Why Negative Thinking Is A Habit You Can Unlearn

Introduction to Georgia Foster and the topic 0:00

- Welcome back everyone to another amazing episode here at The Medicine of Mindset Summit. I'm Jana back here with you with, I'm gonna, I don't even think I have to go out on a limb here and say that this lovely woman that we're going to get a chance to get to know over the next half an hour, 45 minutes is a friend of mine, our paths cross probably about four or 56 months ago. And you know how there's people that you connect with and you just connect and you're like, oh yeah, I want more of her in my life. And so, you know, this project with The Medicine of Mindset Summit was coming up and I immediately asked would you be on my stomach to which she quickly said yes, So this is Georgia Foster, everyone, I want to introduce you to her, we're gonna be talking all about why negative thinking is a habit that you can unlearn now listen to this amazing woman. She's a clinical hypnotherapist and a voice um dialogue trainer and I can't wait to dive into that.

She specializes in alcohol reduction, emotional overeating self esteem and anxiety. All right. And she lives in Melbourne Australia with all of her boys, her partner Ian and her triplet boys. I've got three boys, but they're not triplets. So when I found out that she birthed three boys at one time, I was like, okay, that is amazing. Ali Finn and Hugh and she's been featured all over in the media in the UK and Australia. And so we get her all to ourselves on the virtual stage at The Medicine of Mindset Summit.

So Georgia, thank you so much for joining us today. - Thank you for having me. We're looking forward to it. - Okay, so first of all, I love the title of what we're gonna be talking about. So why negative thinking is a habit. You can unlearn, let's start, let's kind of start there. Help us understand why so many people really just fall into these repeated patterns. They have these good intentions to be well and

Why negative thinking becomes a habit 2:12

you, I mean I don't know if this is like an Australian saying, but I hear it lots with my clients. I've fallen off the wagon and I'm like, there's no wagon to fall off of, right? So why do people want, why do they fall into this? These repeated patterns and how do they get out of them? - I believe my mother's calling me now. Yeah. So what, what, sorry? Yeah, this is like, isn't it like three kids home sick from school today? So I was like really what it's about? Is there is no such thing as willpower.

So somebody who's got grand plans to do something on a Monday because it tends to be on Monday right after binging or feeling not good about themselves or thinking they're going to that new gym class, whatever it is is all of those intentions are fantastic. But if you have a history of sabotaging that then your mind will tend to default your mind is very lazy, so when somebody says to me George, I can't make this change, I can't lose weight or I can't feel better or I can't find a partner, I'm saying part of the issue is you're not the problem, that's the good news is, it's the thinking, it's the habitual thinking that's causing the problem and a great example would be, you know, you know, we can stretch ourselves for two or three days and then a friend says, oh you know, I've just got a new job and I'd love you to come and have a glass of wine with me, my treat for a beautiful meal and think, oh I've just, I've just, I'm going to fail, I'm gonna fail.

And so instead of thinking about that opportunity as a beautiful moment is we tend to default back, I've already failed before I start. So I'm very much about the neuro plasticity, right? So if you can imagine the mind is like a Christmas tree and every time you felt any bit of anxiety or stress boredom, which is a big gig for a lot of people, we tend to fire off the immediately, which is a fear based part of the brain, the media, there are actually two almond shaped parts of the brain and when you're scared, that's what fires off, So in a nanosecond, if somebody says, I need to talk to you after that meeting and you kind of go, oh my God, what have I done wrong? Your mind will instantly tune into you've done something wrong and go into that fight or flight syndrome and then your body needs to find ways to extinguish that a lot of people use food or alcohol, sex exercise. One would be hopefully meditation or hypnosis.

But you know, we do default to two positions that aren't necessarily helpful. And as a therapist, we would call it one trial learning where somewhere in your past something happened that was quite highly negatively charged or traumatic. And when that happens, then when something similar happens again, the mind will tend to go back to that response again. So it's not that you want to have those five cookies or want to retreat to your bed for the day. It's because your mind genuinely thinks it has a solution because it did it last time. So I really want to emphasize that I'm very much about forward thinking. I'm more progressive rather than regressive.

