When Personal Growth Becomes The Business Plan

Personal Growth and Sales Skills 0:00

For me, the biggest one, and I don't even know if you would call it a skill set, but the big one is personal development. There's so many things in, it doesn't just have to be entrepreneurship, when you do something that's a little bit scary, When you jump into something where you don' have the skill-set or you're learning something new, you learn a lot internally about yourself. You learn about how you react to high stress situations or. where you learn about being a beginner and what it's like to go from not knowing anything to knowing a little bit of something and then getting the reward and understanding the feedback loop and how that works.

I think the personal development portion is the most important part. And then when it comes down to actual skill sets, definitely sales. Sales is number one thing that I Welcome to the TBD Fit podcast on Dr. Talks. I'm your host, Daniel Keeley, and I will be guiding you through this wellness journey in terms of optimizing health and longevity, where we unpack the science, the dos, dos and everything in between. Come join us. Look forward to seeing you inside. Welcome back to another episode of the TBD Fit Podcast.

Today's a very special episode because we are filming live in person in Viva Las Vegas with two very close friends of mine, one of which we actually used to work together. So this is going to be a fun and interesting episode. I would love to introduce our two special guests today, Ashton and Angela. who now reside here and it was bittersweet because we used to collaborate. But then they made a left turn and went to Vegas and doing some incredible things, which, we're going to highlight. And I want to introduce them to the episode.

So welcome. Thank you for having us, man. It's great to see you again as well. The A-Team is what I call you now. I always compare you guys to Alex and Layla for most of you who know that kind of analogy. But I love starting every episode to interview our guests with an opportunity to provide their backstory. So tell us a little bit about you both how you ended up together both professionally and personally and Kind of the catalyst to where you are and what you're doing today. I'm gonna have you Okay, ladies first very gentleman like just like long story short You know, I was actually living residing in Jersey right outside of Philly and Ashton has sent me a DM on Instagram and I just decided to answer and we kind of were like almost like pen pals almost, like just through DMs and messaging.

And then after about like two months of speaking to each other consistently, we then, I Just flew out to meet him for the first time. And then it's been just great ever since. But no, I mean, just through that time period, we were actually both in the healthcare field. So I had already graduated with an athletic training degree with the Philadelphia Eagles. I was working with them for some time. Ashton was getting his master's in exercise physiology. And yeah, like we we're living together. We started living together in Illinois and whenever we moved from small town Illinois while I was wrapping up my master's degree to just outside of Chicago.

And at that time, I think you started out at like a hospital job, but you kind of navigated through, we both had like seven different jobs while we were there. Oh yeah. We were just bouncing from one thing to the next, but we were both in either healthcare or fitness. So I was always doing personal training either as a main job or on the side, or we are working at a hospital. It was one of the two. And then probably about three years into it, I started looking for business opportunities. So I starting diving into business, looking what was going to be the next thing that I did just because I wasn't fully fulfilled.

Once I start working in a hospital in Chicago and I was utilizing my exercise physiology degree as a cardiac physiologist, I realized that there's really no up from there. I was 25 years old, I as a cardiac physiologist working in a hospital and it was just basically, you know, tenure. That's it. that's like my goal to chase. So I always like, there's got to be something else. I start actively and obsessively looking for different business opportunities. And finally, after going through like seven or eight of them, i landed on a marketing agency for gyms and we call the gym closers.

and you were, you started nursing school. Yeah, I was actually, this was like my drive to finding purpose because I, was, like, okay, i've done the personal training,i've, done, the medical stuff, so I actually got into an accelerated nursing program and was in my first semester. I hated it, not gonna lie, it just was not what I had imagined or thought I signed up for, but again it was just because, he was starting something new, which this agency stuff, and I was like, oh man, like I got to find a purpose too.

Podcast Intro and Guest Backstory 5:00

And then obviously shortly after that, he had one of those talks and was, why do you want to be a nurse? Why do want do this? And ultimately it was I need to fine purpose, I to make money. And then he was like, okay, well, what if you can do that, but with business instead? And I'm pretty sure I gave you a hard time, like even you even saying like I am going to get a sales job so I can like learn how to sell. I was heavily against that. And he's blasting Alex and Layla. everywhere, you know, so like I couldn't help but listen to it all the time.

Yeah. She didn't like the idea of it at all. Like the, the lack of security was not something she was on board for. I remember I was, I gave myself a goal to leave the hospital and I like six months or maybe four, four to six. Months I'm going to live on this date. And I didn' I wasn't making enough money in the business yet. So, but I had to keep the promise to myself. so I chose to get a sales job. and then when I told her that she hated the Yeah, I was like, you're going to be a sales rep. Like, ew.

Why are you going try to steal money from people? You know, of course, like not knowing anything about sales. So that was just kind of me being naive or whatever, ignorant to it. I just remember as he was navigating through that, because I feel like a part of entrepreneurship, there's a lot of personal development because it very much will expose the most vulnerable sides of you. He was going through that and navigating that. And me, Angela five years ago was very reactive, very emotional. I've really just like, you know, felt so entitled in the moment.

So like he was trying to have conversations with me as he's working through this personal development phase. and I just wasn't having it. so I think there really came to a point where you were like Why do you want to do nursing school? Like you obviously hate it. Like, you wanna make more money. You wanna do all these things that are so purposeful and like we could build a future together if you would just kind of like, not saying like listen to me, but it was kind like that. I remember we had a talk where I was like why do want do this?

And she kept like giving answers that were beating around the bush. She was Oh, this, and I'm like, no, why? What's the reason? And she was like money. It's a career that provides you a good salary or security. And I was, you can do that now. I can show you how to do it now, because I already was a few months into sales and it completely changed my life. So the next day she wakes up and she's like, all right, let's do it. She calls, she drops out of nursing school. And, uh, so we still had what, like one or two semesters of loans that we had to pay off, but it, I got her an interview for a sales role.

she crushed the interview, nails the job. and then she is probably making two or three times the amount of money she was making before and like two months. That's when we learned like oh, skills do matter. Yeah, for real. And it kind of changed our lives. A year later, I went from one place to the next in terms of business, just trial and error, figuring out what worked, what didn't. We eventually evolved into Active Solutions and then Angela jumped on board and we've just been all in the business since probably for about two and a half, three years now.

