Full Transcript 0:04 My name is Jessie and before I became 0:04 My name is Jessie and before I became unwell, I was a barista at a local
Life Before Illness 0:07 unwell, I was a barista at a local 0:07 unwell, I was a barista at a local coffee shop. Well, there were parts of 0:09 coffee shop. Well, there were parts of 0:09 coffee shop. Well, there were parts of my life that are wonderful, but I was 0:11 my life that are wonderful, but I was 0:11 my life that are wonderful, but I was not a very happy person. I have three 0:14 not a very happy person. I have three 0:14 not a very happy person. I have three children and a wonderful husband and a 0:18 children and a wonderful husband and a 0:18 children and a wonderful husband and a cute little Pomeranian and a husky, but 0:21 cute little Pomeranian and a husky, but 0:21 cute little Pomeranian and a husky, but I just was had really a lot of trouble
Depression, Anxiety, and Alcohol Use 0:25 I just was had really a lot of trouble 0:25 I just was had really a lot of trouble with happiness. I was depressed and 0:28 with happiness. I was depressed and 0:28 with happiness. I was depressed and had an anxiety disorder that I didn't 0:29 had an anxiety disorder that I didn't 0:29 had an anxiety disorder that I didn't know I had and I was a really heavy 0:32 know I had and I was a really heavy 0:32 know I had and I was a really heavy drinker. 0:33 drinker. 0:33 drinker. Um just to kind of cope with life and 0:37 Um just to kind of cope with life and 0:37 Um just to kind of cope with life and cope with the anxiety. When my condition
Symptoms Worsen at Work 0:38 cope with the anxiety. When my condition 0:39 cope with the anxiety. When my condition started, I was very confused about the 0:41 started, I was very confused about the 0:41 started, I was very confused about the what was going on. Um my depression got 0:44 what was going on. Um my depression got 0:44 what was going on. Um my depression got worse, my anxiety got worse. I just was 0:46 worse, my anxiety got worse. I just was 0:46 worse, my anxiety got worse. I just was having trouble eating foods and not 0:48 having trouble eating foods and not 0:48 having trouble eating foods and not reacting. I was having trouble with my 0:51 reacting. I was having trouble with my 0:51 reacting. I was having trouble with my energy. 0:53 energy. 0:53 energy. I was having panic attacks at work. I 0:56 I was having panic attacks at work. I 0:56 I was having panic attacks at work. I had took a few ambulance rides to the ER 0:59 had took a few ambulance rides to the ER 0:59 had took a few ambulance rides to the ER because I just couldn't get out of the 1:02 because I just couldn't get out of the 1:02 because I just couldn't get out of the [clears throat] panic and just this 1:04 [clears throat] panic and just this 1:04 [clears throat] panic and just this depression that was really intense that 1:05 depression that was really intense that 1:05 depression that was really intense that just would not lift. 1:07 just would not lift. 1:07 just would not lift. And at its worst, I had to quit my job
Unable to Function at Home 1:11 And at its worst, I had to quit my job 1:11 And at its worst, I had to quit my job and could not get out of bed. I have 1:14 and could not get out of bed. I have 1:14 and could not get out of bed. I have three kids like I said and I just wasn't 1:16 three kids like I said and I just wasn't 1:16 three kids like I said and I just wasn't able to be there for them all all. 1:18 able to be there for them all all. 1:18 able to be there for them all all. I just would put on a mask when they 1:20 I just would put on a mask when they 1:20 I just would put on a mask when they were around and just do my best to 1:22 were around and just do my best to 1:22 were around and just do my best to pretend that, you know, mom's just sick, 1:24 pretend that, you know, mom's just sick, 1:24 pretend that, you know, mom's just sick, I'll get better, but 1:26 I'll get better, but 1:26 I'll get better, but um I wasn't getting 1:28 um I wasn't getting 1:28 um I wasn't getting better and I wasn't able to make my own 1:31 better and I wasn't able to make my own 1:31 better and I wasn't able to make my own meals or take a shower 1:34 meals or take a shower 1:34 meals or take a shower or walk around the block. Yeah, my life 1:36 or walk around the block. Yeah, my life 1:37 or walk around the block. Yeah, my life came to a screeching halt. I remember 1:39 came to a screeching halt. I remember 1:39 came to a screeching halt. I remember crying in the tub and my husband, my 1:42 crying in the tub and my husband, my 1:42 crying in the tub and my husband, my wonderful husband just washing my hair. 1:46 wonderful husband just washing my hair. 1:46 wonderful husband just washing my hair. >> [sighs and gasps] 1:47 >> [sighs and gasps] 1:47 >> [sighs and gasps] >> Um I remember
