Your Best Sex Life: Improve Your Relationships, Create a Lasting Connection & Find Your Ultimate Pleasure

Introduction to Sexual Biohacking 0:00

Welcome to the bio optimized summit where we are exploring the next level of physical and mental health you can achieve through targeted and intentional optimization. I am your host Dr AMy and today I'm so thrilled to have with me Susan bratton. She is an intimacy wellness expert to millions and is a champion and advocate for all those who desire intimacy and passion their whole life long. She is a best selling author and publisher of lovemaking techniques, bedroom communication skills and sexual vitality advice, all stuff we need to know about. Susan Welcome and I'm so excited to be talking today about sexual bio hacking. Thanks Dr AMy.

Yeah, me too. Thanks for including the sea sexuality, part of holistic approach to having great energy and a great what I like to call health span that the time of healthy living throughout our lives. And I think having a great sex life is one of those things that makes you live longer because you feel great and you're happy. Um I recently I had coronavirus in March and it was bad and those covid long haulers and I'm just now getting back up on my feet and when I started to feel like, okay, I'm gaining some positive ground back to health.

One of the very first things that I did was I started to self pleasure again, because I knew that having good, good pleasurable experiences was going to accelerate my return to health because your libido is 11 side of the same coin as your overall health. When your overall health suffers, Your libido suffers if your libido is down, it's a functional systemic health issue and it can be emotional and physical. That's also two sides of the same coin. So, the good news is that I had a really fantastic lovemaking date with my husband last night, actually, yesterday afternoon, we're so old.

We mostly have sex in the afternoon. The kids were gone and we're like, right, when the kids are gone, it doesn't have to wait till evening. Mouses are playing. And one of the things that we did, because it's been seven months of me not really feeling well enough to make love was we spent a long time on sensual massage to each other because what happens over time with couples is that you atrophy atrophy is, you know, when you've got wrinkles outside, you've got wrinkles inside basically. Everything is shriveling up. So we're always kind of railing against the

Blood Flow, Engorgement, and Genital Health 2:50

desiccation of our body, the drying up and the tissue starting to fold in on itself and our organs, our hearts, our brains, everything starts shrinking. Our vulva shrinks, our penis shrinks. Um, one of the saddest things about getting old sexually is that in a long term monogamous relationship, your male body partner's penis atrophies. So it gets smaller and doesn't stay as firm and her vulva atrophy is the vaginal mucosa atrophies. And what happens is it actually opens up her vaginal opening. She gets bigger if you will. So he gets smaller and she gets bigger.

And that means you lose that grip, that tightness and grip that is required for good orgasmic response. So, a lot of the sensory experience you so much sensation. There's a lot of sensation loss and a part of that is the natural neuropathy of aging. But also there's this idea that uh it's a very fundamental piece of sexual bio hacking and it's called Engorged mint and n gorge mint. For those who are new to the term, you might think about it, It has other words like tumescent blood flow, swollen erect.

These are all similar words to say, my genitals are full of blood flow. Therefore, as a male and female bodied person, I'm having an erection or if I'm not because of the atrophy and the lack of blood flow. I'm not having the erection I used to, my tissue is getting smaller and I feel less sensation because when the tissue is plump, it's actually larger. When it's placid it's smaller. And when it's plump, it has more surface area, which means it has more sensation. So, a big part of sensation loss is literally lack of blood flow.

And one of the things that I always like to do is I wish I had a banana here, I have one in the kitchen, I should have grabbed it. I well, I'll use this toy I've got, I want to let you know, I've got a whole show and tell here and I'm gonna be holding up a lot of things, but let's pretend and this is a toy that I'm going to tell you about. But let's pretend that this is a banana in a male bodied partner, half of his banana sticks out of his body. But the whole thing is full of erectile tissue and it actually goes in and down inside his body.

The male penis actually looks like a second tongue and all of that erectile tissue must get full of blood for him to have erectile rigidity. What people really don't understand is that the female bodied of us have the same amount of erectile tissue, but it's almost all inside us. We have maybe five, I'd say it's more like this end five, 5% is sticking out in our clitoral glands, the tip of our clitoris and the shaft if it gets engorged, pops out a little bit. But all the rest of the same amount of tissue that's in a penis is inside our vulva.

And if you don't have good blood flow to the genitals and you don't have a lot of sensual massage and warm up and oral pleasuring and lots of blood flow, you don't feel as much, you don't experience pleasure and your genitals begin to atrophy. Yes, I'm so glad we're talking about this because I had interviewed Mark White with gains wave and so we talked about this blood flow to the penis and how essential this was and how his, you know, he's developed this acoustic sound wave technology to increase blood flow to the penis. But I'm sitting there thinking, well, how do I do that though as a woman? Because we don't have all of this erectile issue outside for us, it's more internal. So I'm so excited that you're talking about this so that we can figure out how do we do this for us women to Yes.

And I want to tell you that gains wave is one of the it is the thing that I recommend to men. So there is a stack if you will of gains wave treatments with p shots using prp platelet rich plasma and a penis pump or vacuum erection device. That combination of those three things with a blood flow supplement, I'll show you the one that I recommend, which is called flow, which is a nitric oxide supplement. And I'm going to circle back to this in just a second. Um and in the evening, a very light dose of Viagra each night. So that as a man ages, he's getting nighttime erections. As men age, they stop getting those nighttime and morning erections. And that's really the signal that he's getting.

