The Neuropsychology Of Feminine Leadership

Introduction to Kayla Osterhoff 0:00

- Everyone, we are back for another episode of the medicine of mindset summit. So whether you have been here for part of the week or have really gifted yourself the ability to be with us each and every day, I know that you are learning so much and your, your cup might be you know running over and you know what they say, you need to get a bigger cup at that time and I'm so excited to have Kayla Osterhoff here with me, she is my next speaker. This woman is no joke, all right, if you, you know you can read her official bio, you know, on the summit page, but I want to tell you how Kayla and I came our paths crossed and in this work that we do very often you'll be talking to someone and they'll say, oh you know who you need to connect with or you know who I'm gonna connect you with and that's exactly what happened in this case. We have a common colleague and friend and you know, and sister Kristi Holt and she's like you guys need to connect and so we did and it was one of those moments where you're like, oh my gosh, like this everything she does in her, not just her professional career, but in her personal career is absolutely amazing and who she is and how she's, I'm going to show up today is very unique in this summit.

We have nobody like her and she is a neuroscientist, first of all, so she's one smart cookie yet she has landed in this area of expertise all around the female brain, the female body, our operating system and so what I've already learned from Kayla in maybe six months that we've known each other has drastically impacted my life and I believe that when you have information and the way she presents it is in such like bite sized pieces that you can consume and today and start to impact your life. And so it is my pleasure.

We're going to be chatting today about the neuropsychology of feminine leadership and I know that this is going to be one of those like drop the mic, mind blown conversations. So Kayla, thank you so much for joining us here on the medicine of mindset summit. - Thank you so much for having me. I am so excited for this conversation because I know it's something that you and I love to nerd out about, but I think that this audience is really going to love it too. - So let's start, just give us a little bit um give us a little bit of information about your area of expertise, what drew you to that and then we'll get into a little bit more around the content that we're gonna be covering today.

Why Women Are Understudied in Science 3:08

- Yeah, well, I've always studied the health sciences and I've taken a very traditional approach to my career in terms of education. I studied health ecology in undergraduate um and was actually planning to be a physical therapist at the time, and you know, things evolve as as they do. And while I was in undergrad I had a family event that really kind of changed the course of my career and of my life and that was, my mom had experienced her first opioid overdose at that time and I found out that she had a opioid addiction and that really really impacted me and the direction of my career because I realized how badly the medical community had let down my mom especially considering that her, her addiction was fully supplied by prescription by her doctors and it didn't seem to be an issue for them until she had her first overdose.

So that was when I was in my undergrad um junior year and once I finished my undergraduate degree, I actually decided to switch gears and go into public health because um I obviously saw there was some major issues with our public health systems that led to this devastating event in my family. And so at that point I finished up my master's in public health and went on to work for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for several years. My initial intention was to work on the opioid epidemic, but I didn't end up doing that. I ended up working in Global Health and working on several of the emergency responses, including Zika and Ebola and um just briefly I worked with Covid and then I worked in some areas of of heart disease on the global hearts initiative. And while I was there, I started my um doctoral studies in neuropsychology, physiology, which is the study of the brain, the mind and the body and the interaction between these three complex systems to create the human experience of human behavior.

And specifically I focus on women because women are disproportionately let down by the medical society and medical professionals. And what I found when I got into this field of work was that there is a huge gap in the scientific understanding of women and that comes from the fact that women are not included appropriately in medical and clinical research. And so at that point I started kind of diving into this huge gap of of information of day data about women in their bodies. That is missing. It's missing from our education. It's missing from our medical textbooks, are biological textbooks. It's missing certainly from our medical systems.

And so that is where I focus my efforts. I study um exclusively women and I am a champion to help close this science gap that women represent. Oh, I think you're on, - This is you mentioned, you mentioned so many important things, but let's help me understand and help our audience understand when you talk about the mind and the body and the brain like there might be some people in our audience that are like wait, but isn't our mind our brain help us understand your perspective and how you delineate those two.

Mind, Brain, and Body as One System 7:18

- Yeah, I love talking about this. So the mind, the brain and the body are completely interconnected and in fact none of those three can operate without the other two. However, they are three very different systems that yes, interact together. So the mind you can think about the mind, if you think about a human as like a computer, you can think about the mind as like the software of the computer. It is the invisible piece that is very important and it is installed onto the physical part the hardware of the computer, which is more like the brain and the body, right?

