Full Transcript Podcast Introduction and Reunion 0:01 Welcome to the Wellness [music] on Tap 0:01 Welcome to the Wellness [music] on Tap podcast with your host, Dr. Debs 0:04 podcast with your host, Dr. Debs 0:04 podcast with your host, Dr. Debs Eastwood. 0:06 Eastwood. 0:06 Eastwood. >> So, I want to take you right back to 0:07 >> So, I want to take you right back to 0:08 >> So, I want to take you right back to where we met initially. 0:10 where we met initially. 0:10 where we met initially. >> Mhm. 0:11 >> Mhm. 0:11 >> Mhm. >> And then even further because I'm sure 0:13 >> And then even further because I'm sure 0:13 >> And then even further because I'm sure your journey to publishing your book 0:15 your journey to publishing your book 0:16 your journey to publishing your book started way before we met as well. 0:17 started way before we met as well. 0:17 started way before we met as well. >> Yes, indeed. 0:19 >> Yes, indeed. 0:19 >> Yes, indeed. >> So, it was a couple of years ago. 0:21 >> So, it was a couple of years ago. 0:21 >> So, it was a couple of years ago. >> It was that we ran into each other at an 0:24 >> It was that we ran into each other at an 0:24 >> It was that we ran into each other at an event. We sat at the same I was a bit 0:25 event. We sat at the same I was a bit 0:25 event. We sat at the same I was a bit late cuz I dropped my daughter off to 0:27 late cuz I dropped my daughter off to 0:27 late cuz I dropped my daughter off to school and then I came to to Peterbr so 0:30 school and then I came to to Peterbr so 0:30 school and then I came to to Peterbr so I there wasn't many spaces in other 0:32 I there wasn't many spaces in other 0:32 I there wasn't many spaces in other tables and you kindly asked me to sit 0:34 tables and you kindly asked me to sit 0:34 tables and you kindly asked me to sit down um at your table and when it was 0:38 down um at your table and when it was 0:38 down um at your table and when it was break time we had a good little nata and 0:41 break time we had a good little nata and 0:41 break time we had a good little nata and we had a lot in common 0:42 we had a lot in common 0:42 we had a lot in common >> and we thought oh I said oh I I remember 0:45 >> and we thought oh I said oh I I remember 0:45 >> and we thought oh I said oh I I remember seeing you at the zoom calls on the 0:47 seeing you at the zoom calls on the 0:47 seeing you at the zoom calls on the little windows 0:48 little windows 0:48 little windows >> yes 0:48 >> yes 0:48 >> yes >> so we had some face familiarity there 0:52 >> so we had some face familiarity there 0:52 >> so we had some face familiarity there >> but you were just so welcome wcoming and 0:54 >> but you were just so welcome wcoming and 0:54 >> but you were just so welcome wcoming and we just got on so well. 0:56 we just got on so well. 0:56 we just got on so well. >> Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, we've kept 0:58 >> Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, we've kept 0:58 >> Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, we've kept in touch ever since, haven't we? And 0:59 in touch ever since, haven't we? And 1:00 in touch ever since, haven't we? And bumped into each other on a couple of 1:01 bumped into each other on a couple of 1:01 bumped into each other on a couple of occasions. 1:02 occasions. 1:02 occasions. >> Yeah, we met again at the professional
Early Career in Education 1:06 >> Yeah, we met again at the professional 1:06 >> Yeah, we met again at the professional speaker school. 1:07 speaker school. 1:07 speaker school. >> Mhm. 1:07 >> Mhm. 1:07 >> Mhm. >> In Kent after that and that's when we 1:10 >> In Kent after that and that's when we 1:10 >> In Kent after that and that's when we really jelled as well. 1:11 really jelled as well. 1:12 really jelled as well. >> Yeah. 1:12 >> Yeah. 1:12 >> Yeah. >> So, 1:13 >> So, 1:13 >> So, >> and I met your son. 1:14 >> and I met your son. 1:14 >> and I met your son. >> Yes, you did indeed. I forgot I took 1:16 >> Yes, you did indeed. I forgot I took 1:16 >> Yes, you did indeed. I forgot I took him. Yeah, I took him to the provincial 1:19 him. Yeah, I took him to the provincial 1:19 him. Yeah, I took him to the provincial speaker school and he was really, really 1:21 speaker school and he was really, really 1:21 speaker school and he was really, really nervous, 1:22 nervous, 1:22 nervous, >> but he actually did it. And Jess's team 1:24 >> but he actually did it. And Jess's team 1:24 >> but he actually did it. And Jess's team were of course amazing. They're great. 1:26 were of course amazing. They're great. 1:26 were of course amazing. They're great. >> They break through and he did really 1:27 >> They break through and he did really 1:27 >> They break through and he did really well. So yeah, we've you've met my son. 1:30 well. So yeah, we've you've met my son. 1:30 well. So yeah, we've you've met my son. That says a lot, doesn't it? 1:31 That says a lot, doesn't it? 1:31 That says a lot, doesn't it? >> I know. And your husband now as well. 1:33 >> I know. And your husband now as well. 1:33 >> I know. And your husband now as well. >> Yes. [laughter] 1:35 >> Yes. [laughter] 1:35 >> Yes. [laughter] >> Yes. Yeah. There's lots of growth in 1:38 >> Yes. Yeah. There's lots of growth in 1:38 >> Yes. Yeah. There's lots of growth in those workshops and training sessions. 1:42 those workshops and training sessions. 1:42 those workshops and training sessions. When a lot of people hear that I've 1:43 When a lot of people hear that I've 1:43 When a lot of people hear that I've traveled all the way from London now to 1:45 traveled all the way from London now to 1:45 traveled all the way from London now to Yorkshire to Peterbr to Kent for all 1:47 Yorkshire to Peterbr to Kent for all 1:47 Yorkshire to Peterbr to Kent for all these intensive courses and things, they 1:49 these intensive courses and things, they 1:49 these intensive courses and things, they think I'm completely bonkers. 1:52 think I'm completely bonkers. 1:52 think I'm completely bonkers. You go all the way there, but you can do 1:53 You go all the way there, but you can do 1:53 You go all the way there, but you can do everything online. But there's something 1:55 everything online. But there's something 1:55 everything online. But there's something special about in person, 1:56 special about in person, 1:56 special about in person, >> isn't there? 1:57 >> isn't there? 1:57 >> isn't there? >> The person's energy, learning from them, 1:59 >> The person's energy, learning from them, 1:59 >> The person's energy, learning from them, speaking to other people who've gone 2:01 speaking to other people who've gone 2:01 speaking to other people who've gone through the same thing 2:02 through the same thing 2:02 through the same thing >> and and the networking. 2:04 >> and and the networking. 2:04 >> and and the networking. >> Yeah. 2:05 >> Yeah. 2:05 >> Yeah. >> Like this. 2:06 >> Like this. 2:06 >> Like this. >> Exactly. We wouldn't be sitted. 2:08 >> Exactly. We wouldn't be sitted. 2:08 >> Exactly. We wouldn't be sitted. >> Yeah. I doubt very much that we would be 2:10 >> Yeah. I doubt very much that we would be 2:10 >> Yeah. I doubt very much that we would be sitting here now had it just been a Zoom 2:12 sitting here now had it just been a Zoom 2:12 sitting here now had it just been a Zoom thing. 2:12 thing. 2:12 thing. >> I agree. 2:13 >> I agree. 2:13 >> I agree. >> You know, cuz Exactly. Because of what 2:15 >> You know, cuz Exactly. Because of what 2:15 >> You know, cuz Exactly. Because of what you said, the energy is so much more 2:17 you said, the energy is so much more 2:17 you said, the energy is so much more different, isn't it? 2:18 different, isn't it? 2:18 different, isn't it? >> Yeah. 2:19 >> Yeah. 2:19 >> Yeah. >> When you're in person. And I remember 2:21 >> When you're in person. And I remember 2:21 >> When you're in person. And I remember the very first time I went um 2021, 2:24 the very first time I went um 2021, 2:24 the very first time I went um 2021, July 2021, I was working full-time at a 2:26 July 2021, I was working full-time at a 2:26 July 2021, I was working full-time at a secondary school in East London. And I 2:28 secondary school in East London. And I 2:28 secondary school in East London. And I had been looking for um that role was 2:32 had been looking for um that role was 2:32 had been looking for um that role was actually temporary. So I wanted a 2:33 actually temporary. So I wanted a 2:33 actually temporary. So I wanted a permanent role cuz over the years I've 2:35 permanent role cuz over the years I've 2:35 permanent role cuz over the years I've been in education sector for over 20 2:36 been in education sector for over 20 2:36 been in education sector for over 20 years. And all of my roles were 2:39 years. And all of my roles were 2:39 years. And all of my roles were permanent. And this was the one when co 2:41 permanent. And this was the one when co 2:41 permanent. And this was the one when co they started to do less um contracts of 2:44 they started to do less um contracts of 2:44 they started to do less um contracts of permanent and more temporary roles. So 2:46 permanent and more temporary roles. So 2:46 permanent and more temporary roles. So they can just remove people as when they 2:47 they can just remove people as when they 2:48 they can just remove people as when they need it or whatever the reason was. And 2:50 need it or whatever the reason was. And 2:50 need it or whatever the reason was. And so I've been looking for jobs and I was 2:53 so I've been looking for jobs and I was 2:53 so I've been looking for jobs and I was working as behavior assistant at that 2:54 working as behavior assistant at that 2:54 working as behavior assistant at that time and I just wanted to pass to a 2:56 time and I just wanted to pass to a 2:56 time and I just wanted to pass to a manager role but I'd just been applying 2:58 manager role but I'd just been applying 2:58 manager role but I'd just been applying for several jobs and I didn't understand 2:59 for several jobs and I didn't understand 2:59 for several jobs and I didn't understand I usually go for interviews when I was 3:01 I usually go for interviews when I was 3:01 I usually go for interviews when I was do my early years educator roles I go 3:04 do my early years educator roles I go 3:04 do my early years educator roles I go for the first interview and I just get 3:06 for the first interview and I just get 3:06 for the first interview and I just get appointed but on this occasion that 3:08 appointed but on this occasion that 3:08 appointed but on this occasion that summer that entire 2021 I just kept 3:11 summer that entire 2021 I just kept 3:11 summer that entire 2021 I just kept getting interviews after interviews and 3:13 getting interviews after interviews and 3:13 getting interviews after interviews and but I just wasn't appointed I just 3:14 but I just wasn't appointed I just 3:14 but I just wasn't appointed I just couldn't understand and I started 3:17 couldn't understand and I started 3:17 couldn't understand and I started watching a TV program and I came across 3:19 watching a TV program and I came across 3:19 watching a TV program and I came across our mentor and I thought oh I might go 3:22 our mentor and I thought oh I might go 3:22 our mentor and I thought oh I might go along and find out more about this 3:24 along and find out more about this 3:24 along and find out more about this course 3:25 course 3:25 course >> and that's how I went ended up being in 3:28 >> and that's how I went ended up being in 3:28 >> and that's how I went ended up being in that course and then I met you a year 3:29 that course and then I met you a year 3:29 that course and then I met you a year later but at that time [clears throat] 3:33 later but at that time [clears throat] 3:33 later but at that time [clears throat] >> it was so intense to a few days and I 3:35 >> it was so intense to a few days and I 3:35 >> it was so intense to a few days and I was driving back and forth back and 3:36 was driving back and forth back and 3:36 was driving back and forth back and forth and for me even the driving had 3:39 forth and for me even the driving had 3:39 forth and for me even the driving had the the growth in it because in co we 3:41 the the growth in it because in co we 3:41 the the growth in it because in co we weren't really driving or going very far 3:43 weren't really driving or going very far 3:43 weren't really driving or going very far and so I lost a bit of confidence in in 3:45 and so I lost a bit of confidence in in 3:45 and so I lost a bit of confidence in in driving although I've been driving for 3:46 driving although I've been driving for 3:46 driving although I've been driving for years so I remember when I met some 3:49 years so I remember when I met some 3:49 years so I remember when I met some people and they're like, "Oh my god, you 3:50 people and they're like, "Oh my god, you 3:50 people and they're like, "Oh my god, you drive it all the way here and then you 3:51 drive it all the way here and then you 3:51 drive it all the way here and then you drive back home." I'm like, "Yeah, but 3:53 drive back home." I'm like, "Yeah, but 3:53 drive back home." I'm like, "Yeah, but it's okay because I enjoy the I enjoy 3:55 it's okay because I enjoy the I enjoy 3:55 it's okay because I enjoy the I enjoy that time on my own." And I've been 3:57 that time on my own." And I've been 3:57 that time on my own." And I've been practicing. I was doing my homework in 3:59 practicing. I was doing my homework in 3:59 practicing. I was doing my homework in the car and I do the affirmations and 4:01 the car and I do the affirmations and 4:01 the car and I do the affirmations and affirmations all new to me. So that 4:04 affirmations all new to me. So that 4:04 affirmations all new to me. So that course, the business course back in 4:06 course, the business course back in 4:06 course, the business course back in Pitchburg was one of the biggest 4:09 Pitchburg was one of the biggest 4:09 Pitchburg was one of the biggest growth spaces I'd been to and walking 4:12 growth spaces I'd been to and walking 4:12 growth spaces I'd been to and walking into being a woman of color, being a 4:14 into being a woman of color, being a 4:14 into being a woman of color, being a Muslim, being a hijab, being the only 4:16 Muslim, being a hijab, being the only 4:16 Muslim, being a hijab, being the only person in a room full of people who do 4:18 person in a room full of people who do 4:18 person in a room full of people who do don't look anything like me, that just 4:19 don't look anything like me, that just 4:20 don't look anything like me, that just gave me so much confidence and power and 4:22 gave me so much confidence and power and 4:22 gave me so much confidence and power and and like empowerment really. And I felt 4:25 and like empowerment really. And I felt 4:25 and like empowerment really. And I felt liberated in the space that yeah, 4:27 liberated in the space that yeah, 4:27 liberated in the space that yeah, there's there is so much out there. 4:28 there's there is so much out there. 4:28 there's there is so much out there. There's so much more. I don't have to be 4:29 There's so much more. I don't have to be 4:30 There's so much more. I don't have to be employed. I can do more. and seeing some 4:33 employed. I can do more. and seeing some 4:34 employed. I can do more. and seeing some of the we'll go into this in a little 4:35 of the we'll go into this in a little 4:35 of the we'll go into this in a little while, but the engagement and the 4:36 while, but the engagement and the 4:36 while, but the engagement and the interaction that people were having, I'm 4:38 interaction that people were having, I'm 4:38 interaction that people were having, I'm like a new world had opened up to me 4:39 like a new world had opened up to me 4:39 like a new world had opened up to me from being employed to being going into 4:42 from being employed to being going into 4:42 from being employed to being going into entrepreneurship. But seeing cuz at that 4:44 entrepreneurship. But seeing cuz at that 4:44 entrepreneurship. But seeing cuz at that point I hadn't had a business, but I 4:46 point I hadn't had a business, but I 4:46 point I hadn't had a business, but I just wanted to know what it felt like to 4:48 just wanted to know what it felt like to 4:48 just wanted to know what it felt like to be in the room. There was millionaires 4:49 be in the room. There was millionaires 4:49 be in the room. There was millionaires in the room. 4:49 in the room. 4:50 in the room. >> Yes. 4:50 >> Yes. 4:50 >> Yes. >> And I'd never been I'd never been in 4:51 >> And I'd never been I'd never been in 4:51 >> And I'd never been I'd never been in that kind of space before. So 4:55 that kind of space before. So 4:55 that kind of space before. So that was an really eye opening 4:56 that was an really eye opening 4:56 that was an really eye opening experience and it gave me so much 4:58 experience and it gave me so much 4:58 experience and it gave me so much confidence from the moment I started 4:59 confidence from the moment I started 4:59 confidence from the moment I started driving. Yeah, that is wonderful cuz I 5:03 driving. Yeah, that is wonderful cuz I 5:03 driving. Yeah, that is wonderful cuz I hadn't thought about the bit outside of 5:05 hadn't thought about the bit outside of 5:05 hadn't thought about the bit outside of the actual course itself and the value 5:08 the actual course itself and the value 5:08 the actual course itself and the value of that. 5:08 of that. 5:08 of that. >> Yeah. 5:09 >> Yeah. 5:10 >> Yeah. >> I have to reappraise 5:12 >> I have to reappraise 5:12 >> I have to reappraise when that happens for me. 5:14 when that happens for me. 5:14 when that happens for me. >> Yeah. 5:14 >> Yeah. 5:14 >> Yeah. >> And appreciate that as well. I tend to 5:17 >> And appreciate that as well. I tend to 5:17 >> And appreciate that as well. I tend to look out of the car if I'm driving 5:18 look out of the car if I'm driving 5:18 look out of the car if I'm driving places now and and like gratitude for 5:21 places now and and like gratitude for 5:21 places now and and like gratitude for the weather. 5:22 the weather. 5:22 the weather. >> Yes. 5:22 >> Yes. 5:22 >> Yes. >> You know, and if somebody lets me in in 5:24 >> You know, and if somebody lets me in in 5:24 >> You know, and if somebody lets me in in a queue or whatever, grateful. But try 5:26 a queue or whatever, grateful. But try 5:26 a queue or whatever, grateful. But try to be more grateful for more things. M 5:29 to be more grateful for more things. M 5:29 to be more grateful for more things. M 100% the everyday things. 5:32 100% the everyday things. 5:32 100% the everyday things. >> Yeah. 5:32 >> Yeah. 5:32 >> Yeah. >> The everyday gratitude of I got here 5:35 >> The everyday gratitude of I got here 5:35 >> The everyday gratitude of I got here safe, you know, thank God I'm here. 5:37 safe, you know, thank God I'm here. 5:37 safe, you know, thank God I'm here. >> Precisely. 5:37 >> Precisely. 5:37 >> Precisely. >> Thank god the car's working. I've been 5:38 >> Thank god the car's working. I've been 5:38 >> Thank god the car's working. I've been to spaces when halfway through the 5:40 to spaces when halfway through the 5:40 to spaces when halfway through the motorway, my car's broken down. 5:43 motorway, my car's broken down. 5:43 motorway, my car's broken down. >> So like I've got here safe. And that's 5:44 >> So like I've got here safe. And that's 5:44 >> So like I've got here safe. And that's one of the things that we don't take we 5:45 one of the things that we don't take we 5:46 one of the things that we don't take we take for granted. Getting to places 5:48 take for granted. Getting to places 5:48 take for granted. Getting to places safely back and forth. Whether you're in 5:49 safely back and forth. Whether you're in 5:49 safely back and forth. Whether you're in the same country, whether you're on a 5:51 the same country, whether you're on a 5:51 the same country, whether you're on a plane, that's really important to it's 5:53 plane, that's really important to it's 5:53 plane, that's really important to it's such a biggest blessing we forget. 5:55 such a biggest blessing we forget. 5:55 such a biggest blessing we forget. >> Yeah. 5:55 >> Yeah. 5:55 >> Yeah. >> Getting to places on time and 5:57 >> Getting to places on time and 5:57 >> Getting to places on time and >> Yeah. [laughter] 5:58 >> Yeah. [laughter] 5:58 >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Yes. You are not wrong. 6:00 >> Yes. You are not wrong. 6:00 >> Yes. You are not wrong. >> We do. I've had a few travel hiccups 6:02 >> We do. I've had a few travel hiccups 6:02 >> We do. I've had a few travel hiccups lately, 6:03 lately, 6:03 lately, >> but you know, got to my destination 6:05 >> but you know, got to my destination 6:05 >> but you know, got to my destination safely in the end or by it 6:08 safely in the end or by it 6:08 safely in the end or by it >> perhaps a few hours later than what I 6:09 >> perhaps a few hours later than what I 6:10 >> perhaps a few hours later than what I was intending, but getting there safely. 6:12 was intending, but getting there safely. 6:12 was intending, but getting there safely. >> Absolutely. You know, and that's what 6:14 >> Absolutely. You know, and that's what 6:14 >> Absolutely. You know, and that's what it's all about. So, you've just said 6:16 it's all about. So, you've just said 6:16 it's all about. So, you've just said you've been in education more than 20 6:18 you've been in education more than 20 6:18 you've been in education more than 20 years. 6:18 years. 6:18 years. >> I have. 6:19 >> I have. 6:19 >> I have. >> So, may I inquire as to your story as to 6:23 >> So, may I inquire as to your story as to 6:23 >> So, may I inquire as to your story as to how all that began? 6:25 how all that began? 