He's on his way to cardiovascular disease, etcetera. So I'm really glad that you had mark on and I am a massive proponent of gains wave. Uh and I think it works so well to knock the plaque off the arteries and to stimulate new tissue growth. A lot of bio hacking is stimulating new tissue growth, new neural synapses. You know, its its regenerative, that's the concept is this regenerative medicine. And what we're really talking about on this segment of your event is regenerative sexual techniques, therapies and treatments, things that you can do.

So One of the things that I really want to make women aware of, and I've got a I've got a picture to show you. It's in this book and you can download this

Tools for Men: Gainswave, Pumps, and Supportive Therapies 8:40

book at hot to trot. Can I just say that? I love that title, isn't it cute? Yes, I love that title. Yeah. It's some 34 ways to supercharge your sex drive and it's all medical based Um intelligent things you can do. And what I want to show you is that on page 12, I have got to get it angled right here on page 12. Let me get it just right. How's that right there? I think I got it there. Um what I've done is I've put in, I've had some custom illustrations of the erectile tissue system of the female genitalia created. And essentially what this does is it shows the clitoral head, the clitoral shaft, the clitoral arms, the clitoral legs, the urethral sponge, the perennial sponge, which are all the components of erectile tissue of the vulva. That's our buried treasure.

That's what is essentially, our penis inside, that's full of erectile tissue. You really want blood going to that area and n gorging it for that central pleasure and sensation. That is it. Amen sister. And one of the things that happens is that as we age, our nitric oxide production, which is what generates the blood flow. Our cardiovascular system essentially has tone. Our veins have tone and they constrict and relaxed to shunt blood to the various parts of our body, our brain when we're thinking like we are right now, our tummies when we're having our meal and and our genitals when we're making love. And as we age our we get plaque that calcify eyes and it makes the veins and our vascular system brittle and unable to send send the blood around because we not only get plaque, but we lose the ability to produce nitric oxide at the same function. Step loss as our hormones decline, our nitric oxide declines. So one of the things that I like is for people to take an organic nitric oxide supplement. This one is made from citrus line, organic spinach, your cherries, and it has some aniseed oil Sistine in it as well.

And what that does is it tops up your nitric oxide systems once you're over 40 by the time you're 50 you have half the nitric oxide you did when you were 20. It's very very similar to the hormone loss that we suffer. I consider the three fundamental supplements for every human being over 40 to be a daily vitamin mineral supplement as well as omega's good Omega fatty acids for reducing inflammation and increasing your brain function and a nitric oxide supplement to me. Those are the three legs of a strong supplement foundation. So I really this is very important.

And for women we we don't have glands in our vagina. Um We have Bartha leans glands but their antibacterial, they don't provide lubrication. Lubrication comes from blood flow. Our blood plasma is recruited to our pelvic bowl and it seeps through our vaginal mucosa. So if our blood flow is compromised, we're not getting the lubrication. We had. So many women tell me when they start taking a nitric oxide supplement that all of a sudden there like I'm wet again. Like I'm walking around wet in a matter of days of topping up nitric oxide and I'm like, good for you sister. How happy are you that you do that?

You know, for a lot of us, even though libido and your desire isn't tied to how wet you are or not. In our minds. It is. If we're wet and moist, we feel more turned on. If we're dry, we suffer. So I think the blood flow is a very important thing and I want to show you a tool that I use. So I don't have my penis pump with me today. But the pump that I recommend is a pump called the whopper And the whopper is a dual chamber system that a man can do for 13 weeks every other day to restore a reptile function and regain the lost penile volume from atrophy. And I've written a book that's been downloaded over 25,000 times and it's at pumping guide.com.

And if you go to pumping guide dot com, it has information about gains wave the P shot as well. You know, what is the P shot? How does it work? Links to a bunch of videos. I've interviewed the inventor of the P shot dr Charles Reynolds, he explains exactly how it works as well as the O shot. I have interviews with him and the O shot, which is the orgasm shot and um has links to the whopper, how it works, how you do it, how you restore that lost volume or even use it for penis enlargement. There are many men who are smaller than they'd like to be and this is the one thing that actually works to increase overall length and girth of the penis. So not only does it combat the shrinkage of age, which we're all dealing with, but it also can help, you know, just kind of bolster the penile tissue. So I really like that and for women, I want to show you this, this is my, I'm absolutely in love with this product.

This is called the V fit. Have you seen this? I have seen this, Yes, So do you have one yet? I do not have one. So I'm very curious to see like do you recommend a specific brand in one?

Womenu2019s Blood Flow and Vaginal Rejuvenation 14:20

So, tell me about it. So the V fit if you go to um uh the fit and use promo code Susan bratton, they will give you a discount which is nice. This is a red low level laser light red light therapy intra vaginal device. So it goes up inside your vagina and it has warmth and you can see it gets brighter and brighter and brighter. It has warmth and vibration and the red light therapy and essentially really gonna bring the blood flow to that area. It is so good. And what it does is it works on um essentially vaginal atrophy thinning of tissue. Uh It helps with incontinence.

As a matter of fact, that's kind of their number one selling feature is that it helps with incontinence because it in the essentially what happens is the red light generates and stimulates the vaginal mucosal mitochondria so that you're getting more replacement and thickening of the tissue. The warmth collagen eights that tissue without damage. Like so many other things like the Mona leases and the, you know, all of the feminists and all those kinds of things. They rely on damaging your vagina to repair it. This is a damaged free vaginal at home device that's like a third the cost of a series of treatments and you keep it forever.

