Your Life, Your Healing with Rashida Zaman

Podcast Introduction and Reunion 0:00

Welcome to the Wellness [music] on Tap Welcome to the Wellness [music] on Tap podcast with your host, Dr. Debs podcast with your host, Dr. Debs podcast with your host, Dr. Debs Eastwood. Eastwood. Eastwood. >> So, I want to take you right back to >> So, I want to take you right back to >> So, I want to take you right back to where we met initially. where we met initially. where we met initially. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> And then even further because I'm sure >> And then even further because I'm sure >> And then even further because I'm sure your journey to publishing your book your journey to publishing your book your journey to publishing your book started way before we met as well.

started way before we met as well. started way before we met as well. >> Yes, indeed. >> Yes, indeed. >> Yes, indeed. >> So, it was a couple of years ago. >> So, it was a couple of years ago. >> So, it was a couple of years ago. >> It was that we ran into each other at an >> It was that we ran into each other at an >> It was that we ran into each other at an event. We sat at the same I was a bit event. We sat at the same I was a bit event. We sat at the same I was a bit late cuz I dropped my daughter off to late cuz I dropped my daughter off to late cuz I dropped my daughter off to school and then I came to to Peterbr so school and then I came to to Peterbr so school and then I came to to Peterbr so I there wasn't many spaces in other I there wasn't many spaces in other I there wasn't many spaces in other tables and you kindly asked me to sit tables and you kindly asked me to sit tables and you kindly asked me to sit down um at your table and when it was down um at your table and when it was down um at your table and when it was break time we had a good little nata and break time we had a good little nata and break time we had a good little nata and we had a lot in common we had a lot in common we had a lot in common >> and we thought oh I said oh I I remember >> and we thought oh I said oh I I remember >> and we thought oh I said oh I I remember seeing you at the zoom calls on the seeing you at the zoom calls on the seeing you at the zoom calls on the little windows little windows little windows >> yes >> yes >> yes >> so we had some face familiarity there >> so we had some face familiarity there >> so we had some face familiarity there >> but you were just so welcome wcoming and >> but you were just so welcome wcoming and >> but you were just so welcome wcoming and we just got on so well.

we just got on so well. we just got on so well. >> Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, we've kept >> Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, we've kept >> Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, we've kept in touch ever since, haven't we? And in touch ever since, haven't we? And in touch ever since, haven't we? And bumped into each other on a couple of bumped into each other on a couple of bumped into each other on a couple of occasions. occasions. occasions. >> Yeah, we met again at the professional

Early Career in Education 1:03

>> Yeah, we met again at the professional >> Yeah, we met again at the professional speaker school. speaker school. speaker school. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> In Kent after that and that's when we >> In Kent after that and that's when we >> In Kent after that and that's when we really jelled as well. really jelled as well. really jelled as well. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, >> So, >> So, >> and I met your son. >> and I met your son. >> and I met your son. >> Yes, you did indeed. I forgot I took >> Yes, you did indeed. I forgot I took >> Yes, you did indeed. I forgot I took him. Yeah, I took him to the provincial him. Yeah, I took him to the provincial him. Yeah, I took him to the provincial speaker school and he was really, really speaker school and he was really, really speaker school and he was really, really nervous, nervous, nervous, >> but he actually did it. And Jess's team >> but he actually did it. And Jess's team >> but he actually did it. And Jess's team were of course amazing. They're great.

were of course amazing. They're great. were of course amazing. They're great. >> They break through and he did really >> They break through and he did really >> They break through and he did really well. So yeah, we've you've met my son. well. So yeah, we've you've met my son. well. So yeah, we've you've met my son. That says a lot, doesn't it? That says a lot, doesn't it? That says a lot, doesn't it? >> I know. And your husband now as well. >> I know. And your husband now as well. >> I know. And your husband now as well. >> Yes. [laughter] >> Yes. [laughter] >> Yes. [laughter] >> Yes. Yeah. There's lots of growth in >> Yes. Yeah. There's lots of growth in >> Yes. Yeah. There's lots of growth in those workshops and training sessions.

those workshops and training sessions. those workshops and training sessions. When a lot of people hear that I've When a lot of people hear that I've When a lot of people hear that I've traveled all the way from London now to traveled all the way from London now to traveled all the way from London now to Yorkshire to Peterbr to Kent for all Yorkshire to Peterbr to Kent for all Yorkshire to Peterbr to Kent for all these intensive courses and things, they these intensive courses and things, they these intensive courses and things, they think I'm completely bonkers.

think I'm completely bonkers. think I'm completely bonkers. You go all the way there, but you can do You go all the way there, but you can do You go all the way there, but you can do everything online. But there's something everything online. But there's something everything online. But there's something special about in person, special about in person, special about in person, >> isn't there? >> isn't there? >> isn't there? >> The person's energy, learning from them, >> The person's energy, learning from them, >> The person's energy, learning from them, speaking to other people who've gone speaking to other people who've gone speaking to other people who've gone through the same thing through the same thing through the same thing >> and and the networking.

>> and and the networking. >> and and the networking. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Like this. >> Like this. >> Like this. >> Exactly. We wouldn't be sitted. >> Exactly. We wouldn't be sitted. >> Exactly. We wouldn't be sitted. >> Yeah. I doubt very much that we would be >> Yeah. I doubt very much that we would be >> Yeah. I doubt very much that we would be sitting here now had it just been a Zoom sitting here now had it just been a Zoom sitting here now had it just been a Zoom thing. thing. thing. >> I agree.

>> I agree. >> I agree. >> You know, cuz Exactly. Because of what >> You know, cuz Exactly. Because of what >> You know, cuz Exactly. Because of what you said, the energy is so much more you said, the energy is so much more you said, the energy is so much more different, isn't it? different, isn't it? different, isn't it? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> When you're in person. And I remember >> When you're in person. And I remember >> When you're in person. And I remember the very first time I went um 2021, the very first time I went um 2021, the very first time I went um 2021, July 2021, I was working full-time at a July 2021, I was working full-time at a July 2021, I was working full-time at a secondary school in East London. And I secondary school in East London. And I secondary school in East London. And I had been looking for um that role was had been looking for um that role was had been looking for um that role was actually temporary. So I wanted a actually temporary. So I wanted a actually temporary. So I wanted a permanent role cuz over the years I've permanent role cuz over the years I've permanent role cuz over the years I've been in education sector for over 20 been in education sector for over 20 been in education sector for over 20 years. And all of my roles were years. And all of my roles were years. And all of my roles were permanent. And this was the one when co permanent. And this was the one when co permanent. And this was the one when co they started to do less um contracts of they started to do less um contracts of they started to do less um contracts of permanent and more temporary roles. So permanent and more temporary roles. So permanent and more temporary roles. So they can just remove people as when they they can just remove people as when they they can just remove people as when they need it or whatever the reason was. And need it or whatever the reason was. And need it or whatever the reason was. And so I've been looking for jobs and I was so I've been looking for jobs and I was so I've been looking for jobs and I was working as behavior assistant at that working as behavior assistant at that working as behavior assistant at that time and I just wanted to pass to a time and I just wanted to pass to a time and I just wanted to pass to a manager role but I'd just been applying manager role but I'd just been applying manager role but I'd just been applying for several jobs and I didn't understand for several jobs and I didn't understand for several jobs and I didn't understand I usually go for interviews when I was I usually go for interviews when I was I usually go for interviews when I was do my early years educator roles I go do my early years educator roles I go do my early years educator roles I go for the first interview and I just get for the first interview and I just get for the first interview and I just get appointed but on this occasion that appointed but on this occasion that appointed but on this occasion that summer that entire 2021 I just kept summer that entire 2021 I just kept summer that entire 2021 I just kept getting interviews after interviews and getting interviews after interviews and getting interviews after interviews and but I just wasn't appointed I just but I just wasn't appointed I just but I just wasn't appointed I just couldn't understand and I started couldn't understand and I started couldn't understand and I started watching a TV program and I came across watching a TV program and I came across watching a TV program and I came across our mentor and I thought oh I might go our mentor and I thought oh I might go our mentor and I thought oh I might go along and find out more about this along and find out more about this along and find out more about this course course course >> and that's how I went ended up being in >> and that's how I went ended up being in >> and that's how I went ended up being in that course and then I met you a year that course and then I met you a year that course and then I met you a year later but at that time [clears throat] later but at that time [clears throat] later but at that time [clears throat] >> it was so intense to a few days and I >> it was so intense to a few days and I >> it was so intense to a few days and I was driving back and forth back and was driving back and forth back and was driving back and forth back and forth and for me even the driving had forth and for me even the driving had forth and for me even the driving had the the growth in it because in co we the the growth in it because in co we the the growth in it because in co we weren't really driving or going very far weren't really driving or going very far weren't really driving or going very far and so I lost a bit of confidence in in and so I lost a bit of confidence in in and so I lost a bit of confidence in in driving although I've been driving for driving although I've been driving for driving although I've been driving for years so I remember when I met some years so I remember when I met some years so I remember when I met some people and they're like, "Oh my god, you people and they're like, "Oh my god, you people and they're like, "Oh my god, you drive it all the way here and then you drive it all the way here and then you drive it all the way here and then you drive back home." I'm like, "Yeah, but drive back home." I'm like, "Yeah, but drive back home." I'm like, "Yeah, but it's okay because I enjoy the I enjoy it's okay because I enjoy the I enjoy it's okay because I enjoy the I enjoy that time on my own." And I've been that time on my own." And I've been that time on my own." And I've been practicing. I was doing my homework in practicing. I was doing my homework in practicing. I was doing my homework in the car and I do the affirmations and the car and I do the affirmations and the car and I do the affirmations and affirmations all new to me. So that affirmations all new to me. So that affirmations all new to me. So that course, the business course back in course, the business course back in course, the business course back in Pitchburg was one of the biggest Pitchburg was one of the biggest Pitchburg was one of the biggest growth spaces I'd been to and walking growth spaces I'd been to and walking growth spaces I'd been to and walking into being a woman of color, being a into being a woman of color, being a into being a woman of color, being a Muslim, being a hijab, being the only Muslim, being a hijab, being the only Muslim, being a hijab, being the only person in a room full of people who do person in a room full of people who do person in a room full of people who do don't look anything like me, that just don't look anything like me, that just don't look anything like me, that just gave me so much confidence and power and gave me so much confidence and power and gave me so much confidence and power and and like empowerment really. And I felt and like empowerment really. And I felt and like empowerment really. And I felt liberated in the space that yeah, liberated in the space that yeah, liberated in the space that yeah, there's there is so much out there.

there's there is so much out there. there's there is so much out there. There's so much more. I don't have to be There's so much more. I don't have to be There's so much more. I don't have to be employed. I can do more. and seeing some employed. I can do more. and seeing some employed. I can do more. and seeing some of the we'll go into this in a little of the we'll go into this in a little of the we'll go into this in a little while, but the engagement and the while, but the engagement and the while, but the engagement and the interaction that people were having, I'm interaction that people were having, I'm interaction that people were having, I'm like a new world had opened up to me like a new world had opened up to me like a new world had opened up to me from being employed to being going into from being employed to being going into from being employed to being going into entrepreneurship. But seeing cuz at that entrepreneurship. But seeing cuz at that entrepreneurship. But seeing cuz at that point I hadn't had a business, but I point I hadn't had a business, but I point I hadn't had a business, but I just wanted to know what it felt like to just wanted to know what it felt like to just wanted to know what it felt like to be in the room. There was millionaires be in the room. There was millionaires be in the room. There was millionaires in the room.

in the room. in the room. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And I'd never been I'd never been in >> And I'd never been I'd never been in >> And I'd never been I'd never been in that kind of space before. So that kind of space before. So that kind of space before. So that was an really eye opening that was an really eye opening that was an really eye opening experience and it gave me so much experience and it gave me so much experience and it gave me so much confidence from the moment I started confidence from the moment I started confidence from the moment I started driving. Yeah, that is wonderful cuz I driving. Yeah, that is wonderful cuz I driving. Yeah, that is wonderful cuz I hadn't thought about the bit outside of hadn't thought about the bit outside of hadn't thought about the bit outside of the actual course itself and the value the actual course itself and the value the actual course itself and the value of that.

of that. of that. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I have to reappraise >> I have to reappraise >> I have to reappraise when that happens for me. when that happens for me. when that happens for me. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And appreciate that as well. I tend to >> And appreciate that as well. I tend to >> And appreciate that as well. I tend to look out of the car if I'm driving look out of the car if I'm driving look out of the car if I'm driving places now and and like gratitude for places now and and like gratitude for places now and and like gratitude for the weather.

the weather. the weather. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> You know, and if somebody lets me in in >> You know, and if somebody lets me in in >> You know, and if somebody lets me in in a queue or whatever, grateful. But try a queue or whatever, grateful. But try a queue or whatever, grateful. But try to be more grateful for more things. M to be more grateful for more things. M to be more grateful for more things. M 100% the everyday things. 100% the everyday things. 100% the everyday things. >> Yeah. >> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> The everyday gratitude of I got here >> The everyday gratitude of I got here >> The everyday gratitude of I got here safe, you know, thank God I'm here. safe, you know, thank God I'm here. safe, you know, thank God I'm here. >> Precisely. >> Precisely. >> Precisely. >> Thank god the car's working. I've been >> Thank god the car's working. I've been >> Thank god the car's working. I've been to spaces when halfway through the to spaces when halfway through the to spaces when halfway through the motorway, my car's broken down.

motorway, my car's broken down. motorway, my car's broken down. >> So like I've got here safe. And that's >> So like I've got here safe. And that's >> So like I've got here safe. And that's one of the things that we don't take we one of the things that we don't take we one of the things that we don't take we take for granted. Getting to places take for granted. Getting to places take for granted. Getting to places safely back and forth. Whether you're in safely back and forth. Whether you're in safely back and forth. Whether you're in the same country, whether you're on a the same country, whether you're on a the same country, whether you're on a plane, that's really important to it's plane, that's really important to it's plane, that's really important to it's such a biggest blessing we forget.

such a biggest blessing we forget. such a biggest blessing we forget. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Getting to places on time and >> Getting to places on time and >> Getting to places on time and >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Yes. You are not wrong. >> Yes. You are not wrong. >> Yes. You are not wrong. >> We do. I've had a few travel hiccups >> We do. I've had a few travel hiccups >> We do. I've had a few travel hiccups lately, lately, lately, >> but you know, got to my destination >> but you know, got to my destination >> but you know, got to my destination safely in the end or by it safely in the end or by it safely in the end or by it >> perhaps a few hours later than what I >> perhaps a few hours later than what I >> perhaps a few hours later than what I was intending, but getting there safely.