6:26 how all that began? It was the [sighs] 6:28 It was the [sighs] 6:28 It was the [sighs] summer of 6:30 summer of 6:30 summer of 1992, 6:32 1992, 6:32 1992, I think, when I was 6:34 I think, when I was 6:34 I think, when I was Yeah, I believe it was 92. Um, I was 6:37 Yeah, I believe it was 92. Um, I was 6:37 Yeah, I believe it was 92. Um, I was choosing which college to go to, 6:38 choosing which college to go to, 6:38 choosing which college to go to, university, college, something like 6:40 university, college, something like 6:40 university, college, something like that. And I remember speaking to my dad 6:42 that. And I remember speaking to my dad 6:42 that. And I remember speaking to my dad and I said, I want to do NEB. It was 6:44 and I said, I want to do NEB. It was 6:44 and I said, I want to do NEB. It was called National Nursery Education Board. 6:46 called National Nursery Education Board. 6:46 called National Nursery Education Board. And my dad said to me, "Yeah, that's a 6:47 And my dad said to me, "Yeah, that's a 6:47 And my dad said to me, "Yeah, that's a good course. And you could go to become 6:48 good course. And you could go to become 6:48 good course. And you could go to become a nursery nurse and you'll be like 6:51 a nursery nurse and you'll be like 6:51 a nursery nurse and you'll be like Princess Diana." Princess Diana was a 6:53 Princess Diana." Princess Diana was a 6:53 Princess Diana." Princess Diana was a nursery nurse. 6:54 nursery nurse. 6:54 nursery nurse. and they still stuck with me. 6:56 and they still stuck with me. 6:56 and they still stuck with me. >> Yes. 6:57 >> Yes. 6:57 >> Yes. >> And um so I did the course, diploma 7:00 >> And um so I did the course, diploma 7:00 >> And um so I did the course, diploma course all into education and I want 7:01 course all into education and I want 7:01 course all into education and I want just wanted to be with young children. I 7:03 just wanted to be with young children. I 7:03 just wanted to be with young children. I was youngest of four so I loved being 7:05 was youngest of four so I loved being 7:05 was youngest of four so I loved being around young children. So that's all I 7:07 around young children. So that's all I 7:07 around young children. So that's all I wanted to do was go into education and 7:08 wanted to do was go into education and 7:08 wanted to do was go into education and teach young children and be in early 7:11 teach young children and be in early 7:11 teach young children and be in early years. Finished the course completely 7:13 years. Finished the course completely 7:13 years. Finished the course completely loved it and I was offered a place to 7:16 loved it and I was offered a place to 7:16 loved it and I was offered a place to work at one of my placements. It was a 7:19 work at one of my placements. It was a 7:19 work at one of my placements. It was a children's center. Worked there for a 7:21 children's center. Worked there for a 7:21 children's center. Worked there for a few years. I then decided that I wanted 7:22 few years. I then decided that I wanted 7:22 few years. I then decided that I wanted to go into schools that I really wanted 7:24 to go into schools that I really wanted 7:24 to go into schools that I really wanted to be in schools and I found within I'd 7:28 to be in schools and I found within I'd 7:28 to be in schools and I found within I'd been working there for about 4 years 7:29 been working there for about 4 years 7:29 been working there for about 4 years nearly 5 years and the first application 7:31 nearly 5 years and the first application 7:32 nearly 5 years and the first application form I made was in another in primary 7:34 form I made was in another in primary 7:34 form I made was in another in primary school and I remember being interviewed 7:36 school and I remember being interviewed 7:36 school and I remember being interviewed and I think I got two or three 7:37 and I think I got two or three 7:37 and I think I got two or three interviews at that point and out of them 7:39 interviews at that point and out of them 7:39 interviews at that point and out of them I was interviewed was appointed straight 7:41 I was interviewed was appointed straight 7:41 I was interviewed was appointed straight away. I was so so happy at that school. 7:43 away. I was so so happy at that school. 7:43 away. I was so so happy at that school. Met some amazing colleagues who I'm 7:45 Met some amazing colleagues who I'm 7:45 Met some amazing colleagues who I'm still in touch with. Worked there for 5 7:47 still in touch with. Worked there for 5 7:47 still in touch with. Worked there for 5 years and then I decided I wanted to go 7:49 years and then I decided I wanted to go 7:49 years and then I decided I wanted to go to another school. So I went to another 7:51 to another school. So I went to another 7:51 to another school. So I went to another school and back and forth. I did that 7:53 school and back and forth. I did that 7:53 school and back and forth. I did that for quite a few schools. All all in all 7:55 for quite a few schools. All all in all 7:55 for quite a few schools. All all in all probably about six years I worked in um 7:57 probably about six years I worked in um 7:57 probably about six years I worked in um primary schools as early as as early as 8:00 primary schools as early as as early as 8:00 primary schools as early as as early as educator. After that I'd realized when 8:03 educator. After that I'd realized when 8:03 educator. After that I'd realized when the parents were coming to me and by 8:05 the parents were coming to me and by 8:05 the parents were coming to me and by that time I had become a parent is they 8:07 that time I had become a parent is they 8:07 that time I had become a parent is they were asking for parenting advice for 8:09 were asking for parenting advice for 8:09 were asking for parenting advice for when we used to run the parents evenings 8:12 when we used to run the parents evenings 8:12 when we used to run the parents evenings sessions and a lot of the parents were 8:15 sessions and a lot of the parents were 8:15 sessions and a lot of the parents were speaking to me about how do I do this 8:16 speaking to me about how do I do this 8:16 speaking to me about how do I do this how do I and I I realized I was really 8:17 how do I and I I realized I was really 8:17 how do I and I I realized I was really good at that and my head teacher was 8:19 good at that and my head teacher was 8:19 good at that and my head teacher was like I noticed you have a really rapport 8:21 like I noticed you have a really rapport 8:21 like I noticed you have a really rapport with parents. So I looked into doing a 8:24 with parents. So I looked into doing a 8:24 with parents. So I looked into doing a course based on advising parents as a 8:27 course based on advising parents as a 8:27 course based on advising parents as a family support adviser and I looked into 8:29 family support adviser and I looked into 8:29 family support adviser and I looked into so many roles just prior for the course
Finding Purpose Through Parenting Support 8:31 so many roles just prior for the course 8:31 so many roles just prior for the course and I wasn't really getting the 8:33 and I wasn't really getting the 8:33 and I wasn't really getting the interviews for that. So I thought okay 8:34 interviews for that. So I thought okay 8:34 interviews for that. So I thought okay maybe if I just do a course around it 8:36 maybe if I just do a course around it 8:36 maybe if I just do a course around it I'll I'll maybe get into it I'll have 8:38 I'll I'll maybe get into it I'll have 8:38 I'll I'll maybe get into it I'll have higher chances. So I looked into it and 8:41 higher chances. So I looked into it and 8:41 higher chances. So I looked into it and I 8:43 I 8:43 I did do the course complete the course. 8:44 did do the course complete the course. 8:44 did do the course complete the course. It took me longer than I expected 8:45 It took me longer than I expected 8:45 It took me longer than I expected because there was issues with the 8:46 because there was issues with the 8:46 because there was issues with the assessor. So it was a year course but I 8:49 assessor. So it was a year course but I 8:49 assessor. So it was a year course but I did I was so determined to complete it 8:51 did I was so determined to complete it 8:51 did I was so determined to complete it because I just wanted that you know 8:53 because I just wanted that you know 8:53 because I just wanted that you know certificate to get me into the role I 8:54 certificate to get me into the role I 8:54 certificate to get me into the role I really wanted to do as family support 8:56 really wanted to do as family support 8:56 really wanted to do as family support advisor. Eventually after 2 years 8:59 advisor. Eventually after 2 years 8:59 advisor. Eventually after 2 years certificate came through then I started 9:00 certificate came through then I started 9:00 certificate came through then I started making applications 9:02 making applications 9:02 making applications >> and I fell in love with the role itself 9:05 >> and I fell in love with the role itself 9:05 >> and I fell in love with the role itself cuz I was no longer in the classrooms 9:06 cuz I was no longer in the classrooms 9:06 cuz I was no longer in the classrooms then and I was in office by that time. 9:09 then and I was in office by that time. 9:09 then and I was in office by that time. The first time the deputy had showed me 9:11 The first time the deputy had showed me 9:11 The first time the deputy had showed me to my office, I had a river view was in 9:13 to my office, I had a river view was in 9:14 to my office, I had a river view was in duckland with the river. I love rivers 9:15 duckland with the river. I love rivers 9:15 duckland with the river. I love rivers and I thought, "Wow, this is such a 9:17 and I thought, "Wow, this is such a 9:17 and I thought, "Wow, this is such a blessing. How did I get so lucky?" 9:19 blessing. How did I get so lucky?" 9:19 blessing. How did I get so lucky?" >> How lucky to be able to overlook over a 9:22 >> How lucky to be able to overlook over a 9:22 >> How lucky to be able to overlook over a river. So worked there and I was there 9:26 river. So worked there and I was there 9:26 river. So worked there and I was there about a year and nobody could tell that 9:28 about a year and nobody could tell that 9:28 about a year and nobody could tell that I wasn't doing this role before as a 9:31 I wasn't doing this role before as a 9:31 I wasn't doing this role before as a family sport advisor. I was a nursery 9:32 family sport advisor. I was a nursery 9:32 family sport advisor. I was a nursery nurse prior to that early years educator 9:34 nurse prior to that early years educator 9:34 nurse prior to that early years educator now and nobody could tell that was my 9:36 now and nobody could tell that was my 9:36 now and nobody could tell that was my first role. I was so into it. I loved 9:38 first role. I was so into it. I loved 9:38 first role. I was so into it. I loved it. or their parents would come in would 9:39 it. or their parents would come in would 9:39 it. or their parents would come in would do all kinds of forms for them. And one 9:41 do all kinds of forms for them. And one 9:42 do all kinds of forms for them. And one of the things that really surprised me 9:43 of the things that really surprised me 9:43 of the things that really surprised me as part of the role was her teacher came 9:44 as part of the role was her teacher came 9:44 as part of the role was her teacher came to me and he said, "I'd like you to do 9:45 to me and he said, "I'd like you to do 9:45 to me and he said, "I'd like you to do some trips for our parents cuz we've 9:47 some trips for our parents cuz we've 9:47 some trips for our parents cuz we've noticed some some of my parents are just 9:49 noticed some some of my parents are just 9:49 noticed some some of my parents are just not very confident. So, I'd like you to 9:50 not very confident. So, I'd like you to 9:50 not very confident. So, I'd like you to lead some trips." And one of the trips 9:52 lead some trips." And one of the trips 9:52 lead some trips." And one of the trips was you'd never guess where we took 9:54 was you'd never guess where we took 9:54 was you'd never guess where we took their parents to. 9:56 their parents to. 9:56 their parents to. [laughter] 9:57 [laughter] 9:57 [laughter] >> Go on, tell me. 9:58 >> Go on, tell me. 9:58 >> Go on, tell me. >> IKEA. Greenwich. IKEA. 10:00 >> IKEA. Greenwich. IKEA. 10:00 >> IKEA. Greenwich. IKEA. >> Never. No. I You're right. I wouldn't 10:02 >> Never. No. I You're right. I wouldn't 10:02 >> Never. No. I You're right. I wouldn't have guessed that. 10:03 have guessed that. 10:03 have guessed that. >> It was a new IKEA. It opened up great. 10:05 >> It was a new IKEA. It opened up great. 10:05 >> It was a new IKEA. It opened up great. We've got one street now. 10:07 We've got one street now. 10:07 We've got one street now. >> M. So, and I was like, "Wow, how did I 10:09 >> M. So, and I was like, "Wow, how did I 10:10 >> M. So, and I was like, "Wow, how did I get so lucky that I get to go to IKEA 10:12 get so lucky that I get to go to IKEA 10:12 get so lucky that I get to go to IKEA and get paid for it?" [laughter] 10:13 and get paid for it?" [laughter] 10:13 and get paid for it?" [laughter] And I would do once a week I do walk, 10:16 And I would do once a week I do walk, 10:16 And I would do once a week I do walk, nature walks with them cuz we were right 10:17 nature walks with them cuz we were right 10:17 nature walks with them cuz we were right close to the river as well. So, we would 10:19 close to the river as well. So, we would 10:19 close to the river as well. So, we would do river walks with the parents once a 10:20 do river walks with the parents once a 10:20 do river walks with the parents once a week. I do that and I would run 10:22 week. I do that and I would run 10:22 week. I do that and I would run workshops there. And that's where my 10:24 workshops there. And that's where my 10:24 workshops there. And that's where my love of workshops started, 10:26 love of workshops started, 10:26 love of workshops started, >> right? 10:26 >> right? 10:26 >> right? >> And I was like, gosh, this is amazing 10:29 >> And I was like, gosh, this is amazing 10:29 >> And I was like, gosh, this is amazing having parents in coming in. And I 10:31 having parents in coming in. And I 10:31 having parents in coming in. And I remember one of the first workshops I 10:33 remember one of the first workshops I 10:33 remember one of the first workshops I did with this with that particular 10:35 did with this with that particular 10:35 did with this with that particular school, we only had about two or three 10:37 school, we only had about two or three 10:37 school, we only had about two or three parents coming in. It was preparing for 10:39 parents coming in. It was preparing for 10:39 parents coming in. It was preparing for parents um getting this kids into go 10:42 parents um getting this kids into go 10:42 parents um getting this kids into go secondary school. How to prepare the 10:44 secondary school. How to prepare the 10:44 secondary school. How to prepare the children, what to expect and things 10:45 children, what to expect and things 10:46 children, what to expect and things like. I prepared all the workshop. I 10:47 like. I prepared all the workshop. I 10:47 like. I prepared all the workshop. I prepared the slides. I invited guests 10:49 prepared the slides. I invited guests 10:49 prepared the slides. I invited guests and unfortunately there were some issues 10:51 and unfortunately there were some issues 10:51 and unfortunately there were some issues around marketing and promoting it 10:53 around marketing and promoting it 10:54 around marketing and promoting it >> and only two or three people came. Mhm. 10:56 >> and only two or three people came. Mhm. 10:56 >> and only two or three people came. Mhm. >> It was so disheartening 10:58 >> It was so disheartening 10:58 >> It was so disheartening >> and you put all that effort in. 10:59 >> and you put all that effort in. 10:59 >> and you put all that effort in. >> So much effort into any kind of 11:00 >> So much effort into any kind of 11:00 >> So much effort into any kind of workshops, isn't it really? Um 11:03 workshops, isn't it really? Um 11:03 workshops, isn't it really? Um >> and that still sometimes 11:06 >> and that still sometimes 11:06 >> and that still sometimes creeps back on me and I have to remind 11:08 creeps back on me and I have to remind 11:08 creeps back on me and I have to remind myself that was then I've learned so 11:10 myself that was then I've learned so 11:10 myself that was then I've learned so much from it and had to rewire myself 11:13 much from it and had to rewire myself 11:13 much from it and had to rewire myself all of the time and yeah so that was 11:15 all of the time and yeah so that was 11:15 all of the time and yeah so that was then and then co hit I left that role as 11:20 then and then co hit I left that role as 11:20 then and then co hit I left that role as a family support adviser. 11:22 a family support adviser. 11:22 a family support adviser. I resigned and I thought I'm so 11:23 I resigned and I thought I'm so 11:24 I resigned and I thought I'm so experienced. I'm qualified. I've been in 11:25 experienced. I'm qualified. I've been in 11:25 experienced. I'm qualified. I've been in the education sector. I'll get 11:26 the education sector. I'll get 11:26 the education sector. I'll get something. 11:28 something. 11:28 something. Well, co hit and everybody was furow and 11:32 Well, co hit and everybody was furow and 11:32 Well, co hit and everybody was furow and there's many difficulties and I just I 11:34 there's many difficulties and I just I 11:34 there's many difficulties and I just I couldn't get a role. So, I kept looking 11:36 couldn't get a role. So, I kept looking 11:36 couldn't get a role. So, I kept looking at different kind of jobs and I just I 11:38 at different kind of jobs and I just I 11:38 at different kind of jobs and I just I just was struggling because everybody 11:40 just was struggling because everybody 11:40 just was struggling because everybody was looking for jobs and I even applied 11:42 was looking for jobs and I even applied 11:42 was looking for jobs and I even applied for something I never would have thought 11:44 for something I never would have thought 11:44 for something I never would have thought I'd apply for cuz I really wanted to 11:45 I'd apply for cuz I really wanted to 11:45 I'd apply for cuz I really wanted to help. I just wanted to help. Um as we 11:48 help. I just wanted to help. Um as we 11:48 help. I just wanted to help. Um as we know the people who take the call 11:50 know the people who take the call 11:50 know the people who take the call handlers of the ambulance. Yes. 11:52 handlers of the ambulance. Yes. 11:52 handlers of the ambulance. Yes. >> They even give me an interview. 11:53 >> They even give me an interview. 11:53 >> They even give me an interview. >> Oh, [snorts and laughter] 11:55 >> Oh, [snorts and laughter] 11:55 >> Oh, [snorts and laughter] >> I was like, I'd be really good at that. 11:56 >> I was like, I'd be really good at that. 11:56 >> I was like, I'd be really good at that. I just take the calls and listen to what 11:57 I just take the calls and listen to what 11:58 I just take the calls and listen to what they need and then pass them on to the 11:59 they need and then pass them on to the 11:59 they need and then pass them on to the next person. 12:00 next person. 12:00 next person. >> But again, I was really disappointed 12:01 >> But again, I was really disappointed 12:01 >> But again, I was really disappointed because I knew someone who who had that 12:03 because I knew someone who who had that 12:03 because I knew someone who who had that role and they said to me, it's it's good 12:04 role and they said to me, it's it's good 12:04 role and they said to me, it's it's good to stay at home remote role or you can 12:06 to stay at home remote role or you can 12:06 to stay at home remote role or you can go into office and it's quite safe and I 12:09 go into office and it's quite safe and I 12:09 go into office and it's quite safe and I just wanted to help to be honest. I 12:10 just wanted to help to be honest. I 12:10 just wanted to help to be honest. I wanted to help to do something within 12:12 wanted to help to do something within 12:12 wanted to help to do something within the within the co cuz I'd spent six 12:15 the within the co cuz I'd spent six 12:15 the within the co cuz I'd spent six seven months at home by that time. It 12:16 seven months at home by that time. It 12:16 seven months at home by that time. It was a lovely period to be honest. We had 12:18 was a lovely period to be honest. We had 12:18 was a lovely period to be honest. We had other than feeling a bit anxious about 12:20 other than feeling a bit anxious about 12:20 other than feeling a bit anxious about the numbers of deaths and things like 12:22 the numbers of deaths and things like 12:22 the numbers of deaths and things like that. It was a very very beautiful time 12:24 that. It was a very very beautiful time 12:24 that. It was a very very beautiful time for me and as a family of bonding 12:27 for me and as a family of bonding 12:27 for me and as a family of bonding together and reflecting cuz all the 12:30 together and reflecting cuz all the 12:30 together and reflecting cuz all the noise around us stopped. 12:32 noise around us stopped. 12:32 noise around us stopped. >> It was like everything cuz I was usually 12:35 >> It was like everything cuz I was usually 12:35 >> It was like everything cuz I was usually so busy with work, home life, family 12:37 so busy with work, home life, family 12:37 so busy with work, home life, family life, my family near me. So I was always 12:40 life, my family near me. So I was always 12:40 life, my family near me. So I was always constantly busy. So all of a sudden when 12:42 constantly busy. So all of a sudden when 12:42 constantly busy. So all of a sudden when I wasn't seeing anyone, it was just the 12:44 I wasn't seeing anyone, it was just the 12:44 I wasn't seeing anyone, it was just the four of us. And it was such a beautiful 12:46 four of us. And it was such a beautiful 12:46 four of us. And it was such a beautiful period that I reflected. I started 12:48 period that I reflected. I started 12:48 period that I reflected. I started reading again. 