Let Them Fly: Why ADHD Kids Don’t Belong in a Box with Nancy Disbrow

Introduction and guest welcome 0:00

25% of CEOs have ADHD. Wow, that's a great statistic. Yeah. 40% of self-made millionaires are dyslexic. So these brains are amazing when you get to the, I'd say the top, but like in these more like strategic, bigger roles, right? Because that's how our brains, that's when we thrive. We can be creative and we can like build and develop and lead and we're charismatic and all these good things that actually like you need when you're a leader. This is Dr. Talks. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the podcast.

I'm your host, Laurie Hammer, and today I am so excited about this interview because we kind of started it yesterday. I was on the Dyslexic Maverick podcast, and you really need to follow the Dyslexic Maverick podcast with Nancy Disbrow. She's amazing and she's on my podcast today. So we're kind of like having this continuing conversation and I'm so excited to find out like what's going to come out of this relationship because we're going to do some really cool stuff for all of you. So be watching for that in the future.

But Nancy is, like I said, the podcast host of The Dyslexic Maverick. She is also an ADHD coach. And her work is absolutely amazing. So please go check her out. All of her information will be here in the show notes. So don't miss any of that. So Nancy, welcome to the podcast. Thank you. Thank you for having me. And I'm so excited to continue the conversation. I know you were just saying that you were telling your husband about this, and I'm like, yay, we're just going to have so much fun again today.

So many things to talk about as moms, with our kids that have ADHD as well, and kind of beyond that. It's more than just tactics and tricks. It's all about nutrition. It's all about deficiencies and so many more things.

Nancy's background and discovering dyslexia 2:00

So I would love to hear your story. How did you come to be in this space? Yeah, so I felt like my story was like one in a million until everyone I talked to has the very, very similar story, right? Um, so you always feel like you're like alone and then you realize, oh my gosh, you're not, I'm definitely not. No. Um, so I, I grew up, I'm, I'm live in Toledo, Ohio, suburb of, um, grew up really struggling in school, but honestly, so did my father. Um, so we just kind of like, it was always said in our family that we just have to work twice as hard as everyone else.

Uh, and so we did. And quite honestly, it wasn't the worst mantra ever, right? Like it maybe wasn't the best mantra ever. Um, not by, you know, because they were trying to not be great, but, um, it certainly led to like, some confusion because I would always know growing up that I worked, I did work twice as hard as everyone else. And so because there was no like explanation for it, I was like, well, I just must not be as smart as everyone else. Like there's like that, that's the correlation. I think.

Sure. Right. Like that was what you told yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Um, and really nobody could like dispute that. Just the way it was. And you know, my father was a successful business owner. My grandfather was a successful like entrepreneur and created and patented things or should have patented things. My father actually did patent things. Yeah, and holds multiple US patents. And so, as much as I knew that, like, it kind of was harder growing up and not just having to work harder, it also, like, wasn't the, like, the end result wasn't awful, right?

Like I saw multiple people that it worked out for too. And so I just kept doing it, honestly. And so, you know, after college I went into the Air Force and long story short, I had a daughter. We hit the magic age of seven years old. So we're in second grade. It's where most dyslexics, it all falls apart. because you go from learning to read, which dyslexic people are smart, right? It's not that we have a lower IQ. It's just that the brain wiring's different, so we don't process language the same way and using the same parts of our brain.

And so we go from learning to read in second grade to reading to learn. And so now we not only have to read the words, we have to retain them and put it together and make it make sense. And that's usually where it starts to fall apart. Second, third grade. And so my daughter, having the exact same struggles as me, what do I do but tell her the same mantra that I've always heard? We just have to work twice as hard, sweetie. That's just how we're built. And I'm successful in my career. I'm a director of HR at this point.

So again, she seems like the positive outcomes. Luckily, a teacher pulled me aside and said, I think you would need to get her tested. And I said, oh, you don't understand. our family, we just have to work twice as hard as everyone else. And she's like, I don't think so. And she's like, I think, and I'm like, I don't, I wouldn't know what to get her tested for, like besides hard work, right? And so she, she thankfully led us down the right path and did it very quietly. It was not something that she could say as a teacher.

