Is Going Slower Actually the Fastest Way to Heal?

Welcome and episode theme 0:00

Hey team, welcome back to the XMA Kids podcast. If you're listening today, feeling like healing is taking longer than you thought or hoped for or motherhood is just feeling a little heavier than usual or your body has been asking for you to slow down and you're not quite sure how to listen, you'd love to, but you just don't know how to make that happen. This episode is for you because today I'm sharing some personal lessons from 2025, not the highlight real version, but the real Lived one. This year reminded me that healing is absolutely real and that progress is happening all the time, even if it's slower than you want.

And slow is the pace that greatness grows, honest and true. It's the only way to get anywhere. And I'm reminded of that every single day. So maybe this stirs up some inspiration for you just to take a quick reflection. I know that you don't have the time for it. If you're here with me, you know, just think, maybe just in your notes app, like, oh, what did I learn this year? Do it while you're listening to this episode and let's get into it. Is your child struggling with itchy nights and endless flare ups?

I'm Andrea McHugh, mom of four and host of eczema kids. Here you'll find natural solutions that actually work so you can heal your child's eczema without steroids, without the overwhelm and finally see calm, healthy skin again. Let's get into it. So 2025 didn't teach me a lot of new. I mean I learn a lot every single day. Honestly I tell my kids all the time it's the best part of life and it's so fun working with you guys and working with my kids and you know just through the course of life you're honestly learning all day every day.

But this year really hammered in the lessons that I talk about for years about healing and motherhood and slowing down because This year I physically couldn't do it any other way and this year where there was a lot happening work and healing and family and my body made it very clear that none of it could be rushed and honestly this has been humbling and clarifying.

2025 lessons on healing and slowing down 1:58

He says it's against my nature. It's just not how I roll. But these are important lessons that I have to learn and I know that you need to be reminded of them too and maybe you're much better about living them through than me. But, you know, I had to realize that slow is not a setback. It's the path. I didn't choose to go slow this year. Slow shows me. Healing does not negotiate with timelines, and bodies do not care about to-do lists and plans or how motivated you are. I had an accident. I fainted.

I had COVID, and then I was trying to do stuff, and then I fell. I fainted and shattered my leg about exactly four months ago now, and I still walk with a limp now, and it's still painful every step I take. But I am walking and I am able to put on my own pants, right, without laying down. And that's a real milestone. Definitely celebrating that. And so everyone, even though it feels slow, like how can I seriously not be walking like a normal person at this point? that feels incredibly frustrating sometimes, but then other times I look back at I couldn't, you know, be vertical for more than five seconds without my leg feeling like it was gonna explode off and I couldn't sleep through the night without a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of pharmaceuticals and even then it still couldn't sleep.

So, you know, it's significantly better than where I was and I know in my conversations with you all, all the time, this comes up, like this isn't going as fast as you would like it to. And absolutely, we would like to fast forward the suffering phase. But when you look back, when you actually do look back at how your kids' skin was, A couple months ago, a couple weeks ago, it's night and day. It really is. Even if it's not 100% clear, even if, you know, maybe if their vitality doesn't feel 100% at this point, it's still significantly better than where you started.

And every week, you know, I'm reminding myself, I'm learning for myself, just right along with you. acknowledge the wins. Like this is your permission right now to acknowledge the wins. You know, we have this negative thinking bias, right? Like every single person does and our brain dwells on the negatives far more than celebrates the positive and it can change your entire state of mind, your entire experience of life if you focus on the wins, you know, just a little bit. And I understand the frustration too of like celebrating Okay, but my child still not well or okay, but we're still not sleeping through the night 100% of the time like that doesn't feel like a victory and I get it like Limping doesn't feel like a victory either.

But again Looking back it's completely different than it was and I'm so thankful for the progress that I have made and I know that you can feel the same too and Just as I go through life When I only look at where I'm not yet, I feel behind in every area of my life. But if I look at where I was, I'm sincerely shocked at how far I've come. It applies to everything. It applies to kids' healing eczema. It applies to calming a nervous system that's been on high alert for, I don't know. probably my whole life.

It applies to homeschool rhythms that finally feel supportive instead of stressful. It applies to growth of any kind that actually lasts because it's built with the intention to keep going.

Acknowledging progress and celebrating wins 5:43

So this is your permission slip to relax, to celebrate. have joy around a problem that may have been plaguing you for a really long time, because there is something to be acknowledged there. So do that. Parents, are you exhausted from battling your child's eczema? You've tried the prescriptions, the creams, the elimination diets, and the flares keep coming back. I'm Andrea McHugh, Mama Four and host of the eczema kids podcast. Two of my children suffered with severe eczema and I know the sleepless nights and the non-stop itching and the frustration of feeling like nothing works.

