
TOTAL Life Rest: Overhaul Your Life Goals

Founder & Business Strategist
TOTAL Life Rest: From Boredom to Weight Loss and Career Goals, Learn How to Overhaul Your Life to Become Who You Know You Were Meant to be
Dr. Kellee Rutley
Full Transcript
Summit Introduction and Guest Welcome 0:00
Welcome to the bio optimized summit where we are exploring the next level of physical and mental health you can achieve through targeted and intentional optimization. I am your host Dr Amy and today I am very excited to bring to you dr kelly Rutley. She has become a friend of mine but she is a chiropractor and a pioneer and sustainable weight loss, which is what we will be talking a lot about today with over 20 years of experience. Now working directly with clients and patients both offline and online, she is definitely an industry leader kelly and her husband scott owned and operated three chiropractic and weight loss clinics in san Jose Lake Tahoe and Solana beach California where they have helped now thousands of people lose all the weight they want so they can take their health back and really be living the life that they want to, being able to do that online and in person retreats all over the US really helps her expand her reach in this area and then she's also doing business mentoring, which I am also excited about and I hope that we can have a few minutes to pick her brain about that. And so kelly helps health coaches and health practitioners transition out of their day jobs and into this online world where they can have more impact with people kelly. Rutley, thank you so much for taking the time with me today to share your experience and knowledge.
Oh thank you so much. Dr Amy, it's been such a pleasure to get to know you this year, you know, every once every once in a while you meet someone in a situation like you and I did, which is I interviewed you for my global isolation solution and I that's one of the only times where I actually pulled in my business partner and I was like, we need to do this interview together because she's phenomenal and um you know, I just, I'm so glad we've gotten to meet and gotten to have the conversations that we get to have and you know, both of us share this this vision for really helping people optimize their health in a whole new way and at a whole new level.
So I'm honored to be here. Thank you. Yes, I love you. I love your work and found ourselves very aligned with our values and our approaches. Because sustainable weight loss as we're going to talk about is hard and a lot of people do the yo yo back and forth, get really frustrated in the process and so obviously something's not working something is is off. So what are the the problems that people experience if they are having that up and down back and forth, yo yo type of experience with their weight loss. Yeah, well, I'll just call out the biggest problem, right, the biggest overarching problem is this,
Why Dieting Fails and Weight Loss Becomes a Cycle 2:31
we were never taught how our bodies metabolize food, we were taught statistics and accounting and how to like create chemistry. You know, like the stuff the stuff we learned in high school. I wonder like how many of you are actually using any of a lot of what you learned in high school and even in college and as a prerequisite, I believe we should be taught how our bodies metabolize food. It's a very fundamental and basic thing that we don't know about ourselves. Don't you think that right, that lack of information and lack of education And then throw into it, that we were bombarded with a diet, a new industry back in the 60s and 70s that knew that we didn't know what we didn't know.
Which created a bunch of unfiltered um marketable humans, especially women. And so with them we were bombarded with marketing about diet and weight loss. Um and we didn't have the knowledge and information and the ability to decipher what's what makes sense and what doesn't. So like now you and I know and I'm sure your audience knows like if you think back, you're like yeah you know that Master Cleanse thing with the tea and the maple syrup? I mean now we all know like sugar is not great for weight loss, but we didn't know then when the Master Cleanse was popular that we didn't even know maple syrup was not going to help you lose weight, right? So we're susceptible to everything and we just didn't know what we didn't know. Um So that is I think that is actually the root cause of the problem itself. Um And so the solution for that is just teaching people like this is how your body metabolizes food.
This is this is what the what food, you know, and just learning how your body works. Like there's a there's a tv show, right? Like how things work. You know, my clients and yours too. I know when you teach them, they're like, oh my God, now it makes sense why I wasn't losing weight doing X, Y, Z and all the others. Yeah. When we can actually understand the body and its processes, it's not as confusing As we think it is, but when we see our health and our body doing things that are against what we are trying to achieve, it gets really frustrating and really confusing and my goodness, like I'm remembering just as you're speaking, my weight struggles started when I was I remember 14 in high school and I remember being so self conscious in the locker room with all the other girls and I was not happy with myself.