So I always like to put that in there, that like, you would hope that teachers would be able to tell parents and pull them aside and say, like, look, I'm seeing this. And we're in a very nice school district. It's a well-funded school district. And yet she was not allowed to say that as a teacher. She said that she could have potentially even lost her job if they would have done. I mean, there's lots of reasons, but I think most. So interestingly enough, she came from a district that wasn't our own.

Like she had moved from out of state where they did not kind of have the same beliefs, right? Like they taught reading in a different way. Ohio specifically is probably one of the worst for reading education. Honestly, it is some of the worst reading programs have been developed here. And so we're really stuck on these awful reading programs. I don't usually go that far and say that, but it is truly, it's the truth. And so it's disappointing if you actually understand how kids are taught to read these days.

It's guessing, it's looking at pictures, it's making an educated guess based on the other words and sentence. It's kind of, it's scary. But long story short, we went through this whole process. She kind of quietly guided us along in the background.

Helping her daughter and understanding neurodiversity 7:00

And we found out my daughter is dyslexic. She has ADHD. She has dyscalculia, which is like the math dyslexia. So she doesn't see numbers in a number line like most of us would. And so, and she was starting to show signs of anxiety at the age of seven. And my daughter is not an anxious kiddo by nature. Like she is free spirited, go get them. Like, I mean, just nothing really like bothers her. So that was not like a normal. Yeah. Behavior for her. Yeah. And so it was in this neuropsych readback appointment and we're all kind of sitting there and I'm listening to all this information and him describe the challenges she's having and I'm literally looking at my husband and thinking like, are they talking about me or her?

And it was, and he was like, I don't know. It sounds like both of you. And it was, yeah. I mean, that, that's exactly what it was. And these, these light bulbs started to go off, right? Like at first I went into mom mode. I went like full on Google, like, how do we help her? Right? Like what tutors do we need? Um, like, what is this? How do we, and I was really passionate about like explaining to her, um, that her brain isn't broken. It's just wired differently. Like, she just sees the world a little bit differently.

And the more I learn, the more I was like, oh my gosh, and it's a good thing. Like, it really is a good thing. But it doesn't feel like that in school. Like, the first 18 years as a dyslexic are pretty tough. Right, because you're not learning in your learning style. You're learning in this box that isn't fit to you. Exactly. It's round peg and square hold like literally 18 hours a day, right? And then most of us have ADHD as well, right? Like at least half. And so you've got that to contend with too.

ADHD looks different in girls and boys. So you've got the girl ADHD piece of like we're mentally hyperactive more than we're physically hyperactive. And so teachers are like, well, she's just daydreamy or She just loses focus sometimes. Like, no, there's like an actual thing. So anyway, so long story short, we get her all the help. I keep diving in. I did well in my corporate career, but I wanted to be an entrepreneur. And so I left corporate not really knowing what the next step was, but I just knew that there was something out there for me.

I just didn't know. what it was yet. And about six months in, it hit me that I was literally the HR leader that could have helped all of these other differently wired brains and organizations. And I was so successful in my career because of my dyslexic ADHD brain, not in spite of. For the first 35 years of my life, I felt like I was trying to prove to everybody that I was a smart and I would just have to do extra to prove that. And then it hit me that I just see the world differently and in a very good way.

So, I've really taken on just a passion of educating leaders and executives and HR leaders about these wonderful brains and organizations that if you tap into these and let them play outside of the normal box, it is the best thing for your business, it's the best thing for people, it's the best thing for everybody in the organization and out. That's really where my passion started from. Coaching wasn't even a part of the original plan, but I started working, I started to do talks and just get the word out there.

And then people come up to me and be like, can you help me? And I'm like, I don't know, but I can try. And it just kind of evolved from there. It's by far my most favorite part of everything I do is the coaching for sure. And it's really kind of where my business has taken off for good reason. Yeah, for sure. Well, because you've not only been there with yourself, you've seen your dad do it. You've been through your daughter. And so what do you say to that mom? Because so many moms are defeated by the diagnosis.

It stresses them out so much. There's something wrong with their child. Or they're like, there's nothing wrong with her. Now they have the diagnosis. She's going to be labeled for this forever and ever and ever. And people are going to treat her differently. There's so many different components to this, what do you say to the mamas out there? Your brain runs the show, so don't let toxins run it ragged. God designed our bodies to heal when we remove the interference and zeo charge from zeolite labs helps me do just that this detox magnet targets heavy metals, mold, and other toxins while sparing your essential minerals.