Searching for a Diagnosis 1:50 >> Um I remember 1:50 >> Um I remember just praying, God, I just want to get 1:54 just praying, God, I just want to get 1:54 just praying, God, I just want to get out of bed and I want to play with my 1:56 out of bed and I want to play with my 1:56 out of bed and I want to play with my 7-year-old in the yard like I used to. 1:59 7-year-old in the yard like I used to. 1:59 7-year-old in the yard like I used to. I want to run around with the dog. I 2:01 I want to run around with the dog. I 2:01 I want to run around with the dog. I want to just What do I have to do? Like 2:04 want to just What do I have to do? Like 2:04 want to just What do I have to do? Like what is wrong with me? The doctors were 2:06 what is wrong with me? The doctors were 2:06 what is wrong with me? The doctors were pretty confused 2:09 pretty confused 2:09 pretty confused and a lot of like, are you sure it's not 2:11 and a lot of like, are you sure it's not 2:11 and a lot of like, are you sure it's not just anxiety or are you sure you're not 2:13 just anxiety or are you sure you're not 2:13 just anxiety or are you sure you're not just bipolar or are you sure this is not 2:15 just bipolar or are you sure this is not 2:15 just bipolar or are you sure this is not just a mood disorder? So actually I went 2:17 just a mood disorder? So actually I went 2:17 just a mood disorder? So actually I went to the Amen Clinic in Atlanta, Georgia 2:20 to the Amen Clinic in Atlanta, Georgia 2:20 to the Amen Clinic in Atlanta, Georgia and got a brain scan. 2:21 and got a brain scan. 2:21 and got a brain scan. Five grands later, 2:23 Five grands later, 2:24 Five grands later, um they were like, you have PTSD. And
Brain Scan and New Answers 2:26 um they were like, you have PTSD. And 2:26 um they were like, you have PTSD. And I'm like, what? I PTSD? That was not on 2:29 I'm like, what? I PTSD? That was not on 2:29 I'm like, what? I PTSD? That was not on my radar. So I had a wonderful 2:31 my radar. So I had a wonderful 2:31 my radar. So I had a wonderful psychiatrist and she said, you know, I 2:33 psychiatrist and she said, you know, I 2:33 psychiatrist and she said, you know, I think maybe not just the PTSD and not 2:36 think maybe not just the PTSD and not 2:36 think maybe not just the PTSD and not just ADHD. I think you may have some 2:40 just ADHD. I think you may have some 2:40 just ADHD. I think you may have some sensitivities due to maybe mold um that 2:43 sensitivities due to maybe mold um that 2:43 sensitivities due to maybe mold um that you've been exposed to. And she was 2:45 you've been exposed to. And she was 2:45 you've been exposed to. And she was right. And then the next doctor was 2:47 right. And then the next doctor was 2:47 right. And then the next doctor was found out that I had Lyme disease cuz 2:49 found out that I had Lyme disease cuz 2:49 found out that I had Lyme disease cuz now we're like, okay, we're on a roll 2:50 now we're like, okay, we're on a roll 2:50 now we're like, okay, we're on a roll now. And so
Treatment and Early Recovery 2:52 now. And so 2:53 now. And so uh I started the gifted program 2:55 uh I started the gifted program 2:55 uh I started the gifted program and 2:57 and 2:57 and my life totally started to change. 3:00 my life totally started to change. 3:00 my life totally started to change. Just within the first week, I remember 3:02 Just within the first week, I remember 3:02 Just within the first week, I remember sitting outside 3:03 sitting outside 3:03 sitting outside and doing a meditation with Moon Title 3:06 and doing a meditation with Moon Title 3:06 and doing a meditation with Moon Title and it was the meditation called 3:07 and it was the meditation called 3:07 and it was the meditation called Breathing with the Trees. 3:09 Breathing with the Trees. 