And the brain is kind of like the master, the motherboard of the computer. And the body is like the other physical parts of the computer. Right? And so these these invisible programs are installed on the physical computer which then allows it to manifest into the world. So if you think about you know your computer at home. If you just had the hardware, you just had the computer and there were no programs installed on it, it would just be a black screen. It would do nothing, right? And the opposite is true as well.

If you just have the software but no physical piece to install it onto, then it also does nothing. It's just an invisible thing that you can't see or use, Right? So the mind and the brain are kind of like that, and the physical body, which the brain through the nervous system speaks to the rest of the physical body, through the nervous system. And so looking at these three pieces separately, but how they interact together is a vital part of understanding how humans operate. And in fact it's what I call the human operating system.

And then for women, this human operating system is much different than it is for our male counterparts, and that's what I focus my research on. - Okay, so let's go into that help us understand the differences between the female brain and the male brain. - Yes. Oh my gosh, the female brain is my favorite research subject and topic because it is absolutely fascinating. The human brain in general is fascinating, but the female brain in particular is fascinating because first of all, it's an area of science that is barely understood and research.

So, there are new and interesting findings coming out all of the time, because women have not been studied historically, but what's really fascinating about the female brain is how it operates so differently than the male brain. In fact, there was a study that was recently done a couple of years ago where Dr. Daniel Amen and Amen clinics looked at the brain scans of over 40,000 men and women And what they were studying was about 70 brain areas. And when they looked at the comparison of these 70 brain areas of men and women,

Female vs. Male Brain Differences 10:40

they noticed that in the female brain scans they were the female brains were more active in about 60 of those brain areas out of the 70. And what that tells us in and of itself is basically that the female and male brain operate very differently. But much more interestingly than that. When we took a closer, deeper look at that data to see which areas of the brain were more significantly different in how they operated differently in the male and female brain, we noticed that the female brain has significantly more different activity in the prefrontal cortex, the hippocampus and hypothalamus.

Now what's interesting about that those areas is that number one, these are the brain areas that have high densities of receptors for the female hormones, estrogen and progesterone, which as we know, estrogen progesterone cycle up and down throughout the course of a month. So what that means is that the female brain also cycles throughout the course of the month because these two key hormones modulate the brain function of women throughout the month and significantly impact these three key areas which are involved in leadership qualities. So the prefrontal cortex, the hippocampus and the hypothalamus are involved in decision making, emotional intelligence, um intuitive insight and other aspects of leadership that are really important um like compassion for instance. And so the female brain is actually wired for leadership. - Hmm. And that I think for many women depending on how we've been brought up or socioeconomic, you know, surroundings, we may not necessarily believe that.

- Yeah. Yeah. Well and it's so there's a couple of things going on why women are wired for leadership. One is this um physical aspect of the brain and how the brain is modulated and how women have these kind of what I call cognitive superpowers for leadership because of how their brain function is different in these key areas involved in leadership. But the other piece is a psychological aspect. And on the psychological side, women are also really well suited for leadership because of a epigenetic predisposition to think for the collective.

Now, what I mean by that is that historically over, you know, since the beginning of recorded time, women have taken on a caretaker role in society. And what that means is, you know, they're the leader of the household and usually in charge of the family unit. And a lot of times in charge of the community unit as well. And so over thousands and thousands and thousands of years of women taking on this caretaker role in society. They have been psychologically programmed through this, you know, epigeneticaly passed down through these generations to think for the collective or what I mean by that is consider the collective impact of their decisions.

So if you think about if you're a woman or if you know women and you think about the way that women make decisions, we are always in careful consideration about how every move and decision that we make is going to impact those around us. Now. That's an amazing quality for leadership. And sometimes it can be a little bit of a limitation for women leaders themselves and women leaders to take the leadership positions that they are born for because women can be hesitant to ask for what they need like a promotion at their job because they may be concerned about the collective impact.

You know, what will my colleagues think? Will my boss think I'm asking for too much? How will this change my time and availability at home for my family? So these things are very prominent concerns for women and something that can sometimes hold a woman back from the leadership position that she may be really well suited for. But on the other flip side of the coin, it's also such a great quality for leadership to be able to really consider the collective in every decision. So it's kind of a fine line that women have to walk where they have to be aware of this psychological predisposition to think in this way and they need to be able to um ask for the supports that they need in order to get into these leadership roles that they are really well suited for.

