A Lean Body & A Sharp Clear Mind

Lorraine Maita, MD

I’m so happy to be here. So many people suffer from this.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Yeah, I wanted it. Let me tell you, there are times I’m like, I think I’m having a midlife crisis, but. So you’re saying the midlife crisis is hormonal. So I’m picturing like the men that all of a sudden, like, go out and buy the Corvettes and the fancy car.

Lorraine Maita, MD

Well, it’s not just a man and it’s the women. And surprisingly, a lot of men find me for their wives, especially when they’re perimenopausal. So the couple comes in and the husband says, You know her, she’s wonderful, I love her. But her personality changed. And they sit together and then I describe what I generally see. And not that it’s them, not that it’s everybody. But I say, you know, in midlife, women get more irritable, they don’t sleep, they’re sort of snappy and they’re in your face like mad. And then both of them are like and the women say that to me. They say, I don’t know, that just came out of my mouth. I didn’t mean to say that. And then I feel guilty. I’m irritable and I’m tired. I did something or said something and I’m like, oh, I feel really bad now. So they’re they’re both nodding their head. So I don’t know if anybody out there is, you know, feels the same way because I’ve been doing this for over 30 years. And then the men, they say, well, the men, they don’t want to have the wild hormonal swings that women have. Their hormones kind of decline. And they’re like, I don’t, I just don’t have that oomph anymore. And that’s when they go out and they buy the Corvette, sometimes they have an affair or they’ll go to the gym and pump up, but their hormones may decline, making them withdraw. The women’s is in your face and it’s pulling the relationships apart. And when I describe this and it’s not everyone, I get all the head nods. And this has happened hundreds if not thousands of times, so that when I fix the woman, I also try to fix the men so that I’ve had people come together and say, “Oh my God, it’s made us closer. I feel like myself again. I got my life back”.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

That is amazing. And because a lot of times we’re just like, Oh, this is just what it’s like or we’re blaming the relationship on, you know, these snippy attacks, and or you’re just like, all right, you know what? That’s how it is. I’m getting older. Let’s just accept it.

Lorraine Maita, MD

There is no need to accept it. These hormonal changes are going to happen regardless but suffering is totally optional because, you know, I see the transformations every single day. And, you know, women in perimenopause, it’s a little, they are different because they’re like in a rowboat, in rough seas without oars and they’re bouncing all over the place. So hormones are going all over the place. Their moods are going all over the place. And, you know, I know it myself when I used to walk into the office, people would just like they duck.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

They like the parting of the seas. Everyone’s like.

Lorraine Maita, MD

Yeah, like the Red Sea. And I don’t know what mood she’s in, you know, even though, like, I always chose my words carefully, I always did the right thing because there is always a certain tone. Because when you haven’t slept and you’re tired and you’re irritable, nothing comes out right. So I know in perimenopause, women feel so much calmer and so much better with a little bit of progesterone. And in menopause, women describe it as like somebody pulled the plug, and my energy drained and the world went from color to black and white and everything is blah, it’s dull gray. I just don’t feel like myself and you know what? It doesn’t have to be that way with men. It’s like the grumpy, grumpy old men, you know, syndrome. They also get irritable but in a somewhat different way.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

You know, I was laughing because I was thinking about this and you don’t realize how much, how true this is until like I’ve recently went off my hormones because I was having a procedure, and my doctor wanted me to be off the hormones, which doesn’t make sense, but that’s a whole another story. But I didn’t even realize like all of a sudden I was like, it’s like bitchy. Betsey was back, and I was like, you know, like my husband and the kitten in. Definitely, sex was out the window like that. I was too angry and too tired and too cranky to think about, like, trying to develop my relationship or even have sex.

Lorraine Maita, MD

Yeah. And hormones are very potent neuromodulators. They really work on the brain. So it’s, you know, and I never forgot this slide that was shown to me when I first started learning about hormones. They show a slide with men’s hormones on and off. Simple right there. Either, you know, there’s testosterone is up or it’s down easy, right? Women, it’s like an airplane cockpit. We have birth, we have pregnancy, we have perimenopause, we have menopause, and we have PMS. It’s all these bells and whistles and all these dials that it’s so complicated. And that’s why men’s sex drive. I mean, they could be dead and have a sex drive and women you know, I say if you’re stressed, if you’re tired, if you have any anger or resentment, the first thing that goes is your sex drive. I don’t know if you’ve seen that in your practice.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Oh, yeah.