12:49 reading again. 12:50 reading again. >> Yeah. I picked up Nadi Hussein's book 12:52 >> Yeah. I picked up Nadi Hussein's book 12:52 >> Yeah. I picked up Nadi Hussein's book and that gave me 12:55 and that gave me 12:55 and that gave me lots of lots of things to reflect about 12:57 lots of lots of things to reflect about 12:57 lots of lots of things to reflect about in the sense that I realized I had there 12:59 in the sense that I realized I had there 12:59 in the sense that I realized I had there was a lot of things I didn't process 13:01 was a lot of things I didn't process 13:02 was a lot of things I didn't process >> and I realized there was some 13:03 >> and I realized there was some 13:03 >> and I realized there was some similarities that we had and some of the 13:05 similarities that we had and some of the 13:05 similarities that we had and some of the situation that she had been to been 13:06 situation that she had been to been 13:06 situation that she had been to been through and I'd been through and I just 13:09 through and I'd been through and I just 13:09 through and I'd been through and I just lots of because she's South Asian myself 13:11 lots of because she's South Asian myself 13:11 lots of because she's South Asian myself and South Asian. it had a lot in common 13:13 and South Asian. it had a lot in common 13:13 and South Asian. it had a lot in common and she made me realize like you can be 13:16 and she made me realize like you can be 13:16 and she made me realize like you can be really successful and have some 13:18 really successful and have some 13:18 really successful and have some emotional baggage and it's okay and that 13:22 emotional baggage and it's okay and that 13:22 emotional baggage and it's okay and that was one of the things that started my 13:24 was one of the things that started my 13:24 was one of the things that started my healing journey and then I read another 13:26 healing journey and then I read another 13:26 healing journey and then I read another book because I really had a moment and 13:28 book because I really had a moment and 13:28 book because I really had a moment and that book helped me the person I was 13:30 that book helped me the person I was 13:30 that book helped me the person I was reading about in that book helped me 13:32 reading about in that book helped me 13:32 reading about in that book helped me realize you can go through so many 13:35 realize you can go through so many 13:35 realize you can go through so many difficulties so many grief so many 13:36 difficulties so many grief so many 13:36 difficulties so many grief so many challenges you can have so much hatred 13:38 challenges you can have so much hatred 13:38 challenges you can have so much hatred on you and yet you can really shine you 13:41 on you and yet you can really shine you 13:41 on you and yet you can really shine you can smile smile and I kept reading it 13:43 can smile smile and I kept reading it 13:44 can smile smile and I kept reading it and I kept reading it and I kept asking 13:45 and I kept reading it and I kept asking 13:45 and I kept reading it and I kept asking question and I watched videos around it 13:47 question and I watched videos around it 13:47 question and I watched videos around it and I thought this person is absolutely 13:48 and I thought this person is absolutely 13:48 and I thought this person is absolutely incredible. I want to do more to be like 13:50 incredible. I want to do more to be like 13:50 incredible. I want to do more to be like this person and this person was the 13:53 this person and this person was the 13:53 this person and this person was the prophet Muhammad [laughter] 13:55 prophet Muhammad [laughter] 13:55 prophet Muhammad [laughter] peace be upon him. I read his I read his 13:57 peace be upon him. I read his I read his 13:57 peace be upon him. I read his I read his book and I read about his life and it 13:59 book and I read about his life and it 13:59 book and I read about his life and it really really helped me put a lot into 14:01 really really helped me put a lot into 14:02 really really helped me put a lot into perspective and that's when my 14:05 perspective and that's when my 14:05 perspective and that's when my >> healing journey really kind and that 14:06 >> healing journey really kind and that 14:06 >> healing journey really kind and that that healed me cuz before prior to that 14:09 that healed me cuz before prior to that 14:09 that healed me cuz before prior to that I had been into um therapy for many 14:12 I had been into um therapy for many 14:12 I had been into um therapy for many different things cuz I had really low 14:14 different things cuz I had really low 14:14 different things cuz I had really low self-esteem and I just felt something 14:17 self-esteem and I just felt something 14:17 self-esteem and I just felt something just wasn't right and I just wanted to 14:18 just wasn't right and I just wanted to 14:18 just wasn't right and I just wanted to go into get some support 14:21 go into get some support 14:21 go into get some support >> but when I went into counseling I 14:23 >> but when I went into counseling I 14:23 >> but when I went into counseling I couldn't open up. No, it's not for 14:25 couldn't open up. No, it's not for 14:25 couldn't open up. No, it's not for everybody, is it? 14:25 everybody, is it? 14:26 everybody, is it? >> It's not. 14:27 >> It's not. 14:27 >> It's not. >> And after a few sessions, I just gave up 14:28 >> And after a few sessions, I just gave up 14:28 >> And after a few sessions, I just gave up and I thought, it's not working cuz I 14:30 and I thought, it's not working cuz I 14:30 and I thought, it's not working cuz I was working at part time at the time. 14:32 was working at part time at the time. 14:32 was working at part time at the time. And um Monday, Tuesday working. And 14:35 And um Monday, Tuesday working. And 14:35 And um Monday, Tuesday working. And Friday would be my morning. I'd go into 14:37 Friday would be my morning. I'd go into 14:37 Friday would be my morning. I'd go into East London up into North London to see 14:40 East London up into North London to see 14:40 East London up into North London to see a therapist who was recommended. And 14:42 a therapist who was recommended. And 14:42 a therapist who was recommended. And after a few sessions, I just wasn't I 14:44 after a few sessions, I just wasn't I 14:44 after a few sessions, I just wasn't I just wouldn't open up. She wouldn't get 14:45 just wouldn't open up. She wouldn't get 14:45 just wouldn't open up. She wouldn't get to the core problems. 14:47 to the core problems. 14:47 to the core problems. >> And I just felt no, I I can't continue 14:50 >> And I just felt no, I I can't continue 14:50 >> And I just felt no, I I can't continue paying for something that just isn't 14:51 paying for something that just isn't 14:51 paying for something that just isn't helping me. So, I've got to find another 14:53 helping me. So, I've got to find another 14:53 helping me. So, I've got to find another alternative course. 14:54 alternative course. 14:54 alternative course. >> Many years later, when I read that book 14:56 >> Many years later, when I read that book 14:56 >> Many years later, when I read that book >> and I learned about mental health, I 14:57 >> and I learned about mental health, I 14:58 >> and I learned about mental health, I learned about awareness. I learned about 14:59 learned about awareness. I learned about 14:59 learned about awareness. I learned about what I was going through and everything 15:01 what I was going through and everything 15:01 what I was going through and everything just clicked and I thought, "Wow." 15:05 just clicked and I thought, "Wow." 15:05 just clicked and I thought, "Wow." So, 15:06 So, 15:06 So, >> excellent. That's quite a journey. 15:10 >> excellent. That's quite a journey. 15:10 >> excellent. That's quite a journey. >> Like most life's journeys, it's a bit of 15:12 >> Like most life's journeys, it's a bit of 15:12 >> Like most life's journeys, it's a bit of a roller coaster, isn't it? 15:13 a roller coaster, isn't it? 15:13 a roller coaster, isn't it? >> 100%. Always up and down. 15:15 >> 100%. Always up and down. 15:15 >> 100%. Always up and down. >> Ups and downs, twists and turns. 15:17 >> Ups and downs, twists and turns. 15:17 >> Ups and downs, twists and turns. >> Mhm. 15:18 >> Mhm. 15:18 >> Mhm. >> Not always knowing exactly what's going 15:20 >> Not always knowing exactly what's going 15:20 >> Not always knowing exactly what's going to come out the other end. 15:21 to come out the other end. 15:21 to come out the other end. >> No. And this is the beauty of it, isn't 15:23 >> No. And this is the beauty of it, isn't 15:23 >> No. And this is the beauty of it, isn't it? 15:23 it? 15:23 it? >> This is the richness of life, is it not? 15:25 >> This is the richness of life, is it not? 15:25 >> This is the richness of life, is it not? >> 100%. I used to look at so many 15:27 >> 100%. I used to look at so many 15:27 >> 100%. I used to look at so many colleagues who'd been stuck in the same 15:29 colleagues who'd been stuck in the same 15:29 colleagues who'd been stuck in the same job for so many years and I just 15:31 job for so many years and I just 15:31 job for so many years and I just couldn't undercut. I after 2 three 15:33 couldn't undercut. I after 2 three 15:33 couldn't undercut. I after 2 three years, I had to get the itch. I just 15:34 years, I had to get the itch. I just 15:34 years, I had to get the itch. I just want to move. I want to do something. I 15:35 want to move. I want to do something. I 15:36 want to move. I want to do something. I was always putting myself out of the 15:37 was always putting myself out of the 15:37 was always putting myself out of the comfort zone. So after the co I found a 15:40 comfort zone. So after the co I found a 15:40 comfort zone. So after the co I found a role which was close to me in a 15:41 role which was close to me in a 15:41 role which was close to me in a secondary school and my daughter's 15:43 secondary school and my daughter's 15:43 secondary school and my daughter's school and this secondary school were 15:44 school and this secondary school were 15:44 school and this secondary school were very close to each other. So, I remember 15:46 very close to each other. So, I remember 15:46 very close to each other. So, I remember her saying to me, "I hope you get this 15:48 her saying to me, "I hope you get this 15:48 her saying to me, "I hope you get this job, mom, because um you'll be so close 15:50 job, mom, because um you'll be so close 15:50 job, mom, because um you'll be so close and you could just pick me up and you 15:51 and you could just pick me up and you 15:51 and you could just pick me up and you could drop me off and it would mean the 15:53 could drop me off and it would mean the 15:53 could drop me off and it would mean the world." And I thought, "Gosh, that would 15:55 world." And I thought, "Gosh, that would 15:55 world." And I thought, "Gosh, that would be amazing." And on this particular 15:57 be amazing." And on this particular 15:57 be amazing." And on this particular role, it was I applied for a role, but I 16:00 role, it was I applied for a role, but I 16:00 role, it was I applied for a role, but I didn't get that role. I got another role 16:02 didn't get that role. I got another role 16:02 didn't get that role. I got another role and I was interviewed on a Zoom, first 16:03 and I was interviewed on a Zoom, first 16:03 and I was interviewed on a Zoom, first ever Zoom interview. 16:05 ever Zoom interview. 16:05 ever Zoom interview. >> And they interview, they actually took 16:07 >> And they interview, they actually took 16:07 >> And they interview, they actually took me on on the spot. 16:09 me on on the spot. 16:09 me on on the spot. >> Wonderful. So, you were back to 16:10 >> Wonderful. So, you were back to 16:10 >> Wonderful. So, you were back to >> I was back to school then. I was back to 16:12 >> I was back to school then. I was back to 16:12 >> I was back to school then. I was back to a school job. And this was secondary 16:13 a school job. And this was secondary 16:13 a school job. And this was secondary school. This was not primary school. 16:15 school. This was not primary school. 16:15 school. This was not primary school. what I was used to and I mean many 16:16 what I was used to and I mean many 16:16 what I was used to and I mean many people said to me I don't think you 16:18 people said to me I don't think you 16:18 people said to me I don't think you should even apply for it because your 16:19 should even apply for it because your 16:19 should even apply for it because your your education and your background is 16:21 your education and your background is 16:21 your education and your background is all in primary and early years why would 16:23 all in primary and early years why would 16:23 all in primary and early years why would you even go through the the saga and the 16:26 you even go through the the saga and the 16:26 you even go through the the saga and the difficulties of application and the 16:27 difficulties of application and the 16:27 difficulties of application and the process because surely you're not going 16:29 process because surely you're not going 16:29 process because surely you're not going to get it I said well I'm going to apply 16:30 to get it I said well I'm going to apply 16:30 to get it I said well I'm going to apply for it anyway because I've got two I've 16:32 for it anyway because I've got two I've 16:32 for it anyway because I've got two I've got young people who are in my life I 16:34 got young people who are in my life I 16:34 got young people who are in my life I had my um family members and I had my 16:36 had my um family members and I had my 16:36 had my um family members and I had my son who's a teenager and I've got some 16:38 son who's a teenager and I've got some 16:38 son who's a teenager and I've got some experience and I will write about them 16:39 experience and I will write about them 16:39 experience and I will write about them in the application form 16:40 in the application form 16:40 in the application form >> yes [laughter] 16:41 >> yes [laughter] 16:41 >> yes [laughter] yeah you've got lived experience 16:43 yeah you've got lived experience 16:43 yeah you've got lived experience >> absolutely 16:44 >> absolutely 16:44 >> absolutely Absolutely. And I realized that I 16:47 Absolutely. And I realized that I 16:47 Absolutely. And I realized that I absolutely loved engaging with these 16:48 absolutely loved engaging with these 16:48 absolutely loved engaging with these teenagers. 16:49 teenagers. 16:49 teenagers. >> I never thought I would.
Mental Health, Healing, and Personal Growth 16:51 >> I never thought I would. 16:51 >> I never thought I would. >> No, cuz that is quite unusual because 16:53 >> No, cuz that is quite unusual because 16:53 >> No, cuz that is quite unusual because they can be awkward, can't they? They 16:54 they can be awkward, can't they? They 16:54 they can be awkward, can't they? They can be difficult. 16:55 can be difficult. 16:55 can be difficult. >> Absolutely. But I completely loved the 16:57 >> Absolutely. But I completely loved the 16:57 >> Absolutely. But I completely loved the engagement and they were really warm 16:59 engagement and they were really warm 16:59 engagement and they were really warm towards me as well. And it was their 17:01 towards me as well. And it was their 17:01 towards me as well. And it was their feedback that could me like um got me to 17:04 feedback that could me like um got me to 17:04 feedback that could me like um got me to explore what else could I do with this 17:06 explore what else could I do with this 17:06 explore what else could I do with this mentoring experience 17:08 mentoring experience 17:08 mentoring experience >> because you were I guess at that point 17:12 >> because you were I guess at that point 17:12 >> because you were I guess at that point consciously or not looking into the 17:14 consciously or not looking into the 17:14 consciously or not looking into the whole sort of well-being of the person. 17:17 whole sort of well-being of the person. 17:17 whole sort of well-being of the person. >> Yes, absolutely. What I witnessed 17:21 >> Yes, absolutely. What I witnessed 17:21 >> Yes, absolutely. What I witnessed horrified me with the mental health of 17:22 horrified me with the mental health of 17:22 horrified me with the mental health of the young people. 17:24 the young people. 17:24 the young people. I I witnessed panic attacks 17:27 I I witnessed panic attacks 17:27 I I witnessed panic attacks at year 11 students and year eight 17:29 at year 11 students and year eight 17:29 at year 11 students and year eight students. 17:31 students. 17:31 students. Um yeah, it was really really really 17:33 Um yeah, it was really really really 17:34 Um yeah, it was really really really difficult. 17:35 difficult. 17:35 difficult. >> One time I remember this year 11 17:37 >> One time I remember this year 11 17:37 >> One time I remember this year 11 student, she was about to go into an 17:40 student, she was about to go into an 17:40 student, she was about to go into an assessment. It wasn't even GCSEs and 17:42 assessment. It wasn't even GCSEs and 17:42 assessment. It wasn't even GCSEs and this was the year when co GCSEs were the 17:45 this was the year when co GCSEs were the 17:45 this was the year when co GCSEs were the scrapped you you weren't to do GCC exams 17:47 scrapped you you weren't to do GCC exams 17:47 scrapped you you weren't to do GCC exams that year. So she had I know her to be a 17:51 that year. So she had I know her to be a 17:51 that year. So she had I know her to be a very incredibly bright capable student 17:55 very incredibly bright capable student 17:55 very incredibly bright capable student and she was so nervous about coming to 17:58 and she was so nervous about coming to 17:58 and she was so nervous about coming to this assignment. Do you know those 18:00 this assignment. Do you know those 18:00 this assignment. Do you know those little like when you play basketball and 18:02 little like when you play basketball and 18:02 little like when you play basketball and football in the schools they've got like 18:03 football in the schools they've got like 18:03 football in the schools they've got like little cages with those little black 18:05 little cages with those little black 18:05 little cages with those little black fence lines. She was holding on to that. 18:07 fence lines. She was holding on to that. 18:07 fence lines. She was holding on to that. all the other students had gone in and I 18:09 all the other students had gone in and I 18:10 all the other students had gone in and I remember like letting letting all the 18:12 remember like letting letting all the 18:12 remember like letting letting all the other students go in and she was had 18:13 other students go in and she was had 18:13 other students go in and she was had tears down her face and I I just went to 18:15 tears down her face and I I just went to 18:15 tears down her face and I I just went to her and I said look 18:17 her and I said look 18:18 her and I said look we can get through this let's walk 18:19 we can get through this let's walk 18:19 we can get through this let's walk together let me get you into class let 18:21 together let me get you into class let 18:21 together let me get you into class let get some water for you and I will 18:23 get some water for you and I will 18:23 get some water for you and I will because at that time if you were going 18:25 because at that time if you were going 18:25 because at that time if you were going to a class and you were late you would 18:27 to a class and you were late you would 18:27 to a class and you were late you would get um you would get into detention and 18:30 get um you would get into detention and 18:30 get um you would get into detention and you would get like points that they the 18:32 you would get like points that they the 18:32 you would get like points that they the negative points that they call it 18:33 negative points that they call it 18:33 negative points that they call it >> she didn't need that did she 18:34 >> she didn't need that did she 18:34 >> she didn't need that did she >> no abs but if a staff member was there 18:36 >> no abs but if a staff member was there 18:36 >> no abs but if a staff member was there with you it was Okay. Unless they you 18:38 with you it was Okay. Unless they you 18:38 with you it was Okay. Unless they you they could say, "Well, this so and so 18:40 they could say, "Well, this so and so 18:40 they could say, "Well, this so and so was with me and I was late because of 18:42 was with me and I was late because of 18:42 was with me and I was late because of that." They're very strict at all kinds 18:43 that." They're very strict at all kinds 18:43 that." They're very strict at all kinds of rules in secondary schools. So, I 18:45 of rules in secondary schools. So, I 18:45 of rules in secondary schools. So, I took her in, had her in the class really 18:47 took her in, had her in the class really 18:47 took her in, had her in the class really well. And then I dropped her in the 18:48 well. And then I dropped her in the 18:48 well. And then I dropped her in the class. And that's when I realized like 18:51 class. And that's when I realized like 18:52 class. And that's when I realized like this is really sad that she's so young, 18:53 this is really sad that she's so young, 18:53 this is really sad that she's so young, so capable, and she's confident young 18:56 so capable, and she's confident young 18:56 so capable, and she's confident young lady, and how is she feeling like this? 18:58 lady, and how is she feeling like this? 18:58 lady, and how is she feeling like this? >> How is she so stressed? 