- Okay, let me ask you this. So what you've just taught us about and how you framed it, how does that work with? We've all heard the line a lot lately, right? Like put on your own oxygen mask before helping others or you know as females, we have to take care of self so we can take care of others based on what you're saying with this epigenetic predisposition of thinking for the collective. Are those like oxymorons of each other or how do we how do we do that? - Yeah. So they are in a little bit of opposition of each other when there is a lack of awareness around it.

So when women are aware or there's this increased self awareness of this propensity, the psychological propensity then they can lean into the benefits of that and they can lean into that in their leadership positions and they can also know when to subdue those urges to be maybe hyper vigilant about um oh am I asking for too much

Women Are Wired for Leadership 16:50

or what will that, how will this impact me and kind of maintain their boundaries around what they need to be supported so that they can support all others. So it's kind of like yes that is true and there is a little bit of a psychological hurdle to get over for women that doesn't necessarily exist in the same capacity for men. So it's an extra little challenge that women have to balance. - Okay, so we've talked about the difference between the female brain and the male brain. Let's loop back and go take that conversation to some of the main differences between, you know, masculine rooted leadership. I mean you've talked about the collective with feminine, but let's do a little bit of a side by side comparison.

- Yes, I love this. So masculine leadership is something that is very prominent in our modern society. We have really good examples of strong profound masculine leadership which is absolutely necessary and needed. And on the other side of that, we don't usually see as many great examples of feminine leadership even from our female leaders, we see a little bit more of a masculine leadership approach um which we'll talk about later, why that doesn't really resonate with the female body and eventually leads to burnout.

But masculine leadership, like you said, is more rooted, it is more it is more consistent and it is it can be a little more aggressive um and much needed in a lot of cases. The just push through or grind mentality actually is is a piece of masculine leadership and it maps on really well to the male biology which we'll talk about that in a moment as well. But on the flip side of that, feminine leadership is a little more inconsistent and we'll talk about why that is in terms of our inconsistent physiology and neurology um as women and it can feel sometimes like a more chaotic type energy because it's it's more of a big picture thinking.

And being able to see all the different moving parts and being able to connect all the different moving parts. It is rooted in compassion and consideration of the collective because that's just the natural way that women operate. And it's not as aggressive and doesn't do well to just push through. It's a little more strategic. And like I said, there are these different cognitive capacities that support this one of which is the ability to navigate and strategically think and have this higher emotional intelligence um at certain points of the female hormone cycle.

- Okay, so let's just be clear like here we're talking truly about men in leadership and women in leadership, not the fact that in each of us we have you know masculine energy and human energy. That's what you were just delineating correct male versus female. - Yes. Yes and, so male versus female and there are a lot of female leaders out there in the world right now who are trying to operate in this masculine leadership way um and that is just doesn't work well for us and it's really part of the reason why there aren't as many women leaders out in the world because of either burn out or they have not been able to to use their feminine leadership to get into these leadership positions.

So I guess it's kind of - Okay, - That's and yeah, - Okay, so let's go there. Now, let's talk about you mentioned burn out a few times when there's this disconnect, you know, is burn out inevitable. And what's the way help us understand? You talked about this inconsistent where maybe

Masculine vs. Feminine Leadership Styles 21:30

in the male operating system it's more linear, Right this or rinse and repeat. Which is in the operating system for a woman, it's not that way and one's not right and one is not wrong, it's just different. So take us through those differences. - Yes, absolutely. So in terms of the male versus female operating system or what I call the biorhythm or biological rhythm, there is a major significant difference that is responsible for everything we've been talking about. So, with the male operating system or the male biological rhythm, this is a 24 hour repeating daily system biologically.

So this is actually set to the pace of the sleep and wake hormones, or the the circadian rhythm. And that is Cortisol and Melatonin. It's the sleep wake cycle that occurs every 24 hours. The male physiology. So everything from the cardiovascular system, the respiratory system, The nervous system, the brain, the immune system, the metabolism, literally everything all these other systems in the body are set to the pace of this 24 hour hormone cycle of Cortisol and Melatonin. And so the male biology, male physiology is consistently the same from day.