It is clean, third-party tested, and so easy to use. So I want you to take back your brain today with ZeoCharge. Get it now at zeolitelabs.com. That is z-e-o-l-i-t-e labs.com. A few things. So one, You will have to work harder than you ever thought you'd have to work to get your child the services that they need in school. And it really doesn't matter what type of school it is, honestly. You have to fight harder than you ever thought you would to get your kiddo the help that they need. Don't stop.

Follow your mom gut a thousand percent, right? They'll tell you that they're going to catch up soon, or it just takes some kids a little bit longer. Dyslexia is very, very genetic. So if mom or dad struggled with reading and writing or grammar in school, there's a really good chance that they're just not diagnosed, but it's genetic, right? So definitely, if that's involved in the situation, do not give up.

Parenting strategies, confidence, and finding strengths 13:00

Just keep pushing on until you get the answers that you're really comfortable with. Also, when somebody says that their child just got diagnosed with dyslexia or ADHD, I literally, I do it kind of on purpose, but I get so excited. I'm like, congratulations. And they're like, oh, what do you want? Right? What's wrong with you? Yeah. What supplements are you taking? But it truly is a gift if you can harness it in the right way and let the brain be free, and all of the things that come with that, right?

So I always tell parents, the most important thing is for the kids, we just need to get them their confidence intact by the time that they graduate high school, right? So school is going to be harder for them. There is no question. There's no sugar coating that. They're going to have to work harder than most kiddos. That's also a good thing. When I got into the work world, I was already ready to work twice as hard. I've done it in everything that I do. So when I got into my first corporate job, they were like, wow, you work really hard.

And I was like, no, this is just what I do. This is natural, right? So as tough as it is to see those kiddos struggling, and it is. I know every mom wants to jump in and save the day. It's heartbreaking to watch, but most kids are better off for it at the end of the day if they still have that parent guiding them and their confidence intact. It's that. It's also just in making sure that they have something in their life that they're really, really good at. It's probably not going to be a reading club or something academic-wise, but it could be.

Which is OK. And also, they're going to have to read for school. But it's OK if they don't love reading themselves to sleep every night, right? Yeah, it's totally fine. Yeah. Yeah. But if it's a sports or music or LEGOs or one of my favorites. So my son, also dyslexic and ADHD, loves. We will go on Facebook Marketplace and buy him an old engine. This broke it for like $25, right? and he'll tear it apart and try to fix it. It's the best thing for him because dyslexics are generally very mechanical.

And so he loves to just use my husband's tools and break it apart and try to rebuild a carburetor and do all these things. And he's learning in the process, but he's He's, he's doing what his brain wants to do. So finding those like little things that, that people like really are good at, I think, um, for a child is so, so important because they're going to have so many hard days, right? But if they have like some place where they feel really good about their themselves, it will make all the difference.

Yeah. And I'm going to go in a direction with that because I think it needs to be talked about as a whole. So they shouldn't have to have all those hard days in school. Right. So I mean, one of the reasons we homeschool is just what you're talking about. Right. So that they could do what they love and learn in that way that they know how to learn. Because my son learned very different than my daughter. Very different. You know, she's like, she had a couple concussions. And so I think she had the brain injury on top of that, but that would make that kind of, she's not dyslexic, but kind of tending down that pathway and that not being able to comprehend and all those kinds of things.

So she learns very, very different. And it wasn't until we got her passion under like, Like, this is her passion. Horses are her passion. Like, once we got that, it was like six months later after we got her her own horse and she started working them. Like, then she started reading. Like, then it was like something that she could sit down and like actually enjoy. But only if she chose that specific thing, right? If we're reading, you know, anatomy, I still had to read it to her. You know, and then she gets apprehended and we could talk through it and we could do all those things.

But when we put these kids in a very structured school situation, they're going to have those hard days. And I don't know why we feel like they just have to like. but no cells through it like who told us that was a good idea because for me school was super easy like my son school is super easy and so like I didn't really have to work that hard for it and like he remembers everything he's got like a photographic memory but you know then you take my daughter and she's like If I can make a recipe and add fractions, that's a really good day.