Lorraine Maita, MD

I see it all the time. And I remember a story where someone said to me, you know, Dr. Maita, I came to you because of no sex drive. Everything else is better. I lost weight. I feel energetic. I’m happy, but I just don’t have the sex drive. So, you know, we had the heart-to-heart. I said, you know, if there is, my relationship is good. I love my husband. It doesn’t have to do with love. You know, over time I planted the seed because I can’t figure it out. I’m not in your house with you. And she finally came to the conclusion. She said, you know, I am angry and resentful towards him. He travels a lot. And when he comes home, he’s too tired and he doesn’t pay any attention to me and that bothers me. So, once that changed, things came back again. Things came back again. So, you know, you have to kind of work through issues or let things slide over like, you know, water off a duck’s back because you hold on to things, you know, like, oh, he didn’t take the garbage out again or, you know, little slights. He left the toilet seat up or, you know, you let these little things bother you. It’s definitely going to interfere with your relationships.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

This is such a, I love this message because there are so many times that people think like when they’re having these midlife symptoms or whether it’s low sex drive or it’s like, you know, hot flashes or just like feeling blah. So many people are like, I’m here because I want hormones. After all, the hormones are going to fix me. But it’s not always just the hormones, right?

Lorraine Maita, MD

You had a man come to me and he was you know, his hormones were fine. And then he went to, you know, this special clinic in Boston, and blah, blah, blah. And they did something to him and he made his penis too hard and it wouldn’t go down. And it was scary. And I said, this is a medical emergency because you can strangulated, you know, I’ve seen it like priapism. So, you know, they go to any extent because they want their sex drive. But really it was some tension in their relationships. And he called me back as I had to talk him off the ledge and tell him what to do. And finally, he came back and said, you know, you were right. It was, we had some tension and we worked it out. And things are really good again. And even men have you know, they’re not as sensitive as women sometimes. Well, it depends on the man. You know, I can’t make that generalization and I can’t really make that generalization about the women either. But I see this over and over again. So if this resonates with any of you, I want to give you some ideas. You are not alone. You are not alone.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Yeah, that is so important. And so what kind of things like should we be looking into when we’re hitting midlife and we’re starting like especially when we’re under, you know, both male, female we’re getting and cranky because our hormones are doing weird things and our bodies can’t move and look the way they used to. And now our relationships are not the way they used to. I put a lot on you. what advice would you have for people about those things?

Lorraine Maita, MD

Well, yeah, that’s the typical thing that people see me for. So it’s not putting a lot on me. You know, you unlayer it, you make, you help people detoxify because you know what toxins really interfere with your hormones and they make everything worse. They make you gain weight and they’re called obesogens. Some of them, especially herbicides, and pesticides. They interfere with your hormone system, your immune system, and your nervous system. So all those things heightened anxiety or depression and weight gain that women are just like, oh, I can’t stand myself anymore. Help me get rid of this belly fat. A lot of that has to do with toxins. So, I mean, I have a whole process that I help people detox first and decrease inflammation. 

Then I balance their hormones and we teach them lifestyle because you know what, we’re all pushing ourselves. And I had this conversation with a patient the other day because she was feeling really guilty that, oh, I sometimes, I take a nap in the afternoon and I shouldn’t have to do that. I said, you know what, when I was a teenager, I took a nap in the afternoon. It wasn’t bad. Then when I was a young adult, I did it. We were all putting some things on ourselves, like, oh no, that means I’m getting old. No, you need to be rested to have sexual desire. You need to be rested to heal, to lose weight, to have energy, to have clarity, and to stop these mood swings. So sleep is extremely important. And then I wanted to tell, you know, mention you because, you know, a lot of women fear sex because of vaginal dryness.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Oh, yes.

Lorraine Maita, MD

That is huge. You know, and you can replenish the vagina with hormones. And I know that you’ve used some other pretty interesting things. So, you know, I know you’re going to be sharing a lot of that on this summit, but vaginal dryness is a total turnoff. I mean, it’s you know, once you have painful sex, it’s your limbic system in your brain that anticipates it and then you just tighten up and you’re tense. And how are you going to relax into orgasm and enjoy that lovely sexual act and orgasm? It’s just it’s really a wonderful thing. You know, the big O, it’s important.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Again, there are health benefits to having an orgasm, too. It’s not just for the fun.

Lorraine Maita, MD

It relieves tension. And I have a little trick that I have some of my women do is I sometimes give testosterone vaginally and I say put a little dab on your G-spot and once in a while put a little dab on your clitoris. And you know what one of my patients said to me? Because if you put it on the clitoris all the time, you’ll get clitoral enlargement, you know. But she said, Oh, Dr. Maita, I get orgasm like that, you know, and it really helps and it keeps that vagina moist. It doesn’t grow hair there because some people who used topical I know I had I had laser hair removal on my legs and I put topical testosterone there and all the hair was starting to grow back and I said, Oh, I spent all that money. So I realized if you get it, put it on the vagina. Not only does it lubricate the vagina, it enhances orgasm. You don’t spread it to anyone and it won’t grow hair there. So that’s one of my little tricks that people really enjoy in more ways than one.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Yeah, that is great. And that’s the goal for people to let them know when you’re coming to testosterone cream. That usually has to be purchased through a practitioner who is going to give you a prescription for a compounding pharmacy or because unfortunately, that’s not one of the ones that we can get just over the counter in the United States. I don’t know anywhere else if you’re listening from someplace else.