Today, there are very small changes that occur over really long periods of time across the lifespan. Of course, just like with women. But in general, men are consistently the same every day. And so because of that, they do really, really well in consistent repeating routines, environments, infrastructure schedules, all of that. And so you're probably starting to put two and two together in your mind as I'm saying this and realizing that our society is set up on a 24 hour repeating system where consistency is key to success and where the expectation is that things should be consistent and repetitive and that's the way that, you know, our world operates as of right now. Now for women that is inconsistent with their operating system with their biological rhythm because we have a very different pacemaker at the center of this biological rhythm. Whereas men, it was cortisol and melatonin, this 24 hour system for women, the pacemaker of the global physiology. So again, all of those systems of cardiovascular respiratory nervous.

All of that right, is set to the pace of the female hormone cycle, which is namely estrogen and progesterone. And these two key hormones that set the pace of the female biology is a month long cycle that goes through four significant different hormonal phases over the course of a month. And so because of this, women are shifting physiologically little by little each day and significantly shifting four times over the course of the month. So much so that you can say women are actually four different women cognitively speaking, neurologically speaking and physiologically speaking over the course of a month.

So for women, consistent, consistent environments, infrastructure schedules and and a repetitive system is not in alignment with the way that our bodies operate and function. And it actually doesn't allow us to tap into these leadership cognitive superpowers that we have because we're we're pushing through and we are shutting down some of these superpowers that come online during each of these different phases. - So once we know this, it actually is like a major eye opener. Because if we were to map these four women within this month and if we did have it, I mean sometimes, you know,

Why Women Burn Out in Rigid Systems 25:40

a big meeting or something ends up on a day, you can't you know, really have any impact on that. But if you did and when you start to understand In this week or in these seven days here is what I you know, this is my whatever my inner summer or my inner winter, we can really start to capitalize and optimize how we show up. Is that correct? - 100%. So maybe we should just do a little quick blueprint so that all of the women and men listening can get an idea of these four different women and just how amazingly um designed the female biology really is. - Let's do that. - Awesome.

So phase one in this biological rhythm is the menstrual phase and typically this is the only phase that women are aware that they have. They understand that they have a period and then during the other times of the month they don't have a period right? But it's a lot more complex and a lot more beautiful than just that. So in Phase one this is the menstrual phase and hormonally this is marked by the lowest amount of estrogen and progesterone in comparison to the other four phases throughout the month.

So when estrogen and progesterone are at their very lowest level, a woman's metabolic function slows down significantly and the conversion of food into fuel. So macros through the citric acid cycle into A. T. P. Which is the fuel for the cells, right? Um This whole process slows down so there's a metabolic kind of downshift at the same time. When that happens there is a neurological shift as well. And what we see is that women's excitatory and mood boosting neurotransmitters slow in their activity as well. So during phase one a woman's mood is naturally more subdued and her energy levels are lower and I always like to talk about this in terms of resources. She has a little less resources mood energetic and focus wise during this time um to work with.

And so a really smart allocation of these resources is necessary in order to perform and operate at her peak during this phase. Now all of that might sound like a little bit of a bummer, but this phase is absolutely beautiful and magical in terms of the cognitive super power that comes online during this phase. So what we know now by understanding the cognitive aspects of a woman's function and the neurological changes that occur in this phase, is that a woman experience experience is heightened intuition or a heightened ability for decision making, for resource allocation and for discernment during Phase one. Now why is this so beautiful?

It's because the female body, knowing that there's this extra intuitive sense during this time shifts a woman's focus inward by subduing her mood, giving her a little less focus and energy neurologically right? And slowing her down physically as well by giving a little less energy which directs the attention inward so that a woman can actually tap into these really profound cognitive shifts that occur. Then going from Phase one into Phase two, this is marked hormonally by a steady rise to a peak in estrogen.

And this is called the follicular phase in the female hormone cycle. So in the female biological rhythm, what is happening in this phase as estrogen rises to a peak is the metabolism is speeding up. There's a higher conversion of food into fuel or more efficient conversion of this. So there's more fuel, women have more power strength and endurance throughout this phase. And when we're looking at the neurological shift, there is more and more as estrogen rises of these excitatory and mood boosting neurotransmitters.

