read. I have the book. I have I have the book. And it is not out for release yet, but is right here on my computer.

So this book will speak to every woman and man. And and so I would just want to go I want to give you the pre the preface. The love that birthed this book. This book was never supposed to be written. Not like this. Not by me, not in this moment, and certainly not through this much pain. But life had other plans. What you hold in your hands is not just a book, it's a heartbeat, a reclamation, a resurrection. A love letter I didn't know I was writing until the words started pouring out raw and unfiltered in the aftermath of a storm I never saw coming.

I was with Chip, the love of my life when he died. I helped walk him home. I held his hand. I whispered to his soul. I wept into his chest. I thought the miracle had come, that the worst was over. But life cracked open in a way I couldn't stop or control. And so it began again. Grief cracked me wide open. It unstitched the carefully curated identity I had constructed, the doctor, the healer, the strong one. In its place, something softer emerged, wilder, messier, more honest. And in that unraveling, I remembered the woman I had tucked away beneath all that doing and giving and fixing.

This book is not a memoir. It's not a manual. It's not a polished, perfect thesis on feminine power. It is a dance, a dance with the feminine, with the masculine, with the body, with the sacred. and yes with grief, because grief too is a portal. If you let it, it will take you all the way into the dark so you can remember your own light. The truth is, I softened before I surrendered to Chip's pursuits. I dated myself, I danced alone, I opened the door to my own pleasure and surrendered. And it was that softness that called him in, not the other way around.

He met me in the fullness of what I had already begun to reclaim. This book is my offering to Chip, to my father, to my mother, to my son, to every woman who's ever clenched herself small, to the feminine in all of us waiting to be let out of the cage. You are allowed to soften. You are allowed to shine. You are allowed to receive. Let this book be the permission you didn't know you needed. Let it break you open. Let it bring you home. And that's just the beginning, my friends, from this magnificent human that I get to call my bestie, my soul sister who teaches me every day.

And you have shared so much with us. Thank you for sharing your heart and your soul. and go get this incredible book. Thank you, Dr. Rumka. Thank you, honey. I never heard anybody else read it, so I was like. I love you. I love you too. I don't want to go, but we have to go. Thank you guys for listening. Thank you. Let it all seep in, soak in. We love you all. Share this, like it. Let us know what stood out to you the most. Put your comments, share your stories below. Of course, we'll have all of Dr.

Rimka's links. Follow her, like her, love her. How could you not? Go to her website, grab the book, and continue. Allow this to be your invitation. to receive, moment by moment. It doesn't have to come in big waves. It's the little small moments, breath by breath, being willing to simply look up, be curious, be open because so much awaits. Stay bold, stay curious. Until next time, thrive forward. Bye everyone. Thank you for tuning into Dr. Talks. We hope today's episode has enlightened and inspired you on your path to optimal health.

Each day is a new opportunity to make choices that empower your well-being. For more insights and strategies, subscribe to our podcast and visit our website, www.doctortalks.com. Stay connected, stay healthy, and join us next time on Doctor Talks, real talks from real doctors on the issues that matter to you most.