was intending, but getting there safely. was intending, but getting there safely. >> Absolutely. You know, and that's what >> Absolutely. You know, and that's what >> Absolutely. You know, and that's what it's all about. So, you've just said it's all about. So, you've just said it's all about. So, you've just said you've been in education more than 20 you've been in education more than 20 you've been in education more than 20 years. years. years. >> I have. >> I have. >> I have. >> So, may I inquire as to your story as to >> So, may I inquire as to your story as to >> So, may I inquire as to your story as to how all that began?

how all that began? how all that began? It was the [sighs] It was the [sighs] It was the [sighs] summer of summer of summer of 1992, 1992, 1992, I think, when I was I think, when I was I think, when I was Yeah, I believe it was 92. Um, I was Yeah, I believe it was 92. Um, I was Yeah, I believe it was 92. Um, I was choosing which college to go to, choosing which college to go to, choosing which college to go to, university, college, something like university, college, something like university, college, something like that. And I remember speaking to my dad that. And I remember speaking to my dad that. And I remember speaking to my dad and I said, I want to do NEB. It was and I said, I want to do NEB. It was and I said, I want to do NEB. It was called National Nursery Education Board.

called National Nursery Education Board. called National Nursery Education Board. And my dad said to me, "Yeah, that's a And my dad said to me, "Yeah, that's a And my dad said to me, "Yeah, that's a good course. And you could go to become good course. And you could go to become good course. And you could go to become a nursery nurse and you'll be like a nursery nurse and you'll be like a nursery nurse and you'll be like Princess Diana." Princess Diana was a Princess Diana." Princess Diana was a Princess Diana." Princess Diana was a nursery nurse.

nursery nurse. nursery nurse. and they still stuck with me. and they still stuck with me. and they still stuck with me. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And um so I did the course, diploma >> And um so I did the course, diploma >> And um so I did the course, diploma course all into education and I want course all into education and I want course all into education and I want just wanted to be with young children. I just wanted to be with young children. I just wanted to be with young children. I was youngest of four so I loved being was youngest of four so I loved being was youngest of four so I loved being around young children. So that's all I around young children. So that's all I around young children. So that's all I wanted to do was go into education and wanted to do was go into education and wanted to do was go into education and teach young children and be in early teach young children and be in early teach young children and be in early years. Finished the course completely years. Finished the course completely years. Finished the course completely loved it and I was offered a place to loved it and I was offered a place to loved it and I was offered a place to work at one of my placements. It was a work at one of my placements. It was a work at one of my placements. It was a children's center. Worked there for a children's center. Worked there for a children's center. Worked there for a few years. I then decided that I wanted few years. I then decided that I wanted few years. I then decided that I wanted to go into schools that I really wanted to go into schools that I really wanted to go into schools that I really wanted to be in schools and I found within I'd to be in schools and I found within I'd to be in schools and I found within I'd been working there for about 4 years been working there for about 4 years been working there for about 4 years nearly 5 years and the first application nearly 5 years and the first application nearly 5 years and the first application form I made was in another in primary form I made was in another in primary form I made was in another in primary school and I remember being interviewed school and I remember being interviewed school and I remember being interviewed and I think I got two or three and I think I got two or three and I think I got two or three interviews at that point and out of them interviews at that point and out of them interviews at that point and out of them I was interviewed was appointed straight I was interviewed was appointed straight I was interviewed was appointed straight away. I was so so happy at that school.

away. I was so so happy at that school. away. I was so so happy at that school. Met some amazing colleagues who I'm Met some amazing colleagues who I'm Met some amazing colleagues who I'm still in touch with. Worked there for 5 still in touch with. Worked there for 5 still in touch with. Worked there for 5 years and then I decided I wanted to go years and then I decided I wanted to go years and then I decided I wanted to go to another school. So I went to another to another school. So I went to another to another school. So I went to another school and back and forth. I did that school and back and forth. I did that school and back and forth. I did that for quite a few schools. All all in all for quite a few schools. All all in all for quite a few schools. All all in all probably about six years I worked in um probably about six years I worked in um probably about six years I worked in um primary schools as early as as early as primary schools as early as as early as primary schools as early as as early as educator. After that I'd realized when educator. After that I'd realized when educator. After that I'd realized when the parents were coming to me and by the parents were coming to me and by the parents were coming to me and by that time I had become a parent is they that time I had become a parent is they that time I had become a parent is they were asking for parenting advice for were asking for parenting advice for were asking for parenting advice for when we used to run the parents evenings when we used to run the parents evenings when we used to run the parents evenings sessions and a lot of the parents were sessions and a lot of the parents were sessions and a lot of the parents were speaking to me about how do I do this speaking to me about how do I do this speaking to me about how do I do this how do I and I I realized I was really how do I and I I realized I was really how do I and I I realized I was really good at that and my head teacher was good at that and my head teacher was good at that and my head teacher was like I noticed you have a really rapport like I noticed you have a really rapport like I noticed you have a really rapport with parents. So I looked into doing a with parents. So I looked into doing a with parents. So I looked into doing a course based on advising parents as a course based on advising parents as a course based on advising parents as a family support adviser and I looked into family support adviser and I looked into family support adviser and I looked into so many roles just prior for the course

Finding Purpose Through Parenting Support 8:30

so many roles just prior for the course so many roles just prior for the course and I wasn't really getting the and I wasn't really getting the and I wasn't really getting the interviews for that. So I thought okay interviews for that. So I thought okay interviews for that. So I thought okay maybe if I just do a course around it maybe if I just do a course around it maybe if I just do a course around it I'll I'll maybe get into it I'll have I'll I'll maybe get into it I'll have I'll I'll maybe get into it I'll have higher chances. So I looked into it and higher chances. So I looked into it and higher chances. So I looked into it and I I I did do the course complete the course.

did do the course complete the course. did do the course complete the course. It took me longer than I expected It took me longer than I expected It took me longer than I expected because there was issues with the because there was issues with the because there was issues with the assessor. So it was a year course but I assessor. So it was a year course but I assessor. So it was a year course but I did I was so determined to complete it did I was so determined to complete it did I was so determined to complete it because I just wanted that you know because I just wanted that you know because I just wanted that you know certificate to get me into the role I certificate to get me into the role I certificate to get me into the role I really wanted to do as family support really wanted to do as family support really wanted to do as family support advisor. Eventually after 2 years advisor. Eventually after 2 years advisor. Eventually after 2 years certificate came through then I started certificate came through then I started certificate came through then I started making applications making applications making applications >> and I fell in love with the role itself >> and I fell in love with the role itself >> and I fell in love with the role itself cuz I was no longer in the classrooms cuz I was no longer in the classrooms cuz I was no longer in the classrooms then and I was in office by that time.

then and I was in office by that time. then and I was in office by that time. The first time the deputy had showed me The first time the deputy had showed me The first time the deputy had showed me to my office, I had a river view was in to my office, I had a river view was in to my office, I had a river view was in duckland with the river. I love rivers duckland with the river. I love rivers duckland with the river. I love rivers and I thought, "Wow, this is such a and I thought, "Wow, this is such a and I thought, "Wow, this is such a blessing. How did I get so lucky?"

blessing. How did I get so lucky?" blessing. How did I get so lucky?" >> How lucky to be able to overlook over a >> How lucky to be able to overlook over a >> How lucky to be able to overlook over a river. So worked there and I was there river. So worked there and I was there river. So worked there and I was there about a year and nobody could tell that about a year and nobody could tell that about a year and nobody could tell that I wasn't doing this role before as a I wasn't doing this role before as a I wasn't doing this role before as a family sport advisor. I was a nursery family sport advisor. I was a nursery family sport advisor. I was a nursery nurse prior to that early years educator nurse prior to that early years educator nurse prior to that early years educator now and nobody could tell that was my now and nobody could tell that was my now and nobody could tell that was my first role. I was so into it. I loved first role. I was so into it. I loved first role. I was so into it. I loved it. or their parents would come in would it. or their parents would come in would it. or their parents would come in would do all kinds of forms for them. And one do all kinds of forms for them. And one do all kinds of forms for them. And one of the things that really surprised me of the things that really surprised me of the things that really surprised me as part of the role was her teacher came as part of the role was her teacher came as part of the role was her teacher came to me and he said, "I'd like you to do to me and he said, "I'd like you to do to me and he said, "I'd like you to do some trips for our parents cuz we've some trips for our parents cuz we've some trips for our parents cuz we've noticed some some of my parents are just noticed some some of my parents are just noticed some some of my parents are just not very confident. So, I'd like you to not very confident. So, I'd like you to not very confident. So, I'd like you to lead some trips." And one of the trips lead some trips." And one of the trips lead some trips." And one of the trips was you'd never guess where we took was you'd never guess where we took was you'd never guess where we took their parents to.

their parents to. their parents to. [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] >> Go on, tell me. >> Go on, tell me. >> Go on, tell me. >> IKEA. Greenwich. IKEA. >> IKEA. Greenwich. IKEA. >> IKEA. Greenwich. IKEA. >> Never. No. I You're right. I wouldn't >> Never. No. I You're right. I wouldn't >> Never. No. I You're right. I wouldn't have guessed that. have guessed that. have guessed that. >> It was a new IKEA. It opened up great. >> It was a new IKEA. It opened up great. >> It was a new IKEA. It opened up great. We've got one street now.

We've got one street now. We've got one street now. >> M. So, and I was like, "Wow, how did I >> M. So, and I was like, "Wow, how did I >> M. So, and I was like, "Wow, how did I get so lucky that I get to go to IKEA get so lucky that I get to go to IKEA get so lucky that I get to go to IKEA and get paid for it?" [laughter] and get paid for it?" [laughter] and get paid for it?" [laughter] And I would do once a week I do walk, And I would do once a week I do walk, And I would do once a week I do walk, nature walks with them cuz we were right nature walks with them cuz we were right nature walks with them cuz we were right close to the river as well. So, we would close to the river as well. So, we would close to the river as well. So, we would do river walks with the parents once a do river walks with the parents once a do river walks with the parents once a week. I do that and I would run week. I do that and I would run week. I do that and I would run workshops there. And that's where my workshops there. And that's where my workshops there. And that's where my love of workshops started, love of workshops started, love of workshops started, >> right?

>> right? >> right? >> And I was like, gosh, this is amazing >> And I was like, gosh, this is amazing >> And I was like, gosh, this is amazing having parents in coming in. And I having parents in coming in. And I having parents in coming in. And I remember one of the first workshops I remember one of the first workshops I remember one of the first workshops I did with this with that particular did with this with that particular did with this with that particular school, we only had about two or three school, we only had about two or three school, we only had about two or three parents coming in. It was preparing for parents coming in. It was preparing for parents coming in. It was preparing for parents um getting this kids into go parents um getting this kids into go parents um getting this kids into go secondary school. How to prepare the secondary school. How to prepare the secondary school. How to prepare the children, what to expect and things children, what to expect and things children, what to expect and things like. I prepared all the workshop. I like. I prepared all the workshop. I like. I prepared all the workshop. I prepared the slides. I invited guests prepared the slides. I invited guests prepared the slides. I invited guests and unfortunately there were some issues and unfortunately there were some issues and unfortunately there were some issues around marketing and promoting it around marketing and promoting it around marketing and promoting it >> and only two or three people came. Mhm.

>> and only two or three people came. Mhm. >> and only two or three people came. Mhm. >> It was so disheartening >> It was so disheartening >> It was so disheartening >> and you put all that effort in. >> and you put all that effort in. >> and you put all that effort in. >> So much effort into any kind of >> So much effort into any kind of >> So much effort into any kind of workshops, isn't it really? Um workshops, isn't it really? Um workshops, isn't it really? Um >> and that still sometimes >> and that still sometimes >> and that still sometimes creeps back on me and I have to remind creeps back on me and I have to remind creeps back on me and I have to remind myself that was then I've learned so myself that was then I've learned so myself that was then I've learned so much from it and had to rewire myself much from it and had to rewire myself much from it and had to rewire myself all of the time and yeah so that was all of the time and yeah so that was all of the time and yeah so that was then and then co hit I left that role as then and then co hit I left that role as then and then co hit I left that role as a family support adviser.

a family support adviser. a family support adviser. I resigned and I thought I'm so I resigned and I thought I'm so I resigned and I thought I'm so experienced. I'm qualified. I've been in experienced. I'm qualified. I've been in experienced. I'm qualified. I've been in the education sector. I'll get the education sector. I'll get the education sector. I'll get something. something. something. Well, co hit and everybody was furow and Well, co hit and everybody was furow and Well, co hit and everybody was furow and there's many difficulties and I just I there's many difficulties and I just I there's many difficulties and I just I couldn't get a role. So, I kept looking couldn't get a role. So, I kept looking couldn't get a role. So, I kept looking at different kind of jobs and I just I at different kind of jobs and I just I at different kind of jobs and I just I just was struggling because everybody just was struggling because everybody just was struggling because everybody was looking for jobs and I even applied was looking for jobs and I even applied was looking for jobs and I even applied for something I never would have thought for something I never would have thought for something I never would have thought I'd apply for cuz I really wanted to I'd apply for cuz I really wanted to I'd apply for cuz I really wanted to help. I just wanted to help. Um as we help. I just wanted to help. Um as we help. I just wanted to help. Um as we know the people who take the call know the people who take the call know the people who take the call handlers of the ambulance. Yes.

handlers of the ambulance. Yes. handlers of the ambulance. Yes. >> They even give me an interview. >> They even give me an interview. >> They even give me an interview. >> Oh, [snorts and laughter] >> Oh, [snorts and laughter] >> Oh, [snorts and laughter] >> I was like, I'd be really good at that. >> I was like, I'd be really good at that. >> I was like, I'd be really good at that. I just take the calls and listen to what I just take the calls and listen to what I just take the calls and listen to what they need and then pass them on to the they need and then pass them on to the they need and then pass them on to the next person.

next person. next person. >> But again, I was really disappointed >> But again, I was really disappointed >> But again, I was really disappointed because I knew someone who who had that because I knew someone who who had that because I knew someone who who had that role and they said to me, it's it's good role and they said to me, it's it's good role and they said to me, it's it's good to stay at home remote role or you can to stay at home remote role or you can to stay at home remote role or you can go into office and it's quite safe and I go into office and it's quite safe and I go into office and it's quite safe and I just wanted to help to be honest. I just wanted to help to be honest. I just wanted to help to be honest. I wanted to help to do something within wanted to help to do something within wanted to help to do something within the within the co cuz I'd spent six the within the co cuz I'd spent six the within the co cuz I'd spent six seven months at home by that time. It seven months at home by that time. It seven months at home by that time. It was a lovely period to be honest. We had was a lovely period to be honest. We had was a lovely period to be honest. We had other than feeling a bit anxious about other than feeling a bit anxious about other than feeling a bit anxious about the numbers of deaths and things like the numbers of deaths and things like the numbers of deaths and things like that. It was a very very beautiful time that. It was a very very beautiful time that. It was a very very beautiful time for me and as a family of bonding for me and as a family of bonding for me and as a family of bonding together and reflecting cuz all the together and reflecting cuz all the together and reflecting cuz all the noise around us stopped.