Lorraine Maita, MD

Yeah, it’s a controlled substance in the United States.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Which is crazy.

Lorraine Maita, MD

Yeah. You know it’s been abused but it’s really, you know, women benefit from testosterone. I see, it gives you a sense of self-confidence and well-being and, you know, it enhances your desire. But that’s not the only hormone, you know, and that’s why people say, just give me testosterone. And, you know, it’s the cortisol, the stress hormone. Like I said, you’re stressed, you’re tired and wired. You’re not going to be relaxed enough to have the desire and have the big O.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

And that brings up, like hormones because like I said, a lot of people, they come in and they think they know what hormones they should be on. And really it’s not as like a cookbook as that. So the men are like come in, I need testosterone. The women come in like I need, well, now they say testosterone. These are not always, now they’re like, I need estrogen or testosterone, but there’s more than just that. So what have you found with the kind of symphony of hormones that are out there?

Lorraine Maita, MD

Well, when the cortisol is up, your sex hormones are down. I mean, you know, the nervous system and the hormone system. The nervous system, you could be fight or flight or the other side of the nervous system is rest, digest, reproduce, repair, rejuvenate, and regenerate. So you need, if this cortisol is high, it’s shutting all that down because you’re running from a tiger, even though there are none, where we’re just constantly bombarded with stuff. And I see this a lot in men, you know, I’ve actually had some men who said they didn’t want testosterone, but when they, I saw high cortisol brought the cortisol down, I was like, the testosterone came up and they were happy campers. And then the other side of the coin is if you go from stressed out to burn out the cortisol is flatlined, you can’t even get out of bed. These are the people with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue and I can’t get out of bed and life is miserable and I’m just not happy. So cortisol, I test cortisol in absolutely everybody because it’s a switch that if you get that right, you get everything else right. Of course, we mentioned testosterone and another one is oxytocin. That’s your cuddle hormone. You know, this is why one of the tricks is you’ve got to get in the mood. You’ve got to have, women need a lot of foreplay when you remember it’s on off. You know, and you almost have to ask for it, you know, cuddle a little bit first, kiss, have your husband or your spouse or whoever or your significant other stroke you and it gets that oxytocin going in it puts you in the mood and it creates bonds. It really does.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Yeah. I think that’s so important because especially people, I know I talk to my friends and myself, you know, everybody gets in these busy schedules and they’re, you know, they got work or kids and then it gets like it’s almost like you’re trying to fit the sex into the schedule, too. And I like how you’re like, you know, probably slow down, like spend time touching because you can’t be like, okay, well, it’s 9:00 and we have it on the schedule. Let’s go.

Lorraine Maita, MD

But you actually do have to schedule time like some people do date night where you carve a space around that time so that you can relax, you can get in the mood. You don’t have to say, oh, oh, it’s exactly, you know, this is slam bam. Thank you, ma’am. You know, I’m doing my duty here. You know, like a lot of women say that it’s like, you know, I have to do it and, and they almost feel like it’s an obligation rather than a purposeful act of mutual enjoyment and mutual pleasure.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Yeah, I like that. I like that because, you know, there’s and I’ve heard that before, too, especially from my female patients and more so when Viagra actually came out was I had more women complaining about sex when Viagra came on the market. But I don’t think that is completely a male-driven issue. I think it’s a communication issue because if one partner felt like they needed to go get the Viagra and the other partner now is upset because they’re like, Oh, now I have to have sex. There are a lot of other things that need to be unpacked in there to get everybody on the same page.

Lorraine Maita, MD

Yes. You know, that’s why, you know, building your relationship is extremely important. And going back to what attracted you to the person in the first place and trying to rekindle the romance and create, go, maybe that’s why date nights are important you take yourself out of your environment. You get in the mood or you know, sometimes, you know, I tell people women sometimes you have to fake it to make it. You have to masturbate, you know, get the juices flowing, get back on the bike. Once you start experiencing that and getting that desire, you get the desire back. And you do have to sometimes fake it until you make it, and then do things for stimulation. So, you know, it’s it’s important because you got to retrain your body.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Yeah, I agree with you wholeheartedly because this is definitely something if you don’t use it, you lose it. Like, I can’t tell you how many times as a gynecologist I’ve gone into a room for a woman who, let’s say, is, you know, maybe divorced or maybe widowed and is not using her lady parts. And you try to go and do an exam and not know not only not being able to get a speculum inside, but can’t get like my pinky finger inside or the labia have kind of like shriveled up and gone away because the more you get stimulation on that area, whether it’s with a partner or with yourself, the more blood flow, the healthier the tissue is, the easier it is to be able to get it. Like, use it. Here’s another example, during the quarantine, I had a car used to drive that car all the time. During the quarantine, that car set in my driveway. I went to go all of a sudden and drive that car. I couldn’t drive it. The brakes had rusted.