So I love this product. And then the vibration also provides the vaginal tone that you need for incontinence and lovemaking pleasure. And one of the things that's really great about it is that it increases lubrication. But what I also like about it is it's kind of in a way like foreplay done for you, where you're using it every other day for eight weeks, That's the protocol and then as As needed. But what I use it, I use it every other day or so as much as I can for the 12 minutes a day. I just insert it in the morning while I have my coffee in bed and I'm scrolling on Facebook and what I love about this is it it it gets up deep up inside the vagina and brings blood flow up there to the cervical area, The interior for nick's not just to the external spots that your partner can do to help you stimulate, you know, blood flow to your clitoral area or your labial area or maybe the out outer third of your vagina.

This really gets up in there and gets the whole vagina very full and engorged. And then that makes penetrative sex intercourse much more pleasurable because you've got good blood flow going and you're well lubricated. So I love this product. Hello, please get me a beef it. I love it, can I just say like so much of the other topics on this summit have been about mitochondria and stimulating mitochondria and even the nervous system and how we can stimulate new nerve cells and in hands, you know, optimize their function, and this is the same type of thing that we're doing here.

We're just being able to target an intentional, uh be very intentional about optimizing this area inside our bodies, where it would be hard to, you know, otherwise get light therapy, right? We talk about light therapy for other things. Why wouldn't we use light therapy for the mitochondria in our vagina? Yep, that's what sexual bio hacking is. It's all of the same basic tenants applied to your genital systems. Because why if you're going to be a super bio hacker, would you not also want to have excellent in health, healthy, healthy, full of sensation, genitalia? Right. Yeah.

So, okay, go ahead. Well, yeah, and I'm just thinking like, how much of that really does affect the rest of our life, like you say, like not only the the biology of having an orgasm, having intercourse and the chemicals that are released in our brain because of that, and how that has been shown, the science is there on how it supports the rest of our health, but then even just our relationship health, right? And that ability to connect and feel confident in yourself in having and even seeking out that connection with your partner. Yeah, nobody wants to be in a relationship with a grumpy old partner, right? Yeah. And not having sex makes you grumpy.

Absolutely, Yeah. I mean you're missing out on a large piece of that connection and lovemaking. Yes. You need to be loved in body mind and spirit. Um One of the other things that I think is really important is self pleasuring because not everyone has a partner and there is a particular set of tools that I recommend for self pleasuring. So I'm gonna run through those quickly if that's okay with you, that would be great. Yes. Good. So the very first one is my favorite and this is this is the product, this is the Miss by there's also a lady by that's a little bit longer And these are by fun factory. And um the only types of things that I recommend with regard to devices um pleasure tools, I don't think they're toys. I think their tools and um and Luke's is 100% nontoxic. So so many of the loops that are out there are um they have things in them that are unpronounceable and anything that you're gonna buy from Target walmart CVS, Walgreens is going to have unpronounceable in it.

What I recommend is organic refined avocado oil or sweet almond oil. I don't recommend coconut oil because coconut oil has a net a natural antibacterial component to it. Which your vaginal microbiome has a bacterial stasis if you're in good shape and introducing coconut oil in there can often be disruptive to

Solo Pleasure, Toys, and Orgasm Training 20:30

the bio. This is awesome. Thank you so much for bringing that up. We had I had the interview with Dr Betsy Greenleaf and we talked about the vaginal microbiome and we did not get to this topic about coconut, coconut oil on the effect on the vaginal microbiome. So I'm so glad you're bringing this up. Thank you. You're welcome. Uh So those are the two things I recommend. They're easy to find on amazon. What you have to watch out for with the avocado oil is you have to have it be refined because otherwise it'll be green and stain your sheets.

The brand I like is not organic but it's health and beauty grade and it's called Hobie H. O. B. E. And that's a pretty good one for now. I'm actually working on my own pure process. They're so hard to find. So just how important this is though because you know we're talking about bringing more blood flow to the area which means that this is very absorptive issues. And so anything that we are putting there is going to be absorbed directly into the bloodstream and so you know it doesn't it's different than the rest of our body where we have the skin and it's you know a little harder. It still gets through.

But something like this where you're bringing in so much blood flow at that time. Yes it's going to be very important to have things that are non toxic because those will be getting into your bloodstream. I always say if you wouldn't put it in here, don't put it in there because this is your vaginal mucosa is the same as your oral mucosa. They're very very similar um skin types and they, you know, just like when you put something under your tongue sublingual, so it goes right into your blood and that's what's happening in your vagina.

Now, going back to why this is the number one tool that I recommend for women, is that um there's two reasons number one, this has two motors, that's why it's called the by and the two motors are independent motors. And what's good about it is that this particular flap is very wide and it's able to. And what I like about the myths by being smaller is that it has this nice bump for the g area. I'm gonna talk about the urethral, sponge the G. Spot and sexual healing in just a minute. But um it's a small compact intra vaginal device that vibrates intra vaginally as well as extra vaginally in the clitoral area.

When you go to dot com and you download and look on page 12, you'll see that your clitoris is a tip, a shaft, two arms, two legs. And what you need to do is stimulate all of it, not just the tip. And so what I say to women who are solo or who have been ill or who haven't had sex for a while or who want to keep themselves in good shape sexually is to have a solo pleasuring practice where every day, every other day, your self pleasuring in the morning, in the evening, whatever is right for you with a very high quality tool like this because that's going to keep the blood flowing, It's going to keep the lubrication going.

