Welcome to Hotness, the podcast that brings you practical tools to balance your hormones and rekindle connection, confidence, and desire in midlife and beyond.

I'm your host, Dr. Liz Lister. Hotners is a safe space for honest conversations about menopause, sex, identity, love, loss, reinvention, and desire, because you can embrace your hotness at every age.

Welcome to hotness. There was a time not long ago that I realized something that honestly surprised me. I realize that, I feel more alive, more confident, and more turned on in my life than I did even when I was in 20s and 30s.

The unexpected part was that it came after my degrees, after kids, and after great loss. After everything that I thought was supposed to define me had already happened.

So if you have ever had that quiet fear that maybe your best days are behind you, I want you to know they are not. Not even close. In my 20s and 30s, I had a lot of fun.

If you were there, do not tell my mother. I explored, had experiences, said yes to a LOT of things. Out in the world, traveling, living, dancing, becoming.

And like a lotta women, made choices that weren't necessarily aligned with who I really was. I got married to a man who, really deep down, I knew probably wasn't the right person for me, but my ovaries picked him because they were ready for babies.

I adore my young adult sons. No regrets. But I could tell that I wasn t fully expressed. I was in my late 40s when that marriage ended, peacefully. And I found myself in that place that a lot of women reach in midlife, where you look around and you think, who am I now?

What do I actually want? what parts of me have I never fully lived? It was the beginning of a true reinvention, even if I didn't fully know it at the time.

Then at 51, I met the love of my life, Michael. This time, everything was different. There was alignment, there was connection, uh, there was passion. We had an incredible relationship emotionally, physically, spiritually.

we met at our synagogue and it went from the day we meet to about a year later when we got married. It wasn't just love. it was the kind of relationship where you feel fully seen.

Fully met, you can fully express yourself and you feel fully held. Seven years later, he got sick and nine weeks to the day from his CAT scan showing his cancer, He died.

And just like that, everything changed. What followed was the deepest grief work of my entire life. Therapy, grief recovery program, rebuilding, being with family, everything I could think to do.

Learning how to be with myself in a completely new way. learning who I was without him. Learn how hold love and loss at the same time. It was deep, challenging work and so worthwhile.

And somewhere in that process, something unexpected started to happen. The following year, I dipped my toe back into the dating world, and I felt like I was on fire.

Not in a reckless way, not in the disconnected way. It even has a name. People talk about Widow's Fire. But it was not, as I said, it wasn't reckless or disconnected.

It was in a way that felt grounded, It felt clear. it really felt like me. I know my core values. Love, peace, power, and self-expression. And for the first time in my life, I was negotiating those values I wasn' abandoning myself to be chosen by someone else.

And what surprised me the most was that I was having more fun, more connection, and more authenticity than I ever did when I younger. I dived back into my beloved Argentine tango dancing.

Tango is a gorgeous metaphor for relationships. It's about presence. Its about listening with your ears to the music and with you energy to person that you are in the dance with.

its about connection at many levels. it includes knowing when to lead, when follow and when you can do your own little expressing of yourself. And that is what this midlife stage of life can be.

It's not smaller, it's no shrinking, It not quieter, its more intentional, Its more connected, its more alive. And That is why I am here. I'm doing this podcast because I want women to know that your hotness, your vitality, your desire, Your aliveness, it doesn't expire.

In fact, it can expand. It can deepen. You can become more you than you have ever been before, but only if you don't abandon yourself. So this podcast is about that journey, your hormones, body, relationships, identity, and desire.

How to come home to yourself, how to partner with yourself. Live and love and feel fully expressed at every age. A time when your hormones, your confidence, and your desire can come back online.

If you've been waiting for permission to want more, this is it. I'm really glad you're here. Welcome, Hot Ones. Thanks for listening to Hotness. Help more women find these practical tools by liking, sharing, and following the show, as well as leaving a review.

As a gift for listing, go to drlizmd.com forward slash hotness for your free midlife guide filled with powerful support for you mind, body, soul, because you can embrace your hotnes at every age.

Liz Lyster, MD

Why Midlife Might Be Your Most Alive Chapter