And a lot of people use regressive techniques to find out the why or the win. But I'm like, you know what, we don't need to be there again. And part of my mind medicine is with my audience is to really, really work on the fact that if you did that learning before you can do more learning in another way. You know, you just need to work with the mind and and that's what's really important. So I'm very pro saying right let's move on. How do we do that? Whether it's eating, smoking drinking, not wanting to be intimate or not wanting to connect with people is that that is actually a learned behavior.

You know I always say luke, people are beautiful people and after a couple glasses of wine they become your best friend. You know, what is it? And I think in the mix, what we need to understand when it comes to substances like alcohol or food or cigarettes is that it does trigger a chemical reaction like dopamine serotonin. So people aren't getting hooked into the substances, they're getting hooked into the chemicals. And that's what a lot of people need to respect that. That you know, I always say it's the thinking before the unhelpful behavior, the sabotaging behavior because ultimately nobody wants to hurt themselves, nobody wants to be unkind to themselves. It's just that we are conditioned, I don't know about you in the U. S. But in America we have, they're saying the tallest poppy flower in the wind will fall down.

And a lot of people in Australia don't don't be too loud, don't be too craig eric whatever, you know. And so I feel that my mission on this planet is to is to improve self esteem, that's what it is bottom line is it's all about self esteem and we're not born with it, we have to learn it, you know, with three kids, it's just like, it's, and as an adult, it's a maintenance program to, you know, you have to keep at it, it's really important. - So this, this weeklong summit that is happening right now is happening, or people are watching it and it's the end of January four weeks after New

How hypnosis helps rewire patterns 8:09

Year's resolutions have been made after these grandiose, like, you know, I'm a mediator, but on January 1st I decided to become a vegetarian, there are these grandiose thoughts that we have at certain times of the year, I believe, because we're conditioned to think now is the time right? Like it's a brand new year, let's just start. And so for those people who are now four weeks into 3.5, 4 weeks into 2023 maybe they're feeling like here, you know, here I, here I go again, you know, I wanted to move more, drink less, quit smoking, and now we're almost at the end of january, and I find myself, you know, back in the habits or patterns that I wanted to change.

How does, like, let's answer that question in the realm of how does hip, how does hypnotherapy, what does it do to help to change some of those old patterns old behaviors, because I'm sure some of our audience thinks, well, isn't that where you're, you know, you go and you have a night out and you go and watch people cluck like a chicken on stage and and that's what they know as as hypnosis. So let's just really frame what is this form of therapy and how can it start to rewire the brain in a different way?

- Well, hypnosis is a natural experience. You know, you can't go to sleep without going through hypnosis. So that's the biggest myth Georgia, I can't possibly be hypnotized and that's fine because a lot of people are under the big misconception that you have to be look like a chicken, right? The natural fact it's a natural brainwave. So when you go into sleep and when you wake in the morning you are in hypnosis for around about 20, minutes now. This is also a form of meditation. So the only difference between meditation and hypnosis is that hypnosis person, the hypnotherapist would tend to execute the information as meditation would be a self process. But the same goal is there.

And I think the thing about hypnosis is, you know, it's a beautiful brain wave where your unconscious mind becomes more conscious, where the emotional part of the brain starts to function and you can start to work. You know, the brain is malleable pliable and adaptable to change so that when we are conscious we're not able to make changes very easily. So it's the hypnotic part of the mind that can make that change now, you know, if you for example could use quit smoking is a really good example of it, but you've got to change the emotional conditioning.

So if somebody feels that when they're feeling lonely they eat, you have to have to introduce to that part of the mind how to feel confident and calm without food in the equation. It sounds simple, but it really is, but you've got to use the emotional conditioning that works with it rather than against it. So you have to be in a relaxed state, you have to, you know, you have to want to make the change. But you know, if you consciously want to make a change without success, it doesn't mean you can't do it, you've got to go to the part of the brain that allows change to happen. So it's gonna be congruent.

So your conscious wishes on a Monday go Yeah, great on the end of January and that's a really good example of it, is that you can be gung ho and be all or nothing. You know, you're either here or here on the spectrum, either exercising that crazy or or binge eating and I'm changing a particular psychology which is the voice dialogue training you were talking about, it's an amazing union psychology and it really is about that we're all made up of many parts or sub personalities and there's one trait called the inner critic and then a critic is the one that says before you even get there, oh, you're gonna screw up. You know, you're only going to be successful for January and you're gonna go back to your normal February habits.