noise around us stopped. noise around us stopped. >> It was like everything cuz I was usually >> It was like everything cuz I was usually >> It was like everything cuz I was usually so busy with work, home life, family so busy with work, home life, family so busy with work, home life, family life, my family near me. So I was always life, my family near me. So I was always life, my family near me. So I was always constantly busy. So all of a sudden when constantly busy. So all of a sudden when constantly busy. So all of a sudden when I wasn't seeing anyone, it was just the I wasn't seeing anyone, it was just the I wasn't seeing anyone, it was just the four of us. And it was such a beautiful four of us. And it was such a beautiful four of us. And it was such a beautiful period that I reflected. I started period that I reflected. I started period that I reflected. I started reading again.

reading again. reading again. >> Yeah. I picked up Nadi Hussein's book >> Yeah. I picked up Nadi Hussein's book >> Yeah. I picked up Nadi Hussein's book and that gave me and that gave me and that gave me lots of lots of things to reflect about lots of lots of things to reflect about lots of lots of things to reflect about in the sense that I realized I had there in the sense that I realized I had there in the sense that I realized I had there was a lot of things I didn't process was a lot of things I didn't process was a lot of things I didn't process >> and I realized there was some >> and I realized there was some >> and I realized there was some similarities that we had and some of the similarities that we had and some of the similarities that we had and some of the situation that she had been to been situation that she had been to been situation that she had been to been through and I'd been through and I just through and I'd been through and I just through and I'd been through and I just lots of because she's South Asian myself lots of because she's South Asian myself lots of because she's South Asian myself and South Asian. it had a lot in common and South Asian. it had a lot in common and South Asian. it had a lot in common and she made me realize like you can be and she made me realize like you can be and she made me realize like you can be really successful and have some really successful and have some really successful and have some emotional baggage and it's okay and that emotional baggage and it's okay and that emotional baggage and it's okay and that was one of the things that started my was one of the things that started my was one of the things that started my healing journey and then I read another healing journey and then I read another healing journey and then I read another book because I really had a moment and book because I really had a moment and book because I really had a moment and that book helped me the person I was that book helped me the person I was that book helped me the person I was reading about in that book helped me reading about in that book helped me reading about in that book helped me realize you can go through so many realize you can go through so many realize you can go through so many difficulties so many grief so many difficulties so many grief so many difficulties so many grief so many challenges you can have so much hatred challenges you can have so much hatred challenges you can have so much hatred on you and yet you can really shine you on you and yet you can really shine you on you and yet you can really shine you can smile smile and I kept reading it can smile smile and I kept reading it can smile smile and I kept reading it and I kept reading it and I kept asking and I kept reading it and I kept asking and I kept reading it and I kept asking question and I watched videos around it question and I watched videos around it question and I watched videos around it and I thought this person is absolutely and I thought this person is absolutely and I thought this person is absolutely incredible. I want to do more to be like incredible. I want to do more to be like incredible. I want to do more to be like this person and this person was the this person and this person was the this person and this person was the prophet Muhammad [laughter] prophet Muhammad [laughter] prophet Muhammad [laughter] peace be upon him. I read his I read his peace be upon him. I read his I read his peace be upon him. I read his I read his book and I read about his life and it book and I read about his life and it book and I read about his life and it really really helped me put a lot into really really helped me put a lot into really really helped me put a lot into perspective and that's when my perspective and that's when my perspective and that's when my >> healing journey really kind and that >> healing journey really kind and that >> healing journey really kind and that that healed me cuz before prior to that that healed me cuz before prior to that that healed me cuz before prior to that I had been into um therapy for many I had been into um therapy for many I had been into um therapy for many different things cuz I had really low different things cuz I had really low different things cuz I had really low self-esteem and I just felt something self-esteem and I just felt something self-esteem and I just felt something just wasn't right and I just wanted to just wasn't right and I just wanted to just wasn't right and I just wanted to go into get some support go into get some support go into get some support >> but when I went into counseling I >> but when I went into counseling I >> but when I went into counseling I couldn't open up. No, it's not for couldn't open up. No, it's not for couldn't open up. No, it's not for everybody, is it?

everybody, is it? everybody, is it? >> It's not. >> It's not. >> It's not. >> And after a few sessions, I just gave up >> And after a few sessions, I just gave up >> And after a few sessions, I just gave up and I thought, it's not working cuz I and I thought, it's not working cuz I and I thought, it's not working cuz I was working at part time at the time. was working at part time at the time. was working at part time at the time. And um Monday, Tuesday working. And And um Monday, Tuesday working. And And um Monday, Tuesday working. And Friday would be my morning. I'd go into Friday would be my morning. I'd go into Friday would be my morning. I'd go into East London up into North London to see East London up into North London to see East London up into North London to see a therapist who was recommended. And a therapist who was recommended. And a therapist who was recommended. And after a few sessions, I just wasn't I after a few sessions, I just wasn't I after a few sessions, I just wasn't I just wouldn't open up. She wouldn't get just wouldn't open up. She wouldn't get just wouldn't open up. She wouldn't get to the core problems.

to the core problems. to the core problems. >> And I just felt no, I I can't continue >> And I just felt no, I I can't continue >> And I just felt no, I I can't continue paying for something that just isn't paying for something that just isn't paying for something that just isn't helping me. So, I've got to find another helping me. So, I've got to find another helping me. So, I've got to find another alternative course. alternative course. alternative course. >> Many years later, when I read that book >> Many years later, when I read that book >> Many years later, when I read that book >> and I learned about mental health, I >> and I learned about mental health, I >> and I learned about mental health, I learned about awareness. I learned about learned about awareness. I learned about learned about awareness. I learned about what I was going through and everything what I was going through and everything what I was going through and everything just clicked and I thought, "Wow."

just clicked and I thought, "Wow." just clicked and I thought, "Wow." So, So, So, >> excellent. That's quite a journey. >> excellent. That's quite a journey. >> excellent. That's quite a journey. >> Like most life's journeys, it's a bit of >> Like most life's journeys, it's a bit of >> Like most life's journeys, it's a bit of a roller coaster, isn't it? a roller coaster, isn't it? a roller coaster, isn't it? >> 100%. Always up and down. >> 100%. Always up and down. >> 100%. Always up and down. >> Ups and downs, twists and turns.

>> Ups and downs, twists and turns. >> Ups and downs, twists and turns. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Not always knowing exactly what's going >> Not always knowing exactly what's going >> Not always knowing exactly what's going to come out the other end. to come out the other end. to come out the other end. >> No. And this is the beauty of it, isn't >> No. And this is the beauty of it, isn't >> No. And this is the beauty of it, isn't it? it? it? >> This is the richness of life, is it not? >> This is the richness of life, is it not?

>> This is the richness of life, is it not? >> 100%. I used to look at so many >> 100%. I used to look at so many >> 100%. I used to look at so many colleagues who'd been stuck in the same colleagues who'd been stuck in the same colleagues who'd been stuck in the same job for so many years and I just job for so many years and I just job for so many years and I just couldn't undercut. I after 2 three couldn't undercut. I after 2 three couldn't undercut. I after 2 three years, I had to get the itch. I just years, I had to get the itch. I just years, I had to get the itch. I just want to move. I want to do something. I want to move. I want to do something. I want to move. I want to do something. I was always putting myself out of the was always putting myself out of the was always putting myself out of the comfort zone. So after the co I found a comfort zone. So after the co I found a comfort zone. So after the co I found a role which was close to me in a role which was close to me in a role which was close to me in a secondary school and my daughter's secondary school and my daughter's secondary school and my daughter's school and this secondary school were school and this secondary school were school and this secondary school were very close to each other. So, I remember very close to each other. So, I remember very close to each other. So, I remember her saying to me, "I hope you get this her saying to me, "I hope you get this her saying to me, "I hope you get this job, mom, because um you'll be so close job, mom, because um you'll be so close job, mom, because um you'll be so close and you could just pick me up and you and you could just pick me up and you and you could just pick me up and you could drop me off and it would mean the could drop me off and it would mean the could drop me off and it would mean the world." And I thought, "Gosh, that would world." And I thought, "Gosh, that would world." And I thought, "Gosh, that would be amazing." And on this particular be amazing." And on this particular be amazing." And on this particular role, it was I applied for a role, but I role, it was I applied for a role, but I role, it was I applied for a role, but I didn't get that role. I got another role didn't get that role. I got another role didn't get that role. I got another role and I was interviewed on a Zoom, first and I was interviewed on a Zoom, first and I was interviewed on a Zoom, first ever Zoom interview.

ever Zoom interview. ever Zoom interview. >> And they interview, they actually took >> And they interview, they actually took >> And they interview, they actually took me on on the spot. me on on the spot. me on on the spot. >> Wonderful. So, you were back to >> Wonderful. So, you were back to >> Wonderful. So, you were back to >> I was back to school then. I was back to >> I was back to school then. I was back to >> I was back to school then. I was back to a school job. And this was secondary a school job. And this was secondary a school job. And this was secondary school. This was not primary school.

school. This was not primary school. school. This was not primary school. what I was used to and I mean many what I was used to and I mean many what I was used to and I mean many people said to me I don't think you people said to me I don't think you people said to me I don't think you should even apply for it because your should even apply for it because your should even apply for it because your your education and your background is your education and your background is your education and your background is all in primary and early years why would all in primary and early years why would all in primary and early years why would you even go through the the saga and the you even go through the the saga and the you even go through the the saga and the difficulties of application and the difficulties of application and the difficulties of application and the process because surely you're not going process because surely you're not going process because surely you're not going to get it I said well I'm going to apply to get it I said well I'm going to apply to get it I said well I'm going to apply for it anyway because I've got two I've for it anyway because I've got two I've for it anyway because I've got two I've got young people who are in my life I got young people who are in my life I got young people who are in my life I had my um family members and I had my had my um family members and I had my had my um family members and I had my son who's a teenager and I've got some son who's a teenager and I've got some son who's a teenager and I've got some experience and I will write about them experience and I will write about them experience and I will write about them in the application form in the application form in the application form >> yes [laughter] >> yes [laughter] >> yes [laughter] yeah you've got lived experience yeah you've got lived experience yeah you've got lived experience >> absolutely >> absolutely >> absolutely Absolutely. And I realized that I Absolutely. And I realized that I Absolutely. And I realized that I absolutely loved engaging with these absolutely loved engaging with these absolutely loved engaging with these teenagers.

teenagers. teenagers. >> I never thought I would.

Mental Health, Healing, and Personal Growth 16:50

>> I never thought I would. >> I never thought I would. >> No, cuz that is quite unusual because >> No, cuz that is quite unusual because >> No, cuz that is quite unusual because they can be awkward, can't they? They they can be awkward, can't they? They they can be awkward, can't they? They can be difficult. can be difficult. can be difficult. >> Absolutely. But I completely loved the >> Absolutely. But I completely loved the >> Absolutely. But I completely loved the engagement and they were really warm engagement and they were really warm engagement and they were really warm towards me as well. And it was their towards me as well. And it was their towards me as well. And it was their feedback that could me like um got me to feedback that could me like um got me to feedback that could me like um got me to explore what else could I do with this explore what else could I do with this explore what else could I do with this mentoring experience mentoring experience mentoring experience >> because you were I guess at that point >> because you were I guess at that point >> because you were I guess at that point consciously or not looking into the consciously or not looking into the consciously or not looking into the whole sort of well-being of the person.

whole sort of well-being of the person. whole sort of well-being of the person. >> Yes, absolutely. What I witnessed >> Yes, absolutely. What I witnessed >> Yes, absolutely. What I witnessed horrified me with the mental health of horrified me with the mental health of horrified me with the mental health of the young people. the young people. the young people. I I witnessed panic attacks I I witnessed panic attacks I I witnessed panic attacks at year 11 students and year eight at year 11 students and year eight at year 11 students and year eight students.

students. students. Um yeah, it was really really really Um yeah, it was really really really Um yeah, it was really really really difficult. difficult. difficult. >> One time I remember this year 11 >> One time I remember this year 11 >> One time I remember this year 11 student, she was about to go into an student, she was about to go into an student, she was about to go into an assessment. It wasn't even GCSEs and assessment. It wasn't even GCSEs and assessment. It wasn't even GCSEs and this was the year when co GCSEs were the this was the year when co GCSEs were the this was the year when co GCSEs were the scrapped you you weren't to do GCC exams scrapped you you weren't to do GCC exams scrapped you you weren't to do GCC exams that year. So she had I know her to be a that year. So she had I know her to be a that year. So she had I know her to be a very incredibly bright capable student very incredibly bright capable student very incredibly bright capable student and she was so nervous about coming to and she was so nervous about coming to and she was so nervous about coming to this assignment. Do you know those this assignment. Do you know those this assignment. Do you know those little like when you play basketball and little like when you play basketball and little like when you play basketball and football in the schools they've got like football in the schools they've got like football in the schools they've got like little cages with those little black little cages with those little black little cages with those little black fence lines. She was holding on to that.

fence lines. She was holding on to that. fence lines. She was holding on to that. all the other students had gone in and I all the other students had gone in and I all the other students had gone in and I remember like letting letting all the remember like letting letting all the remember like letting letting all the other students go in and she was had other students go in and she was had other students go in and she was had tears down her face and I I just went to tears down her face and I I just went to tears down her face and I I just went to her and I said look her and I said look her and I said look we can get through this let's walk we can get through this let's walk we can get through this let's walk together let me get you into class let together let me get you into class let together let me get you into class let get some water for you and I will get some water for you and I will get some water for you and I will because at that time if you were going because at that time if you were going because at that time if you were going to a class and you were late you would to a class and you were late you would to a class and you were late you would get um you would get into detention and get um you would get into detention and get um you would get into detention and you would get like points that they the you would get like points that they the you would get like points that they the negative points that they call it negative points that they call it negative points that they call it >> she didn't need that did she >> she didn't need that did she >> she didn't need that did she >> no abs but if a staff member was there >> no abs but if a staff member was there >> no abs but if a staff member was there with you it was Okay. Unless they you with you it was Okay. Unless they you with you it was Okay. Unless they you they could say, "Well, this so and so they could say, "Well, this so and so they could say, "Well, this so and so was with me and I was late because of was with me and I was late because of was with me and I was late because of that." They're very strict at all kinds that." They're very strict at all kinds that." They're very strict at all kinds of rules in secondary schools. So, I of rules in secondary schools. So, I of rules in secondary schools. So, I took her in, had her in the class really took her in, had her in the class really took her in, had her in the class really well. And then I dropped her in the well. And then I dropped her in the well. And then I dropped her in the class. And that's when I realized like class. And that's when I realized like class. And that's when I realized like this is really sad that she's so young, this is really sad that she's so young, this is really sad that she's so young, so capable, and she's confident young so capable, and she's confident young so capable, and she's confident young lady, and how is she feeling like this?

lady, and how is she feeling like this? lady, and how is she feeling like this? >> How is she so stressed? >> How is she so stressed? >> How is she so stressed? >> And that was one of the turning points. >> And that was one of the turning points. >> And that was one of the turning points. and of course the other year students and of course the other year students and of course the other year students who had other panic attacks and things who had other panic attacks and things who had other panic attacks and things and that's what led me to what I do now and that's what led me to what I do now and that's what led me to what I do now and it was so subconscious and I feel and it was so subconscious and I feel and it was so subconscious and I feel like everything happens at the right like everything happens at the right like everything happens at the right time and it planted a seed in me time and it planted a seed in me time and it planted a seed in me >> and yeah it was just shocking to see her >> and yeah it was just shocking to see her >> and yeah it was just shocking to see her >> after a few weeks she would come into >> after a few weeks she would come into >> after a few weeks she would come into the pastoral office she would have talk the pastoral office she would have talk the pastoral office she would have talk to me and all the other students who to me and all the other students who to me and all the other students who would and I would always gel with would and I would always gel with would and I would always gel with students who were seemed as disruptive students who were seemed as disruptive students who were seemed as disruptive or the difficult ones the naughty ones or the difficult ones the naughty ones or the difficult ones the naughty ones whatever whatever the words are, you whatever whatever the words are, you whatever whatever the words are, you know, all the know, all the know, all the >> and I would I was always have a way of >> and I would I was always have a way of >> and I would I was always have a way of just talking to them and just talking to them and just talking to them and >> just getting to know them a bit more and >> just getting to know them a bit more and >> just getting to know them a bit more and they would trust me and the disclosures they would trust me and the disclosures they would trust me and the disclosures would get from some of the young girls would get from some of the young girls would get from some of the young girls and boys some of the things and and then and boys some of the things and and then and boys some of the things and and then I have to sign sign it up, write it all I have to sign sign it up, write it all I have to sign sign it up, write it all about it, about it, about it, >> give it sign post to the right person.