It's going to keep your pleasure sensation heightened and expand your pleasure ability. And using a vibrator like this is gonna help cross train you to enjoy penetrative orgasms, which all women are capable of having. It's just a learned skill. And so many women keep having intercourse without learning how to have orgasms from, from intercourse without any clitoral stimulation. The clitoris is completely wrapped around the vagina. It's not just that little nub at the top. So what's often missing for women is their partners are going too fast. Remember that the man's penis, if he thinks about his penis, let me show you another picture.

If he thinks about his penis as a tongue instead of a piston, you'll have better sex. This is what this is what the penis looks like. And here's the part that's sticking out, right. This is the half that's outside of his body and all the stuff in that box is what I call the buried penile shaft. Look how it wraps down. If he starts thinking about having more articulation of his penis while he's entering you as the feminine. Then you're going to end up being able to slow down and guide him in in feeling and asking him for what you need with regard to sensation, to actually achieve climax from penetration, which is going to increase the desire for you to have sex, which is going to increase your overall health. So instead of your health getting worse and worse and worse, because you're just kind of sacrificing yourself for the good of your partner, you're actually asking him for intimacy because it's so pleasurable for you, which is keeping your relationship happier and your health improved.

And a big part of getting to that is using self pleasuring toys like these are tools like these so that you can have those kinds of deep, internal orgasms and then they you naturally have taught your body how to do it. You've created those neural pathways that you talked about dr amy, and then they naturally happen during penetration as well. Um there's another two and I love this because like, again, like this is just exactly how the body works, and this is exactly what we do with other things, right? Like we train the mind to do certain things and this is how we train the vaginal tissues to have these types of experiences.

It doesn't just automatically happen. And I know that you hear this all the time, which is, you know why you do what you do. And many women come to me as well, and when they feel safe to talk about this. Yeah, they complain that I just have sex in order, you know, to have let him let him have his orgasm, but I'm not orgasm and he doesn't want to, you know, spend the time and I don't even know what to tell him in terms of how to get me to that orgasm. And so yeah, they end up saying something very similar to I I just feel like I'm sacrificing myself in order to, you know, fulfill his needs, but I'm not getting my needs met and I don't even know how to do that.

They, one of my top selling programs is something called the Steamy Sex Ed video collection, it's eight Dvds or videos or both. Some people don't have great broadband, so they like the Dvds And it shows over 200 passionate lovemaking techniques, heart connected, passionate lovemaking techniques. I designed this. It's one of my top sellers because I bet it is it's like an antidote to pornography, pornography is very degrading to women and not for her pleasure. What the steamy sex ed video collection is is something that I made for women to watch so that they could see how women, how us women want to be made love to because what I teach our passionate lovemaking techniques, not I essentially teach how to transform having sex into making love.

And the steamy collection is very good for couples to watch together. I made it for couples to watch together and practice the techniques on each other because I believe you can teach an old dog new tricks and I stand for how much I know men want to give their women pleasure. So when a woman says to me, I don't know what I want. I just know what I'm getting, isn't it? I say, well, watch these 200 techniques. I think you'll find something in there that you would like. So it's never too late to have a renaissance of your love making.

Most of the people who are in their forties, fifties and sixties are my customers because they get to that age and they say, I always thought my sex life could be better and now I have the time to commit to it and devote to it and I'm learning how and then they go through the process and they're like, oh my God, we're having so much fun. Thank you so much for making us know what, helping us know what to do. You know? It's it's never too late. Yeah. Yeah. That's the great thing about the nervous system and these tissues is that at any point you can change uh them to respond differently. Those neural pathways, that neural plasticity is right there. And especially with like the light therapy, right? Like the mitochondria and enhancing those like you can, I'm assuming accomplish this in a relatively short amount of time.

Eight weeks because you're stacking all this together. Oh yeah, yeah. Fantastic. Once you start taking flow and you're using your and your solo pleasuring you are going to be so wet, so turned on, so full of life, so flirty, you're gonna start appreciating your body because that's another thing that happens as we as women were estrogen dominant and we're very very judgmental. Estrogen makes us very judgmental and makes us very dissatisfied with things including our own body. Men being testosterone dominant, they have much more of a, you know a daily sex drive and testosterone makes rose colored goggles.

He doesn't see our flaws, He loves us for who we are. What he wants us to do is love our body and love our bodies responses and not worry about the cellulite, the poochy tummy, the saggy breasts. He just wants to put his hands on all that stuff. It feels good to him. So what I say is when you have body image issues and you can't relax during lovemaking because you're constantly having these self critical thoughts. I like to say you change the radio station in your mind. K. L. U. V. And you start remembering my body is amazing.

My husband loves me. I'm a beautiful woman. I have a gorgeous heart. I'm going to let myself surrender to my pleasure and take joy in my life and when you begin to do those kinds of k love affirmations. It just lowers your stress and increases your arousal.

Trauma Healing and Internal Release Techniques 30:40

Yeah, I'm thinking of a lot of what I've done over the last several years is a lot of trauma work with people and that's exactly what comes up with this are these beliefs that we have about ourselves that we see ourselves as as bad as broken and so that really holds us back then when it comes to being able to connect with someone because we're afraid that they're going to reject us if they see that in us and so we don't surrender to being able to even allow ourselves to feel pleasure. We feel like we don't deserve it. And so that I mean that's just a complete block when it comes to relationships, connection and especially something like lovemaking, right? What Rupaul said, if you can't love yourself, how the hell is anybody else gonna love you? You know, like you gotta go first and love that girl or love that guy, love that person you're in there is victim mindset and there are a lot of people who suffer from betrayal and they can never get out of it and their life is ruined.