And this could be it's not the truth, but it could be because of history onyx history of life, because the mind is lazy once again, and will tend to default rather than make new scenarios become reality. So hypnosis can really fast track people. It can help people be in a better space to. Right, well this January, I'm going to be successful. So but you've got to remember the inner critic, we all have an inner critic, you can't get rid of it, that's the bad news, but you can learn to manage it. And that's really what what my work is about. Is that the inner critical b you know, and it loves critical people on the outside too. Right?

So anybody like a critical parent who says, you know, your sister is better than you, or a boss who says that person did it better than you, or it could be anything but remember that the inner critic loves external critics. So if you've got a strong inner critic, you will have questions about your self esteem. You may not be aware of it, but you know, you're in a critical who just loves your history of life. So hypnosis is a beautiful way to introduce that authenticity. That intuitive, you and I'll say anybody who has had grand plans through the month of January to be fitter or healthier or become vegan or whatever it is, or lose weight or get that job or whatever it is.

Remember that part within you that ignited that desire is genuinely there, it's there, it never went away, but the inner critic just squashes it every time it tries to get up and says I'm going to do it this time, you know? And I'm really about let's train the brain to be present them more than that critical part of the brain, you know, because it will always sabotage because it I think that one of my biggest top tips, remember, the inner critic can't see into your future. It pretends to have these crystal ball moments and this might happen and that might happen.

But it doesn't have any futuristic ability at all, but your intuition does, and that's what's really interesting about working with hypnosis is you can train the mind to be present to trust in the future because we don't know exactly what's around the corner. But you know, you know, there's a very famous saying by a famous kundalini Yogi is it's not the life you have is the courage that you bring to it. And I would assume everybody who's listening to what we're talking about today and all the other the other people speaking is that there's something inside you that knows the authenticity and the creativity and the solution problem problem solving to health and well being and that's really what I kind of, that's what I specialize in, to train the mind to suppress that self doubt and bring in that beautiful part within you that knows it's safe to be successful.

You know, and you were talking before about, you know, going through the month of January that all or nothing thing and statistics do show that people who go to the absolute like it's okay to decide not to drink through the month of January to flush liver out. It's good to go vegan for a month. We know toxicity comes from a lot of preserved foods and all those sorts of things. And if there's nothing wrong with that. But if you go back to the old habits before that make you feel bad again, you know, I would like you to know that you don't have to go back there and really, and there's a particular personality trait that can get into bed with the inner critic and it's called the perfectionist and it just loves it when you're 100% here and then when you have one little piece of cake you go, oh my God, I've screwed it up and then you go the other side and then there's the binging or this, that I don't care about myself, I'm not going to go to the gym this week and that lack of self care and I'm really about this all or nothing thing keeps you in an anxious state, keeps you in a in a place that doesn't feel comfortable.

But once again the mind if you're used to that behavior, it's where you're familiar. So you need to train your mind to be familiar to be in the middle bit.

Breaking the inner critic and perfectionism 17:00

The middle bit that says I can have some cake, I can go to the gym today, I don't feel like it tomorrow, whatever it is, but just decide more intuitively about how you're going to consume or do or feel rather than from a fair base. - So Georgia is some of what you've touched on what you would call sabotaging success or what exactly is sabotaging success. - Well success is unfamiliar to the mind. So what is beautiful like when I had a clinic in London for in the UK, I'm from Australia, voted in London for 23 years and one of the techniques I would use with clients and I have all of my programs is a future technique. So for example, if you have a fear of success, somebody could say you know people perfect failure not because it's normal, it's because it's what is familiar, your mind has to become familiar with success. Now success comes in very many different shapes and sizes and a classic example of a client of mine who came to see me, who she really wanted to meet somebody, a very successful corporate girl and she wanted to meet a very successful corporate guy. And the one thing is she didn't want to do is marry somebody like her sister who was a plumber because she said she needed somebody who had the same mindset, but ironically she's now married to a plumber.

But but but the joke is really is about the truth, I said to when you become intuitive to the right person is we have these plans about what we think the future looks like. But when you become more intuitive you are attracting beautiful situations that unfold that you would never have thought of before. And I love helping people realize their potential and that really is about the success of the excitement of not knowing your future. And like my client, you know, is that we have these beliefs or these misconceptions that we have to be a certain way by a certain time their lives, you know, like like 50 I have to have done this and if I haven't done that then I haven't achieved or whatever it is. You know, what we need to honor is that being perfect, gets this really trapped in a state that doesn't help us.