Why would we force them to go through Algebra 2 when I can put her out in her horse area and she'll build you something that no other kid knows how to build and I didn't have to tell her how to do it? You know what I mean? You totally know what I mean. Why do we do that to our kids? Why do we have this educational system set up? to where, you know, your son and your daughter, they're gonna have these bad days. And so you give them this outlet, which is beautiful, but why not have that outlet all the time?

Oh my gosh, right. And just even like if a child does have to be in like a more of a structured school like day, even having more breaks. So my younger, my son goes to a classical academy. They have two recesses a day, even in fifth grade. And then they have gym. So he's got three breaks to move his body. Yeah. Yeah, why don't we do that for our high schoolers? Right. Absolutely. And I think the kindergarten, the K through three maybe even has like four, right? You need to move your body. Yes. I mean, there's so much brain science around that, right?

Like the more you move your body, like the more you retain information, you need breaks in between to like let it absorb and process it. Like all these things we know, and sometimes we know more in the work world, but we don't even like put them back into the education side. And I think education, thankfully, is being looked at harder now, right? And there are more options now, and homeschooling is so much, I feel like it's easier. I don't do it, so I don't want to speak for anybody else, but it feels like it's less.

uh maybe like less of a barrier to get into now with with all definitely a lot less barrier it's more acceptable people don't think you're weird because you're home school now it's it's like a thing so yeah and there's hybrid options right so there's like yeah you know like even my son we're thinking like is there is there a hybrid that's better for him because he can do his thing in a couple days a week and then you know followed the traditional model a couple days a week. So yeah, there's so many more options.

And I just think people just need to know about that, right? Like it wasn't until things got really kind of bad in our school district that I even started to like look. And so I think just more conversations like the ones that we're having today is important too, because there are so many options and there's an option

School options, homeschooling, and learning differences 20:00

for each kiddo. They don't all cost money, right? They're not all tuition based. Our classical one is not. So yeah, it's great. And we have one child in Catholic school, we have one child in public, and then one child in classical. So there you go. We see it all. Yeah. And it's beautiful that you have the opportunity to do that. And there's so many more options out there now than there were before. So, so good. So question, when you're taking all this learning style into the corporate world, so we're kind of shift from kids to moms here.

Like, we're kind of taking sometimes, you know, you're broken or your brain doesn't work the same. You have to work so much harder. You're taking that into the corporate world. And when I look at entrepreneurs or I see them, you know, when I practice myself even, like, We tell ourselves so many lies that aren't true because we don't fit into that mold. And so in the corporate world, what were you seeing? Because you have that aha moment to be like, I can go back and help these people now. And like you and I were talking yesterday, I was talking, we just got to fix some deficiencies.

We're not changing their personality. We're not fixing anything. We're just giving their brain what it needs. And then they can even be more productive and more genius and more everything because you said, you know, Dyslexia is genetic, and so I can't give you a supplement to fix that, right? But we can if somebody rabbit trails all the time. There is some supplementation that that can help. But like, what are you seeing in the corporate world where we could kind of change the the mantra about it or changed how people look at others who have that ADHD, that dyslexia, that kind of driven attitude, because we as women, a lot of times, are viewed as not very good names when we have those things.

Yeah. Oh my gosh, it really isn't. I'll try to stick with the good ones, right? But like too much or a lot or a little too much attitude, right? Or very convicted. Like it's all of these, like they're just very condescending, right? And so it's tough. And even, so what's interesting is that CEOs are, 25% of CEOs have ADHD. Wow, that's a great statistic. Yeah, and 40% of self-made millionaires are dyslexic. So these brains are amazing when you get to the, I'd say the top, but like in these more like strategic, bigger roles, right?

Because that's how our brains, that's when we thrive. We can be creative and we can like... Right. build and develop and lead and we're charismatic and all these good things that actually like you need when you're a leader, the challenge is at the beginning, right? So like when you're like a 20 and a 30 something year old and you're building your way up and going out the ladder, it's really hard and you In some companies, you have to play back. You can't be you. And I don't love that as a solution, right?

Much like I don't like my kids going to a school that doesn't work for them. But that's the reality of it, right? I feel like I'm pretty realistic on how companies want people to show up versus their natural self. And hey, there's lots of great leaders out there that want people to show up as their authentic self every day. But for the most part, even leaders that say that will still, I still will hear like, yeah, but she just needs to slow down. Or he can't move that fast for my team. My team can't keep up with that.