And so I even went and I talked with my pe teacher or coach at the time, and I asked him like, what do I need to do to lose weight because you know, obviously that was my biggest problem at that time in my life, right? And what excuse me a chill when I hear that, because I had a similar, I want to hear your story for sure. I had a very similar moment when I was about the same age, a little younger actually, I was in like middle school um and I went to my gymnastics coach with the same question, so I'm dying to hear what I'm scared, but I'm dying to hear it right, both scared and dying to hear and what he told me, stuck with me for over a decade, like that's how impactful that moment was for me.
Obviously he was someone that I looked up to and respected and so whatever he told me, I, I swallowed it all right. Like I took it all, believed it all and for over a decade kept trying to follow his advice which put me on this very unsustainable weight loss, the yo yo, and that was, you know what calories in calories out. And so I would like, I would, I would think that it was a motivation problem, that it was a self control problem. And so I would eat less exercise more and I would try to sustain that for as long as I could and then I'd feel so awful and I would give up and I would, you know, then gorge myself with food and all the weight would come back on and then I would feel terrible about myself and I had shame myself, I'd beat myself up and so then I would do that until I was like, no, I am going to do this this time and this time I'm going to stick to it, I'm not going to let myself more discipline, tighten it up girl.
Yes, yes. Over a decade kelly over a decade. I did that even through even a lot through medical school, because even in medical school, I don't feel like I was really talk these principles that I understand now and now that I know these principles, I don't even think about my weight and it's such a freedom because I'm focusing more on feeling good, doing what's, you know, supportive from my biology and I feel great and I don't even look at the numbers, but I've never looked better either. And like, this is the freedom that we can have when we truly understand the food metallic metabolism, like you're talking about. Yeah. And my goodness, thank you for bringing hope in very quickly because that your experience was also my experience and when I was going through all that to the calories and calories out, um I mean, we were all taught that that was the dogma of the times and it still, it still pops up.
I mean, I know that I still have moments where I'm like, oh, especially during corona, right? I was like, we sat I sat instead of working and standing if you notice I'm standing today for I I made a decision in september that I was going to bio hack a couple of things and I'll get to that later. But you know, even when I noticed, I'm like, God, I put on like I put on like £7 and I was like, oh and I'm like, oh because I'm not moving and I'm not working out, I gotta get outside, I got to get out there and start running and it was like, no, maybe you need to like stop drinking wine at night, you know what I mean? It was like, but still that old calories in calories out um I was taught the same thing by my gymnastics coach and I so think about the stories that you have to make up about yourself because that what you're doing doesn't work and it doesn't work for anyone and it doesn't it just doesn't work for anyone because it's not true, but we didn't know what we didn't know and that was the dogma of the day. And so when it's not working, the only place you can go to in your mind for what's wrong here is there there's something wrong with me, I'm not disciplined enough. I mean in my self talk got was uglier than that
Stress, Trauma, and the Body's Survival Response 9:23
when I was young. Like it was like you're lazy, you, you know, all the failure, right? And so then flash fast forward to women now, you know, in our forties, fifties, sixties, seventies, I have clients who are in their eighties who now have a 78 year old client in Portland Oregon, blessed her right now. Like she's living in a um I mean she's living in a beautiful apartment for, you know, for retirees, but like she's in the middle of Portland's or near Portland doesn't have anywhere to go, can't go outside because we have corona and now the fires and she's been losing weight.
She's lost like 12 or £13 of body fat. We know for sure it's fat and she's 78 she spent this much time in her life and she's a nurse, she was a nurse in the Air Force in Vietnam And she also was taught calories in calories out. So now at the age of 78 she's finally got a handle on it and it's like we don't have, it's just it's sad to me, I'm so happy for her at the same time. I think God can we just like grab every single woman out there so no one ever has to live like that because of the suffering involved. It's just, you know, mentally and emotionally and physically.
Right? So we just end up fatter, right? Exactly. I was gonna say like what what your her story being like in the Air Force and whatnot reminds me of just how much that stress plays a role in our body's ability to lose weight because when we are the stress response is to just kind of hold onto things right because it's like we go into scarcity mode inside of our body. And so when we are stressed, which shaming ourselves is a stress on the body. We are not going to be able to be having the biology to lose weight because it's going to be still very much in that survival mode and survival means hey, like we're gonna hold on to every, every cell, every fat cell because we may need the storage later on.