That's why I created this podcast to share what actually does from natural solutions that calm the skin to practical everyday tips that make healing actually possible. You'll find hope, clarity, and a path forward here. Follow eXimaKids wherever you get your podcasts and head to eXimaKids.com for free recipes and resources to start your child's healing journey today. Okay, lesson two, healing always happens. It does, just not on our preferred schedule. And this one feels especially important to say out loud, healing is not linear.

And I do say that out loud all the time because progress looks pretty boring at first before it looks impressive. like every signal of a disease still being there, it just means that repair is still happening. I am repairing very actively. My leg is still very hot. And to me that says, okay, there's still so much going on under there. The fracture isn't even all the way healed and it's busy. And the same is true for your child's skin and for a burnt out mom. And for a season that feels uncertain and for a season that feels uncertain.

And just because it doesn't look dramatic, it doesn't mean nothing is happening. Lesson three, doing less at one time is a skill. It's not a flaw. And I've learned this the hard way too. Binding off more than you can chew, it doesn't make you more capable, it makes you exhausted. And I'm the kind of person that can go for a really, really long time. If you've ever looked into human design, I'm a generator through and through, I can just keep going. And does it mean I don't get tired? It means like you can push through the tired and keep going.

And that's your body saying, yo, I really need a rest and oh my goodness you know and that's your body saying hey I really do need a rest and mature people say okay yes I will do that and you know right now my capacity has really changed and your capacity does change from season to season and year to year and sometimes month to month and one question I'm learning to ask more often is what can I actually hold well right now because I can do a lot of things But I can't do everything at once. And that's not giving up.

Healing happens, even when it feels slow 8:39

That's just acknowledging truth. So don't practice this perfectly. You can ask me. I still fail at it. But I was reminded a good bit this year that this is the case. So if there's anything that you can let go of, especially just this season so you can enjoy the holiday a little bit more with your favorite people, by all means do that. You're doing everything right. You've cleaned up the diet. You've swapped out the soaps. You put air filters in every room. Maybe even live on an organic farm. And still your child is scratching, bleeding, awake all night.

The flares won't stop and no one can tell you why. No parent should have to watch their child suffer, especially when you're already doing everything in your power to fix it. That's why I created the eczema kids podcast. I'm Andrea McHugh, mama for health coach and the founder of eczema kits. Two of my own children battled with relentless eczema and I know firsthand how heartbreaking and exhausting it is. Here we go beyond surface level fixes. You'll learn how to uncover hidden triggers. Prepare your child's gut and calm their skin from the inside out.

You'll hear the real stories of families who found freedom and insights from practitioners who are rewriting what's possible. Because eczema isn't just a skin condition, it's a message from the body. And when you listen, you can heal. So follow eczema kits wherever you get your podcasts and start your child's healing journey today. And you know, which leads me to lesson four, and that's supporting my kids is sincerely my favorite job as long as my fundamental needs are met. And that leads me to lesson four, supporting my kids is my 100% favorite job.

It's so fun to hang out with your kids if... I meditated that day. I genuinely love supporting my kids. They are the greatest joys. They are so fun. But if my basic needs aren't met, and like if I didn't get in 10 minutes of meditation that day, an hour, not perfection, just 10 minutes, I'm still kind and nice and everything. It's just, I really, really need that morning anchor. I really do. And there's a million studies out there that says that most people do, that if you spend 10 minutes choosing your intention for the day, I follow the miracle morning equation.

It's silence, which I do, you know, meditation and prayer affirmations, which you can do quietly or out loud. There's visualization, exercise, reading, and scribing. So the person that wrote that book, Hal Elrod, he's a motivational speaker. He does a whole bunch of things, but I feel like he really has it right. He looked up all the top things that the highest performers do in the morning, and he made a list and does each one.

Doing less at once and honoring capacity 11:24

So it's seven things. You can honestly do them in seven minutes and just do each one for 60 seconds. It makes a difference. It really, really, really does in every way, in every way that you show up. And I need to eat. I'm especially focused on protein right now. And since I broke my leg, I actually looked into how much protein am I actually eating in a day. And it wasn't a lot. It wasn't a lot. And because it's easy to do because to have like a real protein packed digestible meal, it takes a little bit to prepare and you have to have those things on hand.