Or they just have too many ideas and we can't execute. And it's like, whoa, okay. Maybe we can reframe that, right? Like, yes, you have a lot of ideas. maybe we can table some of them or put them on a Sunday list, but we need to tackle the important ones. A lot of times too, and I find this with senior leaders, they're always in brainstorming mode. So they are a challenge to work for. Like, again, I mean, it is not easy. I'm not easy to work for either. I'm not either. My assistant is like, wow, that's a lot of ideas.

Exactly. Yeah. And so it's a challenge. I mean, one picture, it always comes to mind. So you picture a CEO getting up from a meeting and walking to the restroom and he stops for some coffee. And in that three to four minute period, he's probably told 13 ideas to six different people, right? And because he's a CEO or a senior leader, All six of those people think that it's their job to go out and execute on those 13 ideas. So they run back to their office. They start working many times on the same projects because he hasn't realized that he's telling and he didn't intend for them to.

do it, right? Like he was just talking through it out loud. And it causes so much dysfunction in teams, right? Because then senior leaders come together and like, my person was working on that, and your person's working on that, and what are we doing, and we're wasting time, or whatever it is. And so like really just getting clear on what that looks like I think is important, and having the vocabulary to talk about it. Right? Like, so just saying, like, hey, I have tons of great ideas, but before you go take action on one of those, will you just check with me and make sure that that's actually an action item for you and I'm not just in a brainstorming mode?

Right. So designate that parameter. Yeah, yeah, they just, they need guardrails. Like it doesn't matter that he or she's a CEO, right? Like they need guardrails and tighter ones usually than others because of their position and status.

Neurodiversity in the workplace and leadership 26:00

And so it's just, it's interesting. It's also, some of like the best leadership work, right? Like it's just part of good leadership. And it doesn't cost money. It's just literally reframing and giving the vocabulary and the tools to everybody on the team. The one thing I see is like trying to fix the one person and you don't, first of all, we don't want to fix people, right? Like you probably, we need to fix brain chemistry, but like- Yeah, we want to fix deficiencies. We don't want to fix your, yeah.

And whatever comes out of that, that's who you are. Yeah. exactly yeah we're just trying to like strip you're trying to like strip away the the cloud always let's strip away the noise the cloud and then yeah what's left after that yeah exactly like you you just want to uncover the goodness yeah but we're not trying to like fix people but but even even so like i see sometimes like well you just need to coach this one person that's like well We're not gonna change, I can't change brain wiring, right?

But we can help the whole team understand each person's brain structure and how they think and how they challenge each other a little bit differently. And so it's fun when you can get the whole team together to really kind of support each other, because it's never just one person, right? It's always a dynamic. Yeah. So are you doing like personality testing? Are you running them through specific things to determine how to navigate these teams? So I do have access to different like behavioral testing.

Yeah. And there's one that I love. It's called the zookeeper and it's, it's, it follows a disc model, but it's four different animals. And it just makes it a little bit more fun. Yeah, exactly. So I'm definitely like the lemur. I like to jump around and I'm very talkative and all the things, but I have a little bit of lion in me, so I don't mind taking charge. And yeah, so it's fun. Also just with my HR background, like there's, I mean, most HR leaders are kind of coaches, right? Like half the time too.

Yeah, so a lot of what I used to do still comes into play as far as coaching and dynamics and even organizational structure too. It really helps to understand who's in what position and their strengths behaviorally, but then like what are you asking them to do and is that really aligned with what they're good at doing? so many times we have job descriptions and we just ask people to like again fit in the round peg in the square hole because that's the job description we made 10 years ago and that's like it's not even what the company needs half the time right it's just the piece of paper that was created 10 years ago and so really like digging through and saying like what do you need as for this position and what does the person need and who are the other people in the team how can we make this work for everybody Right.

Well, that sounds a lot less stressful and more productive and empowering and better outcomes. Yeah. And everybody wins, right? Everybody wins. Yeah. And what if we did that in our families? Oh my gosh. Yes. Yeah. So, I mean, my husband and I do it all the time. Like, there's so many roles that are probably like the typical wife role that he is so much better at, right? He plans every vacation. He plans every dinner. I mean, if it was left up to me, we would eat out and we would eat fast food every single night because I wouldn't know what we're eating until 5 45 and it would be too late to start dinner.