And I don't want anyone watching us today to feel that that might be them. Mhm. Yeah. And same same thing with the vaginal tissues, right? Like we can retrain those neural pathways that have gotten us to those belief systems, We can re change rewire change those at any point in our life as well. So yes, thank you. Like, you're not stuck with with those beliefs, even if you have been hurt and betrayed, no matter what has happened in the past, all of that can change when we apply these principles of the body to the nervous system.

You're either growing or you're dying, I'm growing. It's your choice. Alright. A couple more things I want to show you. Uh this is also a fun factory product and it's called the tiger. And this is actually a different kind of a vibrator. It's a thruster, what they call a pulsate er and you can see how it's kind of like going in and out. So, for a lot of women who are recovering from cancer, recovering from surgery and they want to rebuild their vaginal ability to handle penile penetration this particular and they make these in smooth and ridged versions.

This goes up against the clitoris, um and the g spot um and this goes up against the cervix or the interior for nix and it's got many different speeds and motors and things. But this particular type of a vibrator is a very unusual vibrator. And fun factory is one of the only ones that makes these pulsate er or thruster categories. It's funny, fun factory is a german company. They're very high quality, they're like the Porsche of, I did not know that they were german based and they call them pulsate because they can't say thrust.

So they call them pulsating because in german, the trust is a very hard word for them. Isn't that so cute? So there's this and then there's something along these lines. If you're very clitoral e focused and that's your initial way of having an orgasm. This type of a product is also very nice. Um and I also like these small ones. Um I I do a lot of primary research in the sexuality space. And one of the things I ask couples is what are you really good at in bed and what are you really bad at in bed?

And most couples in their bottom 41 of them is we don't incorporate toys or tools into our lovemaking practice. And I'm like you are crazy, you are leaving so much, you know, on the table, so much pleasure on the table. If you're having trouble crossing the chasm chasm, bridging the orgasm gap. If you're having trouble having orgasms from penetration or from intercourse, then I recommend something small. Like one of these. These are from hot octopus and hot octopus. This one's called the ammo and this is called the digit and the digits like a ring pop. And it's nice when your hands are full of lube to have this, you can be, you can have positions where your partner is penetrating you but you still have clitoral stimulation. This one because for some women they've got like one little spot. This is the perfect spot for them and they want that spot to go earlier, right, perfect. You know.

So these are very nice, high quality, beautiful motors bullet vibe type thing. But like the 21st century bullet vibe and these are great for companions to intercourse or for your purse or pocket. Now, I want to talk about trauma healing, trauma can happen through um rough sex to men and women. It can happen through uh sexual abuse. It can happen through horseback riding, sports damage. There are a lot of ways that you can become traumatized. And uh one of the things that happens is that you hold your trauma in your genitals as a woman and a man.

And to release that trauma, you actually need hands on body work, hands on bodywork, which means intra vaginal for the man and on the penis and testicles and perennial area for the man and the G spot, it's called a G spot. It's a spongy tissue. It's actually called the urethral sponge. And if you look on page 12 of the hot to trot book, you will see inside where the g area is. It's called the urethral sponge. It's the tube that surrounds your bladder, your urethra from your bladder exiting out your vagina is a spongy tube surrounding that bladder line.

If you will that that tube where the urine flows out that spongy tissue, it holds our trauma and it's located right inside your vagina, on the top roof of your vagina, like 12 o'clock on the clock of the vagina and right about the entrance to about one knuckle in. Uh so that much is kind of swoops down and stimulating that area. Having your partner with organic avocado oil or sweet almond oil and first external massage very slowly warming you up till you're ready for digital penetration fingers inside you and then a lot of pressure and slow stroking side to side circles, windshield wipers up and down but not in and out. This is not a piston.

You got to get away from the piston mentality. It's painful to the vagina. And if you don't have a partner who can give that to you. These are the tools that I like. This is what this is called the enjoy pure wand, E. N. J. N. J. O. Y. Pure wand. This is very heavy medical grade stainless steel and you can start with a small knob and then you can do the large knob and you insert this yourself and you can press up against that roof of your vagina and you can stimulate that area for emotional release. You can also, this is a very expensive products like an 80 or $90 product but this is a 15 or $20 product and this is there are, these are glass wands, they're readily available and this is something you can easily buy on amazon and if it has a point that's another way that you can self stimulate or have your partner stimulate the that area for emotional release.

What you will find have you, if you have been traumatized is that that spot will be very hard often richie and can even be painful and when touched give you feelings of sadness and if that is true then you have to go very, very slowly. But as you slowly warm that up it will start to inflate and engorged with blood and stimulation, you will start to let go. You may cry, you may sob, you may scream, you may make weird sounds and it is your job to let all of that go because it's only a transition portal through to emotional release and sexual healing and when you are in the thick of it and you're like I don't think I can go through this again, it's so it makes me so sad.