Yeah, yeah. And if people could just, I mean, and you, I mean, I remember when I interviewed you and you talked about the stress, you know, we were talking about the fight or flight response, which everybody is familiar with most people by now, right? Especially if they're watching this summit because not everyone's gonna opt into bio hacking. But for those of you who have like you've heard of that. But I remember when you did a, you came into one of our trek and talk. So we, we bring our clients together on saturday mornings and we moved together and at that time we were actually going outside and walking, you brought in all this whole piece of information for them that was missing for them, which was around trauma and the freeze response.
Our clients were like, I mean after you were done teaching that little piece, it was like, it was a missing piece for them and they were like, oh my God, I can stop being so hard on myself that during coronavirus like I can't, I'm not motivated to write my book. I'm not like, I'm not feeling like I want to go out and like live my vision and my best life, you know, and all that because there was a lot of that going on. Like as if during the coronavirus and the fires, oh, and now there's like hurricanes like that we should somehow just be able to like get online and just be like, nothing's going on, nothing going like nothing going on behind the curtain.
Coronavirus is back there, right? Like, but we're animals, right? Were animals survival system? Yeah, that has, and thankfully actually, thankfully our physiology has not adapted to our environment. We have created for ourselves. Right? Um, it's just this whole interesting conversation we're having right now. So I'm really glad to be having it with you somebody I thought, yes. And I, and this is something that I see frequently in my clients where they have this, you know, stress with their life and they also, you know, have have the extra pounds.
I always, you know, I'm going to send them to you for that piece though. I want to just work with their nervous system. But then when they go on vacation, right? And they may even be doing less exercise, but just because their stress level has gone down like the weight falls off. And so like this is so, it really is a fundamental principle when we're working with the biology and understanding just how much of a role the nervous system that stress And then even if you do go into overwhelm and that freeze response, how much that's going to affect your body and its ability to do well for you.
Yeah. Yeah. I love that. And you know, I always found that to be true true as well. You know, some people that go on vacation and they're worried they're gonna gain weight because you know, we do tend to eat maybe more and and indulge more. But just um and and people will think they're like, oh, it must be because I was more active. It's like, it's usually not because what we know is like exercise is not a great tool for fat loss or for weight loss, right? We learned that back in the calories and calories out calories. Yeah. If exercise was the greatest tool for weight loss. I remember when I would spend hours, remember the elliptical trainer, you guys remember that hideous thing.
You know, it was like, like this like in the gym, like I would go to the gym twice a day to get my cardio in in the morning and then my weightlifting in the afternoon and people are like, you're so disciplined. It's like, no, it's because I'm obsessed with not getting fat and that that's actually working in the stress response, right? So it's like, I don't know why isn't this working? Oh, and then let's starve on top of it, right? Let's reduce our calories. Mm hmm. Yeah. So let's talk about your model.
So you you have developed now a model for so sustainable weight loss. Right? So it's not we're not just going for short term. We are going for sustainable weight loss. Tell us about your model. Tell us about why it works okay. And I have to I have to tell you that as a professional. Like, you know what, you know that feeling that I I experience now, which is like when you, when you hit the zone of like this is what this is it. This is what's working. This is what's still working. This is what's working a long time, a long term for for my clients as a provider practitioner coach and doctor.
It's just like, oh my God, it's such a relief. Right? You're like, this is it. And this is not hard. And we we don't rely on products. We don't rely on fake foods. We don't, I mean, my clients don't even really buy supplements, like they might when they get into health optimization, which is like after they lose the fat. But my clients are losing like £10.20 pounds, £50 100 pounds and more of body fat. Just with minor shifts in in the way they're already eating to shift them
Kelly's Sustainable Weight Loss Model 16:48
into fat burning physiology or fat burning metabolism, which means, you know, and people are going, oh, I know what she's talking about. Talking about that keto thing. No, no, no, no, no, Okay. I always tell everyone right away. I'm like, I don't coach, I don't coach keto. Okay. For many, many reasons I won't get into. But what I teach my clients and it does take an individual strategy for each person. There's kind of a gen approach, right? There's a general approach, but then there's a lot of individuals within that that fall that need, you know, customization because not everything works exactly the same way for everyone because you're a chemistry lab with this whole history behind you of everything you've done before and how just how your body works. But I use a a properly formulated ketogenic approach. So that ketogenic just means, oh, I'm using fat for fuel now instead of sugar and glycogen.