>> give it sign post to the right person. >> give it sign post to the right person. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> The designated safeguarding lead. >> The designated safeguarding lead. >> The designated safeguarding lead. There's a lot of procedures in schools, There's a lot of procedures in schools, There's a lot of procedures in schools, >> but it was a very fascinating experience >> but it was a very fascinating experience >> but it was a very fascinating experience for me and to think I would never even for me and to think I would never even for me and to think I would never even applied for it cuz I'm more early years applied for it cuz I'm more early years applied for it cuz I'm more early years based. So challenging yourself is really based. So challenging yourself is really based. So challenging yourself is really important. Putting yourself out of important. Putting yourself out of important. Putting yourself out of >> and I did end up picking my daughter up >> and I did end up picking my daughter up >> and I did end up picking my daughter up from school every day. [laughter] It was from school every day. [laughter] It was from school every day. [laughter] It was so beautiful. That was a bonus. That was so beautiful. That was a bonus. That was so beautiful. That was a bonus. That was a bonus.

a bonus. a bonus. >> Yes. Yeah. For both of you. >> Yes. Yeah. For both of you. >> Yes. Yeah. For both of you. >> Yeah. That's lovely. And I I agree with >> Yeah. That's lovely. And I I agree with >> Yeah. That's lovely. And I I agree with you. I mean my personal belief is that you. I mean my personal belief is that you. I mean my personal belief is that the universe the universe the universe when we are open to receiving our next when we are open to receiving our next when we are open to receiving our next steps our guidance steps our guidance steps our guidance will provide will provide will provide you know so long as we are open to it you know so long as we are open to it you know so long as we are open to it >> and maybe that you know in my belief >> and maybe that you know in my belief >> and maybe that you know in my belief system that's what happened with you in system that's what happened with you in system that's what happened with you in that you know for whatever reason that you know for whatever reason that you know for whatever reason >> I love that you said that because you're >> I love that you said that because you're >> I love that you said that because you're right to say we have to be open right to say we have to be open right to say we have to be open >> we have to open and just listening even >> we have to open and just listening even >> we have to open and just listening even when you're out. Well, you have to when you're out. Well, you have to when you're out. Well, you have to listen to rustles of the leaves. That is listen to rustles of the leaves. That is listen to rustles of the leaves. That is just so beautiful.

just so beautiful. just so beautiful. >> You have to open. What is that voice >> You have to open. What is that voice >> You have to open. What is that voice telling me? What's going on? telling me? What's going on? telling me? What's going on? >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> So, even I had colleagues who were 20 >> So, even I had colleagues who were 20 >> So, even I had colleagues who were 20 years younger than me and everyone years younger than me and everyone years younger than me and everyone thought I was the same age as them thought I was the same age as them thought I was the same age as them [laughter] for some reason. And we used [laughter] for some reason. And we used [laughter] for some reason. And we used to all gel together and I used to be end to all gel together and I used to be end to all gel together and I used to be end up there some advice I would give to my up there some advice I would give to my up there some advice I would give to my younger colleagues. Oh, Rashida, you younger colleagues. Oh, Rashida, you younger colleagues. Oh, Rashida, you give such good advice. you give such give such good advice. you give such give such good advice. you give such good advice and you know I love hearing good advice and you know I love hearing good advice and you know I love hearing about they'd always come to me. Many of about they'd always come to me. Many of about they'd always come to me. Many of my colleagues would come to me about my colleagues would come to me about my colleagues would come to me about different situations and guidance on different situations and guidance on different situations and guidance on what they could be doing. Oh, I love what they could be doing. Oh, I love what they could be doing. Oh, I love hearing what you have to say. So that's hearing what you have to say. So that's hearing what you have to say. So that's when I thought, wow, I could really go when I thought, wow, I could really go when I thought, wow, I could really go into life coaching. Maybe into life coaching. Maybe into life coaching. Maybe >> I could go into mentoring and life >> I could go into mentoring and life >> I could go into mentoring and life coaching. Maybe there's something more I coaching. Maybe there's something more I coaching. Maybe there's something more I could do with this. And then I just kept could do with this. And then I just kept could do with this. And then I just kept applying for other jobs. And I still applying for other jobs. And I still applying for other jobs. And I still again I wasn't getting those jobs that I again I wasn't getting those jobs that I again I wasn't getting those jobs that I really wished for. And that's when I really wished for. And that's when I really wished for. And that's when I went into the entrepreneurial business went into the entrepreneurial business went into the entrepreneurial business course course course >> and I thought, well, let's see if I can >> and I thought, well, let's see if I can >> and I thought, well, let's see if I can do my own thing.

do my own thing. do my own thing. >> Yeah, because there's no space for the >> Yeah, because there's no space for the >> Yeah, because there's no space for the table. table. table. >> I'd make my own table and chairs like >> I'd make my own table and chairs like >> I'd make my own table and chairs like I'll sort myself out some I'll do I'll sort myself out some I'll do I'll sort myself out some I'll do something else. There must be something something else. There must be something something else. There must be something more to this. And I thought God must be more to this. And I thought God must be more to this. And I thought God must be guiding me to something else.

guiding me to something else. guiding me to something else. >> Maybe the employ being employed and >> Maybe the employ being employed and >> Maybe the employ being employed and being in uh schools is done. I'm done being in uh schools is done. I'm done being in uh schools is done. I'm done with jobs and maybe I need to start with jobs and maybe I need to start with jobs and maybe I need to start doing entrepreneurship. I start doing entrepreneurship. I start doing entrepreneurship. I start something on my own. I didn't know what something on my own. I didn't know what something on my own. I didn't know what at that point. I didn't know have any at that point. I didn't know have any at that point. I didn't know have any idea. I looked into how people are doing idea. I looked into how people are doing idea. I looked into how people are doing life coaching and I thought if people life coaching and I thought if people life coaching and I thought if people are saying I'm good at g at giving are saying I'm good at g at giving are saying I'm good at g at giving advice surely I could go into life advice surely I could go into life advice surely I could go into life coaching.

coaching. coaching. >> That's a very logical thought process >> That's a very logical thought process >> That's a very logical thought process but where did you actually end up? but where did you actually end up? but where did you actually end up? [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] >> Well so my name Rashida means rightly >> Well so my name Rashida means rightly >> Well so my name Rashida means rightly guided and so my I'm the founder of guided and so my I'm the founder of guided and so my I'm the founder of rightly guided academy.

rightly guided academy. rightly guided academy. >> Oh I love that. >> Oh I love that. >> Oh I love that. >> I teach people personal development. I >> I teach people personal development. I >> I teach people personal development. I teach confidence, self-love. teach confidence, self-love. teach confidence, self-love. I teach public speaking to beginners. I teach public speaking to beginners. I teach public speaking to beginners. I teach all and parenting is a big thing I teach all and parenting is a big thing I teach all and parenting is a big thing cuz my background is obviously early cuz my background is obviously early cuz my background is obviously early years parenting consultant.

years parenting consultant. years parenting consultant. And I do that with so much passion and And I do that with so much passion and And I do that with so much passion and joy that that service that brings me joy that that service that brings me joy that that service that brings me joy. I completely love it. And so at joy. I completely love it. And so at joy. I completely love it. And so at that point when after I did the course I that point when after I did the course I that point when after I did the course I started doing some open up my join the started doing some open up my join the started doing some open up my join the academy another business academy and I academy another business academy and I academy another business academy and I really was fearful about showing up on really was fearful about showing up on really was fearful about showing up on social media my colleagues used said to social media my colleagues used said to social media my colleagues used said to me Rashida when I see WhatsApp pictures me Rashida when I see WhatsApp pictures me Rashida when I see WhatsApp pictures I only see pictures of your kids I never I only see pictures of your kids I never I only see pictures of your kids I never see you cuz I struggled with a lot of see you cuz I struggled with a lot of see you cuz I struggled with a lot of self-loathing self-loathing self-loathing low self-esteem selfhate low self-esteem selfhate low self-esteem selfhate and I didn't want to put myself out and I didn't want to put myself out and I didn't want to put myself out there even in social media profile there even in social media profile there even in social media profile So when I was in the room with other So when I was in the room with other So when I was in the room with other people who are on similar journeys people who are on similar journeys people who are on similar journeys overcoming difficulties and challenges overcoming difficulties and challenges overcoming difficulties and challenges and that's when I thought well let me and that's when I thought well let me and that's when I thought well let me see what else I could do and I was see what else I could do and I was see what else I could do and I was encouraged by others and we got the encouraged by others and we got the encouraged by others and we got the support that we needed and I started support that we needed and I started support that we needed and I started showing up on social media. I started showing up on social media. I started showing up on social media. I started having my first posts on there and I having my first posts on there and I having my first posts on there and I started to overcome low self-esteem started to overcome low self-esteem started to overcome low self-esteem because because because few months after that few months after that few months after that when I decided that I wanted to go into when I decided that I wanted to go into when I decided that I wanted to go into my business we were into I thought I my business we were into I thought I my business we were into I thought I still wasn't sure I thought should I still wasn't sure I thought should I still wasn't sure I thought should I should not I should I knew that's a should not I should I knew that's a should not I should I knew that's a right a logical thing to do and I should right a logical thing to do and I should right a logical thing to do and I should do it do it do it >> but something was still stopping me >> but something was still stopping me >> but something was still stopping me there was a barrier there was something there was a barrier there was something there was a barrier there was something there that I just couldn't figure out.

there that I just couldn't figure out. there that I just couldn't figure out. And I decided I was going to leave that And I decided I was going to leave that And I decided I was going to leave that secondary school role and just start secondary school role and just start secondary school role and just start fresh because I had been applying for so fresh because I had been applying for so fresh because I had been applying for so many jobs. It wasn't happening. I want many jobs. It wasn't happening. I want many jobs. It wasn't happening. I want to start a business. So, I'm going to to start a business. So, I'm going to to start a business. So, I'm going to start. And I left December 2021 the start. And I left December 2021 the start. And I left December 2021 the role. And January 2022, I decided, I'm role. And January 2022, I decided, I'm role. And January 2022, I decided, I'm going to start a new role. I'm going to going to start a new role. I'm going to going to start a new role. I'm going to do a new business. I'm going to do I'll do a new business. I'm going to do I'll do a new business. I'm going to do I'll figure something out. I'll take a break.

figure something out. I'll take a break. figure something out. I'll take a break. First of all, I found myself invited to First of all, I found myself invited to First of all, I found myself invited to a family wedding and really excited to a family wedding and really excited to a family wedding and really excited to go to this wedding. And as I was booked go to this wedding. And as I was booked go to this wedding. And as I was booked a taxi to go to buy something and to buy a taxi to go to buy something and to buy a taxi to go to buy something and to buy some new outfits for the event, but this some new outfits for the event, but this some new outfits for the event, but this on my left, I could see a big pile of on my left, I could see a big pile of on my left, I could see a big pile of sand, construction sand, as we're going sand, construction sand, as we're going sand, construction sand, as we're going past. As we were driving along, we there past. As we were driving along, we there past. As we were driving along, we there was a collision. Suddenly there was a was a collision. Suddenly there was a was a collision. Suddenly there was a major collision and I found myself I major collision and I found myself I major collision and I found myself I could hear the driver saying his prayers could hear the driver saying his prayers could hear the driver saying his prayers and I started saying my prayers and I and I started saying my prayers and I and I started saying my prayers and I was really really worried on what was was really really worried on what was was really really worried on what was going to happen. I was conscious that I going to happen. I was conscious that I going to happen. I was conscious that I left my husband and my children at home left my husband and my children at home left my husband and my children at home and I was on my own. I had a few other and I was on my own. I had a few other and I was on my own. I had a few other family members with me. I mean my direct family members with me. I mean my direct family members with me. I mean my direct family wasn't with me family wasn't with me family wasn't with me >> and once we thought everyone was safe >> and once we thought everyone was safe >> and once we thought everyone was safe and I didn't even pass out. I suddenly and I didn't even pass out. I suddenly and I didn't even pass out. I suddenly found myself okay at that moment. I found myself okay at that moment. I found myself okay at that moment. I thought I was going to be gone. I was thought I was going to be gone. I was thought I was going to be gone. I was going to leave my leave this world, going to leave my leave this world, going to leave my leave this world, leave my family and children. And I just leave my family and children. And I just leave my family and children. And I just thought, "Wow, everything's okay."

thought, "Wow, everything's okay." thought, "Wow, everything's okay." >> How scary that. >> How scary that. >> How scary that. >> It was so scary. It was so scary. And >> It was so scary. It was so scary. And >> It was so scary. It was so scary. And there was that pile of sand. Had it not there was that pile of sand. Had it not there was that pile of sand. Had it not been there, our vehicle would have gone been there, our vehicle would have gone been there, our vehicle would have gone even further down. And that pile of sand even further down. And that pile of sand even further down. And that pile of sand is that would have that stopped the is that would have that stopped the is that would have that stopped the vehicle going even further down. Um, I vehicle going even further down. Um, I vehicle going even further down. Um, I was in so much shock. I didn't realize was in so much shock. I didn't realize was in so much shock. I didn't realize what was really going on.