So we're talking about epinephrine, norepinephrine, serotonin, dopamine glutamate, all of these things are increasing as estrogen rises. So women's energy levels are increasing, her mood is increasing and really interestingly how the brain shifts. Women have more and more emotional intelligence as estrogen rises to a peak and their ability to navigate gets heightened And so that's what I say is the female cognitive superpower during this phase is navigation. So how brilliant is that during phase one, This is when we're doing our assessment, our analysis, our decision making, our planning, our inward focused type work.

Then we're going from that phase into phase two where we're going to hit the ground running. We have heightened energy. We have heightened emotional intelligence to

The Four Phases of the Female Cycle 31:00

communicate better and work with our teams better. And we have this heightened navigational ability to take this information and actually navigate with it in our lives and think more strategically then going from phase two and phase three, this is the regulatory phase in terms of the female hormone cycle. And this is in terms of the female biological rhythm. This is when women are typically feeling their very best or most energetic with the highest mood because this is when estrogen peaks alongside luteinizing hormone and follicle stimulating hormone.

And when all of these hormones are at their highest level, the metabolism of women is as at its highest the energy levels are at its highest. And these excitatory in mood boosting neurochemicals reach their peak as well. And women have this heightened um charismatic quality to themselves or this more influence during this time because of these biochemical and neurological and physiological shifts. So this is when women should be doing their pitches if they can schedule it around this time, this is when they should be doing their networking, their their social engagements and interactions or really anything where they need to have more of this influence and then going from that phase into the final phase which is actually the whole back half the final two weeks of the female hormone cycle.

And this is marked by a a decrease a steady decrease in estrogen. So it's kind of coming back down the other side of the peak. And while that's happening there is a rise to a peak in progesterone, the other key female hormone cycle hormone. And as progesterone rises to a peak, it does some really interesting things to the female brain in particular. So as estrogen as we know, is kind of coming down the other side, we understand that that is decreasing the energy is steadily decreasing, but it's a slow, it's a slow decrease across the course of two weeks.

And the focus in the mood might be lowering little by little as well during that time, but what's happening neurologically as progesterone rises to a peak is that women get a nice boost in brain derived neurotrophic factor alongside progesterone. And this is involved in neural plasticity and neurogenesis. So the female brain is actually more moldable, meaning that women are more resilient have the heightened ability to learn. Their neural pathways are more plastic during this phase and at the same time they are literally growing new neurons in their brain at a higher rate. So I call this the brainy phase or the grow phase of the female biological rhythm.

Alongside that, we also, as women get this nice boost in gaba neurotransmitter that comes alongside of the rise to a peak in progesterone. Now, Gaba neurotransmitter is our down regulatory neurotransmitter in opposition to our up regulatory neurotransmitters like glutamate epinephrine, norepinephrine in those. But what's really cool about this is that gabby neurotransmitter is involved in getting restful quality sleep, it's involved in myelination and neural pruning. So the health of the brain and it's also involved in memory consolidation.

So alongside this neural plasticity neurogenesis there's a heightened ability to consolidate memory. So this is a great time for women to be learning, studying, adapting growing, right? So you can see how the whole cycle. Each has each of the phases has its own superpower, its own magic and one feeds beautifully into the next and then it repeats again. And so women have these four opportunities every single month to tap into these cognitive superpowers that they have and these these superpowers that they have physiologically as well so that they can be more effective in their lives and be more healthy, more satisfied, more happy.

And so that gives a little a little taste of each phase. It's a lot more complex than that, but that is a nice way to be able to enter into consideration of these four different versions that occur over the course of a month. - Well you know what I think just happened here, Kayla which maybe you know you I'm sure you understand is that I know that there are women watching this and men that are watching this, that you have just given them this little glimpse into like why, like just so much clarity around because we there's those moments where you're like ready to you know, someone doesn't put away their jacket and you're ready to like chop their head off and you and you and you feel like oh my gosh that you know and when you understand the why behind it, it is actually quite empowering and I know you know this is probably the second or third time I've heard you say this and every time you say it it lands in a different way because I don't think there are a lot of women and men out there that understand this.

You know, we know we know that men are from mars and women are from Venus and we know these things right? We've been and yes, there are those differences. But when you understand the other, how beautifully connected is that. So, I want to thank you for the way you so eloquently took us through those four phases. And I want to ask you two more questions before we wrap. So in your area of expertise, what do you think is not being talked about enough? - Well, women are not being talked about enough in general in the field of science.