And let's make sure that that fat I'm using for energy is actually my body fat first until I don't need to get rid of any more of this and then continue on and using used dietary fat and somebody fat for fuel primarily, you're always using a little bit of carbohydrate, like ages. It's not like you're never using a little bit of everything. But primarily we just shift into using that as a source and fat is a clean source of like if you think about it as gas, it's high octane, turbocharged gas. It has more calories in it than sugar.
Carbohydrates. So it's cleaner fuel and then ketones have even more calories. So they're even cleaner fuel. And it's not, you know, I don't want to get too much into the science of it because what people like you and I tend to do is over the simple, so I don't want to make it sound harder than it is. What I ask my clients to do is I put on blinders because as I mentioned, when we first started, I shared with you what the actual root cause and the real problem is, and that is that you are bombarded with misinformation, false information and overcomplicated podcast interviews. Like I watched some podcasts and as much as I look up to, you know, a lot of the people that I follow and watch, I'm like you'd have to be going for a PhD to understand that.
So it's like I like to bring it down to the simple daily doable and just like put on the blinders and ignore the noise and let's just make it really simple, really easy. Really doable. Um from a physiological perspective, right? Because that's the easy part, we can do that in eight days, like literally eight days. I can dial that in. And then what I do it with my clients is I bring in people like you dr amy because it's not it's not the physiology and the food and all that, that derails people, all of the other stuff that comes in when they're like they're £10 down. And then all of a sudden they have a relationship issue and they use food to soothe or you know, they're £50 down and all of a sudden there states on fire, you know, and they have to wear a mask and you know, all of that stuff comes in, so then I pull in other experts like yourself to solve the problems that you're the best at solving. So um I'm very clear, I don't solve all problems, but I do solve the weight gain, the fat gain and the fat loss problem and I do it really, really well. Um and I know how to find people like you to solve the other problems that actually stop people from sticking with what they need to stick with for a year maybe, you know, to be like me going, okay, so you just do this for a year. We did, did I ever show our paddles no, isn't that awesome, That is awesome.
So we had a, we had to do a retreat online. Normally we do live right, we go hike mountains and we do all these like really cool things because it's fun for us, but we did it online and this is our paddle nap and a yes girl on the other side, but I picked this up because I'm like, if I just told you like this is amy, this is all you have to do for a year and you'll lose £100 Right, this is this is actually what's kind of true though. But after a while you'd be doing this and then you're £20 down and you're like I don't want to do that anymore, I want to do this now.
Right? So this is like what we call this is our elusive unicorn and he actually you put a little rainbow ball in there and you can like squeeze it and pop out a unicorn. But what happens is people have something that works that we give them and then they get bored. And then because we live in the internet which is not filtered for you remember by the way, the diet industry is still bombarding you with B. S. Right? But now you're waving this paddle and you're like this is working. But I'm bored. I'm bored of the gas pedal and along comes the elusive unicorn of the master cleanse. And then people think, you know, it's like, you know, the the squirrel going up a tree and your dog like can't not follow it, right? That's what happens.
So they may bring in people who can help you just stay in the arena of what's working for you. So that's my business partner who you've met Renee Ramsdell, She's an endurance athlete and an endurance mindset trainer and she's really good at at hacking people's strategies for like getting out of things. So that's like what I rely on her for. Mhm. I'm wondering whether this boredom relates to the dopamine because there's a lot of people that have a dopamine deficiency. Many people with any kind of like chronic stress or trauma, like their dopamine is just depleted and we do get dopamine especially from food and especially from eating sugars. And so as we're transitioning out of that, I'm wondering whether they get to that point where it's just like they feel that dopamine deficiency and here comes the unicorn and it's something new.