And we might not even go on vacation. I don't know. I don't know how that would turn out, but probably not well either. So there's like, I'm, I'm not, you know, traditionally good. My brain doesn't love planning, right? Like the ADHD side of me is like excitement. All day, every day, last minute is the only way I work. Thankfully, he's not geared like that, right? So it's like our internal family team. Yeah. Yeah. And him understanding my ADHD brain of like, I literally didn't mean to, oh gosh, I mean, there's so many things I do.

Leave the lights on, forget to lock the door, forget to leave the garage door, put the garage door down. I mean, he has completely ADHD-proofed our house for all of the things that used to drive him nuts. Just one by one, they'd drive him nuts and he'd find a technology solution for it. Oh, that's great. I need my husband to talk to your husband. You're like, why do you need to line up so much? I don't know. Why is the window open and the air on? Feels good. I don't know. I want to get some fresh air.

Exactly. Exactly. Because it doesn't bother me, but it bothers you. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah. Everybody is so different. And I think if we actually sat down and said, like, my husband's the planner as well, you know, writes everything down in a notebook. He's not techie. Everything is in a notebook. Everything, you know, he's probably got all the notebooks he's ever had in his entire life about, you know, everything he's ever spent, everything's labeled, you know, all those kind of things.

And I'm like, you know, don't balance my checkbook. I'm like, there's money in there. I know I'm good, kind of thing. Yeah, nothing bounced. I'm good. Nothing bounced, but we're good to go. He's like, Lori, you can't like do business that way. I'm like, no, I'm trying. I am trying a lot harder now. But like, it just didn't matter to me. And so, you know, our personality differences, if once we understand not even just our learning styles, but just our personality differences and what's important and what's not important, I just don't think we communicate.

enough and to be okay with those things. I was just talking with a mom and when she's coming off her medications, we're just kind of in a little run at the moment and she was upset about her kids. And so it wasn't really about the medication issue, it was about how she was responding to her kids. That was the hardest thing this past week because she doesn't want just feel irritated by them, you know, because the six-year-old, you know, went to church with two different shoes and, you know, this and that.

And so just kind of talking through those things, like, that's okay. They're having fun. They're like, hey, wonder what would happen if I had a boot and a flip-flop on, you know? What's that going to feel like?" And then they walked out the door like that. And it's a little boy. And so it's totally different than a little girl who wants to make sure that she's got everything put together most of the time. And just being okay with all of that, with grace and love, I think is so important. It is. I think also just understanding that I'm not doing things intentionally to make him mad.

Right. I would love to not make him mad or not frustrate him. And so it's not intentional and he doesn't do things intentionally for me either, but truly we see the world very, very differently,

Team dynamics, family systems, and ADHD support 33:00

right? And so it's like, okay, like giving a little bit of grace and space in that and with our kids too, right? Like I think every kid wakes up every morning and none of them think like I'm going to make my parents' life absolutely. No, they don't wake up thinking that. Yeah, I want to be a pilot today. Nobody wakes up thinking that. Never, or they want to get in trouble. It is not that. I will say, though, ADHD spouses, speaking from lived experience, we're tough. If there is no chaos in our life, we generally create it, which, I mean, it's not the best quality to be married to sometimes, right?

Right, right. It's challenging. It's like, gosh, everything was humming along, and then I It's not conscious, it's subconscious, but we literally just throw a wrench in things just because, or we'll just try to throw one extra errand in, and then we're late, and then we, you know, it's just all these little, or everything's going okay, and then we pick a fight because it got too boring. Right, so you need that dopamine hit. It really is, and so again, if the spouse knows that, it's like, oh, here it comes, I'm not gonna play into this.

Right. And to point it out to you in love, like, hey, maybe. Maybe this wasn't the best idea. I appreciate you." And, you know, and I think we learn through that and we're like, can catch ourselves when we're doing those things. I think as entrepreneurs, we kind of do that too. We're like scooting, scooting along. It's going great. Maybe I should go on vacation right now, or maybe I should start this new project while this other one is still launching. That's a great idea. No, it's not a great idea.