And you know, this is a problem that really dates back to 1977 when the FDA formally banned all women of childbearing potential from all research um that remained in effect until the mid 90s. And even when it was overturned, women are still not included in these scientific studies in the scientific discussions. So without that very basic understanding of the female body and how women operate, it's impossible to create infrastructures and systems and a society that is in support of women, we understand the male body in the male biology really, really well at this point.

And our society reflects that, right? Because the data that we have is very male centric and our society is designed um in support of the male biology. Kind of by default. I don't think it's intentional. It's just the information that we have and so that's what we're using. So women need to be discussed. Women need to be included in these scientific discussions and that's kind of the basis. And then from there, women need to be given this education and this information to empower themselves so that they don't have to end up burning out. And unfortunately that's what so many women are experiencing at this point is burnout because they have not been given the right information to support and take care of themselves and they are not given the right support systems within our world in order to operate at their highest level.

- Well, we talk when we talk about mindset, I mean that's what this summit is all about. Can you imagine now knowing this information and how it can completely shift because I think a lot of us feel like it's me, right? I flipped through my Instagram and I see all these women doing all these things what you know, and I've said it before on the summit like really life is not an instagram feed and understanding this physiology, biology. It does feed into our mindset because we know that we do have the ability to heal, we do have the ability to go within and find what we need. And I think that when you talked about the four phases, you know, you did, you did touch on that.

There are times when we are like in our wonder woman power and we're like yes bring it. Right? And so riding that wave that you know what there might be some days where your mindset is cup half empty, right? But what does that mean? What does that mean that you're supposed to be going within to like settle a bit and you are trying to push through that? I feel like as I heard you speak, that's what I was thinking. It's the disconnect between what our body and mind and brain are telling us and what we've been conditioned to do and then there's like this Big gap and that's where burnout happens, right?

Is that would that be a good way of explaining it? - 100%. It's again going back to this idea about resources and smart resource allocation. It's not that we don't have the proper resources in order to do the things that we want to do in the world. It's just that we're not allocating them appropriately because we're not understanding how they're changing and shifting, we don't have the same level of resources all month long. They change, they shift we get some more of this and a little less of this, right? So it's more about understanding that and being able to navigate um in the world and also being able to educate those around us too.

So that the demands on us are not unrealistic. There's only so far we can go to just push through and work in a way that is in opposition of our bodies before we will eventually burn out. And so that that's the expectations that society puts on us and the expectations that we have on ourselves, especially when we are doing the comparison game. So we really have to stop doing that well. - And you know, you hear you speak reminded me so I'm the mom of three boys and they're now like 17, 19 and 21. But when they were younger and parents like the parents that are out there, if you're looking for an amazing resource, there is two books by us born books and one is for girls and one is for boys and they're called, what's happening to me. They both are ones pink ones blue.

Right? And so for our boys, we got them the s born book, what's happening to me. And I read part of it to them and then together with them and my husband read part of it. Like I didn't read the section on wet dreams because I'm like, I don't know, I've never had a wet dream, right? But I did read the chapters around what is happening to your female friends in a month. Right? And so I, this was one of my proud moments where I remember our middle son coming home from school and he must have been like maybe grade five or six.

And we had already read the book and you know, we always go through how was your day? And he went through and he mentioned how him and his friend Hayden had noticed this week

Teaching Cycle Awareness to the Next Generation 42:50

that Emma was not being nice to anyone, she was mad and she was just not, yeah, like not and she had said something particularly to Hayden that day and Hayden was just like beside himself, like why would she ever say anything right? And remember will saying to Hayden, Hayden, there's a good chance she might be having her period and we need to just be respectful and give her some space and know that she's not being mean to be mean, it's just part of what's happening in her body and I was like, okay, you know what, whatever, 10 or 11 years old, if that's what he took out of that book and then knowing as he grows into a teenager and a young man and you know, God willing one day, you know, having his own special person in his life, I feel like that was, and so I don't think it's ever too early to start teaching or there's, there's moments where we can be teaching our kids about this because they are, they're like little sponges and I think that's important.

- Oh my gosh, yes, absolutely. I love, love love hearing that um that your sons were equipped with this really valuable information that's going to serve them for the rest of their lives and it's so cool to hear these stories and how they actually play out in real life. So thank you for being a super mom and you know, really offering this information that's just going to not only serve them, but it's gonna help to serve the women that they are in collaboration within their lives. - Well 100%. And I mean the first time I had the conversation with them about, you know, women's bodies was probably about a year or two before.