So let's underscore skills, right? Because one you had prefaced early on, I mean, you were really fearful to make that leap. Obviously it's unknown territory. And second, You don't have a skill set. Right? So that's something you have to learn. I think what I admire most about you and we were collaborating years ago. is that you were constantly trying to enrich yourself. So much like myself is I'm flying around all over the world. Everyone's like, Daniel, you got to just stay home and work on your patients in clinic.

I was like no, no. You're missing the point. i'm doing this so I can accelerate outcomes for my patients. Yeah, I am trying To carve my toolbox to have more skills so that I Can help people heal faster and safer. And this is the reason why I do it because science and medicine is going to continue to evolve much Like tech and sales and various industries. What skill sets would you say were core to your learning curve and what has enabled you to be able to kind of accelerate the pace that you have grown to?

That's a great question. I would say for me, the biggest and I don't even know if you would call it a skill set, but the biggest one is personal development. There's so many things and it doesn't just have to be entrepreneurship. But when you do something that's a little bit scary, when jump into something where you don' have the skill-set or you're learning something new, you learn a lot internally about yourself. You learn about how you react to high-stress situations or where learn being a beginner and what it's like to go from not knowing anything to knowing a bit of something and then getting the reward and understanding the feedback loop and how that works.

I think the personal development portion is the most important part. And then when it comes down to actual skill sets, definitely sales. Sales is number one thing that I thing changed both of our lives where we kind of realized like this is something where if you have a genuine personality, And you can, you know, read people even a little bit and have good conversations. You can develop the skillset. Those are like precursors to becoming a good salesperson. And then you just kind of have to study the science of it and repetition, like always, or with anything and you continue to get better.

I don't know if you have a different answer. Well, yeah, that's pretty spot on. I'd say that mine was predominantly just having childlike curiosity. Always being a student really helped me because my own ego got in my way five, six years ago. The version of myself that I hate. And I try to run away from, and I only say that because when you, like sales, for example, that ultimately changed our lives, but sales really is just about understanding the needs of the other person, right? So like if you have that childlike curiosity of like figuring out what their problem is, even with our sales team, it's like, if we're not the solution to their problems, do not even offer it to them.

like, yeah, that sucks that like you don't get commission one day, go, okay, cool. But just having that conversation and deeper level of understanding of what the person needs, and then having childlike curiosity, even in the things that you're going to be learning every day in business, it's never the same. You know, every you come across different things. So like if you are a student, And just like you're traveling around the world, we're always exposing ourselves to different instances, different opportunities.

And the more that you absorb and apply and have that curiosity of being a student, of learning and adapting, I think that's the coolest skill you can have, which kind of ties into self-awareness and just, again, navigating conversations and helping the other person. This is why you guys are the AA team. I mean, truly that answer was remarkable because you started with personal development. The premise is investing in yourself and that's what you did. That's the mantra that you live by, I see. And then becoming a student of life, constantly staying curious, Constantly wanting to learn more, to grow, challenge yourself.

that is core to not only our existence, but I think also to pursue optimal health. I think in our modern age, it's a very capitalistic culture, which is great. Money certainly matters, but often we think about, and not to undermine what you said previously, like an end goal, I want to retire at this age. I won't have this much in the bank or whatever. To me is I wanna remain a student for life and keep my door open and see, where is medicine evolving? Where is science going? What is med tech? what's happening with AI?

And maybe that's the opportunity to segue because I that that the left turn, The further left turn that you went into is integrating AI, building bots, right? I think this is what you're doing now within active solutions where things have kind of evolved to. So maybe let's showcase kind how far you have come and how you are constantly staying on the edge to make sure that your also providing the best experience and solutions for your clients. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think, uh, so we, at one point in time, it was, It was full on AI bots.

Like that was what we were building. We kind of, now what do is we really just build software for companies. So go high level being one of the biggest ones we will set this up and build it for company so that they're them and their team members can rely on it instead of just like having the conversational AI lane. It's a great lead magnet, but what were doing is like, we're building an entire infrastructure for businesses. So regardless of if it's the pipelines, the automations, their email campaigns, a landing page, we kind of take the acquisition process and we make it for people to be able to generate or take their leads and then make them become customers.

I also, just to preface too, I think the idea around AI is I don't know, not what everyone thinks it is. Yes, that's the new train and the trend, but it's actually leveraging AI and using it as a tool to leverage your business and to level up, essentially. You can give a scalpel to anybody and they won't what to do with it. But if you give it to a surgeon, someone that understands how to utilize it, then it will help them with their outcome. But I think with AI, we use it more so as a tool than it being everything that our business is around.

Because we're very fortunate to have access to things like ChatGBT. You know what I mean? That was not around for people who started businesses a decade ago. So I just think it's a really great tool to leverage a lot of areas in your business or just in overall life.

Leaving Healthcare for Business 15:00

I don't think that it is necessarily something that we focus. our business on. Yeah. At one point in time, I think that the model was conversational AI. And we were heavily invested in that. But then we just started realizing or paying attention to the needs of the customer in general. It's a really cool, everybody wants conversation AI because it sounds cool. Something that can talk and set appointments. Actually, the ones that want it the most are the lazy entrepreneurs. They're like, so can this thing make phone calls for me?

And I'm like... And make sales and make my bed and do my dishes. Give you more time to do what you want to. Unfortunately, the technology isn't quite where it can make phone calls with people and actually perform at a good level or do anything like that. When you work with like-minded entrepreneurs, you can build the systems and the infrastructure and teach people how to leverage AI in certain ways. But really we were just like able to understand where like what they really want is an end result.

Conversational AI gets them closer to the end results. The end-result is they want more customers. Like that's the biggest thing. And they don't know where to start. They don' know how long it's going to take. they Don't want to do it themselves. So offering a done-for-you solution to to get them closer to that end result is really what they want. And that's what we figured out. It's not just about the conversational AI, it's about building the entire infrastructure that is going to take lead to client.

So in terms of software, do you guys have engineers then that are building this in the back end? Because you mentioned software right? We probably have too many of them now. We've got like 30 people on the same now So building out proprietary for each organization or specific organizations, businesses or? Yeah, so it's all across the board. We have anything from medical spas to dental offices to HVAC companies to online businesses. Now we stick in a lane of building the go high level CRM, but we build it in 1,000,00 different ways.