what was really going on. what was really going on. >> Phone my husband. He arranged for a >> Phone my husband. He arranged for a >> Phone my husband. He arranged for a vehicle to take us back, take her to the vehicle to take us back, take her to the vehicle to take us back, take her to the hospital. got to the hospital. Deb said, hospital. got to the hospital. Deb said, hospital. got to the hospital. Deb said, "Would you believe I just had an "Would you believe I just had an "Would you believe I just had an accident?" And I said, "I'm going to I'm accident?" And I said, "I'm going to I'm accident?" And I said, "I'm going to I'm fine." They got wheelchair out for me.

fine." They got wheelchair out for me. fine." They got wheelchair out for me. I'm like, "No, no, no. I'm fine. I'm I'm like, "No, no, no. I'm fine. I'm I'm like, "No, no, no. I'm fine. I'm going to walk like, "No, madam. I think going to walk like, "No, madam. I think going to walk like, "No, madam. I think you need to sit down. You had a major you need to sit down. You had a major you need to sit down. You had a major accident." And I actually um was covered accident." And I actually um was covered accident." And I actually um was covered in sand at this point. Only some people in sand at this point. Only some people in sand at this point. Only some people told me afterwards. And I didn't realize told me afterwards. And I didn't realize told me afterwards. And I didn't realize I could see loads of people looking at I could see loads of people looking at I could see loads of people looking at me, but I wasn't sure what they're me, but I wasn't sure what they're me, but I wasn't sure what they're looking. [laughter] looking. [laughter] looking. [laughter] I was covered in construction sand I was covered in construction sand I was covered in construction sand everywhere. Only afterwards I found out.

everywhere. Only afterwards I found out. everywhere. Only afterwards I found out. And so I went in and they did the X-ray And so I went in and they did the X-ray And so I went in and they did the X-ray and I had collar collarblown and and I had collar collarblown and and I had collar collarblown and fracture and I had nerve damage. I had fracture and I had nerve damage. I had fracture and I had nerve damage. I had spine issues. I had I was in so much spine issues. I had I was in so much spine issues. I had I was in so much pain pain pain >> that they give me sleeping tablets to >> that they give me sleeping tablets to >> that they give me sleeping tablets to fall asleep. I don't want tablets. I fall asleep. I don't want tablets. I fall asleep. I don't want tablets. I don't need tablets. Like no it's just don't need tablets. Like no it's just don't need tablets. Like no it's just something to relax you. fell asleep and something to relax you. fell asleep and something to relax you. fell asleep and then the next day I was told exactly then the next day I was told exactly then the next day I was told exactly what happened and um everything all the what happened and um everything all the what happened and um everything all the injuries I had injuries I had injuries I had to think that I couldn't accept helped to think that I couldn't accept helped to think that I couldn't accept helped even though I've been through the even though I've been through the even though I've been through the accident and that leads me to the next accident and that leads me to the next accident and that leads me to the next part and I wasn't able to do a lot for part and I wasn't able to do a lot for part and I wasn't able to do a lot for myself super independent Rashida wasn't myself super independent Rashida wasn't myself super independent Rashida wasn't able to even brush her hair or go to able to even brush her hair or go to able to even brush her hair or go to rest or get into bed or get out of bed rest or get into bed or get out of bed rest or get into bed or get out of bed >> or or even feed yourself properly you >> or or even feed yourself properly you >> or or even feed yourself properly you know like things I do I was able to walk know like things I do I was able to walk know like things I do I was able to walk but my upper body there was very little but my upper body there was very little but my upper body there was very little strength And um it was just strength And um it was just strength And um it was just >> so awful. And I felt I felt I felt >> so awful. And I felt I felt I felt >> so awful. And I felt I felt I felt really grateful. First of all, I felt really grateful. First of all, I felt really grateful. First of all, I felt really grateful that I had survived. And really grateful that I had survived. And really grateful that I had survived. And when people came to visit me, I'm like when people came to visit me, I'm like when people came to visit me, I'm like and they'd be like looking at me all and they'd be like looking at me all and they'd be like looking at me all like feeling sorry and stuff. I'm like, like feeling sorry and stuff. I'm like, like feeling sorry and stuff. I'm like, but it's okay because I'm okay. I'm but it's okay because I'm okay. I'm but it's okay because I'm okay. I'm okay.

okay. okay. >> I'm like, but we're supposed to be >> I'm like, but we're supposed to be >> I'm like, but we're supposed to be comforting you and you're comforting us. comforting you and you're comforting us. comforting you and you're comforting us. [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] >> That's your lovely nature. That's what >> That's your lovely nature. That's what >> That's your lovely nature. That's what that is. that is. that is. And I remember thinking And I remember thinking And I remember thinking I had one day had tears running down my I had one day had tears running down my I had one day had tears running down my face and I my husband was actually face and I my husband was actually face and I my husband was actually caring for me and I said to him how long caring for me and I said to him how long caring for me and I said to him how long are you going to put this put up with are you going to put this put up with are you going to put this put up with this for? How long you going to keep this for? How long you going to keep this for? How long you going to keep continue doing this for? And what he continue doing this for? And what he continue doing this for? And what he said to me really moved me he said I said to me really moved me he said I said to me really moved me he said I will continue doing this as long as you will continue doing this as long as you will continue doing this as long as you need me and you will get better. I need me and you will get better. I need me and you will get better. I didn't believe him for a minute that didn't believe him for a minute that didn't believe him for a minute that will get better and here I am 2 3 years will get better and here I am 2 3 years will get better and here I am 2 3 years down the road. um hiking, cycling, down the road. um hiking, cycling, down the road. um hiking, cycling, running my own business, speaking running my own business, speaking running my own business, speaking like I couldn't imagine feeling better like I couldn't imagine feeling better like I couldn't imagine feeling better cuz I was in so many I couldn't sleep cuz I was in so many I couldn't sleep cuz I was in so many I couldn't sleep all night, Debs.

all night, Debs. all night, Debs. >> So that not sleeping all night and the >> So that not sleeping all night and the >> So that not sleeping all night and the accident was a huge gift. accident was a huge gift. accident was a huge gift. >> The gift when I say this people like >> The gift when I say this people like >> The gift when I say this people like what do you mean it's a gift? When I say what do you mean it's a gift? When I say what do you mean it's a gift? When I say gift, I mean because it gave me so much

Launching a Coaching Business 28:30

gift, I mean because it gave me so much gift, I mean because it gave me so much reflection. It gave me reflect on my reflection. It gave me reflect on my reflection. It gave me reflect on my life, what I wanted to do. I felt was a life, what I wanted to do. I felt was a life, what I wanted to do. I felt was a second chance. That was a huge chance to second chance. That was a huge chance to second chance. That was a huge chance to start over. Now I was sure I was going start over. Now I was sure I was going start over. Now I was sure I was going to start my business. Now I was sure to start my business. Now I was sure to start my business. Now I was sure that I was going to find my passions and that I was going to find my passions and that I was going to find my passions and continue following my passions because I continue following my passions because I continue following my passions because I could have left this world. I could have could have left this world. I could have could have left this world. I could have gone and yet here I am. And I kept gone and yet here I am. And I kept gone and yet here I am. And I kept saying why did God save me? What was saying why did God save me? What was saying why did God save me? What was this? Not in a way like I didn't want to this? Not in a way like I didn't want to this? Not in a way like I didn't want to be here but sense like what is this?

be here but sense like what is this? be here but sense like what is this? >> So that pain brought me to my passion. >> So that pain brought me to my passion. >> So that pain brought me to my passion. Purpose and passion all combined Purpose and passion all combined Purpose and passion all combined together to then now do what I do. And together to then now do what I do. And together to then now do what I do. And that was probably the biggest gifts, the that was probably the biggest gifts, the that was probably the biggest gifts, the accident, the pain. The pain brought accident, the pain. The pain brought accident, the pain. The pain brought purpose.

purpose. purpose. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And then it helped me understand my >> And then it helped me understand my >> And then it helped me understand my emotional pain cuz I I was under emotional pain cuz I I was under emotional pain cuz I I was under physical pain. I wasn't able to sleep physical pain. I wasn't able to sleep physical pain. I wasn't able to sleep very much. So in for me to get out of very much. So in for me to get out of very much. So in for me to get out of bed, I needed my husband or someone to bed, I needed my husband or someone to bed, I needed my husband or someone to get me out of bed cuz I had no upper get me out of bed cuz I had no upper get me out of bed cuz I had no upper body strength.

body strength. body strength. >> So it was just something I'd never >> So it was just something I'd never >> So it was just something I'd never experienced. I I was super independent. experienced. I I was super independent. experienced. I I was super independent. And of course is a I realized it was a And of course is a I realized it was a And of course is a I realized it was a trauma response. I couldn't accept help. trauma response. I couldn't accept help. trauma response. I couldn't accept help. That accent taught me to accept help That accent taught me to accept help That accent taught me to accept help from the moment I went in hospital to from the moment I went in hospital to from the moment I went in hospital to then good two to three weeks I needed then good two to three weeks I needed then good two to three weeks I needed help and then slowly started the pain help and then slowly started the pain help and then slowly started the pain started to get better and knowing it's started to get better and knowing it's started to get better and knowing it's okay. So I couldn't do ironing and I okay. So I couldn't do ironing and I okay. So I couldn't do ironing and I couldn't do like proper deep cleaning couldn't do like proper deep cleaning couldn't do like proper deep cleaning and it's okay. I had to learn to take a and it's okay. I had to learn to take a and it's okay. I had to learn to take a break from everything. Slow down, ask break from everything. Slow down, ask break from everything. Slow down, ask for help and accept it.

for help and accept it. for help and accept it. >> It's about being open to receive again, >> It's about being open to receive again, >> It's about being open to receive again, isn't it? isn't it? isn't it? >> Yeah. Yeah. which is really hard when >> Yeah. Yeah. which is really hard when >> Yeah. Yeah. which is really hard when you're used to doing everything you're used to doing everything you're used to doing everything yourself, isn't it? yourself, isn't it? yourself, isn't it? >> Absolutely.

>> Absolutely. >> Absolutely. >> Yeah. [sighs] >> Yeah. [sighs] >> Yeah. [sighs] >> So, it was incredible that pain what it >> So, it was incredible that pain what it >> So, it was incredible that pain what it brought. brought. brought. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And on all this reflection, was this the And on all this reflection, was this the And on all this reflection, was this the time you started thinking time you started thinking time you started thinking about the concept of the book or was it about the concept of the book or was it about the concept of the book or was it just I need to get a message out there just I need to get a message out there just I need to get a message out there or or or >> so at that point it wasn't the I wanted >> so at that point it wasn't the I wanted >> so at that point it wasn't the I wanted to be an author from 2017. I remember to be an author from 2017. I remember to be an author from 2017. I remember speaking to one of my colleagues and I speaking to one of my colleagues and I speaking to one of my colleagues and I said to her, I really want to write a said to her, I really want to write a said to her, I really want to write a book because I want to write a book all book because I want to write a book all book because I want to write a book all about my experience in the education about my experience in the education about my experience in the education sector, all the different families I met sector, all the different families I met sector, all the different families I met along the way, all the different along the way, all the different along the way, all the different community service and and amazing community service and and amazing community service and and amazing experiences that I had because I was I experiences that I had because I was I experiences that I had because I was I was actually very inspired by the series was actually very inspired by the series was actually very inspired by the series called the midwife.

called the midwife. called the midwife. >> Ah, >> Ah, >> Ah, >> and the author, the name's gone from my >> and the author, the name's gone from my >> and the author, the name's gone from my mind now. Something Lee her her name. mind now. Something Lee her her name. mind now. Something Lee her her name. >> Yeah, don't ask me. I'm terrible with >> Yeah, don't ask me. I'm terrible with >> Yeah, don't ask me. I'm terrible with names. So she's the author of the book names. So she's the author of the book names. So she's the author of the book and that book came into a TV series, and that book came into a TV series, and that book came into a TV series, didn't it?

didn't it? didn't it? >> Yes, it did. >> Yes, it did. >> Yes, it did. >> And that was all about community >> And that was all about community >> And that was all about community service, East London. I'm East London. service, East London. I'm East London. service, East London. I'm East London. >> And I thought, oh, I could write I could >> And I thought, oh, I could write I could >> And I thought, oh, I could write I could do something like that. And that's when do something like that. And that's when do something like that. And that's when I wanted, but because I had really low I wanted, but because I had really low I wanted, but because I had really low selfworth and really low self-esteem, I selfworth and really low self-esteem, I selfworth and really low self-esteem, I just couldn't pursue it. So I remember just couldn't pursue it. So I remember just couldn't pursue it. So I remember writing a children's book with my writing a children's book with my writing a children's book with my daughter's name on it. But again, I daughter's name on it. But again, I daughter's name on it. But again, I wrote it and I just left it wrote it and I just left it wrote it and I just left it >> left it aside. And I just thought >> left it aside. And I just thought >> left it aside. And I just thought so the book concept came much later so the book concept came much later so the book concept came much later after I started doing life coaching and after I started doing life coaching and after I started doing life coaching and I realized I don't like doing onetoone.