18:59 >> How is she so stressed? 18:59 >> How is she so stressed? >> And that was one of the turning points. 19:01 >> And that was one of the turning points. 19:01 >> And that was one of the turning points. and of course the other year students 19:03 and of course the other year students 19:03 and of course the other year students who had other panic attacks and things 19:04 who had other panic attacks and things 19:04 who had other panic attacks and things and that's what led me to what I do now 19:07 and that's what led me to what I do now 19:07 and that's what led me to what I do now and it was so subconscious and I feel 19:09 and it was so subconscious and I feel 19:09 and it was so subconscious and I feel like everything happens at the right 19:11 like everything happens at the right 19:11 like everything happens at the right time and it planted a seed in me 19:14 time and it planted a seed in me 19:14 time and it planted a seed in me >> and yeah it was just shocking to see her 19:19 >> and yeah it was just shocking to see her 19:19 >> and yeah it was just shocking to see her >> after a few weeks she would come into 19:20 >> after a few weeks she would come into 19:20 >> after a few weeks she would come into the pastoral office she would have talk 19:21 the pastoral office she would have talk 19:21 the pastoral office she would have talk to me and all the other students who 19:23 to me and all the other students who 19:23 to me and all the other students who would and I would always gel with 19:24 would and I would always gel with 19:24 would and I would always gel with students who were seemed as disruptive 19:28 students who were seemed as disruptive 19:28 students who were seemed as disruptive or the difficult ones the naughty ones 19:31 or the difficult ones the naughty ones 19:31 or the difficult ones the naughty ones whatever whatever the words are, you 19:32 whatever whatever the words are, you 19:32 whatever whatever the words are, you know, all the 19:33 know, all the 19:33 know, all the >> and I would I was always have a way of 19:35 >> and I would I was always have a way of 19:35 >> and I would I was always have a way of just talking to them and 19:37 just talking to them and 19:37 just talking to them and >> just getting to know them a bit more and 19:39 >> just getting to know them a bit more and 19:39 >> just getting to know them a bit more and they would trust me and the disclosures 19:41 they would trust me and the disclosures 19:41 they would trust me and the disclosures would get from some of the young girls 19:42 would get from some of the young girls 19:42 would get from some of the young girls and boys some of the things and and then 19:45 and boys some of the things and and then 19:45 and boys some of the things and and then I have to sign sign it up, write it all 19:47 I have to sign sign it up, write it all 19:47 I have to sign sign it up, write it all about it, 19:48 about it, 19:48 about it, >> give it sign post to the right person. 19:51 >> give it sign post to the right person. 19:51 >> give it sign post to the right person. >> Yes. 19:52 >> Yes. 19:52 >> Yes. >> The designated safeguarding lead. 19:53 >> The designated safeguarding lead. 19:53 >> The designated safeguarding lead. There's a lot of procedures in schools, 19:55 There's a lot of procedures in schools, 19:55 There's a lot of procedures in schools, >> but it was a very fascinating experience 19:58 >> but it was a very fascinating experience 19:58 >> but it was a very fascinating experience for me and to think I would never even 20:01 for me and to think I would never even 20:01 for me and to think I would never even applied for it cuz I'm more early years 20:03 applied for it cuz I'm more early years 20:03 applied for it cuz I'm more early years based. So challenging yourself is really 20:05 based. So challenging yourself is really 20:05 based. So challenging yourself is really important. Putting yourself out of 20:07 important. Putting yourself out of 20:07 important. Putting yourself out of >> and I did end up picking my daughter up 20:09 >> and I did end up picking my daughter up 20:09 >> and I did end up picking my daughter up from school every day. [laughter] It was 20:10 from school every day. [laughter] It was 20:10 from school every day. [laughter] It was so beautiful. That was a bonus. That was 20:12 so beautiful. That was a bonus. That was 20:12 so beautiful. That was a bonus. That was a bonus. 20:13 a bonus. 20:13 a bonus. >> Yes. Yeah. For both of you. 20:15 >> Yes. Yeah. For both of you. 20:15 >> Yes. Yeah. For both of you. >> Yeah. That's lovely. And I I agree with 20:17 >> Yeah. That's lovely. And I I agree with 20:17 >> Yeah. That's lovely. And I I agree with you. I mean my personal belief is that 20:20 you. I mean my personal belief is that 20:20 you. I mean my personal belief is that the universe 20:22 the universe 20:22 the universe when we are open to receiving our next 20:25 when we are open to receiving our next 20:25 when we are open to receiving our next steps our guidance 20:28 steps our guidance 20:28 steps our guidance will provide 20:30 will provide 20:30 will provide you know so long as we are open to it 20:33 you know so long as we are open to it 20:33 you know so long as we are open to it >> and maybe that you know in my belief 20:35 >> and maybe that you know in my belief 20:35 >> and maybe that you know in my belief system that's what happened with you in 20:38 system that's what happened with you in 20:38 system that's what happened with you in that you know for whatever reason 20:40 that you know for whatever reason 20:40 that you know for whatever reason >> I love that you said that because you're 20:42 >> I love that you said that because you're 20:42 >> I love that you said that because you're right to say we have to be open 20:44 right to say we have to be open 20:44 right to say we have to be open >> we have to open and just listening even 20:47 >> we have to open and just listening even 20:47 >> we have to open and just listening even when you're out. Well, you have to 20:49 when you're out. Well, you have to 20:49 when you're out. Well, you have to listen to rustles of the leaves. That is 20:51 listen to rustles of the leaves. That is 20:51 listen to rustles of the leaves. That is just so beautiful. 20:52 just so beautiful. 20:52 just so beautiful. >> You have to open. What is that voice 20:54 >> You have to open. What is that voice 20:54 >> You have to open. What is that voice telling me? What's going on? 20:55 telling me? What's going on? 20:55 telling me? What's going on? >> Yes. 20:55 >> Yes. 20:56 >> Yes. >> So, even I had colleagues who were 20 20:58 >> So, even I had colleagues who were 20 20:58 >> So, even I had colleagues who were 20 years younger than me and everyone 21:00 years younger than me and everyone 21:00 years younger than me and everyone thought I was the same age as them 21:02 thought I was the same age as them 21:02 thought I was the same age as them [laughter] for some reason. And we used 21:05 [laughter] for some reason. And we used 21:05 [laughter] for some reason. And we used to all gel together and I used to be end 21:08 to all gel together and I used to be end 21:08 to all gel together and I used to be end up there some advice I would give to my 21:10 up there some advice I would give to my 21:10 up there some advice I would give to my younger colleagues. Oh, Rashida, you 21:12 younger colleagues. Oh, Rashida, you 21:12 younger colleagues. Oh, Rashida, you give such good advice. you give such 21:14 give such good advice. you give such 21:14 give such good advice. you give such good advice and you know I love hearing 21:15 good advice and you know I love hearing 21:16 good advice and you know I love hearing about they'd always come to me. Many of 21:17 about they'd always come to me. Many of 21:17 about they'd always come to me. Many of my colleagues would come to me about 21:19 my colleagues would come to me about 21:19 my colleagues would come to me about different situations and guidance on 21:21 different situations and guidance on 21:21 different situations and guidance on what they could be doing. Oh, I love 21:22 what they could be doing. Oh, I love 21:22 what they could be doing. Oh, I love hearing what you have to say. So that's 21:25 hearing what you have to say. So that's 21:26 hearing what you have to say. So that's when I thought, wow, I could really go 21:28 when I thought, wow, I could really go 21:28 when I thought, wow, I could really go into life coaching. Maybe 21:30 into life coaching. Maybe 21:30 into life coaching. Maybe >> I could go into mentoring and life 21:31 >> I could go into mentoring and life 21:31 >> I could go into mentoring and life coaching. Maybe there's something more I 21:33 coaching. Maybe there's something more I 21:33 coaching. Maybe there's something more I could do with this. And then I just kept 21:35 could do with this. And then I just kept 21:36 could do with this. And then I just kept applying for other jobs. And I still 21:37 applying for other jobs. And I still 21:37 applying for other jobs. And I still again I wasn't getting those jobs that I 21:39 again I wasn't getting those jobs that I 21:39 again I wasn't getting those jobs that I really wished for. And that's when I 21:41 really wished for. And that's when I 21:41 really wished for. And that's when I went into the entrepreneurial business 21:42 went into the entrepreneurial business 21:42 went into the entrepreneurial business course 21:44 course 21:44 course >> and I thought, well, let's see if I can 21:46 >> and I thought, well, let's see if I can 21:46 >> and I thought, well, let's see if I can do my own thing. 21:46 do my own thing. 21:46 do my own thing. >> Yeah, because there's no space for the 21:48 >> Yeah, because there's no space for the 21:48 >> Yeah, because there's no space for the table. 21:49 table. 21:49 table. >> I'd make my own table and chairs like 21:50 >> I'd make my own table and chairs like 21:50 >> I'd make my own table and chairs like I'll sort myself out some I'll do 21:52 I'll sort myself out some I'll do 21:52 I'll sort myself out some I'll do something else. There must be something 21:54 something else. There must be something 21:54 something else. There must be something more to this. And I thought God must be 21:56 more to this. And I thought God must be 21:56 more to this. And I thought God must be guiding me to something else. 21:58 guiding me to something else. 21:58 guiding me to something else. >> Maybe the employ being employed and 22:01 >> Maybe the employ being employed and 22:01 >> Maybe the employ being employed and being in uh schools is done. I'm done 22:03 being in uh schools is done. I'm done 22:03 being in uh schools is done. I'm done with jobs and maybe I need to start 22:04 with jobs and maybe I need to start 22:04 with jobs and maybe I need to start doing entrepreneurship. I start 22:06 doing entrepreneurship. I start 22:06 doing entrepreneurship. I start something on my own. I didn't know what 22:07 something on my own. I didn't know what 22:07 something on my own. I didn't know what at that point. I didn't know have any 22:09 at that point. I didn't know have any 22:09 at that point. I didn't know have any idea. I looked into how people are doing 22:12 idea. I looked into how people are doing 22:12 idea. I looked into how people are doing life coaching and I thought if people 22:13 life coaching and I thought if people 22:13 life coaching and I thought if people are saying I'm good at g at giving 22:15 are saying I'm good at g at giving 22:15 are saying I'm good at g at giving advice surely I could go into life 22:17 advice surely I could go into life 22:17 advice surely I could go into life coaching. 22:18 coaching. 22:18 coaching. >> That's a very logical thought process 22:22 >> That's a very logical thought process 22:22 >> That's a very logical thought process but where did you actually end up? 22:24 but where did you actually end up? 22:24 but where did you actually end up? [laughter] 22:25 [laughter] 22:25 [laughter] >> Well so my name Rashida means rightly 22:27 >> Well so my name Rashida means rightly 22:27 >> Well so my name Rashida means rightly guided and so my I'm the founder of 22:29 guided and so my I'm the founder of 22:30 guided and so my I'm the founder of rightly guided academy. 22:31 rightly guided academy. 22:31 rightly guided academy. >> Oh I love that. 22:33 >> Oh I love that. 22:33 >> Oh I love that. >> I teach people personal development. I 22:36 >> I teach people personal development. I 22:36 >> I teach people personal development. I teach confidence, self-love. 22:40 teach confidence, self-love. 22:40 teach confidence, self-love. I teach public speaking to beginners. 22:44 I teach public speaking to beginners. 22:44 I teach public speaking to beginners. I teach all and parenting is a big thing 22:47 I teach all and parenting is a big thing 22:47 I teach all and parenting is a big thing cuz my background is obviously early 22:49 cuz my background is obviously early 22:49 cuz my background is obviously early years parenting consultant. 22:51 years parenting consultant. 22:51 years parenting consultant. And I do that with so much passion and 22:54 And I do that with so much passion and 22:54 And I do that with so much passion and joy that that service that brings me 22:57 joy that that service that brings me 22:57 joy that that service that brings me joy. I completely love it. And so at 23:02 joy. I completely love it. And so at 23:02 joy. I completely love it. And so at that point when after I did the course I 23:04 that point when after I did the course I 23:04 that point when after I did the course I started doing some open up my join the 23:07 started doing some open up my join the 23:08 started doing some open up my join the academy another business academy and I 23:11 academy another business academy and I 23:11 academy another business academy and I really was fearful about showing up on 23:13 really was fearful about showing up on 23:13 really was fearful about showing up on social media my colleagues used said to 23:16 social media my colleagues used said to 23:16 social media my colleagues used said to me Rashida when I see WhatsApp pictures 23:17 me Rashida when I see WhatsApp pictures 23:17 me Rashida when I see WhatsApp pictures I only see pictures of your kids I never 23:19 I only see pictures of your kids I never 23:19 I only see pictures of your kids I never see you cuz I struggled with a lot of 23:21 see you cuz I struggled with a lot of 23:22 see you cuz I struggled with a lot of self-loathing 23:23 self-loathing 23:23 self-loathing low self-esteem selfhate 23:26 low self-esteem selfhate 23:26 low self-esteem selfhate and I didn't want to put myself out 23:28 and I didn't want to put myself out 23:28 and I didn't want to put myself out there even in social media profile 23:31 there even in social media profile 23:31 there even in social media profile So when I was in the room with other 23:33 So when I was in the room with other 23:33 So when I was in the room with other people who are on similar journeys 23:35 people who are on similar journeys 23:35 people who are on similar journeys overcoming difficulties and challenges 23:37 overcoming difficulties and challenges 23:38 overcoming difficulties and challenges and that's when I thought well let me 23:40 and that's when I thought well let me 23:40 and that's when I thought well let me see what else I could do and I was 23:42 see what else I could do and I was 23:42 see what else I could do and I was encouraged by others and we got the 23:44 encouraged by others and we got the 23:44 encouraged by others and we got the support that we needed and I started 23:46 support that we needed and I started 23:46 support that we needed and I started showing up on social media. I started 23:48 showing up on social media. I started 23:48 showing up on social media. I started having my first posts on there and I 23:53 having my first posts on there and I 23:53 having my first posts on there and I started to overcome low self-esteem 23:56 started to overcome low self-esteem 23:56 started to overcome low self-esteem because 23:59 because 23:59 because few months after that 24:02 few months after that 24:02 few months after that when I decided that I wanted to go into 24:05 when I decided that I wanted to go into 24:05 when I decided that I wanted to go into my business we were into I thought I 24:08 my business we were into I thought I 24:08 my business we were into I thought I still wasn't sure I thought should I 24:10 still wasn't sure I thought should I 24:10 still wasn't sure I thought should I should not I should I knew that's a 24:11 should not I should I knew that's a 24:11 should not I should I knew that's a right a logical thing to do and I should 24:13 right a logical thing to do and I should 24:13 right a logical thing to do and I should do it 24:14 do it 24:14 do it >> but something was still stopping me 24:16 >> but something was still stopping me 24:16 >> but something was still stopping me there was a barrier there was something 24:17 there was a barrier there was something 24:18 there was a barrier there was something there that I just couldn't figure out. 24:20 there that I just couldn't figure out. 24:20 there that I just couldn't figure out. And I decided I was going to leave that 24:22 And I decided I was going to leave that 24:22 And I decided I was going to leave that secondary school role and just start 24:24 secondary school role and just start 24:24 secondary school role and just start fresh because I had been applying for so 24:26 fresh because I had been applying for so 24:26 fresh because I had been applying for so many jobs. It wasn't happening. I want 24:27 many jobs. It wasn't happening. I want 24:28 many jobs. It wasn't happening. I want to start a business. So, I'm going to 24:29 to start a business. So, I'm going to 24:29 to start a business. So, I'm going to start. And I left December 2021 the 24:34 start. And I left December 2021 the 24:34 start. And I left December 2021 the role. And January 2022, I decided, I'm 24:37 role. And January 2022, I decided, I'm 24:37 role. And January 2022, I decided, I'm going to start a new role. I'm going to 24:38 going to start a new role. I'm going to 24:38 going to start a new role. I'm going to do a new business. I'm going to do I'll 24:40 do a new business. I'm going to do I'll 24:40 do a new business. I'm going to do I'll figure something out. I'll take a break. 24:42 figure something out. I'll take a break. 24:42 figure something out. I'll take a break. First of all, I found myself invited to 24:45 First of all, I found myself invited to 24:45 First of all, I found myself invited to a family wedding and really excited to 24:47 a family wedding and really excited to 24:47 a family wedding and really excited to go to this wedding. And as I was booked 24:51 go to this wedding. And as I was booked 24:51 go to this wedding. And as I was booked a taxi to go to buy something and to buy 24:53 a taxi to go to buy something and to buy 24:53 a taxi to go to buy something and to buy some new outfits for the event, but this 24:58 some new outfits for the event, but this 24:58 some new outfits for the event, but this on my left, I could see a big pile of 25:00 on my left, I could see a big pile of 25:00 on my left, I could see a big pile of sand, construction sand, as we're going 25:02 sand, construction sand, as we're going 25:02 sand, construction sand, as we're going past. As we were driving along, we there 25:06 past. As we were driving along, we there 25:06 past. As we were driving along, we there was a collision. Suddenly there was a 25:08 was a collision. Suddenly there was a 25:08 was a collision. Suddenly there was a major collision and I found myself I 25:10 major collision and I found myself I 25:10 major collision and I found myself I could hear the driver saying his prayers 25:13 could hear the driver saying his prayers 25:13 could hear the driver saying his prayers and I started saying my prayers and I 25:14 and I started saying my prayers and I 25:14 and I started saying my prayers and I was really really worried on what was 25:16 was really really worried on what was 25:16 was really really worried on what was going to happen. I was conscious that I 25:18 going to happen. I was conscious that I 25:18 going to happen. I was conscious that I left my husband and my children at home 25:20 left my husband and my children at home 25:20 left my husband and my children at home and I was on my own. I had a few other 25:22 and I was on my own. I had a few other 25:22 and I was on my own. I had a few other family members with me. I mean my direct 25:24 family members with me. I mean my direct 25:24 family members with me. I mean my direct family wasn't with me 25:25 family wasn't with me 25:25 family wasn't with me >> and once we thought everyone was safe 25:27 >> and once we thought everyone was safe 25:27 >> and once we thought everyone was safe and I didn't even pass out. I suddenly 25:29 and I didn't even pass out. I suddenly 25:29 and I didn't even pass out. I suddenly found myself okay at that moment. I 25:33 found myself okay at that moment. I 25:33 found myself okay at that moment. I thought I was going to be gone. I was 25:34 thought I was going to be gone. I was 25:34 thought I was going to be gone. I was going to leave my leave this world, 25:35 going to leave my leave this world, 25:35 going to leave my leave this world, leave my family and children. And I just 25:38 leave my family and children. And I just 25:38 leave my family and children. And I just thought, "Wow, everything's okay." 25:40 thought, "Wow, everything's okay." 25:40 thought, "Wow, everything's okay." >> How scary that. 25:41 >> How scary that. 25:41 >> How scary that. >> It was so scary. It was so scary. And 25:43 >> It was so scary. It was so scary. And 25:43 >> It was so scary. It was so scary. And there was that pile of sand. Had it not 25:46 there was that pile of sand. Had it not 25:46 there was that pile of sand. Had it not been there, our vehicle would