I mean, there is no boundaries that we can't cross. other softwares that they're already currently using, especially in like home service businesses. And sometimes we build from scratch. Sometimes we fix a mess that somebody else made. It just depends. I like the point when you said a mess, because we're all walking messes. And I say this to, again, to bridge that gap. So we are all toxic. The question is to what degree. When you say mess like we all living in a mass, then I mean, if you look at the environment here, we under these LED lights, which are very damaging to our retinal cells.

This is not congruent to native biology. That's the reality. This is a beautiful setup, right? But if you look at it, like it's, it almost backwards to, you know, our true essence and existence. But you said there were so elegant. I really, really want to highlight that is the ability to listen. And I see this all the time. Good practitioners will speak and provide solutions. Better practitioners we'll listen and the best will listen long enough where the patient provides the answer. My goal is to just fill in that gap and to provide the holes.

My goal is to provide the guidance or the personalized plan. So with the diagnostic tests that we have at our availability now is we can be very, very hypertargeted with treatment. That's what I call position-based medicine. It's important to listen to what the customer, the consumer, or the patient requires. And I think that skill set probably ranks above all, right? Because you said it's like, maybe this is not the right fit. So why even waste another time? Maybe we can find someone else that would be better suited for you.

The ability to communicate and the ability listen, to me, is so profound, so overlooked, and so foundational. I applaud you guys because even when we were working early on, I mean I saw that you were doing that at a very, very high level. But then also always your eagerness to kind of learn and grow and learn, and iterate wherever necessary. And so then when you found your partner in crime, which I want to give a big congrats because did you take the last name? I did. So you are now Mrs. Angela Wilson, correct?

Yeah, Ash and Angela. So congrats again. I think they're newlyweds. Different generation here. We're trying to target that on our podcast here She's in a different generation than me too, she's two years older. Two years old? So there you go, cougar. That's the terminology, I'm not sure medically what's what the term called, but you guys look great nonetheless. It's been some time since we connected. If you were to pass on suggestions then for the younger generation, obviously we've mentioned a lot of skill sets, right?

You've probably went through a lots of speed bumps. What are some things that you would have done differently? I know it's, in retrospect, as always, you just say, right? And you have to go through those failures in order to achieve, or to be able to come to a point to look back and say okay, that didn't work, this is probably the right line. But are there certain things you maybe would've done different, whether earlier on in your career, because when I heard you speak, I think culturally we're conditioned, right?

So I have family from Eastern Europe as well. Like you have to be a doctor or a lawyer. And so that's why we fear failure. We fear risk. we look for that security and like here's professions that statistically make a little bit more money. So there's pride and there is this sense of reward when you're able to become one. Um, were there, are there things that, that you guys would have done differently that look at things now differently in terms of both professionally and personally, even within your relationship as kind of being newlyweds now?

Well, to your point about, um, the expectation from like your parents. The thing is, at the end of the day, I think people just want to be heard, right? So like your parents, your family, can you blame them for giving you the guidance that worked for them? You can't, because it worked them. Like my mom is a nurse, my dad was a cop. Like, they did the American dream. They go to school, get an education, and get a job. You got your 401k. Like they're living great and they are retired. So it's like you can't really fault them for thinking the way that they do.

And so I think anything that I would do differently would just be to get out of my own way. Right? Like I think Angela five years ago definitely had an ego on her. She was way more confident than she is now. And it's just like, I don't know where that came from. But I give myself a lot of grace because I just had so much self-belief, right? But at times you can get in your own way because of ego, because pride, and because circumstances that you've dealt with before. And so now you blame all of this baggage that you have, but you so much more control than you think.

So I don't think that I would necessarily do anything different. It's just more so switching my frame of how I look at certain situations because something can be really shitty in the moment. Sorry, I dunno if we can curse on your podcast, But something can be like really bad. But in that moment, it's like, what if that was a teaching lesson? What if this is going to cause you to make a completely different decision that is a segue to where you need to go? So being in my own head and thinking that I was always going be right or having this level of expectation, I, was heavily disappointed, but it did ultimately, like always, always I'm thankful for it leading me to here, route.

Yeah. I think you need to be okay with being self-critical and believing that maybe it's me that's the problem. Maybe I have some bad habits. There are some, maybe my subconscious fights against me sometimes and maybe other people are right sometimes. People need be ok with that. especially when you're getting into something like business or even chasing a career in general. It doesn't even have to be business oriented. I also think that you need to assume that things are going to harder than you initially think getting in to it and you to need be okay with focusing on one thing for a prolonged period of time.

even if that's a career or whatever it may be, or a goal that you have that is fitness oriented. You need to just assume that it's probably harder than I think, because I'm ignorant right now. I don't know a lot about this. If I am just getting started in something, I probably ignorant. And I will probably think it will be easier than it actually is. So assume it is going to be harder, assume its going take longer, and I thing going into it with that expectation will make you more consistent. So we operate with cognitive dissonance and we also operate blinders.

And I make the analogy all the time. We're like a horse with blind as we can only see in front of us. So, we don't often see our blind spots. How did you integrate? Were there certain, like you write it down every morning. Do you have a report card at the end of the day? I know you had, when I asked you about, you know, some things about your business and you guys, We jump on a call every evening to make sure we hash out everything. how are you optimizing self reflection? At one point in time, like whenever I first got into personal development, I think that I was a little bit more physical about it.

Like I would write things down. I'd write down my goals, the version of myself that wanted to become and now it's gotten to the point where I have enough self-awareness where everything just kind of happens in here. And I naturally look at every situation, anytime I'm having an argument, and Angela can always notice, like even if we have like an angry client one day or we're in some type of dispute with somebody, she notices how calm I am and like how I'll think to respond, I will be...

Personal Development and Learning Sales 25:00

Meanwhile, i'm like... And I'll be a little bit more logical like when in the situation, but I'm kind of like constantly self-reflecting now. Like it's like I am very overly self aware, even at the way that like we're sitting here in this, having a conversation, the ways that we are making eye contact. like that, even like where I'm looking on above your nose. I am aware of even those little things. So I think about, it's gotten like to become like a subconscious thing that I always do anytime I, that it doesn't matter what it is.