I realized I don't like doing onetoone. I realized I don't like doing onetoone. It's exhausting. I want to do one to It's exhausting. I want to do one to It's exhausting. I want to do one to many. So I did my first workshop in 2022 many. So I did my first workshop in 2022 many. So I did my first workshop in 2022 summer 2022 and the people who attended summer 2022 and the people who attended summer 2022 and the people who attended loved it. They wanted more topics. They loved it. They wanted more topics. They loved it. They wanted more topics. They wanted more. And then I did something wanted more. And then I did something wanted more. And then I did something about confidence and I thought this is about confidence and I thought this is about confidence and I thought this is it. That's when I found a huge turning it. That's when I found a huge turning it. That's when I found a huge turning point and it was like fuel. It was fuel point and it was like fuel. It was fuel point and it was like fuel. It was fuel for me to continue because the people for me to continue because the people for me to continue because the people loved it that attended and those loved it that attended and those loved it that attended and those sessions really helped me. I created sessions really helped me. I created sessions really helped me. I created slides myself. Everything was in my I slides myself. Everything was in my I slides myself. Everything was in my I had one very kind volunteer who would had one very kind volunteer who would had one very kind volunteer who would help me and outreach and bring people help me and outreach and bring people help me and outreach and bring people into the events and once people came into the events and once people came into the events and once people came they other people bring other people in.

they other people bring other people in. they other people bring other people in. And when I did the confidence workshop I And when I did the confidence workshop I And when I did the confidence workshop I shared my journey and how at school I shared my journey and how at school I shared my journey and how at school I was not very confident. All of my school was not very confident. All of my school was not very confident. All of my school teachers will say, "Oh, Rashid needs to teachers will say, "Oh, Rashid needs to teachers will say, "Oh, Rashid needs to learn and have more confidence. Rashid learn and have more confidence. Rashid learn and have more confidence. Rashid needs to practice and practice on needs to practice and practice on needs to practice and practice on confidence and practice and have more confidence and practice and have more confidence and practice and have more confidence." And that's and then to a confidence." And that's and then to a confidence." And that's and then to a journey where I'm actually public journey where I'm actually public journey where I'm actually public speaking. I I didn't recognize it as speaking. I I didn't recognize it as speaking. I I didn't recognize it as public speaking. I wrote it as I'm doing public speaking. I wrote it as I'm doing public speaking. I wrote it as I'm doing workshops. I'm teaching.

workshops. I'm teaching. workshops. I'm teaching. >> Oh, you educated. That's wonderful. >> Oh, you educated. That's wonderful. >> Oh, you educated. That's wonderful. >> So, I never thought of it as public >> So, I never thought of it as public >> So, I never thought of it as public speaking. The thought of public speaking speaking. The thought of public speaking speaking. The thought of public speaking actually would terrify me cuz we had actually would terrify me cuz we had actually would terrify me cuz we had school trainings and we'd see the head school trainings and we'd see the head school trainings and we'd see the head teacher in front of everyone's speaking teacher in front of everyone's speaking teacher in front of everyone's speaking and I'd look I think I could never do and I'd look I think I could never do and I'd look I think I could never do that. Oh, don't do that.

that. Oh, don't do that. that. Oh, don't do that. So, I never talk looked at into public So, I never talk looked at into public So, I never talk looked at into public speaking. But then I love the actual speaking. But then I love the actual speaking. But then I love the actual teaching of what my experiences were. teaching of what my experiences were. teaching of what my experiences were. Teaching confidence, teaching, Teaching confidence, teaching, Teaching confidence, teaching, parenting, teaching, anything that I parenting, teaching, anything that I parenting, teaching, anything that I loved loved loved people to grow. I wanted to people to people to grow. I wanted to people to people to grow. I wanted to people to grow. I wanted people to know my grow. I wanted people to know my grow. I wanted people to know my experiences. And that's when I thought, experiences. And that's when I thought, experiences. And that's when I thought, I've got to do more about this. So, that I've got to do more about this. So, that I've got to do more about this. So, that was March 2023. And then I did the was March 2023. And then I did the was March 2023. And then I did the public speaking course in November 2023.

public speaking course in November 2023. public speaking course in November 2023. I thought I want to do more and I I thought I want to do more and I I thought I want to do more and I recognized it as public speaking. I recognized it as public speaking. I recognized it as public speaking. I recognized my confidence grew and I recognized my confidence grew and I recognized my confidence grew and I realized how much I really loved sharing realized how much I really loved sharing realized how much I really loved sharing all of those gems.

all of those gems. all of those gems. >> And and that's when 2023 was a year I >> And and that's when 2023 was a year I >> And and that's when 2023 was a year I thought no public speaker I am a public thought no public speaker I am a public thought no public speaker I am a public speaker. And that's when I reframed speaker. And that's when I reframed speaker. And that's when I reframed again. again. again. >> I did what was comfortable for me then. >> I did what was comfortable for me then. >> I did what was comfortable for me then. >> Yes. Absolutely.

>> Yes. Absolutely. >> Yes. Absolutely. >> So then when I had more confidence I was >> So then when I had more confidence I was >> So then when I had more confidence I was happy to use the word public speaker. happy to use the word public speaker. happy to use the word public speaker. Yeah. You were able to step into Yeah. You were able to step into Yeah. You were able to step into >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> your brilliance. >> your brilliance. >> your brilliance. >> Absolutely. So the book came much later >> Absolutely. So the book came much later >> Absolutely. So the book came much later on.

on. on. I knew I wanted to write a book and then I knew I wanted to write a book and then I knew I wanted to write a book and then I had a calling. I just had the feeling. I had a calling. I just had the feeling. I had a calling. I just had the feeling. I was speaking to my children. My son is I was speaking to my children. My son is I was speaking to my children. My son is 18, my daughter is 14 now, but at the 18, my daughter is 14 now, but at the 18, my daughter is 14 now, but at the time they're a little bit younger before time they're a little bit younger before time they're a little bit younger before I started the book and some of the I started the book and some of the I started the book and some of the conversations I've been having and I'd conversations I've been having and I'd conversations I've been having and I'd be mentoring the young girls, mentees be mentoring the young girls, mentees be mentoring the young girls, mentees 14, 13. what I've been recommended to 14, 13. what I've been recommended to 14, 13. what I've been recommended to because you've worked in school, we want because you've worked in school, we want because you've worked in school, we want you to help our young girls. And so when you to help our young girls. And so when you to help our young girls. And so when I was mentoring some of the things that I was mentoring some of the things that I was mentoring some of the things that they were talking to me, it was very they were talking to me, it was very they were talking to me, it was very concerning.

concerning. concerning. >> So they were selfharming >> So they were selfharming >> So they were selfharming and [sighs] they were and [sighs] they were and [sighs] they were they just carry so much low self-esteem they just carry so much low self-esteem they just carry so much low self-esteem and low self worth. For a person who's and low self worth. For a person who's and low self worth. For a person who's been through that, been through that, been through that, >> I just wanted to do more >> I just wanted to do more >> I just wanted to do more >> and I wanted to do more than instead of >> and I wanted to do more than instead of >> and I wanted to do more than instead of doing one to one, I thought if I could doing one to one, I thought if I could doing one to one, I thought if I could write a book, I could do more than that.

write a book, I could do more than that. write a book, I could do more than that. I just could do so much more than that. I just could do so much more than that. I just could do so much more than that. So that I kept looking for publishers. I So that I kept looking for publishers. I So that I kept looking for publishers. I kept looking. So I went in within our kept looking. So I went in within our kept looking. So I went in within our network, network, network, >> found the right publisher within our >> found the right publisher within our >> found the right publisher within our network. And it just felt right. It felt network. And it just felt right. It felt network. And it just felt right. It felt right time. And when I was at the public right time. And when I was at the public right time. And when I was at the public speaking course, people kept asking me, speaking course, people kept asking me, speaking course, people kept asking me, "Oh, what's your name of your book?" I "Oh, what's your name of your book?" I "Oh, what's your name of your book?" I don't have a book. Oh, I thought you don't have a book. Oh, I thought you don't have a book. Oh, I thought you were an author. Two, three people said were an author. Two, three people said were an author. Two, three people said that to me. And then I had my own events that to me. And then I had my own events that to me. And then I had my own events like I would have other people's books like I would have other people's books like I would have other people's books there. Oh, is that your book? Oh, I there. Oh, is that your book? Oh, I there. Oh, is that your book? Oh, I thought you would have written a book, thought you would have written a book, thought you would have written a book, too. [laughter] too. [laughter] too. [laughter] I thought, well, this is this is a sign.

I thought, well, this is this is a sign. I thought, well, this is this is a sign. This is a sign. The universe is This is a sign. The universe is This is a sign. The universe is repeatedly telling me. [laughter] repeatedly telling me. [laughter] repeatedly telling me. [laughter] >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> Exactly. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Um and it came from an um deeper the >> Um and it came from an um deeper the >> Um and it came from an um deeper the book is is it's a place where I just book is is it's a place where I just book is is it's a place where I just speak from love.

speak from love. speak from love. >> Not as a teacher, not as a parent, not >> Not as a teacher, not as a parent, not >> Not as a teacher, not as a parent, not in a lecture base, but a non-judgmental in a lecture base, but a non-judgmental in a lecture base, but a non-judgmental space where it's okay. I've got this. space where it's okay. I've got this. space where it's okay. I've got this. And I went through X, Y, and Z. I can And I went through X, Y, and Z. I can And I went through X, Y, and Z. I can help you.

help you. help you. >> It made me reflect on the times that I I >> It made me reflect on the times that I I >> It made me reflect on the times that I I was self harming. I self harm for 18 was self harming. I self harm for 18 was self harming. I self harm for 18 years and it all came from a place of years and it all came from a place of years and it all came from a place of stress. I was every time I was felt stress. I was every time I was felt stress. I was every time I was felt really really stressed, things that were really really stressed, things that were really really stressed, things that were not out of my terms were not in my not out of my terms were not in my not out of my terms were not in my control. I would use self harm as coping control. I would use self harm as coping control. I would use self harm as coping mechanism. Once I understood that was mechanism. Once I understood that was mechanism. Once I understood that was not a healthy coping mechanism. I I

Writing the Book and Reaching Young People 35:40

not a healthy coping mechanism. I I not a healthy coping mechanism. I I started to get better and all the started to get better and all the started to get better and all the reading. I didn't have therapy. I didn't reading. I didn't have therapy. I didn't reading. I didn't have therapy. I didn't take medication. I overcame self harm take medication. I overcame self harm take medication. I overcame self harm through understanding mental health through understanding mental health through understanding mental health through understanding what is through understanding what is through understanding what is self-compassion. And that was through self-compassion. And that was through self-compassion. And that was through reading. reading as well as um other reading. reading as well as um other reading. reading as well as um other courses and that's what helped me. It courses and that's what helped me. It courses and that's what helped me. It wasn't about because I've been to um wasn't about because I've been to um wasn't about because I've been to um therapy didn't help. I couldn't open up.

therapy didn't help. I couldn't open up. therapy didn't help. I couldn't open up. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And nobody even used the terms of I >> And nobody even used the terms of I >> And nobody even used the terms of I think you might be coping. When I said think you might be coping. When I said think you might be coping. When I said to I don't I don't feel enough. I don't to I don't I don't feel enough. I don't to I don't I don't feel enough. I don't feel good enough Muslim. I don't feel feel good enough Muslim. I don't feel feel good enough Muslim. I don't feel good enough wife. I don't feel a good good enough wife. I don't feel a good good enough wife. I don't feel a good enough mother. I don't feel good enough enough mother. I don't feel good enough enough mother. I don't feel good enough employee. Not one person said to me look employee. Not one person said to me look employee. Not one person said to me look into how you could practice more into how you could practice more into how you could practice more self-compassion or what you do for your self-compassion or what you do for your self-compassion or what you do for your self-care. Those terms were not used.

self-care. Those terms were not used. self-care. Those terms were not used. I'm talking about 10 years ago. I'm talking about 10 years ago. I'm talking about 10 years ago. >> Relatively similar, isn't it? >> Relatively similar, isn't it? >> Relatively similar, isn't it? >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. >> You know, this that language should have >> You know, this that language should have >> You know, this that language should have been there. been there. been there. >> Yeah. And I just couldn't and I couldn't >> Yeah. And I just couldn't and I couldn't >> Yeah. And I just couldn't and I couldn't open up and I couldn't be who and share open up and I couldn't be who and share open up and I couldn't be who and share everything I wanted to share and I was everything I wanted to share and I was everything I wanted to share and I was it's because I was suppressing for so it's because I was suppressing for so it's because I was suppressing for so long. We're taught to suppress and now I long. We're taught to suppress and now I long. We're taught to suppress and now I teach to express. [laughter] teach to express. [laughter] teach to express. [laughter] >> Yes. Um so the book came from them in >> Yes. Um so the book came from them in >> Yes. Um so the book came from them in because I wanted to do more for the because I wanted to do more for the because I wanted to do more for the young people because um young people young people because um young people young people because um young people there was still stigma around mental there was still stigma around mental there was still stigma around mental health health health >> and when the young people coming to me >> and when the young people coming to me >> and when the young people coming to me and instead of going to see a counselor and instead of going to see a counselor and instead of going to see a counselor in the school they can pick up a book in the school they can pick up a book in the school they can pick up a book and learn a lot and practice on their and learn a lot and practice on their and learn a lot and practice on their own and know none of their friends need own and know none of their friends need own and know none of their friends need to know.

to know. to know. >> And one of the best things about this >> And one of the best things about this >> And one of the best things about this book is that you can pick up any book is that you can pick up any book is that you can pick up any contents any chapter and you you don't contents any chapter and you you don't contents any chapter and you you don't have to read the whole book. So if it's have to read the whole book. So if it's have to read the whole book. So if it's like about vaping or this is I'm like about vaping or this is I'm like about vaping or this is I'm stressed. If they're feeling stressed, stressed. If they're feeling stressed, stressed. If they're feeling stressed, they can just go to this chapter. If they can just go to this chapter. If they can just go to this chapter. If they feel like, you know what, um I'm they feel like, you know what, um I'm they feel like, you know what, um I'm not very happy with my friends not very happy with my friends not very happy with my friends friendship group, they can go to the friendship group, they can go to the friendship group, they can go to the section of my friends are friends matter section of my friends are friends matter section of my friends are friends matter chapter and they can just read about chapter and they can just read about chapter and they can just read about setting boundaries rather than going setting boundaries rather than going setting boundaries rather than going through the whole book to find that through the whole book to find that through the whole book to find that section. Wonderful. or they can go section. Wonderful. or they can go section. Wonderful. or they can go through like if they're feeling really through like if they're feeling really through like if they're feeling really really low and feeling really down, they really low and feeling really down, they really low and feeling really down, they can go to the I'm hack more happiness can go to the I'm hack more happiness can go to the I'm hack more happiness and practice some of the easier and practice some of the easier and practice some of the easier step-by-step guide of things they could step-by-step guide of things they could step-by-step guide of things they could do to feel happier. And that's what do to feel happier. And that's what do to feel happier. And that's what makes this book really easy and makes this book really easy and makes this book really easy and accessible and easy to read and any accessible and easy to read and any accessible and easy to read and any section, any chapter they can go into section, any chapter they can go into section, any chapter they can go into and just learn more about that. You and just learn more about that. You and just learn more about that. You don't I 100% advise people to go to don't I 100% advise people to go to don't I 100% advise people to go to therapy and counseling, but there are therapy and counseling, but there are therapy and counseling, but there are some times you're just not ready for some times you're just not ready for some times you're just not ready for that.

that. that. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And you need to know more understanding >> And you need to know more understanding >> And you need to know more understanding about mental health. And this book does about mental health. And this book does about mental health. And this book does just that. So, and the the name comes just that. So, and the the name comes just that. So, and the the name comes from, you know, how young people always from, you know, how young people always from, you know, how young people always say, "Leave me alone. None of your say, "Leave me alone. None of your say, "Leave me alone. None of your business. It's my life."

business. It's my life." business. It's my life." >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> So, I'm telling them, "Yes, it's your >> So, I'm telling them, "Yes, it's your >> So, I'm telling them, "Yes, it's your life." life." life." >> Wonderful. You're reaffirming what >> Wonderful. You're reaffirming what >> Wonderful. You're reaffirming what they're saying. And I love the fact that they're saying. And I love the fact that they're saying. And I love the fact that you've distilled this down into you've distilled this down into you've distilled this down into bite-sized chunks because modernday bite-sized chunks because modernday bite-sized chunks because modernday attention span attention span attention span >> has diminished considerably, hasn't it?