You know you're all most there don't give up. So those are some tools that I really wanted to show you. And then there's one more little genius tool that I want to show you. This is called the o nut o nut. There you go. And these are funny little bumpers. There are a lot of women for whom size is an issue of their partner but not the size being too small, the size being too big, he hurts her when he penetrates her and these go on the base of his penis and you can stack them to get just the right amount of bumper, it's a bumper so his penis is surrounded by the bumper when he penetrates you, he's not going to be able to go as deep in and you can find just the right amount, see how they just, they just stack up aren't they cool?

They feel good too. And that way he's still getting the stimulation of the shaft of the base but he's getting the penetration and you can relax because he's not going to hurt you. This is way more common than you'd think women don't want to be deeply penetrated all the time. It's too much for them. So that's another one of those kind of like you know trauma healing management situations that we're talking about now there's one last thing I want to show you with regard to the toy piece of it and that is can I, can I been real quick um so like you you just kind of like opened up this whole new level of understanding and insight for me and I wanna I want to kind of bring it back to the other some of the other interviews that I've done with some somatic, experiencing trauma therapists and even neuro effective touch.

The founder of neuro effective touch and so much of what we talked about was not only how trauma is stored in the body of course, right? Like we we know that you and I know that but what they are finding with the science is and even I talked about this with Buisson where the like the because of how deep that vagus nerve runs and the vagus nerve is really our trauma response. The vagus nerve goes all the way down into our sex organs. And so people don't realize how deep that the source and where it is stored and that's really where you need to then um do some do some work to to do the trauma. And so I had never really thought though that

Male Sexual Recovery and Prostate Support 41:40

weight like it can actually not only go to the sex organs but like even to this specific G spot. And there are these techniques that can be extremely powerful, very intentional in releasing what has been a bracing pattern because that's what the vagus nerve it does when in response to trauma, it it tightens everything down, it braces, right? It gets into a defensive mode and so it's very rigid. And the fact that you can even feel this then in your own tissues in that G spot is amazing. Like this is this is amazing. Yeah.

It's interesting that um one of the things about the vagus nerve is that it it completes its path right down into the female genitalia. Male genitalia. It's not quite as connected. Which is one of the reasons why I have always postulated that men need less heart connection than women to functionally have sex. Now, men who have more heart connection have more pleasurable sex, but they don't have to have it to the degree that women do and I think it's directly related to the vagal nerve and and where how far it goes deep into the female Euro genital system, the on my website Better Lover dot com, I have a series called healing my sexuality with our L.

G. Hereto who is a somatic experience technique. Peter Levine formula train the trainer, She trains people on somatic experience technique all over the world and she's an expert in sexual somatic experience technique. And so what we did was we created a series of, think it's five or six videos about how to help most sexual. Most people don't go to have their sexuality healed by a therapist or somatic experience technique therapist or what have you, they do it at home themselves with their partner.

And so we created a video series for partners. What do you do when your partner gets triggered? How do you manage that? How do you help them? You know, release the trauma, how do you help them get to sexual wholeness. So, um I agree with you that our trauma is body based, not all mental and those techniques are spot on. I love that you have them as a part of your summit here. Thank you for you know, this is this has been a huge part of my life and my my healing journey. So it definitely wanted to have them on the summit as well. And it's making me remember back when I first started the somatic experiencing training myself and What started to come up, Susan was a lot of my body memory of some sexual trauma that I had had when I was 12 and I realized that that my body was ready to deal with this, ready to process this, ready to resolve this and that there was that next layer, the next level of healing and pleasure and enjoyment if I could get through this.

And I wish that I had known you back then because I would have, I would have known like how to do do this right. Um but but knowing that that was a part of my history and knowing that it needed to be done and knowing enough at the time to be able to, to work through it. It took me several months and I think that if I had known, you know you and your techniques, it would have taken me a lot less time. But but yes, like how important this aspect is of sexual Healing and whether you're working with a partner and have that blessing or if you're needing to do this for yourself by yourself, having the tools and the knowledge and the information to be able to do that.

It's so powerful. Thank you. About 80% of people across the gender spectrum have been sexually traumatized, it is the norm, not the exception and most people will never go to someone and have it done. So I believe in having partners heal each other and that that's just you know how it's going to get done. So I'm very practical. I like the practical stuff that's you know, what what can I do to help myself? That's that's my end up. You know, we started off talking about gains wave And for any man over 40, I mean the rich guys now, the 40 year old rich guys, they're just going in every year and getting gains wave treatments or every two years and getting gains wave treatments because they want to maintain their erectile function. They don't ever want to get get to the point where they can't get hard or stay hard. Um and then older men are realizing that this technique works for them. But there are some instances of people who have what you would call intractable erectile dysfunction.

And I wanted to point out a tool for that because there are a lot of people who say a lot of women, a lot of men who say I can't get a girlfriend because I can't get a hard on and I can't get it fixed gains weight won't help for me. My particular situation often it's diabetes that creates the intractable erectile dysfunction. It just kills your micro vessels and the blood flow. Yeah. And neuropathy. Diabetic neuropathy. So um for for those for those men, they think they're out of the game because they can't get a hard on.

And I say that's not true for two reasons. Number one, there are a lot of women for whom penetrative intercourse is off the table for one reason or another as well. And so you can still have a lot of great sex without erectile function. And there's a there's a tool that I think is a very, very good tool comes with its own remote control. Her. Yes. This funny little thing by hot octopus is um a plate right down here that vibrates and he can use this himself and put his penis inside here and then use this as a sleeve to give himself pleasure. Or he can flip it and have his penis inside here and the top vibrates as well. And she can hold that vibration. Mhm.