But I it think it natural for you because you were so intentional about it and you've worked it up to a point where it literally second nature to you. Um, but one thing I value most about our relationship actually is that we're able to call each other out on those blind spots. So like every day, I always ask him like, what do you think I can do better? Like, is there something or an area that I could improve on? Whether it's leading the team, am I being lazy and slacking on my diet? Is it my workouts?

Am I skipping too many days? You know, um, and I recently just got into golfing. That's been like a really big one where it's just like constant feedback and the feedback loop between us has been really great just because we can get to a point now in our marriage where we call each other out on certain things. So I think that does help. But he's so good at it that I am very inspired to try my hardest to be like that. No, there's a component of leading by example, but I think what you just touched upon is the ability to be coachable.

The ability, to, be open, the, ability take feedback or constructive criticism. How are you guys navigating disputes within your intramarital affairs, right? Outside of the business. Um, and I don't know how much argument happens. But certainly I can speak with some experience. So I know that does happen, it's inevitable. How have you guys, because it seems like you live with a very high level of intent or like intention behind your action, right? It's very, very mindful, which is great in one respect.

I'm curious how you, I don't want to say buffer that, but that can be exhausting, that has enabled you to reach a level success. which I want to segue into after. But I'm curious within your own relationship now that you guys have evolved into a new dynamic of being married. Not that I think that differs anything from before, but somehow things do change. So expand upon that in terms of like how has the dynamic changed kind of working together? Because that's all people always say, you know, don't get into.

I I always want to surround myself with people that I can trust. That to me is going to be the best kind of relationship. And so who better than your spouse, right? So I, I I've always wanted to get into business, um, with that people I trust, whether it's my closest friends or family, my kids now, because there's a huge trust component. You can lean on someone and then the ability to, to to listen to feedback or to communicate properly. or communicate in a way that someone can understand how you communicate.

When you said that earlier on, and I was thinking in terms of patients, they just want to be heard. You're absolutely right. And if you look at the traditional conventional system, I don't want undermine a lot of these practitioners who are brilliant, but they usually have seven, eight minutes. I had a patient that came to me, she had laundry list of symptoms, And she said when she saw her PCP, She's like, okay, just tell me you're number one, because I can't focus on the other eight. How can you be heard?

How could you treat that person? You're just treating a symptom. So I guess going back to the relationship, how has that kind of unfolded, that dynamic? I mean, to be honest, we don't really fight. Yeah, what is fighting? That's great then. If we do, it's something super small, like something extremely dumb. It's always me being really dumb, and I just get really irritated, especially if I'm overwhelmed with something. Um, but actually one like major shift, um, when we got married versus dating for seven years was Actually his ability to lead that's something i've noticed and also my ability To follow.

Um and I think that Being in like fight-or-flight mode and survival mode my whole life being an only child being this like you know, independent woman that can do this, that, and the other. I get tired. Like, our hormones do not operate the same, okay? So like, for me to be so high level, I'm not saying it's not possible for women to do that. But by nature, like that is not something that we're supposed to doing, right? Like biologically, we resist that so like having the ability to have a husband, a man of the household that lead, That can regulate my emotions by just saying two things to me.

has been such a cool thing for me because it's not something that I was ever able to really let go of. So I think the arguments happen because you already feel like a biased type of way about a certain situation and you don't have the ability to communicate. We spent seven years, two of which of those seven were long distance. So we had to learn how to communicate and trust each other off the rip. And then it's like, once we started to live with each. It's, like okay, now how can we communicate being in each others faces all the time?

And, then business is kind of like our first baby. and just like you're saying, you need to be around people and connect with people that you like. If we found out one of our people in our leadership team cheated on their spouse, they're off of the team. The way that you are and the way you represent our business outside of here, I mean, all of that matters because it comes back to our name. You're an extension of us. So if I'm an expansion of him, what am I saying in rooms? How do I represent him when he's not in the room?

What things am i saying? And so with any conflict, we always address that head on. Like I said, I'm always in a mood and he'll just kind of be like, okay, we're not going to do the silent treatment thing. What's bothering you? Let me help you navigate what it is. And then from there on, it's like all right, do you want to go eat? And I'll be happy. That's different. Food's the cure. The funny thing is too is that people will ask us sometimes, people that don't get it, they'll Oh my God, you guys work together too.

Like, so you're like together all the time. What do you do to get alone time and what do do for this? And it's like, we don't really want alone-time. We do everything together. Even when I picked up golfing, she picked it up right after. And now we golf together, it was like we do every thing together we prefer to do things together I think she, You went somewhere, I forgot what it is, but you were traveling somewhere for, was it a wedding or some trip? Yes, It was a Wedding. Okay, and I ended up coming with you because It was gonna be like two or three days without me, so I just came.

Yeah, you have to come. Prepare to be sick of me. I've told him that. Like, the day we said I do, but it's just like... Like I've seen so many instances where like, for example, I was with the bridesmaids and they all are talking shit about their partners. And they're like oh, hate when he does this. Or like do you know this and that and the other. I'm just sitting there like no, like I can't relate. They're, you never get to know. No. The thing is, what I have learned about marriage for just a brief period of time is just like there is no perfect person.

Like, and so many people fall into like love and infatuation with the other person, but marriage truly is like finding someone that you can deal with for a lifetime. And it's never going to get to a point where it is perfect. But what we have perfected is our level of communication, our levels of trust, aligning our morals and our values, but he's not perfect, and I'm not, either. So if we can just be imperfect together and navigate life and start a family, cool, we're going to figure that shit out.

Yeah, another bleep. You said perfection. I'm curious, imperfections, what would you say is your imperfection or things that you're like constantly trying to work on because of how intentional you are? Imperfections. You know I've always had, one of my biggest ones, I always have trouble being direct with people. I beat around the bush if it's like a rough situation. Well now I'll try to force not doing it but it still like, a huge degree of like I'm very uncomfortable. Like if I, even if i'm on like a sales call for example, and I'm telling the person that they're not a good fit for us.

A situation like that, being direct with somebody. So there are times in the past where I'd be like, yeah, I'll send you an email with all the details and then I just never send the email. Things like like if it's an uncomfortable situation where i am going to hurt somebody's feelings, it is really hard for me to be direct. And that's not good trait to have in business. Not at all. Because it will drag out. It will add up. How close were you with your parents? Good question. It was on and off, actually.