>> has diminished considerably, hasn't it? >> has diminished considerably, hasn't it? >> [laughter] >> [laughter] >> [laughter] >> I know I mean in the they used to say >> I know I mean in the they used to say >> I know I mean in the they used to say when I was at uni that if you gave a when I was at uni that if you gave a when I was at uni that if you gave a lecture that was 1818 minutes you would lecture that was 1818 minutes you would lecture that was 1818 minutes you would have people's attention.

have people's attention. have people's attention. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But you know what would you learn at >> But you know what would you learn at >> But you know what would you learn at university level if everything was just university level if everything was just university level if everything was just 18 minutes? 18 minutes? 18 minutes? >> So but they used to they tried that >> So but they used to they tried that >> So but they used to they tried that concept of they you know they'd be concept of they you know they'd be concept of they you know they'd be they'd they'd they'd >> you know inform on a subject and then >> you know inform on a subject and then >> you know inform on a subject and then they do a pattern interrupt.

they do a pattern interrupt. they do a pattern interrupt. >> Uhhuh. and whatever that might be. It >> Uhhuh. and whatever that might be. It >> Uhhuh. and whatever that might be. It might be a quick Q&A session. It I don't might be a quick Q&A session. It I don't might be a quick Q&A session. It I don't know, anything. I can't remember. know, anything. I can't remember. know, anything. I can't remember. >> And then they go back in with another 18 >> And then they go back in with another 18 >> And then they go back in with another 18 minutes.

minutes. minutes. >> It's exhausting for the teachers, right? >> It's exhausting for the teachers, right? >> It's exhausting for the teachers, right? >> Yeah. But, you know, it didn't last, but >> Yeah. But, you know, it didn't last, but >> Yeah. But, you know, it didn't last, but it was productive. it was productive. it was productive. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> There was a measurable difference. And >> There was a measurable difference. And >> There was a measurable difference. And that is what you're doing there. You're that is what you're doing there. You're that is what you're doing there. You're giving people short bites.

giving people short bites. giving people short bites. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. 100%. So, it's just And grief. One of 100%. So, it's just And grief. One of 100%. So, it's just And grief. One of the biggest things I remember my the biggest things I remember my the biggest things I remember my daughter went through um grief when we daughter went through um grief when we daughter went through um grief when we lost our pet cat lost our pet cat lost our pet cat >> and she was only in year seven to 11 or >> and she was only in year seven to 11 or >> and she was only in year seven to 11 or 12 years old. I remember how it impacted 12 years old. I remember how it impacted 12 years old. I remember how it impacted her and us actually. So I write write her and us actually. So I write write her and us actually. So I write write about it in the book. I write about about it in the book. I write about about it in the book. I write about grief. Grief about pets, grief about grief. Grief about pets, grief about grief. Grief about pets, grief about living things, grief about when parents living things, grief about when parents living things, grief about when parents are separating and the grief of that are separating and the grief of that are separating and the grief of that house, grief of that area, moving to a house, grief of that area, moving to a house, grief of that area, moving to a new location. People don't talk about new location. People don't talk about new location. People don't talk about that. grief for the living that. grief for the living that. grief for the living >> when it's not just about someone someone >> when it's not just about someone someone >> when it's not just about someone someone passes away of someone when people and passes away of someone when people and passes away of someone when people and family separate or people move to other family separate or people move to other family separate or people move to other countries. So if your cousins and your countries. So if your cousins and your countries. So if your cousins and your cousins move to another country that cousins move to another country that cousins move to another country that grief from going through that or your grief from going through that or your grief from going through that or your close friends have moved on and that's close friends have moved on and that's close friends have moved on and that's kind of things I see I observe a lot of kind of things I see I observe a lot of kind of things I see I observe a lot of it from my children and the children and it from my children and the children and it from my children and the children and young people that was mentoring and the young people that was mentoring and the young people that was mentoring and the things that was coming up I put it into things that was coming up I put it into things that was coming up I put it into the book the book the book >> and there was one chapter that my >> and there was one chapter that my >> and there was one chapter that my publishers wanted me to write about was publishers wanted me to write about was publishers wanted me to write about was knife crime cuz obviously being a knife crime cuz obviously being a knife crime cuz obviously being a Londoner it's quite a big thing and I Londoner it's quite a big thing and I Londoner it's quite a big thing and I said oh I don't know what I would write said oh I don't know what I would write said oh I don't know what I would write about knife I can't connect but there about knife I can't connect but there about knife I can't connect but there was something unburied a long time ago I was something unburied a long time ago I was something unburied a long time ago I put it aside we were we were victims My put it aside we were we were victims My put it aside we were we were victims My husband and I were victim of knife crime husband and I were victim of knife crime husband and I were victim of knife crime and um he was actually stabbed and we and um he was actually stabbed and we and um he was actually stabbed and we were very blessed that he everything had were very blessed that he everything had were very blessed that he everything had turned out well and I had to reheal by turned out well and I had to reheal by turned out well and I had to reheal by writing about it as so I put it in the writing about it as so I put it in the writing about it as so I put it in the terms of victim if terms of victim if terms of victim if >> I wanted young people to think about how >> I wanted young people to think about how >> I wanted young people to think about how the other person that they're doing it the other person that they're doing it the other person that they're doing it to how it feels like the reason why they to how it feels like the reason why they to how it feels like the reason why they could be doing I link it to low could be doing I link it to low could be doing I link it to low self-esteem or low selfworth being part self-esteem or low selfworth being part self-esteem or low selfworth being part of something because if you're not of something because if you're not of something because if you're not feeling loved and appreciated and valued feeling loved and appreciated and valued feeling loved and appreciated and valued at home you might be looking for that at home you might be looking for that at home you might be looking for that somewhere else.

somewhere else. somewhere else. >> Yes. So they might be looking for in a >> Yes. So they might be looking for in a >> Yes. So they might be looking for in a friendship group and the even the friendship group and the even the friendship group and the even the friendship might not be of a positive friendship might not be of a positive friendship might not be of a positive influence on them. Um and if you are influence on them. Um and if you are influence on them. Um and if you are doing something like hurting someone doing something like hurting someone doing something like hurting someone with a knife, how does it make other with a knife, how does it make other with a knife, how does it make other people feel?

people feel? people feel? >> So I turn it on that way and share my >> So I turn it on that way and share my >> So I turn it on that way and share my story when I was pregnant with my son. story when I was pregnant with my son. story when I was pregnant with my son. Um and my husband was stabbed and how it Um and my husband was stabbed and how it Um and my husband was stabbed and how it affected us as a family. affected us as a family. affected us as a family. >> Um and so turn it in the sense that >> Um and so turn it in the sense that >> Um and so turn it in the sense that teach me some empathy around that and teach me some empathy around that and teach me some empathy around that and teach self-regulation.

teach self-regulation. teach self-regulation. Um, and I talk about my story on self Um, and I talk about my story on self Um, and I talk about my story on self harm as well and in a sense that it's harm as well and in a sense that it's harm as well and in a sense that it's okay if you're doing something's wrong, okay if you're doing something's wrong, okay if you're doing something's wrong, but how to overcome it. but how to overcome it. but how to overcome it. >> He's a step-by-step guide. So, this book >> He's a step-by-step guide. So, this book >> He's a step-by-step guide. So, this book has um again helped me heal has um again helped me heal has um again helped me heal >> again. [laughter] >> again. [laughter] >> again. [laughter] >> Yeah. [sighs] >> Yeah. [sighs] >> Yeah. [sighs] >> Yeah. Because >> Yeah. Because >> Yeah. Because >> life is a huge journey, isn't it? And we >> life is a huge journey, isn't it? And we >> life is a huge journey, isn't it? And we never know never know never know >> where those healing nuggets are going to >> where those healing nuggets are going to >> where those healing nuggets are going to come from, come from, come from, >> where they're going to drop into play.

>> where they're going to drop into play. >> where they're going to drop into play. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, >> because I mean we don't have crystal >> because I mean we don't have crystal >> because I mean we don't have crystal balls, do we? We may plan for the balls, do we? We may plan for the balls, do we? We may plan for the future, but we don't know future, but we don't know future, but we don't know >> what's around the corner. >> what's around the corner. >> what's around the corner. >> Absolutely. Absolutely. Who would have >> Absolutely. Absolutely. Who would have >> Absolutely. Absolutely. Who would have thought like when I was a teenager or thought like when I was a teenager or thought like when I was a teenager or even in my 20ies, I would write and even in my 20ies, I would write and even in my 20ies, I would write and speak and have a business all around speak and have a business all around speak and have a business all around teaching other people. I'd never teaching other people. I'd never teaching other people. I'd never >> if I was still looking to young Rashida >> if I was still looking to young Rashida >> if I was still looking to young Rashida now, 21, 202y old Rashida, I would tell now, 21, 202y old Rashida, I would tell now, 21, 202y old Rashida, I would tell her to hold on. Absolutely to keep going her to hold on. Absolutely to keep going her to hold on. Absolutely to keep going >> and be open >> and be open >> and be open >> and never be afraid.

>> and never be afraid. >> and never be afraid. >> Yeah. It's sort of like a bit of inner >> Yeah. It's sort of like a bit of inner >> Yeah. It's sort of like a bit of inner child work. child work. child work. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Looking back and giving her the love and >> Looking back and giving her the love and >> Looking back and giving her the love and reassurance. reassurance. reassurance. >> 100%. >> 100%. >> 100%. >> And the confidence. >> And the confidence.

>> And the confidence. >> Yeah. The confidence. Yeah. >> Yeah. The confidence. Yeah. >> Yeah. The confidence. Yeah. So, it's been a real journey and I I So, it's been a real journey and I I So, it's been a real journey and I I pray that this book really goes into pray that this book really goes into pray that this book really goes into many um many hands internationally and many um many hands internationally and many um many hands internationally and it helps young people and my vision it helps young people and my vision it helps young people and my vision around that is to go into as many around that is to go into as many around that is to go into as many schools as possible. I'm already doing schools as possible. I'm already doing schools as possible. I'm already doing workshops in schools and um one of the workshops in schools and um one of the workshops in schools and um one of the workshops I do is called dream big.

workshops I do is called dream big. workshops I do is called dream big. >> Oh, I like the sound of that. >> Oh, I like the sound of that. >> Oh, I like the sound of that. >> Really amazing. Thank you. Yeah, it's >> Really amazing. Thank you. Yeah, it's >> Really amazing. Thank you. Yeah, it's really amazing in the sense that what it really amazing in the sense that what it really amazing in the sense that what it does is it teaches people to have to to does is it teaches people to have to to does is it teaches people to have to to dream big and to actually make it happen dream big and to actually make it happen dream big and to actually make it happen and we go into little mini case studies and we go into little mini case studies and we go into little mini case studies which are child friendly ones and what which are child friendly ones and what which are child friendly ones and what they loved about that session is not all they loved about that session is not all they loved about that session is not all the information and the I say it's a the information and the I say it's a the information and the I say it's a blueprint to success and what I did they blueprint to success and what I did they blueprint to success and what I did they loved to hear my story yes it was loved to hear my story yes it was loved to hear my story yes it was amazing how I had yeah four children amazing how I had yeah four children amazing how I had yeah four children which were like 10 11 year olds and I which were like 10 11 year olds and I which were like 10 11 year olds and I had the assessment at the end like a had the assessment at the end like a had the assessment at the end like a feedback what did you like most of every feedback what did you like most of every feedback what did you like most of every form of 120 forms. They said it was my form of 120 forms. They said it was my form of 120 forms. They said it was my story. It's fascinating. So we sometimes story. It's fascinating. So we sometimes story. It's fascinating. So we sometimes we molecule our children a bit too much.

we molecule our children a bit too much. we molecule our children a bit too much. We don't tell them certain things We don't tell them certain things We don't tell them certain things because oh they can't handle it. because oh they can't handle it. because oh they can't handle it. >> But actually they're more resilient than >> But actually they're more resilient than >> But actually they're more resilient than we think. we think. we think. >> I completely agree with that. And when >> I completely agree with that. And when >> I completely agree with that. And when >> I believe that when they see the person >> I believe that when they see the person >> I believe that when they see the person standing in front of them now, you know, standing in front of them now, you know, standing in front of them now, you know, a successful public speaker, an author, a successful public speaker, an author, a successful public speaker, an author, a wife, a mother.

a wife, a mother. a wife, a mother. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. and they are not able to see that for and they are not able to see that for and they are not able to see that for themselves because they are having themselves because they are having themselves because they are having whatever's going on for them at the whatever's going on for them at the whatever's going on for them at the time. time. time. >> If they can see that you had your trials >> If they can see that you had your trials >> If they can see that you had your trials and tribulations and tribulations and tribulations >> Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> and you've come out stronger and >> and you've come out stronger and >> and you've come out stronger and successful. successful. successful. >> Yes. It's not that person on the TV or >> Yes. It's not that person on the TV or >> Yes. It's not that person on the TV or on YouTube. on YouTube. on YouTube. >> Exactly. You're a real person. >> Exactly. You're a real person. >> Exactly. You're a real person. >> And what I did, I didn't tell them who I >> And what I did, I didn't tell them who I >> And what I did, I didn't tell them who I was in the beginning. And I just said, was in the beginning. And I just said, was in the beginning. And I just said, I'm going to show you about a story I'm going to show you about a story I'm going to show you about a story about who other people call her about who other people call her about who other people call her inspiration and amazing. And I just inspiration and amazing. And I just inspiration and amazing. And I just shared nuggets of what was child shared nuggets of what was child shared nuggets of what was child friendly enough for them. I didn't use friendly enough for them. I didn't use friendly enough for them. I didn't use the word depression. I just use the the word depression. I just use the the word depression. I just use the word. She felt very sad about X, Y, and word. She felt very sad about X, Y, and word. She felt very sad about X, Y, and Zed.

Zed. Zed. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And um and [snorts] then I said, "Do you >> And um and [snorts] then I said, "Do you >> And um and [snorts] then I said, "Do you want to know who that person is? You want to know who that person is? You want to know who that person is? You know what her name is?" know what her name is?" know what her name is?" >> I said, "Her name is Rashida Zaman and >> I said, "Her name is Rashida Zaman and >> I said, "Her name is Rashida Zaman and she's right here. I knew it was you. I she's right here. I knew it was you. I she's right here. I knew it was you. I knew it was you." [laughter] knew it was you." [laughter] knew it was you." [laughter] >> Wonderful.