have gone 25:48 been there, our vehicle would have gone 25:48 been there, our vehicle would have gone even further down. And that pile of sand 25:50 even further down. And that pile of sand 25:50 even further down. And that pile of sand is that would have that stopped the 25:51 is that would have that stopped the 25:51 is that would have that stopped the vehicle going even further down. Um, I 25:53 vehicle going even further down. Um, I 25:54 vehicle going even further down. Um, I was in so much shock. I didn't realize 25:55 was in so much shock. I didn't realize 25:55 was in so much shock. I didn't realize what was really going on. 25:57 what was really going on. 25:57 what was really going on. >> Phone my husband. He arranged for a 26:00 >> Phone my husband. He arranged for a 26:00 >> Phone my husband. He arranged for a vehicle to take us back, take her to the 26:02 vehicle to take us back, take her to the 26:02 vehicle to take us back, take her to the hospital. got to the hospital. Deb said, 26:04 hospital. got to the hospital. Deb said, 26:04 hospital. got to the hospital. Deb said, "Would you believe I just had an 26:06 "Would you believe I just had an 26:06 "Would you believe I just had an accident?" And I said, "I'm going to I'm 26:08 accident?" And I said, "I'm going to I'm 26:08 accident?" And I said, "I'm going to I'm fine." They got wheelchair out for me. 26:10 fine." They got wheelchair out for me. 26:10 fine." They got wheelchair out for me. I'm like, "No, no, no. I'm fine. I'm 26:12 I'm like, "No, no, no. I'm fine. I'm 26:12 I'm like, "No, no, no. I'm fine. I'm going to walk like, "No, madam. I think 26:13 going to walk like, "No, madam. I think 26:13 going to walk like, "No, madam. I think you need to sit down. You had a major 26:15 you need to sit down. You had a major 26:15 you need to sit down. You had a major accident." And I actually um was covered 26:18 accident." And I actually um was covered 26:18 accident." And I actually um was covered in sand at this point. Only some people 26:20 in sand at this point. Only some people 26:20 in sand at this point. Only some people told me afterwards. And I didn't realize 26:22 told me afterwards. And I didn't realize 26:22 told me afterwards. And I didn't realize I could see loads of people looking at 26:23 I could see loads of people looking at 26:23 I could see loads of people looking at me, but I wasn't sure what they're 26:25 me, but I wasn't sure what they're 26:25 me, but I wasn't sure what they're looking. [laughter] 26:26 looking. [laughter] 26:26 looking. [laughter] I was covered in construction sand 26:27 I was covered in construction sand 26:28 I was covered in construction sand everywhere. Only afterwards I found out. 26:30 everywhere. Only afterwards I found out. 26:30 everywhere. Only afterwards I found out. And so I went in and they did the X-ray 26:32 And so I went in and they did the X-ray 26:32 And so I went in and they did the X-ray and I had collar collarblown and 26:34 and I had collar collarblown and 26:34 and I had collar collarblown and fracture and I had nerve damage. I had 26:37 fracture and I had nerve damage. I had 26:38 fracture and I had nerve damage. I had spine issues. I had I was in so much 26:41 spine issues. I had I was in so much 26:41 spine issues. I had I was in so much pain 26:41 pain 26:41 pain >> that they give me sleeping tablets to 26:43 >> that they give me sleeping tablets to 26:43 >> that they give me sleeping tablets to fall asleep. I don't want tablets. I 26:45 fall asleep. I don't want tablets. I 26:45 fall asleep. I don't want tablets. I don't need tablets. Like no it's just 26:47 don't need tablets. Like no it's just 26:47 don't need tablets. Like no it's just something to relax you. fell asleep and 26:50 something to relax you. fell asleep and 26:50 something to relax you. fell asleep and then the next day I was told exactly 26:52 then the next day I was told exactly 26:52 then the next day I was told exactly what happened and um everything all the 26:54 what happened and um everything all the 26:54 what happened and um everything all the injuries I had 26:56 injuries I had 26:56 injuries I had to think that I couldn't accept helped 26:59 to think that I couldn't accept helped 26:59 to think that I couldn't accept helped even though I've been through the 27:00 even though I've been through the 27:00 even though I've been through the accident and that leads me to the next 27:02 accident and that leads me to the next 27:02 accident and that leads me to the next part and I wasn't able to do a lot for 27:04 part and I wasn't able to do a lot for 27:04 part and I wasn't able to do a lot for myself super independent Rashida wasn't 27:06 myself super independent Rashida wasn't 27:06 myself super independent Rashida wasn't able to even brush her hair or go to 27:09 able to even brush her hair or go to 27:09 able to even brush her hair or go to rest or get into bed or get out of bed 27:11 rest or get into bed or get out of bed 27:12 rest or get into bed or get out of bed >> or or even feed yourself properly you 27:13 >> or or even feed yourself properly you 27:13 >> or or even feed yourself properly you know like things I do I was able to walk 27:16 know like things I do I was able to walk 27:16 know like things I do I was able to walk but my upper body there was very little 27:17 but my upper body there was very little 27:17 but my upper body there was very little strength And um it was just 27:21 strength And um it was just 27:21 strength And um it was just >> so awful. And I felt I felt I felt 27:24 >> so awful. And I felt I felt I felt 27:24 >> so awful. And I felt I felt I felt really grateful. First of all, I felt 27:26 really grateful. First of all, I felt 27:26 really grateful. First of all, I felt really grateful that I had survived. And 27:27 really grateful that I had survived. And 27:27 really grateful that I had survived. And when people came to visit me, I'm like 27:29 when people came to visit me, I'm like 27:29 when people came to visit me, I'm like and they'd be like looking at me all 27:31 and they'd be like looking at me all 27:31 and they'd be like looking at me all like feeling sorry and stuff. I'm like, 27:32 like feeling sorry and stuff. I'm like, 27:32 like feeling sorry and stuff. I'm like, but it's okay because I'm okay. I'm 27:33 but it's okay because I'm okay. I'm 27:34 but it's okay because I'm okay. I'm okay. 27:34 okay. 27:34 okay. >> I'm like, but we're supposed to be 27:35 >> I'm like, but we're supposed to be 27:35 >> I'm like, but we're supposed to be comforting you and you're comforting us. 27:37 comforting you and you're comforting us. 27:37 comforting you and you're comforting us. [laughter] 27:38 [laughter] 27:38 [laughter] >> That's your lovely nature. That's what 27:40 >> That's your lovely nature. That's what 27:40 >> That's your lovely nature. That's what that is. 27:42 that is. 27:42 that is. And I remember thinking 27:44 And I remember thinking 27:44 And I remember thinking I had one day had tears running down my 27:46 I had one day had tears running down my 27:46 I had one day had tears running down my face and I my husband was actually 27:48 face and I my husband was actually 27:48 face and I my husband was actually caring for me and I said to him how long 27:51 caring for me and I said to him how long 27:51 caring for me and I said to him how long are you going to put this put up with 27:52 are you going to put this put up with 27:52 are you going to put this put up with this for? How long you going to keep 27:53 this for? How long you going to keep 27:53 this for? How long you going to keep continue doing this for? And what he 27:55 continue doing this for? And what he 27:55 continue doing this for? And what he said to me really moved me he said I 27:58 said to me really moved me he said I 27:58 said to me really moved me he said I will continue doing this as long as you 27:59 will continue doing this as long as you 27:59 will continue doing this as long as you need me and you will get better. I 28:02 need me and you will get better. I 28:02 need me and you will get better. I didn't believe him for a minute that 28:03 didn't believe him for a minute that 28:03 didn't believe him for a minute that will get better and here I am 2 3 years 28:06 will get better and here I am 2 3 years 28:06 will get better and here I am 2 3 years down the road. um hiking, cycling, 28:09 down the road. um hiking, cycling, 28:09 down the road. um hiking, cycling, running my own business, speaking 28:11 running my own business, speaking 28:12 running my own business, speaking like I couldn't imagine feeling better 28:14 like I couldn't imagine feeling better 28:14 like I couldn't imagine feeling better cuz I was in so many I couldn't sleep 28:16 cuz I was in so many I couldn't sleep 28:16 cuz I was in so many I couldn't sleep all night, Debs. 28:17 all night, Debs. 28:17 all night, Debs. >> So that not sleeping all night and the 28:21 >> So that not sleeping all night and the 28:21 >> So that not sleeping all night and the accident was a huge gift. 28:24 accident was a huge gift. 28:24 accident was a huge gift. >> The gift when I say this people like 28:27 >> The gift when I say this people like 28:27 >> The gift when I say this people like what do you mean it's a gift? When I say 28:28 what do you mean it's a gift? When I say 28:28 what do you mean it's a gift? When I say gift, I mean because it gave me so much
Launching a Coaching Business 28:30 gift, I mean because it gave me so much 28:30 gift, I mean because it gave me so much reflection. It gave me reflect on my 28:32 reflection. It gave me reflect on my 28:32 reflection. It gave me reflect on my life, what I wanted to do. I felt was a 28:34 life, what I wanted to do. I felt was a 28:34 life, what I wanted to do. I felt was a second chance. That was a huge chance to 28:37 second chance. That was a huge chance to 28:37 second chance. That was a huge chance to start over. Now I was sure I was going 28:39 start over. Now I was sure I was going 28:39 start over. Now I was sure I was going to start my business. Now I was sure 28:41 to start my business. Now I was sure 28:41 to start my business. Now I was sure that I was going to find my passions and 28:43 that I was going to find my passions and 28:43 that I was going to find my passions and continue following my passions because I 28:46 continue following my passions because I 28:46 continue following my passions because I could have left this world. I could have 28:48 could have left this world. I could have 28:48 could have left this world. I could have gone and yet here I am. And I kept 28:50 gone and yet here I am. And I kept 28:50 gone and yet here I am. And I kept saying why did God save me? What was 28:52 saying why did God save me? What was 28:52 saying why did God save me? What was this? Not in a way like I didn't want to 28:53 this? Not in a way like I didn't want to 28:53 this? Not in a way like I didn't want to be here but sense like what is this? 28:56 be here but sense like what is this? 28:56 be here but sense like what is this? >> So that pain brought me to my passion. 28:59 >> So that pain brought me to my passion. 28:59 >> So that pain brought me to my passion. Purpose and passion all combined 29:00 Purpose and passion all combined 29:00 Purpose and passion all combined together to then now do what I do. And 29:05 together to then now do what I do. And 29:05 together to then now do what I do. And that was probably the biggest gifts, the 29:07 that was probably the biggest gifts, the 29:07 that was probably the biggest gifts, the accident, the pain. The pain brought 29:10 accident, the pain. The pain brought 29:10 accident, the pain. The pain brought purpose. 29:10 purpose. 29:10 purpose. >> Yes. 29:11 >> Yes. 29:11 >> Yes. >> And then it helped me understand my 29:12 >> And then it helped me understand my 29:12 >> And then it helped me understand my emotional pain cuz I I was under 29:14 emotional pain cuz I I was under 29:14 emotional pain cuz I I was under physical pain. I wasn't able to sleep 29:15 physical pain. I wasn't able to sleep 29:15 physical pain. I wasn't able to sleep very much. So in for me to get out of 29:18 very much. So in for me to get out of 29:18 very much. So in for me to get out of bed, I needed my husband or someone to 29:19 bed, I needed my husband or someone to 29:19 bed, I needed my husband or someone to get me out of bed cuz I had no upper 29:21 get me out of bed cuz I had no upper 29:21 get me out of bed cuz I had no upper body strength. 29:23 body strength. 29:23 body strength. >> So it was just something I'd never 29:25 >> So it was just something I'd never 29:25 >> So it was just something I'd never experienced. I I was super independent. 29:27 experienced. I I was super independent. 29:27 experienced. I I was super independent. And of course is a I realized it was a 29:29 And of course is a I realized it was a 29:29 And of course is a I realized it was a trauma response. I couldn't accept help. 29:31 trauma response. I couldn't accept help. 29:31 trauma response. I couldn't accept help. That accent taught me to accept help 29:32 That accent taught me to accept help 29:32 That accent taught me to accept help from the moment I went in hospital to 29:35 from the moment I went in hospital to 29:35 from the moment I went in hospital to then good two to three weeks I needed 29:36 then good two to three weeks I needed 29:36 then good two to three weeks I needed help and then slowly started the pain 29:38 help and then slowly started the pain 29:38 help and then slowly started the pain started to get better and knowing it's 29:41 started to get better and knowing it's 29:42 started to get better and knowing it's okay. So I couldn't do ironing and I 29:43 okay. So I couldn't do ironing and I 29:43 okay. So I couldn't do ironing and I couldn't do like proper deep cleaning 29:46 couldn't do like proper deep cleaning 29:46 couldn't do like proper deep cleaning and it's okay. I had to learn to take a 29:48 and it's okay. I had to learn to take a 29:48 and it's okay. I had to learn to take a break from everything. Slow down, ask 29:50 break from everything. Slow down, ask 29:50 break from everything. Slow down, ask for help and accept it. 29:53 for help and accept it. 29:53 for help and accept it. >> It's about being open to receive again, 29:55 >> It's about being open to receive again, 29:55 >> It's about being open to receive again, isn't it? 29:58 isn't it? 29:58 isn't it? >> Yeah. Yeah. which is really hard when 30:00 >> Yeah. Yeah. which is really hard when 30:00 >> Yeah. Yeah. which is really hard when you're used to doing everything 30:01 you're used to doing everything 30:01 you're used to doing everything yourself, isn't it? 30:02 yourself, isn't it? 30:02 yourself, isn't it? >> Absolutely. 30:04 >> Absolutely. 30:04 >> Absolutely. >> Yeah. [sighs] 30:05 >> Yeah. [sighs] 30:05 >> Yeah. [sighs] >> So, it was incredible that pain what it 30:08 >> So, it was incredible that pain what it 30:08 >> So, it was incredible that pain what it brought. 30:09 brought. 30:09 brought. >> Yeah. 30:11 >> Yeah. 30:11 >> Yeah. And on all this reflection, was this the 30:14 And on all this reflection, was this the 30:14 And on all this reflection, was this the time you started thinking 30:16 time you started thinking 30:16 time you started thinking about the concept of the book or was it 30:19 about the concept of the book or was it 30:19 about the concept of the book or was it just I need to get a message out there 30:22 just I need to get a message out there 30:22 just I need to get a message out there or 30:22 or 30:22 or >> so at that point it wasn't the I wanted 30:26 >> so at that point it wasn't the I wanted 30:26 >> so at that point it wasn't the I wanted to be an author from 2017. I remember 30:29 to be an author from 2017. I remember 30:29 to be an author from 2017. I remember speaking to one of my colleagues and I 30:30 speaking to one of my colleagues and I 30:30 speaking to one of my colleagues and I said to her, I really want to write a 30:32 said to her, I really want to write a 30:32 said to her, I really want to write a book because I want to write a book all 30:34 book because I want to write a book all 30:34 book because I want to write a book all about my experience in the education 30:35 about my experience in the education 30:35 about my experience in the education sector, all the different families I met 30:37 sector, all the different families I met 30:37 sector, all the different families I met along the way, all the different 30:39 along the way, all the different 30:39 along the way, all the different community service and and amazing 30:41 community service and and amazing 30:41 community service and and amazing experiences that I had because I was I 30:43 experiences that I had because I was I 30:43 experiences that I had because I was I was actually very inspired by the series 30:46 was actually very inspired by the series 30:46 was actually very inspired by the series called the midwife. 30:48 called the midwife. 30:48 called the midwife. >> Ah, 30:48 >> Ah, 30:48 >> Ah, >> and the author, the name's gone from my 30:51 >> and the author, the name's gone from my 30:51 >> and the author, the name's gone from my mind now. Something Lee her her name. 30:53 mind now. Something Lee her her name. 30:53 mind now. Something Lee her her name. >> Yeah, don't ask me. I'm terrible with 30:54 >> Yeah, don't ask me. I'm terrible with 30:54 >> Yeah, don't ask me. I'm terrible with names. So she's the author of the book 30:56 names. So she's the author of the book 30:56 names. So she's the author of the book and that book came into a TV series, 30:58 and that book came into a TV series, 30:58 and that book came into a TV series, didn't it? 30:58 didn't it? 30:58 didn't it? >> Yes, it did. 30:59 >> Yes, it did. 30:59 >> Yes, it did. >> And that was all about community 31:00 >> And that was all about community 31:00 >> And that was all about community service, East London. I'm East London. 31:02 service, East London. I'm East London. 31:02 service, East London. I'm East London. >> And I thought, oh, I could write I could 31:04 >> And I thought, oh, I could write I could 31:04 >> And I thought, oh, I could write I could do something like that. And that's when 31:06 do something like that. And that's when 31:06 do something like that. And that's when I wanted, but because I had really low 31:08 I wanted, but because I had really low 31:08 I wanted, but because I had really low selfworth and really low self-esteem, I 31:10 selfworth and really low self-esteem, I 31:10 selfworth and really low self-esteem, I just couldn't pursue it. So I remember 31:12 just couldn't pursue it. So I remember 31:12 just couldn't pursue it. So I remember writing a children's book with my 31:13 writing a children's book with my 31:13 writing a children's book with my daughter's name on it. But again, I 31:15 daughter's name on it. But again, I 31:15 daughter's name on it. But again, I wrote it and I just left it 31:16 wrote it and I just left it 31:16 wrote it and I just left it >> left it aside. And I just thought 31:20 >> left it aside. And I just thought 31:20 >> left it aside. And I just thought so the book concept came much later 31:23 so the book concept came much later 31:23 so the book concept came much later after I started doing life coaching and 31:25 after I started doing life coaching and 31:25 after I started doing life coaching and I realized I don't like doing onetoone. 31:27 I realized I don't like doing onetoone. 31:27 I realized I don't like doing onetoone. It's exhausting. I want to do one to 31:29 It's exhausting. I want to do one to 31:29 It's exhausting. I want to do one to many. So I did my first workshop in 2022 31:34 many. So I did my first workshop in 2022 31:34 many. So I did my first workshop in 2022 summer 2022 and the people who attended 31:37 summer 2022 and the people who attended 31:37 summer 2022 and the people who attended loved it. They wanted more topics. They 31:38 loved it. They wanted more topics. They 31:38 loved it. They wanted more topics. They wanted more. And then I did something 31:40 wanted more. And then I did something 31:40 wanted more. And then I did something about confidence and I thought this is 31:42 about confidence and I thought this is 31:42 about confidence and I thought this is it. That's when I found a huge turning 31:46 it. That's when I found a huge turning 31:46 it. That's when I found a huge turning point and it was like fuel. It was fuel 31:49 point and it was like fuel. It was fuel 31:49 point and it was like fuel. It was fuel for me to continue because the people 31:50 for me to continue because the people 31:50 for me to continue because the people loved it that attended and those 31:53 loved it that attended and those 31:53 loved it that attended and those sessions really helped me. I created 31:54 sessions really helped me. I created 31:54 sessions really helped me. I created slides myself. Everything was in my I 31:56 slides myself. Everything was in my I 31:56 slides myself. Everything was in my I had one very kind volunteer who would 31:58 had one very kind volunteer who would 31:58 had one very kind volunteer who would help me and outreach and bring people 32:01 help me and outreach and bring people 32:01 help me and outreach and bring people into the events and once people came 32:03 into the events and once people came 32:03 into the events and once people came they other people bring other people in. 32:05 they other people bring other people in. 32:05 they other people bring other people in. And when I did the confidence workshop I 32:07 And when I did the confidence workshop I 32:07 And when I did the confidence workshop I shared my journey and how at school I 32:09 shared my journey and how at school I 32:09 shared my journey and how at school I was not very confident. All of my school 32:10 was not very confident. All of my school 32:10 was not very confident. All of my school teachers will say, "Oh, Rashid needs to 32:12 teachers will say, "Oh, Rashid needs to 32:12 teachers will say, "Oh, Rashid needs to learn and have more confidence. Rashid 32:14 learn and have more confidence. Rashid 32:14 learn and have more confidence. Rashid needs to practice and practice on 32:15 needs to practice and practice on 32:15 needs to practice and practice on confidence and practice and have more 32:17 confidence and practice and have more 32:17 confidence and practice and have more confidence." And that's and then to a 32:19 confidence." And that's and then to a 32:19 confidence." And that's and then to a journey where I'm actually public 32:20 journey where I'm actually public 32:20 journey where I'm actually public speaking. I I didn't recognize it as 32:22 speaking. I I didn't recognize it as 32:22 speaking. I I didn't recognize it as public speaking. I wrote it as I'm doing 32:23 public speaking. I wrote it as I'm doing 32:23 public speaking. I wrote it as I'm doing workshops. I'm teaching. 