Didn't really have, I wouldn't say the closest relationship. I had a closer relationship with my mom, because my parents separated when I was 12. So it was just me living with mom. But we fought all the time.

Building AI Software for Businesses 35:00

My dad I didn't have too much relationship after I 11 or 12, yeah. I feel like we're much closer to them now and then he was growing up. But that to me because when I do a full medical intake that's relevant and there's an explanation for that. So you're conflict avoiding because once upon a time you were looking externally for validation that you don't have. And so you are avoiding conflict because you do not want to jeopardize the little that could have and so now that carries over into business because historically this is how you trying to overcome that circumstance.

And so the reason why I can speak is because I have very similar conflict avoidance of mantra as you do is I avoid it all cost. And, so now with my partner, I pass that onto her and she does very well with a heavy hand. So I think that's where you come in. That's the beauty of this tag team. Yeah. Well, literally, I said, uh, Carlos, our videographer offline, and I was like, dude, you're going to meet them. They're absolutely awesome. Ashton, obviously I know a little bit better. Um, when I go and his, his uh 18 player, Angela is, is an absolute shark.

So, um, but the good part is you acknowledge also your strengths and weaknesses and you guys, it's not even, cohabitating, its complimenting. You, you acknowledge, okay, I do very well following and there's nothing wrong with that. That's actually what we need. Someone needs to be the queen bee, someone needs be to the worker bee and understanding what that lane is. And then constantly looking for that feedback. Hey, what can I better? What can you do better and being open to that? You guys have mastered that beautifully.

To me, it's. You nailed it is when you look at the health of an individual, look, at, the, health, of their relationships with their family, with her friends. I love that you have an uncompromising ethical compass, right? If employees, they don't adhere to specific ethics, done game over because that becomes toxic and everybody loses. Right? You're anchoring down a weaker, we're only as strong as our weakest link. And that holds true at any fast. And I think what I admire that that's incredible that you guys uphold that.

But second also is we often pursue comfort. So people stay in relationship because we fear uncertainty. We fear putting ourselves out there. we feel fear of vulnerability. and so we don't want to take that leap. Right. And so instead we are in this toxic relationship and over time, that's when the cracks in the foundation arise. Over time that when disease begins to manifest internally. I see that. What was interesting, I don't know if I ever shared this with you. So when I opened up the practice almost a decade now ago, i thought this was microcosm of European culture, but then I saw it in my friends.

Nine out of 10 couples I was treating, unhappily married. Really? Wow. That's crazy. Doesn't surprise me though. Yeah. And then I looked at my relationship. I was like, my gosh, I'm becoming a product of my environment. The reason was I see, again, going back to our evolutionary biology, we pursue growth, right? Often at the expense of our relationship, i was in practice 5 a.m. to 9 p. m. Right? I didn't see my first child until she was two. What does that say about my contribution as a father, as the husband?

As a friend, a brother, or a son, insert the blank. We prioritize so much at the expense of certain other relationships and then we wonder why divorce rates are so high. It's not a wonder to me. It's just, we are focused very, very driven in certain lanes in the U.S. in this capitalistic society, which I don't want to undermine. It provides a lot of opportunity, the ability to change lives, ability help, to find security, but at the expense of our relationships and sometimes with those we care most.

And so for me, if I had it my way, I would love to make it a family business. Just like you said, if I value this person, I want to spend all my time with them. I don't see any reason why not to. So what you guys are doing, the epitome of that, that is the epidemic of success. How do you guy define success though? Both, personally and professionally. That is such a tough question. Because to this day, i feel like i made it. I was going to say the same thing. Even before, if we have a purpose to chase, we're doing things together, and we are healthy, making enough money to put a roof over our head at the bare minimum, with something that we created, and not have to work for someone else.

Yeah, I mean, even two years ago, i was saying the same thing. I was like, this is really cool. When we had like four people on the team, This is great. We're like we made it. Like we have someone on payroll. Yes. I mean, we have lots of things that we want to do, but we're genuinely, I think this was like three, four weeks ago. We were like laying in bed and I was just like, you know, like genuinely like really happy right now. Like even if it was, just everything stayed the same, the business was stagnant, didn't continue to grow.

It's like everything's great. I Think success is something that's so individualized, it's interpreted by the person. And I will say success was created by person, Because anybody can be successful in the moment that they are if they're grateful for enough things or depending on how they look at life, depending what their goals are. But I think success is created by the individual's mind. I don't think it's necessarily a thing. And I when you fabricate it and make it something that you do have to chase or something close to impossible to attain, I that's what leads to It gives people a lot of drive, but I think it leads to the opposite.

Unhappiness. Yeah, and I just think success looks different for everybody. And the more that we understand the space and we meet people that are significantly more successful than us, I think a lot of people chase success as well to please others or to be perceived a certain way by other people. Because Ashton asked me this question the other day. He's like, if money and fame did not matter, what would you do? What would do you? And I was like animal shelter for dogs. That's what I would do all day.

I Would just with any any dog doesn't matter like where you come from You don't have a home come to the shelter like and I thought about it And I was like I mean I could do that now Right, but the pay what that would perceive like what my status would look like to other people not that I like care so much about that but I just think like I had this conversation with Ashlyn a year ago, because I was like, there's so many people who are in business, maybe around the same amount of time as us. They're in Miami, they have a Lamborghini, They've got a penthouse, like they're doing all these crazy things.

And he like sat me down. Obviously business infrastructure is very different than what we're building. But he was, good things take time. Some people, prioritize their success as having things, like having more liabilities. That's sometimes what people think is success and that's fine. But like for us, it's to build something where we can actually be removed from it completely and it help us create a family. And you know what I mean? Like I never want my kids or me to ever tell our kids like that I can't afford something or that they can have that because mommy doesn't have the money to do that.

Like those are all things that heard growing up. You know, so I think the span of how quickly someone is successful or what that looks like to everybody is different, but it is something you create, ultimately, for sure. I was listening to different podcasts some time ago and they interviewed a billionaire and asked him, you know, why, how come you have no real estate, no assets, nothing? And he said, because that would tie me down. And the work that I want to do, I wanna pursue that. Anything else would be a distraction.