So in a roundabout way talking about the successes, I really love people to even just for five minutes with your meditation will put some lovely beautiful Mozart on and just imagine that you don't know that the you don't need to know what the outcome looks like. Imagine past the event, it having been achieved how you feel. You feel blessed and have gratitude and feel happy sometimes what we expect is that we want a red sports car. But actually we realized when we were in a good space that red sports car isn't really what we want could be what you want. But we definitely we categorize our success by a lot of things that when you really get there aren't that important.

- So let's take this conversation to what what would be a first step. So how can we quickly make healthy emotional changes so that we can gain some momentum and start to move past some of the you know the inner critic, the perfectionist. - Well one of them is you and I mean I know I'm going to probably be big cliche here but is first of all most is getting into nature, the energy of nature is very important. And I am a massive firm believer in meditation stroke hypnosis because it can get you there very quickly. And then when when you're in a good space it could be, you know calling a friend who makes you laugh, you really need to break the state if you're in that inner critic moment and the world's doom and gloom and you're thinking, oh my goodness. You know, you know how is life going to get better? All of these things are really about your in a negative space. So I always say that in a critic is there, it's not you, it's a personality trade.

So dialogue with it. What is it scared about? Right it down, Keep an emotional diary for a week. What are you negatively saying to yourself? Is that that you know, I need to exercise X amount. Well, what if you didn't do that? What if you know, somebody once asked me what's more important Georgia to exercise the mind or exercise the body because they both produce endorphins, right? I say exercise the mind first because once you exercise the mind first is you will be able to expand your thinking. And you know, I think that if you can 25 minutes a day, even five minutes a day nip to the bathroom, if you're at work, sit on the toilet, put the lid down, sit on the toilet and just imagine the situation being experienced in a positive way.

So the critic is just a passing thought. It doesn't hold for some people, it's stronger in their everyday life, but really, you know, in order to move past it, you need to understand that the thinking is a mind set. So bringing in like what's your funny video? Just break the state? Breathwork box breath work is good too. I know with your breath work is really important. We do, shall I breathe when we're fearful. So changing your breath is a really good way to do that. There are so many ways to break that state, but you have to make sure that you give yourself the time to do it.

And I always say, you know if you don't have the time, I had this, I was just telling somebody the other day, I was being interviewed by somebody who was asking me the question about my life. And this is a really important thing when I was training when I was a hypnotherapist and I was in London and I was working in those days, you called it a secretary, a personal assistant. And I was working on a trading floor in the business district of London. And I really, I just loved what I just loved when I discovered hypnosis and then I was teaching in the university's hypnosis, but I still was trying to hold on to everything because I was worried about money and I was worried about everything. Many critics said, you know, you're not quite there yet, you're not quite there yet.

And I remember the clinic I used to go to in London had all different different types of practitioners and one of the, one of the Reiki masters said to me George, you've missed, you've missed something here because I was telling my story about being overwhelmed by all these things I had to do to try and achieve and be there. And I was lecturing every weekend at the university and I was building my clinic every night and then I was trying to whatever and he said if you don't make space nothing you can come in, it's just like the penny dropped.

He said the world, the universe universe can't help you if you can't make space for it change can't happen unless you allow some breath. And I'm like oh my God, so quit my full time job. I went part time and the clients just start to come, They just they just kept coming and he was right and I think that's part of it is

Practical steps for change and self-esteem 25:00

you've got to make a space to make change. You know if you're still keeping on the same drum, you know, I can't do this, I don't have time for that, there's no space to change. So I think January is a good month to make that space to make that change. - I love that. And even if it's something as simple as cleaning out a closet or your fridge or just you know, just that the act of decluttering can send that really strong message, right? It doesn't have to be big and grandiose, right? - No, and that's a really good point.