It's something novel. And so they go for that for that dopamine rather than understanding like, hey, I can get my dopamine from these other ways now and that would actually help them stick better. I need to think more about that dr kelly. Hacked it. You just hacked it for Me too. That is where's my other K. That was an oh snap, that's now because okay, so let me share this with you to total transparency. All right, okay, so I teach this, I coach this, right? Um I get bored of this. I have a trainer who trained me to do a 50 K for my 50th birthday.
Like I have complete trust in Renee Ramsdale. Like I've got my team, I've got you, I've got my people. Did you not do you know what I did two weeks ago, I bought this freaking online v shred program because I was like, I don't know, I got sucked into the videos and the photos and like all these people would like ripped abs and it was like, it was only 100 and $97. I was like sitting in my bed in the morning on
Dopamine, Boredom, and Staying Motivated 24:18
a weekend and I reached over my credit card, should not be near my bed credit card. And I bought this thing and it's sitting on my lap sitting on my laptop and it's and I was a personal trainer to like, I don't need to learn this stuff. But you know what I um I was I'm an athlete, right? My and yeah, I'm sure the dopamine deficiency if I look back at my entire life, I've always gone for dopamine hits. I mean that's why we do some of the stuff we do, right? Absolutely. And this is why for many of us the covid changes with the covid have been so difficult because all of a sudden now we're used to being able to go out and get things from dopamine, like connect with other people.
Um see our friends get hugs and exercise and when that all of a sudden change and we're not moving as much, we're not connecting as much those sources of dopamine got taken away. And so yeah, we've seen kind of more online activity. People buying things that they really don't need, but in that moment they're feeling that dopamine deficiency. And so that's what's really driving those decisions and short term. Yeah, it makes them feel happy, it makes them feel good. They've got that dopamine and then it's, you know, afterwards that they're like, man, yeah, thank God it was only 100 and $97.
I'm like, okay, so this is great. So thank you for bringing that up because that's actually been a little bit of an area from where I'm like, of of frustration. I'm like, I think my clients are misbehaving when they do that. So as a matter of fact, I'm actually going to bring that into one of our coaching calls so that they can now let themselves off the hook too because in those moments when they go down the podcast rabbit hole and they're like, I just bought dr so, and so's thing and I'm like, okay, but you don't need that. I just did the same thing this morning when I was not, I was getting myself ready. So as you can see like this is so cool, right? I can get up 15 minutes before I talk to you dry shampoo, the hair throw on a jacket. Right?
Um, So the, for the last two years, a big part of my business that I love is I travel, I was traveling and speaking. And so that became a whole new thing for me because I came out of my brick and mortar chiropractic head down for, I don't know, 12 years adjusting spines, right? Person to person to, person to person to person and coaching them in fat loss in the evenings with mindful eating and food strategies and all that. And then I got into my online business and I love that. And I love like the first time you do a webinar, the first time you do a Facebook live pop pop right? And that got boring.
So then I started traveling to speak and I really like, I honestly missed that high of the nerves of getting on stage in front of 500 people. I missed like the, the anxiousness of like, I hope I make my flight. I can't wait to see my people when I get there. Like, there's a lot of like brain chemistry going on there. Yes, you just opened my eyes to something good good. Um, and yeah, cause this is really powerful once, once you just notice this pattern in yourself or your clients, you know, then it's easy to build into a routine like, okay, I know that I need some dopamine. So how am I going to create something novel today in my life that won't, you know, won't have any negative consequences to myself.
But something novel, something new. Something interesting that will give me that dopamine because we all need the dopamine and it's just a matter of how how are we getting it? Yeah, well that's great. Right. So do you mind if I share with you a couple of things that I've done recently. I love it. Yes. And I'm gonna say like the your facebook post about the bear in the tree like that's a dopamine moment totally. I was like I could I would have climbed up the tree with the bear just to get more dopamine honestly right?
Like my daughter network. Yeah like anything even just talking about it like I know I'm getting a dopamine hit right now just talking about travel and talking about all these things um if you notice so a little hack for you guys like we are limited in what we're able to do and here in California amy you and I are very limited right? Corona plus the smoke and all that stuff and you and I are both endurance. We like to go out and work out hard outside can't imagine why. Um and we can't so it's like during between like april and july I mean my moods just tanked. I know I went into the freeze, you helped me to understand that and the lack of dopamine, it was like God it felt like nothing um nothing was exciting.