And you need people in our lives to tell us, don't do that. A hundred percent that I think that that's the most challenging as an ADHD owner, um, business owner. I think having somebody, and I do, I have actually probably multiple people that like before I start anything new, I have to run it. Well, I have to sleep on it for 24 hours. And then if I'm still excited about it, then I have to run it through at least one person, if not two, depending on how big of a decision it does that. before I commit to it, because one, everything sounds exciting in the moment.

I would sign up for everything. And then I get super angry later, because it's actually a lot of work, even though I signed up for it. What did I do there? I was like, I don't have time for this. I'm in four coaching programs right now. Yeah, it was a great idea until it's not. Yeah, exactly. And then another gut check of like, is this what's best for your business right now? And one of the most helpful things I have is like a Sunday list, right? So like, I love to write a book that is not in the cards right now, right?

Like I have too many other things to do. But it's on my Sunday. I feel better knowing that it's on a list somewhere that I can come back to. Oh man, I love that so much. So is there anything you want to leave the listeners with? I love this conversation. It's been so much fun. You know, the one thing that popped into my head when we were talking about children, and I just feel like I have to say this, with kids with ADHD, Um, and I do think it's kind of a weird world with ADHD right now because there are so many environmental factors with ADHD that can't like, I mean, I think some kids are just, if there's a genetic history, there's a genetic history, right?

Like you can trace that back, but then there's a lot of environmental factors that so much diet, exercise, everything you're doing with amino acids and diet and functional medicine. Like there is so much help out there for sure. Um, The one thing to always, and this was a game changer for me as a parent, because I have two children, both have ADHD, but they present very, very differently. And ADHD kiddos, their frontal lobe, the CEO of their brain, develops 30% slower than normal neurotypical kids, right?

And it doesn't catch up until, it does catch up. Good news is it catches up not until age 26. Right. So it is a long haul. So if you've got a six-year-old and a nine-year-old and the nine-year-old has ADHD, you can only expect them to get to the bus stop on time and have their teeth brushed and they're through both shoes, right? Right. Right. You know, the expectation of the nine-year-old is really at more of a six-year-old level. And I think, especially when you have multiple kiddos and some have ADHD and some don't, understanding that and knowing that they're doing the best they can and their brain just isn't as developed in some ways as others is really important.

That kind of changed the game for me. I lowered my expectations and just added more support to the kids that needed that. which is key and then we were just talking about the nutrition component because those are things that we can work on, right? And so if a brain, if it needs more nourishment to develop at a faster rate or, you know, maybe removing some toxicity, changing the diet, you know, all those things make a profound difference so that it's not so hard. So there's so many things in our control that we can tweak, change, add, subtract to make it easier for us as moms and easier for them as kids without

Nutrition, expectations, and closing thoughts 38:20

feeling like you're changing who they are. You're just making their world better. Yeah, we're just uncovering the greatness that's already inside of them, right? Like that's 100% it. And, you know, yeah, everything that goes into their mouth, in their body, in the house, like, I mean, all of those different environmental factors, I think that it just, it impacts ADHDers more. and differently-wired brains a little bit more severely sometimes. And so it's not good or bad, it's just the way it is. And there's tons of people out there to help, just like you, which I absolutely encourage digging into Lori's information, because she is so amazing.

And I think you're doing it exactly the right way, and it's hard. It is not the way that we've been told to do it. Yeah, right for decades and and you're it's it's the right way to do it and it's it's the the it just it's it's good sense good common sense Awesome. Oh my gosh, Nancy. This has been fantastic. We're going to continue this conversation. Make sure you go listen to the Dyslexic Maverick podcast. Make sure you like, subscribe, and share both of our podcasts and leave us a review. And we're going to have a couple more podcasts in the future.

So stay tuned. It's a lot of fun. God bless each and every one of you. Thank you so much, Nancy. Oh, thank you. Thank you for tuning in to Doctor Talks. We hope today's episode has enlightened and inspired you on your path to optimal health. Each day is a new opportunity to make choices that empower your well-being. For more insights and strategies, subscribe to our podcast and visit our website, www.doctortalks.com. Stay connected, stay healthy, and join us next time on Doctor Talks, real talks from real doctors on the issues that matter to you most.