Lorraine Maita, MD

Oh, no.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

It wasn’t going anywhere.

Lorraine Maita, MD

Well, I forgot how to go places and I felt uncomfortable driving because it was the same thing. I’ve been doing telehealth and it was it felt strange to drive again. And, you know, a lot of women are scared. They’re very scared, especially if they haven’t had relations with someone in a while. Like you said, they’re divorced or they’re widowed. And so that’s why I say practice, but also dealing with past traumas of some sort, you know, they had a bad experience or, you know, god forbid, rape or they’ve had some procedure in the area and it just triggers something. Dealing with past trauma is really important and there are ways to do that. I know many people who help people with that.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

That’s such a great point, too. And you know, it’s kind of this accumulation of I always go back to body, mind, spirit. If we don’t have balance in all three areas.

Lorraine Maita, MD

Yeah.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Nothing’s going to work or things are going to work as well.

Lorraine Maita, MD

Right. And that’s why when I tell people I use a vitality formula, I add what’s missing. You need good nutrition to have energy, right? You need a good, healthy gut. Believe it or not, when I have people who have problems with their hormones, it’s usually their gut, their gut, or their women or missing their gallbladder and they can’t process it. So we have to deal with all of that. So if they’re missing bile salts or they’re missing stuff to allow them to move their bowels, you know how many women are constipated and then they have side effects from their hormones because they can’t get rid of the breakdown products. So, you know, so we add what’s missing. We take away things like toxins and we make sure they get rest and sleep and exercise. You know, you need the whole picture. And sexism starts in the mind. Yes. The whole mind, body spirit, you know, that’s maybe watch some romance movies or fantasize or visualize, do whatever you need to do to get in the mood. Because it’s, if you have this feeling, that it’s an obligation or you have the anger and resentment, you got to deal with it in order to get your sexual desire back. And if you’ve had past traumas, you have to deal with it to get your sexual desire back because it will be a much more fulfilling life and a much closer relationship to be able to bond to somebody and meet in that act of sheer pleasure. It should be sheer pleasure. There’s nothing like it. There’s nothing like it.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

That’s why I keep saying, like I’ve had women who were like, it’s not fair, men have Viagra. And I’m like, listen, Viagra is not some magic pill. It’s a blood flow pill. That’s all it is. Like they can’t come up with a horny pill and don’t nobody wait around for the horny pill because it’s not coming because you got it all up here. It’s in the head and everybody’s different. So that’s why there will never be a pill to make, put you in the mood because everybody has something different that puts you in the mood. And this is where spending time with yourself and really delving into that imagination and in playing it’s a set, you know it’s actually played being playful to try to figure out what is it in my brain that works for me.

Lorraine Maita, MD

So yeah and it’s not just testosterone and it’s, you know, estrogen and progesterone have to be balanced when women are like, man, you know, they’re in your face and perimenopause and they’re anxious and irritable and snappy, like PMS, very menopause. It’s usually a lack of progesterone. And, you know, in the younger women, I give herbals because that can help you stimulate your body. In older women, you know, your ovaries are retired. You know they’re not going to make it no matter what, you know. So you get progesterone seed. Once you get that balance, you feel good. And in menopause, you know, you’re missing both. So, you know, estrogens, a funny thing, too much or too little, you gain weight and then women don’t feel good about themselves and they don’t feel good about themselves. They don’t want to be seen naked. They don’t want to have sex. So, you know, we get the hormones in balance and, you know, you can’t forget the thyroid because the thyroid is the most sensitive of all your hormonal glands. And you need it for energy and you need energy to have sex and desire. And, you know, you need to look at all the pieces of the puzzle and mind, body, spirit.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

This is amazing. I could talk to you about this forever, Lorraine, but where can people find out more information about you?

Lorraine Maita, MD

thefeelgoodagaininstitute.com

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

Oh, I love that name. That is awesome.

Lorraine Maita, MD

Yeah, you have to put the in front of it and institute at the back of it. Otherwise, feel good again. Seems to be used at other places but it’s thefeelgoodagaininstitute.com

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

I love that. Well, thank you so much for taking the time to speak with us today.

Lorraine Maita, MD

Well, thank you for inviting me. I want women to experience the pleasures and have their mojo back.

Betsy Greenleaf, DO, FACOOG (Distinguished)

That is great. So everybody stay tuned, stick around, and because we got more amazing sessions coming right up.