I was like, oh God like everything was felt taken away right? And I know I'm not alone in that. So I was just recently before we did our online retreat I'm like what can I do to like just spice up my own business life, you know because we're coaching what we're coaching we're doing what we always have done and we will continue to do the last thing I wanted to do is like do some kind of crazy, like you turn pivot in my business and I do actually see a lot of people doing that and I wonder are they doing it because of the boredom of of actually the our life situation. Is it really the business they're in or the relationship, how many people are leaving relationships or having affairs?
I don't know because of just the boredom of life, Right? So here's what I'm doing. So as you can see, I'm standing last time you and I talked and I interviewed you. I was sitting at my desk. I do not sit at my desk anymore. Every call, every interview. Every group call I stand and this is for me, not for my client. But it does help, right? Like they see the same background and after a while they get bored, but I have this screen behind me, so I'm standing up that boost what my metabolism. Yes. So I figured there are four live group calls every week that I lead, that's four hours every week.
Three weeks out of the month. That's 12 hours a month that I was sitting. So now by just standing That's raising my basal metabolic rate. And what does that do? That prevents me from gaining weight. So I'm not gonna, it's not it's not to get me fitter or leaner or lose a lot of weight, but it's to help me prevent that normal weight gain that I experienced the £7 up is now gone. The other thing I have, can I show you my cool? I think everybody should, you guys should all be standing. So because I'm standing here anyway and when I'm coaching my clients, they don't care what I'm doing, right? They don't mind if I move around.
So I have this band and all I do is when I'm standing here coaching, I just do like a couple of bicep curls like why not write? It keeps me a little bit more energized and then I just do the other side and guess what I've noticed after me doing this for the last three weeks when I get on a coaching call with my clients, they're all standing. I love it. Like you're creating an environment for yourself that promotes movement. Yeah, exactly. And like I can stand here and I can just like, I've got this like exercise band,
Movement, Biohacks, and Building a Healthier Lifestyle 31:58
I love these, these are the game brand. I wasn't gonna share all this, but I am, I don't make money from this by the way, but I like these ones and I can just stand here and I can hold the band. You don't even need to see it like right now, I'm doing like a tricep extension, right? I'm just, you know, the back of the arm that we're all going, oh my God, what happened to my arms, right? So I'm just standing here and I'm moving and it's just like a couple. I'm not like sweating and I'm not out of breath. But you know that is like a very simple bio hack, which I mean you could do what I just showed you and I think I spent maybe $30 or you can go get a peloton for thousands of dollars.
I've invested in a little more expensive bio hack. And I have my setup right here with a separate monitor so that I can have it up on a standing desk. And then I have my camera, I have my whole body vibration plate on the floor that I stand on so that when I'm doing my work and whether I'm typing or reading responding to emails, I can, I'm just always on the vibration plate and sometimes I'll even do squats on it or I'll stop for a minute and do some push ups on it just to give myself that dopamine awesome and you know the ocelot oscillating.
And if you get a good one, I mean you might want to share with your community because there are really bad ones. Um and they're really good ones. And as a chiropractor like vibration is actually the thing that protects your bone density, yep. Not you don't have to go out and run and pound the pavement. But that vibration for women especially. Oh girl. So so you like took what I do and you like 10 X. Did it, I love it. I think it's, it's great and everyone can do. Well the simple things, Right? Exactly, yep, yep. It's, it's very simple things and just starting to incorporate this and making this your life rather than just something that you're doing to lose weight right now, just make this, your life, make this how you live your life, because you'll also notice that you're more engaged, right?
Like when you're standing, you're going to be more engaged with the person that you're talking to because you're more alive, you're feeling you're feeling more energized and that's gonna come across. Yeah. And let me give you a statement that I came up with the other day because I was really thinking about like, um why does it feel so good to be down here doing a live or an interview with you and using my bands and sometimes I'll do interviews, you know, late into the evening and I'm like, why does that feel so much better to me and make me so much happier than like sitting upstairs watching the news, drinking a glass of wine every night, which is what I was doing during corona, like six ACL, I came and I was like, I'm done, pour a glass of wine before dinner, sit on the couch and turn on the news to find out.