>> Wonderful. >> Wonderful. >> Yeah. It was I love interacting with >> Yeah. It was I love interacting with >> Yeah. It was I love interacting with young people as young as 10 and young people as young as 10 and young people as young as 10 and teenagers and the sessions I do, the teenagers and the sessions I do, the teenagers and the sessions I do, the sessions I run in all kinds of charities sessions I run in all kinds of charities sessions I run in all kinds of charities and schools and it's just gives me so and schools and it's just gives me so and schools and it's just gives me so much joy.

much joy. much joy. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> To engage and help and be part of it. >> To engage and help and be part of it. >> To engage and help and be part of it. And the feedback we receive as you know And the feedback we receive as you know And the feedback we receive as you know like the feedback is just always the like the feedback is just always the like the feedback is just always the push the fuel that you need. push the fuel that you need. push the fuel that you need. >> Absolutely. Keep you going.

>> Absolutely. Keep you going. >> Absolutely. Keep you going. >> Yes. Yes. because I I truly believe that >> Yes. Yes. because I I truly believe that >> Yes. Yes. because I I truly believe that you are filling a huge gap in modernday you are filling a huge gap in modernday you are filling a huge gap in modernday education because it became very education because it became very education because it became very functional. functional. functional. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> Mhm. >> You know, you need to learn this by >> You know, you need to learn this by >> You know, you need to learn this by ropes so you can pass those exams cuz ropes so you can pass those exams cuz ropes so you can pass those exams cuz that's considered to be a success in that's considered to be a success in that's considered to be a success in life.

life. life. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But nothing about the holistic nature of >> But nothing about the holistic nature of >> But nothing about the holistic nature of the fact that this is actually a person the fact that this is actually a person the fact that this is actually a person >> that's doing this learning. It's a human >> that's doing this learning. It's a human >> that's doing this learning. It's a human being that's interacting in all levels being that's interacting in all levels being that's interacting in all levels and dimensions of society and will and dimensions of society and will and dimensions of society and will continue to do so. They need to be continue to do so. They need to be continue to do so. They need to be educated educated educated >> in how to deal with >> in how to deal with >> in how to deal with life life life >> and whatever that throws whether that be >> and whatever that throws whether that be >> and whatever that throws whether that be good, bad or indifferent.

good, bad or indifferent. good, bad or indifferent. >> 100%. And I I love that and what you >> 100%. And I I love that and what you >> 100%. And I I love that and what you just said it just reaffirms that work just said it just reaffirms that work just said it just reaffirms that work that we do when people hear our stories that we do when people hear our stories that we do when people hear our stories and they see that it's a real person in and they see that it's a real person in and they see that it's a real person in front of them is when I did A4 my local front of them is when I did A4 my local front of them is when I did A4 my local burough I did um burough I did um burough I did um human library they call it human library human library they call it human library human library they call it human library and I shared stuff that's happened to me and I shared stuff that's happened to me and I shared stuff that's happened to me in my life and what I've overcome. had in my life and what I've overcome. had in my life and what I've overcome. had PTSD after the accident. The functional PTSD after the accident. The functional PTSD after the accident. The functional depression, the self harm, the the the depression, the self harm, the the the depression, the self harm, the the the emotional pain, it turned into emotional emotional pain, it turned into emotional emotional pain, it turned into emotional power. And one of the ladies when I power. And one of the ladies when I power. And one of the ladies when I said, "Have you got any questions?" She said, "Have you got any questions?" She said, "Have you got any questions?" She said, "You've given me permission to said, "You've given me permission to said, "You've given me permission to reflect on myself and go to therapy and reflect on myself and go to therapy and reflect on myself and go to therapy and help myself as well. You've given me help myself as well. You've given me help myself as well. You've given me permission to take that hearing your permission to take that hearing your permission to take that hearing your story has given me permission to go to story has given me permission to go to story has given me permission to go to the next step that I want, needed to the next step that I want, needed to the next step that I want, needed to take." I was so touched by that. So take." I was so touched by that. So take." I was so touched by that. So touching. It gives people permission to touching. It gives people permission to touching. It gives people permission to look into their own lives when you share look into their own lives when you share look into their own lives when you share your own vulnerably on stage wherever your own vulnerably on stage wherever your own vulnerably on stage wherever wherever that stage is whether it's with wherever that stage is whether it's with wherever that stage is whether it's with children or whether it's young people or children or whether it's young people or children or whether it's young people or whether it's women or whether it's mixed whether it's women or whether it's mixed whether it's women or whether it's mixed group of group of group of attendees and students whoever they are attendees and students whoever they are attendees and students whoever they are like it's just like it's just like it's just >> so it's uncomfortable sometimes >> so it's uncomfortable sometimes >> so it's uncomfortable sometimes >> of course >> of course >> of course >> you have to learn not to overshare.

>> you have to learn not to overshare. >> you have to learn not to overshare. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> And it's what the impact on that is as >> And it's what the impact on that is as >> And it's what the impact on that is as you know yourself as a public speaker is you know yourself as a public speaker is you know yourself as a public speaker is so so beautiful. so so beautiful. so so beautiful. So, So, So, I'll take the opportunity to say thank I'll take the opportunity to say thank I'll take the opportunity to say thank you for writing forward in my book.

you for writing forward in my book. you for writing forward in my book. [laughter] [laughter] [laughter] >> Thank you for inviting me. I was just >> Thank you for inviting me. I was just >> Thank you for inviting me. I was just humbled and thrilled. humbled and thrilled. humbled and thrilled. >> It was such a beautiful piece what you >> It was such a beautiful piece what you >> It was such a beautiful piece what you wrote about the book um sharing that wrote about the book um sharing that wrote about the book um sharing that you're a mother of yourself with two you're a mother of yourself with two you're a mother of yourself with two young people as well. So, must have been young people as well. So, must have been young people as well. So, must have been What were your thoughts around when you What were your thoughts around when you What were your thoughts around when you heard that was writing this book?

heard that was writing this book? heard that was writing this book? >> I wished it had come earlier cuz my >> I wished it had come earlier cuz my >> I wished it had come earlier cuz my youngest is 21 now. youngest is 21 now. youngest is 21 now. >> Yeah. you know and obviously >> Yeah. you know and obviously >> Yeah. you know and obviously like anybody you know issues have like anybody you know issues have like anybody you know issues have confronted them and us as a family confronted them and us as a family confronted them and us as a family >> and to have something >> and to have something >> and to have something easily accessible like that I think easily accessible like that I think easily accessible like that I think would have been great for them would have been great for them would have been great for them >> because if you don't gel with the >> because if you don't gel with the >> because if you don't gel with the traditional things that are out there traditional things that are out there traditional things that are out there like you just described where can they like you just described where can they like you just described where can they go go go >> you know if as a child your family >> you know if as a child your family >> you know if as a child your family structure is far from ideal let's say structure is far from ideal let's say structure is far from ideal let's say and you don't have the support from your and you don't have the support from your and you don't have the support from your caregivers, caregivers, caregivers, >> where do you go?

>> where do you go? >> where do you go? >> 100%. Where do you go? Yeah. And as >> 100%. Where do you go? Yeah. And as >> 100%. Where do you go? Yeah. And as parents, we don't always have time to do parents, we don't always have time to do parents, we don't always have time to do all these other courses and sessions, all these other courses and sessions, all these other courses and sessions, but if you have something with all the but if you have something with all the but if you have something with all the blueprint in here, and what I call it is blueprint in here, and what I call it is blueprint in here, and what I call it is blueprint of success. I know it's blueprint of success. I know it's blueprint of success. I know it's >> a guide for young people to achieve >> a guide for young people to achieve >> a guide for young people to achieve excellent well-being and gains high excellent well-being and gains high excellent well-being and gains high selfworth, but it it's a blueprint to selfworth, but it it's a blueprint to selfworth, but it it's a blueprint to success and it gives you understanding success and it gives you understanding success and it gives you understanding of where we could be going and what of where we could be going and what of where we could be going and what could affect it. When I f when I could affect it. When I f when I could affect it. When I f when I actually learned the importance of high actually learned the importance of high actually learned the importance of high selfworth, I was fascinated by it. Yeah.

selfworth, I was fascinated by it. Yeah. selfworth, I was fascinated by it. Yeah. >> Had I not dropped the low selfworth, I >> Had I not dropped the low selfworth, I >> Had I not dropped the low selfworth, I would not be sitting here with you. No. would not be sitting here with you. No. would not be sitting here with you. No. >> I would not have walked into those rooms >> I would not have walked into those rooms >> I would not have walked into those rooms if I had low self-esteem. I Oh, I don't if I had low self-esteem. I Oh, I don't if I had low self-esteem. I Oh, I don't belong in this room. There's belong in this room. There's belong in this room. There's millionaires and there's I'm I'm so and millionaires and there's I'm I'm so and millionaires and there's I'm I'm so and so and I shouldn't be in this room and I so and I shouldn't be in this room and I so and I shouldn't be in this room and I don't feel right. I walk straight out. I don't feel right. I walk straight out. I don't feel right. I walk straight out. I would have driven up there.

would have driven up there. would have driven up there. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, it's every step I took that was out >> So, it's every step I took that was out >> So, it's every step I took that was out of my comfort zone helped me come more of my comfort zone helped me come more of my comfort zone helped me come more become more confident. become more confident. become more confident. >> Yeah. and enough to be able to come here >> Yeah. and enough to be able to come here >> Yeah. and enough to be able to come here and become a public speaker and go into and become a public speaker and go into and become a public speaker and go into sharing my story is had I not wor looked sharing my story is had I not wor looked sharing my story is had I not wor looked into selfworth and low self-esteem had I into selfworth and low self-esteem had I into selfworth and low self-esteem had I not looked into it and dropped what I not looked into it and dropped what I not looked into it and dropped what I always say drop low selfworth always say drop low selfworth always say drop low selfworth >> I would have still been crawling through >> I would have still been crawling through >> I would have still been crawling through life one of the room quotes I love is um life one of the room quotes I love is um life one of the room quotes I love is um why crawl through life when you can fly why crawl through life when you can fly why crawl through life when you can fly >> that's delicious >> that's delicious >> that's delicious >> beautiful isn't it >> beautiful isn't it >> beautiful isn't it >> absolutely and now I feel I can fly I'm >> absolutely and now I feel I can fly I'm >> absolutely and now I feel I can fly I'm no longer crawling through life.

no longer crawling through life. no longer crawling through life. >> Good for you. Your knees have had >> Good for you. Your knees have had >> Good for you. Your knees have had enough. [laughter] enough. [laughter] enough. [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah. And long may it continue. I >> Yeah. Yeah. And long may it continue. I >> Yeah. Yeah. And long may it continue. I mean, I'm sure you will write other mean, I'm sure you will write other mean, I'm sure you will write other books as you have more experiences and books as you have more experiences and books as you have more experiences and >> I'm sure it will trigger things because >> I'm sure it will trigger things because >> I'm sure it will trigger things because your mind is an inquisitive one and it's your mind is an inquisitive one and it's your mind is an inquisitive one and it's a problem-solving one and it's a very a problem-solving one and it's a very a problem-solving one and it's a very giving and loving one.

giving and loving one. giving and loving one. >> Thank you. Yeah. I can't wait to write >> Thank you. Yeah. I can't wait to write >> Thank you. Yeah. I can't wait to write the next book. [laughter] the next book. [laughter] the next book. [laughter] >> I love that. And you're coming back here >> I love that. And you're coming back here >> I love that. And you're coming back here to tell me all about it. You know that to tell me all about it. You know that to tell me all about it. You know that already, don't you?

already, don't you? already, don't you? >> I do. I do. >> I do. I do. >> I do. I do. >> Oh, but um yeah. And >> Oh, but um yeah. And >> Oh, but um yeah. And >> do you mind if I read a little bit of >> do you mind if I read a little bit of >> do you mind if I read a little bit of the introduction? Life can feel the introduction? Life can feel the introduction? Life can feel overwhelming, right? You might be overwhelming, right? You might be overwhelming, right? You might be dealing with stress and anxiety, dealing with stress and anxiety, dealing with stress and anxiety, struggling silently in situations you struggling silently in situations you struggling silently in situations you feel you can't share with anyone. When feel you can't share with anyone. When feel you can't share with anyone. When things get tricky, no one asks you, "Are things get tricky, no one asks you, "Are things get tricky, no one asks you, "Are you okay?" Instead, you get detentions you okay?" Instead, you get detentions you okay?" Instead, you get detentions and a mad telling off. Some days you it and a mad telling off. Some days you it and a mad telling off. Some days you it just gets too much and you just want to just gets too much and you just want to just gets too much and you just want to stay in bed. It's easy to feel lost, stay in bed. It's easy to feel lost, stay in bed. It's easy to feel lost, unsure which path to take, especially unsure which path to take, especially unsure which path to take, especially when it comes to your future and career.

when it comes to your future and career. when it comes to your future and career. Everyone tells you to focus your Everyone tells you to focus your Everyone tells you to focus your studies, get good grades, go to good studies, get good grades, go to good studies, get good grades, go to good university, land a good job, find a good university, land a good job, find a good university, land a good job, find a good partner. It sounds like a lot and often partner. It sounds like a lot and often partner. It sounds like a lot and often no one tells you how to actually do any no one tells you how to actually do any no one tells you how to actually do any of it. The support available for young of it. The support available for young of it. The support available for young people is woeful. And if you don't make people is woeful. And if you don't make people is woeful. And if you don't make it to the school therapist it to the school therapist it to the school therapist who supports you to get through who supports you to get through who supports you to get through challenging periods and even when you do challenging periods and even when you do challenging periods and even when you do land on it and don't want to be seen land on it and don't want to be seen land on it and don't want to be seen leaving the class to see the counselor leaving the class to see the counselor leaving the class to see the counselor or get called out to talk to the school or get called out to talk to the school or get called out to talk to the school counselor because the minute you leave counselor because the minute you leave counselor because the minute you leave the classroom all of your friends will the classroom all of your friends will the classroom all of your friends will be asking what happened, who is it did be asking what happened, who is it did be asking what happened, who is it did you see? What did you talk about? Who you see? What did you talk about? Who you see? What did you talk about? Who was that? And you just don't want any of was that? And you just don't want any of was that? And you just don't want any of that. So you'd rather not see the that. So you'd rather not see the that. So you'd rather not see the counselor at all. But here's the truth.

counselor at all. But here's the truth. counselor at all. But here's the truth. This is your life and what you decide This is your life and what you decide This is your life and what you decide what you get to do what good means to what you get to do what good means to what you get to do what good means to you as for your career whether it means you as for your career whether it means you as for your career whether it means to build a business or climbing the to build a business or climbing the to build a business or climbing the corporate ladder the choice is yours corporate ladder the choice is yours corporate ladder the choice is yours >> wonderful >> wonderful >> wonderful >> and that's where the term it's your life >> and that's where the term it's your life >> and that's where the term it's your life came from when I was writing the came from when I was writing the came from when I was writing the introduction he just came up introduction he just came up introduction he just came up >> no that's wonderful >> no that's wonderful >> no that's wonderful thank you thank you thank you >> pleasure thank you for having me >> pleasure thank you for having me >> pleasure thank you for having me >> it's been a delight fight.