So you have to make enough. He's like, you have to make enough for yourself too. Which again, all these, none of these I'm perfect at. My husband and I don't have lunch all the time because it's hard to actually make enough to buy enough. Like when you're at the store, my aunt who is stayed with us. She just says, you know, whenever I'm buying anything for your family, if I'm at the grocery store, I just think what is a reasonable amount and then I double it. She says, that's the right amount. It's like, that's true.

So it feels hard. It feels hard in every way, like actually getting that much volume, that actually getting that many groceries, paying for that many groceries and then preparing that many groceries. It's an undertaking. You have to save time for it. And point is, it's worth it. So feed yourself, meditate, so that motherhood doesn't feel heavy. So that it feels like the privilege that it sincerely is. Lesson five, and this isn't one I have worked through at all. I'm voicing it out loud, and if you're a listening husband, I'm sorry.

I forget my marriage when I'm being productive, and that's a lesson, and it's an honest one, and it's a goal. My husband and I probably need to spend more time together and everyone who's listening knows I'm running a house and a business and a job and the kids and everything that comes with that. All of these are monstrous privileges, but they're also all time sucks, right? And connection doesn't just happen on its own. It has to be intentional. And sometimes it has to be scheduled. So an intention for next year is at least a monthly date night next year.

That would be amazing. We're going to work toward that. Because we're still not in the phase of life where it can be weekly.

Supporting kids, self-care, and marriage 14:04

I'm sure you're the same way. Intention doesn't have to take a lot of time. I mean, it's like what you're doing every day for your kids. You're intentionally doing so much, and it doesn't consume your whole day. And we just have to do it for everyone in our household, right? And so I'm still being reminded of that. And when I look back on this year, there's a few things that I still need to remind myself of. And so that's one thing. When I look back on this year, it's one thing that I had to remind myself of.

And there's a few more things that I had to remind myself of. And one is, you're allowed to be changed by your going through this. If you're caring for somebody who's unwell or if you are unwell yourself, it changes you. You're not going to be the same person. That person doesn't exist anymore. And that's okay. It's not a loss. That's fantastic. It's evolvement. It's fantastic. You're evolving and becoming stronger and hopefully not in a jaded way, hopefully just in a more rounded out way. And that's exciting.

Number two is rest is still work even. I intellectually understand this and sometimes I treat rest like a reward instead of a requirement. We'll be better about that. And three, I know my body is on my side, even when I feel very slowed down. And even when it's forced into stillness, it's always protecting me. And your kid's potties are doing the same way. They're meant to be well. And that's what we're doing here. We're intentionally supporting them so that they can be. And for Joy, and love the things that you are doing.

I love homeschooling. I love being present. Like when I just get to just be a mom, that's so fun, right? And you can have as many of those moments as you want, as long as you're doing one thing at a time. One of the things I learned this year is really a reoccurring thing for me. I really, really need to get better about this. But these aren't the side projects. This is the work. This is the work. Be there. Even in the hard. You're learning. You're growing. Your kids are learning and growing. Your spouse is learning and growing.

It's going to bring you closer together. And you can make it through the hard and the sleepless nights and everything else when you know you've showed up for your family as hard as you possibly can. And hold tight to the belief that healing always happens, just not on our timeline. And that's not a detour. That's the road. And when I stop staring forward at everything that I'm not there yet and actually look back, I can really see how far I've already come. And as you're listening, I'm inviting you to look back on your last 12 months, six months, four months, and ask yourself, like, where am I much further than I actually think?

Our serotonin needs a little boost every now and then. You know, it really, really does. So before we wrap up, I want to say, if your child's skin is in that healing phase right now, your job isn't to rush it.

Looking back, resting, and trusting healing 17:18

Your job is to support it. And if you're looking for a simple, gentle way to do that, the Skin Comfort Trio is where I always recommend starting. It's designed to protect the skin barrier, calm irritation, and support the healing process without overwhelming already overwhelmed skin. You can find it at eczemakids.com. And it's the same routine I still use in our own home, even now that my kids' skin are healed and soft, because maintenance matters just as much as recovery. But it's also for preventative reasons, too.

It's just a way to nourish and cater to soft, moisturized, balanced skin. And healing happens. I promise, friends, it does. It just takes the time it takes. So thanks for being with me here today. And I look forward to speaking to you next week. Happy New Year's, friends. Take care. Thank you for helping with my eczema. Love you. Thank you for listening today, friend. I know healing your child's skin isn't easy, but you're doing it one smart step at a time. If this episode gave you a little hope or a better night's sleep, leave a quick review so more exhausted parents can find eczema kids and finally rest easy too.

Follow, share, and let's help more kids heal. Take care.