Oh my God, what else, what else happened today? Right? That's like the worst kind of, right and you know, for so many reasons, there's so many things about that that are not gonna set anybody up for great mental health, poor mental health, poor sleep, weight gain fat, gain slower metabolism, more stress, right? I was doing all the wrong stuff And the statement I came up with is I was like, you know what this is about, this is the woman I want to be that woman on the couch drinking a glass of wine, watching the news as much as I love my mom. My mom had passed away when she was 67 from lung cancer. That was my mom and that's not the woman I want to be. I love my mom, but this is the woman that I choose to be and I want to be. And so I would say to your audience like start with that, you know, and I used to, I think about like who are the people that I know in my community that I admire and there used to be. Um, there's a family and actually you actually resemble her very much. She is the mother of one of my daughter's friends when they were really little and her name is Amy and Amy would ride her bike and she did like century rides like 100 miles.
She looks exactly like you very much like you, She's very petite and she, she would drop her kids off at school, they'd all be on their bikes and we lived just like a mile from the school and I would drive my daughter down in our suv and I remember I was always like I want to be like Amy and she would run out and do like five Ks and 10 Ks and half marathons. And I remember doing a five K. Our daughters were both in girls on the girls on the run. Sierra's girls on the run. Yeah. And so we had this big five K event with all the moms and all the daughters and that was my moment of reckoning that I had lost my fitness because I thought I can do a five K with my daughter and there's amy with her daughter, my daughter's best friend and we all start running together and I kid you not, I was 44 I ran for a little bit and then I had to walk. So my daughter walked with me most of the 5K and Amy who looks like you and her daughter ran the entire thing.
No problem. And that was um that was a circumstance where humiliation can work to your benefit. I was I was overweight. I was out of shape. I was wearing like the cotton yoga pants that are like baggy and flared with a big white tennis shoe and the long like white man's t shirt down to my knees and I was like, I don't know who this person is, this is not who I want to be, who I want to be and it's okay. It's good to have those moments. And so you know, we've all been there, you don't have to stay there.
Which brings me to a question that I've been wanting to ask you and for the last few minutes maybe you can speak on this. What was that transition like for you from going from a brick and mortar business to deciding this is no longer who I want to be, this is who I want to be. This is the type of work that I want to be doing. This is the type of career that I want to build for myself. What what prompted you to make that decision and that move? Yeah, it's crazy easy, right? Because very rarely do people like actually walk away from the successful chiropractic practice. So something you know that I never thought I would do, um you know, it took years to build it.
We were doing very, very well in san Diego. I had a lot of chiropractic patients and a lot of weight loss clients. I was also in my office every day from 7:00 AM until 9:30 PM and I had a daughter who was a surfer and I was missing her surf practices. I was missing her surf contest. I was missing a lot of her life. Um and my husband was doing a lot of that and I mean I realized she was gonna get she was getting ready to go into high school and I was like oh my god four more years and then I've pretty much I've missed a lot of this. So there was that piece and then the second piece was remember teaching mindful eating weight last courses.
So I added mindful eating and just to kind of help people with with you know a lot of the emotions and calming the nervous system honestly. Um And I was like I was cramming people into my office and like I was maxed out at 10 women, I could only fit 10 women. So then we took the group down to the beach and we grew but I'm like winter is coming like you can't do this on the beach and I was like I just got to figure out how to reach more people and lo and behold someone showed up in front of me that showed me how to do that.
And now I have a master practitioner program and I help practitioners, they don't have to be licensed practitioners like you and I they can be health coaches but they need to be in the health space, health and wellness space. Um I help them transition out of either a brick and mortar business that they've already established and or some of them many of my clients are like they have one ft in I. T. And they're working these I. T. Businesses but they're also health coaches and they're also um certified in the psychology of eating and they have all of these skill sets or or energy work.
They have all these skill sets and they really want to help people online.
From Brick-and-Mortar Practice to Online Mentoring 40:38
Um But they're stuck in their I. T. Business because that's what that's what's paying the bills. So what I do is I help them fast track to online and do it faster than I did. So it took me I helped them do in one year what took me three years to do? And that's because I know what what are the important pieces that you need and what are the things that you don't need? It's kind of like the diet industry like when you don't know what you don't know you need buy stuff you don't need. And then all you are left to do is watch other people and go oh I should do what she's doing meanwhile back at the branch you don't know that what she's doing actually isn't producing anything for her. Right. So and that's been something I've been doing now for three years and I love that part of my business because what does it do?