She can control the vibration with her thumb and putting it near the thing. So even if so, so what they can do is which I love is they can have her on top while he's being pleasured because your penis still feels good even if it's flaccid and she can sit on top and ride along and stimulate herself while they kiss and look at each other in the eyes and appreciate each other in our clothes. I really like that. And then the last thing I want to say about male erectile health is that prostate massage and stimulation is very, very important for men.

The most men end up with urine issues, um inability to close off the urine stream and ability to evacuate the bladder, nighttime sleep disruption from urinary issues. Um all the way through to retrograde ejaculation is prostate cancer etcetera. And the simple thing on top of nutrition and exercise, which is always the foundation of good health is prostate gland stimulation and you can get to it from as it can be any rowdy essentially. And this is a very nice prostate perennial vibration for him that includes a constriction device.

So he puts his penis inside here essentially actually goes like this. He puts his penis inside here and this part is underneath his scrotal area, pressing up against the perennial area giving him prostate stimulation. While this part is very good for holding in the blood flow. One of the number one type of erectile dysfunction that man suffer from is venous leak,

PRP, Regenerative Treatments, and Whole-Body Wellness 50:00

which means he can get the blood in but it won't stay and it leaks back out and that's a bad vascular system that's a leaky. It can't lock it's brittle now and so calcified. And so so it can't lock the blood in. This locks the blood in and stimulates the prostate which increases his sensation. So he's more able to climax because as men age often not just the young guys from pornographic masturbation, but the old guys from loss of neural sensation. They have trouble ejaculating. And so they have what's called delayed ejaculation, inability, or difficulty achieving climax, perennial stimulation, along with this constriction to hold the blood flow in is a very nice way that he can continue to have intercourse and achieve climax without wearing her out a lot of times, the old guy's got to go so long, she can barely stand it, you know? And so this is a very nice tool for that.

So, there are workarounds compromises fixes for everything that is holding anyone back from having the, kind of lovemaking that we all deserve as human beings on this planet. I think that's really the bottom line. And the other thing that I wanted to talk more about as prp, but I want to make sure that I'm answering your questions as well, because that was quite a long show and tell that we did. Um and I will give you links for everything I mentioned, so that anyone who's like, what was the thing will be able to find it.

Yeah, no, I appreciate you going over the toys. That's very important. And then yes, I definitely wanted you to go over this is part of, like the stack that you talked about, right? Like the stack for bio hacking sexuality. So, yes, that's definitely go through the prp, I know that many people, many more people are getting interested in that. So yeah, it would be good to have some useful information on that. Okay, so prp started out as an orthopedic remedy for people who had joint pain it would essentially take a vial of your blood, spin it down in a centrifuge separate out the white blood cells and the red blood cells.

And what they were left with was something called the vibrant rich matrix. It's a yellow kind of golden broth from your own blood that contains all your stem cells and healing and growth factors that are what your body uses to repair yourself when you cut yourself or break something or have any kind of a trauma. And when we can isolate that prp platelet rich plasma the yellow broth from your blood and then re injected into a specific area of your body, a neck vertebrae joints, a thumb joint, toe, joint, a knee, what have you? It allows your body to concentrate the growth and healing and reconstitute the tissue.

So PRP can be used on men's penises and women's vulva as on men's penises. It's very very good in combination with a vacuum erection device and traction device for pero knees. It's very good for tissue re volumizing and it's very good for stimulating new tissue growth for erectile function. I like it in combination with gains wave treatments which knocked the plaque off the penile arteries and stimulate new tissue growth. And then with the PRP injected into the penis, they numb your penis. It doesn't hurt. Um you get that turbo charge of healing.

So the effect of the gains wave is 10 x once you, it's a stack and then you go home and you do the penis pump every other day and that continues to improve and accelerate the healing and the atrophy reversal. Yeah. It's like guiding and training the new development of the tissues and it's like grow this way. This is how we want you to to be. Exactly. And then for women it's very very good for handling any kind of trauma, for tissue loss, for incontinence. Um A lot of women have things like episiotomy scars or they have been damaged from horseback or from rough sex or what have you.

And any, any woman is gonna have a couple of different issues when you really get down to it, You really talk to earth. It's gonna be like, yeah, my orgasms haven't been as tense, intense as they used to be. And honestly we don't even notice how much sensation loss we suffer when now I'm 59 I started having o shots when I was 55 I'm very lucky in that one of my best friends is like a world leader and giving o shots. So every time I go to visitor I get the full O shot deal and I had a little spot, your opening to your vagina is called your entry royal sphincter, it's a sphincter muscle that opens and closes in a circle and for a lot of women that gets damaged through various things, childbirth, sex etcetera.

And dr Robin Benson gave me injections right into that sore spot that was always bothering me and it completely healed. She reversed my incontinence and she reconstituted my clitoral structure and urethral structure by putting the O. Shot material from my own body right inside the and because the clitoris and the urethra is like a sponge, it soaks it up and you get this wonderful new nerve growth. And I now at almost 60 my orgasms feel as intense and delicious as they did when I was 35. It's like rolling the clock back 20 or 25 years you think to yourself, oh my God, I had no idea how much sensation loss I had suffered.

Like I just, it just slow slowly. You lose it slowly over the years and you don't realize. And then you get it back and you're like, oh my God. Plus as you get older and you use all these devices, you learn how to have better orgasms, different kinds of, there's 15 different ways that women can orgasm. And so it's not just the tip of the clit and you're done. There's so many different ways you can orgasm and so you can get better orgasm orgasm. And as you age and you can have the intensity of your youth through using O shots. So it's an absolutely wonderful technology and I've actually gone, I've actually had pain in my, in this little thing.