32:25 workshops. I'm teaching. 32:25 workshops. I'm teaching. >> Oh, you educated. That's wonderful. 32:28 >> Oh, you educated. That's wonderful. 32:28 >> Oh, you educated. That's wonderful. >> So, I never thought of it as public 32:29 >> So, I never thought of it as public 32:29 >> So, I never thought of it as public speaking. The thought of public speaking 32:31 speaking. The thought of public speaking 32:31 speaking. The thought of public speaking actually would terrify me cuz we had 32:33 actually would terrify me cuz we had 32:33 actually would terrify me cuz we had school trainings and we'd see the head 32:35 school trainings and we'd see the head 32:35 school trainings and we'd see the head teacher in front of everyone's speaking 32:36 teacher in front of everyone's speaking 32:36 teacher in front of everyone's speaking and I'd look I think I could never do 32:38 and I'd look I think I could never do 32:38 and I'd look I think I could never do that. Oh, don't do that. 32:41 that. Oh, don't do that. 32:41 that. Oh, don't do that. So, I never talk looked at into public 32:44 So, I never talk looked at into public 32:44 So, I never talk looked at into public speaking. But then I love the actual 32:47 speaking. But then I love the actual 32:47 speaking. But then I love the actual teaching of what my experiences were. 32:50 teaching of what my experiences were. 32:50 teaching of what my experiences were. Teaching confidence, teaching, 32:51 Teaching confidence, teaching, 32:51 Teaching confidence, teaching, parenting, teaching, anything that I 32:54 parenting, teaching, anything that I 32:54 parenting, teaching, anything that I loved 32:55 loved 32:55 loved people to grow. I wanted to people to 32:57 people to grow. I wanted to people to 32:57 people to grow. I wanted to people to grow. I wanted people to know my 32:58 grow. I wanted people to know my 32:58 grow. I wanted people to know my experiences. And that's when I thought, 33:01 experiences. And that's when I thought, 33:01 experiences. And that's when I thought, I've got to do more about this. So, that 33:02 I've got to do more about this. So, that 33:02 I've got to do more about this. So, that was March 2023. And then I did the 33:05 was March 2023. And then I did the 33:06 was March 2023. And then I did the public speaking course in November 2023. 33:08 public speaking course in November 2023. 33:08 public speaking course in November 2023. I thought I want to do more and I 33:10 I thought I want to do more and I 33:10 I thought I want to do more and I recognized it as public speaking. I 33:11 recognized it as public speaking. I 33:11 recognized it as public speaking. I recognized my confidence grew and I 33:13 recognized my confidence grew and I 33:13 recognized my confidence grew and I realized how much I really loved sharing 33:16 realized how much I really loved sharing 33:16 realized how much I really loved sharing all of those gems. 33:17 all of those gems. 33:17 all of those gems. >> And and that's when 2023 was a year I 33:21 >> And and that's when 2023 was a year I 33:21 >> And and that's when 2023 was a year I thought no public speaker I am a public 33:22 thought no public speaker I am a public 33:22 thought no public speaker I am a public speaker. And that's when I reframed 33:26 speaker. And that's when I reframed 33:26 speaker. And that's when I reframed again. 33:27 again. 33:27 again. >> I did what was comfortable for me then. 33:28 >> I did what was comfortable for me then. 33:28 >> I did what was comfortable for me then. >> Yes. Absolutely. 33:29 >> Yes. Absolutely. 33:29 >> Yes. Absolutely. >> So then when I had more confidence I was 33:32 >> So then when I had more confidence I was 33:32 >> So then when I had more confidence I was happy to use the word public speaker. 33:35 happy to use the word public speaker. 33:35 happy to use the word public speaker. Yeah. You were able to step into 33:37 Yeah. You were able to step into 33:37 Yeah. You were able to step into >> Yeah. 33:37 >> Yeah. 33:37 >> Yeah. >> your brilliance. 33:39 >> your brilliance. 33:39 >> your brilliance. >> Absolutely. So the book came much later 33:41 >> Absolutely. So the book came much later 33:42 >> Absolutely. So the book came much later on. 33:43 on. 33:43 on. I knew I wanted to write a book and then 33:45 I knew I wanted to write a book and then 33:45 I knew I wanted to write a book and then I had a calling. I just had the feeling. 33:47 I had a calling. I just had the feeling. 33:47 I had a calling. I just had the feeling. I was speaking to my children. My son is 33:49 I was speaking to my children. My son is 33:49 I was speaking to my children. My son is 18, my daughter is 14 now, but at the 33:51 18, my daughter is 14 now, but at the 33:51 18, my daughter is 14 now, but at the time they're a little bit younger before 33:53 time they're a little bit younger before 33:53 time they're a little bit younger before I started the book and some of the 33:54 I started the book and some of the 33:54 I started the book and some of the conversations I've been having and I'd 33:55 conversations I've been having and I'd 33:55 conversations I've been having and I'd be mentoring the young girls, mentees 33:59 be mentoring the young girls, mentees 33:59 be mentoring the young girls, mentees 14, 13. what I've been recommended to 34:01 14, 13. what I've been recommended to 34:02 14, 13. what I've been recommended to because you've worked in school, we want 34:03 because you've worked in school, we want 34:03 because you've worked in school, we want you to help our young girls. And so when 34:05 you to help our young girls. And so when 34:05 you to help our young girls. And so when I was mentoring some of the things that 34:07 I was mentoring some of the things that 34:07 I was mentoring some of the things that they were talking to me, it was very 34:08 they were talking to me, it was very 34:08 they were talking to me, it was very concerning. 34:09 concerning. 34:09 concerning. >> So they were selfharming 34:12 >> So they were selfharming 34:12 >> So they were selfharming and [sighs] they were 34:15 and [sighs] they were 34:15 and [sighs] they were they just carry so much low self-esteem 34:17 they just carry so much low self-esteem 34:17 they just carry so much low self-esteem and low self worth. For a person who's 34:18 and low self worth. For a person who's 34:18 and low self worth. For a person who's been through that, 34:19 been through that, 34:19 been through that, >> I just wanted to do more 34:21 >> I just wanted to do more 34:21 >> I just wanted to do more >> and I wanted to do more than instead of 34:23 >> and I wanted to do more than instead of 34:23 >> and I wanted to do more than instead of doing one to one, I thought if I could 34:24 doing one to one, I thought if I could 34:24 doing one to one, I thought if I could write a book, I could do more than that. 34:26 write a book, I could do more than that. 34:26 write a book, I could do more than that. I just could do so much more than that. 34:28 I just could do so much more than that. 34:28 I just could do so much more than that. So that I kept looking for publishers. I 34:31 So that I kept looking for publishers. I 34:31 So that I kept looking for publishers. I kept looking. So I went in within our 34:32 kept looking. So I went in within our 34:32 kept looking. So I went in within our network, 34:33 network, 34:33 network, >> found the right publisher within our 34:35 >> found the right publisher within our 34:35 >> found the right publisher within our network. And it just felt right. It felt 34:38 network. And it just felt right. It felt 34:38 network. And it just felt right. It felt right time. And when I was at the public 34:39 right time. And when I was at the public 34:39 right time. And when I was at the public speaking course, people kept asking me, 34:41 speaking course, people kept asking me, 34:41 speaking course, people kept asking me, "Oh, what's your name of your book?" I 34:43 "Oh, what's your name of your book?" I 34:43 "Oh, what's your name of your book?" I don't have a book. Oh, I thought you 34:45 don't have a book. Oh, I thought you 34:45 don't have a book. Oh, I thought you were an author. Two, three people said 34:46 were an author. Two, three people said 34:46 were an author. Two, three people said that to me. And then I had my own events 34:49 that to me. And then I had my own events 34:49 that to me. And then I had my own events like I would have other people's books 34:50 like I would have other people's books 34:50 like I would have other people's books there. Oh, is that your book? Oh, I 34:52 there. Oh, is that your book? Oh, I 34:52 there. Oh, is that your book? Oh, I thought you would have written a book, 34:53 thought you would have written a book, 34:53 thought you would have written a book, too. [laughter] 34:54 too. [laughter] 34:54 too. [laughter] I thought, well, this is this is a sign. 34:56 I thought, well, this is this is a sign. 34:56 I thought, well, this is this is a sign. This is a sign. The universe is 34:58 This is a sign. The universe is 34:58 This is a sign. The universe is repeatedly telling me. [laughter] 35:00 repeatedly telling me. [laughter] 35:00 repeatedly telling me. [laughter] >> Exactly. 35:01 >> Exactly. 35:01 >> Exactly. >> Yes. 35:02 >> Yes. 35:02 >> Yes. >> Um and it came from an um deeper the 35:07 >> Um and it came from an um deeper the 35:07 >> Um and it came from an um deeper the book is is it's a place where I just 35:09 book is is it's a place where I just 35:09 book is is it's a place where I just speak from love. 35:11 speak from love. 35:11 speak from love. >> Not as a teacher, not as a parent, not 35:13 >> Not as a teacher, not as a parent, not 35:13 >> Not as a teacher, not as a parent, not in a lecture base, but a non-judgmental 35:16 in a lecture base, but a non-judgmental 35:16 in a lecture base, but a non-judgmental space where it's okay. I've got this. 35:18 space where it's okay. I've got this. 35:18 space where it's okay. I've got this. And I went through X, Y, and Z. I can 35:20 And I went through X, Y, and Z. I can 35:20 And I went through X, Y, and Z. I can help you. 35:21 help you. 35:21 help you. >> It made me reflect on the times that I I 35:23 >> It made me reflect on the times that I I 35:24 >> It made me reflect on the times that I I was self harming. I self harm for 18 35:26 was self harming. I self harm for 18 35:26 was self harming. I self harm for 18 years and it all came from a place of 35:28 years and it all came from a place of 35:28 years and it all came from a place of stress. I was every time I was felt 35:30 stress. I was every time I was felt 35:30 stress. I was every time I was felt really really stressed, things that were 35:32 really really stressed, things that were 35:32 really really stressed, things that were not out of my terms were not in my 35:33 not out of my terms were not in my 35:33 not out of my terms were not in my control. I would use self harm as coping 35:36 control. I would use self harm as coping 35:36 control. I would use self harm as coping mechanism. Once I understood that was 35:38 mechanism. Once I understood that was 35:38 mechanism. Once I understood that was not a healthy coping mechanism. I I
Writing the Book and Reaching Young People 35:40 not a healthy coping mechanism. I I 35:40 not a healthy coping mechanism. I I started to get better and all the 35:42 started to get better and all the 35:42 started to get better and all the reading. I didn't have therapy. I didn't 35:44 reading. I didn't have therapy. I didn't 35:44 reading. I didn't have therapy. I didn't take medication. I overcame self harm 35:47 take medication. I overcame self harm 35:47 take medication. I overcame self harm through understanding mental health 35:48 through understanding mental health 35:48 through understanding mental health through understanding what is 35:50 through understanding what is 35:50 through understanding what is self-compassion. And that was through 35:52 self-compassion. And that was through 35:52 self-compassion. And that was through reading. reading as well as um other 35:55 reading. reading as well as um other 35:55 reading. reading as well as um other courses and that's what helped me. It 35:56 courses and that's what helped me. It 35:56 courses and that's what helped me. It wasn't about because I've been to um 35:59 wasn't about because I've been to um 35:59 wasn't about because I've been to um therapy didn't help. I couldn't open up. 36:01 therapy didn't help. I couldn't open up. 36:01 therapy didn't help. I couldn't open up. >> Yeah. 36:01 >> Yeah. 36:01 >> Yeah. >> And nobody even used the terms of I 36:03 >> And nobody even used the terms of I 36:04 >> And nobody even used the terms of I think you might be coping. When I said 36:05 think you might be coping. When I said 36:05 think you might be coping. When I said to I don't I don't feel enough. I don't 36:07 to I don't I don't feel enough. I don't 36:07 to I don't I don't feel enough. I don't feel good enough Muslim. I don't feel 36:08 feel good enough Muslim. I don't feel 36:08 feel good enough Muslim. I don't feel good enough wife. I don't feel a good 36:10 good enough wife. I don't feel a good 36:10 good enough wife. I don't feel a good enough mother. I don't feel good enough 36:11 enough mother. I don't feel good enough 36:11 enough mother. I don't feel good enough employee. Not one person said to me look 36:14 employee. Not one person said to me look 36:14 employee. Not one person said to me look into how you could practice more 36:17 into how you could practice more 36:17 into how you could practice more self-compassion or what you do for your 36:19 self-compassion or what you do for your 36:19 self-compassion or what you do for your self-care. Those terms were not used. 36:21 self-care. Those terms were not used. 36:21 self-care. Those terms were not used. I'm talking about 10 years ago. 36:23 I'm talking about 10 years ago. 36:23 I'm talking about 10 years ago. >> Relatively similar, isn't it? 36:25 >> Relatively similar, isn't it? 36:25 >> Relatively similar, isn't it? >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. 36:26 >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. 36:26 >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. >> You know, this that language should have 36:27 >> You know, this that language should have 36:28 >> You know, this that language should have been there. 36:28 been there. 36:28 been there. >> Yeah. And I just couldn't and I couldn't 36:30 >> Yeah. And I just couldn't and I couldn't 36:30 >> Yeah. And I just couldn't and I couldn't open up and I couldn't be who and share 36:33 open up and I couldn't be who and share 36:33 open up and I couldn't be who and share everything I wanted to share and I was 36:35 everything I wanted to share and I was 36:35 everything I wanted to share and I was it's because I was suppressing for so 36:36 it's because I was suppressing for so 36:36 it's because I was suppressing for so long. We're taught to suppress and now I 36:39 long. We're taught to suppress and now I 36:39 long. We're taught to suppress and now I teach to express. [laughter] 36:41 teach to express. [laughter] 36:41 teach to express. [laughter] >> Yes. Um so the book came from them in 36:44 >> Yes. Um so the book came from them in 36:44 >> Yes. Um so the book came from them in because I wanted to do more for the 36:46 because I wanted to do more for the 36:46 because I wanted to do more for the young people because um young people 36:49 young people because um young people 36:49 young people because um young people there was still stigma around mental 36:50 there was still stigma around mental 36:50 there was still stigma around mental health 36:51 health 36:51 health >> and when the young people coming to me 36:53 >> and when the young people coming to me 36:53 >> and when the young people coming to me and instead of going to see a counselor 36:55 and instead of going to see a counselor 36:55 and instead of going to see a counselor in the school they can pick up a book 36:57 in the school they can pick up a book 36:57 in the school they can pick up a book and learn a lot and practice on their 36:59 and learn a lot and practice on their 36:59 and learn a lot and practice on their own and know none of their friends need 37:01 own and know none of their friends need 37:01 own and know none of their friends need to know. 37:02 to know. 37:02 to know. >> And one of the best things about this 37:03 >> And one of the best things about this 37:03 >> And one of the best things about this book is that you can pick up any 37:05 book is that you can pick up any 37:05 book is that you can pick up any contents any chapter and you you don't 37:07 contents any chapter and you you don't 37:07 contents any chapter and you you don't have to read the whole book. So if it's 37:10 have to read the whole book. So if it's 37:10 have to read the whole book. So if it's like about vaping or this is I'm 37:11 like about vaping or this is I'm 37:11 like about vaping or this is I'm stressed. If they're feeling stressed, 37:12 stressed. If they're feeling stressed, 37:12 stressed. If they're feeling stressed, they can just go to this chapter. If 37:14 they can just go to this chapter. If 37:14 they can just go to this chapter. If they feel like, you know what, um I'm 37:15 they feel like, you know what, um I'm 37:15 they feel like, you know what, um I'm not very happy with my friends 37:17 not very happy with my friends 37:17 not very happy with my friends friendship group, they can go to the 37:19 friendship group, they can go to the 37:19 friendship group, they can go to the section of my friends are friends matter 37:22 section of my friends are friends matter 37:22 section of my friends are friends matter chapter and they can just read about 37:23 chapter and they can just read about 37:24 chapter and they can just read about setting boundaries rather than going 37:25 setting boundaries rather than going 37:25 setting boundaries rather than going through the whole book to find that 37:26 through the whole book to find that 37:26 through the whole book to find that section. Wonderful. or they can go 37:28 section. Wonderful. or they can go 37:28 section. Wonderful. or they can go through like if they're feeling really 37:30 through like if they're feeling really 37:30 through like if they're feeling really really low and feeling really down, they 37:32 really low and feeling really down, they 37:32 really low and feeling really down, they can go to the I'm hack more happiness 37:34 can go to the I'm hack more happiness 37:34 can go to the I'm hack more happiness and practice some of the easier 37:35 and practice some of the easier 37:35 and practice some of the easier step-by-step guide of things they could 37:37 step-by-step guide of things they could 37:37 step-by-step guide of things they could do to feel happier. And that's what 37:40 do to feel happier. And that's what 37:40 do to feel happier. And that's what makes this book really easy and 37:41 makes this book really easy and 37:41 makes this book really easy and accessible and easy to read and any 37:44 accessible and easy to read and any 37:44 accessible and easy to read and any section, any chapter they can go into 37:45 section, any chapter they can go into 37:45 section, any chapter they can go into and just learn more about that. You 37:47 and just learn more about that. You 37:48 and just learn more about that. You don't I 100% advise people to go to 37:50 don't I 100% advise people to go to 37:50 don't I 100% advise people to go to therapy and counseling, but there are 37:52 therapy and counseling, but there are 37:52 therapy and counseling, but there are some times you're just not ready for 37:53 some times you're just not ready for 37:53 some times you're just not ready for that. 37:54 that. 37:54 that. >> Yeah. 37:54 >> Yeah. 37:54 >> Yeah. >> And you need to know more understanding 37:56 >> And you need to know more understanding 37:56 >> And you need to know more understanding about mental health. And this book does 37:58 about mental health. And this book does 37:58 about mental health. And this book does just that. So, and the the name comes 38:02 just that. So, and the the name comes 38:02 just that. So, and the the name comes from, you know, how young people always 38:04 from, you know, how young people always 38:04 from, you know, how young people always say, "Leave me alone. None of your 38:07 say, "Leave me alone. None of your 38:07 say, "Leave me alone. None of your business. It's my life." 38:09 business. It's my life." 38:09 business. It's my life." >> Yes. 38:09 >> Yes. 38:09 >> Yes. >> So, I'm telling them, "Yes, it's your 38:11 >> So, I'm telling them, "Yes, it's your 38:11 >> So, I'm telling them, "Yes, it's your life." 38:12 life." 38:12 life." >> Wonderful. You're reaffirming what 38:14 >> Wonderful. You're reaffirming what 38:14 >> Wonderful. You're reaffirming what they're saying. And I love the fact that 38:16 they're saying. And I love the fact that 38:16 they're saying. And I love the fact that you've distilled this down into 38:18 you've distilled this down into 38:18 you've distilled this down into bite-sized chunks because modernday 38:21 bite-sized chunks because modernday 38:21 bite-sized chunks because modernday attention span 38:23 attention span 38:24 attention span >> has diminished considerably, hasn't it? 38:26 >> has diminished considerably, hasn't it? 38:26 >> has diminished considerably, hasn't it? >> [laughter] 38:27 >> [laughter] 38:27 >> [laughter] >> I know I mean in the they used to say 38:29 >> I know I mean in the they used to say 38:29 >> I know I mean in the they used to say when I was at uni that if you gave a 38:33 when I was at uni that if you gave a 38:33 when I was at uni that if you gave a lecture that was 1818 minutes you would 38:36 lecture that was 1818 minutes you would 38:36 lecture that was 1818 minutes you would have people's attention. 