It multiplies people like me and bring more people like you and I online for other people to access them because we're taking over the health we're taking over the health space. Not many people but like right right. And I think that's why I like I love you so much and love your work because like, we both have that personality of, hey, like we've been through stuff and it took us longer to get through that than what we want other people to have to do. So, you know, for me, it's a lot of the trauma work.
I don't want people to have to make all the mistakes that I did, I want to be able to help accelerate their path through that because it doesn't need to be as confusing as it's been made out to be and for you, it's this, you know, it's the trauma, it's that journey of coming out of, you know, leaving a brick and mortar clinic, which can be very scary for people and so the fact that you've done it and now that you're helping others accelerate that process from the lessons that you've learned, I love that about you.
Thank you. Yeah, I love it too, and you're right there, there can be trauma and it's a very traumatic for people to um spend a lot of money, have no result. And then, and then again, it's like the dieting thing, right? It's like, and then the story you make up about yourself is like, well it worked, it's working for other people, I must suck at this and it's like, no, you didn't, you don't suck at this. What you just did is actually a really challenging strategy and you don't even you don't have an audience, you know, or you don't, there are pieces you that you don't have.
So actually that would never have worked anyway. You don't have anyone telling you that. So I see a lot of us are lone wolves, right? Like we, it took me years to hire coaches because of trauma from domestic, that now is not the time to be going it alone. Like you know, speak out the people who are ahead of you who are Are doing it well and learn from their experience, their mistakes. Like you you know, learn from the stuff that you don't need to spend $10,000 on a website and a rebrand when you don't even know what you coach yet, you need to spend five years in talk therapy when we can just work directly with your nervous system and the trauma that's stored in your body. Oh my God, okay, so I was, I shouldn't even say this, but I will, I remember going into talk therapy several times and I remember the first time was when I was probably 20 for a what I considered I self diagnosed and eating disorder because I got into like a binge purge diet overeat like you did because I was teaching aerobics and over exercising and and starving myself, basically not eating enough.
Um are you sure we got twin sisters? I think we could be and well this is what does that tell us? It tells us that our story is like so many of your audience members, right? And I remember every time I would go in for talk therapy, I go in feeling kind of okay. And I kind of feel like, well I don't even know if I need to do this today, I would walk out of there like so anxious and so nervous and my nervous system was fired up from having these, these conversations about the, the stuff that was actually creating the trauma, bringing it up without no resolution to it, right?
Oh yeah, there was a resolution. It was, I'll see you friday, that'll be 100 bucks. I'm like, wow, I must be really screwed up. And I love like that this has kind of become your, your passion now and why it is so meaningful for you then to be working with women for sustainable weight loss and then you, you know, changed your career and practice and now that's become something very meaningful to you of helping people go through exactly what you've had to go through and learn those lessons. Yeah, I'm very blessed and I'm very lucky and I've also always had the right people at the right time come into my life and I think one of the things I recognize is God universe, whatever gives me the people that I need at the right time. If I'm, if I'm conscious and open and aware and being um discerning about it, which means not sitting upstairs drinking wine, watching the news at night because that clouds my, it clouds my day the next day, right? It really does and it and being able to surrender into that relaxation and trust that God you know the universe has got you right and it's it's gonna provide for you what you need when you need it and trusting that process.
Yes girl, I love it. You need to send me one of those paddles. I will, I'll send you a paddle, I'll send you a gas girl paddle and this beautiful planner. I love it. Yes good. Well dr kelly Reilly, thank you so much for joining me today as always. It's really fun talking with you and I am inspired by how you live your life and how you show up for others and thank you for that. Oh thank you Dr amy, I really appreciate you too. And I'm looking forward to our our next venture. You and I are already talking about. Likewise, I know and thank you for joining us today for the summit. I'm your host Dr amy and make sure and purchase the discount for the summit while it is still available once that is gone, it is gone forever and I would just love to see you inside and be able to connect with you more together. Let's find that next level of health and a liveness
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