So it's interesting again to hear people of different walks of life, different priorities and proclivities, how they identify with success because to me it is as simple sometimes as hugging my child or a kiss for a spouse or being able to have some sort of prioritizing time together or waking up and pursuing your passion, which is your career. And then finding, I guess, balance. To me, this notion of balance doesn't really exist. It's just a question of your priorities. But how have you guys been able to find balance within the whole structure of what you've created?

Because in sort of preface, let's kind of also segue in terms of health. Because I know we were talking offline, your training for competition, you're engulfing now, which is great. But both of you guys are a model for what you stand for. I mean, health has always been a top priority. So I've never seen you sacrifice health at the consequence of trying to just pursue one single lane, acquisition of wealth. It's a understanding, okay, this is critical to help me succeed. So how have you guys found balance?

Like what routines? What do you do daily to ensure that? We always, I mean, we keep it apart. We make it a point to keep a part of our life. Angela has her, like she loves Pilates. That's like... So too does Dina. You sound so girly right now. No I'm not. This is the truth. No, I think we like for me personally I have always found a way to work it in.

Listening, Communication, and Relationship Dynamics 45:00

I don't think unless I'm sick or have the flu like in the last five years I would go two days without you know doing some sort of exercise like it would something really bad would have to happen for you to skip. And that's always kind of how I've been like I make sure it's like So when there's a part that I know that's important, even if people don't prioritize their health, they know it's Important, right? And they probably do have fitness goals, Even if it is not a priority, They probably have a goal of what they would either like to look like or what They would like feel like, etc.

So, when I notice that there are things like that in my life, I try to make the actions that support my goal in that area of my life, I try to make it like it's something that I can't avoid, like brushing your teeth when you wake up in the morning, brushing you teeth before you go to bed. That's kind of how I've built exercise in my live. I think the habits and the actions that you take make a huge impact on the goal that have for that are of your life. Makes a lot of sense. So when I worked with the Philadelphia Eagles, Like a, what's it called?

like natural pathic, what is that called? I'm like integrative medicine. Integrative Medicine practice, sorry. And one of the things that I recognized from almost every patient that came through there was they more so had mental health issues more than they did physical. So it is so important to understand that like your physical health like really stems from your mind. And really the only natural way to increase your endorphins is through exercise. That's one of the main activities you can do to expend that hormone.

And so I think for us, we understand that if we're not healthy, No one will be here for our kids. No, one. Will be Here to run the business if there's no us there is none of this that we're working so hard to build and and nowadays like I think The trend is like going to the gym and you know, like everyone's on this like fitness grind and whatever But it's just like if you make it a chore then you're gonna treat it like a chores so like you just understand the benefits of exercise and how it very much correlates to your heart health, your gut health.

I mean your brain health and I think like more people would actually exercise you know then it always being about weight loss or the way you look but like the actual benefits 20 to 30 minutes of walking every day like people have no idea. how important movement is for your body to function, for the organs to functional internally, you know, more so. But yeah, that's why it's just like a no-brainer for us to incorporate that every day. The study just came out from U of I and they were evaluating an older demographic and found three 30-minute walking sessions per week was able to preserve and sometimes even reverse some sort of loss in gray matter, but preserve hippocampal volume.

I mean, it's remarkable. Movement is medicine. So too is nourishment. And you look at it like when things become a chore, if you use the word diet, it has the words die in it. I don't know. That always has stuck with me. It's like you're trying to be restrictive, but that's the problem is we equate being restrictive as having to healthy. And you said before, they're like, well, let's just go eat and solve this. If you look at a lot of these food shows, I mean, you are traveling the world through the lens of food and connecting with culture and community, and it's something so almost sacred.

But here in the American culture, we live in a convenient fast food culture and the food is the afterthought. And so then you have to go on a diet to prevent yourself from dying because you're metabolically unhealthy instead of focusing on nourishment. When you look at mental health, that has grown tremendously and worse still is now that we're seeing kids in practice, this is crazy. I mean, what we've seen in our adults are now happening as teenagers. It is such a sad reality. And my focus for almost the last decade now was really understanding the microbiome and the interplay with every biological system it has and certainly the mental health component.

This was interesting because I was watching this other show where the interviewer had asked the guest, What would you start with the mind or the body in order to kind of optimize? And the host said, well, definitely the mind. The mind controls the body. And then the interviewer actually said. Well, I would much like your response. I will start with the. Because the endorphin effect and that will then provide the neurotransmitters and provide happy hormones that elicit, you know, this kind of content in the mine.

Simple, simple things just as movement, doing what you, it doesn't have to be, you know, slaving away, do whatever you enjoy. That's what we encourage people like find the movement that works best for you. Certainly focusing on nourishment because what, what your feed your, your microbes, I mean, we're more bacterial DNA than, than we are human. We're like 57% bacteria, 43% human, legitimately. So what you feed your microbes will dictate what hormones you secrete and especially what neurotransmitters you secret.

And so we see now within the youth, unfortunately, specific signatures when they have poor microbial diversity. I have these mental health patients coming to me. All I'm doing is cleaning up here and they're coming off all their antidepressants, all the anti-anxiolytics. I mean, it's remarkable. What you can do is we're not a deficiency in a prescription. We're a efficiency in our lifestyle. And that's the difference. And I want to applaud you guys because you have genuinely optimized every part of your lifestyle, but I see it's been very, very intentional by design, it sounds like, and difficult.

I think it is also the idea of immediate gratification. so much fighting to this very moment. And that's like in success, right? Delayed gratification, like gluttony, delayed gratifications. So I think it's just like, in every aspect of your life, if you think that it is going to just be immediate and you don't have kind of that discipline to control that and the self-awareness to that, I that is where people fall short. Because the whole idea around mental health or just weight loss and you know all the concepts that we're talking about.

I think people just expect like quick results and people expect things to be fixed immediately or there's like wallowing in self-pity because they're like oh I'm anxious that's why I am this way. Oh yeah before volleyball tournaments I would projectile bomb it. Everyone, every single one. I asked my mom. It was this ongoing thing. Never understood it, but it was because I had college coaches coming out to scout me at these tournaments, and so I'd have this horrible self-talk. of like, you're going to shank your pass.

You're gonna miss your serve and like all of that. I mean, luckily I still got recruited, but it was just, I noticed that in college. Like I wasn't doing that so much anymore because of my self-talk and because I've recognized like okay, so I have to work towards being the best athlete. And again, delaying that gratification of working towards that, You know, that self-talk is actually really important. And one of these things, one the funniest ways that you can tell, especially if you're actually looking for it, is how you behave.