I know they say when women are about to give birth they tend to clean the house, is that right? But I mean speaking of the mother intuitiveness and it's not necessarily a female trait, but it does tend to be more obvious is that a lot of people are pleaser nurturers and that's another issue is if you tend to be a pleaser and you're really good at looking after everybody else um then that is just a really good sign of that. You don't feel your worth the time and the energy. And I think that's a really important thing to think about. You know, people can be a beautiful combination of that perfectionist where they're really driven and that nurture that pleaser but they tend to leave themselves last and they do tend to attract bullies and narcissistic personality disorder and things like that. So yeah, I think I think January is a beautiful month just to recalibrate and start to think about going into February with some beautiful tools that enhance your sense of emotional well being and to really honor that it's time to please you.

You know, - Can you help us understand why self esteem plays such a major role in making these changes? - Well it's the inner critic, you know, once you're in a critic turns itself down then you realize you can do whatever you want to do. And I think that, you know, I think you know, classic sign of perfection would say, oh it's too hard, I won't do that. But actually when you with the power of your mind, if you start to rehearse the outcome, you know rehearse you experiencing it and seeing the results, amazing things happen, you know, and as I said self esteem is something we're not warm with, we really have to work at it, we have to practice it.

- And I think you said something really important here that I just want to follow up on you're doing such a good job of framing these, you know, the inner critic and the perfectionist so that we can identify like oh there it is, there's that inner critic right? Like it's like we're almost like naming the thing, what is there something in your practice or in your model that is the opposite of the inner critic. Like if requiring our inner critic, what are we giving or empowering in that model? - Yeah, I call it the insured confident part that call parked.

So this is where people, you know, if you train your mind and it's very, it really is just needed five minutes a day. Just practice feeling safe and bringing in beautiful moments that make you feel safe. It could be positive memories or ones that you want to create because locals say George I don't have those memories that well we're going to create them now and does that beautiful moment of creating them. So that core intuitive you is where you're here and you may deviate to the inner critic, you may deviate to the perfectionist, you may deviate to the pleaser but that where you reside, where you make your decisions is with that beautiful part.

So that's really the core part. That as I said said yes to hearing us talk today, that part that said I want to make a difference. This January for myself. And as I said it just, it just needs to be rehearsed. It needs to be practiced, it needs to be honored, it needs to be respected because a lot of people genuinely everybody wants to feel better about themselves. And you know, I was, you know, I was saying to one of the moms at school the other day, you know what we need to do is a lot of parents look at their Children as their self esteem. Like I'm successful because they've got a law degree or whatever Children, you know, they have their own aspirations and inspirations and we forget as adults. We do too.

And I think that anybody can make a change, you know, but it does, it just takes a bit of practice. But you know, the conscious mind unfortunately, you know where we're most present during our everyday life isn't emotionally doesn't have the resources to make those changes. You've got to go to the source to that beautiful part of the mind and remember as we talked about with the breath is that the mind manages the body and and when you're in a good space, your body will respond better when you're feeling intuitive everything's easier. So the flow on is just incredible.

So it's that authentic part that really that knows you don't have to be perfect if you don't have to be this blonde or this tall or this rich or whatever. Because I always say if my, when I was in London, I used to work with a lot of very well known people in the theater, in the music industry, a lot of people in business. And I used to think if only the walls could talk, you know, these people who would say Georgia, I'm faking it till I make it, you know, I'm not really, really successful in my head.

And these are people who would think, wow, you know, we know a lot about we should, I should say we don't know a lot what's going on other people's minds. So just respect that when you walk into a party or walk into a room, there are critics having a bit of a time as well. But there might be better at covering up or they might be better at extinguishing it. But you know, it's really about learning that we're all in this together energetically I believe and the more that we are kinder to ourselves and the more we're kind to ourselves and we're kinder to the outside world and that's what really need to be doing.

- So before we came on and I hit record, I was mentioning that I've been rounding out our all of our interviews with two basic questions just to kind of bring all of my speakers back to a common kind of common space. And so I want to ask you those two questions now and the first is based on what you know about your area of expertise, you know this this area of improvement and you know health and wellness, personal development, what do you think is not being talked about enough? - Anxiety. I think anxiety is a curse.