Then when I came home and there were my pads being used as skates your right there. And I'm like, they're like, we found these things in your room, they're really good for skates, like on the hardwood. And I'm like, okay boys, let's have a little convo about what those actually are. And they're like, oh my gosh, right, Oh my gosh, that's so funny. I have one more question, let's you, Kayla, you've given us so much great information, the content that you've presented and how you presented it. I know exactly what our audience is looking for in terms of just getting to know their bodies or their partner's bodies in a different way. And so give us a sense of what you do because we're here talking about mindset. What are some of the mindset hacks or tips or tricks that you are kind of like non negotiables for you that you do them on a daily or weekly basis and what you notice when you, when you do them consistently.

- Yeah, I often check in on the quality of my mind that really integral piece of the human operating system, right? It's a whole third of it, if it could be parsed out equally like that, which you can't, but it's a it's an integral part of the human operating system and if the quality of my mind is poor, meaning that I'm having a lot of hypervigilant stressful thoughts, I'm in a negative headspace, I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'm experiencing a lot of negative emotions, if that is the quality of my mind, then that is going to translate into the quality of my life because it's such an important part of our operating system.

So for me, I like to check in often about the quality of my mind and it's just a little reminder. I have little alarms that go off on my phone that remind me to kind of check in with myself and I often find myself as a busy female entrepreneur who like many of the women listening here are taking on a lot of things and don't have a lot of time. So I often find myself in these mental states that I that are not going to be supportive of my operating system and so when I check in and I'm feeling more negative emotions and more thoughts I'm experiencing more thoughts that are not in alignment with where I really want to be and where I'm going then I know at that point that I need to check in with myself, how am I taking care of myself? Am I allowing myself breaks?

Am I checking in on where my resources are currently at and where I'm putting them? So even the way our nervous system modulates through the different phases will impact the amount of stress and the amount of of negative thoughts and

Mindset Habits for Self-Regulation 47:40

emotions that we can handle. And so I always kind of revert back to that and say, okay, where am I allocated my resources? Clearly I am burning through too much of some part of my resources right now and I need to support myself better so that I can get myself back on track and get the quality of my mind back to the place that needs to be in order for me to operate at my highest level. - And so are you just setting like just basic alarms as if you would set it to wake up in the morning, are using special apps or anything like that?

- No, no special apps. I just set alarms on my phone to for me to check in. Sometimes I leave myself a little positive message and I'll change those around um periodically and sometimes it's just an alarm and it goes off and I'm like what's that? Oh I know what that's for. Yeah, okay. And then it's like okay, yeah, actually I did need to, you know, just take a little mental break right now. I needed to get myself outside into the sunshine, some fresh air reset my mind so that I can go back into work, you know, at a more positive place.

- So good. I love the simplicity of that, right? Anything left unsaid or any last comments before we give people info on how they can connect with you if they want more. - Yeah, absolutely. I think the biggest thing that I want to leave everybody with, you know, whether you are a man or a woman, if this information kind of turned on a light bulb for you, that is the acknowledgement that we want to give women societally and so please share this information or whatever you learned, even just one little piece of whatever you learned today with not only the women around you, but the men around you, so that we can increase this awareness around women and give them um some better support than we have been giving them so that they can thrive and they can show us what they can do in terms of leadership.

- So good and where can people connect with you? - Yes. If you want to learn more about all of this and dive deeper into all of the nerdy science goodness around the female um neurology and physiology, you can check out herbiorhythm.com.

Closing Thoughts and Where to Connect 50:05

And then you can also follow me on social media on Instagram is the best place and my handle is @biocurious_Kayla and I share a lot of free information there as well and announcements when I have different events and things going on. So I would love to connect with any of you and all of you there as well. - Kayla, thank you so much for offering your wisdom and your charm. I think that this area of mindset is probably not understood as well as it should be or we need to bust through some of those old belief systems that I think we've been have maybe growing up with.

So thank you for doing all of that today. Check all those boxes. Everybody, wasn't she fantastic? I want you to go take a little bit of a break before we head into our next episode. Like Kayla said, get out into the sunshine, move your body a little bit, grab a sip of water and we will see you on the next piece of this amazing week of the Medicine of mindset summit. Bye bye.