38:38 have people's attention. 38:38 have people's attention. >> Okay. 38:39 >> Okay. 38:39 >> Okay. >> Yeah. 38:40 >> Yeah. 38:40 >> Yeah. >> But you know what would you learn at 38:42 >> But you know what would you learn at 38:42 >> But you know what would you learn at university level if everything was just 38:44 university level if everything was just 38:44 university level if everything was just 18 minutes? 38:45 18 minutes? 38:45 18 minutes? >> So but they used to they tried that 38:47 >> So but they used to they tried that 38:47 >> So but they used to they tried that concept of they you know they'd be 38:48 concept of they you know they'd be 38:48 concept of they you know they'd be they'd 38:49 they'd 38:50 they'd >> you know inform on a subject and then 38:51 >> you know inform on a subject and then 38:52 >> you know inform on a subject and then they do a pattern interrupt. 38:53 they do a pattern interrupt. 38:53 they do a pattern interrupt. >> Uhhuh. and whatever that might be. It 38:56 >> Uhhuh. and whatever that might be. It 38:56 >> Uhhuh. and whatever that might be. It might be a quick Q&A session. It I don't 38:58 might be a quick Q&A session. It I don't 38:58 might be a quick Q&A session. It I don't know, anything. I can't remember. 39:00 know, anything. I can't remember. 39:00 know, anything. I can't remember. >> And then they go back in with another 18 39:02 >> And then they go back in with another 18 39:02 >> And then they go back in with another 18 minutes. 39:02 minutes. 39:02 minutes. >> It's exhausting for the teachers, right? 39:04 >> It's exhausting for the teachers, right? 39:04 >> It's exhausting for the teachers, right? >> Yeah. But, you know, it didn't last, but 39:07 >> Yeah. But, you know, it didn't last, but 39:07 >> Yeah. But, you know, it didn't last, but it was productive. 39:08 it was productive. 39:08 it was productive. >> Mhm. 39:09 >> Mhm. 39:10 >> Mhm. >> There was a measurable difference. And 39:11 >> There was a measurable difference. And 39:11 >> There was a measurable difference. And that is what you're doing there. You're 39:13 that is what you're doing there. You're 39:13 that is what you're doing there. You're giving people short bites. 39:15 giving people short bites. 39:15 giving people short bites. >> Yeah. 39:17 >> Yeah. 39:17 >> Yeah. 100%. So, it's just And grief. One of 39:22 100%. So, it's just And grief. One of 39:22 100%. So, it's just And grief. One of the biggest things I remember my 39:23 the biggest things I remember my 39:23 the biggest things I remember my daughter went through um grief when we 39:25 daughter went through um grief when we 39:25 daughter went through um grief when we lost our pet cat 39:27 lost our pet cat 39:27 lost our pet cat >> and she was only in year seven to 11 or 39:29 >> and she was only in year seven to 11 or 39:30 >> and she was only in year seven to 11 or 12 years old. I remember how it impacted 39:31 12 years old. I remember how it impacted 39:31 12 years old. I remember how it impacted her and us actually. So I write write 39:33 her and us actually. So I write write 39:33 her and us actually. So I write write about it in the book. I write about 39:34 about it in the book. I write about 39:34 about it in the book. I write about grief. Grief about pets, grief about 39:37 grief. Grief about pets, grief about 39:37 grief. Grief about pets, grief about living things, grief about when parents 39:39 living things, grief about when parents 39:39 living things, grief about when parents are separating and the grief of that 39:41 are separating and the grief of that 39:41 are separating and the grief of that house, grief of that area, moving to a 39:44 house, grief of that area, moving to a 39:44 house, grief of that area, moving to a new location. People don't talk about 39:45 new location. People don't talk about 39:45 new location. People don't talk about that. grief for the living 39:47 that. grief for the living 39:47 that. grief for the living >> when it's not just about someone someone 39:49 >> when it's not just about someone someone 39:49 >> when it's not just about someone someone passes away of someone when people and 39:51 passes away of someone when people and 39:51 passes away of someone when people and family separate or people move to other 39:53 family separate or people move to other 39:53 family separate or people move to other countries. So if your cousins and your 39:55 countries. So if your cousins and your 39:55 countries. So if your cousins and your cousins move to another country that 39:56 cousins move to another country that 39:56 cousins move to another country that grief from going through that or your 39:58 grief from going through that or your 39:58 grief from going through that or your close friends have moved on and that's 40:00 close friends have moved on and that's 40:00 close friends have moved on and that's kind of things I see I observe a lot of 40:02 kind of things I see I observe a lot of 40:02 kind of things I see I observe a lot of it from my children and the children and 40:04 it from my children and the children and 40:04 it from my children and the children and young people that was mentoring and the 40:06 young people that was mentoring and the 40:06 young people that was mentoring and the things that was coming up I put it into 40:07 things that was coming up I put it into 40:07 things that was coming up I put it into the book 40:08 the book 40:08 the book >> and there was one chapter that my 40:10 >> and there was one chapter that my 40:10 >> and there was one chapter that my publishers wanted me to write about was 40:12 publishers wanted me to write about was 40:12 publishers wanted me to write about was knife crime cuz obviously being a 40:14 knife crime cuz obviously being a 40:14 knife crime cuz obviously being a Londoner it's quite a big thing and I 40:16 Londoner it's quite a big thing and I 40:16 Londoner it's quite a big thing and I said oh I don't know what I would write 40:18 said oh I don't know what I would write 40:18 said oh I don't know what I would write about knife I can't connect but there 40:20 about knife I can't connect but there 40:20 about knife I can't connect but there was something unburied a long time ago I 40:21 was something unburied a long time ago I 40:22 was something unburied a long time ago I put it aside we were we were victims My 40:23 put it aside we were we were victims My 40:23 put it aside we were we were victims My husband and I were victim of knife crime 40:25 husband and I were victim of knife crime 40:25 husband and I were victim of knife crime and um he was actually stabbed and we 40:28 and um he was actually stabbed and we 40:28 and um he was actually stabbed and we were very blessed that he everything had 40:30 were very blessed that he everything had 40:30 were very blessed that he everything had turned out well and I had to reheal by 40:33 turned out well and I had to reheal by 40:33 turned out well and I had to reheal by writing about it as so I put it in the 40:35 writing about it as so I put it in the 40:35 writing about it as so I put it in the terms of victim if 40:37 terms of victim if 40:37 terms of victim if >> I wanted young people to think about how 40:39 >> I wanted young people to think about how 40:39 >> I wanted young people to think about how the other person that they're doing it 40:40 the other person that they're doing it 40:40 the other person that they're doing it to how it feels like the reason why they 40:42 to how it feels like the reason why they 40:42 to how it feels like the reason why they could be doing I link it to low 40:43 could be doing I link it to low 40:43 could be doing I link it to low self-esteem or low selfworth being part 40:45 self-esteem or low selfworth being part 40:45 self-esteem or low selfworth being part of something because if you're not 40:47 of something because if you're not 40:47 of something because if you're not feeling loved and appreciated and valued 40:50 feeling loved and appreciated and valued 40:50 feeling loved and appreciated and valued at home you might be looking for that 40:51 at home you might be looking for that 40:51 at home you might be looking for that somewhere else. 40:51 somewhere else. 40:52 somewhere else. >> Yes. So they might be looking for in a 40:53 >> Yes. So they might be looking for in a 40:53 >> Yes. So they might be looking for in a friendship group and the even the 40:55 friendship group and the even the 40:55 friendship group and the even the friendship might not be of a positive 40:56 friendship might not be of a positive 40:56 friendship might not be of a positive influence on them. Um and if you are 40:58 influence on them. Um and if you are 40:58 influence on them. Um and if you are doing something like hurting someone 41:00 doing something like hurting someone 41:00 doing something like hurting someone with a knife, how does it make other 41:01 with a knife, how does it make other 41:01 with a knife, how does it make other people feel? 41:02 people feel? 41:02 people feel? >> So I turn it on that way and share my 41:05 >> So I turn it on that way and share my 41:05 >> So I turn it on that way and share my story when I was pregnant with my son. 41:07 story when I was pregnant with my son. 41:07 story when I was pregnant with my son. Um and my husband was stabbed and how it 41:09 Um and my husband was stabbed and how it 41:09 Um and my husband was stabbed and how it affected us as a family. 41:11 affected us as a family. 41:11 affected us as a family. >> Um and so turn it in the sense that 41:14 >> Um and so turn it in the sense that 41:14 >> Um and so turn it in the sense that teach me some empathy around that and 41:16 teach me some empathy around that and 41:16 teach me some empathy around that and teach self-regulation. 41:18 teach self-regulation. 41:18 teach self-regulation. Um, and I talk about my story on self 41:21 Um, and I talk about my story on self 41:21 Um, and I talk about my story on self harm as well and in a sense that it's 41:24 harm as well and in a sense that it's 41:24 harm as well and in a sense that it's okay if you're doing something's wrong, 41:25 okay if you're doing something's wrong, 41:26 okay if you're doing something's wrong, but how to overcome it. 41:27 but how to overcome it. 41:27 but how to overcome it. >> He's a step-by-step guide. So, this book 41:29 >> He's a step-by-step guide. So, this book 41:29 >> He's a step-by-step guide. So, this book has um again helped me heal 41:32 has um again helped me heal 41:32 has um again helped me heal >> again. [laughter] 41:34 >> again. [laughter] 41:34 >> again. [laughter] >> Yeah. [sighs] 41:35 >> Yeah. [sighs] 41:35 >> Yeah. [sighs] >> Yeah. Because 41:37 >> Yeah. Because 41:37 >> Yeah. Because >> life is a huge journey, isn't it? And we 41:39 >> life is a huge journey, isn't it? And we 41:39 >> life is a huge journey, isn't it? And we never know 41:41 never know 41:41 never know >> where those healing nuggets are going to 41:43 >> where those healing nuggets are going to 41:43 >> where those healing nuggets are going to come from, 41:45 come from, 41:45 come from, >> where they're going to drop into play. 41:47 >> where they're going to drop into play. 41:48 >> where they're going to drop into play. Yeah, 41:48 Yeah, 41:48 Yeah, >> because I mean we don't have crystal 41:50 >> because I mean we don't have crystal 41:50 >> because I mean we don't have crystal balls, do we? We may plan for the 41:52 balls, do we? We may plan for the 41:52 balls, do we? We may plan for the future, but we don't know 41:54 future, but we don't know 41:54 future, but we don't know >> what's around the corner. 41:55 >> what's around the corner. 41:55 >> what's around the corner. >> Absolutely. Absolutely. Who would have 41:58 >> Absolutely. Absolutely. Who would have 41:58 >> Absolutely. Absolutely. Who would have thought like when I was a teenager or 42:01 thought like when I was a teenager or 42:02 thought like when I was a teenager or even in my 20ies, I would write and 42:04 even in my 20ies, I would write and 42:04 even in my 20ies, I would write and speak and have a business all around 42:06 speak and have a business all around 42:06 speak and have a business all around teaching other people. I'd never 42:08 teaching other people. I'd never 42:08 teaching other people. I'd never >> if I was still looking to young Rashida 42:10 >> if I was still looking to young Rashida 42:10 >> if I was still looking to young Rashida now, 21, 202y old Rashida, I would tell 42:13 now, 21, 202y old Rashida, I would tell 42:13 now, 21, 202y old Rashida, I would tell her to hold on. Absolutely to keep going 42:16 her to hold on. Absolutely to keep going 42:16 her to hold on. Absolutely to keep going >> and be open 42:18 >> and be open 42:18 >> and be open >> and never be afraid. 42:20 >> and never be afraid. 42:20 >> and never be afraid. >> Yeah. It's sort of like a bit of inner 42:23 >> Yeah. It's sort of like a bit of inner 42:23 >> Yeah. It's sort of like a bit of inner child work. 42:24 child work. 42:24 child work. >> Yes. 42:25 >> Yes. 42:25 >> Yes. >> Yes. 42:25 >> Yes. 42:25 >> Yes. >> Looking back and giving her the love and 42:27 >> Looking back and giving her the love and 42:27 >> Looking back and giving her the love and reassurance. 42:28 reassurance. 42:28 reassurance. >> 100%. 42:29 >> 100%. 42:29 >> 100%. >> And the confidence. 42:30 >> And the confidence. 42:30 >> And the confidence. >> Yeah. The confidence. Yeah. 42:33 >> Yeah. The confidence. Yeah. 42:33 >> Yeah. The confidence. Yeah. So, it's been a real journey and I I 42:37 So, it's been a real journey and I I 42:37 So, it's been a real journey and I I pray that this book really goes into 42:39 pray that this book really goes into 42:39 pray that this book really goes into many um many hands internationally and 42:42 many um many hands internationally and 42:42 many um many hands internationally and it helps young people and my vision 42:44 it helps young people and my vision 42:44 it helps young people and my vision around that is to go into as many 42:46 around that is to go into as many 42:46 around that is to go into as many schools as possible. I'm already doing 42:47 schools as possible. I'm already doing 42:47 schools as possible. I'm already doing workshops in schools and um one of the 42:50 workshops in schools and um one of the 42:50 workshops in schools and um one of the workshops I do is called dream big. 42:53 workshops I do is called dream big. 42:53 workshops I do is called dream big. >> Oh, I like the sound of that. 42:55 >> Oh, I like the sound of that. 42:55 >> Oh, I like the sound of that. >> Really amazing. Thank you. Yeah, it's 42:57 >> Really amazing. Thank you. Yeah, it's 42:57 >> Really amazing. Thank you. Yeah, it's really amazing in the sense that what it 42:58 really amazing in the sense that what it 42:58 really amazing in the sense that what it does is it teaches people to have to to 43:01 does is it teaches people to have to to 43:01 does is it teaches people to have to to dream big and to actually make it happen 43:04 dream big and to actually make it happen 43:04 dream big and to actually make it happen and we go into little mini case studies 43:06 and we go into little mini case studies 43:06 and we go into little mini case studies which are child friendly ones and what 43:08 which are child friendly ones and what 43:08 which are child friendly ones and what they loved about that session is not all 43:10 they loved about that session is not all 43:10 they loved about that session is not all the information and the I say it's a 43:11 the information and the I say it's a 43:11 the information and the I say it's a blueprint to success and what I did they 43:15 blueprint to success and what I did they 43:15 blueprint to success and what I did they loved to hear my story yes it was 43:18 loved to hear my story yes it was 43:18 loved to hear my story yes it was amazing how I had yeah four children 43:20 amazing how I had yeah four children 43:20 amazing how I had yeah four children which were like 10 11 year olds and I 43:22 which were like 10 11 year olds and I 43:22 which were like 10 11 year olds and I had the assessment at the end like a 43:23 had the assessment at the end like a 43:23 had the assessment at the end like a feedback what did you like most of every 43:25 feedback what did you like most of every 43:25 feedback what did you like most of every form of 120 forms. They said it was my 43:28 form of 120 forms. They said it was my 43:28 form of 120 forms. They said it was my story. It's fascinating. So we sometimes 43:31 story. It's fascinating. So we sometimes 43:31 story. It's fascinating. So we sometimes we molecule our children a bit too much. 43:33 we molecule our children a bit too much. 43:33 we molecule our children a bit too much. We don't tell them certain things 43:35 We don't tell them certain things 43:35 We don't tell them certain things because oh they can't handle it. 43:36 because oh they can't handle it. 43:36 because oh they can't handle it. >> But actually they're more resilient than 43:38 >> But actually they're more resilient than 43:38 >> But actually they're more resilient than we think. 43:39 we think. 43:39 we think. >> I completely agree with that. And when 43:42 >> I completely agree with that. And when 43:42 >> I completely agree with that. And when >> I believe that when they see the person 43:45 >> I believe that when they see the person 43:45 >> I believe that when they see the person standing in front of them now, you know, 43:47 standing in front of them now, you know, 43:47 standing in front of them now, you know, a successful public speaker, an author, 43:50 a successful public speaker, an author, 43:50 a successful public speaker, an author, a wife, a mother. 43:52 a wife, a mother. 43:52 a wife, a mother. >> Yeah. 43:53 >> Yeah. 43:53 >> Yeah. and they are not able to see that for 43:57 and they are not able to see that for 43:57 and they are not able to see that for themselves because they are having 44:00 themselves because they are having 44:00 themselves because they are having whatever's going on for them at the 44:01 whatever's going on for them at the 44:02 whatever's going on for them at the time. 44:03 time. 44:03 time. >> If they can see that you had your trials 44:07 >> If they can see that you had your trials 44:07 >> If they can see that you had your trials and tribulations 44:08 and tribulations 44:08 and tribulations >> Yeah. 44:08 >> Yeah. 44:08 >> Yeah. >> and you've come out stronger and 44:11 >> and you've come out stronger and 44:11 >> and you've come out stronger and successful. 44:12 successful. 44:12 successful. >> Yes. It's not that person on the TV or 44:14 >> Yes. It's not that person on the TV or 44:14 >> Yes. It's not that person on the TV or on YouTube. 44:14 on YouTube. 44:14 on YouTube. >> Exactly. You're a real person. 44:17 >> Exactly. You're a real person. 44:17 >> Exactly. You're a real person. >> And what I did, I didn't tell them who I 44:18 >> And what I did, I didn't tell them who I 44:18 >> And what I did, I didn't tell them who I was in the beginning. And I just said, 44:19 was in the beginning. And I just said, 44:19 was in the beginning. And I just said, I'm going to show you about a story 44:20 I'm going to show you about a story 44:20 I'm going to show you about a story about who other people call her 44:22 about who other people call her 44:22 about who other people call her inspiration and amazing. And I just 44:24 inspiration and amazing. And I just 44:24 inspiration and amazing. And I just shared nuggets of what was child 44:26 shared nuggets of what was child 44:26 shared nuggets of what was child friendly enough for them. I didn't use 44:27 friendly enough for them. I didn't use 44:27 friendly enough for them. I didn't use the word depression. I just use the 44:28 the word depression. I just use the 44:28 the word depression. I just use the word. She felt very sad about X, Y, and 44:31 word. She felt very sad about X, Y, and 44:31 word. She felt very sad about X, Y, and Zed. 44:31 Zed. 44:31 Zed. >> Yes. 44:31 >> Yes. 44:32 >> Yes. >> And um and [snorts] then I said, "Do you 44:33 >> And um and [snorts] then I said, "Do you 44:33 >> And um and [snorts] then I said, "Do you want to know who that person is? You 44:34 want to know who that person is? You 44:34 want to know who that person is? You know what her name is?" 44:35 know what her name is?" 44:35 know what her name is?" >> I said, "Her name is Rashida Zaman and 44:37 >> I said, "Her name is Rashida Zaman and 44:37 >> I said, "Her name is Rashida Zaman and she's right here. I knew it was you. I 44:39 she's right here. I knew it was you. I 44:39 she's right here. I knew it was you. I knew it was you." [laughter] 44:41 knew it was you." [laughter] 44:41 knew it was you." [laughter] >> Wonderful. 44:42 >> Wonderful. 