It's you know, I know that in Australia and the U. S. People are heavily medicated because of anxiety. I had a client of mine in Britain once she was this very sex and singing um successful businesswoman when she came to London, she would always book in to see me and she said I figured out the difference between America and Britain, she said in in in Britain you have a pub on every corner, in America, we have a pharmacy and I've I've never forgotten that and

Anxiety, personal mindset, and closing thoughts 33:00

I think that we all need to honor that we have vulnerabilities, you know, we're never going to be picture perfect people. That anxiety is really driven by the inner critic. So I think we need to be more open and transparent about how how people really are feeling and I'm not saying I'm not anti medication don't get me wrong, but I think a lot of people live in a lot of fear and I think anxiety drives a lot of sabotaging. Yes it is the inner critic, but it's also the chemical reaction in the body, you know, when you're negative state. So I think anxiety is something that people really we need to honor. It's okay, it's okay to be scared, you know, but it's a sign that something is important to change.

- And I think one of the things around anxiety and I'm not an expert in this area by no means, but it's a big deal. Yes, we're not talking about it, you know, like we give the stat and then we might, you know, like I love what you've shared with us today because the way you've shared it, the framing around it really has repositioned that exactly what I want people to get out of this summit is to understand that, you know, the medicine, the healing can start with us. It doesn't we don't have to give away that power to have someone and don't get me like, yes, there's coaches, there's amazing people you can bring into your life, But I've heard you say it over and over again in these past 40 minutes, is that it starts like it starts with you choosing and so tell us what you choose, what does Georgia do in a day or in a week when it comes to your very own personal mindset strategies. What do you do - Hypnosis I take I don't do it every day, especially with my kids being sick.

But I absolutely, I mean hypnosis, you know did change my life. For me it just when everything is a bit challenging. That's the one thing I do. Without a doubt. - You advertise yourself or do you have to do you have someone you can I didn't know that. - Yeah. I mean all hypnosis is self hypnosis. You know, nobody can guide you. People can guide you but you have to make that commitment to do it. But I just do things like for example, I was telling this true story the other day when I had just written my I really wanted to write a book about alcohol reduction and every publishing house in the UK rejected me.

And I really believed in it. So I had to self published in a very uncool market. It wasn't cool to self published in those days. But I believed it because I was seeing people. I was you know, I was in the in the front line there with clients. So I wrote this book and I had the books all piled up in my bedroom and when my boyfriend at the time, he was very unhelpful to my self esteem. And my dad said to me um how long are these books going to be here for? You know? And I was instantly when he was going, oh you're unsuccessful Georgia and I just did this hypnosis. And I visualized these books going because I wasn't, I didn't have a shop frontage. I can only sell through amazon in those days.

And it was on amazon. I sent a couple of my books to some journalists who had actually been to see me as clients hoping that they wouldn't like to write about it. And within three months I was in the Times newspaper, I was on Sky News and I, but I imagine I visualized all those books going out the door and I know it, you know, it really, really is such a powerful tool. I didn't imagine how they were going to go. I just imagined that the books would go and I think this is the most important thing is when the chips are down, it just means something better is around the corner.

So hypnosis is such a beautiful tool to get you past that, fearing to get you past that, you know, I would say if you don't know what's around the corner, it just means something better. It's going to come then you ever could have imagined. So you just need to trust, trust is one of the most important things of the whole experience, you know, - And you know that it just feels about such a beautiful way to close out this this interview. What I was visualizing as I was listening to you was that what you've been inspiring us with your wisdom and knowledge is that a lot of people fear what is around the corner because they don't know where we want. We want to get into that, you know, predictable future. But what you've just shared is almost that surrendering that if you surrender what is around the corner, you know, should not be feared, it should be celebrated and and received.

So Georgia, I know there are people watching us right now that are wondering how do I get more of more information? Where is the best place for our audience to connect with you? - Yeah. If you just look at my website which georgiafoster.com Georgia is in the state of America Foster is in the beer as I say dot com. - Amazing. That is amazing. Thank you. I love this chat and it really makes me realize that it's time for many of us to understand that we are not the perpetual products of how we, you know, our behaviors and our belief systems from the past that there are.

And you, you heard it today from Georgia. She gave us examples. She gave us strategies and even from her own life, we saw how she has utilized this information to you know, create this amazing situation her life where she is right now and she's done that for many, many, many clients and I think for some of you watching, she's, you know, this is resonating with you. So Georgia, thank you so much for being here on the virtual medicine of mindset stage and everyone else. We are going to wrap this for today.

Take a big breath, go, take a little break. Get away from your computer, your tablet, your phone just for a moment and then make your way back for our next amazing speaker. See you soon.