You probably hear people make jokes in their dreams, how like, this is like how it feels to run in your dream. Like when you are trying to running, it's like so heavy you could never get away from whatever is chasing you in you dream, if feel like that, thats a direct reflection of your self talk and your own confidence in yourself. If in your dreams, the reverse starts happening and you start having more confident dreams where you're able to run faster or defeat whatever's happening in you dream, it is because you are a more competent version of yourself.

Dreams, I would say, are a manifestation of kind of what your subconscious looks like. And what's interesting, not to go too deep into the sleep, but sleep is really the crux of any sort of wellness plan. When patients come into us, the first thing I ask them is sleep. when someone is looking to improve their metabolic profile, I ask them, you know, what's the shortcut to fat loss? And 99% no one says sleep. But that's when we repair. That's what we rebuild. that is when our hormones are upregulated so that we can be fat burning instead of fat storing.

And sleep is often the afterthought, but the dreams are certainly interesting and the self-talk is equally, if not so, more powerful because what I found are often enough And it's not for necessarily a lack of desire otherwise. People are very self-sabotaging and it starts with their self talk. But I'll take it one step further. I'm being a little bit more vulnerable. So three girls, first pregnancy we had partner was on her A game. She was doing the supplements, the nutrition, and the movement.

Our relationship was good. We were very, very connected. Um, second, not so much. Okay. And the third in between, fast forward years later, I did a stool analysis and all three of them. First one had the greatest richness and diversity in her microbiome. Happy-go-lucky kid, out of where in the world. Second one, remember, relationship not good.

Marriage, Imperfections, and Self-Awareness 55:00

Her nutrition was not great. She was very, very stressed. Not much sleep because also the first child, things were going on with us and, um, it was just not dialed in. And there were also health issues within her family. The baby was effectively washing cortisol. Let's look at her to the stool analysis, the lowest amount of richness and diversity in her microbiome. I didn't know what the terrible twos meant until I met my second child. And then it was terrible two, threes and fours. But now doing that, I can intervene.

We gave her GABA. She was producing very little, if no GAB or you're calming neurotransmitter, If you will. You need specific microbes to do that. Specific Lactobacillus plantarum, Bifidobacteria longum. she was missing those. How interesting. So it's not necessarily dictated sometimes by our own self-talk, but maybe the microbes that we're missing. That's crazy. She is the first one to self-sabotage. I'm a bad child. We'll get into this fight, flight or freeze where she crunches up and she's crying and self deprecating.

It's not necessarily a component of, yes, she lacks the emotional Wherewithal, I mean, being two or three or four, like very, very young, right? So she doesn't understand. It's difficult to step outside to be intentional and say, okay, this is how I'm reacting. Here are the tools now that I can intervene, whether it's meditation or, you know, diaphragmatic breathing, or I like step back and analyze. Um, but it influences our children, our decisions, your decisions your parents' decisions. We don't realize how your condition, environment, the people that you keep close to you, how the health of your relationship, all this influences sometimes our self-talk.

Or the lack of self-talk, interestingly. But that was very, very brilliant what you alluded to there because I find often enough, the people that are, my patients that come to see us who are the unhealthiest, they have a very self critical self talk, if you will. And it's a lot of guilt that they wear for whatever. Whether there was failures in a relationship in their finances or their careers. The funny thing is too, and this will be probably one of the last, I think we might be coming up on time, but the self-sabotage aspect.

Sometimes people are comfortable being in, as crazy as it sounds, they're more comfortable in being a fight or flight state. So in chasing, whether it's a low bank account, let's use that for an example. Yeah, people will get a promotion or do this or that and somehow subconsciously the decisions that they make on a daily basis will keep them in the exact same position of having the same money in their bank account no matter how large the salary gets. It's almost like they're comfortable being in there because that's what they always experience.

And I always thought that that was interesting. Self-sabotage is a real thing and people don't realize it. People adopt a diagnosis which then becomes their identity. And so no matter what is said, no, matter, what has done, they adhere to that. Whatever kind of someone tells them that becomes their identity, They adopt that whatever changes the environment, change the context. It's still kind, of inert or I mean, it's, still innate. And, so, yes, sadly, that, becomes the reality. I don't know if you wanted to, is you had some interjection.

No, I just think that it, sticking to the labels. Right? Like, because I noticed even growing up, I would look around and all these big houses, they all had BMWs or Audis. And like, when we all were like 16, 17, all of my friends would also get these BMW's and these Audies and whatever. But their dads in the driveway, like they'd be the first to leave in morning and the last one to come home. So I'm sitting here and I am like, dang, these guys, their parents are just never home and it's because every time he got promoted, he's got a new car, upgraded the house, got the pool in backyard.

And so you don't recognize that it is self-sabotage, you know, because it just like I have access to more capital, let's spend it on something and get another liability. But I think like You know, all to say that a lot of the self-sabotage that I think that dealt with before my personal development journey was because I stuck to the labels that gave myself. It's like not necessarily that people were giving me those labels, but I would sit there and say, oh, I'm projectile vomiting before tournaments because i have anxiety.

So now I am labeling myself as someone with anxiety, But then if I switch my frame to be like, oh, everyone's anxious. I just suck at navigating what to do when I am anxious because I can be, I mean, anxiety is the fear of something that's never happened or assuming that what's already happened is going to get worse. So if I can understand and navigate my anxiety instead of sticking to that label and being someone who's anxious or someone that has anxiety, someone needs to be on medication because she's anxiety.

I just think that idea of self-sabotage just exists because people don't understand how to get rid of that. or how to move past that. Sometimes they're being told that as well. Now we're in a place where people are being TOLD that they have anxiety. Or people ARE being TOLED that have depression. And I think that there are... Like, no, I'm just really sad. There are some genuine... cases obviously in states where people really do have a higher level of cortisol or they are more prone to those types of feelings.

But for the most part, a lot of the people who are on those kinds of medications don't need it. Sometimes they need movement. Positive self-talk. Exactly. Lifestyle medicine. It is. So when you talked about anxiety, I just give people therapeutic dosing of L-theanine, amino acid and green tea. For real. But the reality is going back to lifestyle, let's understand why. Let's look at your full medical history, look your familial history. What's happening, what's going on in your environment. Because often enough, again, we don't realize we're being conditioned.