44:42 >> Wonderful. >> Yeah. It was I love interacting with 44:44 >> Yeah. It was I love interacting with 44:44 >> Yeah. It was I love interacting with young people as young as 10 and 44:48 young people as young as 10 and 44:48 young people as young as 10 and teenagers and the sessions I do, the 44:50 teenagers and the sessions I do, the 44:50 teenagers and the sessions I do, the sessions I run in all kinds of charities 44:52 sessions I run in all kinds of charities 44:52 sessions I run in all kinds of charities and schools and it's just gives me so 44:55 and schools and it's just gives me so 44:55 and schools and it's just gives me so much joy. 44:56 much joy. 44:56 much joy. >> Yeah. 44:57 >> Yeah. 44:57 >> Yeah. >> To engage and help and be part of it. 44:59 >> To engage and help and be part of it. 44:59 >> To engage and help and be part of it. And the feedback we receive as you know 45:01 And the feedback we receive as you know 45:01 And the feedback we receive as you know like the feedback is just always the 45:05 like the feedback is just always the 45:05 like the feedback is just always the push the fuel that you need. 45:07 push the fuel that you need. 45:07 push the fuel that you need. >> Absolutely. Keep you going. 45:08 >> Absolutely. Keep you going. 45:08 >> Absolutely. Keep you going. >> Yes. Yes. because I I truly believe that 45:11 >> Yes. Yes. because I I truly believe that 45:11 >> Yes. Yes. because I I truly believe that you are filling a huge gap in modernday 45:16 you are filling a huge gap in modernday 45:16 you are filling a huge gap in modernday education because it became very 45:19 education because it became very 45:19 education because it became very functional. 45:20 functional. 45:20 functional. >> Mhm. 45:21 >> Mhm. 45:21 >> Mhm. >> You know, you need to learn this by 45:22 >> You know, you need to learn this by 45:22 >> You know, you need to learn this by ropes so you can pass those exams cuz 45:25 ropes so you can pass those exams cuz 45:25 ropes so you can pass those exams cuz that's considered to be a success in 45:26 that's considered to be a success in 45:26 that's considered to be a success in life. 45:27 life. 45:27 life. >> Yeah. 45:29 >> Yeah. 45:29 >> Yeah. >> But nothing about the holistic nature of 45:33 >> But nothing about the holistic nature of 45:33 >> But nothing about the holistic nature of the fact that this is actually a person 45:35 the fact that this is actually a person 45:35 the fact that this is actually a person >> that's doing this learning. It's a human 45:38 >> that's doing this learning. It's a human 45:38 >> that's doing this learning. It's a human being that's interacting in all levels 45:41 being that's interacting in all levels 45:41 being that's interacting in all levels and dimensions of society and will 45:44 and dimensions of society and will 45:44 and dimensions of society and will continue to do so. They need to be 45:45 continue to do so. They need to be 45:45 continue to do so. They need to be educated 45:47 educated 45:47 educated >> in how to deal with 45:50 >> in how to deal with 45:50 >> in how to deal with life 45:51 life 45:51 life >> and whatever that throws whether that be 45:53 >> and whatever that throws whether that be 45:53 >> and whatever that throws whether that be good, bad or indifferent. 45:54 good, bad or indifferent. 45:54 good, bad or indifferent. >> 100%. And I I love that and what you 45:58 >> 100%. And I I love that and what you 45:58 >> 100%. And I I love that and what you just said it just reaffirms that work 46:00 just said it just reaffirms that work 46:00 just said it just reaffirms that work that we do when people hear our stories 46:02 that we do when people hear our stories 46:02 that we do when people hear our stories and they see that it's a real person in 46:04 and they see that it's a real person in 46:04 and they see that it's a real person in front of them is when I did A4 my local 46:06 front of them is when I did A4 my local 46:06 front of them is when I did A4 my local burough I did um 46:09 burough I did um 46:09 burough I did um human library they call it human library 46:11 human library they call it human library 46:11 human library they call it human library and I shared stuff that's happened to me 46:13 and I shared stuff that's happened to me 46:13 and I shared stuff that's happened to me in my life and what I've overcome. had 46:15 in my life and what I've overcome. had 46:15 in my life and what I've overcome. had PTSD after the accident. The functional 46:17 PTSD after the accident. The functional 46:17 PTSD after the accident. The functional depression, the self harm, the the the 46:21 depression, the self harm, the the the 46:21 depression, the self harm, the the the emotional pain, it turned into emotional 46:23 emotional pain, it turned into emotional 46:23 emotional pain, it turned into emotional power. And one of the ladies when I 46:25 power. And one of the ladies when I 46:25 power. And one of the ladies when I said, "Have you got any questions?" She 46:26 said, "Have you got any questions?" She 46:26 said, "Have you got any questions?" She said, "You've given me permission to 46:28 said, "You've given me permission to 46:28 said, "You've given me permission to reflect on myself and go to therapy and 46:31 reflect on myself and go to therapy and 46:31 reflect on myself and go to therapy and help myself as well. You've given me 46:33 help myself as well. You've given me 46:33 help myself as well. You've given me permission to take that hearing your 46:34 permission to take that hearing your 46:34 permission to take that hearing your story has given me permission to go to 46:36 story has given me permission to go to 46:36 story has given me permission to go to the next step that I want, needed to 46:38 the next step that I want, needed to 46:38 the next step that I want, needed to take." I was so touched by that. So 46:41 take." I was so touched by that. So 46:41 take." I was so touched by that. So touching. It gives people permission to 46:43 touching. It gives people permission to 46:43 touching. It gives people permission to look into their own lives when you share 46:45 look into their own lives when you share 46:45 look into their own lives when you share your own vulnerably on stage wherever 46:47 your own vulnerably on stage wherever 46:47 your own vulnerably on stage wherever wherever that stage is whether it's with 46:48 wherever that stage is whether it's with 46:48 wherever that stage is whether it's with children or whether it's young people or 46:50 children or whether it's young people or 46:50 children or whether it's young people or whether it's women or whether it's mixed 46:52 whether it's women or whether it's mixed 46:52 whether it's women or whether it's mixed group of 46:54 group of 46:54 group of attendees and students whoever they are 46:56 attendees and students whoever they are 46:56 attendees and students whoever they are like it's just 46:57 like it's just 46:57 like it's just >> so it's uncomfortable sometimes 47:00 >> so it's uncomfortable sometimes 47:00 >> so it's uncomfortable sometimes >> of course 47:00 >> of course 47:00 >> of course >> you have to learn not to overshare. 47:02 >> you have to learn not to overshare. 47:02 >> you have to learn not to overshare. >> Yes. 47:03 >> Yes. 47:03 >> Yes. >> And it's what the impact on that is as 47:07 >> And it's what the impact on that is as 47:07 >> And it's what the impact on that is as you know yourself as a public speaker is 47:08 you know yourself as a public speaker is 47:08 you know yourself as a public speaker is so so beautiful. 47:11 so so beautiful. 47:11 so so beautiful. So, 47:12 So, 47:12 So, I'll take the opportunity to say thank 47:13 I'll take the opportunity to say thank 47:13 I'll take the opportunity to say thank you for writing forward in my book. 47:15 you for writing forward in my book. 47:15 you for writing forward in my book. [laughter] 47:15 [laughter] 47:16 [laughter] >> Thank you for inviting me. I was just 47:18 >> Thank you for inviting me. I was just 47:18 >> Thank you for inviting me. I was just humbled and thrilled. 47:19 humbled and thrilled. 47:20 humbled and thrilled. >> It was such a beautiful piece what you 47:21 >> It was such a beautiful piece what you 47:21 >> It was such a beautiful piece what you wrote about the book um sharing that 47:23 wrote about the book um sharing that 47:24 wrote about the book um sharing that you're a mother of yourself with two 47:26 you're a mother of yourself with two 47:26 you're a mother of yourself with two young people as well. So, must have been 47:29 young people as well. So, must have been 47:29 young people as well. So, must have been What were your thoughts around when you 47:31 What were your thoughts around when you 47:31 What were your thoughts around when you heard that was writing this book? 47:33 heard that was writing this book? 47:33 heard that was writing this book? >> I wished it had come earlier cuz my 47:36 >> I wished it had come earlier cuz my 47:36 >> I wished it had come earlier cuz my youngest is 21 now. 47:38 youngest is 21 now. 47:38 youngest is 21 now. >> Yeah. you know and obviously 47:41 >> Yeah. you know and obviously 47:41 >> Yeah. you know and obviously like anybody you know issues have 47:44 like anybody you know issues have 47:44 like anybody you know issues have confronted them and us as a family 47:48 confronted them and us as a family 47:48 confronted them and us as a family >> and to have something 47:51 >> and to have something 47:51 >> and to have something easily accessible like that I think 47:52 easily accessible like that I think 47:52 easily accessible like that I think would have been great for them 47:54 would have been great for them 47:54 would have been great for them >> because if you don't gel with the 47:56 >> because if you don't gel with the 47:56 >> because if you don't gel with the traditional things that are out there 47:57 traditional things that are out there 47:57 traditional things that are out there like you just described where can they 47:59 like you just described where can they 48:00 like you just described where can they go 48:01 go 48:01 go >> you know if as a child your family 48:03 >> you know if as a child your family 48:03 >> you know if as a child your family structure is far from ideal let's say 48:06 structure is far from ideal let's say 48:06 structure is far from ideal let's say and you don't have the support from your 48:09 and you don't have the support from your 48:09 and you don't have the support from your caregivers, 48:10 caregivers, 48:10 caregivers, >> where do you go? 48:11 >> where do you go? 48:12 >> where do you go? >> 100%. Where do you go? Yeah. And as 48:14 >> 100%. Where do you go? Yeah. And as 48:14 >> 100%. Where do you go? Yeah. And as parents, we don't always have time to do 48:15 parents, we don't always have time to do 48:15 parents, we don't always have time to do all these other courses and sessions, 48:18 all these other courses and sessions, 48:18 all these other courses and sessions, but if you have something with all the 48:20 but if you have something with all the 48:20 but if you have something with all the blueprint in here, and what I call it is 48:22 blueprint in here, and what I call it is 48:22 blueprint in here, and what I call it is blueprint of success. I know it's 48:25 blueprint of success. I know it's 48:25 blueprint of success. I know it's >> a guide for young people to achieve 48:27 >> a guide for young people to achieve 48:27 >> a guide for young people to achieve excellent well-being and gains high 48:28 excellent well-being and gains high 48:28 excellent well-being and gains high selfworth, but it it's a blueprint to 48:30 selfworth, but it it's a blueprint to 48:30 selfworth, but it it's a blueprint to success and it gives you understanding 48:33 success and it gives you understanding 48:33 success and it gives you understanding of where we could be going and what 48:35 of where we could be going and what 48:35 of where we could be going and what could affect it. When I f when I 48:38 could affect it. When I f when I 48:38 could affect it. When I f when I actually learned the importance of high 48:39 actually learned the importance of high 48:39 actually learned the importance of high selfworth, I was fascinated by it. Yeah. 48:42 selfworth, I was fascinated by it. Yeah. 48:42 selfworth, I was fascinated by it. Yeah. >> Had I not dropped the low selfworth, I 48:44 >> Had I not dropped the low selfworth, I 48:44 >> Had I not dropped the low selfworth, I would not be sitting here with you. No. 48:45 would not be sitting here with you. No. 48:45 would not be sitting here with you. No. >> I would not have walked into those rooms 48:47 >> I would not have walked into those rooms 48:47 >> I would not have walked into those rooms if I had low self-esteem. I Oh, I don't 48:48 if I had low self-esteem. I Oh, I don't 48:48 if I had low self-esteem. I Oh, I don't belong in this room. There's 48:49 belong in this room. There's 48:49 belong in this room. There's millionaires and there's I'm I'm so and 48:51 millionaires and there's I'm I'm so and 48:51 millionaires and there's I'm I'm so and so and I shouldn't be in this room and I 48:53 so and I shouldn't be in this room and I 48:53 so and I shouldn't be in this room and I don't feel right. I walk straight out. I 48:54 don't feel right. I walk straight out. I 48:54 don't feel right. I walk straight out. I would have driven up there. 48:56 would have driven up there. 48:56 would have driven up there. >> Yeah. 48:56 >> Yeah. 48:56 >> Yeah. >> So, it's every step I took that was out 48:59 >> So, it's every step I took that was out 48:59 >> So, it's every step I took that was out of my comfort zone helped me come more 49:01 of my comfort zone helped me come more 49:01 of my comfort zone helped me come more become more confident. 49:03 become more confident. 49:03 become more confident. >> Yeah. and enough to be able to come here 49:05 >> Yeah. and enough to be able to come here 49:05 >> Yeah. and enough to be able to come here and become a public speaker and go into 49:07 and become a public speaker and go into 49:07 and become a public speaker and go into sharing my story is had I not wor looked 49:10 sharing my story is had I not wor looked 49:10 sharing my story is had I not wor looked into selfworth and low self-esteem had I 49:12 into selfworth and low self-esteem had I 49:12 into selfworth and low self-esteem had I not looked into it and dropped what I 49:16 not looked into it and dropped what I 49:16 not looked into it and dropped what I always say drop low selfworth 49:18 always say drop low selfworth 49:18 always say drop low selfworth >> I would have still been crawling through 49:19 >> I would have still been crawling through 49:20 >> I would have still been crawling through life one of the room quotes I love is um 49:23 life one of the room quotes I love is um 49:23 life one of the room quotes I love is um why crawl through life when you can fly 49:27 why crawl through life when you can fly 49:27 why crawl through life when you can fly >> that's delicious 49:28 >> that's delicious 49:28 >> that's delicious >> beautiful isn't it 49:30 >> beautiful isn't it 49:30 >> beautiful isn't it >> absolutely and now I feel I can fly I'm 49:33 >> absolutely and now I feel I can fly I'm 49:33 >> absolutely and now I feel I can fly I'm no longer crawling through life. 49:35 no longer crawling through life. 49:35 no longer crawling through life. >> Good for you. Your knees have had 49:36 >> Good for you. Your knees have had 49:36 >> Good for you. Your knees have had enough. [laughter] 49:39 enough. [laughter] 49:39 enough. [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah. And long may it continue. I 49:41 >> Yeah. Yeah. And long may it continue. I 49:41 >> Yeah. Yeah. And long may it continue. I mean, I'm sure you will write other 49:43 mean, I'm sure you will write other 49:43 mean, I'm sure you will write other books as you have more experiences and 49:47 books as you have more experiences and 49:47 books as you have more experiences and >> I'm sure it will trigger things because 49:49 >> I'm sure it will trigger things because 49:50 >> I'm sure it will trigger things because your mind is an inquisitive one and it's 49:52 your mind is an inquisitive one and it's 49:52 your mind is an inquisitive one and it's a problem-solving one and it's a very 49:54 a problem-solving one and it's a very 49:54 a problem-solving one and it's a very giving and loving one. 49:56 giving and loving one. 49:56 giving and loving one. >> Thank you. Yeah. I can't wait to write 49:58 >> Thank you. Yeah. I can't wait to write 49:58 >> Thank you. Yeah. I can't wait to write the next book. [laughter] 49:59 the next book. [laughter] 50:00 the next book. [laughter] >> I love that. And you're coming back here 50:01 >> I love that. And you're coming back here 50:01 >> I love that. And you're coming back here to tell me all about it. You know that 50:03 to tell me all about it. You know that 50:03 to tell me all about it. You know that already, don't you? 50:04 already, don't you? 50:04 already, don't you? >> I do. I do. 50:06 >> I do. I do. 50:06 >> I do. I do. >> Oh, but um yeah. And 50:09 >> Oh, but um yeah. And 50:09 >> Oh, but um yeah. And >> do you mind if I read a little bit of 50:11 >> do you mind if I read a little bit of 50:11 >> do you mind if I read a little bit of the introduction? Life can feel 50:13 the introduction? Life can feel 50:13 the introduction? Life can feel overwhelming, right? You might be 50:15 overwhelming, right? You might be 50:15 overwhelming, right? You might be dealing with stress and anxiety, 50:17 dealing with stress and anxiety, 50:17 dealing with stress and anxiety, struggling silently in situations you 50:19 struggling silently in situations you 50:19 struggling silently in situations you feel you can't share with anyone. When 50:21 feel you can't share with anyone. When 50:21 feel you can't share with anyone. When things get tricky, no one asks you, "Are 50:23 things get tricky, no one asks you, "Are 50:23 things get tricky, no one asks you, "Are you okay?" Instead, you get detentions 50:25 you okay?" Instead, you get detentions 50:25 you okay?" Instead, you get detentions and a mad telling off. Some days you it 50:28 and a mad telling off. Some days you it 50:28 and a mad telling off. Some days you it just gets too much and you just want to 50:30 just gets too much and you just want to 50:30 just gets too much and you just want to stay in bed. It's easy to feel lost, 50:33 stay in bed. It's easy to feel lost, 50:33 stay in bed. It's easy to feel lost, unsure which path to take, especially 50:35 unsure which path to take, especially 50:35 unsure which path to take, especially when it comes to your future and career. 50:37 when it comes to your future and career. 50:37 when it comes to your future and career. Everyone tells you to focus your 50:39 Everyone tells you to focus your 50:39 Everyone tells you to focus your studies, get good grades, go to good 50:41 studies, get good grades, go to good 50:41 studies, get good grades, go to good university, land a good job, find a good 50:43 university, land a good job, find a good 50:43 university, land a good job, find a good partner. It sounds like a lot and often 50:46 partner. It sounds like a lot and often 50:46 partner. It sounds like a lot and often no one tells you how to actually do any 50:48 no one tells you how to actually do any 50:48 no one tells you how to actually do any of it. The support available for young 50:51 of it. The support available for young 50:51 of it. The support available for young people is woeful. And if you don't make 50:53 people is woeful. And if you don't make 50:53 people is woeful. And if you don't make it to the school therapist 50:55 it to the school therapist 50:56 it to the school therapist who supports you to get through 50:57 who supports you to get through 50:57 who supports you to get through challenging periods and even when you do 50:59 challenging periods and even when you do 50:59 challenging periods and even when you do land on it and don't want to be seen 51:01 land on it and don't want to be seen 51:01 land on it and don't want to be seen leaving the class to see the counselor 51:03 leaving the class to see the counselor 51:03 leaving the class to see the counselor or get called out to talk to the school 51:05 or get called out to talk to the school 51:05 or get called out to talk to the school counselor because the minute you leave 51:07 counselor because the minute you leave 51:07 counselor because the minute you leave the classroom all of your friends will 51:09 the classroom all of your friends will 51:09 the classroom all of your friends will be asking what happened, who is it did 51:11 be asking what happened, who is it did 51:11 be asking what happened, who is it did you see? What did you talk about? Who 51:12 you see? What did you talk about? Who 51:12 you see? What did you talk about? Who was that? And you just don't want any of 51:14 was that? And you just don't want any of 51:14 was that? And you just don't want any of that. So you'd rather not see the 51:15 that. So you'd rather not see the 51:15 that. So you'd rather not see the counselor at all. But here's the truth. 51:17 counselor at all. But here's the truth. 51:18 counselor at all. But here's the truth. This is your life and what you decide 51:21 This is your life and what you decide 51:21 This is your life and what you decide what you get to do what good means to 51:24 what you get to do what good means to 51:24 what you get to do what good means to you as for your career whether it means 51:26 you as for your career whether it means 51:26 you as for your career whether it means to build a business or climbing the 51:27 to build a business or climbing the 51:28 to build a business or climbing the corporate ladder the choice is yours 51:31 corporate ladder the choice is yours 51:31 corporate ladder the choice is yours >> wonderful 51:31 >> wonderful 51:31 >> wonderful >> and that's where the term it's your life 51:33 >> and that's where the term it's your life 51:33 >> and that's where the term it's your life came from when I was writing the 51:35 came from when I was writing the 51:35 came from when I was writing the introduction he just came up 51:36 introduction he just came up 51:36 introduction he just came up >> no that's wonderful 51:39 >> no that's wonderful 51:39 >> no that's wonderful thank you 51:41 thank you 51:41 thank you >> pleasure thank you for having me 51:43 >> pleasure thank you for having me 51:43 >> pleasure thank you for having me >> it's been a delight fight.
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