I heard it scuba diving and I've had the region X injections in this joint muscle to really fix that problem, as well as having the shots in my vulva. So PRP is wonderful. I also have PRP facelifts and hair lifts, so I've always struggled with having thinning hair. My family has thinning hair, and a decade ago I gave up gluten and I realized that it's not a genetic issue, thinning hair in my family. It's that we're freaking celiac that we don't tolerate gluten well, and it took about a decade for me to fix my microbiome and it's still, I still have sensitivities to food and things like that.

I'm always working on, you know, 50 years of damage doesn't reverse overnight, but by the time last year rolled around, I had I had to PRP hair lifts, which is basically where they inject my own prp right into my scalp. My hair was thick and luxurious and incredible. And I also use a couple of red laser hat and I also of course, take all my be methylated B vitamins and my hair was thick and gorgeous. And then I got Covid and post Covid viral hair loss, I lost about 50% my hair, I've got it all teased up today and kind of, you know, uh puffed and combed over type of thing, but I'm going to go back again next month and get the pRP in my hair because it worked, it made my hair thicker than it had been since I was 30 years old.

And then I got the PRP facelift, which I loved. I used to get the Botox and all the fillers and everything, getting the thickened PRP plumped in there and then the micro Derm with the PRP punched into the top layers. Really make sure skin looked nice. It is and I had it done on my decolletage, which I'm, I had to really go out in the sun a lot from coronavirus because vitamin D is the one thing that really made me feel better. I was doing injections of liquid vitamin D as well as sitting in the sun every day just to live to literally live and not die.

There were times when I thought, oh man, I'm, I might die, I might die from this, you know, like it's scary to get coronavirus. So now I'm going back and I'm fixing the haggard skin, the loss of hair, all this stuff from the trauma and hey, coronavirus is just one of many kinds of trauma. So we go through in our health and what I want to say about PRP is that it can be used for myriad types of regenerative, you know, health and beauty as well as sexuality as well as pain. So I just can't talk enough about the benefits of PRP.

I am a lover of PRP well and it's again, just harnessing like your, your own biology of yourselves and just boosting that connective tissue bringing volume to it bringing structure to it in a way that it can heal and and yeah whether it's your hair or the sphincter around the vagina like it's gonna bring structure and and healing to those tissues. Yeah and another thing I really like to do is I like to take collagen in my morning smoothie. Uh And I like to make my own yogurt with a bacteria strain called El Router. I have you studied l rotary at all?

I have heard of it. I have not studied it yet. So M. I. T. And stanford have both studied this particular bacteria strain and it's what I used to cultivate my yogurt and I cook it for 36 hours at 100 degrees. I use a yogurt maker called a luv Ellie. I'll give you a link for it. It's a water bath yogurt maker and it makes the most delicious healthy natural yogurt with this particular strain that that has been shown to not only depress your desire for sugar. So it's very good for people who are on weight loss regimes who or who are diabetics and who are crave E.

Of sugar or people who have yeast infections and are craving of sugar and tamped that down. But what it also one of the effects that it has is that it creates a subdermal scaffolding in the system on which the collagen can hang. So taking the collagen is good but accelerating it with this yogurt. This lactobacillus, rotary yogurt for the collagen scaffolding really keeps the skin plumped up. And then if you take highly ironic acid, the high molecular weight kind is very good for skin and eyes, it holds the cellular moisture in and then the low molecular weight, highly ironic acid is very good for joints.

If your joints feel creaky and stiff, 10 days of high molecular weight, it's called lou person, I'll put a link to it. It's fantastic. Um your joints just stop cracking your like, oh my God, I'm going up and down off the floor again. This is again, yes. You know, if you're going to have hot sex, you gotta be able to get into sex position so you need to keep your joints in good shape to it all comes together and this is my like, this is health, right? It's not just sexual health, it's not just physical health. It is health in general because it really it's it's all of your life awesome. Susan where can people find you?

I know that we'll have all of these links in the show notes. Where can people find you, where is the best place to find you and and kind of benefit more from the content that you're putting out there. Yeah, I have an email newsletter and you can read all of my past newsletters. I've got a couple 1000 of them and it's all searchable by index. So any issue I've mentioned or anything that I haven't. You can go to personal life media dot com and use the search bar there and you'll go into a rabbit hole that you never even imagined was possible. And then I have a couple of 100 videos about everything you can imagine sexually that are free to access at better lover dot com.

And then of course if you want the hot to trot book that's at home hot to trot book dot com. And I'll also give dr amy all the links to all the stuff we talked about so that you can find that one special thing that you want to do next because you can't do it all. But you can do the next thing to take care of yourself. Susan thank you so much for taking the time today to go over this important topic with us. I cannot appreciate you and your work enough and appreciate your time for today. Thanks for giving me an opportunity to open people to a world of possibility.

I hope that I have a good impact on as many people as possible through your great work. Thanks Dr amy. Thank you and thank you for joining us today. I am your host for this bio Optimized summit Dr amy and make sure you get the discount price for the recordings, the content, all of that good stuff because once the discount price is gone, it is gone forever. And I would just love to be able to see you inside connect with you more. Get to know you better. And together let's find that next level of health and aliveness.