And it's even sometimes just within our two years that the conditioning happens right here. So I know we're approaching on time a couple last questions here. The future of where you guys are going. Where do you think the future is going in terms of your company, in term of the industry, what you are trying to create personally, professionally? Yeah, I think in the next couple of years, personally, we want to start having a family. I don't think that's going to be the goal. Business-wise, i think we finally found a lane where we're kind of in something that will last forever in what we are building for businesses.

At this point, it's really just going to the basics of business and continuing that, like making the clients happy, not losing clients at a fast rate, continuing to sign clients up and continue to deliver at good job and then being able to replicate that across more people. That's a problem, one of the problems that we didn't know we were going run into was how hard it is to keep doing a good once you expand your team. Because it's no longer you and a couple of other people that you're leading. It's now you, and then other that people you have to teach to be leaders, then them leading the team.

And if you are a poor leader, or you did a bad job turning those people into leaders. Then you have one leader who isn't doing a good job leading. Things don't get QC'd, things don' get rolled out. There's no downfall if something goes wrong and then things start to stir up and it's really hard to pinpoint what the problem is if you don''t reverse engineer it that way. So for the longest time we were running into some fulfillment problems and we're like, It's the people, like we're hiring the wrong people.

We need to fix our hiring process. But then we realize for like, no, it's not us running these team members anymore. And why is it only people under this person specifically that's running into all these problems? Maybe it is the leader. And maybe it's the fact that we didn't make them a good leader. And it was like reverse engineering that is tough because a lot of people get stuck there. People will say that most businesses that make it beyond one will never make a beyond three. I think that's one of the reasons why is because they're solving the wrong problem.

It's so easy to say, it's the people that I'm hiring, they're incompetent or we don't have the right systems or, we do have to write this. But once you start getting beyond that one million mark, most of the time it starts to become leadership because it is not just you anymore. People problem. Oh yeah. Once you reach your first million, you're like, oh shoot, like these people are an extension of Um, so like every day I'm always like, what can I do better? Like, am I, you know, leading the team in the right way?

Just because like if you don't delegate properly, um, then yeah, it's, like you're going to go through growth pains regardless, but But yeah, I just think with our business, it's been really cool just because obviously we're building our dream, you know what I mean? So we don't have a three-year plan, two- year plan. I don' even know we are making for breakfast tomorrow, what we have for dinner tonight maybe, but it is like we taking every day, literally by day. And I think that the more that you are intentional with all of the time, that you have, just because it's a blessing just to wake up every day with optimal health.

You can get out of bed without feeling pain, you can do the things that want. For us, it is just, I know that Ashton is going to be very successful.

Health, Movement, and Mental Wellness 1:05:00

And you know, not to get all like, lovey-dovey, but I just know that he has the discipline to do it. Being a D1 athlete and also just the charisma that has, I know he's very intentional about everything he does. So for me, my job is going to be to protect the four walls that protect our family and our home and him so that can come home to just be able to disconnect. Because business is just, it takes so much of you. You know, so yeah, I think for us, it's just gonna be, there's gonna come a place where like, we're gonna have to split roles, you know where I would still love to still be involved in the business in some way, always, but I For me, my purpose.

Yeah, Dina said the same thing for sure. And understanding again those roles and the business as a child. So you guys are already prepping, you don't realize that. But I know you have a dog or two. Which is also prepped for a job. Honestly, that instills discipline. People don' t realize it. In terms of leadership though, any books or resources that helped you become a leader or anything that has kind of worked for you guys? How to Win Friends and Influence People. That's a good one. It's really good.

If you're talking about more a corporate level of thinking, it's Scaling Up, if you've ever heard of that book. What are the podcasts? I feel like we've... Simon Sinek. Oh, he's incredible. He is a great leader. I watch a lot of his on YouTube. He speaks live, he basically speaks for a living. But we've learned a lots just by watching his live talks that he has. You can just tell that he is a phenomenal leader. And it doesn't seem like he's necessarily like an operator. It just seems like, he just knows how to lead.

He knows that to find someone's zone of genius and how put them and place them in the right place. How to make them motivated, how they get them bought into a mission or vision. I think that's super important. Yeah, and he also talks to Navy SEALs and some hardcore military dudes and asks them about that. And one aspect that I really, really appreciated that he talked about was that they'd much rather have somebody on the team with high trust and low performance than high performance and no trust.

So we navigate our entire business like that because there are people on our team that have been here from the beginning. And yeah, there's been times where they made a mess of an account and mess up relationships with clients, but their loyalty and their hard work and ethic has been so just unfathomable for us to like be able to just sit there and appreciate. Like we're just, I don't know where that loyalty comes from, Yeah, we'll keep those people any day. It was the four quadrants and that was top one when they look at seals as well.

And the trust component I think supersedes all. This has been a genuine pleasure. I know we're over time. We're gonna have to definitely do a round two in the new year here. Last question I end every episode with is, and you guys can't say the same thing. Oh God. If you had one superpower, any superpower what would it be? Mind reading. Eat whatever I want and not get fat. That's a good one too. Smiles across the board. This has been absolutely awesome. You guys are next level. So again, congrats on the marriage.

The next step. Congrats on success within your own baby and your business. And where can people find you, track you if they want to reach out or inquire, learn more? YouTube channel and Instagram, Ashton11Wilson on both of them. For Angelo. Ang S. Wilson now on Instagram. And if someone is looking to kind of sign up with what you guys are doing, same. Website? Yeah, absolutely. ActiveSolutions.ai. Okay. For everyone listening, please like, subscribe, and review. That allows us to reach more eyes and ears.

Share this with anyone you feel that can benefit in terms of anything that we discussed today. There's been a whole heap of golden nuggets here. And this has been an genuine pleasure. Thank you guys for your time. I love being able to reconnect here and for everyone tuning in. Stay healthy, stay wealthy. Thank you for tuning in to the TBD Fit podcast on Dr.

Future Plans, Leadership, and Closing 1:10:00

Talks, where we unpack all things health and longevity. If you enjoy the show, like, review and subscribe. This allows us to have a greater reach and help others on their health