3:09 Breathing with the Trees. And I just was sitting in the yard, it 3:11 And I just was sitting in the yard, it 3:11 And I just was sitting in the yard, it was the morning and the sun was coming 3:12 was the morning and the sun was coming 3:13 was the morning and the sun was coming up and it was uh fall and I could feel 3:16 up and it was uh fall and I could feel 3:16 up and it was uh fall and I could feel the breeze and I could hear the trees 3:18 the breeze and I could hear the trees 3:18 the breeze and I could hear the trees and I never slowed down long enough to 3:20 and I never slowed down long enough to 3:20 and I never slowed down long enough to actually notice that stuff. I never I 3:22 actually notice that stuff. I never I 3:22 actually notice that stuff. I never I just I just started crying. I was like, 3:25 just I just started crying. I was like, 3:25 just I just started crying. I was like, I'm so focused on my body. I'm so 3:27 I'm so focused on my body. I'm so 3:27 I'm so focused on my body. I'm so focused and I'm so up here in my head 3:30 focused and I'm so up here in my head 3:30 focused and I'm so up here in my head that I'm not even seeing any of the 3:31 that I'm not even seeing any of the 3:31 that I'm not even seeing any of the beauty 3:33 beauty 3:33 beauty around me and like I think this is the 3:35 around me and like I think this is the 3:35 around me and like I think this is the key. I started to discover that I could 3:37 key. I started to discover that I could 3:38 key. I started to discover that I could start to do things on my own again or 3:40 start to do things on my own again or 3:40 start to do things on my own again or supplements that my doctor wanted me to 3:42 supplements that my doctor wanted me to 3:42 supplements that my doctor wanted me to take that I was not able to onboard at 3:43 take that I was not able to onboard at 3:43 take that I was not able to onboard at all. I started to see I can take these 3:47 all. I started to see I can take these 3:47 all. I started to see I can take these now. Um or I can eat. I remember when I
Regaining Daily Life 3:50 now. Um or I can eat. I remember when I 3:50 now. Um or I can eat. I remember when I could eat raspberries again 3:52 could eat raspberries again 3:52 could eat raspberries again and just being [clears throat] like 3:54 and just being [clears throat] like 3:55 and just being [clears throat] like these taste so amazing. 3:58 these taste so amazing. 3:58 these taste so amazing. And then I had a piece of gluten-free 4:00 And then I had a piece of gluten-free 4:00 And then I had a piece of gluten-free bread a couple months ago and I was 4:01 bread a couple months ago and I was 4:01 bread a couple months ago and I was like, oh my god, this is incredible. 4:04 like, oh my god, this is incredible. 4:04 like, oh my god, this is incredible. Food, I can eat food again cuz I'd gone 4:07 Food, I can eat food again cuz I'd gone 4:07 Food, I can eat food again cuz I'd gone down to such 4:08 down to such 4:08 down to such I mean like 20 foods. 4:10 I mean like 20 foods. 4:10 I mean like 20 foods. I remember I could stand up in the 4:12 I remember I could stand up in the 4:12 I remember I could stand up in the shower again and wash my hair 4:15 shower again and wash my hair 4:15 shower again and wash my hair wash my own hair, wash my own body. 4:18 wash my own hair, wash my own body. 4:18 wash my own hair, wash my own body. And as these things started to come 4:19 And as these things started to come 4:19 And as these things started to come back, you just appreciate them more. 4:23 back, you just appreciate them more. 4:23 back, you just appreciate them more. Like I remember when I could walk around 4:25 Like I remember when I could walk around 4:25 Like I remember when I could walk around the block again with the dogs. It was 4:27 the block again with the dogs. It was 4:27 the block again with the dogs. It was just like victory. We
Milestones and Hope 4:30 just like victory. We 4:30 just like victory. We uh stayed in a cabin in the Smokies last 4:33 uh stayed in a cabin in the Smokies last 4:33 uh stayed in a cabin in the Smokies last week and I was able to do a trail 4:36 week and I was able to do a trail 4:36 week and I was able to do a trail which is a really big deal with some 4:38 which is a really big deal with some 4:38 which is a really big deal with some friends that I invited which I 4:42 friends that I invited which I 4:42 friends that I invited which I again it's just a huge 4:44 again it's just a huge 4:44 again it's just a huge victory for me cuz I just did not think 4:46 victory for me cuz I just did not think 4:46 victory for me cuz I just did not think that it was possible at the beginning of 4:48 that it was possible at the beginning of 4:48 that it was possible at the beginning of this journey.
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